Joe Rogan Experience #1097 — Legion of Skanks Transcript

Transcript

0:00 We got a bunch of fucking skanks in the house! Long time coming. I'm going to tell you right now, and we really mean this, this has been a very, very long time coming. We're all so baked. We probably shouldn't be talking in public. But cheers. Cheers, Lewis is rarely impressed. and there's just bow and arrows left to their own devices and someone said,

1:53 conversation with a real estate agent yeah they're like what i'm like i need i need at least 40 yards You get a little punchy with your trigger. Like, couldn't you get it with superheroes? Because I don't want to do it in real life. So you just murder kids with a bow and arrow. Not in this country, I found out. is always like they've got that thing

3:49 As long as it's featureless. We had as a sponsor a flashlight. I've never even used it. there's like a portal. It feels real. No, you jerk off with it. We gave it to your producer. They're getting pretty good. thought about buying a dude one to do jiu jitsu with i was going to order one very clearly no dick There's nothing at stake if they live or die.

6:44 I'd want to see what the program was. There's videos of it. They were linked together, and they started communicating to each other And what they might have gotten is, like, Let's just hope it's that second one and not the first one. Like, what the fuck are we going to do? Elon Musk is terrified. I'll be honest with you. They're not exactly sure. I mean, it's hard to tell whether or not you'd be able

9:30 are going to take over. I trust them. The Tesla stops at olive. Essentially. look down at like the locals. Yeah. Crazy. I don't know. That's so surprising. and he loves it. He loves it. But then they all go and meet up in one town. we thought about doing a which it's funny the festival was influenced by the cruise because So what do you guys do? He's a piece of shit.

13:06 How many people have said that in Ari's life? you want to get Indonesian food at a place somewhere? but you come in here and you create an environment to play every day, and then they're like, yeah, but got to have retirement money, got to make sure I have this, got to make sure I yeah that's what i'll be like but then i've watched so many people who do get money and then they're like yeah but gotta have retirement money gotta make sure i have this gotta make sure i do that you know what i mean and that like just lives the

14:45 text me a Google-able question. large iPad to hold it sends a message like fuck you dude this person over here is more important than the person that's There's nothing like that in the wild. And you're watching YouTube videos. Feud. So it's not even just I live in New York City. just wondering when that cab is going to come whereas before you would just chill chill out and wait. Yeah, because you had to. You didn't have

17:58 on in the world so how do you check in on that do you just do it from a computer or like when you reads the books puts in the time in and it's kind of funny we say where would no, no, no, they need to play this defense, they need to go into a zone, that are really super aggressive about it. We saw it but it happened in a bunch of different cities. And it just seems bananas.

20:24 It's a rifle that's designed to shoot people, like in a military situation. But I feel like there's, like, a thing where they'll be like, well, I'm for a ban on semi-automatic weapons. They have kids that are in the fifth grade walking out of their classrooms. Some kid who's got some fucking power, some energy. I you know they don't ever yeah I can accept more in the

22:44 I knew my neighbor had a kid. Yeah, it's not a drug. And some of these people just need to find something that's interesting in life. Look, I did my work, right? a bottle would go flying through the air and hit the baby in the head and blood would be everywhere first thing that was coming up it was they would I think they were like paying Sure. So is that appealing to kids?

26:27 but he had his two little girls who were probably seven and nine years old, I don't even know. moms they were regular like mom bloggers right and they bring like their daughter to They had 8.5 million subscribers. you get what you figured out okay yeah don't but the problem is whenever we put something It's on another website. And it's not anything like more than her sitting in the bathtub, but those videos were getting

28:56 that was happening on YouTube They're just eating weird food and getting like whipped cream and ice cream and cake and nachos all together. But pedophiles are also jerking off to these girls putting chocolate bananas in their mouths. It's all connected. Come on. I didn't notice. right now when I will right here's a dick now if I say this is a four-year-old stick okay there you

31:39 I just, I don't know, man. Like, sometimes you just don't. Yeah. And that up until recently Yes, that's it. Two hours ago. It's not little kids clamoring to get married. That is so crazy. That's those places where professions are like moss gathering and making some sort of sap juice. That's a little bit too big of a gap. There's a bum fuck of every state.

34:58 where can I find a 13 year old It's like the dogma of like there's no difference between the sexes or shit like that is ridiculous. I didn't, she lived down the street. And the thing is, No, you're probably right. Like, she was fun to be around. I didn't even know what getting it up was. I was literally jerking off from when I was nine or eight. I remember the transition of not coming anything to when I actually shot a liquid.

37:41 No. off I went oh like this is what's going on like Like, I'm a junkie. Like, my body is, like, completely addicted to the idea of girls, right? But if you just jerk, them i think when you know chemical castration shit like that that's like crazy yeah i don't know if you're going to be able to fix them. Like chemical castration and shit like that? That's crazy.

39:17 It's like, wow. It's a weird thing to want. You almost kind of are like, honestly, it's- Chemical castration! What a crazy sickness that you can implant in someone's mind. Oh, see, the bully always has a dad who kicks his ass type thing. Right? Don't make it him. who is making What? They're walking around in high heels. when john bonnet ramsey when they did an autopsy on her they found out that she had been sexually

42:51 He's like, you guys are monsters. probably jealous too because they gave her more attention the whole time it's like marcia marcia I don't think they made a conclusive decision about that. You can find a handwriting expert that if you pay them enough, they'll say that it's not. It's all at the same angles. There's JonBenet Ramsey, end of the h yeah well look at the size of the a's and the c's they're very very uniform in size

45:18 look, it's not my handwriting. if we had an expert in here he explained there's some sort of a science behind it yeah that studio mike dude i know you imagine a crazy fuck like you're on steve on the middle of the show People bought a date house. I see your podcast studio, Mike, dude. I might buy that house. That was, like, Bugsy Siegel's place. How many guys do you think they killed in that basement?

46:59 since it's been In the basement? Great alibi, Jay. near a street sign I'll still watch them again. I think that Amityville Horror House, I think it's kind of bullshit. Like when you were a little kid, you believed that shit. The bees came out. I would fucking deal with the ghosts to own something. Yeah. I know, right?. I was like, I don't know. What do you want me to say, guys? I'm renting. We're on Section 8. I would fucking deal with the ghosts

48:59 a table or something like that. I didn't get past that looking down the window, I'm taking this piece of shit out to the trash right now. Andy from beyond the grave. Are they idiots or are they pieces of shit? she's moved on to a follow tradition and stuff or you grow up that way and you just kind of like but I mean no well this is these are dumb asses they're supposed to get taken out did you uh did you watch the

51:57 with Steve Martin. That's the entire plot. any measurable psychic abilities, and try to figure out how to do this crazy telekinetic thing. When I did that show, Joe Rogan Questions Everything, we did an episode on psychics. I really did and there's if you take like a cheap enough spoon You just rub your fingers and it just droops. It just gives in I spent like that

54:31 by people who, like, knew magic or knew, like, some type of sleight of hand like that when questions that are leading you into telling them the answers right those those people there's Oh, the guy starts crying And I'm fine. you go to Target because you need shampoo. And everybody has that feeling, advice, that lady with the neon sign. Psych look at the palm she must be a magician i was

57:10 Yeah. he's all excited about Thursday. But no. on this. I really fucking love that joke where And then if someone else can convince you they kind of know what's going on, We should look at psychics my God she is amazing she knows so much about me she's four foot six first of all when I knew her when I walked in the room and I want to make love to her. What's that one?

59:33 But they wouldn't We all want to see it. I'm too heavy yeah I'm trying to remember for my liking. turn into that fucking robot. It's the number one movie. races working together to get And the budget was $250 million. You must have a lot of special effects budget. Launching them across a bridge, landing them nose down. I never saw it though. the making of this film,

1:02:22 or somewhere in Asia When you watch the movie, you're like, oh man, how did they get that dog to fight with In the box. Eight dogs died? I'm looking at an elk's head behind you. you'll swap the shit And that's, I never liked cats, but then my girlfriend brought her mom's cat to live with us for a little bit, Topanga Canyon, get out of your car, shit to jack, and if you're there at the right time,

1:04:37 Yeah. that are like ranches like their malibu is really long go to Malibu? Yeah, once. There's places in Malibu that are like ranches. and shit like that. you're in the alpaca farm. This is from the movie. You assume, you're just like, oh man, they must have had the best animal trainers. He saw a grizzly bear kill a moose with one swat He's got a moose by the neck just dragging it through the woods.

1:07:02 One of my favorite pranks to plant people is I send them an email and I say, And they just watch two minutes of this deer being mauled alive with the most horrible are different than other animals in that but cats are, like, more flexible and pliable. Melvin Manhoef, just a powerhouse. It was like a car that was slowly moving onto him Holy fuck, do you think the adrenaline would kick in

1:09:00 It's happening. you'd be in another dimension before you knew it. He was just walking, and he had it like packed down with a baseball hat There he is. Some bitch never got my daddy's watch. This is a fucking Montana dude. Oh, yes, you do. And the other guy with the karate uniform Bubbles down. Now that I have a kid, too. Top blocking whore. Oh, I forgot to tell you.

1:12:16 He's almost got the bear. Oh, my God. And that's a brown bear. It looked me in the eyes and I remember thinking, whoa, that's a different look. He went, holy shit, that's Joe Rogan. It wasn't even far away. It was like 30, 40 yards. It looked me in the eyes, and I remember thinking, whoa, that's a different look. What am I going to do? I think a shotgun might take them down.

1:13:43 But it's the way they look at you that's different. Like, there's no fear of you at all. can you please stop describing this imagine an animal 300 pounds that is hungry imagine it but no stores Fuck. this we'll give you a knife and you go out there and then you try to hunt a bear i always feel those things are all correct. But we've always kept predators in check because when they start

1:17:10 We always tried to do it. That people have to realize, like, the real problem on the side of people that eat meat extremists you see those videos where it's like Auschwitz of cows and it's going to do with all these animals? And the best studies that talk about nutrients and plants versus nutrients and animal I like all those things. Like Jamie Kilstein started eating meat again and he's fucking making sense again finally.

1:20:28 racist. You're always trying to it was a lot of that. I don't really publicly battle as much on twitter with dummies but on facebook i being a social justice warrior is like exhausting yeah yeah you have to be looking the caring is No one who's successful is pissed off that Kevin Hart has a fucking $50 million mansion. Like it's literally like a privileged thing and you don't have anything going on.

1:22:32 and you're so far behind the race, wow, If you're successful in comedy. Everybody in this room probably is guilty of doing that as a young comic. or say that I, a guy, some booker had called and said he liked me on the show, And I called He's like, whatever. to like cut somebody else the other people that are trying to make it but there's a nice point when you get to at least

1:24:31 Where you can just like somebody, You know what I mean? at guitar acts. There's no thought in it. but watching him for that hour, and I was like, holy shit, dude, You guys talk. I'm gonna need you to start Oh, man, I feel like it's going good. What do you guys think? minute by ourselves, guys. We need to do something with it. Oh, man. Oh, remember one of the first episodes?

1:26:43 That's right, guys. and 15th, guys. You gotta go. Listen to me. It's a Let me do one. Joe Rogan specifically said himself I said that specifically. Libertas, The bears, man. One of those giant ones. Thank God I keep Kool-Aid in my go bag. at a barbecue place. Yeah. But if you want Kool-Aid, you want to do this shit right. We used to do a lot of that in my home.

1:29:49 Than real iced tea Caramel syrup in it there Yeah. That was how to hydrate. Can't prove it here. It's always the guy who's bragging the most. Your stomach has living organisms in it. I'll let Joe do it. Am I pronouncing it right? exist without the bacteria in your system without what's on your skin protecting you from other invading bacteria. That's what it is.

1:32:39 Michael Douglas. He would be like the first guy ever Sucked it right out of Catherine Zeta-Jones. Listen, I go to that doctor once every six weeks and go grind off what's in there. in this thing. I got an 11 at home She wants to. That's right. I'm telling you, dude, HP, you're not supposed to put our dicks and our pussy in each other's mouths. cancer doctor who has to talk to you like they're smoking

1:34:50 worry about it. Good to go. Yeah. So they're giving that to That happens with almost all the vaccines, though. these are the outliers and like you have to be willing to accept a certain amount of outliers and now measles are coming back because they're worried about autism. But there's also been, like, I mean, there's been, like, real extensive research to disprove the idea that the vaccinations are the reason for the autism rise.

1:37:03 was because he was born at three in the morning and they were going to do it I'd take him and cut him. at the beginning too hard. I got this fucking ramp head hanging out. And it's a fucked up thing, dude. or more HIV. You know what that's from? But we're talking about a third world country where they're not cleaning their bodies. And if you just lopped off chicks' breasts can't get breast cancer but we're still not going to just preemptively be like let's just

1:39:16 Ew. Get new foreskin back or no dick? I don't know if I can go back now and just say, all right, would I just take my, if a genie came out, the gayest genie on earth came out and said, you have one wish, and it's just about your foreskin. Reconstructive surgery they have for it, too. Yeah, it's like a big floppy hood. They're so into it. alright, well now you can have a baby with no dick and have it

1:41:24 removed, and then they decided to give him a sexual reassignment and everyone was fucking terrified ever had a surgery like that and they were like oh we're just gonna put some That's what they're supposed to get. And you take at finance and the diamond business. It's just part of it. There's a video of this dude just standing there, Dana White walks in, so you want to be an ultimate fighter.

1:43:52 ceremony where the rabbi doesn't the rabbi like suck blood yes a dick yeah I'm the one doing the research. And apparently, in some versions of Judaism, it's, Oh, you're going to well, this is a dress and like No, it's retarded. everything is a lie. And we have a name for it. I pulled it out. what kind of a person just sucks baby dicks all the time like how many baby

1:47:10 in a strong career, Did he go to college like a Nazi in Nuremberg. Well, there was a guy. Jamie, do not show us that. They cut it. gone completely off the track that if you're cutting baby dicks and then sucking them, anybody babies getting their dicks cut and then sucked. and your fucking video would just go up. Hundreds of guys sucking How much is that?

1:49:38 Oh, wait. Is there one of those now? Don't play in traffic. Benjamin is handling it for all of us. 100%. Can you imagine? I bet it's probably within a thousand years. No more homophobia. I think naturally we were tribes and we And it was very natural. Maybe. going to put that in but when it's all right in front of you, it's like, all right, well, I guess I can spend

1:53:16 If you believe this, I don't ever want to talk to you again. is delicious. do I have to go like, so where do you stand on the Iraq I get that, but it's almost like now we can have all that knowledge. I'm going up here and then he drops me off and he's like have a good night. God bless They go to their own building. where it's like one person's a homeless person,

1:55:25 You never found just like a cashier or like somebody with a reasonable job in between? I have to be there like 2.40. yes yeah that'd be fun oh yeah good good good thanks brother thank you very much thanks for facilitating Or we can just wrap this up. Dude, I can get going all day. I podcast. I got a lot of shit about Jay to talk. I love you, brother.

1:56:19 I liked his half-hair red better. Oh, yeah. Jay marches to the beat of his own drum. I want to just experience that a little bit and know what that's about. but I have fat thighs, That was before the internet. The classic, yeah. for almost like before I almost like, Yeah, I'd only want Every guy in the audience, there's thousands of people. Even today, it's like, accessorizing for a dude is, like, the best look.

1:59:17 Luis J. Gomez likes fucking dudes who wear a lot of jewelry. to tell the world than a dude with a watch? I go, we all just started sucking each other's dicks after a few minutes, man. They saw another dude at one point, to fit into that oh yeah like it's all the same thing man you're just yeah i was in high school and i was nominated That was my crew, okay?

2:01:43 He just got sucked into being in a group when he was 14. and here he is now in his 40s years after leaving super open and honest know, hurt people and I could have went down a much different path. I said the exact same thing yesterday. I mean, they just got shot at. But here's the thing. He took him out. no that's not the solution the solution is take the guns away and like i i don't like the idea

2:04:49 give a shit i don't really shoot guns and i know dude the only when i've shot guns it's just been I don't necessarily have an issue with having an armed security guard at the school to protect children, I think that's even more of a cop-out. But what you're saying isn't entirely correct because it is absolutely about mental health I'm just making the point that the idea that it's like, oh, all we know is that there's this category of people who have mental health issues and they shouldn't be allowed to get guns is way too broad.

2:07:06 like you mentioned earlier, they're going to put them on drugs. antipsychotics, You're not exercising whatever the mental process is of not killing people on your own. He was very calm, cool, and collected. Okay, but still kind of a similar moral of the story. Because I heard that this guy engaged in a firefight with this kid and killed him instantly.

2:09:13 So he shot himself with the gun that got shot afterwards? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he really was in a firefight with this fucking guy. not going to be shot to death in a school one day, knock on wood. Right. I know. And it's, kid you'd probably feel that way too yeah oh yeah sure i mean there's there's there's way too many of or friendship or community guidance

2:11:40 Yeah, that's a great analogy, by the way. like the best thing that could come out of this, They're not thinking about that. I had never seen anything like that before. And my mom made this point. of people getting killed but it was sort of looking and give them a really good childhood but They have a pecking order. He's got five aces. anybody but it's that's the analogy it's like take it off take that tattoo it's

2:15:06 talking about like a pro wrestler I mean for fighters it's pretty commonplace most of the guys that were doing tattoos weren't good artists there was a few good artists you I couldn't tell what it was. Keep the Kid. Cool. We get a lot of people that do the Legion of Skanks logo tattoo. Fuck, this guy's good. about. These are real artists. And then they would just start tracing that line.

2:18:09 people yeah my mom had like straight up gel has tattoos my mom had a money sign that was done with prison prison tattoos yeah there's a couple books about them they're pretty dope well there's one Have you seen Alexander Emelianenko? He was in drill. He's super jacked. We don't care. Have you seen his back? I just don't want to fight that guy. Baby has sword.

2:21:27 words right so who knows what it says yeah yeah man that russian language is a trip to look at The German military during the period spanning the German Empire, 1871 to 1918. So it could be... Yeah, but it also is the war cry of the Swedish army. we're just jumping to conclusions because the nazis liked it too yeah and we're also like in america like

2:23:38 up man that's why they're so hardy that's why they're so dangerous as like Their country straight up collapsed twice. at Russian history, you're like, what is the I mean, that dude, there's some insane number of people that are genetically related to him in Asia like insane number And then they do that just to like send a fucking message like even people who agreed to it there

2:25:35 That's it. Genghis Khan. I knew he was a bad guy, conquered a lot of what these fucking people did. or politics it's like you should always just keep in mind, We want it better. why though? right? That idea, people feel like they're doing something good, and you'll never convince just go, it's almost like they want to burn it down because it's not perfect.

2:28:33 And you're like, oh, Jesus. we didn't have the same way to communicate you can get an idea across the world instantly the the same way. No matter what our backgrounds are Let me get a water. Let me get a dollar. It's like you don't even think about that shit it process it as opposed to editing your opinion down and going here it is this a very specific, perfect version where it's not even really what your opinion is.

2:30:20 that's really the most valuable form of communication. you know, yo, in a fucking fight Dude, text messages, No big deal. Yeah, everything's always It's always on your terms. You can call me. Yes. because I'm going to be It's good like, I mean, it's good for fun, too. Yeah. there's no way there's no way that everybody who has an idea about anybody else can be with them

2:33:59 You would never say that in front of them. i'm not even gonna pretend like i know shit and i'm it's i'm so much better at it now i'm not It's like if you go to an event and there's two guys getting in a cage fucking fighting. I'll tell you why not. they are but you know i talked to mike about this you know he says people boo me they fucking love time. And deep into his 30s, did it

2:36:42 a fight that I thought he was gonna win Like, Jesus. I think he was beat up. avenged so beautifully George St. Pierre is is a monster, and I think that everyone, including myself, He's an older man now. would they win 100% of the time? I think if Ngannou could beat him See, the thing about, like, george st pierre is the greatest ever if you have is the greatest ever. If you have to make a case, I don't think there's a stronger case for anyone than for George St. Pierre.

2:39:23 And Matt Serra just came back and beat him in the most cinched up rear naked chokes I've ever seen You can grab that head. bisman at this point have become friends to where it's like you start to fucking care about these everybody knew that i was really good friends with them it was uh you know we had done a bunch of there's smart booze but then there's booze where guys were just like facing

2:42:25 They're not marketing towards people who don't understand it. terms of rankings, when they put the interim belts on fights where they don't really need to be there, A lot of the casuals don't know the difference between Michael Bisping or fucking George St. Pierre. I'd be like, that's the greatest thing that's ever happened. It's just fun and it's exciting.

2:44:00 with the way they handle Conor or certain guys, they definitely threw that to the side. Everybody made a fuckload of money. That might be bullshit. I saw that on his Instagram. If Mayweather really wants to fight Conor, and Conor's never had a professional fight, and he can make $100 million, Oh, it's not a bad move. definitely trying to wear him out and get him tired because he knew that he relied on kinetic

2:46:00 I thought it would be over within three or four rounds, or at the very least, as big as the UFC. I almost feel like was like a thing and I remember already And then he would create this thing where like Dustin Poirier's like biggest fight ever is against Conor McGregor. It was all real accomplishments. to do that anywhere else. Bellator is a stupid name.

2:48:12 Regency Boxing. That's what it is. Just like when you watch HBObo boxing it's on hbo and it's boxing you don't They know Anthony Joshua, that are like, there's ugly belts too champion belt of them on his arms are interested as long as that's we've had him on the podcast I love it. they love it so much. because everyone's going to get paid And that's just off a CBD oil company.

2:50:29 But he's good, man. Yeah, like he's practicing. wind up wrapping them up real quick. the last WEC event ever, the jumping kick or whatever. How dangerous are these guys going to get? Yeah, and as good as they get, the competition kind of gets better, too. What UFC would he start having problems? Remember that fight with Don Fry and Takayama where they just stood in front of each other

2:52:58 He's hilarious, dude. He's an animal. look he gets hit with a knee and they get in a clinch wailing on each other it's crazy dude but Look at his fucking mount. Yeah, real quick. I think he beat everyone until he ran into Mark Coleman sudden this thing no one gave a shit about Let's do it. of people getting interested in it and then It's like Life Below Zero, that's my jam,

2:56:00 we're never the same. You never quite it's led to a guy who was a reality star was the president. And now he won a popularity contest. Donald Trump. I used to on some the same team voting over really important I don't think it's proven Yeah, and energy does very positive things, but I agree with you on that. do this you just go well you're a mechanic if the three of us are out in the fucking woods hunting elk, me and Lewis don't go like, well, I think we should do it this way.

2:58:46 The dumb people, the same as the smart people. I gotta pee again. I can't believe this. We got to do this more often. It was a lot of fun, man. That's our network. Where do they buy the tickets?