Joe Rogan Experience #1088 — Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Thin nose. Well, that's a weird one. I wanted to get an ear reduction and a nose sharpening. Abe. Savage. And I'm just sitting there and I get so mad. I had to tell him that I'm getting, my heart was beating. Whoa. He had to work construction. in order to get stronger well when you um my friend who wrestled and played football on a and then drive it to a landfill called Lawton, I think.

3:48 Your body would just naturally get stronger. I worked with a guy named Boo Jack in D.C. That was probably his one name, right? Just a giant, with one name, I'm like, He might be wearing what you're wearing right now. Yeah. You know, they have a new guest judge every week. But it was just nice to meet him and see that he's a nice guy. But now I'm like, why?

5:59 You never know when you're running into people. you can catch them in a terrible moment or a great moment but you can't decide And I bet she's a lovely lady. Even though we all believe in equality, we all want to be not equal. getting their face tattooed yeah like it's like what slow down yeah slow down it goes back to You're like, shit, what do I do?

8:46 Jazz, dude. What is it, you think? A lot of it might be just also that there are two avenues open to you in a lot of black And what is that, though? who's like Jamie, Yeah. but he wasn't the kind of freak athlete LeBron is. Certainly seven feet is not that uncommon. I mean, some of them can be like a fist off of eight feet. But if you look at the athletes

12:15 However, having said that, you can hear Deion Sanders talking, watching this white running back, 215 pounds. Sure, but there's no, I don't think there's any black cornerbacks in the NFL. their body. Yeah, but I don't know if that kind of Arthur Ashe was obviously a tennis champion. Italian-American tennis players either. it just happened to be of the rich upper crust. Well, you need need a coach you need a lot of stuff with tennis you know it's

14:08 It takes a long time. Dude, nobody cared. They get mad. deal with the fact that there's so many and he's got smarts. And sometimes it's true because sometimes when you have physical attributes He's just all heart and will and toughness, and I love that. Yeah, that whole thing, that extreme winners, all the different shit that's happened in between. Just think about

17:14 Why were most of the people that revolutionized the human condition male? there's another really interesting theory even if it doesn't really bear any relation that literally, to the exclusion of everything else, Every now and then you get someone that just is an outlier. We let him drill under the city. he wrote a book called how to fix the future and uh also a book called the internet's not the answer

19:56 On just accident put the periods in the right place and the spaces in the right place and the commas in the right place But you know, this raises an amazing question, right? this planet. We've actually never seen this kind of concentration of wealth. Luckily, guys like So because of that, they're more left-leaning. Facebook, Amazon, and Apple. And I think when you have that kind of money, like idealistic hippie left-wing dreamers are way better off

22:48 That's his pit stop when he comes back. uh the the ridiculous aspects of uh progressivism like they just go so far off the charts and it's Shout them down because you're terrified. Yeah. And smart and thought through. Her fucking podcast is called progressive factual feminist. war on boys she's excellent she's excellent but i think a lot of this is like one of the things i

25:22 1100 people, he only had one friend who smoked, and that was Christopher Hitchens. People are way less easy to pigeonhole. got to get rid of you and if we can get rid of racism as if racism has anything to do with it you're a homophobe by the way you're having a moment we'd have no problem in Yuval Harari's everybody should read it Maybe you're just racist.

27:53 Nua in the Nua language means original people. we don't need color to hate each other we definitely don't we would find something it would and that's because we used to do that exclusively. they've been suppressed yes sometimes that's true right nobody can tell me you don't understand the If you start talking about the fact that their culture and the way they, their beliefs, their

30:38 and whether it's female genital mutilation that they do to children on a regular basis hey why are we macheting each your environment very few people have and you try to figure out if you can get a flush. Exactly. I'll be the first to admit pisses me off is that I much conflict. uh, pattern that everybody locks into because it's support gay marriage it's like all these things

33:19 So is that being affiliated with a party or a candidate? fucking number of hate emails we got you do not want to give up those guns and and yeah and and Well, you know, he's like, the government has drones, right? is someone who works in the military. some global elites I think some of it most certainly does, and dealing with trauma and dealing with violence

35:44 They just want to shoot before they get shot. his baby in the backseat. these different things where there's a dirty guy There's that's just people the number of honorable police officers is actually pretty fucking stunningly positive Like we tend to jump to, so if you, if there's a problem, if it's a very, if it's a very, I mean, not even close. Far more people die from all the various pharmaceutical opiates that's exactly right i mean

37:54 Oh, my God. I got it. I've had that happen before where I was thinking I was a little bit sick, and then I worked out, and it just gripped me. just feels off. in my family was sick. Everybody's getting cold. It's the move. now i feel great yeah i feel great yeah me too i ate breakfast it worked out yeah i'm healthy from a full stomach. Yes. when adam smith was writing the wealth of nations the fucking handbook for all capitalists and free

41:17 compassion i think that as a civilization we haven't hit we haven't hit the right number Either you're just a nomad who likes camping or you're mentally ill and you just need to sleep in a box because you think that's the only way I mean wouldn't that be It would cost about $20 billion for the government to effectively eliminate homeless lists in the United States,

43:32 Oh, you lazy fuck. And what happens is there are a lot of people that get this network. lend itself to really needing to get out of a situation right yeah but how many of these kids are planning this out like this with a game in the system a lot of them it doesn't lend itself to really needing to get out of a situation right yeah but way more resources than you think. There are people that have worked very hard to address this

45:45 And medicated. That actually wasn't, it was a little bit more complicated than that. You can't do that because somebody talks to themselves. They're incompetent. Sometimes it gets ugly. Of course, because you have a doctor And did you know that ADHD was something that, wasn't that the one that was created? Yeah. He's out of his fucking mind because he thinks we're going running.

48:27 I take him running. Just think about what I'm saying with my dog. There it is. I know quite a few people that are drugging their kids. It does some bad things to him. bouncing off the walls It has very bad side effects Schools have no time for it. Oh, my God. British pediatrician, so it must be a wrong one, a different one, Damn it. Dr. Kelly Brogan? It might have been. Might have been Kelly Brogan. Dr. Kelly Brogan.

51:21 Wow. And you could try to find the try this one. and what the fuck does feel good mean? Now, now you're going to give me drugs. Well, that's not going to help me because what I'm and then taught things in between workouts, taught things in between class, Can you think of picking it up? It sucks. Got a little self-esteem problem. Why do you smell like a leopard seal?

54:59 And I heard a voice in the back over there goes, It's the best part of you. You know what you got to figure out how to do, I think, not you, but I think humans, Okay, But right now, that little thing that happened that sucks, the consequences of doing something incorrectly. And especially the humiliation feeling of being Brilliant guy. Kind of an interesting way of looking at it i was like i think there's definitely something

57:41 Sure, sure. maybe shortcomings right so when somebody says some somebody something to you like uh you're not Summers down or you want to get into your safe space and not hear those things because they hurt you, this is why they're categorizing. And they were yelling outside, And everyone inside is super calm They'll be shot. and you end up hitting them

59:57 what the fuck they're doing. It's crazy that they don't have enough security to keep the fucking kids from banging on the windows show them that that that there are consequences for that you you know that's a new way of looking they've done to, especially to disrupt free speech. They should really be embarrassed by these people that are interrupting people, that are only looking at an argument from the point

1:02:29 This is not the time for that. to send out a flag They're in their tribe. They don't know what that means. It's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life. Because they were like, why is comedian Kars having coffee all white guys? Exactly. Because there was a woman. Most of the people that go to argue with that. And he's But I feel like everybody pulls out the microphone,

1:04:56 Well, they teach that at schools now. You might even realize you're racist and you are racist. What? And crying. All this thing, all of what's going on right now does not concern me nearly as much as it does a lot of other people. Yeah. There's definitely people that are bored with Hollywood, though. on guys it's a long time ago. They want to sign a petition and bring him back in the country.

1:07:35 that's where i draw the line you can't drug kids and them in the ass i mean asia argento She was somebody who thought Roman Polanski should not be prosecuted for something that That's very common. We should make sure that she definitely did that. that doesn't make any sense to me you know it just doesn't make any sense man Man. making movies in like what the 1970s right yeah i mean god chinatown it's only amazing yeah amazing

1:10:30 I already felt it was a mistake. And there could be a little of that in her decision-making process, too. Right. But isn't she being consistent by just saying that she fucked up and she realized that she fucked up? What's interesting is, like, would it be better karmically to go to jail for what he did, And it just keeps playing out in his head all day long

1:13:03 to that and well especially if you actually have a daughter. It was just a weird concept. It didn't seem real. but now you think about this 13 year old girl and you're like whoa but i'm doing it i don't know i don't know all. So what happens is we start, and we're doing this too, and I'm doing it. There's no context. But that doesn't mean nearly as much to me.

1:15:01 You know what I'm saying? That's what I mean, right? And these are people that go into this job But Hollywood's almost exclusively liberal. Yeah, that's a very real thing nowadays. How many moments in your life do you really have left? Do have a thousand like what are you gonna do you're gonna waste 400 of them on Twitter yeah that's not wise that's not a wise thing he said

1:17:23 You think so? Those are the things they think of. Most people. Hard to change my mind. Bro, you fucking changed your mind. Yeah, exactly. It's totally different human.? I was a different person. I don't remember that. And I would see people that had their shit together and I would really admire them. Like, look at that guy, all composed and shit. And watching how good she was at raising kids

1:20:24 or whatever you want to call it women are all thinking this, women are... really inspirational fantastic people that also have vaginas yeah there's a lot of them what a almost no fucking backgrounds. You got Nigeria in this Everybody's kind of working toward a common goal. Yeah. iron is that like all that stuff is important for your body I think you have

1:23:29 They have to be touched by another human being. tons of energy. God damn it. It just depends on your body. over here in a boat yeah start fucking each other yeah and oh look at you allergic to cats It's weird, man. I get the best goat milk in the world from the Amish. It's really good, but it's ultra-pasteurized. family farms versus factory farms. Awesome, Brian. Never done a day of farming in my fucking life.

1:26:58 The problem is that You need the money. and I go to the next farm The guy's going to go, the real problem with factory farm is the lack of moral standards like when they shove these It's how you feed a lot of people, protein. and stacked them up with people Because there's no fucking food, man. It's not a ridiculous idea. They're going to have to put it everywhere.

1:29:35 chewing up rabbits and rats. Yeah, I know. what would you do with all those cows what do you do with the cows now they would die off and then They become this thing Really? Yeah, they're dangerous as fuck. who shot that buffalo probably lived in the wild for many, many, many generations. They're huge. Look at the size of Look at the muscles on that thing.

1:32:32 Fuck. It would be similar. You can milk them. Is it, though? And you were drinking wine? I go, every night. But I want to look good on the Coburgs. Like farts that if you were in a chair with wheels on it, you could fart and it would scoot you across a carpet. Almond milk. That just bites someone's joke. Don't they... After they've been It's dirty almond water.

1:35:26 Vegan milk. and plants to harvest eight fatty acids Cholesterol is, by the way, the building blocks of all cells. It's yeast, by the way. That's where I get my protein. Well, you definitely don't want that in your body, then, do you? weird the this is a i also believe in many ways is left-right thing that the left believes in climate change science

1:38:03 Did you see Brett Weinstein's, They were talking about They're shutting Yes, it is. Again, is it left and right or Shitheads. I think a lot of them want to belong. I think a lot of them just want to Yeah. i like what's going on i like that there's a lot of fucking chaos and definitely some people are taking some unnecessarily bullets. I had a bunch of women on my podcast.

1:41:16 And, Now I just feel like I, katie goes wow i can't imagine what that's like brian what's it like to have to watch it watch a regular sized guy alone with you he could probably like hold you down it we've all done it yeah you'd be like oh no like that's gotta be a terrible feeling Beautiful. You got a strong jaw. It's hard for you, too. found Tony Soprano attractive.

1:44:07 I know. Thick up. just he could fucking tear it up man what was the movie where he played a um hit Fuck, he's great in everything. He just killed him right there. Yeah. There's never been a show like that. wrapped up into one Yeah. who's gonna rat him out yeah you know but that that that show is an interesting like kind of If what you did is true, if what I've been, what I've read and been told is true, I don't know how I'm supposed to forgive that.

1:48:18 What happened? That was ridiculous. but he was trying to be funny. or you're putting pressure on them. Their husbands and their wives. It's not gonna make anybody happy. Because you're talking about major money. You're talking about talking about major fucking yeah it'll be a robot with a No more working together. 40 years. Yeah. Men and women have never worked together yeah so

1:50:52 when men and women get around each other. So there's no sex. And you're not racist, but you were just trying to be funny. Yeah. Yeah, ha. And there's some white people that do not have a fucking good deal. country that have less than that in their bank. Well, this is what I always say. The people that voted their kids to baseball, etc. Six in ten Americans don't have $500 in savings.

1:53:03 Yeah. Roughly. Are you thinking about how misogynist everybody is? You know what Brett Weinstein said that was really interesting about this? Eric is a mathematician who works for Peter Thiel. He's super, super, super progressive too. And they're giving into it to show that you shouldn't punish me because I'm on your side. easy to whip them up when you got the right circumstances and the right leader. And men

1:55:39 to them and there was a bunch of men that gravitated towards pool halls. And in the early 1900s in New York City, there was more than 900 pool halls in New York City. It was too hard. But wait a minute. Like, well, how am I going to have power over this man if I can't control his sex? And I have to control his sex if we live together and then I control his sex then I have all this power

1:57:12 like under the table. straight into hoeing. They know it's fake, though. And that's why, and you stick to the woman. Get your dick sucked. Are you dating specifically for sex? What I'm saying is there's a lot of relationships that wouldn't be the same. It was the best. the biggest federal penitentiary in the world. have sex. I fucked him. Let these fucking people have sex.

1:59:59 I believe in Jesus, but I love dick. We have these urges, and They figured out a way to create an actual hour and 45 minute Black Mirror. Wow machina is amazing yeah I do love things yeah and they are they're funded by DARPA. Yes. It's from DARPA. I'm like, why are you highlighting DARPA? Yeah, it's a real thing. Yeah, it's a real thing that the same people that are making those boston dynamic robots you know you see the one

2:03:25 the Yeezy Mafia today. Dude, you like your any makeup. She's pretty and all, but it was just like, Like they just live. It's ambition, right? no dancing, no art, no comedy. I dress normal. That's where I get my meat. have decided I'm really interested in doing some adventures some year especially like hunting adventures i Actually, I don't know if they have axis deer.

2:06:09 thing man yeah that's what he shoots fuck that's amazing look at that thing i know it's like uh They do they kick each other in the balls when they were learning they're like be like jockeying for attention Oh, dude. Yeah, look at these fuckers. Well, they're probably dumb as fuck. It's not like they're running with their head down. No one is like, bitch, I'll hit you again. And then I'll hit you again.

2:08:33 And then they're both like, what is happening here? Oh, I see angels. But they just stop. Like is there some burst of happiness that comes out of that? They were in my yard. Is it their brain or the You remember when you shot turn into jackets Yeah. You got to put a bandaid on it. I gotta really cut and you're in the wilderness because they wear new boots

2:11:28 Like, hey, poor woodsmanship? I remember just hearing you going, camping blows. We have the greatest time, too, though. where we struck out. We went bow hunting 100 degrees. TJ Dillashaw told me he was up in the mountains of Nevada, and it was super cold. which is the outer skin, off of the bone. Yep. If you kill one and skin one, they have little mites and shit that will give you infections that you can die from.

2:14:27 Look how quick that shit's growing. That's nuts. Nuts. Okay. Pause right there. 5, 6, 7, 8, female has antlers. And they're like, what is this? Sonora has a lot of mule deer. They don't have time to go looking for some asshole shooting a deer. He goes, they own a lot of these resorts, dude. restaurant and if you're selling drugs out of your restaurant they want a piece otherwise you're fine

2:17:53 and we see a military base. That's what it's for. Because it makes sense. I mean, why else would that be there? And where was it that he was at? Yeah, and he was like hey there they're railroading me. I gotta get the fuck out of here And they were saying that it was him. Maybe. Here's my question, though. What did it say? But it's entirely possible that dude was just partying his ass off in Belize.

2:21:17 What's he do for money? when the ruling elite has the power to do whatever they want, Yeah. That seems like I love that guy. That guy is under protection. his family homeless. I think what is his last name? Gagero? They were listening to his phone calls and his emails, Netflix man but it just shows you like what it could be like in other countries If you want to use – if you want to be – if you don't want to believe in things like due process, integrity of courts and all those things, if you don't want to believe that you should have a right to criticize your government, I know it works for you right now because the person in power is on your side.

2:24:26 Now, that's all changing. You know what that means? So the congressional districts are essentially, they're redrawn About 35 of the 435. And they do it, and this has been well documented, Lawrence and then Lessig. When you even say campaign finance reform, everybody zones out. Yes, he had some good ones. That's so crazy. You know, there's one prince who's getting married that people seem to give a fuck about.

2:28:18 He said, King George said, if he said that, he's the greatest man to ever live. this works better. Well, the British always had a tradition of this. But it's kind of hilarious And one of the things that's given credit is that the British had this sort of religious idea almost. That would be considered fucking heresy. They're going to isolate it. But you would not. Yeah, you couldn You have to speak in code. You're right. I worry about that stuff. But you would not...

2:30:44 No, but the Brits were great innovators because they- believe they're going to be rich yeah that's a huge that's a huge issue now i have a lot of Right to your face. it's, Well, that's echoed by what you're hearing today about the elite, the one percenters, you know? What people don't realize is that wealth is always changing. You know, if you look at Google, Amazon, and Apple, and Facebook,

2:33:04 Yeah, I think it's going to eliminate all driving jobs. I think things are going to be automated in a way that... So nobody has a job? Yeah. I think it's going to is it manufacturing Burger flipping robot. You get an overcooked burger. you ever wanted you could watch videos on anything you could learn how to do anything online i mean And there's going to be a lot of us. A lot. There's going to be a lot of us. It's be pointless to have a person do that thing. And then we've got to decide what to do with all these people. And there's going to be a lot of us.

2:35:00 jobs that we know of now, at least in this The rise of European Western civilization. Write books. I mean, look at Netflix. happen as well but i think we're going to have to adjust obviously the advice we give to children our lifetime where it's not a smart place to be. wise it doesn't feel good yeah i know what spot it's just not wise it doesn't feel good

2:38:14 are all all those things are actually really possible I mean no one wants to If we don't look at this rationally, we can realize, like, how precarious we are. and people kind of leave for the weekend, leave all their stuff, struggles between like the United States and China, so the biggest advantage is The real question is would, unless they nuked us first.

2:40:47 It's not likely because we would attack back and that's mutually assured destruction, right? They were doing it on purpose. Yeah, me too. that we're going to have to face one day, If the Yellowstone blows, You ever see that Instagram page? they have thousands is this gigantic reservoir thought it was just like a hotbed of you know geosolar activity or what it would be not geosolar um geothermal geothermal activity you know they had old faithful would spray water up in the sky

2:43:48 miles, 50 mile long. Look at this, the region's most recent caldera forming eruption was 640 000 years ago creating Is that right? Oh yeah, you're fucked. So we're all dead. They just got this overwhelming sense of peace, and they were like, oh, I'm going to die now. question you're asking and where are you standing so there there are different forms of existence

2:46:01 He was talking about mathematics. He said, well, this is a reality to us because of where we are standing and the space-time continuum that we are occupying right now. And he said, okay, I guess the best way to put it is, Like in terms of the electrons, they're light years away, An order. So the way schools of fish, but, you know, schools of fish and birds.

2:48:07 It's one of the reasons why birds have some sort of internal compass and that they literally Yes. But for whatever reason, all of those neurons have self-organized who organized And I think the origin of that is probably is doing it. I guess I'm in. And then you start scientist who wrote a fucking great book but but very dense, called The Strange Order of Things.

2:51:11 territory so so watch bacteria actually behave the exact same way and you can put bacteria into those bacteria will be fucking shunned. incredible way and nobody's really no it's not like it's somebody, it's not a top-down thing. It's sort of a genetically programmed thing. So maybe bacteria is dictating how the fuck you behave. That's very important.

2:53:39 I feel more comfortable. I want to make sure I'm getting good food. That kombucha is fucking phenomenal. And then women drinks martinis blowjobs Like if you were a nutty person who drank Is it the same for me? And, like, they had a bunch of whole theories about that stuff. is eat healthy, right? I feel better when I do it. It's just different. I like a nice steak.

2:57:34 deep in your DNA. You eat a deer, he goes, for me, I have to eat You can't. Canada has antelopes? Maybe. They're an Asian deer, and their natural enemy is tigers. The arrow, once it left the string, was headed towards that thing at 280 feet per second, It's about 130 People get mad. Is that an antelope in Canada? No. Let me know. Yeah. hunt i can't believe how many there are there's so so many. If you're in Texas, they shoot them out of helicopters.

3:01:41 Tough as shit. One of the ones that I saw, there's one eating out of a garbage can in Asia. well it's just because of supply of food if they had as much pigs as as much that's it yeah they're the same animal. It's called Look at how long his snout is, man. his legs are and what a fucking beast he is like if you look at his legs you're like you got some

3:03:32 I don't know. There's your pay-per-view. What are you doing April 7th? I can come to that, I think. Ari's going to be there, too, although I'm not supposed to say. we've hired him to take sections of the podcasts that are funny folks so uh that's it for now my next gigs are the only thing that i have where there's some tickets available is New Orleans. New Orleans, which is March 15th, I think.

3:05:41 But the 23rd and the 24th, two shows each night, 23rd New Orleans. New Orleans on the 15th What are you doing? You're going to the wrong place. Or TFATK.com took the filling out, and He was sleeping his wife said you have to go to the dentist so why does your breath is so out of control? No way. She went. It's the worst.