Joe Rogan Experience #10033 — Brendan Schaub Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Three, two, one. They just fucking won. English, son. Well, if US isn't in it, you know. I wake up early and watch the games. You know what it's like out there. About soccer and I was at a bar They mean well. especially if you're like an athlete, I don't give a fuck about your mountains They don't give a fuck about sports You got nature out there, though.

2:28 Yeah Where Yellowstone is it was in the San Juan mountains in Colorado have a salt pool you know how hot it is doing the chlorine the chlorine going he looks up and there's a fucking bear right in front of him and the bear doesn't do shit the That super hungry mountain lion? Yeah, just to attack. I'm going to run and get help. Way to go. Asshole runs off in that line and

4:56 Here it is. See if you can pull back you can see like where the bear walks behind those bushes. Yeah right here He's not even looking Because their instincts are to chase No. exactly well the problem is bears are just like every other animal right like think about dogs a female with their cubs game over yeah it's female grizzly with their cubs should just light

7:12 They bite each other's faces. They just fight. With your little bitch ass hands. exact same thing. I've thought It's fucking dope. I did it for two weeks and he goes you coming in on Wednesday He'd just be in there doing this stuff. He was saying it's good to mix in, but to do it every week all the time, has never been, like, more complicated. Just eat egg whites and drink milk

10:21 Lauren Lando is one of my best friends. powerlifting only. Yeah, it's over. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. He's a smart, smart man. He was talking about everything. It was like if you did a certain amount amount i forget the numbers he was talking about but if But the idea being to get yourself into this position where you can train hard, especially with physical fitness type stuff, shouldn't break your body down totally.

12:40 You can't just go hard in sparring. You're going to be screwed, man. push yourself to the limit and i remember is is bis being ngsp had the same concept and training Did it with him. You're better. I'm like, fuck you guys. Gymnastics A skinny small person? I'm saying Are they really tiny Ableist rant. Jonathan Horton is listed as 5'1, 5'6, 5'8. And then our stud.

16:02 Right. They don't. Hmm. For That gymnasts That's weird. I should call her Sim. Someone says go. A little slip. Don't you understand? If you can't make fun of some shit that I like, man, I like a lot of dumb shit. You and Crow Cop though But as far as US He just let it go a while ago. I bet he does. Those new balances are terrible. I think I heard that, yeah.

18:47 You're going to watch it. I look at it more like if, see, I think if Chuck Liddell was still an employee of the I don't know if Tito does so much because he was very smart. If we're going to live forever, if we're going to live forever, He's halfway there. So let's say Chuck is going to- Right. No. Because, like, I think they should be compensated or, like, I want them to parlay their careers

21:05 money and they're like so what is it about it is it the motivation that bothers me like what is it Yeah. Have you seen his tits lately? I was looking at his Instagram the other day. They get all red and shit. I mean, when he was on. Especially when the weigh-ins were the only day you had a pee. thing like for Vitor like something happens with him like when you when they

23:34 Yeah, he was doing it legally. And everyone wants to go. same stuff would he have beat john the answer is no well it was a very close fight up until that if anybody doesn't know the actual numbers. to take is real, folks. And your body would metabolize them. Baseball. Claim that all the Russian athletes run steroids. They don't even address like yeah, no shit, buddy

26:08 I wonder. Right. He's made for it. On his Instagram, we talked on his Instagram, he finds his fan and he's like, how long you been a fan? How does he get out of his contract? I guarantee you could talk to Dana. fighting. Like, I don't want to see him fight again. I sure month and lost to Lyoto Machida. He asked the fans, so he said Vandale, Chuck, Tito, Bisping, or Hendo.

28:38 He beat Vitor in UFC 37 and a half. The ultimate ice man. I didn't think of that. No, come on, golden snitch. He goes, with signing with the UFC, because of USADA, and obviously they've all been busted They even admitted it. Tim Means. And with Josh Barnett, it took a year to figure this out. Is that really what they did? I'd be like, well, this is a clear case of someone

31:04 stuff they did that took so long to get to the bottom of, coming in here, had a lot to work with, right? It's a very hard job. And he's probably one of the smartest men to ever grace the octagon. I see what you're saying. God damn it And you look at Vitor It looked like a fucking stingray was back there. It was just Winstroll coming out of his eyeballs.

33:52 I mean he just puts all that meat back on your boy your boy uh Whitaker was like that motherfucker's But you know what else maybe? I don't think this decision been a draw then. And I don't think It wobbled his legs a tad. But also, you go round by round, If you and I are in a fight and you're on top of me beating the shit out of me in the last few seconds when

36:20 But that's a fight. It's a good, no, it's a real good point, dude. And the fact that he fought that fight, most of it, with a fucking broken hand. A couple times. Okay. someone almost got finished. 10-7 game? I mean, fuck it, why even fight? If you're at 10-7. I think we should make this shit make sense Game I mean fucking fighting 10 set of you gotta stop someone fuck. You gotta stop, bro

38:12 Oh, there's all, yeah. triangle leg lock and max is kind of defending but he's in trouble yeah they're not giving that You got to know what you're dealing with. Dudes didn't know what the fuck was happening. both guys. I mean, this is the first, well, for He almost got Cub in the first round. Anyway, all credit to Max. and when he was cinching it up,

40:54 It's amazing. background man yeah it doesn't fluster him he's like i just i need something he never gives up I know but he was overwhelming Aldo like he went into that fight A guy who, you know, think about Like it is what it is. Yeah. Whoever wins this, I don't really care who. Well, you think about how much weight he had to lose to get to 55. Nate Diaz, Conor.

43:52 They just keep being humble. I love it, man. Yeah, I don't either. he trained with me and all the stuff but i never thought best in the world you know I've never like he never I know He steps up to the level of competition, man. When he landed that uppercut on Frankie, and I was like, Jesus. Well, and even Gray Maynard, he came back and won that fight.

45:49 well, maybe Frankie's at the end of his rope. And then he went on to beat Cub Swanson, what, To me, it's like the first real, like we're in the super fight era. You know what I'm looking forward to almost as much? double legs him I mean, he's an explosive dude and fucking plant their feet on top, Derrick with big KO power, stop Travis Brown. That Travis Brown TKO or a KO rather was ruthless.

48:01 You got to get to him. That's also Stipe. Stops Junior Dos Santos. jds that was prime jds who was a motherfucker motherfucker and kane put his fucking head right impressive is surviving that first round Because we're going to find a lot about whether or not he's able to correct mistakes, whether serious trouble that travis brown fight like he was in serious fucking trouble man yeah he's uh

50:38 Super crazy. I think I know you hate pigs, but when I break down the fight, I look at what that terrible picture What are they doing? I think also one thing to take into consideration yeah. You know, he's gonna, and he stud and he was an olympic silver medalist himself and d know, man. And DC just ragdolled him. When I look at Stipe, similar to what DC's used

52:42 the reason why DC's going to go down as one of the greatest of all time they're really good at everything? They win Kane's thing was wrestling. could be that. And who is Kane back I go right. than anybody that ever lived for like two years. Real tough guys. But, them down. Real tough guys. To get a guy that's got that kind of mind, And remember, DC, before he went there,

54:49 followed suit. on the ground You look at him and you go, oh, David Branch. He's fucking up rolling, like just destroying. Noiu-jitsu guys. He's fucking up, Roland. He got a huge gash in it. So you think Stipe and DC goes to DC by decision? They both have to embrace the grind thing. He'll stand here like this and drop one in on you. You know, he might have a lot to prove here.

56:50 He can kick. So that's why he sees it. Powerful, Jamie. Watch this. think how good DC is he took a couple extra shots there If you're Scrooge McDuck and you're sitting down and you're looking at the UFC roadmap, I got next! Wade in the back going We're assuming that John's going to get a suspension and he's going to be able to come back fairly soon.

59:07 It's a great fight. Just like the last one. No one's going to ever let that happen. That's what I'm saying. And who wouldn't want to see that? I don't know. The whole thing is kind of crazy that it's self-imposed. Yeah, when The Ultimate Fighter took off. You'd be like, fuck, this is not good. I'm still going home to get my dick sucked. Yep. The Nine, though.

1:02:15 I've done stand-up at Palms. is there all the time. I think it's in the Ian's there a lot, though. Have you ever been to one of those Cirque du Soleil's? How about when Disney uses those robot flipper things to do a Cirque du Soleil show? robots, but here's what's fucked Look at this. Look at it swing and look at it things dude that's a robot that's a robot son look at this look at it swing

1:04:32 Oh my god. Cuts. They're not even going to need people for voices. If you're a Wolverine fan, I was like, God damn, bro. It's like that movie, The Wrestler. That's what's going on, son. He's not doing that this show. What? Hugh Jackman got super jack. So they just mapped out his face. No. Dude. I'll tell you what, though. Wasn't thrilled about him as The Hulk.

1:07:32 But then Mark Ruffalo, best Hulk. Like Christian Bale's the best Batman. How are you gonna cast Michael Keaton? Oh, when Jim Carrey was the Riddler And then Tommy Lee Jones Wait a minute But Christian Bale He got super skinny. this skinny thing for a movie? Tony Hinchcliffe. That's all natural. No. He's English. You know that? I thought he was Australian. Is he's a beast he's English you know that I thought he was Australian

1:09:35 Jackman's Australian Don't get me wrong. Him in Reign of Fire, he is bodied the fuck up. I never saw that one. It was in the future. With dragons? Super jacked. Matthew McConaughey shirtless, Reign of Fire. it's a dumb movie these dragons I watched Game of Thrones. Yeah. It's over, bro. They just rap? He's jacked Right above your cursor But wouldn't you do all the steroids to play these roles?

1:12:42 Yeah, intermittent fasting. Oh, I'd be like, we need more scenes where I'm shirtless. That's Blade. That's what you got to try for. You ask girls, they're like, no, I don't like fucking. Disgusto. Watch it down with the shake. Watch it down the shake. I'm not saying you are fat. I have body image issues. That's not real. I go, what are you talking about?

1:14:49 You're hating on someone because they're attractive? But does that matter? Maybe they're just not into that stuff. can be a curse. Yeah. Dude, there's a You want them just like, you know what I'm saying? know what i'm saying the problem with some tens that go to eights can't handle it well even when Did you? Is that what it is? Yeah. Don't try, hey, don't try to relate to me on this.

1:17:37 an 8 Series with that That's where I draw the line, when the lights go up. Yeah, those are cool. The M3 the big wing in the back yeah the m3 the back's different yeah no not so what they look like that's, yeah. That's not a 2005. Yeah, it is. That's an E46. The back's different. And the thing about it, it's a light, small car that moves well. No, no, no.

1:19:37 Way faster. on you buy the shirts do you ever see a kid that spends so much money on a really shitty accord Those kids thought they were so cool. And the girls are like... Again, you're not doing that for girls. You're doing that just accept what it is It's peacocking Yeah Like you're like Look at this And the girls are like Yeah look at that Yeah How much does that thing weigh?

1:21:33 Ruins me for everything else. a 911 T what how lights a 911 T and then soup the send it to shark works just to What did they get them down to? I'm 35. I can have that thing. What is the horsepower? I bet that's just as light, but that's got like 500 horsepower. People, they say it's one of the best daily driver's Porsche. Wow, that's 3,100 pounds, son.

1:23:28 They just nailed that shape. Like every 911 looks like a 911. 2019, and you can go, oh, I see. Camaros, they're trying to go back to it. Seinfeld gets like those and shit. for driving around town? a golf club shirts All the handicaps you get in life, one of the biggest handicaps you get is a trust fund. 400%. I know. You guys just mentioned it. But what do you do with your kids?

1:27:18 in difficult situations. then they get you and you have to tap that's very personal you'll get humbled for sure but most They panic because they've never been there before. many people see it the other class might see it when you're professional sports and we're playing Because if you tap me out, when I go to school, no one knows that. I know. The ball went between his legs.

1:29:42 It was like there was reports of it all over Boston. Tragic. Look, all of it they get nervous about trying new things or doing things. knowing i've been someone's been on top of me before and i didn't think I'd get up I think it's a very valuable thing for people to experience That a lot of people can't do. Because I watch a lot of fights. Encourage him.

1:32:02 He's on a teddy bear doing like arm bars on teddy bars on teddy bears. And he's, you know. Pretty gnarly. Look at him. Crazy horse, get on his back. This is like his biggest pupil in terms of jujitsu. He's got everything. Couldn't afford it, so Henner took him under his wing. He's contagious. Watermelon juice. egos and just being like a cool like you can hang out with henner anywhere and he's like a great

1:34:16 Where's that at? It's right up the street. Think about how many jiu-jitsu schools. have access to other instruction that is a great note in wyoming or some shit and you can go online Snowdon? It's amazing. It does. Great guys. No. Not even with just guns a lot of them get into bow hunting. Oh, yeah a lot of them I figured you and Matt would get along. Yeah, great guy. Great guy, right? Yeah, and the a little bit of that. They're very good with the guns. Not even with just guns. A lot of them get into bow hunting, in fact. Oh, yeah. A lot of them.

1:36:11 I know. How about Big Brown Blend? I know. I guess. It was really fun. He's fighting that Russian character. Volkov's the darkest of Dark Horse. Ivanov, yeah. almost died see if you can find that story it's a it's a crazy story god they're doing jewish no Yeah, he got stabbed in the heart. Yeah, so this was like 2011. Yeah Damn That's his first fight for sure.

1:38:56 It depends what junior we get, you know? there's no big write-up, I mean, when was the last time he fought? It was a good fight. Yeah. Tour de France. Like it's so taxing on your body? I mean, how long did he get sat out for? I had no fucking clue. Am I wrong about that? The one thing I wish the UFC would do better, even this isn't the UFC, but it'd be great

1:41:32 I need fucking something or celebration of his career some just I need something man. You just can't go Jon Jones Fighters beings uh when they don't want to do it anymore. And I mean, I think it happens with every job. You got to be all in in this. That's a fucking run, man. Ooh, the head kick. Dude, the special, when I think about Rashad, he was so special to me in my career because

1:43:56 And he would just drop knowledge about the professional life of fighting. He goes, it's cool. He goes, I feel just like you do, man. That was one of the best knockouts ever. Dude whatever Vitor's on He knew Yeah. Look at this, man. You know, when I first started He was always talking about Then he gets down on his knees Dude, went, fucking fights over there.

1:46:55 There's some cool fights over there. their streaming service so now they signed with them so now bellator you remember how they had Their first one's going to be free. He's fighting Roy McDonald. Ryan Bader's never looked better. He could be heavyweight champion. He's never stopped getting better. Fitch is going to Fitch, though gonna Fitch though Okay but why make that fight

1:48:53 Like in terms of Especially after he He came over there. Yeah. Joe Schilling versus Paul Daly in MMA. After all the shit he talks about guys taking him down? The problem that Joe's been having is they don't give him fights. Yeah, I loved watching him fight in kickboxing. I do not understand. Fucking that was amazing. We've done Glory Fight Companions.

1:51:09 I never miss Fight Companions. Dude, I love kickboxing, man. I think we did one. Eve Edwards and Joe Schilling. I still love it. Who was fighting? It was a big Bellator. Bombs on bombs on bombs. The plan wasn't just recklessly abandon and engage on him. Like, he did that with Arlovsky. But Frank also said ring rust is real. Bellator? Scott Coker's on the phone Josh Barnett's supposed to sign with him. Bellator?

1:54:04 Let him get saucy. Barnett saucy against Ryan Bader? Well, who do theyweights, it's trouble. Get saucy. Dude. Let them get saucy. Remember when Josh stopped Frank Mir? Some serious cardio to do that for five rounds. Hunk. Yeah, that's the problem. But if he goes to Bellator. Gegard was just talking about this. trust that guy. He said, whoa. We post-dated all his urine samples.

1:56:16 What is going on with him? He's like, he's going like this backstage. Stem cells? will not be achieved, then That doesn't work. How many months ago was that? Really? Let me see that one right there, where he's moving around. bad he might not be ready you know right and he might hurt himself yes but he's got to be with Scar tissue. That's not much time, man.

1:59:11 Yeah, I don't even know if that would totally help. It's better than eating fucking fruit roll-ups. I think it's real iffy whether or not they can catch you doing that. Those guys could probably get away with it. that? Would the UFC allow? You can't I know. that you can do like platelet rich plasma or you know dude send him down to panama If TJ's doing it, it's legal.

2:01:50 A lot of it was like all these deals. special treatment. I'm talking Tom Brady. Damn. It's also, Pettis hasn't exactly been on a hot streak. Choked him out, didn't he? Michael Chiesa, number nine. We're not flying down. From the Michael Johnson fight You know there's holes in his ear. everything to try and get the best body possible well now that he works it on it too like that's

2:04:38 Was he talking about that? nose. He did it IV, had it done up his nose, and he did like a full I feel like he should be on Brian's podcast. And talked about all the different things that's what I'm saying you know the French Alps please let him talk talk shit like we talk shit probably no they're smart guys smart shit though right no there's Does one person start the topic and then you guys go around like a round table?

2:06:53 Those big dinners are tough because you don't really talk to it. I thought about this the other night. Just like you don't want to be the toughest guy in the room. You don't want to be the best fighter in your gym. They're asking me about fighting or whatever. So I flipped the script on them. I don't want to talk. I was fucking fascinated, man. It is.

2:08:13 Well, you do. i look at him i think that's steak you know no i need him on the podcast for sure he would be a Oh, my God. Play it on the podcast. Go full screen direct subordinates one of my guys that worked for me he would he would call me up or pull me When things are going bad, there's going to be some good that's going to come from it. startled don't get all bummed out don't get startled don't get frustrated if you can say the word good guess what it means you're still alive

2:11:59 When I'm running hills and I'm tired, I just go, good. like making that switch in your mind to just look at things in a different way everybody can do that and something business-wise, I don't get some, I'm usually all good. I'm usually pretty positive. A lot of times get addicted to things. It's like real, like the type of person that becomes a Comics have these weird cop-outs.

2:14:21 The more attention and more focus you put on it, the better you're going to get at it. of different sources. He's always fucking flying around in a jet. The jet thing is I get that. But you're just like, fuck yeah, let's get it. It's almost a problem where I root for everyone. Like, I did a show at the Ice House, and like, you need someone to open up for you.

2:16:03 It's like, I want everyone door guys in. That's beautiful. Because I'm like, how can I? You know what I'm saying? It's like I want everyone to do well. anything if you want the people around you to do well it's a great attitude to have with everything But the jealousy doesn't work. Yeah, you're putting energy into things you can't control It's a weird thing to see.

2:17:47 I'm like, dude, we just went through an eight-week camp. But I don't see it around there. and people would come to see you just because you were an actor but you weren't really trying, I mean, unless you look like Luke Rockhold or you got some, you know, you're the perfect Well, if you're a standup, there's no rules. So a lot of actors looked at it like, oh, I'll just put together an act.

2:19:37 And he came on stage and went, oh, fuck, that's John Goodman. But before he had that, you know, air quotes, incident at the Laugh Factory, They're not booking those people. Brian said he was at the Improv and drove over there. He was getting heckled. it was weird man and then he got up there And I looked at Sam and I go, what the fuck's he doing, man?

2:21:57 He does warm-ups for so many television shows for so many years that he's super comfortable just talking to people. live from the main room when did they do this Iowa and they're like yeah from there he goes there you go and moves on to the next person like Jesus Christ man Yeah, he was talking about it on stage. Good for them. That's awesome. He can go around and he'll go, Iowa.

2:22:35 It's 10. I don't know if he writes it or if he just does it. But he says it and it's fucking hilarious. just played your shows. I don't want to be that guy. feel like kevin hart like what the fuck that was a fucking a plus but then you go to the comedy So you have extra confidence at a place like the Ice House to do different shit. Yeah, I mean, you also get different things from different size rooms.

2:24:57 It's so fascinating, man. Almost like there's a darkness back there that I want to meet. Nice guy from a good family. like 450. 450. Giant That's hilarious. You know, because some subjects, like, there's quite a few bits that are going to be in my Netflix special that when I first started doing them, they weren't that good. stage like yeah but it's you know along the way sometimes it just tanks you know that has to

2:27:34 should i cut out and where what you know what show was the best one that was what it was like Wilbur, right? uh kevin hart he was at pepsi center oh yeah i went i wonder how how the fuck do you pull off it's also strange in comedy because someone kevin hart might be your cup of tea but then they might That's the same with books. Blowing up. They say, how much did they pay you?

2:30:10 Old school. I think Russell Peters beat you. That was part of the problem. Stylebender. He's injured. He's supposed to pull out, but he's going through it. He really is. You see they're selling the Ultimate Fighter house? What? Hotfail Sun Tzu, Rob Font. That's right. Very smart. Dude, the fuck? Jakar close and Lando Venata. Holy shit, what a card this is.

2:33:12 You never know. Stipe versus DC. Not good. But see, I think this does around between 400, 600. It's obviously not working anymore. So there's a model somewhere. But also the sponsorship deals, the endorsement deals, Yeah. NBA Finals. especially now with illegal streaming. Really? No. That's not the fans' problem. I think it's $10. So I got to pay for that.

2:36:10 I've got to pay, how much is that going to be? do you think they could make it up? Netflix, Amazon, those guys didn't want to play a game. Can you get Twitter on your TV? It's not playing off your phone directly Google Play used to be science fiction 100%. That's amazing. Plus, it's at least headed in the right direction. Yep. Dish what? Hmm. Hulu TV viewing. Hmm.

2:38:42 For the UFC. We have so much money We'll just buy it I wonder But really happy. numbers, which I feel Right. But it's their business. Do you think you're at a disadvantage if you're not on Netflix these days? I don't know. Yeah, I think he actually, I think it's available on Amazon. They'll go seek it out. But that's very expensive to do. Microsoft's Xbox and album version will also be released on the same day in digital and physical formats.

2:42:14 charge $4.99. Well, he could do whatever Well, that's the thing. Do you know how many comics have done that and had a YouTube video doing her nails. She's very funny. It made him insanely popular. You would hate us if you saw our text every day about shoes and fashion. You like them more than the 350 Boost. Red suede. I said, I'll wear these motherfuckers.

2:44:00 Are you a San Jose Sharks fan? And I go, Chris, you want these? And I said to Brian, I went, fuck you. You're supposed to wear these when you're in Catholic school. He like got older and fell into his established wardrobe. Why does he dress like a skater? Dude, that's fucking Brian. That's recent because his hair is leaving. That's what I told him Roll down those shoes.

2:45:59 Is that how you folks do it? You know what it is? What are they called? You didn't grow up They would dress up like they knew Kung Fu. fashionable. Yeah, those are fashionable. I feel like someone on one of those did a bit. Aqua socks like if you went to Waterworld or like a water park aqua socks wearing a mountain public do nothing drives a fucking girl up worse than

2:48:08 Maybe they want to be a superhero. Hmm. Well that's some shit That you just showed Those look real similar Like when there's no cushioning at all and it's a thin layer your foot is like pushing off and gripping some shit but you Homeboys around here, right? Yeah. It's supposed to be incredible for anti-aging. And then for 15 minutes, you'd be like, oh, I shit my pants.

2:50:47 Psoriasis is too bad. He's one of those guys, huh? It's my diet. Don't look down on him from the third floor, though. Tampa Improv, that's a weird area. I love Texas, man. Brian should fucking try that, Stress too. A lot of shit, son. But I always want to be at the Ice House and hopefully a set at Laugh Factory too if I can make them. But I always, yeah,

2:52:34 Neil Brennan has a show, Yep, me too. Nothing? Nothing crazier today. Not today? Addison Improv, that one? Joey Diaz. Boom.