Joe Rogan Experience #1026 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Good? Sore butt. I love this new studio. It's so amazing. It's crazy how much stuff you're going to have in here. And Greg Fitzsimmons was in, and Corey Felton had some little tight jacket on. Someone pointed it out, and then Saturday I watched it. Yes, but there's no excuse. i really didn't think i was just trying to say something fucked up to make greg laugh i wasn't

2:30 I couldn't sleep Saturday night. Like, they're trying to do the same thing. It's it's no joke, man. I felt bad about it all day. did i say that like sometimes you'll say something fucked up and then after you did it like you can't and then the guy hears it, like if Corey heard it, overcomes your whole day like i don't think anybody knew because i was still having fun with

6:04 was like this feeling of letting a bunch of people down and hurting someone's feeling, doing something in a mass way, like on the Internet. You know, I'm not done. Grumpy? just fucking quit pot it's nothing. I don't know about all that And there was an enormous bear inside this cave. good. I never had a problem sleeping. I'd get up in the morning and I'd be fine. But there is a

9:39 Have you switched anything? That's Tom's biggest problem. We're doing it together for the first time. 90 minutes is a long time. Getting shredded. I just found this company. I don't know if you've heard of it. They send you a new kit every three months to see if it's changed. I'm sorry, and if I disappointed anybody, I'm sorry He goes, oh, I miss it so much.

12:21 People would get fired. They have this new video game, it's called So rude. You know, and I think people need to look at stuff like that this way. with each other, like there's this, there's a lot of pressure now on people But what's interesting about it is everyone is expressing their displeasure and pleasure of things. The Crips are blue, right? He's a fucking egomaniac, right? So he's paying attention to new shows that talk shit about him.

16:16 States. I mean, this is a new way to communicate. You don't want to hear what people have to say that people thought was cute And if you look at it, if it's a good thing or a bad thing, like I forget what I was listening It's like if you're not there, you're getting texted by your daughter or son, Yeah. Dick Tracy's was bullshit. I'm not there, but just go in.

18:24 Oh. Oh, DHL. fuck yeah it's a lot of money That Diet Right. What are Yes. Arnold Palmer. It's like lemon. But a month off booze is not hard. It really hurt me. I would never have taken a month off if we weren't doing this challenge. Christ. Jesus Christ. I'm still not Look at the phone you're holding up. Yeah. How much did you lose there? That's Weight Watchers right there, buddy.

22:16 That's crazy. That's crazy. Cigarettes. comic store and all your friends are smoking around you it's almost fucking impossible tony hey, are we still quitting next month, cigarettes? You need like— You usually gain a lot of weight. Yeah. It was a weed hangover. Like, goddamn, I feel like I'm hungover. I'm really wondering, like, what is going on where I'm dreaming so much more vividly without pot?

25:23 I know. So that's like three, four nights a week at least. people was going, Joe, I don't, in quotes, I don't smoke weed on vacation, Rogan. It was no problem. That's interesting. you're too busy. But not smoking pot makes me think I'm too busy. It makes me think I think that's the key. He would do it in these big bursts where he would, you know, and he was recommending like that's the way to do it.

28:52 I would like to see what happens with Joey if he took a week off. You never gave him enough for Lent? That's why I don't think it was smoking. I think it was just eating it. 125. Lee is hilarious. There's just this woman there masturbating while asking me questions. never been to a strip club before but his little I think it's a money thing because he's just like

31:22 never looking up, all the way to the back and out the back door yeah i did i did the other day this is crazy i did a show with george perez in compton you're like, Super hostile. George just pretty much, table hey you wanna go get some butt sex upstairs but just making that up it was You're not going to make a diamond on a Tempur-Pedic mattress. whoa.

33:46 Yeah. Oh, my God. He just had gone off on jalapeno poppers. I those jalapeno poppers from Jack in the Box. Oh, my God. So he used to barbecue. He got his staples removed. Well, the problem was he was so big that if he said he lost weight, the business. Like that guy could probably kick through a fucking building. You think about it? time and I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd be like,

36:00 Yeah, I would imagine that's a tender meat down there Yeah, he's huge. And what's weird about Burbank He's like a hockey player or something? You're like the only guy who knows less about sports than me. What was the dude that was the Cubs guy? Hey, I'm Harry Carey! You should go to Venison. Like, they get a little too crazy. But I think it's illegal.

38:48 Oh, that was smoked ham. They have a big problem with them right now in San Jose. Oh, my God. I never put the two together. he released a bunch of wild boars, Eurasian boars, all over the backyard and about to cook it. it when I was a little kid. Yeah, you This is the stairs to the door to nowhere. I thought it was a greasy house. I love these old rich houses like i went to the

41:55 The Gamble House? Yeah. I love houses like that. Pasadena. You can look through shit on the inside. They have different kinds of tours, goddamn, I don't want it. That's the house. Like, I don't want to live in Los Feliz with all the Yeah. I mean, come on, man. You know what's probably the dopest house I've ever seen is the Ferris Bueller's Day Click on that one.

44:07 Really? Man. The crazy billionaire in Ex Machina. But people would watch you fuck. Matthew Broderick? Yeah. Is he doing that book, the science fiction book? Oh, that's right. Because of the phlegm thing? You should do La Croix. Do we have any of those back there? Amazon. LaCroix Yeah like the chemical stuff is dangerous Was his name Dan Quinn? talking about how Stevia burns off

47:42 Man, if I wasn't wearing my me undies right now That's why it has the little green leaf. Maybe my brain's the other day by accident. and I was just like, and they hooked me up in years. I treat myself once in a while. Get a little Mexican Coke. I haven't had a regular Coke in years. Cigarettes killed your fucking taste buds. I would love to have a taste test.

49:37 Million. I would love to take Five Guys, all the burger places that we know of, and have a taste test, a blind taste test, and you tell me which one is the best. I don't like the fries There's not many of them They're pretty good. You know, like the problem with a lot of these fast food places. They have that fucking thing cooked way in advance You'll throw it out your window.

51:23 They got a fucking big belt buckle Whataburger spicy ketchup, Amazon. There's the Stevia. It's used in the UA, East Asia, Russia, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and is about 200 to ribodiosida. If your stevia isn't made from REB-A, like, for example, the whole leaf extract that's God, feed it to chicks. for you it's the saturated fat and they although they they pushed all the blame

54:47 hippie i don't know if they're right though they might be right makes sense yeah i was just looking But I wonder why. It helps prevent blood clots. Where does aspirin come from? Malaise, disease, massive issues, health issues that people have. I don't see anything about it being from a tree. Acetylic acid. Ha ha. Bitch. The bark of a willow tree in the middle of the night.

58:46 That's a pretty tree. Let's make toothpicks out of a willow tree that prevent heart attacks. Yes. Grow your dick? Of your rat. So there's two rats. electric one in my kitchen into the electricity thing He was the same rat? dating an asian who eats fish eyeballs so i was like get that get that out of here you made her Like I just told her to throw the whole thing away.

1:01:31 I was freaking out. You should definitely take pictures of that. So how they were getting in was confusing everyone. Yeah, but his back screen, the rats are coming out of his house? there's backyards. And you'll see them scurrying across the top. There's definitely rats. Yeah, we still have next to it so people could see how big it is. Yeah, look at them.

1:03:44 Black widows were much Amazon natives cooking giant spiders. screen on top of it and they bury it and they're no no like you cook it over a fire oh you know It looked good. Are they going to kill it? But the hairs off the spiders. It might have been Les. Look at these kids. That's cool. I think it's hair. Like if roaches were yellow, no, that's what would have you worse.

1:07:04 But the actual taste itself was very bland. What did that taste like? Yeah, tomato hornworms. oh me i'll give you some tips yeah Yeah. Did we talk about this? They're on a budget. Yeah, we mentioned it off air, but we didn't talk about it. and The Rock did a review of Tyrese's album. Good for him. I love The Rock. And he inspires the shit out of me.

1:10:13 got after it hardcore hardest workers in the room it's how we do it um the number one question that Well, I don't know that. Saturday night. He's got 10 movies juggling at the same time. form of selfie. That's a meme now, isn't it? San Francisco, if you're with four people, you can get, like, $200 plane tickets on a private jet. The one here, you can only just go to, like, San Francisco, Vegas, and maybe, like, Oakland.

1:12:32 You've got to reserve it in time and make sure there's only so many seats. I don't know. You can't fly out or LAX. Vegas noisy. Because we used to stay at Mandalay Bay all the time. I'm almost positive. Now he's dead. They're looking into it. There's a team. That's because he was shooting towards multiple hotels and then shooting straight towards them.

1:14:46 No one knew where the shooters were coming from. People dropping and falling down right next to her. I mean, that guy planned that shit for a long time. He was a real sociopath. what are you talking about? Your brother's a fucking serial killer. Your brother's a mass murderer. You know, you shouldn't be talking about what an eccentric character, you know,

1:16:56 When you got a dad that's a psycho like that, calculations he was was ballistic calculations. That like this happens and then someone decides that I want to be the next guy and then they do it somewhere else. had a guess I mean isn't anyone every president's probably always writing This guy's talking about the CIA. Doesn't trust the three-letter. I remember talking to my mom about how horrible everything was and I remember going the biggest problem

1:20:24 There's another one there's someone I've seen those. about a Russian troll farm that they have these businesses. Oh, yeah. Like, how is it? Is that Jack? Oh, that's so good. that's hilarious so this woman like is tweeting real tell me if you think it's real, Brian. Let me click that. God damn it, Jack. That's the account there. Shakespeare was illiterate and could barely write his own

1:23:59 It got deleted, so I can't find it. No way. Oh, my God. It seems legit, right? Do you remember before retweeting was an option on Twitter? And RT, Joe Rogan, just finally coming out. What is it called again Twitter Twitter Truth Trolls? Because people thought that they were endorsing that. LaBeouf. The camera is still up? They would wear Make America Great Again hats on,

1:28:27 The fact they took it down is actually making me mad. They found out that they had met him in some weird place in Tennessee. They looked at the fucking stars. So great. rental cabins in Lapland. Here's how they did it, too. Love it. episode from podcast feed. Editorial. the things we said could be interpreted that way. That's on us. It was certainly not our intention

1:31:51 There's a bunch of other people that think it's fun because they're stuck at some goddamn soul-sucking job in some fucking cubicle somewhere. Like, what did he get busted for plagiarizing? In 2013, he abruptly quit what would have been his first Broadway show, Orphans, due to creative differences. Barf. I've never spoken or met Mr. LaBeouf. Oh my god.

1:34:43 what he said from the Yahoo Answers, but it's pretty goddamn close. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, with the open micers. Because when you're including all comedians Yeah. Dean Del Rey started at a really young age. No, he hasn't. I don't want to say what the joke, the bit about, but it was about people who don't wear I don't want it to interrupt my comedy.

1:37:21 I think she's pregnant now. I think she actually is. A good Jew juice. Wow. That's interesting. Absolutely. was it like 40 something pounds and then just ran with it never let up never never went back to his because he doesn't look the same. Can I recommend a show for you? and adults love it. or we're going to taste test 10 hamburgers and we're going to figure out which one it is. Or we're going to see if we're going to play this game where one thing is cow eyeballs and the other thing is gummy cow eyeballs.

1:40:30 I highly recommend it. It was one of his off shows in between seasons. Howlin' Ray's. Because it's too hot. Yeah, but after we did it he said Shawn says that was hotter than anything Is it that bad? No, I felt like I was hallucinating. But getting the oil, my idea was get the oil out of my mouth because my lips were getting inflamed. It was horrible, dude.

1:42:54 What's wrong with people? and she beat everybody by almost a marathon length, right? November 9th. Good spot. Yeah. Morty's is a good spot. Morty's is amazing. And. November 8th, I'm going to be at Indianapolis at Morty's. November 9th. All right. All the aliens.