Joe Rogan Experience #10043 — Brendan Schaub Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Still no main event for Madison Square Garden. Are they just waiting to announce it until after the whole Conor Khabib thing? Today's the 3rd, right? Maybe they just don't want to steal any shine from the Conor Khabib fight. Why not do that and then announce Jon Jones and Gusones and gus finn or john jones and kane if you want to but the main event

1:31 That's a very good point. Little birdie told me. We got Luke Rockwell, Chris Weidman, too. No. to bellator very fucking fascinating to me he just wrecked rory mcdonald completely wrecked Then when you go skill for skill, then size comes into play. He just carries himself like a straight badass, doesn't he? Makes sense. He's in the room. Fatter than the water bottle?

4:04 Now you have your champ who's going to enter the tournament as the title holder in the first round He couldn't see anything. He earned that shit. about all the guys that he's beaten oh he's on like a six or seven fight win streak, which includes Chris Weidman, Vitor Belfort, Yeah. They certainly could, yeah. Top three, easily. Listen, Robert Whitaker is a monster.

6:44 Giant dick. What? Yeah, Batman has a dick now. These are just fucking millennials that think they're going to rewrite history. Iron Man's probably gay. Look at this. what was... And just mad. I thought this was a big cock. Yeah. There's nothing. Yeah, it's not even a fight. He's like, let this guy pretend he's kicking my ass. Venom is like an evil Spider-Man.

9:55 Fucking kids today. We need a new one, bro. Hell yeah. I'm sure you're wonderful. Oh, dude, he's probably like, what the fuck? There's only one. Like, so normal around everybody. What was that show he was on? Someone was like, dude, you're going to be the next action hero. In college? yeah and i was like damn that dude knows what he's doing i had no idea he was a

12:22 It's him and Noguera. for that? We'll figure it out. He speaks to the raptors. Yeah. You know, they're redoing the Dress Park ride at Universal. And then there's some stuff that you're like, what? I think you have to be like 40 inches or some shit. Like a year ago. Suspect like Clink. It was the best roller coasters i've ever been on not as i've skeptical hippo eyes because when you get there their whole theme is charlie brown it's like who

15:33 Me and the family had a good time. It's called Flights of Passage, I think it is. God damn. That one, you're on a boat like Pirates of the Caribbean. You're just not getting- So he's just using his cell phone. It's the best ride I've ever been on, by far. I like the Haunted Mansion. Love it. Yeah, I was like, before I had kids, I was like, I'm not going to fuck at Disneyland.

18:21 And those, what are those fucking, those, the ones, the brown sugar churros. They get you, bro. That smoked turkey leg. Oh, dude. Yeah. There's more people that can't walk. Is everyone out of shape at Disneyland? It's a weird vibe They're just not out of shape They're ambulatory Oh dude It's a strange vibe though Ugh And I apologize to every crowd beforehand.

19:42 Dude, I felt so sick after them. This is like a fighter missing weight. the grinder I know, you thought you were going to get a deep dish and a blowjob. Two hour wait. You gotta do what you gotta do. Do you think this yeah, they get stuff it starts to work out in the cold man Yeah. Audiences are amazing. Amazing. But it's the same kind of vibe. You get Indian people, Pakistani, black, Asian, white, European.

22:29 Even if you're black, after a few generations, after like 100 years, everyone's going to be white. It's one of the real reasons why racism is so stupid. They're out there for sure. It's a stupid mindset. It's super detrimental for your view of the world, the way you interact with people. Everyone's different. I mean, we're seeing these cases now. I'm good, though.

25:32 There's not just – I mean he said – he put out – released a statement. because a written statement, It's like I can't fix it. what was going on through, I've learned I have daughters. They think, oh, he's fine. Which is deserved. Yeah. They like targets. What have you done? hundred percent when you stop and think about what Louie actually did creepy yes

29:13 And he is not handsome. It's a whole mess. When he started doing it, he wasn't really famous. And I think... I mean, and he has owned up to it i think he just you I think to expect him to just never work again seems ridiculous. louis image was like he's a pervert he's a weirdo he's always talking about jerking off like when And to find out that that guy was drugging and raping women.

32:20 I think the one's good. He's going to die any day now. Then there's Louis C.K. got lumped in with the big dogs like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein. I mean, there's – Now she's coming back out. He's usually on it. Nervous at all? Reviews are awesome. And I think this one's better than that. burt uh he records audio and he also records video. Well, the Ice House can do that for me.

35:49 But I did it differently in this other show. Yeah. We went to his house and he made me watch the recap of his last football season. Is it Brian Callen? I looked around and went, is everyone a terrorist here? In the middle of the fucking game, man, my Broncos were playing too. to get us to watch a music video that he did, which was one of the worst songs I've ever

38:12 Like what the fuck? Right now, there's a guy who's like, come on, everybody sit down, sit down. Bert did that? No, no, no. Try to watch my special. at his... Do you have family but does your wife like to go or she's sometimes she i i have her come out like every six months They fucking, you're set when you're in for this man. if he's on stage. Friday, Saturday blah and then

41:19 we had a thing called joe biden night at stitches and joes. Joe Biden, who was the former vice president. But he, so we would do Joe Biden night at the comedy store. Like you doing Joey Diaz? It's fucking great. heard it too many times so you get too close to it so then when people are going confident i knew i did everything i could do i knew i know i'm a good comic and i know i've done

43:42 You get nervous. Anyway. I'm not being some sort of Debbie Downer. Everyone went, dude, Conor Floyd, who you got, man? Conor. You do all that stuff for months and months and months and those things the only one, but You know what I think? I'll do the press conference on Thursday. You're so off it's not even funny. You don't do this. He's just going to get taken down and pounded out. You're so off, it's not even funny.

46:42 He's going to be a little hesitant. But Conor's going to crack him with hands. I think it's a fight of our lives, man. He wants to retire like the Floyd Mayweather of MMA, 27-0, beat the UFC's poster boy, and he walks off in the sunset. Yeah. And then for Conor, I think it's a legacy fight where he's coming off the Floyd Mayweather kind of train there.

48:37 you can see it. Yes, I guarantee you he gets taken down. It could be. I mean, he's got all the shit-talking Conor's done to him. Right. I do well under these circumstances. How do you respond? And he's going to be like, God, I fucking hate this guy. We don't know. stealing his belt and screaming at him and getting in his face and then starches him Unless it becomes an ego thing like you did with Al or Edson Barboza

51:19 saying like well buddy fights at 155 he used to, yeah. Yeah, and then get down to 155. This weekend's got to be on point. you're gonna have upset russians if it happens for khabib you have upset fucking irish i think I also don't like going to UFC fights. I go complete opposite of that now. Let me see the rest of the card. you can talk to DC about it, but I go, dude, Tony's back.

53:14 So he really just wants to fight Connor and then get out. I think that's the only one. He fought Matt Hamill on the Ultimate Fighter. Not on the Ultimate Fighter. As far as undefeated champions But had a weird loss back in Brazil. What do you got there, Jamie? But Brian Ortega isn't really a champion. It's a fucking shame. Yes. You just look at the caliber of opponents that he's faced from a very young age.

56:00 So, we don't know with Khabib. he's never been yeah i mean he's never been michael johnson starched dustin poirier with one punch was a tough fighter. And that's Gleason Tebow. I love Eddie. He's definitely had way tougher matchups. Conor's not on that rhythm. People think he's just going to get taken down and get crucifixed right away. That's a great fight. Alexander Volkov might be the best heavyweight on the planet.

59:09 Isn't he like 6'8 or some shit? He fucked Verdum up. I don't either. Dude. What? I mean, but bring it up, Jamie. You got anything, bro? It's very murky waters. I might be wrong. I don't think he cheated? No. I don't know. I don't know. It's very murky waters. And I think, right around New York, mean it has to be on somebody else. It could have or another anti-doping agency bringing forward an anti-doping policy violation against other athletes or support personnel.

1:02:20 Where I come from, but I don't know. And I will say this. But I'm saying if I'm the UFC, because they can't negotiate your sponsorship, it's Reebok. right afterwards said, yo, So they're not going to announce it. See, the problem is, with Sean O'Malley, whoever you are, Travis Brown, whoever, name any fighter you want. and you made the mistake how are we going to make this right? Oh, I bet. You can go fight now.

1:04:52 Yeah, he's long in the tooth. And he's been dragged through the mud, rightfully so, after hitting a woman pregnant and all that. But because of this, I've been out. but then there's people that say, having a drop of steroids and a huge vat of water. So he didn't get it out of his system in time. Here's the shitty thing, though. Yeah, I think this weekend they'll have to announce.

1:07:03 Yeah. And then he's going from that to fighting Nurmagomedov again for the title. He's a different thing. one of the things that did ronda in is that she was doing everything i mean they had her doing was the pioneer of the sport but you know they're so so much in their infancy of starting with mixed From her management to her agent, Brad. We're big ones.

1:10:00 If you're in the WWE, apparently she's unnatural at it. We've never seen anything like it. You've seen Wonderboy fight someone who's that kind of a striker. What he did to taken in a lot of damage like after the second chad mendes fight people started to question Dustin Poirier. Yeah, it's true. But there's a caveat next to that. So how the fuck is he going to make that weight again?

1:12:41 and this is one of the things that I've been learning, but he talks about it, how, you know, the weight cutting was an issue and how dangerous it is. Like, Dana goes, I don't know why they keep saying this stuff. Nate Diaz and Dustin Poirier thought it'd be great to fight at 65 for a title. Made a bet for a title. And they tried forcing the UFC's hand, and then Dana had to come out.

1:14:43 What does that mean? Shout out to Eve Edwards if that's the title file. Let's do it. It's insane not to announce someone. DC is supposed to be fighting Brock motherfucking Lesnar for the heavyweight title. Can't what? Light heavyweight. Back up the brink trucks. That's a big payday for me. That is a fight, right? Stipe versus John Jones at heavyweight, I'll see you on the other side. And I'm fucking retiring. That is a fight, right?

1:17:35 That gets my dick hard now. To me, it's bigger. Stay strong, DC. Do you remember when he came back against Ovin St. Preux? Loses both belts. He only lost to Matt Hamill, and that was a bullshit loss. Look at the guys he's fought, too. Fought murderers. And the way he what he's done. He's never lost. He only lost to Matt Hamill and that was a bullshit loss.

1:19:20 After he got his arm broken, Conor McGregor We'll see what happens next, but I don't think GSP is next. Well, at 70, it's an amazing fight, too. What makes you say that? What makes you say that? Call him up. You're on air. You know, he might actually be trying to make 55. Well, I'll tell you what, in terms of pay-per-view, Four-year layoff. Four-year layoff, comes back.

1:21:36 That's a fight. I mean, would he necessarily be faster at 55? Yeah, but he said he had a real hard time keeping that weight on. Colitis? What else is Formiga. Just how hard he can hit? I didn't get thought about it started to have Now they're in cahoots, right? It's legal in some sort of strange loophole-y way. No, December card in Toronto is Brian Or Nunez happening. Now the December card in Toronto? No, December card

1:24:19 Eubanks, what? it was in flux and then when I went to look for it... some nerve whoever put this together. One fight in the UFC. Well, this is Brett Okamoto. Wow. He put that Britney Spears. I'm thinking Stipe Jones, DC, something that would just blow my hair back. Listen, man, I don't want to be a promoter Just freaking When are you not working? Yeah, I'm at like 25 minutes, 24 minutes.

1:27:29 Hanging with the family. Sober October. I got an extra one of these things. All right, I'm in. really drink or smoke or anything. Like, Stanhope's the big one, yeah? He's got to go to a doctor. He's a really nice guy to me. Some have. I 100% get it. Yeah. say oh like the one of the things that people said about um strange times like why don't you wear

1:29:53 You couldn't go on stage with a fucking tank top on. I know. Do a lot of body weight work. specialist and she gets she's a strong lady and she gets that fucking elbow in your back she's a and the areas Was she dripping wet with sweat? or you get the soft Asian girl and it's not a good massage. know the Russian Olympic team I was reading something about Russian athletes

1:31:49 You should have him on. But once they go here, I don't want to... professionally and actually played football. I hear you. Yeah, I love that guy. That's cool, man. I'll help out however I can. oh Ray Borg have you seen Ray Borg and his son And so someone goes, Shab, look into this. I will pay for your medical bills, Ray. I got you, brother. You got all emotional.

1:35:10 Do you know Ray? I'll donate all the money I make from my six shows in Utah to his medical bills. That's a beautiful place too. Yeah. That's beautiful. Well, imagine the amount of time that it must be taking up to not just train, I'm terrified of the world now. I also, if I have friends who are shitty dads, I barely hang out with them anymore. You know, there's a, there's a transition to being a father that some people resist where it becomes a primary focus of your life. It becomes a big, big, big deal. But if you

1:38:06 You got a fucking tail. You got to save your loads, too. Damn, dude. Yeah. She was like busy talking Just fill up the thing. Oh my god. And he goes, we have magazines down there. Other dudes loads and lube Dude I felt like it was embarrassing too Nah, you good, man. Enjoy that. their own babies running around. One doctor got arrested. Spread his seed.

1:41:14 Oh. Yeah. been a bunch of these guys throughout history i think they should test every one of those guys. Wow. are anti-men, listen, I swear I get it. That does not surprise me like, you know, we're just trying to Old ass. Fuck no. Back it up. You can get wigs like that, dude. What, do you just want your head to be free? Really? I would absolutely get a crew cut.

1:44:46 It's an illusion. The first time I shaved my head back when I was fighting. for a jujitsu tournament and i was fixing my hair in the mirror, and I was like what the fuck man me he came he saw one of my sets came in the back and you and brian were back then i was like i'm You know, the guy who does, I go, literally all the time. Give me a question, name a show. And he's like, you really do? I go, all the time. He goes, no, you don't. I go, literally all the time.

1:46:33 I'm like, I don't know if that's for me, man. He came backstage. Yeah. Yeah. See,. Oh, Jerry O'Connell. Yeah. That's right. He came backstage. He's nice and he's funny as hell. Yeah, it does. I changed it quickly. That's how I got into that stuff. on camera, so they try to be extra mean on camera. It's cool seeing Jerry O'Connor, who's been in the industry forever, but then Andy Cohen,

1:48:38 He's a monster. With her and him? Yeah. She was like, I can't believe you're leaving. Seems like a real friendly guy. Me, too. You know what's amazing? Maybe. Your whole body feels better? talking, you know, with Neil Reardon. Yeah. Everyone swears by it. Dude, Mel Gibson's dad So now they just take exosomes, and they put exosomes with platelet-rich plasma and they

1:51:21 My rotator cuff tear is gone. I was trying to put it off. when I went to go take down Travis, all a while ago and there's one the, what do you call them? Yeah, I know. I should do it again. Yeah, they're doing – well, one of the things they do for discs, they do stem cells as well, I just got to make it a priority. Got a comedy special coming out in January.

1:53:29 Yes. Okay, location, San Diego. you know, It's not that I listen to them, I don't want them to hold resentment toward, That's the number one problem. There's room for everybody. You know, they have a bit. stage 100 so i have to do those I'll do the Comedy Works in Denver. That's great, too. Yeah, Red Van almost got killed walking back to the hotel.

1:57:16 had my show in the main room i did skylar stone show in the main room and then i did the or and Does he use it? I mean, who would use it? Chris Robinson. Yeah, that's it. Sorry, Brian. Sorry, B. Yeah. I mean, who would use it? Like how many people will have a piano in their house actually play the piano? I'd have people over and play it. Do you ever think

1:58:35 By myself in New York i like that stuff i was thinking about all sorts of other things i was going over my act while it Yeah. That was good because they- Mm-hmm. Yeah. It seems to work. Spaceship energy. That's a new one, bro. Doesn't seem to bother them? It does work. Spaceship energy, bro. Spaceship energy. Spaceship energy. I was shooting that Bravo show.

2:00:23 Just ordered the prime rib. Trying to embrace the New York vibe. has ever talked about it. And they rap the entire time. So I thought, you know what? And I walked out. Nick Kroll had a great thing. He was in a war zone or Hamilton? Well, I mean, she was 18 too. I thought it was going to be good. the tree like this sucks otherwise they're torturing you. The worst. Yeah. That's the worst, man. When's the last time you saw a good movie?

2:03:16 Hell yeah, LeBron James is in it. was on usa and they brought over to netflix that shit on net, now it's on Netflix? Yeah, it's on Netflix. Straight up? And it is straight up. It's intense. I watched the first one. What? Ooh. You're the second person who told me now. You've seen that, right? That's what's really crazy. I know. It's so old school. I mean, obviously, I've learned from you.

2:05:17 Get it fucked up in a row. with my agent. It's during the below the belt, my podcast. And it became a real issue. Yeah. When I was doing radio, I'd be like, you're just not an interesting person. They have the biggest egos. Dallas! Hi! We're here with the weather and had me read though and i went Is she Mexican or South American? I would do that radio station.

2:08:17 Look at the booty. Her body's off the charts. She got 1.3 million. Oh, my God. Correct. Rich nerds, though. Yeah, right? if you ask he what he might have You know what? Whoa! There must be something wrong with his brain. Dude, I would give it all up. Breaking news. You know what I'm saying? That's what I heard. His name's Jay-Z. That's what I heard. Yeah, but people get tired of that one. There's someone out there tired of fucking Beyonce, you know what I'm saying?

2:11:09 If you like it, We done? Let's figure it out, man. October 27th, Volkan Ozdemir versus Johnson. Yeah. Wait a minute. Oh, I'm in town. That's a scary one for Cowboy. Raquel Pennington returns against Jermaine Durandamy. video for Joey Diaz saying she's going to kick his We're locked up. Alright, that's it. Woo!