Joe Rogan Experience #1046 — Owen Smith Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Boom and we're live. Owen you going to Australia? Are you moving there? I've never been over there. Well I think a lot of them And they're as big as the United States. I didn't even know that. Lower 48. Yeah, I used to have a joke about Sarahah pale and i'm like that's a frozen puerto rico that's what that is I saw moose up close and whales like breaching.

2:11 They feel like they're heartier folk. Yeah. Garrison Keillor. Here we are live. Oh, no. Ladies, listen. That pretends to be a female so he can get in close with the males and then because the males don't recognize him as around just like the girls that's like girls That's like the one straight dude in a ballet. you've been trying though you've got this whole thing cultivated you're watering it all and

5:07 What was Garrison Keillor's? the professorial crush, And Garrison Keillor. terrible is hate you and then it's Yes. And the next thing you know, you're like, can I jerk off in front of you? And you're like, what? You viewing the world. You're just chaotic, impulsive, and you do nutty shit. And the next thing you know, whipping your dick out thing, like I know

6:48 And I was like, you're like, Is it a... Not only that, it's a low average, too. And if you have a freak girlfriend, got to get to know me first. It's not like the lady in the office that handles accounting. or comfortable enough in their own skin or know what they like and just can tell you and you're I know man they always wound up Oh, man. Well, part of her behavior was like a game to try to get me in yeah you know like part of her freak shit yeah

9:46 I sucked your dick in that theater. It's dope. I don't like movies. she fucked like you have you used to fuck it's my turn it's my turn you know what I had to do to get in this You're like, why am I with you? Added value. One out of 100, yeah. You know, a girl takes a chubby dude and brings him to the gym all the time. I'm trying intermittent fasting.

12:16 five pounds in a week. That's crazy. yeah it's just you know what man it's like that feeling when you come home from the store though Yeah. I started wearing a heart rate monitor finally. For sure. Well, I mean, I try to be more on the plant-based tip, And you know who he is? so goddamn militant. people got mad at him. That's what he says. And those psychos almost always have like vegan in their name.

15:01 Like my man EpiVegan, he loves your show. But I mock them like I mock myself. I made two pies So I had to take the whole dumb pie home. No eggs. We took a class. Like I was like, who makes good gnocchi? All right. I've always, when you open a menu and, you know, it's like, you know, I'm fucking with It's an interesting pasta because it's a pasta made with, like, they make it with potatoes.

17:59 You make gnocchi with the sections. I'm pretty sure they boil it, though. And then there was another one. Yeah, man. We belly yeah, we belly no haven't but I watched a documentary on the plane Right. Those people are the only ones that are going to do it. Group. I'm usually really private about what I'm doing. And his energy is high, you know, and all of that.

20:49 My son's growing. We give him some food and we taught him more. And so my wife got me a dope record player for Christmas. Wow. Fuck with you? And just while I'm talking to them, I'm talking to them about what we're talking about. Especially my littlest one. like I'm indestructible. on the mount. So that way, like bullies and conflict, it won't bother them because they know how to fight.

23:51 And then I would have to stand up. Okay, we like you. and I did not know that there was a place that existed And just Oh, you want karate? You nice like that? That's hilarious. the word got out enough So I was acting at an early age. Like psychologically, you knew the right guy that couldn't keep his mouth You know what I'm saying? Right. You know what I mean?

27:30 And he wasn't that much older than me. pickups i'm like i did eight hours i go i'm not working more than eight hours a day for you guys He goes, you weren't at that fucking place you said you were last night. I'm like, this guy just doesn't want dreams. And that was the thing they were saying. Fat dude. Go-go music? Doing the butt. We didn't know notes or anything.

31:22 he called black boo that's what he calls himself and with a Washington Wizards play, he's dope. My name is Boo. So that was his name, Boo. How you doing, Ms. Smith? My mother wouldn't know if you got a quarter cup of oil, Chickabaw. that's funny that's how we met and that was kind of like indicative of the apartment complex like And so that was a, At the Greenbelt comedy connection.

34:48 crowd at the time. You know, he was I'm gonna be famous. Like he literally was saying that. And so then Woodsy goes up. say this you know and it was like a it was like a weird i don't know i never had like other like we had performed in it's a lot of spots called cabarets where the audience is not facing you Like a headliner would like go short What in the fuck kind of shit is that?

38:06 early or something he was the mayor still like what was coming. So Chris Like, you know, I was like, Like, I race off stage and then, You seen him on the Martin Lawrence show. And I really had so much confidence because I feel like that area was some of the toughest environments to get laughs. the house emcee there and I would watch the national headliners come through and oh that

40:46 And you'd watch them all weekend and you're like, this is a headliner it was just like barely adequate just barely and you'd watch them all weekend yeah and you're like this is a whack show and then the next week it'd be bill hicks or it's like it puts a smile on your face, like when I see somebody abusing it, why the fuck am I doing this? I spent some of my early twenties doing that.

42:04 he said he lived there for a while. He lived there. And I asked him, I go, why'd you move to Australia? He said,ay was, because I used to. So he lived there for a while? How long did he live there for? I remember I saw him. But after he made it in America. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then he was there? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I remember I saw him back in the 2000s.

42:46 And we listened to it at his spot and we smoked some weed and we were listening to it. I'm a comedian, seriously. What does it say? it's weird one of those comes in last he was the first black comedian they all felt like they had to fit into this. they felt like oh i got to talk about the shit that people want to hear i think that's how you horrendous yeah it's horrendous yeah because they're just used to like witty references and

45:46 it became a it was us against them yeah i was like yo we all trying yeah there was a lot of I'm sure he is. Who takes off and who doesn't? Takes the happy away. need to get a regular job and stop chasing your dream what yeah all that shit right there divorce Yeah, I had my wife listen to it first. um, And I said, oh, he said top 20, baby. That makes me feel good.

48:57 stability but it takes away from the potential earning of your stand-up and then the dude that I love his. And then when he cut his dreads, he was, like, more centered, more zen, just standing there talking. As soon as he sits down, he's like. I do that too, though, man. Yeah. You feel refreshed. Getting mad if you try to hold on to him. Yeah. They're gummy bears, but they're made out of essential fatty acids.

51:45 he's like, you know, So I would just do old, what? that's dependent upon you yes and he became this guy All you got to do is... Yeah. We're going to walk on coals, hot coals, barefoot. wait wait wait wait yes i know that shit motherfucker and when you meet him uh when Good luck. this may not be true, hey man, you do a half an hour. Right. They don't know how to just go, hey, man, you do a half.

55:10 And then they come. Just left, you know, know game a game a great intro He came up to me when I was with my daughter once. man there's a lot of them i'm always getting these fucking memes from people like who's this guy then i'll go to his page it's It's really weird. But they have studied Can you be a person who has never really accomplished much in terms nothing creatively nothing?

57:51 motivate by doing you you see what i'm saying like that's more motivational than telling people all right. And, you know, you know, But I think there's a lot of people out there that want to be that guy but they don't want to do that kind of work they don't want to It's seeking. Like, I go to yoga, and I do my thing, and then I'll look, but I'm like, I don't even know how to make this my spot.

59:54 Whatever that shit is. I could never. I forgot what he said. Oh, yeah. How often do you go? it was rough but it broke me it broke me in terms of my enthusiasm for yoga Monday yeah it felt good right What's that? They just, at their job, they squeeze their dick muscle. That feels so spongy and weak. so tired, I'm so weak. like, really hard for a couple of seconds, like, it won't do it.

1:03:06 And go down there and smash the base of your dick But they're not talking about that. a hundred percent. So, I'm an only child, right? but this is, this is when it worked I go, and something was going on. Oh, that's so crazy. Yeah, it's so crazy, man. It just comes down. and I'm supposed is on lookout. And my dick will start getting hard. So I'm always pulling my shit down. Isn't that funny like everybody knows you get an erection everybody

1:06:27 my mom had a thing she knew it was going to be his word The Weinstein thing, somebody kept, like, notes. that's the leave this continent right right my head on straight I'm gonna stay A dick grabber. Fuck, dude. This is one of the things they're saying about House of Cards Where's my beagle? Yeah, his eagle. I think when a man and you're like the big star

1:09:50 We're going to take him down. if you you know they had like a parent or somebody going baby do you think it's safe to you know meet Then you're living. Yeah, there's a lot of women that have been rape victims that the stigma of being a rape victim publicly is so hard. Will we be a healthier society? But I think we're going to get to a point where all of this is looked back on like wearing powdered wigs or slavery or any crazy old shit that we just don't tolerate anymore.

1:12:23 You don't like me at all. My boys are single. What have you, wow. Because that's what it is, right? Definitely. again you know i mean but he was like yeah but you you know what this is you know take my whatever right it's like you sitting on yeah you literally came up with this guy wrote it this guy shot it yeah yeah you know that's $25! I heard it was $25.

1:15:37 Whoa. O'Reilly got a lot of extra money Hold up, Dojo. I appeared vulnerable. Like this guy was on a rampage for years and years. and they all have short skirts on and they're all talking about like like american values Yeah, America! So the amount that you put out, Like, he was an anti-gay. They had to give him the X. He may have also previously assaulted an 18-year-old.

1:18:57 Your words are violent. There's certain taboos now that just breaching them on stage. Well, you're, you're setting up like for a special, When you ain't setting up for nothing, you just rockin'. to take its full. At the end, it'll vindicated just let it let it play out let it have anything i just figured out how to make these bits all work good i know and it's exciting right

1:21:43 Yeah. You know, I mean, like it was just a blind love for just how it made me feel. is because it's just writing job a TV writer of Everybody Hates Chris. everybody. So I was his voice because at the time I was also like acting classes and doing all of that stuff. i wouldn't say anything i knew better than to try to say something and then one day showrunner his

1:25:00 i give it to him they throw it in they laugh louder chris was like you say this gave him they laugh but not as loud didn't know i probably should have shut up i had another one I was so happy. Go for it. But it's like he came out the shadows and just said it to me. Some people would listen. Like, Yeah. showrunner worked his whole philosophy was funniest wins and you know know, if you got it, you got it.

1:27:45 and I wanted to go to New York. And I took it. But so I was living in Harlem and I was a comedian and I would write during the day. I came out the first time in the 90s. We were all in this, we all Floyd, he pretended to be my manager. and he pretended to be my manager Can I just check out the room? Okay, cool. right I was just like who is this dude I want getting there damn so I stayed away

1:30:32 in my head and I was like, Okay. and then i booked and then i did radio to promote a show and they offered me the guy the program And so. And that's what I did. I was already like, ugh. So then this guy so much. And I was like, oh, I was I was already like, oh. So I was supposed to come out here for Y2K. Owen, we got it up to 180. No one has ever gotten this before.

1:33:44 I think he was like, all i think and maybe he was like But we already edited a few, so we'll send them to you. And I thought I was going to at least make money and uh i thought i was gonna at least make That was my thinking at the time. There was a few dudes wasn't he? Yeah. I was just like a poor man's waterbed. Yeah, man. like cool so i sat in the or and i watched chris go up and at that time i was i wasn't in i'm still

1:37:52 whatever you think is your thing the time. I was blown away by the history, that he knew a specific history of it. a showcase for Mitzi she was sick yeah I don't know So this is all of it was after I had left. Do you work like Comedy and Magic Club? Yeah, hopefully. and he used to pay me for a feature I fucked her It was random. are you a private contractor you're kind of a private contractor private contractor um you come

1:41:50 I mean, but I was never like I'm not grope what i mean and so she had i forget i don't even know how it happened it was like um i think she it was like a weird I was no game this dude Like, all right, she's cute. out because i it was at that time like like later on, it was about DVD sales. And I want to be nice. Busta And so the punchline is like, to be called nigger, right?

1:45:28 when you get forbidden words. Forbidden words, shake up the whole t-shirt DVD selling thing. you know, but the reaction to that is you do you do like if you work in kentucky right the late show friday It's like, you're dealing with You're like, And white people can't say the N word to you. perform yeah and then i'll talk to you afterwards because i i did what you paid for let's yeah i

1:47:34 They would ship boxes ahead, tape everything down. I know. Yeah, I'm not Fatim Pluffy. Yeah. Has anybody approached you about a special? And I figured out what my act was for the college market. works best if people, if everybody can see it at that time, like what I was talking about. accused and stuff. And I i do these these kobe jokes in the middle and it it changed the chemistry of the room you know

1:49:58 Place goes crazy. And I, and Hired everybody, right? Doubles my budget. Did two shows. I was stressed, Wow. I didn't pay the director to this day. I could have done my whole act over without an audience. I knew every special and oh and the reason and that whole year every director that came and directed everybody hates chris episodes i would take them to lunch because

1:53:23 videotaped myself returning the iPhones, And so that was another, you know, so I just put that up on youtube it's called good luck everybody those are the two Yeah. the cellar and it was like it was beautiful just the way he would yeah man i love watching him but god damn he had me crying it's like there's so many people right now that are so good it's

1:56:14 carlos mencia thing and i didn't come back until 2014 and now it's just hot i've never seen it charm your way through a bit. It's an audience filled with comedy nerds. It's great, man. And I'm going to see you tonight. That's for the Fight for the Forgotten. Tony Hinchcliffe. Cool. Number four, yeah. Yeah, thank you.