Joe Rogan Experience #10095 — Brendan Schaub Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Fight week. And I gotta go. Because when things go crazy, DC and I always grab each other. That's what I'm saying. I got tested yesterday. The state just has real rigid guidelines, apparently. Listen, I had Elon on the podcast prison where they tested these prisoners and And Elon goes hard in the paint too. I mean, he's probably making a joke. Because someone else brought it up to me today.

2:31 I looked hard. Yeah. were worried about. It's not what we thought get it all wrapped up and figure out what it is in terms of like what the treatment If you don't, it should be up to me if I want to wear it. That's crazy. Well, Elon's not a doctor. I'm going to listen to that guy. We got lucky. Everything's bad, man. Join the Thick Boys Bike Club, man.

5:05 Do they go on the road in the sun? But I'd still rather get COVID than get bit by a rattlesnake. Alright, well. They all suck. I'm like, oh, dude, come on. So like if they kill a rabbit with their venom it actually helps digest the rabbit through his arm did you watch that thing i sent you about Alex Smith, that quarterback? Did you see it? I started watching. I couldn't.

7:00 He's still under contract. And even after then, you're probably not going to have motion in your foot. Oh, damn. either with a patella tendon graft, hamstring graft, or a cadaver. I've had a patella tendon So my thought is that they're always coming up with new ways to fix things. so good, people are gonna get their good legs removed than six million bucks. A lot more. But Alex

9:17 No, I did not. He has you blocked on Instagram? At least two years ago. But it's so strange. let let anything go oh is this the thing that talks about i did see this yeah it's great dude He goes, I hope he breaks my nose so I can get it fixed. way. I think yeah. It's a scary fight for anybody. You're snorkeling and you're in hurricane waters and you got to get past the initial part.

11:51 And the other thing is Tony gets hit. Lando's good, man. He cracks, dude. People say that sometimes, but I don't think they really mean it. That's why I think I love Khabib, and I want Khabib-Tony, but this fight to me is more I agree. There's a photograph that shows the list of the last nine or ten people that Tony's fought. Everybody looks dead. Because they're both such phenomenal wrestlers.

14:02 As far as if you want to make money, Gaethje's a good dog, but we don't really know He's got leg locks. You can't keep up. He's got everything. And then a jab comes out of nowhere. You're like, what the fuck is he doing? I can't wait. From top to bottom, UFC 100. The King of 135. I think he might be the champ someday. Well, if you look at the Zabit fight, he was fucking Zabit up in that third round.

16:27 This is so... He's like, oh, yeah? God damn it. Pettis versus, oh my God. Oh, my God. Well, when you're trying to jam all this goodness into one event the UFC event that I did And that was the one where Gilbert knocked out Damian Maia. That means, you know, I love Gilbert, but for Woodley to take that fight, There's some sort of a fight for Masvidal.

18:38 Well, there's only two guys who'd be bigger. GSP fights Masvidal. At 170. Good Lord. Really? That's right. Exactly. Dude, I'm pointing Masvidal, Conor. That was months ago. Yeah, I had him on literally like a week after that, and he was like, oh, Conor's the fight. Masvidal's a big fella. Is that what they said? to the UFC and you see the pop that Masvidal

21:42 But Masvidal's one of going to give him some big fights. GSB You can't He got fucked. That's how he got on the map. And both guys, like if both guys win, they've got a real argument to fight for the title again if That's a great fight. Did he? Oh, Chiesa's very good. 70 is nasty. Has Dos Anjos fought Leon? I mean, it really seems like Leon and Stephen Thompson is the way to go.

25:16 Robbie's at 11. God, what a fucking division. He's shredded at 55. What do you got here at 45? No. That's a good point. Every 10 pounds, just open it up. Is it nice? Yeah, I mean, where does it go? There's a lot of stuff on there. He's a beast. Oh, Dan Ige. He's improving every fight. Woo! Because Stipe can't fight right now. It's a torn retina and you know, it's supposed to be healing and he's doing his best to heal. And

29:49 take the kelvin fight i think remember that when short hurt his other eye yeah i think so yeah he Nobody wants to fight Francis. He's trained hard. And he's so big. You're talking about a guy who's cutting a Conan movie. Yes. He's so powerful, man. And he's so big. Insane power. Nope, not built like that. He doesn't have the same amount of low body fat or lean

31:44 between the way Overeem fought him and the way Overeem fought Francis, Overeem is a legit elite striker. Now, the difference between the way Overeem fought him and the way Overeem fought Francis, The fucking head? Left hook. Paid the price, though. I don't think he saw it coming, He was like, dude, it was just too fast. Which I think he does. It's got to be crazy. I can't wait for that fight.

33:51 Yeah. Is he allowed to go to the gym and train? They're giving people tickets for shit. I wasn't sure if it was the actual show. And I get on the descent. I go, no way. I think like over 50 days. I went, I've been out here every single day for the past 50 days. here, then we'd have a problem. you're probably right he goes it's not my go, so you're giving me a ticket?

36:18 And they started laughing. I was there They're not open yet. You got to use. so paranoid. It's so weird. I go, but you can't be my friend. Bunch of bitches. Sucks. You're part of the club. It's crazy to me the news isn't held accountable for anything. They make money off of advertising. They're about that size, though. And they kill thousands of bees.

39:20 There's a horrendous video of these Asian hornets that show up at this beehive and like someone shoved a shoe under his skin. It's on, I think it's on the History Channel. boat constrictor in the forest and then they put masks on so it can't bite their neck and kill them Well, they want to see how painful it is. They had like soap. They're like, let's spray the

41:25 A monitor lizard. I'd be like, fuck this game. Well, why don't they put a wedge in its mouth like you do with a pit bull? They pay to do it. a white guy thing to do. This is like what Because it's insane, man. I was telling you this off air, that the guy DM'd me because I keep giving the show praise. See how bad those pigeons hurt, bro. I don't think it was a rattlesnake, but he came across a snake.

43:27 Like hold it. I need that knife. it's silent. You fall down, it's on, dog. With a rattlesnake, I don't know what the fuck you need. Pictures? Their feet are fucking fat. Because when I saw them, I'm like, well, here's your chance. But even a house cat, like, I mean, you ever fucked with a house, even those cats fuck you up. Problems. that's what's this for bobcat 19 pounds so what it does for a bobcat? It says 19 pounds, so I don't know.

45:54 Coyotes killed a girl in Canada a few years back, a 19-year-old lady. I'm nervous about how weird people are going to be Like, when I get my coffee at 10 speed, you ain't come in without a mask. i've never been at jackson i've been to Jacksonville. What's it like? It's nice down there. Most of it, I think, they didn't open up where Miami and Palm Beach are.

48:07 Huntsville, Wise Guys, Salt Lake, Nashville. Probably consider it a restaurant, right? More, it'd be more, wouldn't it be labeled a restaurant more than anything? Yeah. So that's what's going to happen at these clubs? I'm pretty sure they did their open mic. they are open yep 65 capacity that's not bad hey that's better than nothing customers will be asked

50:10 Customers are not required to wear a mask. I mean, I don't know what I'm doing. They're already sold out. He's not, he's not, he's safety first. Yeah, they showed up at his house. When is the 9th? It's always weird. I was like, I know, He can't dial it back. I've got so much time with my kids, started a bike club. Flying will fuck you up, man. Yeah.

53:07 I definitely miss writing new material. I could have written. I mean, you can make it good for you. I feel better. We went over the list with Hinchcliffe yesterday. And this also shows you how little power governors have, too. And I had all these comments. Have you ever thought about mental health and going outside and what that does for those kids?

55:53 Yeah, once they've figured it out, people know what to do and what not to do, You know? like for cigarette smoke and car And this is, man. I'll fucking move. I will. I'd probably go to Texas. He's like, that place was a shithole, but best restaurant I ever ate at. Can't even tell if they're smiling. I don't know if that's true. Yeah, underlying health conditions.

58:28 Just playing. Three times. Look at him thriving. He actually got tested three days ago. yeah, he's gotta wear a mask. Gloves too. Oven mitts. He's fine though. Look at him thriving. athletes. You think that shit has a chance Yeah, non-stop. These phases are lame as fuck. I don't think they're detailed enough. Did you read the whole list? Room service.

1:00:28 No public weigh-ins. Oh, it would be great. It's going to be giant. Look, there's so many people that are out of jobs. All right, coming over. He goes, yeah, by some fucking asshole. People are just bored as fuck. For what? In America. One in five are starving? One One in five right now, I just read. Where? In America. Suicide will be up. This is awful, man. I wonder how this is going to affect the governor politically.

1:03:27 I think his poll numbers are actually high. That's the thing. grace for the day is those kids going to school, going to daycare. stuck with the kids, and everyone's Do you think he's looking at it politically? biden sexually assaulted her and i'm voting for biden anyway just to get trump out of office i It's all nonsense man when you when you look at all these politics you're like, oh, this is all a bunch of nonsense

1:05:56 Have you seen that? prepared? Because they're trying to play gotcha. Before everyone jumps in, I almost was saying that it almost seems like she was working What did you just say? they're worried about the coronavirus coming to the country and Trump's not going to let Are you going to take that back? I know, but he goes too hard. That guy's a fucking writer for the Washington Post.

1:08:16 She's like, you ready? Do they need to hire your boy Elon Musk to get on that? Jamie, we're just playing. Oh, here it is. travel restrictions. I noted what was the intent behind those travel restrictions, which Does The New York Times want to take back I'll leave you with those questions and maybe you'll have ask her a question and that's what you ask her.

1:10:59 Yeah, he got served. You think it was a softball? I don't know if he's a cunt. and now they're going to be a little bit of friends because they definitely play both sides of the game. What I read is she didn't work for Fauci. And what is it? God, Fauci. All you want to do is shut down everything nonstop? It might be something that returns every year in some new form,

1:13:19 who tested negative for the coronavirus and then tested positive, that these were some, It's not like a doctor at all. Yeah. Denver, Yeah. Well, Utah, or was it Montana? Texas, dude. Yes, great place to work out. is a great club my favorite people yeah they're uh that salt lake city club is fucking his brother You can go there at 5 o'clock in the afternoon.

1:15:24 Real easy. They got good shopping out there get fat there easy. It's so nice. Real easy. Nice people. I'm telling you I'm good. but I'm not going to go there it comes back in the fall and i don't i don't totally understand this when they're going to I mean, the stories you've seen in the news. Now, New York says hold my mask. New York says hold my mask. People are dying like crazy stay open. Isn't that crazy? Now New York says

1:17:19 It's so weird. He's going to have to let it sit out. The end. What to say? oh how's that amazing really oh it's good really is that a series or is that a series on amazon It's so good. The lawyer? The lady with the poppies. When she shoots Homeboy. You can't ruin it for them, Brendan. Good for you. He grows tits on his head. Dude, Adam Sandler movies are...

1:19:51 Big Daddy. I wonder why. It's all like, but it's funny. many of those movies I haven't seen in forever. Bob Barker? Drama. It's a fucking great movie. It's one of the only fiction books I've ever even bothered to go through, but I listened The stuff they do, like the trials, if you will. They should do a series like Wild Wild Country. It's deep, dude.

1:22:21 It's so fucking good. Fascinating. And as he started uncovering things, he's like, holy shit. why i don't know after that that whole time period you know in the the late 60s and 70s i I'm like, oh, great. And they probably did it while he was in jail. They let him right out of jail. He's never killed anybody. Yeah, he was a different one. I mean, back then when Manson was alive.

1:25:51 And they- Before the 60s, the 50s, there was nothing like that. Some of it's probably a good time. and avoided a pandemic. Woodstock still went on. angels were there stabbing people and that was called the hong kong flu and then that's right The other story is it was something that was in a lab and it was leaked. What's Elon I take my son to the gym over there, Jeff Foley's gym.

1:28:30 Yeah. What's that? You're going to be smart as fuck. No need to talk anymore. I don't want that. when we're talking about, A hole in your fucking head, Let's see. it'll work even better i go better he goes yes better so it'll work even better. I go, better? He goes, yes, better. You're paralyzed from the neck down. So it's going to be some blocky fucking, you know, like an asshole.

1:31:24 I'm going to wait it out. You've got to wear a football helmet everywhere, but you can see the moon. jigillion dollars. I don't think it will be, So he was sort of saying, you're going to have access to so much more productivity. When you talk to the guy. No, it's your daddy. It's Elon Musk, dude. gonna rent a house come to me quit listening to people dude you're a fucking billionaire

1:33:59 And so I said. No. Nope. Yeah. Yeah. Elon Musk plugs, man. And Trump, first of all, just shave your head. Dude, I like the way I look. She's cut my hair. But that shit started going, son. Who knows with Brian? That's what I told him. Buzz it down, baby. Buzz it down, dude. barber. No, his shit looks nice right now. No, his shit looks nice right now.

1:36:33 You're wearing a hat right now. you fought. Oh, yeah. You used to get crew cuts. Because low when it's shaved. It's cute as fuck. right? He goes, I'm the fastest kid in the world. I go, We're not as fast as this, and I'll play a video of I show him horrible videos of snakes. Oh my god. I'm the fast boy in the world. socks you can buy where He's a specialized pro, and me and him go on the trails, and that's why I've been training

1:38:50 Before I go to sleep at night, I'll go through the trail in my head. The quarantine. Oh, that looks terrifying. I like when it's steep as fuck. Well, it's no pounding, too. How many miles? You fix it. So where if they get a flat, there's a liquid in that fills the hole. It's weird. just started, I mean, hundreds and thousands of messages of people on their bikes.

1:40:51 Well, once we go back to normal, every city I go into, that Saturday, we're meeting at their top trail. Because everyone can but with bikes. Wow. I like it. I like it. No liability. close my eyes the night before i go through the entire trail. What does Callan think about the homeless problem he's got near his place? And as we're passing this, on the left is a beautiful house, probably a $5 million house.

1:42:33 It's one of my favorite places on earth, if not my favorite. And they don't know what to do. Those are great choices. Yeah. My kid goes to school over there, so I got to figure it out. best comedy clubs yeah la jolla and the store in in hollywood yeah the best comedy club and the months, People aren't going to put up with it. because it's devastating to the economy.

1:44:57 It's all Newport Beach. But Republican Beach is shut down. It's just disgusting. What you need is the military. have exhibited the fact they're objective and reasonable and ethical and moral. and if they shut down again, I would probably have to leave. Every fucking night. Yeah, he's down. Right. and that their governor is Democrat, and a lot of the reasons why.

1:47:31 Yeah, I wouldn't mind Reno. I just, I don't know what, I mean, we could perform there. Just tell people where I am. Yeah, something around 500 seats every Friday, Saturday night. Yeah. But yeah, I would do something like that. Madison Square Garden's almost sold out. not a homo joke about going to the theater with your buddy. New York City's still-

1:49:43 Yeah. I hope. They're rolling now. For the last month and a half, it's been stagn dude. Is it? Things are kind of rolling. They're rolling now. There's going to be places we're going to be allowed to go for sure. Every city I go to. alligator. 100%. It's on camera? Yeah, but then someone sent me a video of a guy running over one, Some boys are thick.

1:51:49 Crush his fucking head. It's not good. And he is. All right, man. He's so fat. Five-year-old driving an SUV on a Utah freeway. He pulled over. going to buy a Lamborghini. This is like a creepy as shit. That's a weird, that's like a It started going around during the NFL draft. Of course. You mean Adele got healthy and you fat fucks want to stuff your face with pizza and get COVID and blame it on us?

1:55:09 I want that plus size model thing to carry over to men. Not only that, there'd be no support. You're so amazing. Yeah. Andy Stump said it fucking sucked And he said It's so unrealistic Yeah they're jumping R8 from building to building Andy I'll watch fight movies and be like, oh, get the fuck out. Yeah, like if you saw Warrior. That would never happen.

1:57:09 Please don't ruin it for me. Don't ruin it. You're like, holy fuck, dude. You know they're practicing and that all the best guys were on one team Oh, yeah. He doesn't give a fuck. It's interesting. I mean, I always point to the fact Mirko Krokop on the same card, Yeah, I did win. Henry Cejudo beat Marlon Marais, We don't know where he's at physically.

2:00:42 I see him getting down in rounds to Dominic. Dominic's impossible to hit, man. And his movement is pretty substantial. The best. It's a winner, man. And Henry Cejudo starts slow. I see him getting down in rounds to Dominic. If it's Dom in kind of that fashion, I don't know, man. If he wins this one, there are. Yeah, he's for sure one of my favorites.

2:01:39 Stipe. That's what he said. Oh, did he? Get that eye better. I rewatched that first fight. Agree. Am I? Three to one? Because they're basing off the Overeem fight, 2-1 underdog and a 3-1 favorite. Oh, there you go, 3 all, I think in the media, especially MMA media, we all went two to one. Two to one. Two to one. Like, you went hard on him. It was a big event and I think the overwhelming

2:04:22 No because he didn't quit he got fucked up i mean Yeah. He does hot takes, dude. He was like, how dare you? on a regular basis that are hardcore fans of it that are really It's the worst thing ever. He just thinks it's like we shouldn't, like the UFC having a fight's insane. I think they should be doing it. Is that better than the prick? And the other one, they can tell whether or not you have a current infection or you recovered from an infection.

2:08:05 very quickly, 15 minutes with the antibody test. It's not even irresponsible to let them Yes. How about Dana said reporters called in and complained to the Newsom, to the government, I'd love to hear that list. I wonder see but the You've got to be willing to take the information in, though. It's a weird disease. I can't believe he blocked me. Dude.

2:10:46 which is really kind of funny. Now the show is bigger than anything that's on ESPN. And the show keeps growing. got an agenda. Someone's censoring you. Die in peace. Yeah. The two of them together. Like, Paige had it on her that it's going to be the hottest fight ever. Ever. I don't want Paige to lose any weight, though. I sent him a message on Instagram.

2:12:37 Yeah. That's his profession. The nicest guy in the world, dude. The way he threw him around, too, I was so impressed at how he got out of that arm bar the way he explodes out of stuff like really explosive stud really Seven people watched. Popped his shit? And you're like, that can't be good. Yeah. he got up weird too like his left leg is shot right there. Watch again on Instagram.

2:15:20 Yeah, that's true. Think how much that dude's grown since Ultimate Fighter. Yeah. PFL He needed to learn how to really strike. He did fight in the UFC. Didn't go bad for him in the UFC, but,'s another guy that's sort of developing on the job. I have so many good memories from that. It was weird. the Ultimate Fighter, man. He's so funny on Instagram.

2:17:46 What night? Clover Teixeira and your boy. I'm like, that's weird. Oh, I was trying to get the card. The 13th. So look at Smith, Teixeira. I like that fight a lot. Alex Hernandez is no joke, man. It is at bantamweight. That's right. Who's Felipe Lins? I don't. And they're like, all right. Yeah, that Wednesday card. We can learn about the Wednesday card? Yeah, that's the Wednesday card.

2:20:23 That's a good fight. Claude Gigadelia. It's a fun card. Okay. Calgino. Calgino? What should we get for he doesn't listen no he just just powers through it yeah well it's just drunk eddie yeah there's Oh, yeah. He doesn't give a fuck. He's not scared of Yeah. Callan will go for sure. Especially if I go find the kids coming over here. Not a bad move at all.

2:22:48 They've already had one cult go there. He's pretty Hollywood. I saw one said, your special's been on Jerry Seinfeld's. This is a new hour, though. And I love Jerry. Oh, really? Yeah. Has a bad special. If you get tore right now, you're talking about a different level. You told me this from the get-go. You keep moving, dude. You know. I don't need people to tell me.

2:26:06 Everybody's being clunky as fuck. I think that it's going to be interesting because everyone is going to be stale. We're going to be hugging each other. 100% of the money to the wait staff. Those fucking people didn't do anything wrong. It's a, I think there's light at the end of the tunnel for everybody man i hope so but this fucking governor needs to open

2:28:21 I love that video. but he's a little over... He has too much of an interest I said, I guarantee 10,000 plus show up. Oh, yeah. Illinois as well? Yeah. so many people are losing their businesses, I'll walk around with a fucking t-shirt that says, I'm good. Oh, dude. But the people that were like, they encouraged snitching or whatever. That's what you get.

2:31:03 That's right. Did we find out if that was true or not? He's done it before. I mean, he's not as popular as he probably was three years ago. He's going live tomorrow or today. What do you think happens to him? Yeah, he was let out early. And for what? Who's getting sued by the House. But the thing is, He's not gonna win. I talk for a living. Just because they want Trump out.

2:34:20 If they're accusing a man that you don't like. There's some smart ones out there. He's being real. Oh, is that what it is? It's like that Hollywood actor, that Indian guy who's in the Marvel movie, who's just He's just saying it because his wife has an underlying condition, so he's worried about And then they get support online. by the way. in New York City. Because all these people that want to think that it's okay to see that obesity is the number one factor in people in New York City.

2:36:18 And then COVID comes and goes, oh, this is too easy. size. I would love to see that and see Everyone's slim. You go to high school now, every kid gets a letter from his mom. Billy. I can't be their friend. Nope, I can't. You can't be my foxhole, dude. Be cool man you got through it bro Yeah. If you get pneumonia. My son got pneumonia too. You would think the world's

2:39:32 Why? I doubt that's true. Those who have tested positive for COVID-19 are no longer eligible for military service. I'm not buying that. Yeah, he did. You kind of fucked them. No one listened to him in the first place. And then even Cuomo came out and said, what I've realized, if we're doing the lockdown, it's spreading inside the families. They did nothing.

2:42:14 have to avoid murder wasps and rattlesnakes, I know, but when did they change their name? The idea of killer bees is that they would swarm you. But here's the thing. It's a great name. I never heard that term. They didn't call it a murder horn. Oh, good. Is that where it is? Some asshole probably had them as a pet and they're not even breeding. We're just looking for something to be. Right now. Oh, so it's not even relevant? They've been chilling? Two of them were discovered. Some asshole probably had them as a pet and they're not even breeding.

2:44:19 If that becomes an issue, like they start flying into people's houses and stinging people. We're funny. There's a shitload of people die by rattlesnakes. Every day. Oh, I ran over one once running with my dogs. rattlesnake i mean thick like my wrist you know what bothers me is i'll see the snake and i'll so dangerous you have no idea there's so many dingbats out there, dude.

2:46:35 skin like leather, She goes, a what? I go, a rattlesnake. 10 feet up. She goes, she takes her old school hat. She goes, a what? Probably ready to die. softball mitt face. like hoping grow up without For riding that gay bike. Dead serious. Is it? It was hours ago though we forgot I'm weirded out doing commentary with no audience Spoke in. I hope it happens.

2:48:47 Love you, too, brother.