Joe Rogan Experience #1018 — Alonzo Bodden Transcript

Transcript

0:00 and less gay. that, too. Yeah. And then, obviously... Like it like it shouldn't be. And we were just going over all the details of it. probably you know did any bullet hit the ground? Like there were so many people at this thing that every bullet probably hit somebody, you These guns were illegal, I think, for 25 years. With guys who are into guns.

3:25 Like if there's a reason you want to collect it, just like if there's a reason you want to own a race car. It should somehow be more difficult to, Here's what's fucked up about this guy. There is usually no outward like that. You may have a big house, you may have a compound, you may have a, you know, a camp, a place you go camping in the woods that's actually stocked with, you know,

5:35 Well, terror this is definitely terror because you know why it's terror because now are you going to go always thought this, like the airports are so stringent. Like you go through the airports, They get to smooth it down. Yeah. And I have, I'm a global entry guy. Where they have it, rather. you have terror right and now are we going to decide that you have terror everywhere

8:09 It's early. When do you get what are the privacy rules of checking what you bring into a hotel, what's in your hotel room? The woman wasn't his wife. It's not actually even the government. But that's not true because I got one the other day. Yeah. easier to escape. Now, the thing about Vegas, this guy told me, who was a security guy, he said, the thing about the cameras is you see who's with who.

10:56 like you with dresses on so uh you know so i had to give up that hobby no i'm kidding i'm kidding I mean, is it I mean there's a ton of different ways to kill people I'm not kidding. He could have that hole where he always wanted to do something bigger than his dad or he wanted some approval. And, you know, God forbid they got weapons. all these people. But again, gun control is not really going to help this. This guy was using

13:50 along and says, well, now it's illegal for you to possess that gun. In my opinion, it's always been like, why can't we treat them like cars? Like when you buy a car, This is one of the really fucked up things about guns. Where you have to go to a range your dad teaches you. Well, if your dad teaches you to drive, you still have to go to DMV and I believe it.

16:34 I don't know on a mental health. So even if your insurance covers it, even if you're medicated by a doctor, there's a What are the numbers of people that actually wind up and go and do shootings? People are getting shot by toddlers on a weekly basis this year. That is. Mm-hmm. Put it under the pillow. as being one of them. And that isn't true. You know, like I said, I know, I know people,

19:54 About these issues. Right. With the police, the vast majority of police are good, we can never have a real discussion, right? Because everybody just suddenly circles the about me destroying the gun control argument. They're supporting their team. Right. The well, to start with, we have to have the conversation. You have to register whatever it is with the government and you have to have liability insurance.

23:19 I can sell you my car through Craigslist, but I'm still going to go put in that uh liability thing Well, what happened in Australia is they had a mass shooting and then they put their I think. Yeah, we still have the wild west mentality well we have a freedom mentality which well bill o'reilly did a Yes, criminals are always going to have guns. But, you know, the thing about the good guy shooting the bad guy, it doesn't happen that often.

25:33 stolen or taken away because in that moment they can't use it sure and the criminal he ain't got because I will be able to figure it out, you know, because I'm not a pussy or I'm not. I couldn't even tell you. I honestly couldn't. Most of them I know they're fine with having their gun registered. What is the one friend's argument? I couldn't even tell you.

27:01 and I know it's the wrong term, but it's You got, you know, you're an average American with a two bedroom in the suburbs. Yeah, everybody wants to be John Wick. I ain't gonna lie. Oh, man. He stole John Wick's car and killed his dog. just off the charts, Right. They always get, like, shot in the shoulder a little bit. They do these tests for carrying concealed, but it's like you can do it online.

29:49 and go through all the stuff then you have to take a test and you have to understand things It's just about knowing how to not get shot or shoot yourself or shoot someone else and how a gun works and how all various weapons, bows and arrows, crossbows and stuff work. this is the wrong time to politicize it, machine. But it's going to characters yeah yeah i mean there's again it's

32:22 and you do, you can't make meaning that they meaning that they're anti-Obamacare. you know, so many people were. And that's what I mean by demonize. You attach this name to it. talk about the affordable care act if you're going to talk about health care at all you're And then you start battling the corporations and you know big As long as it's not your whole diet.

34:44 No. I'm black, Joe. Sugar, corn syrup. Right. When you talk about people that eat red meat five times a week because it's like the common sense argument is eliminated because the common sense argument is quiet. You know, chicken, you know, is supposed to be good for it. i have an issue with him though he did a show where he was um he did like 30 days is that was

37:51 getting aggressive and yelling at his kids and his wife was like i like you chubby i'm chubby I don't want to say his name, but what he would do is for like the first couple months, the first thing you would do is change your diet. Now we have a healthy baseline. Like, what you've done is you put together a show where you've had a terrible representation

39:30 But they always do. right you got a sensationalized in that case and yeah and it's also you know you talk about He did it just to prove the calories in, calories out thing, but there's a caveat in this too that says it doesn't have any hormone Howe munched on Doritos chips, sugary cereal, and Oreos too. Go back. His bad cholesterol, LDL, dropped 20%, and his good cholesterol, HDL, increased by 20%.

41:59 Read that one. And Doritos yeah, if you just did that without the without the protein and what I would have been a different result If you've learned anything today, you cannot live on Twinkies. It's fun to eat a waffle smothered in maple syrup. Waffle House. in and they were like wait a minute everyone's lining up for that california liberal burger

44:47 You know what I mean? There were people at my show. I'm like, why are you here? I'll tell you what, though. Five Guys fucks with In-N-Out better In-N-Out is way better I'll tell you what though They have fries They fuck up where they don't have shakes. A lot of potatoes. Five Guys. Peanuts are fine. And I've only heard this recently. Wow. That would be some CSI shit.

47:03 about Tom Petty. I mean, what time was his heart attack? He still is. Who's like the oldest guy who legitimately makes sense as like a stone-cold killer in a movie? Shredded. I bet he'll fuck you up. Yeah. able to see what does it say george foreman just challenged steven seagal to a no holds barred I use boxing. shell defense that he adopted And he'd just thump.

50:01 There's people that are getting bigger and bigger Yeah. That's insane. Goddamn communists. He's in high school then, it looks like. Yeah. How do you say that? Interesting Shoots some super sperm in there Everybody get out of the way. them at all there's guys that are retiring at 24 25 years old why am i going to have a three-year 110 out of 111. if the trial was today

53:10 Yeah, If I Did It. Oh, you'd never seen it? the night when O.J. got out. If he goes to Florida, there's plenty of fucking stupid people in Florida that will take him right in. Like, you're 70 years old. Just quietly fade away. there's no, I don't think there's any way, there's no positive public appearance. do that that's not america see when someone gets a fucking release right you're released you're on

55:37 Right. It might be jaywalking. Maybe you. It was with Bert. But is this- You had this crazy wide bike that was a Japanese bike. But it was a big-ass cruiser. Yes, I couldn't remember the name of that. No, that ain't it? Yeah, that was it right there. Did you bring it to the factory or something? was chromed. It was a great bike though. 800 pounds 800

58:51 What? Is that like the idea behind them? But I saw this bike at the dealer. And now I'm like, nah, this is me. Yeah, that's it. What do you keep in there? They put their stuff in there. Is that a loud bike? slower right but they're more comfortable is that the idea yeah you know what that bike is man that Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Again, this is stuff that I hadn't done until I got this bike, right?

1:01:41 What kind of music are you playing? You really do like jazz. that they're into jazz. that level of jazz. That's the shit don't know how to explain it's music played by master musicians and that's what that's why it's But don't get me wrong. I think I appreciate it because I have no musical talent. And they're like, man, I wish I was funny. a track called So What by Miles

1:04:15 and suddenly be, Isn't that weird? It was revolutionary and groundbreaking at the time because the culture was so childish and infantile. And it's ideas and understanding of weird concepts or abstract concepts or things like censorship or racism or any of the things that Lenny Bruce covered. And it was, if he started today, talking about the things

1:05:43 that brilliant comic mind and he still would have been, who knows what he'd have been talking about because he'd have been kicking down doors today. But conversely, if you took someone from today, like if you took Dave Chappelle, and you had Dave Chappelle doing stand-up in 1960, they'd probably be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, it's just not relevant.

1:07:01 when they would do like a japanese impression and put like a cigar in his mouth. That was like his thing. Right. Right. like I remember like Cedric, up in saint albans queens working class black neighborhood you know my parents both had jobs If you were from Bed-Stuy, you'd have seen through my ass in a minute. Tommy helped me when I was new. With his voices and singing and shit brilliant. Yeah, really

1:11:09 And, you know, you literally see him in a nod. I was in Cleveland early this past summer, downtown Cleveland. there was an Anthony Bourdain show he was doing about it recently doctors, no, it's not addicting. They gave him some pain pills and then he had some complications with the recovery. So now he's on pain pills for three months. But meanwhile,

1:13:01 I had a tooth extracted and they gave me like, Yeah. I didn't like, shit's wrong here exactly pay attention to or don't use this don't use this body We got a long time ago Stan Hope did a bit about that, right? But he's right. for as much a time as they had to pack it. He gave me two different prescriptions for pain pills. It's not painful, though.

1:16:17 I will say this. I did find instantly i was like doc can i and he was like no we we don't prescribe these you have to come in It's like I'll never do it again. I'm like, why do I feel like shit? them yank that stuff out. Because if you took a pain pill every time you were injured from jujitsu, yeah. Stay on thoseitsu. Good. Good move. Good call. Stay on those motorcycles.

1:19:05 These kids were like 19, 20. We knew what we were doing. All the stop and start and bouncing around. Well, doctors will tell you the knees aren't made for sports you know Yeah, there are a lot of things. Yeah, it's got a little gift to it. cast and that these rubber Right, you today. These guys are big. And also you've got to look at how much money is invested in that player.

1:21:57 They've been there. 88, 89. And I got to know a few players. That was back when, you know, 5 million was a huge contract, right? Isn't that funny, too? She's taking care of it, doesn't even know her. but this woman wants half a million for this super baby. I know, but it's weird, right? A lot of the dads are like, well, just send me the bill. arrest in the process.

1:25:05 He was ordered to pay her $4,000 per month. Let me see what he looks like. But everybody, every black player in the NFL just refused to play. You're asking them to follow the rules. It's weird, man. because that's a powerful statement to do it at that point. And you summed it up. because it's getting people pissed off for the wrong reasons, right? Well, it was.

1:28:25 And the argument is a completely different topic. And, you know, that. they started having these Antifa protests and they also started supporting these Antifa protests. 20 years ago, 10 years ago at Berkeley, you could have had a speaker, a right-wing speaker that the school didn't agree with. it's like promoting a fight. six months ahead, that's a better term so yeah i shouldn't say speakers i should say provocateurs whereas ben

1:31:22 It's teams. It's fucking Trump. And again, these are the same people who said the exact same thing about Barack Obama last year, right? Disrespecting the office with off-color clothing. He's on some shit today. Yeah, fire those sons of bitches. If it's going to be entertaining, be entertaining. It's going to be people running into the bathroom, beating people's asses for pissing during the national anthem.

1:34:07 It just points to you, and people start talking about, well, what is it that you're protesting? Now it's lost its effectiveness. Yeah, exactly. or you're going to be fined or you're going to whatever. The NBA just started this week in preseason. more united. are necessarily encouraged to speak out or the big difference with the I don't know if basketball players are necessarily encouraged to speak out,

1:36:24 Yeah. you bum at the president. I was like, oh my goodness. Where are we? Where are we going where a fucking be the president in 20 years. Why not? Where'd you get her? You know, Yoshi Kobayashi. Because they're following their heroes. You know what I mean? Do you think he fell off because of the controversy and all the hate? No, I don't know what it was.

1:38:58 They said, no, it's not a conspiracy because of the protests. was divisive yeah and when tom brady said that everybody went oh jesus right right he's not if you want the players to be compliant and submissive, you're asking the wrong thing. Ah. Right. You just go right to the fight. you're taking the knee during the anthem. The anthem is supposed to be all of us. It's supposed

1:42:22 Get to your seat. Cause that's what you heard right at the end. People are using the land of the free to shake their dick as they're, like, trying to get it out. Personal information off of a server from the NFLPA, I know someone that happened to, that Bitcoin hack. target large businesses and people that will be willing to pay. This is fucking up everybody.

1:44:59 You know where it goes? people will be watching football there'll be something else Like the fact that she just made this blanket statement, she thought they were likely Republicans They're so locked into this liberal bubble that they think it's OK to say something like that, that it's okay for mass murder to exist and you don't feel bad She was a vice president of business affairs.

1:48:07 wouldn't do anything because country music fans Not even sympathetic is such a, I mean, that could have been your sister, your mom, your daughter, someone's little kid. What I said was, had it been a rap concert, Like, you know, you know what I mean? Oh, it'd be war. No. that's ever lived. Caleb Keeter, good old boy. Caleb Keeter. My name's Caleb, Caleb Keeter.

1:51:00 I'll be like, who the fuck are they? Everyone's in their group. rapists and dope dealers and everything. There are people that are taking advantage of it in a fucked up way. What are you looking at, Jamie? about the guy being a lone wolf? And these people that have, for whatever reason, they have this need to be a guy who gets paid attention to. living in New York for two years, And how many mass shootings this is.

1:54:05 policymaker, then you do more than just say that. You got to put your balls on the line and step up to take a class, if you had to register. Trump's a publicity guy. You know who she is. Yeah. Yeah. I ain't going to lie to you, Joe. So you watched that whole Cuba Goody Jr. thing. Yeah, you look at, and that movie he did with De Niro about being the first black diver was a Man of Honor.

1:57:09 dropped off in a weird way like wonder what happened with him i don't know it's one of those What the fuck was that? Yeah. I mean, he was in Django. Yeah, no, Jamie Foxx. Yeah, but Jamie Foxx is still in the mix. He still does everything. I mean, he was in Django. Yeah, no, Jamie Foxx was about him. I've been hanging out with him. He's such and the opening of it that they might have worked out.

1:58:31 Yeah, he's going to have to get real thick. Ali's corner man when there he is. Those fucking fights but preposterous fights. mugabe was a murderous puncher and he took Mugabe into deep water and then fucked him up and stopped him. the first round, but Hagler had a The night Marvin Hagel was not knocked down. See if you can find the knockdown. let's see here bullshit knockdown i mean he just like pushed down the back of his head.

2:02:00 So he went back to his corner. It should have been a decision for Hagler. See, he just kind of pushed him down with his forearm and Hagler bounced right up. And then they fight as well. I mean, Ldell's talking And now they got to figure out some way to build it. I don't envy the people that have to deal with the bean counters and the money. Like, I bought Star Wars for $4 billion, and I'm making money. Yeah. Like I bought Star Wars

2:04:32 and like they license There's a whole team It's like a virtual reality Star Trek ride. Disney's like, yeah, we're going to handle this. but do you remember when the first movie came so yeah you remember when the first movie came out this whole thing got to be mind-boggling but do you think he set out to do that i mean he set out He had the wise Yoda.

2:06:42 Yeah. It's so corny. exactly because you know the actor had to do the lines for the other actors. Right. That's funny. Because of Ving Rhames? weapon money. You didn't need this. Is the guy from Ray Dunovan. Lave Schreiber. He's the voice of Juice. Donald Sutherland is the guy who was in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Yeah. There's another one that I could have done.

2:09:44 He was also in Major League. Pedro Serrano. That's how I know him. He You can go to any mall in America. And he was also. Who's the Allstate guy? He was also in Major League. Oh, yeah, that's him. Yeah. And just was completely off his rocker. Yeah. This is his first movie? God damn. In our lifetime, things have changed so radically. we tried her church started doing the bulletins online so we gave her a smartphone like a few

2:12:34 mom, you know, Really? and didn't know know and they got a His data was on So sweet of them. is going to be a $1,000 iPhone. man. They're badass, but that's You know, because it's always been you get the discount if you sign up for two years or so that. I would. And it's been lost. Henry Ford also figured out that you can make fenders out of hemp, and they're far superior to metal.

2:16:27 hemp is a very strange fiber. stronger much stronger it's a very very strange it's the impact is 10 times stronger than steel They probably had to crank it back then, right? And it's completely sustainable. Oh, yeah, I know. It's light like fiberglass, but far stronger. Lotus. painted and and um sealed or it's just sealed rather but not uh colored so you can see the

2:19:32 down. That's one thing that a lot of people don't even realize is the laws were actually put in place Marijuana was a wild Mexican tobacco. In the 13, that documentary, they talked about it. or anything it doesn't it's no thc whatsoever it's just the fiber from the stalks yeah it's not just He says it gets him high. But if we were, you know, if we were reasonable and intelligent, we'd

2:22:02 waking up and getting rid of I mean, you know, people, store just you know go to a bar, almost anywhere you look. but initially like nobody could deliver it. they were running into a shortage. No doubt. him. You see him just sort of swallow That's a great joke. Yeah's he was a guy that was it was Ted Yeah. And that was probably That's his dream. he was the only Latino

2:25:32 You know? Yeah. Lawnmower engines and shit. ginger would just always have makeup on with everybody yes she had heels and the dress on and the smart people would look at marianne and go i don't want That poor fuck. What is this? What happened? Experiencing even stranger physical effects. The United States This was audio attacks, right? They were hitting him with sound. Oh, shit. Sorry.

2:28:03 Surprise election? That description suggested only bona fide diplomats and their family members were struck with no logical motivation beyond disrupting U.S.-Cuban relations. Oh, there's an ad for me in New Year's. supposedly weaponized to make someone shit themselves. I don't know who your next guest is. Like he shot a lot of guns when he was younger and he blew his hearing out

2:30:32 can't hear. It's weird. It's very weird. Yes. and I think they didn't get very far with it. Yeah, I wonder what the sonic attack is like do they point it at you you can they have that i know for sure the speakers that can be they can Just little games they play with each other. How straight boy magic that gets in the wrong hands? all the electronics in a certain area.

2:32:51 The entire power grid, we have to start from scratch. It's the day the sun brought darkness. tracked so far in terms of solar activity is just a tiny fraction of what the sun is Beach houses are ridiculous. The ocean. But you can live in one of those places that gets hit with 10 feet of snow, 12 feet of snow, and you're screwed. I said, mom, let's hope one day I make enough money to live somewhere I have to worry about, you know, fires.

2:35:28 No, I don't have a full kit. $100? Yeah, they were charging, I don't know, what was it, 90 bucks a case, I think, for water and $100 a gallon for gas or something. There's no time to door close. But if you can just not press the door close button, it's a start. And if your kid presses every button on the elevator and he accidentally takes one to the head, we can't be held responsible.

2:37:36 Don't press that door close button, ladies and gentlemen. Exactly.