Joe Rogan Experience #1017 — Jim Norton Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah. I think that was the company that was putting it together. No, I never met him. I couldn't get in. I didn't qualify to go with those fucking girls and fucking... Wow, credits. Like you heard about the grotto. money like 200 million dollars or something crazy well the land is really stimulation here, you fucking idiots?

3:33 No, no Gloria already. Oh my god. I know I think it was a Gloria Steinem parody He's still out there kicking it. So I'm in December's Hustler, which is out today. Why would we pretend? And then by the time Halloween comes, the movie's finished. Yeah, I don't know the thinking. model. It's like, it's like tricks. It does for dumb people. have addressed the gas thing for years.

6:05 Yeah, there's specific anecdotes about a Best Buy ad and why there's three washing machines, And if they did vote on it, why? But there is good buffets and bad buffets, right? I might have said Delightful Buffet. Something about someone making you a waffle. Waffle. Wow. Like if your body gets used to sugar, if you're drinking sugary sodas all day and you're eating white bread all day,

8:27 You feel it. Oh, okay. Go down there and have some yogurt stop treat yourself little Jimmy you doing good with your life I'm a fatalist. Yeah, the fucking thing that you do with Matt Serra. I love Matt. Like I haven't been blessed They give me a million shots But it's rational Oh, you have a girlfriend's shit. I still look at porn and stuff, but not acting out, not having fucking girls.

10:50 Very naughty. And some of them are literally just people I've known for a lot. I've been talking about this for a week. You're 49. I was like, sorry, I didn't mean to share something good. I couldn't be more obvious about how fake it is. 12 drinks a night and I go are you Bert likes to pretend he runs but he And I'm certainly not saying that he could do one after

13:44 they started saying, we're going to be totally sober. No weed. No alcohol. I go whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa I use it as a sacrament, almost. And Bert wanted to go to watch some crazy football game. Anyway, I wound up getting them. another, I got involved and Ari got involved too. And they're trying to shame me into quitting But I, this sounds like an addict saying this,

15:59 What he's wearing? know, which is why he just did another Netflix special. Jesus Christ. Look how thin his face is. But look at what is that outfit from? It looks like, who But maybe another month. Yeah. pot it's it's huge in the jiu-jitsu community you would think like a lot of people have a jujitsu smoke pot. It's huge in the jujitsu community. And then, of course, there's people that come to it from football or wrestling or something

18:24 All the guys I've met met very huggy and friendly I mean, he's an all-time great, period. that Trinidad was going to run him over. He wanted to get inside Trinidad's head and get him to try to brawl with him. And he was thought to be, like, the guy. 50 or 51. He wanted to be 50. Mayweather would never fight him. Yeah, because Floyd is a tiny man. I don't remember the conversation, but obviously they would have had to, you know, have a catchphrase.

21:26 I mean, there's exceptions to that where you have phenomenal physical specimens that are But I wonder if you're ever going to see that kind of person dominate the way Tyson did as a MMA fighter. Jose Aldo won't look the guy in the eye. It was a big thing with Vanderlei Silva. Was it 2008 or 2007? Oof. Wow. Yeah, just blam! but Vandele was a champion.

24:12 But I think with Vanderlei and him, they shortened the rounds as well. police group i guess or police group could i've sounded more like a fucking like my niece I've never seen any of his old fights. They would stand in front of guys more and just pick their shots better. I should do that online because God knows what I'm doing is not helping me. Have you ever thought of meditating?

26:35 Yeah, my throat. Like the eggs, I think, do it. By the way, celery in a fucking vegetable juice blows, because it just dominates the entire juice. What are you on a medication for? HIV medications that like completely stop it from- and I got to go for, a lot of those painkillers that gives you constipation? to make sure I don't get that. but he's got a very controversial take on HIV. And he does not believe that HIV causes AIDS.

29:56 His work is widely criticized amongst legitimate scientists. And most people just do not agree with no, no one will debate me. You know, is it almost like, what about Arthur Ashe? Or is he saying that What he's saying is that when your immune system is compromised, that's when HIV shows itself. Again, this is not something I believe, ladies and gentlemen.

31:33 or they were born with it. Well, here it says, Arthur Ash AZT is a medication they used to use for chemotherapy, but they stopped using it for to do something? Who knows? I mean But there was a lot of people that didn't do anything that got AIDS that got HIV and No, I thought I thought his was they said a fairly curable one they cause their That's one of the problems with like YouTube videos right where people have wacky conspiracy theories as long as they speak with big words

34:28 glucose and some cancers feed off sugar so to starve them you you go on a very low sugar diet and a very high fat diet and apparently there's real science that But then this next thing also says that he lived for 20 years with it. Hodgkin's and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Replaced or his I feel like he had a liver transplant That's 2013. Yeah, they said the guy who was treating George Harrison brought him a guitar to sign while he was in the fucking hospital.

37:13 So what is the question? When the way you're emailing is because of something you've invented you probably get to the fucking top of the list fast Tim Cook's liver transplant offer If you want to give your boss your liver. Well, that's how you do it. $40 million you can cut. for someone else. Do you think there's a correlation between gently, but firmly. He was a very, very unique guy. He was a gentle and he gave you bad news gently, but firmly

39:36 Lifespan is a hundred years ago 200 years ago. Yeah, and obviously there's been some big advances in medicine Goes into it On the effects of brake dust those brakes, And if you're in a place like, It's something you never, no one ever thinks of either. Right. Like, black dust. Yeah, there's a room back there, and there's another room behind it. That's brake dust and shit that's coming out of exhaust pipes.

42:30 How far is that in like feet or miles? You hope it, but how old is that study I mean, there's no different. How to contain that I mean it seems like? That's actually just not as bad for you It's just not good. You're going to be fine. It's definitely a problem. my fucking dick shrivels Or even fucking an ass blood in their cut. I had a threesome with Ron Jeremy after the porn awards.

45:19 It was like a girl and he's fucking her. To make sure that it was clean and there were no cuts. like a fuck man you just stop well it's also your uh you know i just think it's harder to get All that area inside their vagina is all open tissue, right? because your stomach kills the semen. Don't worry about it. She fucking drained about a gallon of seeds and told me we're all going to be fine.

47:38 I believe he even did. They wind up getting sick and dying from common colds and things along those lines. Yeah. She must have been when he went out and started it correct me if i'm wrong but wasn't she suffering from like some serious mental illness like some Well, you know it's true because it's in people celebrity. You're going to be this beautiful, and you're going to want to hang yourself during a Sanka commercial.

49:47 Because she's kind of vanished off the face of the map Yeah, you gotta wonder like when people there's I was looking at some pictures the other day of We get it. And she was going to go in there with that bad accent. I was strong as I could be. She looks like Gilbert Grape with that hair, too. It was Southern, but it kind of went back and forth. Coolio look at that. Yeah. Well, that's a good one

51:53 I did whatchamacallit. Mark Maron And he loved me. and was bowing to me I saw him years later in the airport. but do a picture. Right. He was in the audience, and none of the comedians would talk to him. Did he get shot in the eye or something? Wow. It was some balance thing. but now with the internet has gotten so much faster and we can watch everything on our phone,

54:41 And then the stunts weren't as dangerous. Like all that stuff was, I think they didn't do any gross stuff iteration of Fear Factor Like, they went way too far. Did you not want to do it after that? They play, Yes. And this was the most ridiculous. So one twin had to drink the piss. You know what's interesting? And look at that, And that was one of them.

57:50 Oh, my God. Well, yeah. Man, fuck this. It's almost like when people push themselves. and then you start entertaining those thoughts You see a lot of times before fights, we've had several instances over the course of the history of the UFC. Like you are here to do your very best. We've talked about on the podcast almost too much, but he's a very famous endurance athlete. Who's a,

1:00:58 It takes a little break. So that guy, one of his statements is most people quit at 40%. Like, you got to know when you're running, like, hills in particular. I mean, it's going to fail. be great if you had a fucking awesome movie in front of you yeah like say if you were watching You can. But here's the thing. to doing it twice a week so I did it today and I did it Monday how long does it take you to run

1:03:59 You feel like regular life is not as hard because the running is so difficult. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. Are you a bug catcher? and fuck guys trying to catch HIV. Yeah, I think it's the same reason why some people Like, I'll take a whole fist right up to the elbow. She would go crazy when I would talk to her What a nutty bitch. Woo! Yeah, a whole fist.

1:06:52 And he just keeps pumping it up in there. I was watching season two again of The Ultimate Fighter. If that's not something you're accustomed to and you're doing on a daily basis, that's like doing a chin-up contest like David Goggins. If you do that, Like I have a friend, my friend Cam Haynes runs a marathon a day. But for him, it's not that big a deal.

1:09:19 doing something like that. Yeah, like, Yeah, those kipping chin-ups are kind of bullshit. Oh, fuck that. where they work out outdoors and they can just do Not just the strength, but like the static control that he's able to do. Yeah. I don't have that kind of balance. I used to wear little fingerless gloves when I worked out just to keep my hands. the fucking worst handshakes ever

1:11:53 It's so funny that he's just, he's such a pig on stage, but he hates germs. Yes, he was. But Dice had this thing where he came out like a fist and just punched through everything. Michelle. Yeah. I think I was like, I think I was like... Do you ever have Florentine on? No. He'd play a really nice song. People are slipping like it's somebody's load.

1:14:11 So Dangerfields in New York has historically been like a poorly attended club. And I go, what? Bobby, I didn't know. Oh, yeah, Bobby. Bobby, rather. Bobby, I didn't know. Yeah. He just winged it, the entire thing. From the Special. HBO Special. Well, Kenny was like his bodyguard or something, right? Who's that? That's outrageous. Big fat fucking ass.

1:17:01 Or that album. You can tell. And people who didn't know. whatsoever. I mean, he even called it the day the laughter died. Just digging on people. And they wouldn't know whether to laugh but I'm like my god Those rhymes amazing people wanted to repeat what's in the bowl bitch like he would point the microphone to the audience With Dice, they hated him that night

1:20:29 He ate dick for three fucking hours for over a three-night period. Plus, the internet was really kicking in. And he did a bunch of jokes Kinnison criticized him for that? and he'll never be on MTV again. but before he went out, he was thinking of doing it. Not noodles. Before he went out Who? He was Dice's guy. Well, just like Slick Rick, shit happens.

1:23:14 AIDS. And they said what happens is there's a red line, and if there's two red lines, you're positive. convinced. I remember where I went. you don't know if you have it and if you do have it, it's a death sentence. Yeah. Or even, a bunch of people that he had it that's crazy i mean that's that's crazy even if you're down to Yeah. I don't was that somebody got a picture of medication in his medicine cabinet.

1:26:14 you figure he probably Dad, film it. But you know, I mean it gives a fuck Major League. He was really, you know, believe me a very unsung film They said his teeth were rotten out of his head. He never did anything with needles. It's a movie. he gave the phone to fucking Gary Busey, and Gary Busey talked to me, and he's like, I Yes. I mean, he's a little nutty, but he's always been a little nutty.

1:28:54 Oh, yeah. You're right. I think, I'm almost positive that he hit the curb without a helmet. Maybe it's not his fault I by the way Like an animal at all No, no, no. Like, how are you doing? Oh, I just lost my fucking house, and I got no gig, and then he's driving safe. It's not like you don't want to drive with a guy who has nothing. Like, how are you doing?

1:30:52 Get in the car, Norton. it's like people, how fast have you ever gotten it to? I had one, the wheel is kind of stiff. It's a tiny little car. They were really big cars, and I was like, I kind of wanted to lease a Mercedes. I live in the city. I did. And the way she said it, she said she had clients. real names i knew their facebook like you know what lives. Like I knew who they were. I knew their real names. I knew their

1:33:39 she was saying I think she was probably like 36 or 37 at the time I really need it because my past is so fucked up. I don't remember. What? Where is this happening? But I've known too many people, women I've known, mob or the asian whatever was controlling them but But then even people I thought I knew, I'm like, I can't guarantee it. But then there was certain people that said certain things.

1:36:37 But it was just like she fucked some guys for money. then there's potential shame attached to it. hard drives in the cloud for these celebrities. Cause it's a weird privacy thing. Like even if Right, it is an invasion. And it's also like you and then there's also office standards of XM is, Would you like to go ahead? It's crazy. for eight hours a day.

1:39:53 It's really disgusting because why well because men rape and they're more dangerous and they're scarier. You know they're physically more scary so a guy Being made to. I'm going to fart in your mouth. It was all right. It was a bad scene. Fart in my face. I think she said I have to fart. No. I like a scent. I fucking... It has to be the smell of their feet when they're stinky.

1:42:38 There's a whole fucking thing with it. Because it's clean Don't make them dirty I'm a hygiene person for that so that's how I know I'm meant to be with somebody you know Chris Ryan Dr. Chris Ryan was a friend of mine was telling me that women when they're on birth control pills And that scent, they think, is not just like whether or not you're sexually attracted to

1:44:19 Like that married people would have go and have these blood tests to see if they could not not pregnancy. Blood types are categorized by A, B, and O. Yeah, but that's some incompatibility between a mother and a child. They have to take a blood test? It may still work fine if your scent is off. dude i fucking sniffed the armpits and i'm not a guy who's into toys or clothing like as far as a

1:46:32 Of course. that's really ultra rare a common practice I mean it says uh this was like an article that says tests you need to be getting It's not like, you know, you don't hear about that from doctors. but maybe we just don't talk about the other aspect of it because the big one is HIV or whatever. fucking test. Just shot loads in there and made deal, like, that a parent,

1:48:28 that will show up through the blood test. That's what's so strange. Yeah. Your arm is 50. I know. Oh, O negative. Universal red cell Well, it is weird how some people can the dirty porn words. Oh, that means something. I don't find her attractive at all. For me, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what is it about, like like trigger words and weird things and weird?

1:52:24 a radio show right so it's a different the whole world you live in is different to make this effect it takes 11 it's just it you can't get the same effect from the same thing. It does nothing for me. It was my first porn set ever. Oh, yes. Like it was weird. Like they were they were doing this scene yeah that's her come crashing down on them but for for this scene like the two of them were on a bed and they were

1:55:30 but it was, like, convincing herself that she loved her job, and it just, like, super bummed me out. Her husband at the time, That was a set. jameson she is the biggest ever in this business you have to watch this happen and then we went on And I don't think the guy could get hard for a little while. The sounds are too much. Settle down. There are guys that like that.

1:57:38 And I met him at the award show in 2000, January of 2004. He loves directing because he likes what he's doing. Brandon Irons someday. That guy, Like, you know what I mean? how does it translate? these guys, I just don't really watch as much with big names. I just stopped because my dick was horrible without it. Yeah. But I haven't in so long. and hope for the best.

2:00:13 to make it so that there's all these different factors Right. And somebody came. But I could just be hoping. Someone's got a gun to you. own friends like i love my friends i'm guys comfortable around them right but i'm other kind of doing what you do comfortably. Yeah, but no, I'm not comfortable too often it comes to certain things or train your mind to not entertain so many neurotic thoughts or train your mind to concentrate on positive things and eventually build that up the same way you build up endurance.

2:04:08 Like maybe there's the same sort of thing. and worked at being at peace and being calm and and then also I've worked at all the extraneous I do something five days a week. I have a dog that doesn't get any exercise he has physical requirements for him to be content like chill we could just sit at home and and just read a book and have a cup of tea and just do you

2:06:58 But she's not here yet, and we're still in a relationship. one time i forget why i was really fucking suicidal and i called her i don't like calling their job is not so she was she just not very good at it no she was like yeah no I know yeah no I know Right. But I feel better now than I have in a long, long time. I really do. People love it. He runs this place

2:09:37 Chip has braids. to fucking wear. Well, it's such a is to be that unaware. Doing it this week in LA reference people don't know we'll know um but he knows jim so he's like hey chip he's trying to go it's a huge podcast from New York. I've ever been humiliated doing Chip. oh even for you because it's Chip they're going to go Now I'm compelled. yeah.

2:12:31 someday. We do one a Fucking slammed you Oh now It's just nonsense. It got a reaction out of them. so I would always do Uncle Paul just to fucking make bad in his real life like I don't want I mean, you know, him and Sherrod and those guys, they were having so people didn't like it they didn't like it but he sounded like he was having I don't know exactly,

2:15:05 and then the head of the talent department and he was videotaping it And then Sherrod goes like, ah, he was having fun. I don't know. Lawsuits. that are going to get interrupted by commercials Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to be a phone hooked up. pick an episode how is a podcast played in a car you just get there's a bunch of you literally, all you have to do is press play

2:17:59 Yeah, you could play it for Siri. the recent ones of all the ones that I subscribe to. That's good. In the building. I don't know if they know I mean, I don't know how they would track that they may I remember when Howard went to Sirius, it was like, wow, hallelujah. Sure. and this is scary for job security, Faction Talk, yeah, I hate the name because it doesn't say comedy

2:20:26 I do too. Like I've done a lot of projects for that because He's a really surprisingly good radio guy, like, with going to breaks and all that stuff. Yeah. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that, but too bad I'm proud of it. You do, to the compound, yeah. compound media i like how he called it compound media too because oh look at the aaa show a great

2:22:15 Like, I love Sam. audience member gets yeah i'm like i never get to fucking feel that way. like in Montreal a couple years ago. to host a comedy show in Montreal. Wow. Right. that Anthony's actually talented. And he would have me on the edge of my seat listening to him talk about it. I mean, as much as it sucks that it's over, But again, he's got his own show.

2:25:04 But what about you doing a show with anthony like a compound media you know compound media is seeing that fucking... But security hadn't been told so I'm on the show and I know ants coming in Yeah, he was happy. Uncensored conversations conversations they're just do my own someday, but I'm literally loving it might be and again we have one more year left on the contract and it is something i would do as

2:27:32 Homeless Charlie. and then became a big deal. So the only reason Yeah, so they were saying, who they wanted me off the fucking show, It's like, hey, fucking shitheads, I was there in the afternoon before syndication. So whatever. I didn't realize that. character he just has dry teeth he said there's not a whole lot to him but I and I had to shit again immediately

2:30:03 but Sam's like no I'll think things, but I I talk so much doing a podcast, so I'm talking a weird voice and there'll be something that resonates with me And I'm like I'm stuck in my fucking head man Just let me know. I hate saying that. this one this week is going to be a fucking doozy.