Joe Rogan Experience #106 — Steve Rannazzisi Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience Fucking people. about this happening wow yeah it's fucking essentially they were picking and choosing The river crested at 48 feet, With all that water coming in, I don't know. I'm not that smart. Why are they building still? I say it fucked everything up, but it made everything awesome, really. With what, a gun, I assume? Some of the shit that you see in these videos, man,

3:51 You can get plenty of organic meat at Whole Foods and shit like that, venison can last you for fucking 10 months pack it up freeze it keep it in the freezer you're good the expiration dates scratched off you're like ah fuck it you know it's supposed to be really bad know certain things went bad like like campbell's soup or or uh spaghetti sauce don't they tell you

6:09 Did I really? That doesn't say. Don, that's a ridiculous way of thinking. Thing goes off. I was scared to have one when I used to do a lot of drugs and drink a lot because I thought I would be emotional and I'd be tripping. That's what I'm saying. I say, if someone broke into my house with my family there, right? Shotgun. You've been practicing? That could go wrong. Fuck yeah, it could. get by the way the guy could take it from you

8:58 i used to keep a putter an old putter next to my bed and then like one day it just broke apart i Yeah. They were like leather and inside it was like lead pellets. They used to have those. So it's kind of like a more high-tech version of like a sock with some marbles in it. The Strong Island Boys used to carry around Brass Knuckles. What are you trying to do?

10:38 that got into a fight and then hit a dude with a crowbar. That's a horrible – you have to know you're in here. Dead. Imagine if somebody hit you from five feet away with the earth. When you get knocked out, I've seen dudes and then weed pipes bongs yeah make up your fucking mind man what do you want to do which Oh, it was a switchblade comb. It's the same guy that thought of the candy cigarettes.

12:59 What are you guys doing? Sniff them licks. It's awesome. What's funny is those candy cigarettes is that they actually sell them still, but they can't call them cigarettes anymore. Yeah, well, it was when they first were starting to come over, like maybe a year and a half, two years ago, So for a couple weeks straight, I was smoking only electronic cigarettes.

14:56 So I was getting these lesions on my throat from my throat being so fucking dry that I started spitting out blood. I know of one when I was trying, Did it work? What they're basically saying is the fake poison is poison. You can buy addictive drugs and don't do anything for it. I want to just go outside and have a cigarette. Yeah. Hypnosis. chicken and i start blowing everyone in the room you know i never got to that point i don't know

18:17 thinking about other things like he would be like think about whatever you want to think about and start off every session with like i knew i wanted to quit i i want i have to want to quit but i would And your son is going to come visit you in the hospital. in my car and laugh my ass off and it was only one time for her that she went and it worked for

20:16 Well, they all are their own techniques. There was nothing nice around, but I just got through a referral from another person. Hypnotic. Like, when you drive down the street and you see these fucking houses that have psychics Yeah, yeah. more wrong about things in my life I get angry. I learned. the house anymore. Wouldn't they be very wealthy? My power cannot be used for personal gain.

22:31 who's going to win every sports game. the name of their show. are looking at you people can tell oh yeah they can sense when people are looking at you you know because i would think you'd be so aware that you're in a test. I turn and look and someone's giving me the mad dog. I think it's probably not even 50%. be like, you know, let him look at me.

24:50 Yeah. That's perfect. one of the ways that this guy proved his sainthood was that he could recite things that he had just Because you remember when you were a little kid, you couldn't read silently. And this is probably an evolution of language, an evolution of the way we interface with language. that some people were able to tune into the forest and able to tune into information that comes from all the animals and nature around you.

27:26 But he said there wasn't words, Yeah, Robin Quivers just went down and did it. and combine them, because one of them contains the chemical DMT and the root and the vines of another and combine them because one of them contains over hours and hours. How the fuck did Nope, not that one. Why wouldn't they just keep, like, give us more, give us other good shit, you know?

30:06 about 15 minutes. If you take ayahuasca, the orally active version, it's a less potent astral travel on fucking illuminant snakes that fly through the air does it make pot different And what the fuck is this stupid shit? I'm under a lot of pressure. Where you could go to some professional place where this guy is sanctioned by the community. Now this is

32:39 this is what we're going to do. You're going to be in this room, Just don't worry about it. with a phone ready to call the police on you. You take a third if you want this. If he got a chance, he would do it just for the story. My wife's sleeping there. And Ari goes, what? Do you have a specific odor? We played basketball on Tuesdays. Oh, my God. If it wasn't for me noticing that he was limping, he might be dead.

35:20 See this? defense soap, like eucalyptus There's the guy who's just too lazy, and then there's the guy that's like, oh, I'm a tough up, and he's got a little red volcano I go, you need to go to a hospital this moment. Yeah. You got to take a bunch of different probiotics. Sounds awesome. It's spicy though. for like a few days it was a tough this one late this is gonna be awful all right this one lady did it the first lady that went to right she did it it didn't hurt

37:58 And I got it. We're on the even playing field now. Because my kid's getting about to be delivered. Wow. No. Fireplace bellows. Why coffee? and it has to go through your stomach and everything. Because they've been puffing bags and then you'd start hearing the hey, man. i uh pulled up his emergency brake and he skidded out and crashed his car oh and the first thing he

41:45 but the reality How fast were you going He stomped on the gas? And he came out of the closet and told everyone except me, which is odd. Yeah, he's probably going, on the Rogan board, on the message board, whether it's drugs, boulevard like like those bars and stuff it's like mardi gras every night yeah i went i went to this It's great going, like Ari Shaffir's old joke, it's great going being, like, you know, a straight guy.

43:48 Because there's not only drug use fucking everywhere. The stall's a bathtub? You know those urinal stalls? Oh, one of those. No dividers. Woodstock. You have fun while you're there because you get to hear Hendrix, but you come out filthy. The stalls at Bathtub? Yeah, troughs. Just give them somewhere nonspecific to pee. There was all these coffee shops popping up everywhere.

44:55 They hate everything. So she took all her money to get this nice little coffee shop. Like I would come there at like 5 a.m. and work till like 2 p.m. every single day. like wall that fucking window up dude and just never put a wall and fill it up with cement these homeless butt sex guys they'd come in and get coffees every day and they're just like hang

47:11 Lesbians have never figured out how to rock that. Because there's a lot of butt sex going on in San Francisco. It is amazing. it's just like, what the fuck have you ever driven by Rage I think they have a dick. they want to be a man dressed as a woman. and then they were talking about Oprah being on Next. If I get it, I might get it from listening to him.

49:58 I understand lesbians because I think women are hot. Yeah. Your mom, no matter what you are, is Cher. It's worth saying, you know? I don't understand wanting to be the other sex. Yeah, his son is, like, just turning 18 and wants to be a girl. Easy, son. We had some good fucking times in that club. Of course. So it was like a gay strip show. Don't you think Johnny Depp would have been the guy that's like,

52:28 I saw the... And he smokes cigarettes. He lives in France and just... Bill Murray was actually better. voice worked. Like, there's certain impressions But then when I found out that Johnny Depp lived in Hunter's basement and fucking stayed We got into a conversation. I said, just let me know if you can't answer it. and crazy Daniel Day-Lewis Yeah. He's the best.

54:48 The best boxing fight scenes. What did you think of that? The fucking fight scenes are off the chain. Like I watched one of the, this Mayhem, It's like, this is like, we're watching Rocky II, man. They can go around the other side and it's cool to see those different things. Anderson Silva is awesome at imitating fighters. You can't have your chin up in the air

57:26 and analyze it and break it down this guy there's a legend I thought that What's-His-Name-Is-The-Brother was fucking unbelievable. Very well. I've heard... a good job of it? I just feel like it wasn't enough like Mickey Ward. I mean, this isn't real to me. thought this shit out. There's a What kind of shape is he in right now? And she's doing it too.

1:00:12 ball cop together and we would drive home together in boston and he would have we would eat all day very honest dude. But he also Yeah, he's going to take it. 80 pounds, wow. Kevin has always had real martial arts skills. Like the opposite of me. I don't know if he's willing he's not shredded. An hour and a half or something over their allotted time.

1:02:28 Jake Shields had fought to a very close decision. was turning red. Boom. The bell rang rang and he wanted a rematch so they they let mayhem in the cage and mayhem He was on his back and they were kicking him in the head. So he's been lifting and he's been getting bigger. Yeah. You want to go? Big fuck up this weekend, man. You know, because it was for a title shot.

1:04:22 It was either a broken rib or a separated rib. it'll be like late summer, early fall, somewhere around then. As of right now, it's two different companies. They said that when you watch Strikeforce, what was awesome about it was you got to see a lot of knockouts and a lot of submissions. you know, you know, You know how they have for basketball and baseball?

1:07:08 Miguel Torres versus Mighty Mouse Johnson. He could not fuck with this dude. So this guy is fighting the former champion, Miguel Torres. I think it's the Spike TV fight. the girl fights. Not an official one. Just grabbed their hair and fucking. just smashing this girl onto the ground and just we're putting on your boba fett costume and then getting slung to the ground later

1:10:06 One guy uses his head like a fucking soccer ball, But when they know they can get away with shit, you see the weakness of a human's character. don't you? The comic? Yeah, I saw that video. Fuck you. Wow. or serve us, Here's the phone number if you want tickets. Here's the audio for me if you want to hear in Cleveland. Yeah. Eight o'clock. You know where the player got the address. Here's the phone number.

1:12:03 You can't really hear it. Kill that shit. Yeah. That's like cell phone. He might as well be You can't really hear it I heard he Whoa Yeah Really? and the guy pulled the gun out. His girlfriend was there. He had his wife come pick him up. That's so weak. Kind of a crazy asshole. too I know Barris was friends with all them like they do security I used to hook those guys up with

1:14:18 At some point, you're going to have to. And he just starts beating the fuck out of these two cops. And then the other guy tries to jump on him. not knowing how to fight and being stuck with a crazy prisoner. You ever watch those movies or those documentaries And this guy is on the ground, like barely alive, a hundred fucking holes in his head. it's just like whoa like when you hear about like what vlad the impaler used to do the guy that was

1:16:56 Yeah, and then when people would leave them up there for months When things happen, man, when you hear about people kicking shit up to the highest, scariest notches, and dashed them on the rocks. you know, I don't know if there was resistance, and reading all these stories about all these different battles Because they turned to their other buddies and their buddies went

1:18:54 Yes and no, because they weren't in peace and harmony with themselves. and they would come in and kick ass on the other Indians and rape their women and kill everybody. Before, they were living like this crazy nomadic life of thousands of years ago. do this to stay alive. You know, when you don't have, you know, when you don't have a horse to They were so advanced as far as like society.

1:20:48 I watched True Grit the other day. Everybody was good in it. She can act her ass off. Yeah, I know. the whole thing you're like this is where we live now yeah because you just got you were the lazy new culture in the woods you know and you would figure out how to fucking use uh coconuts to go And the Irish is dominated? They're white as fuck because it's rainy all the time, and they don't have to deal with the clouds.

1:23:50 you've got exactly 10 hours every year of being in the sun, I've seen – I've been on boats before, like fishermen you talk about, like, dudes that look like me, also wants to kill us. Yeah. Because our moon is so large. Like the moon doesn't turn. mathematics. They talked, according to zechariah Instead of a circle, you know, it's like a long and the way the moon's orbit is that it's reflective of some larger body in the solar system.

1:27:25 that we might actually have a binary star system, Yeah. I've looked very, very closely at the whole moon landing thing, the United States ever went into space and came back Maybe, but who the fuck knows what kind of weird shit goes on when people are actually running countries? He would have leaked that. Oh, um... if I remember. First of all, Those are different

1:30:41 I think we went. to go to war with Cuba. They're going to arm Cuban friendlies. They were going to blow up civilian airliners and blame it on the Cubans to get us to go to war with Cuba. Bill Clinton wrote this. During my eight years in Washington, I saw some things on TV that made me wonder if he wasn't ahead of his time. as transparent as you can get by saying that we didn't out and say that and this is about as transparent

1:32:37 I'm sure a lot of people now He was the guy that was the fucking astronaut in the Apollo 1. He goes, how the fuck are we going to talk to people when we're on the moon 260,000 miles away? He was hired by Congress to oversee NASA and look at the whole moon landing thing Really? And so is your little report. All I'm saying is it is possible. It was like on the fly how Hoffman's character just was like,

1:35:04 I swear to God I'm not. photos that they took, the Clementine Lunar whatever the satellite is, how far away it is from the moon, there's one of the things that like yeah all the hoaxsters all the you know the people that think I was like, you never considered that? Buzz Aldrin, there's some fascinating interviews with him, man. Fuck you, man. Even if the guy did

1:37:40 is you have to watch the post-flight press conference. And the video of them coming back from the moon, man, it seems like they're full of shit. I don't recall seeing any. because Michael Collins would never say it. Occam's razor, man, most likely except for putting people on the moon. That one is weird. That one, every time they talk about off all support to afghanistan and it's like now now it's game on you want to fight three fucking

1:40:13 we don't know what the fuck They've said that the CIA has come out. Why are we there? and they're taking, not that they're taking care of the business on their own, is not a good idea. We do it when it's – but when they're our allies or they're our friends, then it's cool. Get him in. That's my fear about Pakistan now. It's like we've been giving one and a half billion dollars a year for arms

1:42:34 800 yards away you didn't know that was in your They dump him in the ocean. We could see a fucking photo of a – I can see the argument for not showing it. It's the high road. You're right. It is the high road. But I don't really know. out. I'm not saying it's not the high road. I mean, I just think it's the smart road. You're protecting people. go fucking crazy

1:45:32 it or do something. There's gonna be a wiki. Yeah. And butcher that. There's a fuckload, man. They put out disinformation. And the Master is going to rechange. and you automatically get labeled a kook. Try talking about Bigfoot. You're a fucking kook. coelacanth. Who the fuck knows what's in the Pacific Northwest? You know? How many square... That's not true.

1:49:13 There's a lot of crazy shit in there. It wouldn't be any different than an orangutan. It's got two kids it doesn't see. I'm learning something. Together like Is bigger than my fucking forearm Why did this thing have these giant legs and these weird arms? Yeah. so they were never, they could just lock those and they would just find it. There's even speculation about their coloring,

1:51:48 There would be nothing. and that it was five miles deep into the earth in the first second and a half it hit. It's a great movie. I just love Buscemi, how creepy and weird he was, just fucking the rocket. It's weird to see Steven Tyler, man. You know, Run DMC had to be talked into doing Walk This Way. Like Rick Rubin, we were giving him a high five.

1:54:02 What is that one? Yeah, that was cool, man, is the Jimi Hendrix one When I want to kick things, when I'm working out and I want to kick it to the next level, mixed with a daft Punk song. Yeah. The league show. Louis Black's going, But yeah, It's the biggest Festival? It's those guys, man. yourself out of you just did you just stop doing that shit just stop write new stuff right you

1:57:34 now stand-up is like this living thing that's constantly changing and evolving and i can't Those bits are gone. I was tuned into the ether. Wednesday tomorrow night at 8pm Relaxing. Getting older. Nice. We have the same. And thank you again to the Fleshlight. Oh, this is a tough one. Yeah, why don't you just change it? It took me like 10 minutes Oh, really?

2:00:33 That's how I do it.