Joe Rogan Experience #10036 — Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 four three two one so we get here and young Jamie is obsessed with whether or not Leonardo You're talking about the Tom Hanks movies? I don't see a sly smile. Do you know that people did have bad teeth back then? Apparently getting cavities and so apparently fluoride is effective at keeping The problem is the hippie articles confuse you because it'll say, like, naturalnewsletter.com.

2:58 now I've got to look up the actual studies. It's tough to figure out. God, you guys are lucky Eddie's not here. why why would you be worried about that by at least 25 percent of both children and adults because I got to, who the fuck is right here? In a review of every fluoridation study they could find... That's what we do, bro. In the two studies since 1975 that examined the effectiveness of fluoridation

5:45 We just said something and people are going, or some shit. You can get to the bottom. Because, you know, it leaks mercury. Is this the same dentist who said your teeth are straight? And you can't tell. He also changed his voice. Veneers are amazing. Dude, I'll get us a three for one deal up there. What, bitch? I think they're his real teeth. And I think at the left. I think they're his real teeth.

7:34 Those do look like his real teeth. in that movie. I just watched He just got braces. But that's hard to tell. I've seen all his movies. Those are normal. That's why he's smiling crooked. It's awesome He's also nice as shit Watch how jacked his ankle gets. Look at that. He still finishes. He hobbled off when he got up. He does all that shit For the end of one of those movies

10:38 Yes. Everyone's wrapped up in this own little thing. Dude, Tom Cruise is fucking legit. That was a terrible movie. Hold on. You don't like face off? it's so big it can eat your head because they've been pulling their pulling their skin back to And the curtain comes open open and one guy's hanging It's an action movie with John Travolta and Nick Hagen.

13:14 I heard it's so bad. Okay, let's just Google how bad is the Gotti movie. That's crazy. He can act his fucking ass off. Did you see him in the O.J. Simpson on FX? Yeah. When he playedta's so good, man. He can act his fucking ass off. He's great at everything, man. Tom Cruise has done, from End of Days, even, like all those movies, he didn't even do all

14:26 Oh, that's right. They're like, hold up. I agree. You fucked up. And I was reading all the parts opposite him, and they were trying to get Owen Wilson. He's a little late, just a little late. Fucking right he did. And some penta water. And he's like, hold on. but if you didn't show up and you charmed people there and just rubbed backs. I went to an event, a thing that was going on.

17:12 In the Scientology building? Freaking out. Fuck, man. They got a lot of money. and i'm gonna use all these tools in order to maximize if you read anything about, that he was self-healing. And he really cataloged it. a uniform body. Look at that shit. Oh, he beats the shit out of people, right? Who's that said that? What was his dad's name? Made me sad.

19:58 And somebody said, are you a Scientologist? So if that makes me a scientist, I guess I am. There's a lot of things that are like that, Nothing wrong with that either. I mean, Leah Remini, she is the worst fucking person to do this to. She likes that role. Don't say anything stupid, Joe. Was she in that? She was super young, right? How did they get Tom, though?

22:12 I bought it, Dianetics. Wow. I was here as a grown But I'm just telling you, this is Dianetics was something you'd see on late night television. So you were curious. I knew they were doing steroids. We you could find out like okay. What is Scientology based on you could find out you could find in okay? This is what their perspective is. thing and you open it up and you have all these

24:48 I got a lot out of him. But there's guys that, it's the same thing as like with musicians or with carpenters Oh my God. That's why you put a fucking frying pan down. run on coals if you move And they're like, oh, shit. No. The stand- Shane Mouse? No. What was he thinking? He just dropped or took a step down. I think it was the book Blood Meridian. So they just, the soles of his feet are taken off.

27:51 My left foot was in really bad shape. too busy to see me. Exactly. do here's my question before anesthesia for anesthesia and x-rays when you did Dude, I don't even like running in those barefoot shoes. I run these. Even the bees. That is such a dumb thing to do. But you can get a blister, apparently, in the wrong place when you're hiking way up And he missed his daughter's fight and had to stay in a hospital in Thailand and get IV

30:49 They kept growing into it. So he doesn't have a nail. That's creepy. is about 78 years of that are all cracked. He's got a size 14 shoe too I was like, notice I just went quiet. I'm not changing it for you. Don't get mad. shows. Yes. 270. That is He's great. God, it's great. It's got a bit of Midwest That is correct. is now America's rat capital. How do they really know

34:13 complaining more. Dude, my buddy had bought a building in New York, and he had to clean it out in the basement. That documentary on Netflix. I don't like the white ones with red eyes, though. Are we going to blame humans for the plague? Oh, my God. You know, they're starting to see those in Texas now. Dave Attell had an episode of his TV show. They're fucking everywhere.

36:04 But when those motherfuckers take hold, once they're there, it's real difficult to shake them off. How were the crazy- ass animals in Thailand? Well, first of all, because the babies, they'll let you touch the babies first. So they're just laying there like this, like looking at you. No, me neither. How big? So this thing is bigger than that, probably 175 pounds, something like that, 200 pounds.

38:23 The cats are listening to them for the most part. looking at you and looking at everybody. Was your wife bummed out, too? They're fucking taking risks. rhino horn type properties. It must be bad. So it does have some medicinal value to it. That's like, it's a bad thing to have. You just can't possess a part of its body. Weird. No, but it's used for medicine.

41:04 That was way different. Yeah, not only do they roam, They talked about all the different, goes to food, and they've reintroduced seven elephants into the wild through this And the elephants just wander through the forest eating whatever the fuck they want. But look, they're basically living like they would in the wild. There's 600 muscles in their trunk alone and no bones.

42:47 Like, it's sketchy because you worry, well, what if they fall? riding it for like we're you in a basket 20 million a basket or just on it no you Game over. It rains constantly. Have you seen the video where there's a bull elephant hitting a Mack truck? First of all, you're feeding them with your hands. But the trunk is And they met each other. Yeah.

45:31 you live in this... Wipe out your crop. We go on elephant hunting. They have to come. Oh, my God. I'm not talking about fucking helicopters. But that's how they do it and they put them in a zoo i mean there has to be I'm amazed at that. Yeah, Japan's over, no. So, okay. You don't see a single fucking elephant, man. the places where they're underpopulated, the places where they're overpopulated.

48:08 or they fuck things up. and they're fucked. It was killing young males. Yeah, you pay a lot. He was fucking big. Let's do the same thing. Killed a male breeding her and it killed a female breeding her and it killed a young male. He's a hunter. with these rhinos and the giraffes? No. They're so there's been a lot. And then if you look nature would have found its way.

50:59 It seems... I get it, man. I think they got shot by poachers, and the poachers were like, it's a lot easier just to say that they got eaten by lions. It's entirely possible that that happens. to do whatever the fuck they can to make money. Like you would shoot at a rat or a coyote or something that was trying to eat your chickens And he said poachers will shoot at you, too.

53:02 I'm saying us. Oh, yeah. Yo, here's the thing about China. That's why they drive like that. They have to figure it out Just walk right in front of people and smush into each other kept, they were super, we'd be in line, they'd There's none of that shit. Yeah, India's kind of similar You've been there before, right? It is a crazy 20 miles to your house. I see what you're talking about.

55:19 That's insane. That's cool. We'll be in the theater about 26 minutes. we got this all day. And then right when people in it. I asked the Uber. It just does not. That's what they should say Illegal aliens are here I would live there Newport Laguna Niguel Love Newport The. What do you think? I would live there. All day. I would live there all day. Okay, 3.17 million people.

57:32 It's a disrespectful thing. I have no fucking clue. Like, why don't we gentrify Mexico? Look at Delaware. They make up a lot of... And they've got to put together, you know, the average is $3,000. So you get together. They get robbed. They go. They get robbed of all their shit. It's per person. Yeah. So you got kids, you got the family. They get robbed. So you get together,

59:12 of Syrian refugees and it's so easy. i mean it's a beautiful place. Very, very cosmopolitan. Not necessarily. the difference between Syrians well educated and he wanted to move next door to you. Super nice guy. You know what I mean? A lot of these school shooters, the mass shooters, a lot of them are white, too, man. But it also might have been that Trump liked fucking with Obama because Obama liked fucking with Trump.

1:01:43 He's like, oh, really? a personal feud and less likely that he actually thought Obama was from Kenya. Like, when people go too far with it, it's not that he's not doing terrible things. the people that support him more aggressive everybody gets more aggressive you get more defenses. No, you're not. You're scaring evidence to prove that they've got a point like no no it's a this is a never

1:03:36 Digging your heels into one team or the other, I don't think it necessarily is. But that is a very different thing than all of the hatred and the fucking going after people. And what does civility mean? fucking Hamilton. But for the most part, like do you understand what happens when you yell at people? levels of aggression See that shit coming and I go. Oh these guys are fighting. Let's get the fuck out of here

1:06:51 It's going to. And then they want to do something to commit to that movement. So if I say, well, you know, according to the United Nations or the Bureau of Labor and Statistics, and you go, that's bullshit. I can't even have an argument now. But I'm trying harder than I've ever tried in my life, and I've been on a path trying Your emotional connection.

1:08:57 I said, do you feel like you're winning this debate? Don't make them feel like they're losers. Do you think they're just going to give in to you? They're sexist. Transphobic. They're racists, they're sexists, There's also that, give people On Instagram, if you have 1,000 comments and 900 of them are positive, you'll see the one negative. Oh, I know.

1:11:12 Have you looked at how, how many people alcohol kills versus guns, for example? And then there's also to be flinching. kill their shot in a year, we'd be like like what in the fuck are you talking about because we accept South side? Like, if there's a serial killer. And that's where I will not go into the ocean and swim where I can't touch the ground.

1:12:41 Great place. Like a seal. I'm making CNN for sure. I'll take that. Jeff Garlin. There's a lot. if I could have a minute of your time. Now that Joe's gone. What about Vancouver? I'm shooting some of the Goldbergs, I think, August, September. Yeah. I'll get restless. I'm like, let me get back on the road. Sometimes it can be a little bit. So now he's going to take a break from the road.

1:15:34 I'm like, I need to get back on the road. Constantly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to do what say, at my level in comedy, you were grinding. Grinding. Constantly. And I get back, and I'm like, I need to get back out. You get tired of waking up Right, your home routine. You also, I don't think there's an alternative in terms of like creating material i think you

1:16:52 Yeah. Now I've got to piss out on my big dick. But I can still run. a recurring injury, right? of people don't strengthen is their spine you know I've spent a lot of time over the last few years I got no problems with my lower back. You, like, pull it on and then you pump it like a Reebok pump. in a way where you're giving it Yoga is great for the back, great for the spine.

1:19:33 It's a very left-wing. It's back. Sean's sick. the other guy won. I kept reading that he be with the rest of your body? I heard it was a tough fight. If you lose to one of them, it doesn't mean that you're not good. Tough got tired. I would disagree with that. these days. The ratings are so bad. where you're getting your new young talent. For that show

1:22:23 Ratings are way better. It's so weird. It's but Yeah I don't know Whatever the fuck they call it, So if you're Fox, it's kind of smart. They're just trying to make money. I don't know. How many people watch it? Yeah, I don't know. And they're like, he has eight. the talent pool sometimes is so different. No. It's popular with people that want to do it.

1:25:33 have to make it special, right? But At least some of them are. going to go off into big ESPN events. Who's Borrachina? Double body. And I think there's a cycle the same way there's a cycle of predators and prey. There's always someone. Besides him, George St. Pierre, if he wants to fight. But if the UFC was around, I mean, if we were at the stage where Brock was, like, say, before he beat Frank Mir,

1:27:58 So it's in that level. You can go Conor, Brock, Ronda. Which is number 1 Misha Tate They're in their own stratosphere, right? Well, and that's why Nate hasn't taken a fight because that trilogy is the biggest, you know, one of the biggest that hasn't happened. And I'll be watching from here with you guys. I'd really like you to come. Good luck. I'd rather be here with you guys anyway. It's more fun.

1:30:11 Yeah Having cheese and shit If I can keep Eddie off the Illuminati. You can take a sharp left. Well. Mike Perry Cerrone. He hits fucking hard. It's Jackson on Jackson crime with him and Cowboy. he said he was essentially running his own camp training himself before like that one when it bounced off his head when it bounced off perry's head I was like, dude, I don't like that one. When it bounced off his head, when it bounced off Perry's head,

1:31:59 Give it up. Yeah. such a, I think he's a high level striker. Still stood his ground toe-to-toe with that guy. And then we saw it. obvious it was a different perry head hunting just yeah yeah just more one-dimensional he was trying I am. For sinuses. give me nope for anybody I think it was against Jeremy Stevens' fight this weekend. He is. I know. already cutting weight for this fight or

1:35:13 colby i haven't talked to dana you don't talk to colby but i don't i think the conversation i'm not Woodley, we need you to fight and you want these super fights, It's not like he's been out a while. cut when he was trying to make up to 85. I couldn't believe With these guys Is But here's my point. We need to fill this gap. How about you give, Colby retains his interim title because there's extenuating circumstances

1:37:35 Maybe he's saying that. well maybe it was Usman who has quietly but if you go through right it's not like he was he wasn't't Darren Till and people. I meant before the Damian Maia fight with Colby. when he had him from behind. who was talking about the guy takes the fight on short notice. You've got to let the crowd boo. It's entirely possible this is happening right now.

1:39:52 Well, I think one of the things is because they want that. Boxing doesn't have a schedule they have to fill that way and trying to figure out who fights who? And Sean Shelby and Mick Maynard, Just reading books and chilling. I've learned about a lot of books from Joe Silva. Look at it. No, no, no. You've got time. Yeah. Just taking my phone buzzing.

1:42:08 So until you crack that top 15, That's very strange. She wanted to do September, but Amanda Nunez has to wait until December. Cyborg, she fights once every year. Well, if Cyborg does decide No. and then had her fight Cyborg. up and bang, but now But still, it's like Cyborg I mean, it's like Megan Anderson at least has some hype behind her. And going up to 45, you know, staying at 45.

1:44:41 So now you're in this situation where you're like, all right, let's call up Amanda Nunes. Than anybody she's ever fought. But Sharina Barge You know She knocked her down Amanda Nunez Holly is awesome She's like 36 now. She's not. Great hands. She's the greatest of all time. You've seen this? I think you said guy. Now imagine, name another professional female fighter who can get down like this.

1:47:08 I would pay money for you to jump in there with either one of these girls. and then up to the head. No, you're right. Look at that. Amanda Nunez's fight, we talk about her stand-up. I don't think Amanda Nunes' smart against Raquel Pennington. It wasn't just A lot of money. No, no. Amazing. and the fact that he wasn't making any money out of it. and developed this incredible school and this incredible gym. I mean, it's one of the best facilities on the planet earth when it comes to

1:50:11 Those Cuban jeans, Like plantains. Versailles. Lemon garlic sauce. Cuban girls? It's a big part of it, for sure. Everybody knows that Yeah, I think there's You know what I mean? If you can buy a plot of land here, and the wine's like $30 a bottle, for whatever reason, Nowhere in the world grows tobacco better than Cuba. but here's the fucked up part.

1:52:54 NyQuil tiger. Really? And it's like you stand in front of the windows. Any skill like that, right? by hand and he's getting his finger wet With that old school knife Do you think he's doing extra Then they take the outside Do you guys love cigars? They spray it with lots of pesticides. I don't think so. Then it doesn't really get washed. You have to pick on everything?

1:56:19 You were seeing those guys? Number one, you can actually get a runny nose from the cocaine residue, and you get sick But they found crazy shit. Because probably some poachers were dealing, turning back and forth. It's so old school. If someone's like, dude, we got rhino horn tea. like i gotta try that well you know what man if you're far the Green Hills of Africa

1:58:16 oh yeah part of what part of a week why I went and bought all that weed last week is because the new rules came into place, What we smoke is what I've been smoking a lot lately is blunts with uh the tobacco on the outside on the inside yeah i felt like i I go, it's like the tobacco mixed in with the weed. was using one of the fucking vapor pens yeah here's my doctor says this way bet i went have

1:59:55 Yeah. I'll smoke. I'm getting into psychedelics, I've decided. I've done mushrooms many times. You can let go of your ego. He jacked off in the tank. Well, let me tell you something. That's so disrespectful. He's a liar. really amazing. I kind of felt myself floating Hey Joe, that place is oh whatever come on me okay He uses water filtration systems for like you would use for a city.

2:02:57 It is a one fucking time thing I was in the warm water why don't I be naked I get it I get it People are gross. This is what people are thinking. Beats Francis when everybody's terrified of Francis. is the most impressive fighter to ever step in the octagon That's all he's waiting for. But Corey Anderson just asked for a title shot now Can Brock pass tests?

2:05:03 How long do you need before it goes down to your sister? Then how's he opening up? If he would have won that, I wanted to see him get a title shot against DC because I want DC to get paid. He's a fucking Brazilian tortoise with a unibrow. Even though he's 36, like, look, when Bernard Hopkins was 36 is when he knocked out Tito Trinidad. Yeah. in that last fight.

2:06:34 Yeah. He's a motherfucker. The argument for it is he knocks out Rashad on short notice. I mean, it's not Brock and I like Brock, DC, because DC gets paid. Yeah, sure. Do we want to talk about cheating for Yoel to DC? the air, this is what was wrong. the chair now but he said this clusterfuck that happened over 30 He goes, I feel like he got away with something.

2:08:48 If no one's getting the stool, I'm like, I'm chilling. Thank you. and that was the punch It's not something Who knows what was it? Such a freak. I love you all. No, if you think he won, you go to 10-8 rounds. But he hurt him badly in both of those rounds, right? The one was awful. He did it with one leg. That's incredible. Yeah. I forgot about that.

2:11:03 I know, but the problem. For sure. A lot of shit. Yeah, I'm going right after you, bitch. front leg side kick. at my boy Kelly Slater. Well, Stephen Thompson just lost to Till. He did knock Robert Whitaker out. fighting for the title. He and he's an enormous welterweight. Right? You find out what fucking weight is the right weight for them. Great fucking idea.

2:14:05 Yes. I think, make sure that's correct. So you don't strip the champions. Okay. He continued, obviously, the more solutes you have, the more dehydrated you are. Franklin knows a lot about this, too. the guys that was one of the first He was a beast. the best of all time. He was a ninja. He's an all-time great. He's kind of a nerd. and knocked a guy out?

2:17:13 His fucking trainer told him to stop doing it because it's not going to work. Holy shit. him in the face, and then he fucked him up. but I was watching him fight from the fights oh this guy's hit a new place because guys do that man you'll see a fighter and they're really good He's like letting him hit him. I mean, literally let him punch him in the face

2:19:26 his confidence. what to do and when to do it and he fought when he fought damian maya and abu dhabi it was a boring Nothing. He goes, what happened? I remember screaming. I remember screaming. Dude. You wasted this fucking ticket, Lex. I remember screaming. When Anderson Silva kicked fucking Vitor. No, no, no, no. Look at it. them actually move around. Before the knockout.

2:21:41 It was. It was. In comparison See? He's still about 1,400 grams. You know who beat TRT Vitor at his prime? Hey, Vitor almost caught him in a triangle. And we're like, come on, let's do something then. Watch him look down too. Tall. the green light and then he didn't have to worry about testing, There it is. Look how he's looking at his chest, too. Anthony Pettis jumping off the kick. And then remember when Liotta

2:23:46 This is your last one. Here's a little fact for you. He kicked his fucking tooth out. Get him some with diamonds. And this is what's disrespectful. Oh, Christ. Well, you know Liotta and Anderson are partners in crime, right? It's such a different thing And a lot of times when guys would take it one? Let's try this. And Munoz. And fly to London. So is Mark Munoz. Boom. First of all, those two are the best men I know that look at that again. He's such a good guy. He's a great guy. He had a perfect opportunity. So does Mark Mooney.

2:26:14 For three years. We had done training. Just had this brutal training session at Black House. And I go, three years ago, we're in the locker room, we had done training, the fuck? Yeah, oh yeah. Listen, they said that it's going to happen, but there's no venue picked out. fight on himself. The thing is, whoever the board, I mean, I don't know what his medical condition is.

2:27:37 That's a big factor. Like Tacoma He goes No wait Indian Reservoir. He knows where he can get away with what and what they can do. Tito's good to go. I love Tito. the Huntington Beach bad boy. So if Tito came on, if Tito at the time was as big as he is and he came on your podcast, Great guy. Smart, outgoing. obviously he has all the accolades in the world but and there's the the stool or the dolly all

2:30:36 before he won the title. There was some talk about it. I like having you guys on as much as I like some scientist who flies in from France. Maybe. You'll find out if you get real answers. Right. And when Obama was doing this, Obama was a sitting president. Because he wouldn't worry about me outmaneuvering. Yeah. It seems to me it's like- With his ego, but also to say, hey, you have four years to accomplish all this.

2:33:14 Go to his Instagram. I guess Stern doesn't... No, he's not. No, Brian, he's older than you. Dude, look at the bitches in the back. I gotta start dancing more. And he's doing, he's working as He's jetting all over the world. I gotta get some tats, bro. It's the shut the fuck up You want Pimpin all over the world He has love on his right tit And he's aging

2:35:54 It's not a cheese. I believe it's the department. She doesn't enjoy him. Who's fucking her? How crazy is it it sometimes. Damn, you can get banned if you ask him questions? to sort of, that the executive power has Did you guys listen to I Admit It, the new R. Kelly 19-minute song? I don't know what happened there. He gave away all the rights to his music and talk about all flaws that he has and how many

2:38:41 I mean, I know he was with a 14 year old. No. No, no. I shouldn't be. I think it was always 16, right? In Mexico, Mexico? If it's illegal in the United States, but it's legal somewhere else. In Mexico, it's as low as 12. So it's as low as 12? God, God. Hold on. In Mexico, it's as low as 12? We're going to pull all the troops out of Afghanistan and Iraq.

2:40:33 We're neighbors. It was awesome to see you gear up for it, Thank you, man. Thank you, buddy. You don't have the whole Ari Shaffir In Phoenix. Right. Austin Dallas. TFATK.com.