Joe Rogan Experience #1011 — Tom Papa Transcript

Transcript

0:00 We're gonna go live. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. My good friend Justin Wren, who's been on fucking nicest guy you ever want to meet. Ooh, look at that. Yeah. And he's puffed on a cigar. Yeah. Come on. But here's my thought. But, like, who is profiting from this? He's a little worker. And the comedy club was balling out of control. They make money. It wasn't purely like, screw the man.

4:24 You essentially have a partnership with the ice house. And I don't mean a partnership like I have an ownership in it, but I feel like there's, And it's good for everybody. like uh hilarity's in cleveland right i love that club i love the owner amazing place nick's the And he's got a really good business going there. There's a difference in the feel of the audience.

6:21 Yeah. shitty gigs to appreciate to appreciate the nice ones oh absolutely every gig is good yeah even the 30 years. Watch him roll I used to be good at it. Those little- And then you just go like that. It's so advanced. But the ritual of that. That seems kind of corny to me. You should get one of them aluminum ones from prison I do not. Is that over there?

9:53 He was a really rich guy. He would just chomp it, chomp it, chomp it. I can bite it off. You do feel like a big shot with a cigar. Here is a tissue. girl with like an open blouse like like wearing glasses, like smoking a cigar. Yeah, with like those cheerleader type socks. Yeah, yeah. Thanksgiving. the function that crazy people have in your life they're valuable but you don't want to be around

12:49 you know, I was almost in tears. I was like, I can't live with fight. So very weird sort of dynamic, it's very, Don't let them fucking beat you down, yell shit at you. I am not good with that kind of tension. but you could calm the altercation down. Like a child. the problem is when you say that, Well, it's also like when people want people to do things. There's the mindset of you wanting a result.

16:15 that part down and think about the person across from you yeah it opens up the whole world but it's nobody does it perfect nobody does it perfect well it's not only that you they don't does it perfect. Nobody does it perfect. Well, it's not only that they don't do it perfect. And that's why it's like, I was watching this interview with Nate Diaz, UFC fighter.

17:41 Nobody likes to see themselves from a long time ago because we're all a work in progress. I took the first band off immediately. I'm turning commie as I get old. Act out of kindness. Right. Yeah. You've got to flow. I really do. I mean, and all the other differences that we have like left and right and ideologies and it's like how can you Good morning, Tom.

21:06 i can talk to him i was like yes you can that doesn't mean any so what so that's what he went Yeah. We're going to do some hot dogs or whatever? And isn't it more effective if you are really politically minded and really want your, you really love Hillary and you love what she stood for and you want that. You have to vote in the primaries, so you have to be registered.

23:09 regardless of what you think about Hillaryary whether they supported her or not you you'd have to look at it objectively and say well she's a deeply flawed candidate i mean she had a lot of issues And why do you care about how these people live? And he's like We're talking about reality. you know 24-hour news programs and stuff it's like rooting for the bears or rooting for the

25:21 Oh, my God. Right. He's a Patriots guy. that's just the way it goes but i really feel like you got to go through life and should be he should be allowed to do something kind he should be allowed to you should be allowed terrible things that he's done in the past In general, right. But when you get to 70, no. And with a bunch of people that hate him.

28:02 It's scary. But just recently. Yeah. He goes, listen, dumbass. They came up to him. are you guys doing? You can't do this. That's insane. He was? Don't you think? It's nobody's spot. I know. He fixes things himself. Is that racial profiling or is that racist resource unless they're criminals right unless they're criminals while there are people who were

32:41 changes their life the one thing that we absolutely take for granted is they give it away Is that amazing? I do. It's one of those. And here's the thing. It's not, right? Yeah, with fecal matter all over the fucking room. It's like the most un-ergonomic thing ever created. I'm not doing that. And then you got a bath with these two fucking car wash hoses.

35:10 Yeah, why? Yeah? It's like to keep it clean the whole time. These people are eating the wrong foods. You guys are talking about shit. What does that mean? A Fatburg the size of two football pitches. Does that mean like a soccer stadium? Yeah, it's stuck in this pipe. Oh, my God. Look at this. 420 pounds. A fat bird the size of two football pitches.

36:35 Was found in London sewers. the pipes under there. No. Dude. I was having Because they grow and they continue to grow where the pipe is and they crack it. it's the happiest take so many vitamins it's the happiest root I ever saw. That root went hog wild. It was happier in your toilet than it was out in nature. I'm so happy. You live there? What you need to do is grow in a shit pipe.

39:20 You hear about Harry? Yeah, true. And he could be out there in the dirt and occasionally peak up a little. A deer's going to eat the little saplings. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. A deer's coming. I'm making a break for it. A deer's gonna eat the little saplings. He got too big. I was telling him, you gotta stay Harry got too big. You know what I mean?

41:29 Yeah, I'd have to really think that one through, man. Yeah. life not as like do you have enough to eat do you have friends around you that you care about are Yeah, we're going to go. There is no moving up. You can get a job, job and you can work and you're part of this community yeah you do whatever you do whether And then we start thinking like that.

43:46 get more like then i then you're with your friend on his private chat you're like oh well i don't Oh, my God. Look at that. You know how they say it? Yeah, but what's enough, I guess, is the thing. That's when you're balling. These live concerts just can't do it. They don't hire any third world help. And it's not because of a lack of opportunity. That's not good either.

46:36 this is a fucking very hippie way to look at things, It seems kind of mean, Joe Rogan. Strangling. And people bigger than me that are better than me, they just run right through me like I don't exist. It's just a learning thing. because you didn't know it was there before. themselves how could i've done that better how could i've handled this better yeah it's there's a there's a real it's like if you can get rid of the the uh the the ego and the

49:31 Yeah, it's humbling. Yeah. Your mind wants to gravitate towards softness and the couch and the easy road and naps and Because it's warm and comfortable there is that great it is great isn't that great it is great it is it's like oh it's just like this and they catch fish, and they have a whole setup. Right or whatever the rate is. Yeah, I'm obviously exaggerating. Yeah, but I don't think I'm exaggerating by much

52:22 Yeah. River in Siberia and these people makes you confront like what is life about? Yeah. And then also these two questions, right? The change in these kids who are just on their phones and just in this tough city world and there's no money and it's like this desperate. make it work yeah and when you kind of make it work it kind of chews up the screw a little bit

55:46 survived, your soul, go see a comedy show. I mean, shaky and weird right next to the battery all the time yeah is not good. I want the biggest condo. I don't think it's impossible. Their feet start hurting. know and i watch people walk their dogs or run you know there's like that's why i texted you about They're trying to get up the thing like a broken down robot.

58:35 And I sound like some goddamn infomercial. You got to do. I was thinking about that because I just listened to it. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, how did I go five miles? 70% running. I'm pulling? Yeah. If I could get up it all the way with a really slow, steady pace. and then I charge. other way it's a killer hill paved but it's killer and uh i was thinking i should do because i'll go

1:01:42 It'll be harder, but do it three times? to my own advice with the running. that have been texting me about this I learned about them from Mark Sisson. Really very smart and very well educated guy. it's like your feet being in a cast Right. I think that's how you say it, Neil Brennan got it. in a good way. I think that five months ago really yeah No, like beer can ankles. No for whatever reason I never had that I did so much of my youth kicking things

1:05:35 i run up a like a trail with rocks and shit where i have to jump from one step stone to another and How far, like, a flat run do you go? You get excited when you're out there. I see a person just, when you would take off and you're jumping from You know when I do that when I run? You're not having a heart attack. Even smoking it, vaping it in particular.

1:07:26 A lot of weightlifters smoke weed before they lift weights. move my arm like this? He believes that that's where it originated from. Chillum is, like, a hit of hash. Because I'm not a, I've only smoked hash a couple of times. It's not a dangerous thing. That's right. Oh boy. someone i really didn't like was in the audience and really didn't like yeah really didn't like

1:11:05 that's not, I know what you mean, Like why would stretching make your mind feel better? the endorphins it's the physical release of the muscles which relaxes your body much more at peace when I walk you only use 7% Let's just do this. that do this yeah other guys like a boxing fan and he teaches a killer yoga class. People get a little fired up with that,

1:14:12 do your thing and get out of there why is he what would he mean he's he's got a big gross ponytail It's 105 degrees in there, 104 degrees. What are you saying? okay bro you know what I'm scared of Is it? Exactly. Do you tie rope around the base of your dick and balls? Go all the way down there. Like a real thick, yeah. Old school. Why isn't your shirt turned color, Papa?

1:16:56 try it or you'll yell at me depending on how much pot you smoke joe i started and then i started Because I made this olive walnut bread There's a couple good bread places in Ohio where I'm from. a place in burbank that does it flaky outer crust and the cubes of chicken with that sort of yellow It really is. It's a little flaky. Oh, it's so good. Just grind the grass up and then push it in with like a fireplace bellows.

1:19:22 Yeah. Right? That'd be so delightful. Oh, my God. And then you have a little bit of the top crust to the crunchy outside the could the ring. Let's get out of here Right. Do you wear a pocket square? It was a funny. Did you call her Madonna? And she took the pocket square Because she immediately, I just met her two seconds, she whipped it out of my, and tossed

1:22:49 With your fucking You're making delicious bread Yeah, well, it's a good move. pocket square. I'm like guys, skinny English dudes with a tie. choked, like the average person in the street, if they get choked once or twice in their life, you're like, what the fuck happened? For sure. Before I moved to the next guy. If someone grabs you, if you had to do jujitsu with a tie, that's all anybody would go for.

1:24:56 Right. But I think it should. Right. Yeah, I'm going to grab that rope around your neck and put you to sleep. Yeah. Yeah, just like it does a person. I want to try that. That's what happens to your brain. Like they think that a concussion and being choked out is the same thing. Yeah, you just go to sleep. Because it happens to everybody. When's the last time you were choked out?

1:27:46 you're going to get caught. Duncan. Just get into something that's hard to do just get that type of feeling that you get is very different than any feeling that you get in most of life Because when you get high, It's like a, almost like a medicine for diminishing the ego. You feel things better. need you need an edge to go fight you know right jiu-jitsu is not fighting um because you're not

1:30:16 You can't elbow someone to the back of the head, which is, in a way, healthier for the athletes involved, Right. in some ways to call a jujitsu match a fight. Right. But other people like to refer to it as Not trying to kill, but. A lot. good boxers if the boxer didn't know what was going on. Right. especially good enough to land a shitload of kicks on you

1:32:39 like a really elite high level striker from from MMA become almost helpless against a world champion, probably the best ever boxer. But if you got a really good jujitsu black belt from the UFC don't know what he's doing he's so clever and fast right i mean he's just a wizard a technical wizard just legs kicked out from under him, kicked in the face Legs kicked out from under him, kicked in the face,

1:34:39 encountered with Floyd Mayweather, Right. It's not like a fight. Well, I think it's this whole fucking goddamn delicious bread you're making. Kate's Breads. bags of wheat and artisan all-purpose flour in my kitchen and i'm like i was thinking reality is most of the wheat we have according to to Maynard Keenan from Tool, the singer. About the differences between the wheat we have today and the original wheat.

1:37:38 Yeah. Like, just, I was like, how big of a difference can it be just in making the bread that I'm making? It's really good. in barrels. Does it have to be to me, the difference is between the difference Like you wouldn't want to go back to the original corn. guy grew in this tiny little farm and just happens to have them that week. You know, you put butter on that, wrap it in aluminum foil, put it on the grill.

1:40:24 you can. That's spooky corn. and it said somewhere in there that as cheap as they could be made was like $0.30 a piece, Whoever rolled this did a great job. Is that what it really looked like? See the size of a quarter? looks like the root that came out of your toilet too small yeah big modern corn looks like the root. Yeah, it's terrible. What? I would eat that, too.

1:42:53 Ooh, look at that one. Do that thing. yeah the sweet spot there's no stopping it right now maybe you're gonna leave here you're gonna be driving home in your electric car and There's something so, not about throwing it all away, but there's something about going bigger and deeper into it. You know what? Yeah, I heard Norm MacDonald say that on his show that he just wants to write books.

1:46:29 Son of a bitch. It's not yet. days of not being on stage it's not getting where if you made people like were you here during the heat wave yeah yeah weird right yeah it was When it's like 110, you can stay in the shade and you'll stay reasonably cool, but it's Like, the people in Florida right now, there's a lot of people that don't have power. from Florida, but that's one of the reasons why people think of people that live in the

1:49:09 bring up that why'd you bring up the weather I was here during the heat wave bundle up and they go inside and they burn wood right they have like a whole system built in yeah you walk towards his They have windows they shut. Yeah. You and I have adapted to this. Happier than the tiger guy yeah watch tv all these hurricanes Yeah. Yeah. in blocks it's like you know chunks and i was thinking how am i going to keep track of like a

1:52:50 Not that specifically, but if there's something that I can't wrestle to the ground, So it's all these little, you know, it's like 300 pages and each one is probably Yeah. Yeah. ugh, how did I let that go? Yeah. When you shut out, shut the computer and walk away and you think that's it, your brain is just has an idea and just go yeah which is brilliant it's fucking amazing you got to trust

1:55:40 in a bookstore it's a whole say it's a whole part of the store this guy just cranks it And then the stories aren't quite as fucked up as it. Well, it's not just dark. cause accidents go get them girl fuck these assholes like finally the tormented and picked Yeah. That they never saw coming. I'd be like, Pet Sematary? In the book, that guy goes crazy slow.

1:58:29 mind and being taken over by something that lives in this house. He hurt the kid once when he was drinking. There wasn't enough of a transition. Just make it simple. clear right that's your job like just going back and trying to clear i mean like sometimes when because you learned the whole bit. It's just confusing the clarity of the original thought.

2:00:42 Well, it's also real. But like Stephen King, Hemingway was fucked up all the time. Oh, my God. One of those books. And a horror book about a rabid dog, a giant rabid dog that used to be everybody's friend. they got that bad that he couldn't have effect on your mind and your mind is where all your creativity allegedly is coming from right Sure, but without talent to harness it and you know oh yeah

2:03:41 what are your thoughts and where where are these coming from are they coming from the environment that you live in the things you've been exposed to the What do you make of that? Like tune it in and have it come to you. What does that mean? You know, is it just harnessing us? Yeah. A lot of times I don't try to sit down and write a specific joke. Right.

2:07:09 I really think that great standup is like poetry about like writing tweets Yeah. The world is filled with those specials right now. Cause you know that like, Like as opposed to if you don't have a hanging out. You realize that same new joke is six months old. It's nice and safe here. I got this act. I'm 70 years old. Oh, the elk. Oh my God. Yeah. Holy cow. I do that once a year. That was massive. Yeah. It's huge.

2:09:55 A couple days? amazing i mean that is a mountain of an animal these animals get killed so often by mountain lions, like mountain lions in particular. They drop them off every year and they regrow them quick. certain antlers and you can tell like by the fight each other to the death we find dead ones there really yeah you find Sometimes people will shoot an animal,

2:12:38 just shot them all and just shot him and left them yeah just shot him oh my god yeah people A bear and an elk would be crazy. Oh, yeah? Because they evolve around grizzly bears all the time. so the mother moose started chasing him at full clip. Does that have a, like, would that run you down, like, if it saw you and felt threatened? they're to fight each other oh yeah they go to war another dude yep they go to war for

2:15:16 And they're like Hear it. yeah that's not too loud that's it that's weak look at that big ass rack whoever put that video with binoculars and then you've got to They go to war, like, run on people's lawns and shit Meeses to pieces I saw one that my friend Ben shot in Alaska, in B.C., in British Columbia. yeah i hunted for moose oh you did once yeah at that time man i shot a moose that's a moose right

2:17:55 healthy and it's prepared freezing to death. 50% of them in grizzly bear areas, they get killed by bears when they're babies. Yeah, well, you got to cook it very lightly. Oh, the silver skin. And when you see it, it's like the fascia but it was just very chew, chew, chewy. Oh, it's fantastic. I don't like the idea of just blindly ordering meat when I'm out.

2:20:16 You know? And so they don't want to know. And you're sitting there with a friend eating at Jerry's Deli. What the hell happened? be resolved instantly because to try to get all Have you tried it? Right. Occasionally fawns. than grains yeah beans you know and canned things yeah you know you'd have to can everything but a Eating. and they feel genuinely outraged by your eating meat.

2:24:40 How long have you been eating dicks? You're like, all right. vegans are so proselytizing. Yeah, but then there's also, there's a legit thought point that could be made that the people that to what they eat that Jesus fucking Christ. But if you wrote like meat eater, Tom Papa, meat eater on the, you know, unless you run Vegan. obvious what you're doing. Yeah.

2:27:21 the entire thing. We tend to look Yeah, disgusting. To me, if you can. I get that. So maybe I'd be like a pescatarian. Because this is exciting and crazy and wild, You know, anything hunting gear related, they pay a giant sum of that money that goes towards the fish and wildlife management of this country, of all this wild game. And they just took advantage of these wild animals roaming around.

2:30:30 They repopulated deer almost everywhere it was before. Really? Because there's also the densest populated with humans Well, it is but it's not see New Jersey has a lot of really rural areas that a lot of people aren't really thinking about there's a ton of accidents two million car accidents in this country last year people Right. It's like people who want cities and want technology, but they don't want management

2:33:06 If deers are everywhere and everyone's crashing into cars, you're going to manage them. Yeah. Cranked up and going around and killing things. ate last night that I shot yesterday morning and ate that night, Dude, it's so good. Traeger makes a really good one. I've tried a bunch of different ways is already 125 degrees, I cook it real in almost like an instantaneous way and part of it

2:36:32 opposite of going to a burger place where you just go yeah can i get a double double yeah onions That's crazy. even that you have to learn how to shoot a gun properly it's not it's not people think it's easy like say if you're looking at these animals and you're trying to make a stalk on one and then the evolution of the elk is most likely to avoid predators, cats and bears. That smell.

2:38:55 Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. There's coyotes. It's so good. Came from a wolf. But all the dogs that we have, all of them came from wolves. Yeah. So my little black lab? But a tiger can fuck a lion and get it pregnant. Hold on. Yeah. Go to that video from Far Rockaway where these two 500-pound bear, I might be exaggerating, Look at the size of these fuckers, dude.

2:42:12 They do? He was on a race. They found the bear protecting the kid's body. I thought they were smaller than that. Half the size of that? When they first are, when they're babies, and they were small. How small do you think they were? I thought they were like smaller than that. Yeah. Well, the only predator to a bear is another bear which they do kill each other a lot right eat each other a lot

2:43:32 fuck. Probably died. Here I am. And then ran into the woods Is there's a bunch of trees That thing's huge. Rewind that again. That couldn't be any better than if somebody narrated over an accident like that. My sister-in-law just hit a deer. So yeah, there shouldn't be any wildlife because it inconveniences you. This is something we built over their sacred burial ground.

2:46:24 That fucked people up. It really did. It fucked us up as children Disney movies did where they made animals talk. Yeah. That fucked people up. I'm joking around. But as a child, when I was watching that stuff, my mom was also making amazing meals at the same time. Right. of having this weird symbiotic relationship with us. Yeah. To the point where you get like, I have a golden retriever.

2:48:14 Yeah. then drops onto his back and i start rubbing his belly yeah i sit down he climbs on top of me and very similar to the way we do that's fascinating You know what else they're genetically wired to do? Really? Sure. Is that where you get all your eggs? Can you train him not to do that? You're supposed to chase chickens. It's in the system. Black Lab.

2:51:07 other level. If you give them dog food, they never react like that. Gone. Yeah, it is. They could kill you, but they don't. And it got to the point where was growling and barking at us in the house And a lot of times dogs that didn't have their shots, they get it. Common house pet the ferret is also a carrier of this virus. I had another puppy that had this as well.

2:53:59 I don't know if he was lethargic. Yeah. If you're around the dog, you hang out with him. They have a good time together. Oh, really? I mean, I'm like, you know, it's a lot of work having a dog. The crazy thing is that that used to be a wolf. By the campfire, we had food. Then they became more and more submissive, they think, over time. It's fucking strange, man.

2:55:56 All from North America, too. Yeah. about it that's yeah you know that's comforting for sure you know yeah that's why it's like really talking about uh black racism and he was like one of the weirdest racisms that i've had to accept Yeah. Whoa. They'd probably see more of the dark skinned black people. right right you know exactly just check my profile i'll let you know what it's all about i'm vegan

2:58:56 Right. And it's just being on a team, period. He's one of us? That Sargon of Akkad guy was trying to tell me I was saying it wrong. It's not twat's the best word ever twat's a great word twat is so good that Sargon of Akkad guy twat? you fucking English That is really rude. You know? He totally struck out in Colorado. he documented, He knows what he's looking at,

3:01:38 he's hiking into montana into grizzly infested back and Wyoming coming from the South. It's fucking scary shit, And he's just out in the woods. I don't know if my, This way, it lets everybody know where he is all the time. that's that's the thing i mean even having one other friend makes a big difference he ran out His eyes are getting more sunken in.

3:03:08 was back at camp 16 miles away. You shit your brains Wow. He's going to pose for a fucking calendar. language is the best yeah he'll say you know well i've got me tent i got me bow over here It's a reckless language? Yeah, I mean, how big is the Australian army? Yeah. Maybe that's it. on i can't do that total military personnel 81 000 we have 81 000 military in my house i know

3:07:30 Because I remember thinking, me and my friends were sitting around, we were in high school, My God. Yeah. Because we've got all this food it's shipped oh in california in the whole state that's way less than la la is like 20 million three million Canada the entire country of Canada What is that? Something Lebec. I think it was then. Like, we won, but we miss you, buddy. Yeah. So we put put on the flag Like we won but we miss you buddy

3:10:37 You know what killed most of the Native Americans Yeah. I shouldn't say we. definitely wasn't us i feel guilty i had that in my act for a while my daughter's like why did we then horrible all over the world i mean and even before that like the accounts of what columbus did people gotta stop doing that man If it wasn't for him, likely wouldn't be a whole population here.

3:13:10 racist in origin yeah a lot of the robert e lee ones and all that shit where people are like you We had to create some other statues. Giant spike in Civil War monuments. Giant spike in Civil War statues. I understand what you're saying Right. It jumped up during the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Yeah, hanging on to it. saying that it's a part of your culture this is horseshit like no this is a part of a terrible

3:16:40 it's a giant problem and how the world looks at us and looks at you and the way you look at yourself. They actually live better as slaves. Yeah. Yeah. You can't just pretend this thing didn't exist and that there's remnants of it still around you need to be educated of if we're Oliva. On the road again. Woo Where you going bitch? And if you have not seen Tom Papa,

3:19:23 And I got some elk for you.