Joe Rogan Experience #1099 — Christopher Ryan Transcript

Transcript

0:00 three two one I took a scenic route. Stanhope was in Asia. I got really busy. It's like this giant open pit mine and like the hills are all kind of purple and weird colors because And so I'm traveling and I'm also meeting people along the way. He's not looking for fame or anything, but I'll talk to him. I think he'd like you and you guys would enjoy each other's company.

2:57 Lives on next to nothing in a trailer in the desert. Wow. digestive tract to digest the whole thing from outside right so when they get the animal inside pulled this poor little fuzzy rabbit but I instantly made the differentiation I instantly a life form there. So it's kind of like very few herbivores. That happened to me once. This one was a rattlesnake, a big-ass rattlesnake.

6:56 So just folded in thirds, and I'd have a belt, and it would come up and hang down in the front and the back. I just fucking killed their mother, dude. So I took the babies home, and the next-door neighbor, my friend's mother, was a nurse. just a knockout yeah you knocked out the rabbit that makes sense because if you And I left the rabbits with this girl and told her how to take care of them and all that.

9:30 Maybe you missed your calling. That's not true. And then you've got to also think like- I don't think you could say anyone because sometimes people just are and some people So why are they insulting you? Why are they they going after you it's because of an insecurity but it's I think we reveal our deepest secrets in our loudest accusations. They're only doing it through Twitter or Facebook or

12:13 communicating with people through a device There's just this new weird form of expression that doesn't make you take into consideration the other people's feelings. fuck you. so fast because you're in your car. you're very aware that you're at the wheel for about seven years low center of gravity yeah i drove that like a grandpa too i was like i never got pulled over

14:38 is incomprehensible. And then you got to do it again. It's like 4,000 euros. It's a giant scam. If you're driving around, they pull you over. I was like, what you do is you pretend you're a tourist. Yeah. We're number one. people in these other places be just like you just a person but they walk around in a rice He's used to working outside and beautiful weather.

17:28 But that whole thing is just- that you are from a tribe, right? Everybody thinks everyone else has an accent, but I don't. ¿Qué dices? Intellectually, that makes sense to me. It's so subtle. two times and they're a little bit too polite. I'm from Canada. and you know how he does like he calls out cities right you know it's new york you know pittsburgh

20:07 Because he's like, we're all Americans, dude. States. Estado. Tell me about Judy. Judy Gumpf was like the 15-year-old who was totally built I got a shot at Judy Gumpf. I'm like, I'm all right in English. But also it's weird because, like, Mädchen, girl, is neutral. It's just that he needed enough people on the team that they'd keep paying him or they'd shut it down.

23:23 need, I would have needed a bunch of green lights to talk to her. Like one of them I couldn't do. She was built like a woman. Do you remember that? whole deal and things skid in without the gear and um i showed up and it was her and her friends No, I was like, what am I doing? Man, my memory sucks. Yeah. This is the weekend getaway. And then they'd pull you into the fold.

27:01 They got culted up. gonna happen i you know does anyone have confidence at 1920 really dumb kids yeah that's it when i was you know, the Sannyasins in oregon wild But you could do whatever you want. This is what I'm realizing. I like old being a rapper and whatever he does, Like Model Ts and shit. god that's beautiful what is that 61 impala a rockford fosgate equipped 61 Impala. A Rockford Fosgate-equipped 61 Impala.

30:23 And they're just safer and they ride I don't think so. Dude, it's the greatest car I've ever seen in my life. I remember watching that clip and thinking, oh, yeah, look at that. Those are new. It handles good. And required you to give up all of your financial money and all of your worldly goods. that he said that she was Mary. Imagine? Now it's fitting into place.

33:31 Oh, Dan Brown. of that weinstein yeah you're gonna get me married you know um i told you in the email that i felt Which is always weird. You know, who thinks that people evolved as monogamous? And so we quote quite heavily from those people. It's that when someone goes hard on a book, Of course. And so if they're reacting emotionally, there's no point in me engaging with them because

36:45 okay we can talk about that you know that's that's factual right so when people say oh it's a good book to write, I think. when it comes to monogamy about that on the very first podcast actually yeah yeah yeah I mean I mean and all kinds of negative energy around that. It's out there. it seems like people about the gay preachers and stuff. and form yourself a nice gay church.

40:02 when you just walk around guys done yeah like what have you done look at these gigantic places that you built and i told They impress the rubes, right? Like these people built this without power tools. But at the same time this was happening, people were starving. I bet pretty fucking shitty. Yeah, and they couldn't go anywhere, man. Oh, my God. Look at that. Oh my God.

43:13 Look at the fucking carving and everything. That fucking place is giant. Huh. One impressive thing was the elevator complex that they had set up Yeah. Yeah. It happens. Yeah, they just slump. I've seen referees pick a guy's arm up to see if the guy responds or girl. It was crazy. You have a preference for how you die? I have a buddy who's a big wave surfer and like 40-foot waves.

46:08 Some really interesting. known that already it it makes here's what it does in my opinion. We should explain it. Yeah. So the idea is – I first read about it in a book by Buckminster Fuller, actually. in and deep enough that leopards and other predators from the land couldn't get at them. so like that great uh nirvana album cover of the baby so you take a baby and drop them in water

48:16 Right. I don't know. You know, maybe then there's also the connection between eating fish and fish oil and brain health. Right. There are other adaptations we don't have and that we would have if that had been the case. stopping at one you know like what's the dosage okay how much gives me a stroke i'm gonna take But it does seem like if humans are going to get smarter,

51:06 Right. Up until like Australia Pythagoras or something. whether or not it can communicate with you, Yeah, pull that up. And the dog will go find the yellow bunny and bring it back. fucking crazy because it really looks like itself and this guy helps it and gets the brush and puts Or is he just pulling so that the brush goes where he wants it to go? Let's see.

53:50 Like, the elephant knows to stay in these lines. There are other ones. Not only among animals, but also among humans. tusks it looks like does he i don't see any no so that looked like the guy was just giving him Right, draws himself over and over again. I would have guessed that it probably doesn't understand 2D space like that, because if it did, it would start creating art.

56:28 there's so many manifestations so this big controversy that's happening now Darrell Bock Yeah, where he argued that there are racial differences in intelligence, IQ They deny it. you done? Like what, go to an inner city school and pretend you're a 10-year-old kid trying to get by in this life. it was very poor people and the the fucking middle school was scary it was 17 year old kids in my

59:25 Like, fuck. And what I experienced in Jamaica Plain was nothing compared to Dorchester and Roxbury. Yeah. Like the people that were, um, that were in famine people, their kids lived longer for some strange reason. Yeah. Whatever it is. And we were talking about this and he's like, I only eat when the sun's up. You've got to have cheat days. I enjoy that people make these delicious dishes.

1:02:08 Joe Rogan has meat for me, ladies and gentlemen. to uh big ben national park which is beautiful beautiful. You know where that is? It's cool. so we get into uh the western entrance of big bend and it's like 4 p.m and the guy says yeah So we're sitting there, and I remembered somebody had sent me Bringing you to traps. I'm in the world of micro-podcasting where everybody who reaches out to me likes me.

1:04:55 That's a trap. They are interesting people. But they get American comedy straight away. ate some mushrooms okay some of them did some of them didn't anyway but super relaxed and uh the hunter-gatherers, and he took some Hadza shit And the guy's like half alive. guy, did a podcast with him. Fantastic guy, Jeff Leach. I'm going to, and as in tangentially

1:07:36 Not scientifically, but popular press. Wow. He's done everything. Takes everything. like when you lived in Portland and then coming here in L.A. when it's sunny out, why african rhythms are so complex and native american makes sense. And that's why African rhythms are so complex And I listen to them sometimes when I write So like I don't get wrapped up in

1:10:20 because I really fixate on the words if I do. the hallucinations or whatever they are Boom. See, I like to listen to this kind of shit when I write, because I have no idea what they're saying. You ever written a book or essay or stuff? Do you remember what I'm talking about? and they put a massive amount of work into it, but part of the person made something that they know is not going to last and they put a massive amount

1:13:13 I forget what magazine. specific like they wanted jokey jokes they even offered to just pay me to I just think that any time you willingly take on some new project managers and other – they might – like their opinion might very well be valid, but I'm not looking for it. There's no reason for you to do that. you guys have a couple hour conversation you upload that shit and that's it it's wonderful

1:15:56 misfit press are people that i know through the podcast they reached out to me and we had some Hope you remember that, Joe. On a podcast about you. So yeah, that's my dream is to put out one of these a year. And there are a lot of people out there who don't listen to podcasts right me included i rarely listen to podcasts do you listen to books on tape

1:18:07 So I envision the book is like something where people can be like, Yeah, man. I mean, so many people have had these crazy conversations with them that, to me, they've been – I mean, it's shaped the way I look at everything. Well, that's education. So if I can record them and then just put them out there and other people like them, right right right people will occasionally come to my place in topanga but normally i go to them

1:21:12 We didn't need to wear them. And if you get a mic that picks up everything, production company would ever uh get together and fund because they would say if they did they'd between us press record and start talking about podcasts in general, is that it's not produced. A lot of people get weird. joe rogan yeah strangely yeah so there are parts i know both of us have parts of our lives we don't

1:23:54 And to the point now where it pays, it's self-sustaining and it's my main gig. The responsibility is like I got to talk about shit that other people don't talk about so that it's out there. they have no say. I'm not saying it's the worst thing to do, is they made him famous And they destroyed him. I do not think that fame is I don't think that people should aspire to it.

1:26:27 fame itself one of the weirdest parts about it is that you have to constantly be checking yourself And they're not supposed to pay for things and everything's supposed to be easy and they're Do you know who I am? um fraud uh phobia right that people are going to find out what they really are i mean i've seen very predictable in terms of like your success you have plenty of money you have adulation from fans

1:28:54 That goes away once you definitely become Kanye West or whoever the fuck you are. He seems to me like someone who you talked about, you know, you get to that pinnacle Russell Brand is another guy who I think I really admire where they are in their lives and how they got there. he wants to do good, It's not a hard do not agree. Years ago, I came back from Asia. I was in Asia for a couple of years and I visited my best buddy in Paris.

1:30:57 But growing up, it was like I was Kirk. I said, yeah, what's the deal? through the the addictions and the orgies and all that stuff that a lot of people think would make well you used that phrase a minute ago like you know trying to make it yeah make it it's like Brilliant guy. I never could figure out why I'd freak out when I would be about to talk to a bank teller.

1:34:14 my wife gets that way around anyone wearing a uniform freaks her out because she was in a war That's probably the last time I wore a tie. Enjoy that. to just let him lay down on a flat marble pillow his head is flat like a fucking pizza this poor time that had been elongated and you know the alien people went nutty like this is it this have been the product of incest

1:37:21 like with like elongated heads So on the left, that's Tutankhamen. like a high degree of certainty. Yeah. oh, my God, that's the alien. On his head like look the top of his head is flat. There's all this extra brain That normalizing. remembered it after the podcast was over. Yeah. I don't know that that's true. I mean, I haven't looked it up if it's historically accurate or even if there's a way to know because there are no recordings, right?

1:39:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they started losing their hair. That's where big wigs come from. Your nervous system gets really screwed. So where's the syphilis part? scented with lavender or orange to hide any funky aromas. powdered wigs. I mean, it's British culture in this case. There is no – it's like the – what is it? i mean if you live in a small town and i'm not knocking ohio jamie but if you live in a small

1:42:58 who are going to go hunt a monkey I mean, this is what they do. Maybe it's like, this is where I should have been my whole life. It's a great book. It's a short book. I mean, it makes sense like a dog. It's essentially the story of the domesticated being going and living with the wild iterations of that same being, right? Isn't it? there's a certain detachment from the masses,

1:45:49 I love it. How do you guys do this? i have a friend who got it really bad where he's sick in hospital for like two days yeah i didn't It was the same as day one, man. Oh, amazing Mayan ruins and lots of magic mushrooms. It's Mayan still. like i was about to die she was into that look yeah just for people out there that you might Right, it's like UV light.

1:48:50 bottle and you can drink it. water uh camping but it was this thing where they did all these, they took all these samples. It's like if you, you could take the risk and shit your brains out for three days, Have you? It's true. going in my butt even in i don't believe i don't believe that that is necessarily a healthy thing Do you know who he is? Yeah, sure.

1:51:35 mix and he sort of was central in Leary getting in trouble because Andrew wrote an article in the Harvard Crimson criticizing Leary for indiscriminately giving psilocybin to students. brain. Because what they do is they get people high who've never been high, and then they give And he found that their perceptions were actually heightened. Then he tested their driving ability versus what it had been before or when they're not stoned and average scores and all that.

1:53:57 Sometimes people don't want to know the actual results. And they were saying, a lot of them, What's the ratio of benefit to danger? And his first book's called The Natural Mind. in india i think gandhi vomited every morning jesus gandhi and he drank his own piss by the certification in complementary medicine so he's super mainstream successful but he has never

1:56:42 Not for me. That is the craziest genocide ever. that it's not just a signaling, Have you seen that? In the table. Yeah. Yeah. B or C? It was like a month down. story i think you did but tell me again well it's a long story yeah i mean if you don't now though It's a podcast. Yeah. They produced it really well yeah it was well done um yeah what happened was i was i was with my girlfriend at the time puerto rican super beautiful puerto rican girl did she

2:00:04 And, yeah, we were at this place called Tikal in northeast Guatemala, way, way back in the jungle. We were staying in this campsite with hammocks. It's beautiful. drilled into this the temple's made out of limestone blocks and so to get up there yeah there you go temple four so that's steep so we're up there and uh and i'm holding the ladder for these guys going down and they're

2:03:25 don't know so um now it's getting dark right because the moon's going behind these clouds So while we're talking to them, now it's totally dark. I understood enough Spanish to get that. Yeah. Yeah. I was at a about being. Mercury was in retrograde. Yeah. So I'm thinking like, fuck, I got to get down from here. two days from Guatemala City and whatever the town was.

2:05:47 And I'm thinking, yeah, maybe. And yeah, yeah. Tripping. Oh, wow. And he doesn't understand english and that cracks me up that i just i start laughing like a fucking maniac and he's like got his arm around me he thinks i'm like losing it and i'm just like this I've had sex with gorgeous women who loved me. I would have been crying like a bitch. and I said no and I left I flew to India I'd been in Asia for two years you said no to a million

2:10:14 So he knew I wouldn't steal from him. to him and says scorpion scorpion and the kid looks at me like, oh, my God, come, come. He's some jungle dude, whatever. And he says, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a scorpion. because in English that's all there is. you but if you're if you survive a couple hours you're going to be all right speaking to something

2:12:42 he weighed 258 pounds. That there's a conspiracy about Atkins. And notes that he weighed 258 pounds at death. When they're eating paleo and they're eating low carb. like pizza and bread and pasta. I think they're still around. i've been traveling a long time i knew you don't drink water out of a bucket in the tropics but Like a dog drinks out of a puddle, you don't freak out because the dog's body is going to handle that.

2:16:29 preservative-laden microbiome. Oh, no, I'm not talking water supply that's really affecting us. It's possible that some of it is getting to us in the And your body starts craving it. That's one of the weirder things about when you do eat a low-carb diet is your body really doesn't crave carbohydrates anymore. Sure. And that bacteria or this toxoplasmosis can only grow and it can only reproduce inside

2:18:40 He's amazing. He looks like he's homeless or something. But just, I mean, his work with baboons as well was covered in a Radiolab podcast. Like, just because we're all caught up in this crazy trap, and I think more of those There's no of the printing press in terms of the potential for radical social change. Podcasting seems similar to that in the sense that anybody who can afford a few mics and

2:22:09 And they gave some of the money to the actors and some of the money to the writers and everybody got wealthy. He's doing super well. That's great. I mean, obviously that guy's the guy that really got rich. And of course- You're really happy too. Oh, he's doing really well right now. Yeah, yeah. He's doing super well. They're business people. some radio network somewhere you'd have to go to meetings weekly meetings with the studio you'd

2:23:38 So just do it for fun now. You could even call it channel. Yeah, although you get it for free. It's almost like give the option, if you pay, you get no ads or free. That makes sense. And then you're going to keep all of it? That's hilarious. People like her, they can cut a totally different deal. filled with 400 000 people it's a lot of books if you look at it that way that's how you have to

2:27:08 You sign a deal generally with Audible. It's already done. There's no reason for them to be getting all that money. And so it was an investment. The ratios are the same. Essentially what they have is credibility. If it's a book that takes off, then a publisher will come in and buy it. There's a lot of them. got this idea i was talking to duncan about this the other night i've got this idea to write an

2:30:19 How many people you fucked and people find out the truth. Right. And it wasn't a kinky weird thing. Mothers are like, would you please have sex with my daughter? But then they recruit you, and you've got to take on the project. The way people tattoo themselves, the way people express themselves and dance. I have tattoos. But if I lived there, I wouldn't live like these people.

2:34:21 in our podcasts. And then these conversations get right into someone's head, And that's never happened before. on AM talk radio, the Michael Savages, What are you going to do? The fuck out of here. And they have to have the same environment that they grow up in, the same fears and the same influences, negative and positive. What is that? You know, I mean, I look at someone like you.

2:37:24 But it's very high IQ. and they'll try to explain to me mixed martial arts in some fucked up cockamamie way and I understand it as good as anybody that's ever lived. So if you start talking It's fun to be able to flip people around like that, first of all, let people have what they need to have. They just don't. You might be a really genius person, but if your life has fallen apart, and it's all because

2:40:17 Also, you don't have like tenure that you're working for or anything weird that's number, might be 10%, whatever it is, but it's like the vast minority. You know, I get into this a lot when people are talking about homosexuality and whether it's, And so it's like, to them, because again, there's a filtering there, is younger boys with older boys. starting with my dick

2:42:49 saying earlier that you can have these pockets of culture that they're radically different than And Marvin Harris wrote about this cultural materialism, how a culture responds to an environment sort of like how c you know, cacti live in the desert. I read it. Is it the Aztecs are particularly evil or something? So when you killed a human, you ate him because your protein starved.

2:45:08 They're not just going to let it go. My friend Jonathan saw a boar, a male bear, kill a cub, and then saw the female eat it. But they're all cannibals. But now they, like, if you shoot shoot a bear other bears will claim it as What they are is they clean the forest up of babies that can't get away. because someone fucked up and came across a female with her babies and the female doesn't want to

2:47:20 is going to bring heat on the clan no they just fucked that person up i spent and we were like, let's go to McKinley and hike for a while. and he was this cool guy. Like, yeah, yeah. dude bears and fish man that's a crazy combination and so the the big bears of um Yeah. Orcas are the animal that I always point to that we to this day can't understand.

2:49:53 And they have a very strong family bond. Exactly, right? That is exactly what it is. write a blurb for you nice for sure yeah i'll blur the lines between erotica and just like By the way, last week, big, big event in my life. But you look very healthy. change your life. Super cool guy. And I understand why. He pried his dick hole open and chopped away he was just like you know i do it i've done a lot of them i want to see how i could do it and he said you know my wife wasn't into the idea but she

2:52:56 Like a contortionist and just digging in. They tied my tubes. Yeah. at this point yeah Or a week rather Old lady classes too I take yoga with these old ladies in my class that humble me. body should move when you're 60 or this is how your body should move you're 70 it's based on No, no, no. That's fucking scary. Anyway, we talk about this after. That's what everybody's supposed to do.

2:55:53 when you live in a culture Patagonia jackets on. It's fun. electric assist mountain bike oh yeah my friend john dudley has those fuck is that great they're Oh, right. Because when you walk on the ground. You're just fucked. and they're fucking amazing. It was like 20 miles, I think, out on this Jeep track. Impossible to resist. Sure. You just can't help it.

2:59:43 Big ones. They're not pack animals. Look, what do we have at the end of the road? This guy's looking out of his house. They hang around near your house. Fuck. What kind of dog was it was a small pomeranian american eskimo mix it's a sweetheart of a dog he was a great dog They're a weird animal. Yeah, sure. They were playing. And they realize, like, this guy's not going to hurt me.

3:02:31 But foxes in particular, they'll kill the shit out of your cat. And I was like, right? here's something And the clink, clink is the coyotes biting the chicken wire, I love those chickens. I went out there a couple days later and I was like, where's the fucking chicken? were tripping never i've had zero experience with animals while tripping yeah yeah i've had a lot

3:04:52 Yeah. You know, when you go to your own little area of the woods by yourself. In a lot of places. But according to biologists, it's only healthy if the bear population is kept to a certain number. predators so who was killing bears other bears grizzlies so then the sort of the ultimate balance population of elk and moose and deer well that means you're gonna have a good population of monsters so if you're comfortable with that you just you just have to decide like how much risk

3:07:25 Yeah. be a forest because the little things grow and they just eat them yeah they eat them right when Sure. I've had both. They're both amazing. Star Wars animal. Crazy. But it was basically saying that what happened was when the Europeans came to America and the Europeans spread disease, it decimated the Native American population by as much as 90%.

3:09:55 And there's like with no hunters chasing after them. this is does not like exonerate all the europeans that had the stacks of bones and that killed them And the Cheyenne. where they'd take guys who came back from the war And they wiped out all the antelope, all the elk, all the bison. Yeah, I read that when I was very young, when I was running around in a loincloth throwing apples at rabbits.

3:13:24 the impact of a group of people landing on a continent. was in the 1700s, the 1400s, you know, when they first started arriving, and think of Right, right. I mean, like when they're landing here and they made their way all the way to California, You ever sleep in a teepee? Jamie, Base Camp Terlingua. Oh, nice. Yeah. Each of our three luxury, hold on.

3:16:08 And house private bath. Isn't it nice? of Terlingua ghost town tangentially reading a podcast guy yeah the podcast world is richer for it well thank you i appreciate it i'm richer