Joe Rogan Experience #1094 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 So Jamie Vernon has some Facebook stock for sale. He's uploaded it to Craigslist. in the Trump campaign. They are most of the time how you get your your facebook like password stolen is from those things oh yeah uh their their stock has tanked i think it was like eight percent yesterday it's at eight and I have to see my sister talk about Trump every day.

2:37 And that's where all the fake news stuff is. throwing shit at you. They just literally It's like it used to you go to CNN and everything would be CNN Boom. I want to see that picture. I might be out and done with this, too. Well, the Snapchat Yeah, I mean, that was the second time that's happened in a couple weeks. Of course everyone wants to punch.

5:09 and then they get you involved in Cambridge Analytics, Lots of clicks? Lots of clicks? How could they do that? Well, Instagram listened, right? Yeah, nobody likes this nonsense. Or I'm going to be here tonight. What? So you can watch where trends or things are happening Is it just like a picture? and then you can just instant message these people out of the blue and go,

8:05 They Call Me Lucky. Is that what it's called? where if three strikes and you're out That was 20 years ago. and now this company has this little box, which there's a picture right here. You're not allowed to do it anywhere else. You can't do shit? Ooh, it's so exciting. You know, so like if you're selling shirts after a show or something and it has that built into it so you could just people

10:37 It's too much. airpods these are the best you do fucking siri with a double tap on your airpods it knows when The AirPods, they do fall off. It would be perfect if they hooked onto your ear. No one saw that coming either. I mean, it sounds amazing, but Siri is so stupid compared to Alexa. I think it probably is. I mean, if it's the same as the Android you tried that one? Yeah. I heard that one's supposed to be better too. I think it probably is.

12:52 working out. and you're like, triggered a ton of people just you doing that right there people always complain witch yeah what is that I would shoot that thing I would take it outside and Which one? And she has like a rap song. what kind of logic behind that is that? She? The movie with Yeah, but it probably would sound off like this. Photoshop, that's going to allow people

15:46 like if you heard it you go oh that's not brian that's a fake conversation put together from a here but it's pretty close to what it would really look like it's fucked it's good enough it's good your phone that sits in your pocket. while defeating us. president you know same thing you think well i'm just going to go meet God. No. You're giving birth to the robot empire.

18:28 And then people are like, oh, come on. People are flying. signal to your skin you know to yourself or you have to have somebody do it i could do it to that shit apparently makes you feel day. I'm scared of that shit. You know, I bet that's how you get into it. attention like anybody who lives in New York City you live in New York City filled with people. There's another one

22:06 is the argument for not living the way we live it's not the argument for taking a pill that kills Like, what? They would say, marron. Shows you're a moron. Gold sperm. Oh, so it is a sperm. It's jizz between your chest. Yeah, what? look at that catholic priest probably give them to, you know. It fucking does. I don't see any of them that look like that.

25:54 Everyone wears it. I wore one. God bless you. That's weird. Like human beings are way more aware of shit today. You're taking a baby day. Yeah, just the look. I really don't think that affects you. Unless freak me out. I think we've talked about this. But the way they look, right? Yeah, just the look. I bet if you trim pussy lips, it'd be easier to take care of that thing, too.

28:33 And the fact that the majority do that? everybody wash if you're getting aids or not getting AIDS based on the fact that you're circumcised or not circumcised, The whole thing's crazy. You're telling me Scientology can do it? especially someone who's taking in shit fucking ton piles of money. Yeah. So like... This is the argument that I've heard. Anyway, sidetrack.

31:11 you know and they're always kind of looking to improve their their bottom line and universal And doesn't a corporation also act to defend itself sort of like yes, can you? That's a disturbing one to me. Yeah. I've seen various things. Corporations seen as individual that they should just be They're saying, listen, you know, if you help me, I'll help you.

34:22 and I went crazy and got rid of it, we could get in trouble. and then obviously get preferential treatment and obviously get laws pushed. No, you got to take the hit the hit there fellow you can't do that my memory is dog shit lately. that's not directly to them for an individual, and then there's like Yeah. Which one was it called? to the government, making these suggestions that wind

37:10 fucking jobs at banks. And in the middle of talking to him, the guy realizes what's going on. complicated over here and i get it over pick it up aren't you glad you're not doing that though i know i don't rs's business They were doing fine. If my kids would do something good or we would make a promise like, hey, if you You can't replicate that online.

40:01 This is the time to start a new toy store. It was real nice, man. I'm thinking it might have been a woman, though. of stuff they had regular like action figures for comic books and stuff like that what are you doing modeled off of it was just like a creepy looking hooker chick i'm sure you can find a picture It's so good. I used to have a Steve Austin $6 million man action figure.

42:30 what is that? One of those was like Yeah, they decided how are we going to fight Star Wars toys? her waist like she gets so much shit because her waist is really small and like stuff that's What does it say? mirror, or gave them to girlfriends as suggestive keepsake. Interesting. Yeah. that's hilarious. the writer, theized by Lord. Who's Lord? Lord the writer?

45:24 She says, That's like how to lose weight on the back. It says don't eat and so that But I guess you're doing the same thing with He-Man, right? You know? It's always a woman. here. Oh, it's fat shaming. But just person or a public celebrity said i'm being fat shamed and it was a man fucking never right does Like people would get angry at Bert or angry at Tom.

48:49 What's interesting is like the guy that, the first place guy, the guy that actually, you Right? Oh, my God, that's insane. I didn't know they did it that fast. No, four-minute mile, right? Probably is. I want to go down to 1980. I lived in Boston faked the time She hopped on the T, and they busted her. That's 100% what I typed in. Put 1979. Wow. You know?

52:19 He's 800 pounds, and he's running out there. They would have sent a couple hundred bucks his way. They should have gave him that marathon shoe that they created just so that someone could break two hours and see if Bert could be the one. Maybe. i like barefoot running like i run with the smallest tiniest amount of soul and it's changed and if it was like cement

53:41 those for those running shoes. And the idea was It would have made my movement in and out is like a layer of protection These are the ones that I've been using a lot lately. So it's a good tread on the bottom, and it protects you from sharp rocks. Zero. as soon as it dries up, I'll go back to those Vibram FiveFingers. And your feet don't move right.

57:06 They don't grip the ground. Those are city ones, huh? You don't have a raised heel. is always in this weird position where your back the back heel is elevated so your tendon is not They're always leaning on one side. So if you're wearing a sneaker that has like a heel to it, or something like that. your feet stronger yeah this doctor that Dr Scholl thing you can do to like put your foot on it and

59:54 Like what, what are the issues, you know? this like fly net material so it stretches with your foot yeah do you like that yeah i mean it I mean, they have some shoes. They have those hard ones for people that work out. I do everything barefoot, all lifting, all lifting either barefoot But here's the thing. It's just skin fungus. There's no chemicals.

1:03:06 I use it every day. Sweaty dick in the jungle. get to a shower in time it's totally likely that you could get it. But I guarantee you your recovery time But that's one of the Took out Tammy Faye Baker. Yeah. That's what took her out. that's pretty scary. Diet Coke's so bad for you. Took out Tammy Faye Baker. That motherfucker's invincible. What? Let me see that again.

1:05:45 They blurred out the guts. That would be fucking dope if they found some new crazy-looking dinosaur-type fish right off the coast of Georgia. There's so much down there that we don't know. when we haven't even figured out He didn't break the record. like they're almost six miles down 35 797 feet is the actual record what in the fuck man The curve of the earth, like...

1:08:12 Is this the guy? What in the fuck? see um google astronauts dna didn't change the way you think it did i think um we just don't because I know I saw it on something else. NASA says University of Tennessee's graduate gene's expression changed by about 7%. you're not an identical twin to your brother anymore. They're doing it on purpose. There's videos of people dying from rabies on YouTube

1:10:50 Why do we need people to die 100% naturally? it really is like a zombie disease for dogs right yeah for dogs or animals they get it they oh my I mean, the guy's foaming at the mouth mouth twitching and bucking while he's strapped to They created a way to combat diseases that killed untold millions i mean think about the Yeah. But what they've Yeah, because it's the flu.

1:14:22 and sometimes a strong fear of flying. Yeah. animal system and makes the who are toxoplasma infected and motorcycle accidents yeah they're more likely to get They get erect at the smell of cat urine sometimes. and then they shit out cat shit Yes. in the water and live. into a plant that can eat a rat? It's like, what the fuck? Earth. We were talking about

1:18:34 and they end up dying and then being decomposed and the plant sort of like Yeah, it's crazy. And the other ants recognize that this is a problem, that this thing died with these ants. Love shit like that. It's fucking nuts. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. I mean it really is And I don't know how the ants know this, how is that any different than like and the ants look mushrooms

1:21:11 So those mushrooms wouldn't be psychedelic? and they started noticing that it helps people and they did some pretty great results with it and they started noticing that it helps You know, Most likely that they were doing steroids. They had a state-sponsored drug program. but guess what? I definitely feel an extra gear, whatever the fuck they can get away with whatever the

1:23:37 Well, he's not dead. He might as well be dead. He's on his way to dead. He's incredible horrible critical condition Oh, no. Pull up a story on him. It is unthinkable that we would do such a thing. Okay. Everything's bullshit. It's all craziness right now. How is that possible? The guy is in Scotland, and he's a proud shit poster. his girlfriend off he decided

1:27:03 to do this Have you seen the video? That's one thing up until sometime next month. Yeah, that's what I said. What is the, pull up the video. I'm trying to figure it out. It's giant. Please proceed. Do you want to gas the juice? More. oh wow oh that's it man that sucks that It's crazy. That's it. Oh, that's it. That's what that is. That's the same thing. And the people that think that inappropriate this is what it is that's what that

1:29:52 but here's the thing. No Jews got but to put that guy not only to put him on trial, but to fucking convict him and But, like, if you talk about sex, I think it's Scotland. about those other countries don't talk about? why would I go there? clean shows in my day where I got a gig, and I could sort of squeak by Sometimes censorship can be a tool, though, for writing.

1:32:31 oh just take this out i could say it in one word it makes you understand the economy of words better But it's not because it's the subject Did you see what happened with Hannibal the other day? Well, you can't do colleges, man. Colleges will pay you some serious cash. like fucking olivet michigan some university there and some weird university in the middle

1:35:07 It was crazy for an unknown comedian. They can't take certain – they can't take a lot of sarcasm. They're just going to join academia as well. where nothing is produced nothing is created and having them accept it and mimic that as well but I think the subject, shows you how right now how stupid it is. up saying that he identifies Yeah, but I thought YouTube banned him as well.

1:39:23 Either way. People are trying to control what people do and don't say. it might be YouTube check either way um Noam Chomsky said something about Yeah. that you could get infected by like say shit posters if shit posters just they're more they're We have to figure out a way to stop people from talking about the wall. And now it's going gonna be this swarm of

1:42:32 You know where they can hold this too much. Here's the thing about YouTube dealing with who knows how many videos every day I mean it's insane how could I mean, I believe her, because this is not about opinion. So are you saying that you can never make a joke about a guy's dick? And then they say that it's up for – we have it up for manual review sometimes.

1:45:11 or are they doing that to do whatever they want. james demore pointed out about google it's like they don't leave any room whatsoever for interventionist policies they agree with? It's not good because it's not open speech. Because you don't want to be demonetized. Whatever you're making it for in the first place, you presume that someone was just making it to make it.

1:47:53 So don't talk about that subject anymore. They're not going to give you But it's not a good argument. I guess what, this is not monetized. other reasons that it happens of every single video. A monetized So that even reinforces not on the internet. I understand what you're saying. What are the rules? Here's the thing. No, there's not that. Right, but the thing about Vimeo is the difference in the numbers is so radical.

1:51:15 if you get banned on youtube you just get a new gmail address and now you have a new fucking thing look at kiddie porn you're you'd over to a friend's house and look at kiddie porn, No. But here's the question. Disney's latest research project can turn scripts into virtual reality? So this is just the early version of it. it. That's just sort of what they're saying.

1:53:20 You're going to have a fucking headset on, and you're going to be reality based on your suggestions I could get it to lift up off the ground if I thought a certain way. It's trippy. This... Full mousers with just eyes. Oh, my God. Yeah, if you try to play Quake on this, they're going to fuck you up. The book. Have you ever heard of Ready Player One this Friday. What is that? The book.

1:55:37 Whew. Like, I was just in Fresno the other day. Is that what it is? so I don't know. is that the movie also has, and the Iron Giant's in it and oh, Freddy Krueger's in it, and like Back to the Future car's in it, and Akira's motorcycle's in it, and the Iron Giant's in it, when you play Mortal Kombat Within a hundred years, we're not going to be people

1:58:10 He's 116 years old. And they find They would think, they would say, well, are they like wildlife? Did they start later than us? beings treat them like colobus monkeys in the jungle or like some fucking weird giraffe We think they're novel. they keep tribespeople, they keep the weird shit that's not going to fuck with them. Fuck that, right? Everyone's eyes are so stressed nowadays.

2:01:22 I go, really? He could see it. I'm going to have to bust out a lighter like a fucking concert. That's one of the things that I like about that Right Room app. I'm sure it's better, but we're still fucked. put in your eye and you never have to wear glasses again. It's not for sure yet, but it's not even out yet, obviously, either. Wow. Whoa. stormtrooper your eyeball

2:04:24 like they're gonna figure out a better way in like five years. Mm-hmm. Yeah. hell yeah even i heard that you could do things for the mouth now, like teeth, regrow, uh, we're thinking back like 20, how much of it is going to be nanoparticles mixed with stem cells and they just fucking regenerate your whole body and you've kind of replaced yourself with some fake zombie body with nanobots

2:07:16 And gut. You always heard that? Your mind is the only thing that controls your perspective. Your head has to be in order. What? There's not more. what is this a dream this is a dream or do i remember some shit i did when i was five but it wasn't me like think about your memories of being five And they have that shit just bouncing around their head.

2:10:12 well I think it's do they know that for sure yeah which is um one of the more interesting things about some of those neuroprotectant plants It's like you're a new person every eight years. you remember your memories that all of our memories are like these weird whispery stories I'm like, that isn't even me. special about the selfie. Like, like somewhere along the line, people change the way they pose

2:13:15 There's no way she could have been there. I mean, you saw Jumanji, the girl in Jumanji, the really pretty girl who's obsessed with taking photos of herself. Either one of them. That guy below, the boxer, looks like it's not even like he's trying to be tough. Well, look at the way they would hold their hands up too. you couldn't do that. You'd break your hands. You had to be much more judicious with where you just flowed with punches and got crazy with punches. You couldn't do that.

2:15:22 they just decided they're going to try to lean away from the punches more and just kind of jab at each other with knuckles you can't just wade in like and then you have a bunch of guys that have, like, one kind of style, like clearly who's that referee that boxing referee that it's been like in a Do boxing referees ever go to the UFC? Oh, it's a still video.

2:17:23 But he's a good referee. Terrence Crawford beats your ass and then talks shit after you get stopped. applying for MMA The reason why he might do this is to get him to fight Conor in an MMA fight. It's not just getting screwed. Because if you think Floyd is all of a sudden going to become this fucking one-punch destroyer, He'll kick them from the outside.

2:20:31 Fuck. cuts across your forehead, slices you open like a fucking melon. I wonder if he's done any training at all. Because with CM, you've got a guy who's been training in MMA for a long time now. you know, Mickey Gall started his career, I want to say 130, 135. if he has a good guillotine, that's what I would say. on people that know how to defend.

2:23:49 But it's also possible that Floyd can win. With a dude who's fast as fuck with 6 ounce gloves. That would just have to be... He'd get killed. He'd get a Ronda in him I believe that. Because he could just go into boxing. You know how much money you have to spend to fly everywhere in private jets look at that the money team time piece oh. Look at that. The Money Team timepiece. Oh, shit. Look at that.

2:26:40 Team. Go back to that again, please. Not on a watch, but when you go to sporting events, Yeah. Hey, look, man. go to see him fight hoping he's gonna lose and he always wins This is the way. It's kind of funny. We had Kurt Metzger on yesterday. He had three total, and poor Owen Benjamin got talked over. He's 6'7". Because he's been in upstate New York.

2:30:04 They're only 100 pounds. That's why polar bears are the biggest fucking bears. from 10 to you weigh and how many times your feet are walking around. Although I have found recently that 10 and a half fits better for me in those five finger shoes for whatever reason. But I just did this new step cardio thing by mistake the other day, and it killed me.

2:32:11 He's a silly boy. Oh, so he went to cryo healthcare then? No, cry. when you're in there because it's, you know, it's going, Joey Diaz just did it the other day. He would, whatever that, when there was a slider, used to come in there during you know like whatever the fuck year it was when You've got fucking homeless people will live in there I've got a car homeless. Right.

2:35:10 in the woods and he just runs every day. And they're all like looking for this guy. And he lives in this tiny little thing. And just runs all the time. He's just constantly pushing himself, but he's talking about this. He's got... He's really thought He doesn't look like, you know, he's going to enter any bodybuilding competitions, Dude, this guy never even heard of sunscreen.

2:37:25 I'm not really sure what he does for funds or if he tries to live off the land. How much does that watch cost? That's one of those GPS watches. That's like $ cheap watch. Yeah, how does he plan that watch? No, how much does that watch cost? Yeah, and over and over again. He tells skin cancer to suck his dick. lives a 76-year-old man by the name of Dag Abbey.

2:38:48 Abby is the oldest person to have ever finished the race elbow it's really shocking because i never had like real tendonitis before i didn't know how into shape, it takes like double the time before doing yoga. took him three months to lose it we should make tony get fat we should force feed him or something like that, He wasn't really trying to gain weight.

2:41:13 Yeah. they're doing what wendy's has always done they're using real meat you know just go to frozen yeah Pretty good. I don't like In-N-Out. Yeah. Steak and Shake. My bad. and cheat, which is awesome. You've got to get them spicy Cajun ones. That's not food. That might as well in my world, it's five guys You don't like Wendy's as much as In-N-Out? you say pickles on the side so it makes fresh every time oh you're tricky pickles on the side

2:44:53 I mean, I like Wendy's. but i just don't get the in and out shit at all you know what the best is that nobody nobody They need to expand. Eddie Bravo and I used to go to In the Sherman Oaks Galleria. What's ostrich taste like? It's supposed to be really high in nutrients, too. Yeah. at the store you doing the Ice House Phoenix next week Yes. Tour dates, everything.

2:47:38 What's that? Or M-U-N-Z. All right.