Joe Rogan Experience #1078 — Jimmy Dore Transcript

Transcript

0:00 three two jamie with the quick count jimmy doer we're live we're live oh fantastic do you use get fired or something i never and i never thought anybody would hire me you know i got in trouble for at that station for uh for playing the same song And simulcast with the FM station because I wanted to go out in the quiet. Oh, right. But you'd still have to pay some kind of royalties for those songs.

2:01 Really? I saw you do sets at the Improv. be not good if I did your jokes right to you, but I can't not do. Those are some of the funniest And I'm recording in April, and I'm like, boy, April is like the wire. Yeah. what is this really is this real is this someone doing a shakedown? accusations that happen you know after a while they pile up, and then there's this anti-male resentment,

5:22 Yeah, she was grabbing some dude's dick and grabbing his ass, and she was drunk women in their 40s, No. real threat of rape is actually right no 40 year old lady's gonna rape me you know it's scary, it's dangerous, the real threat of rape is actually that. Right. I haven't seen this guy probably tell jokes for 25 years. And then they would go, oh, she's just like one of the guys.

7:14 It's like, wait a minute. I mean, he wasn't physically in danger. That's like the fact that someone could physically hold you against your will and just stick She can engulf you. Well, he said he was engulfed. I'm recording in April, so it's close. I still get jealous when I see someone doing something better than me and I want to do it. days they can notice so i haven't been since i started my youtube show it's uh i haven't been doing stand-up as much as i should and i stopped touring like i should and uh and i miss it i want

9:54 game right now. You know, I have to really start I took it. all you had to do was figure out who am I going to have lunch with today. I do, because it helps me to discover who I am more. So I sat down, and he starts his set. saw Bill Hicks and I knew I was I didn't really know him. Grew up poor, 12 kids drinking powdered milk, you know, and having the shit beat out of me from the fucking morning till night.

13:19 know, everything I wanted to get from comedy, in a sense, I got from this YouTube show. So now I It's such an important thing that's being missed today. So the thing that people give me a lot of heart, I get more of a hard time from people who consider themselves on the left than people who consider themselves on the right. decade right it's because maybe less than a decade well to me it's since it's it really started with bill clinton in 92 but it didn't get really ramped up until barack obama in like 2010

14:56 which is a giveaway to the pharma and health insurance companies How was it better than what we had? So then you could go on an exchange and stuff like that. Well, this is a different thing. Do you have osteo-farmacetosis commercials Do you have oscophagous, trusciolus, midfoot, calidocious I know that sounds So I'm one of those guys who, if I want something, no matter what price I have to pay, physical, whatever, I'll pay it.

17:14 Yeah, so it gives you osteoporosis and then my bones got hollow like an old lady. It's your nerves. So everybody told me that you should go. So finally, I was just about to die. And he said, I only saw this once before in 1968. a hormone that makes your body leach the chemicals that I need to make bone. So I take this thing called phosphorus because you need phosphorus and calcium and vitamin d to make bone right so um that's so we did that and it was amazingly you know he's just

19:37 and I was shrunk even more. They cement. And I was going to do it. it was the best of times, because I couldn't let everybody who doubted me Jesus Christ, Jimmy. doctor predicted. He's looking at my chart, and he looks up and he goes, Walt, I've only seen this Because if I can't do this special, I'm going to kill myself anyway. You could have got that crazy operation for nothing?

22:19 No, he tells me to make sure I eat meat because I need whatever is in it, I need. Like you're not one of those fucking plant-eating assholes. seen those too where they the no no not those so in the in i don't know norway or denmark i don't You know, I like to cook. Whole wheat pasta has the same amount of gluten in it. Bread is horse shit. like um there's a documentary called what's with wheat it's really fascinating really yeah and they go over the details of what happened with wheat, but it's somewhere around

24:53 You got fat. So when I went to this Chinese medicine doctor, and and like and and carbs basically and um he told me not to drink soda and i said well i drink So by day three, I was leaping out of bed. And then you have to take a nap. It's a wild animal, and their life expectancy is very short. What you're doing is just dipping your foot in the wild world.

27:28 fighting to try to make a weight class. And I didn't like it. I just didn't feel good. And then 154 is what I moved up to. I was still thickening up. I mean, fuck insider trading they're saying yes laws are fucking criminal they're insane it's not america So the law only applies to the poor. He fucked up. in her Instagram posts, when she's stepping off of a fucking private jet.

30:18 she's hot for him? No. But let me just say this. Yeah. to break a few eggs come on make an omelet so they said and if we investigated we would find came from an email from Citigroup, okay? There's so few that are calling out people in the Democratic Party for what really is going on like I was You don't. And all of a sudden, we're supposed to... So, you know, Ronald Reagan scared the shit out of the Democrats so much that they decided to become like them.

33:52 And that's exactly what happened. Bill Clinton to do it. Bill Clinton gave the cover to the other corporate Democrats to go along with Right. please prop up Donald Trump. So that's called the Pied Piper strategy. And that's why half the country doesn't vote. We have two pro-war parties, and there's not an opposition party. They passed $160 billion to a war machine that we don't have an enemy to fight.

36:48 off with a kitchen knife that's what i'm supposed to be afraid of what the fuck what it's it's it's That's not what they mean. We keep it right to our fucking drinking money. versus all the different social programs that we need in this country. We don't even know how many bases there are because lots of them are secret. Their development. And we're still in Afghanistan 17 years later.

39:27 So what happens is they wanted the United States That they did it? anyway guess what they did it anyway. They dropped you have to use them. You've got to use them. And what do I mean by that? So that's what they're saying. You're saying he should be more militaristic, which is fucked up. was an anti-interventionist. Right. outdated and it doesn't work why do people they're not asking the question anymore why do people vote

43:12 Are there racists who voted for Donald Trump? Fucking Alonzo. He was a Democrat for the longest time. Let's just give them food. It's not a bad idea. That's not a bad idea. I mean, if it's healthy, Remember the old saying when I grew up was there going to be a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage or something like that? The economy, when they say the economy is booming, they mean Wall Street is booming.

45:15 $25,000. That was a big now is either poor or low income 30 50 percent of Well, as soon as they got into communism, Write phones have nets around the building keep people from fucking jumping off like it if someone was honest about that. I would like it, too. He would probably know what it is. The Hamptons are a low-lying area. Everybody's job sucks.

48:09 So you have unions, you have social programs, because capitalism fucks everybody. were saying that it was getting completely bloated. but everybody knew it was a real simple thing. really didn't warrant that kind of income and he said this was all negotiated into the contract Right. And then Japanese were making these cars that were goddamn bulletproof.

50:26 These goddamn, like the first car I ever bought. I can't, I had a Civic. The unions aren't the problem. He wrote a book on depression and one of the major causes being the way people live their lives without control, doing things they don't want to do. And by the way, And my whole thing is like, people are like, why do you still, you know, you can't use Amazon.

52:23 Oh, that's right. What you gotta do is you gotta get an old car, Definitely. That car show is, that's the show I wish he would have been doing all along. Well, you know why? Joey Lawrence. And he blows his brains out It would be like if Dave Chappelle, before he did Chappelle's show, He made fun of corporate America we were like what did you miss everything like what the fuck are you doing you know what i i was

55:32 So I'm like, this is my one chance to get on the Jay Leno show. And Bill just didn't believe in doing comedy for everybody. And I heard stories about Jay that he loved to watch hacky comedy. after he would hunt down I'm sure it's true and I'm like holy fuck that's what i that's what we do well he just turned everything mild His show is fun. That show

57:49 passionate. Like, he seemed to be Jay Leno was just like, well, you know, making everybody happy. You know, shit like that. right and Peter Fonda and so it was really good It's funny how hard he goes. Who the fucking thought, huh? I get that you're applauding that he broke a if Hillary Clinton, if he said, Even the media is, yeah, and the media goes along. Yeah. This is what it's like. And you're like, what? Even the media is, yeah.

1:00:42 What does that mean, collusion? treason to now he's just regular corrupt like everybody else because let me tell you something economy so what people don't know is that in the early 70s Richard Nixon took our country off the It's why we're in Yemen right now. are we in Africa? Everything It's not about liberty. And, you Yeah. It's okay. for puritanical reasons,

1:03:40 There's nothing wrong with that. I hope you're triggered too. Yeah, there you're you're you're putting this pressure on them you're fucking up their life could you Like, I just never, I don't get that. There's women who hate men. I mean, he's a maniac. There's no way it makes any sense, right? What's really interesting is seeing how they're acting about this in France and in Europe.

1:07:02 They're just different over there. They'll get mad at you. makes a move on this girl because she's the prettiest girl around right so I didn't do anything You want to? You're just a fun guy to hang out with. Good. Because I didn't want to be that guy at the club. I guess now that I look Yeah, I didn't want So I would tell her, i remember the first night we were

1:10:01 to each other and the next thing you know look there's been many times in my life where I wound up having sex with somebody who turned out to be crazy. There was no text messaging back then. Well, I get too many phone calls from people I don't know. You don't know, right? It was just a person you know? And you're asking for money. And I go, what? Isn't that fucked up?

1:12:25 My own parents and other people's parents. Well, maybe that's going to happen to me because it's unconscious. But it was helpful to me You don't even know why you're doing what you're doing half the time. was just very demanding and he stopped doing stand-up less and less, and he was a pretty funny guy. And he got this girlfriend that was just very demanding,

1:14:25 it tanked them. everything you can. You've seen everybody else drop off like flies. I'm like, I have to go up four or five nights a week. You know, I can't, I don't know what to tell you. That's the thing that's up. She's got an eye for it she understands it but i have friends whose wives hate comedy and they do stand up and that's crazy and they They settle. Yes.

1:17:01 And so she bought me a suit so I could go on interviews to get a job she wanted me to Yes. One of our own got on. And in the car ride wow, Jimmy, that was great. It was a big deal. It was a big deal for us. One of our own got on and in the car ride home, She knew that I was going to be a comedian and not married to her. I met Jim in 1991 or 92. Right.

1:18:36 You don't know, can I work in a room? There's no handbook. But May, June, July, August, September, October, November, seven months, most likely I'll have Like when I'm ready, I'll call you. once the act that you saw that you thought was funny, No, so I did, this is funny, right? And it kills. and put it on my own thing I'm thinking of Seeso. Yeah. Wasn't it?

1:21:34 I was thinking that Paul F. Tompkins bit about Crackle. It's so funny. and meeting all my heroes in comedy, to me, that was a headier time. No, don't come in the tank. But the Float Lab in Venice is my spot. the water is warm and you float and you can do it after the show if you want. So I try meditating and it just hurts my back. I got to do something.

1:24:09 I know. You know? Do you exercise? No, I nice. Swimming's great. So he said those lines because of your bone issue? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now I hid my temper and my anger through my stand-up, and I was successful. I don't think that they should be mutually exclusive. You've just got to find out a way to make that rant funny on The View. Is this recently?

1:27:50 But I don't know. Somehow, all of a sudden now, it's like, again, Trump excites his lizard brain and all his critical thinking skills go out the window. and he was talking about how hypocritical it is to be standing there thing listen to him he's incredibly articulate he's I love the skill in like he's a prick to work with and stuff, and you go, well, fuck, what are you going to do?

1:29:34 You get crazy. Yeah. No. Look at this. Just fucking imagine the type of person that could do that. Ace in the hole, baby. Nobody disrespects his service except the President of the United States. Stormy Weathers? And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Never happened. doesn't have any shame right it doesn't work't work. That's it. If someone's not embarrassed, you cannot embarrass them.

1:32:34 I'm like, I call myself dumb. Yeah, that's what I do. It's not going to work. Look at that. rachel maddow or chris hayes says anything that costs MSNBC a nickel, they will be fucking fired. And then Trump excites their lizard brain and she's Um, on my show. Could I steal that phrase? Anything that opposes the other side must be good, right? You keep coming at him that his guy with the battered wife,

1:35:19 all the benefits of this recovery and they're like, hey, lesser of evil voting isn't working. Right? and we're going to try to get white-collar Republicans. You know that Nissan has 49 go, why do the Democrats keep caving? but they didn't. of shit when you say donald trump is an existential threat to our country and a maniac and he has his finger on the button, and then you vote to give him $160 billion more in bombs, I think you're full of shit when you say he's an existential maniac.

1:38:41 The only reason they hate Trump is because he ain't part of their fucking club. more than when I would talk to and then he went on to sexually harass again There was another woman running in that race, and it was Jill Stein. that's why so many people were crying on television. I get that. Because they were watching an Avengers movie. Ha, ha, ha. Slavery is back.

1:40:43 But let me ask you a question, Joe. You know, they have these things that they do, and they have tied... And they're very upset right now But they did a For what? Yeah, she called him a fucking hero. it's a conspiracy theory. And you say Seth Rich was a patriot. Seth Rich, They said it was a boss robbery, but no one took anything from him, You're a conspiracy theorist.

1:43:34 pushing that story because he Well, not only that, this is a real, look, this is a guy who is a real Bernie Sanders supporter. If you don't think that's a little weird, what are you looking at? He's a patriot in a lot of ways. I mean, it's very rare you have someone who's not flawed. He was polite. He took us from two wars to seven. And also, they were like the worst when it came to the press.

1:46:51 And everyone turned their head. with conservatives and then he wrote a book called listen liberal which came out i think two years It opened my eyes to all the, You just were supposed to owe her your fucking votes. She said in the book, Donna Brazile said her health was so bad, They said she was hot. up fast she i mean it's true if hillary couldn't stood up fast her eyes would roll back behind her

1:49:19 And the ignoring of that case is a real symptom of what is wrong with this toxic tribalism. I'm a cage-fighting commentator. I mean, I'm just not. How come his watch was there? How come they didn't take his phone? Whatever, whatever. They're trying to get a Halliburton guy to be their new, anyway. the amount of people that have been iced Right. off on. There was all these other agencies that had to

1:52:24 pretty English in Russia? They're so corrupt. And I believe that fucking guy. richest country in the world that's the problem joe and that's what people are if you think it's He did. That very well could have been Do you think that it's a good thing to have someone as fucked up as he is, like, in terms of, like, how we view a president? 5.1 million families out of their house,

1:55:28 speeches to the Carlisle Group and some other people. I had half a million bucks a crack. So Chris Hedges says they steal right out in the open now. Yeah, I mean, it was brilliant. That fucking Debbie Wasserman She loses to a fucking game show host that we really concentrate on? It's right there. it was uh and by the way people are going to mistake everything i'm saying for defending

1:57:37 I just remembered you as being bald, even though until you do it, and then you realize. Yeah, I don't need it. And that's exactly how I feel. Wait, wait, wait. That fucking thing bothers the shit out of me. Just real quiet. how do you keep going when you have 105 billion? Like what's getting you up in the morning? So Okay. I mean. which they've been doing forever, cloud seeding.ing but insanely expensive but they do it once a week

2:01:13 I couldn't imagine they would even dare. One guy wrote If you ever try to tell about a crime inside the government, then the government will use the Espionage Act to crack down on you. Yeah, a valid criticism. inside a very small window of time he goes so i'm literally running i go you run he goes yeah you I was joking. But does it hurt? Run! I know they make it hard.

2:03:51 Yeah. we gotta break this company up. Wow. didn't have to pay taxes, the income tax for Amazon. Yes. Now, how many of those people use it for television? Transgender person. Right. But then I realized this is an actual thing with a lot of people that they're actually born to have the different feeling than their outside. plenty of people that think that age six is a fine year to start this.

2:07:04 Studies show that that's a good time. He's telling me how great it is to be married. Unless I'm an, if I, if one of my friends calls me a fucking asshole, I've made a huge mistake. And I don't know if that is why they would lean towards having six-year-olds take hormone blockers. be fucking insane. I mean, I understand there's a time and a place to say mansplaining.

2:09:42 Just like I said, the hashtag MeToo, we're all against sexual harassment at work, but we're not for puritanism. and what we're not willing to tolerate. and it was thought to be normal. what's the guy, I forget his name, but he took the grapefruit right in her face. Fuck. James Cagney. Oh, here it comes. There you go with that wishing stuff again. Wow, that is kind of a dick move.

2:11:32 Okay. People will be like, what the fuck movie is this? and what was wrong with the way people used to behave whereas it was just we were operating on I have to make up for it. It's very possible that Hendrix was murdered. different time. I bet a lot of people friends after that. Jesus. Jimi Hendrix, Australian girlfriend, Savage's new film, which shows rock star beating up her character.

2:14:25 him kidnapped so that he could release him, so that he could rescue him, so that he could keep Yeah. I don't know. The guy who shot that woman in the face. Like, he used to put guns in people's mouths all fucking time. Look at Phil Spector, right? The guy who shot that woman in the face. had musicians play and fucking jerry lewis and dean martin played there i mean oh really that

2:16:13 It's crazy that the store is essentially Yeah, that's really... It was a blast. it's soaked with history. Nobody worked out. That's Dean Martin, right? Wow, she got weird looking. He's probably hammered. It's hard to find out who that guy is. role models to do anything i grew up in this blue collar neighborhood i didn't want to do anything i do things like archery and bow hunting and stuff like that because it's fucking hard to do

2:19:07 It's like you're talking about doing stand-up, like Jerry Seinfeld saying, take four days off. That's how you advance thought. That's how you advance ideas and bits. That's how they progress. You have to feel that fucking uncomfortable feeling that everybody wants to avoid. Everybody afterwards to the condo, I have someplace I want to be right and I got to get there and if this helps me

2:20:37 But for me, I feel like that takes care of itself if you continue to improve. work and since I've been focusing on that the more I focused on that the Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm just being present the whole time. and it happened to me when I got news radio I was doing very little comedy and a recorder so I could record all my sets. Fantastic. That's awesome.

2:23:51 I was like, holy shit, I'm performing at the fucking garden. Because you're just mind fucking yourself. And they made it really hard to play the improv if you lived in Chicago. Yeah. camera's on oh my god i gotta get right gotta be relaxed i had one chain when i did my hour You know why? It's terrible, right? Great place. And I always remember about Hicks, when Hicks did Relentless.

2:26:13 she goes, he's really interesting, but he's not funny. That's what she said. I was like, damn, I always thought it was that Bill Hicks, it's hard to capture someone on film as a stand-up. of different sets, you find the right one you're at your couch, TV's just Obviously, the material's great, great And he did it in black and white. Oh. and people are watching it in their little room and it makes sense. Yeah, I definitely want to do

2:28:56 And then you're right there too. but in a different way because it's like it's more like really current event stuff like he's I'll definitely. I wonder how many of those people are watching it on TV though. I've never. Yeah, but sports. It was all these different things. it just was a lot, I like watching sports like, in the ring, And I've realized,

2:31:25 to be able to do. It just kind of rolls off of you. It just falls out of your mouth. Other people, That's what heightens everything, you know, when you're watching. That's the Is that he's actually And if they can life goes to ten and you're not you're not ever hitting the high spots you know you might be fine opened that up for me i went into those neighborhoods and i under and i i was like this is awesome yeah i fucking love this city

2:34:04 go make $50 to do comedy, you have to go to fucking work. Anyway, so that's Oh, right. And you're like, what is happening here? And I was like, what is going on here? time that happened to me i was i was working at uh zany's maybe i should too late and uh i was i And so she follows me into the bathroom and gave me a blowjob. You know? Yeah, it was.

2:36:33 She's like, road pussy is amazing. different you know one time i remember um i have a big mouth and everything and so when i started I don't even know how I said it or whatever, I heard you said you can't wait to work the road because you wanted to fuck me oh and uh she goes uh she goes did Totally changed. But I was a kid. She's like, oh, that's okay.

2:38:55 And you could say it to another person is exactly what they wanted to hear. I'll never forget this. No kidding! Like, all right. Go for three lemons. We're talking about Hashtag Me Too. And I always think – Well, unattractive women do, though. you become vulnerable. And look, with the opposite sex you see that from women there's a lot of women that i know that have

2:42:11 But to have this gross generalization about an entire gender based on what? you're just not sexually attractive to the opposite sex. So this is, i don't know i knew him he just became a woman hater. Some are, yes. 100... You probably don't even have an intimate relationship with trying to find mates, and we're trying to find companionship. And the reality of that is it is a

2:45:42 Good for you. Wait a minute. and they were, And she's like, Sarah Jessica Parker said you know she's a shitty person and she It's a scam. I don't follow that stuff, but whatever. You have sex in the city. Yeah, she released a sex tape. It's unbelievable. Strategically, yeah and keeping themselves out in the public eye. watch their shows i think the kim is really pretty um but uh i just think what it says about the

2:49:18 I mean, you could say that I'm being callous, but that's what happened. Dude, I had a bit about it in my last special. It's on Triggered on Netflix. I'm really glad you invited me. All right, we'll do. Grapefruit in your face.