Joe Rogan Experience #111 — Al Madrigal Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. That's awesome, dude. good it's like that show is like you know it's like, you know, it's like, to me, People tell you, I did his show once and the people these comics because I haven't I don't remember who the comics were, but it was you, it was years back. really really funny i really appreciate that because it that because I chose to take on doing longer stories,

2:55 but the bigger chunk. people see your stuff yeah it already comes come see Al live, okay? Because, goddammit, on people a little bit, on being a glutton She refuses to get off it. You have breast cancer, and your child's on fire. about those fake kids that they have. So he's sort of showing everybody, And I go, dude, put away your iPad. have a huge temper you want you wanted to hurt this person physically uh yeah a little bit i

6:00 Yeah. Yeah. Because I feel like it's like with Greg Giraldo, who I loved as a comic, and I thought he was I did the Guido show a few times at the comedy store. I'm glad because it's very interesting seeing what different cultures It's very hard to pull out of a hole in a black It's like everybody grew up watching the Apollo. That's the most ridiculous thing ever.

8:18 It was something like, he was a drug dealer and he was going to court. You know, Yeah, chaotic world that Nobody gives a fuck, or didn't, at one point in time in that place. And every time she would hit her go on stage through the back door yeah that was you know that was like a serious nightclub that Joey Diaz just got a role for a kid's show, And he sees like a little kid come up,

11:08 I ran into him on a lot when we were both filming a TV show. And Joey was holding him. and he's perfect He lives in an apartment. to these guys i'm allergic that's like my worst nightmare like i die yeah that's crazy you know But 11 cats for certain. it's the dander but uh here's a whoa whoa everyone's allergic everybody you sure you're I had one on my pillow and I slept on it.

13:11 Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of things I can't breathe. to get any welts. And one dude, his throat started closing up. You have to find out. It's going to come back for 10 episodes. That's not true? Kunitz is an awesome producer. I mean, you can do some shit with cameras If somebody else was there that was fun, tell you what though i i if you had asked me after fear factor was over like what i thought

16:09 I think it's fun. coming to the show One of the appeals of the show was that it's ridiculous, you know, for an adult. That's what Wipeout is. i thought it was sweet i thought it was sweet although i look at the word as if it's like the But I said she. And I should have used the word bitchy because that's what I meant. Molesty? Look. and the only reason why I wrote it

19:01 And the whole thing was all about an interview that Quentin Rampage Jr. did. Eventually, it's going to happen. We probably should watch it to see how ridiculous it is. That's chicks all kinds of cunty. you expect it. There's a reason I'm responding to you like this. And I don't think it has a place in mixed martial arts because mixed martial arts is

21:44 lot of these guys, these guys guys get they get their ass kicked they're doing wrong with their diet or their but when you just get snarky and In five years, the president will be saying cunty in a speech. This is ridiculous. you're going to know everything about them. And when that happens, Everybody knows that Kennedy was banging Marilyn Monroe and he was this womanizer and his family came from moonshine running.

24:46 Could you imagine for a second that a guy like Kennedy would have a brief chance at being the president? They knew how to do a lot of shit. on entirely but i respect the fuck out of that move yeah but what's with what did you fuck with and somebody gets to turn it on that you could see it kind of like a graph. either PC or Mac mac where somebody steals

27:32 This was really recently. and stopped that whole movie award shit. Best comedy. The Oprah movie club would be completely different This is such bullshit. it but it's just pretty quite a bit And our boyfriends. So we were all, you know, but it was funny seeing all this. a kid he was in a movie with her and she was directly responsible for getting his part cut

29:55 What do you mean she's directly responsible? for somebody who writes all the in-betweens, Like, what? thing to blame yeah those guys are brutal those guys are so brutal to have conversations with that's better yeah that's that's better well don't better it's like any Sebastian I'm gonna fucking sample green tea I throw it out the window no gets us back to this whole cunty thing yeah um because people love to snipe and also for a critic

32:37 And what it seems to me is like, thing to watch it is i like watching reality tv i like watching the mob wives i like watching the Yeah, she works for one of those places. And people getting so politically correct. Offending everybody with any words. I think it was, commercial or something like that I know right like where it was just swearing I mean, that can say whatever we want. Go fuck it. Shoot loads in it. It's awesome. I mean, that is the R-rated commercial.

35:43 You got no goddamn chance. And if you don't think they can, you're silly. Yeah, I had one of those. It was a virus. So you would, like, what if you, like, reinstalled Windows? my favorite program and it doesn't do anything got all these people pissed off at me emailing me like i like to suck big cock i like to suck to do it. But for a while, I got all these messages

37:53 It doesn't really work anymore. Hide your kids. so I save it. That's the cloud. Yeah, the cloud is the new version of MobileMe, and now it's free. Bro. So I got the biodiesel car. and then I have this hobby car I love it. I think Dodge has this great diesel engine that they use. and all of our water, and we drive away and go kill each other. Oh, there's a bunch of hydrogen.

40:49 If you get 30 gallons, whatever, or 30 miles a gallon, it will take it up to 45. thinking about trading my new car or my i'm not new but yeah car and just because i get 15 miles For folks that don't know, you can make biodiesel with what kind of food? called uh I forget that and then there's one in Echo Park that just reopened their membership That's all the TDIs, cars that are coming out with Volkswagen and burn, Mercedes and

42:58 it doesn't emit that at all there's no you know's not as toxic. I'm not sure how they're making them. And I'm probably a little bit over my head on that. So this is the old style. That's crazy. now because when it's semi-affordable because you're not going to be able to do that five years I don't know about that, dude. That documentary, it's been so long since I've seen it.

44:58 and he allegedly caught some CIA agents dealing drugs in the ghetto, and that it's been something they've done forever, And it's the same thing. They're upgrading everyone to 4G as well. That's totally bullshit. I don't know if you've been to the Comedy Store. Yeah. Just sucking those cell phone signals away. Yeah, and you've got to think about the amount of data that's why that place all the fucking bad hoodoo in the air in that joint yeah just

47:08 And my son came in the other day and goes, Dad, I caught a bee. I don't know what's killing bees, and then people jumping on that theory. You know, why wouldn't cell phones kill gnats first? with bees and then um we um we had this like guy who had this huge hive with him. And he carries uh stunt was about to start yeah so it was a lot of time um this uh This cloud of bees was like an alien horde.

49:24 Sure. No, they're scary looking we have out was i just you know wanted to like look at and move around and everything and when And they're like, give them one an apple. This one lady lives down the street, loves horses. I mean, they ride that thing around. And for women, I think it always feels like it's sexual. Their boots collect their juice. That's what they do.

52:10 It's their flesh. Yeah, a lot of sun. Cunty is a fun word. And that's what you would choose to say. and this is her last I've been using it The front part was where you bought the weed. But the thing. Pipe, away from the mouth. jokes are more poop and fart jokes in the future for me if i ever do that if i ever are you uh yeah You get cunty. to get suspended

54:57 And there was a while when I did, and it just makes you feel bad. We have to accept that. It's not my thing, man. Nothing wrong with that. that is going to niche out I mean, there's internet flames for a lot of people is one of the ways they get out aggression. We can do better, folks. This guy was talking about how easy nowadays is to take your iPhone and put

57:33 Yay. Sweet. That's pretty sweet. chris spencer we just actually had to put our first episode up today oh that's awesome we're get a van like a real van and inside of it you make it cool have you seen them lately or i put No, what is it? I think this might have been These are huge Like oh wow It's got a fucking kitchen These are awesome So getting back to that man With all this biodiesel talk,

1:00:15 It's like I want... We were up about $4.50. sort of hover you know around the same price so if somebody starts bringing their prices up I think it's all about reserve. You're dead right. But I remember when Bush was leaving office. That's what the problem is. Yeah, well, you're right. You're dead right. before they ran out of gas. And so I got on this stretch of the 134 where it was packed all the time.

1:02:08 What do you think? And I remember hearing them discuss it at the time as well. depend on their the end of the world here? That's good. So, um. man, you know, You know, over and over to charge it in la it probably would be a problem that you should probably get but does I know a guy with a windmill who sells back power. My only problem with being the only house with solar power, let's say it all goes to shit.

1:05:18 Walking Dead is a great show. But, you know, that's sort of a thing that we get infected by some sort of a horrible parasite I'd easily be the first guy dead. It's in a hive. And just imagine that. When that chick hacked up her friend with the machete when he got bitten and he tried I mean, there was no romantic, I hate to do this to you, do it go ahead do it no no it was extreme denial and extreme violence the guys

1:07:27 That was her boy. It's standard. Have I really thought about zombies? Where's Eagle Rock? Right before you get there, northeast LA. I'm decent about it. Maria Bamford. Yeah. it's an interesting area though there's a lot of cool people that live in that area you know I don't know how people live in a full city, like full Manhattan. Right, I see what you're saying.

1:10:40 But it's because they're proud of being in an extremely unusual city. You've got Chicago, maybe part of San Francisco, like jay-z standing with fucking beyonce on his arm they looking out into the city, and he's got to be thinking, and we went to his house once, and one to the right. i bet it's cheap i bet seven million is cheap too because he got it in the fucking 50s or something

1:13:03 that you don't realize. 40,000 square foot That's like some Terminator type. It seems like he would have rifle range setup. lofts? Yeah. They all lived Cleaning guns blade. I wonder if there really are dudes out there that are rocking it as like some sort of a out of respect. Joey Diaz wore his hat going to their living room Right. Isn't it a funny thing?

1:15:42 Yeah, I don't know. And the other day, they released some tickets. What are you seeing on the stage? Are you seeing them act things out? HD screen and these lasers that are coming out of everywhere. I mean, it's trippy. It's really like... And then they'll show parts from the movie, That would be just like parts of it. We're thinking we're super high up, right?

1:17:31 and sitting down right in front of me so we're we both look at you're like all right we're doing I would have jizzed all over the place. I just think he was probably goddamn cookies all day, man. an insane tolerance. I couldn't do anything. Everyone's scared of the banana bread. Man, how do those guys not worry constantly about it getting ripped off?

1:19:20 put in extra security and he bought it from another guy. You know, I mean, there's a lot of money to be made there. In case you get pulled over. the doctor, and stuff like that, Yeah, except different pictures. Like in Jersey, they're trying to make it real tight. I don't want to take this if I have this. That's just a if you're going to do a drug, do a drug that's not going to hurt you or kill you

1:22:32 Those people are scary. They had the best fucking time. Leave them alone. that you are saying that is valid If some patient tells you he's going through withdrawals from weed, he's a fucking pussy. weird things with some people though like like people who are in alcoholics anonymous where they Then 20 years later, he started smoking pot. It's like you can't, you know.

1:25:30 everything else he used to do and I think that Well, we get him up at Sal's every time we can. things in my life and I smoke pot, I don't enjoy it because all I get is this bad feeling of, clean their house ever yeah they don't do shit they sit in front of the computer and play with get a bunch of other shit done and you feel really accomplished for your day and then

1:27:46 with taking care of your responsibilities. That's why I was thrilled with that book, And it's all, you know, it's all the procrastination that every artist faces. And there's some guys who are considered masters in these pool cues. okay if i was procrastinating by saying okay if i don't build that space then i have a space to Like an idiot. going to be self-conscious about anybody running into me because i know no one over there right but

1:30:10 I've had some longer, more disciplined days when you're in your best form when you're writing where you don't even know where the fuck the words that, you know, this is a topic of discussion on my down and writing it all you do is sort of recounting everything that you've learned and that is moving without even thinking about what you're doing. You train

1:32:16 And then you make a loop, and how do you hold on to the loop And that's what we're tapping into. Like, that's what it is. And then as stand-ups, You know what I'm saying? Yeah. it's not a Starbucks, other one but it's in la anyway the fucking chocolate croissant whoever makes this chocolate Really caring about it and doing it right five-year-old and then immediately my son got on his back right away and they like the brazilian

1:36:03 And it just was super intense and beat the shit out of him. Let the guy mount you. the way it's always helped me, is whenever I roll with someone and I think that I'm way stronger than them or I'm way better than them, Really? Oh, that's cool. going through different arm drags, going through different takedowns, Like you learn a couple moves and everybody's like, come on, let's just spar, let's just spar.

1:38:29 What do you want to do? And then he did. Teaching children's classes is difficult. They're nutty. When they get tapped out, they cry, and, you know, it's like, ugh. It's going to be my security when the end of the world comes. I don't think everybody should have access to a gun, And I think you should know I think it's better to have it we all together collectively can work together for a much more perfect version of the future and for

1:41:06 We've looked at it as heaven. And then there's the other times when you probably should know how to bust a cap. People getting smarter. Scary. they don't have any connection with that They'll look at you like you're out of your fucking mind. How do you even fix that? like a parent-teacher night, are going to have more school days than we are. and then you try to send somebody to school,

1:44:33 That's the least you can do. As a parent, doesn't that really hurt your feelings? I don't want to watch it. you can't help but empathize with that little kid who's got no one who's worth anything in their life, It's not the best neighborhood up there. And I'm here during the day wearing shorts. especially if you came out of a rough situation. I used to be you

1:46:59 Does it ever annoy you is through everything so um we had career day at our school i remember we had bob sarlott who's a Really? writes roast jokes a good amount of money. Jobs could be funny. and see the whole thing, out here you know it's not necessarily even dependent on. Same thing with everything is what we were talking about Effort. That's like, you know, we are all born with this super complicated fucking computer and not a manual to be seen anywhere.

1:49:34 Fuck yeah. Yeah. You got to trust the right person. would live quiet lives of of despair and desperation is that a fucking quote that someone Yes. you know, here's someone who's the only people I know that are going to get me 100%. then all the comedians from all the shows all over Vegas what time is the show? every Friday And that's June, what is it, 18th or something?

1:52:09 No. and then I start work on that show. Oh, wow. Yeah, like I said, I don't know what's happening with the Fear Factor thing. They'd be thrilled if you went by and you just stopped by for a second Was it like 2000? 2001, I think. that. where you go under 200 people tops. But you're right. I'm still slapping it all together and pulling it apart and looking at it sideways.

1:54:58 You know, I probably should start with one that I know works and works. Yeah. And Twitter, too. Good. so they're free agents. so they come back and bite me in the ass, skyrocket. food everywhere and everything's catered and your makeup is getting done somebody's going are you good joe are you good you know can i get you anything we got some I think Charlie Sheen was a nice guy to a lot of people.

1:57:41 Yeah. Well, psychologically, I think that thing that you were talking about, having everyone He's got a, he's very down to earth. But everybody like when he's around, man, they're like, So my brother, I think I was telling you, was that I didn't have to do any work with actors anymore. that's the only explanation i have for anybody acting shitty is just they're just taking it for

1:59:53 But it's just like, what exactly does that mean? There's a, there's, He goes, oh, he has Asperger's. Like you see that, like you know, you know, the stuff that he has to deal with, as he's driving over a city and then he draws the city in scale, perfect. Really? Yeah, it's amazing. that were our ancestors, you know, our ape ancestors that were flipping over cow turds

2:02:42 thing where i you're talking about seeing a kid that was in the dumpster or anything like that. And then when their kid, there's a kid that walks around our block, the car i want you to take a left and he's you know and i'm hitting my son and my son's putting Well, I was always a big softie for kids No, and it's helped me sort of make better choices as well.

2:05:06 why do you want to ruin the world well my whole thing with the kids is i can barely support myself Yeah, be responsible for it. It's much harder. Oh, yeah. Changed my whole way of assessing human beings. Instead of assessing them as this guy that I'm It's weird. What happened to Bob? Why is he what happened to Bob why is he wearing people are super nice

2:08:35 kind of get outed pretty fucking cool I think so. He just flying triangled somebody in... No, you're talking about boxing. She just started fighting again. Cunt. She's a tough bitch. It was horrible looking. Broke both his fucking hands. So for five But meanwhile, he never quit. But there's a fighter Xbox channel but mixed with UFC. Court McGee. Because there's a court McCoy.

2:12:09 That was funny. He was texting me. People who haven't seen a live fight, But you only get that if you sit close. First tier is actually better like what goes on Nick Diaz once He's like talking 209 and Stockton. No. Wouldn't it be the same like, I'd go yeah of crime Oakland. Oakland's the highest There's something behind that. You want this bitch? But I think that guy really flusters a lot of people

2:15:20 and I can't believe he's doing it and then rides his bike and swims and runs. and he's beating the fuck out of them. And George is such a polite guy You don't know what you're talking about. 20 bucks. And he does some stuff that is This is GSP you're talking about. I thought you were. And he struck with him. Are you really? Because you don't know, man.

2:18:28 And he's got great wrestling. No, it's all right. He's so friendly and so humble and so down to earth and so genuine. I would want to dictate when the butt fucking happens. But, you know, he's such a contrast in style. history when he was in his prime I mean he didn't get, I mean, he didn't get to fight Joe Louis. rocky marciano knocking muhammad ali out and muhammad ali was like whoever knocked me out

2:21:11 he might have been like white guys. He was a small guy. And they would just beat the fuck out of each other. Heavy gloves. it packs tight and hard. before he had that more than one fight through his career with loaded gloves. I was talking to my pal Brian Diamond. There was a guy that showed up at the improv when I was there, And got in a head-on car accident. Some boosters took him out from the college that he was going to be the shit baseball player. And got in a head-on car accident.

2:24:05 Ha ha ha ha that that's who this guy is. So I knew he was mentally handicapped because he'd been in this accident. knocked unconscious and taken off the field. It's more personal because you're naked and he had a suction thing in his mouth and his wife had to suck they die and then they do autopsies on them. But, man, if they start doing CAT scans on dudes while they're...

2:27:06 God damn, you know how hard it must be Dude. how far I could actually make it. I'd get the ball and I couldn't even run to the outside I get tackled in the backfield every fucking time. In my high school, I tried to play football, and I should have gone back. but not good enough to make the team. but I didn't do anything. with human resources and I was trying to do all this stuff to balance out the fact that I was

2:29:57 all these shows that would go. So at 18 or 17, I knew that this was my thing. Like, without a doubt. Really? Well, I got a gig. You did it from 28 to 32 and that's when you quit? Lorenzo was one. How risky does that feel when you have a child Right. I can't go. Like, I have a lot of shit that for me to do like i have a lot She doesn't work. Yeah, I think it is.

2:33:04 So there's life's maintenance shit Especially if it's on a new, even if it's a new house, shit breaks, things break. Constantly managing your, so there's life's maintenance shit because it's so, like you said, No. I'm out in front saying Blue 42 and shit like that. That was in, it's in Santa Barbara. That's hilarious. And my wife goes, I don't know what you should be more pissed about, the fact that he's stealing other people's material or that it's not yours.

2:35:03 It's hard. I've been very fortunate that I've been able to do a lot of different things, Yep, easy. where i started judging the audience rather than letting them judge me and that's how i knew i was like fucking You need to work in some shitholes dude were gonna judge me i go no you guys are thinking you're gonna fucking judge me right now but It's let people pay whatever they want.

2:37:10 No, I just do it on my website. and I figure that's a bargain. Yeah. Not yet. And where can they, really? Probably, So you do a lot of sets at the Improv or the Comedy Store? And then June 25th, we're at the Carnegie Music Hall in Pittsburgh. And then the Mandalay Bay Theater is July 1st. What time do you get to leave? to 10 o'clock, different stores,

2:39:34 So, yeah, I was about to do that. Yeah, so I'm fired up about doing that. started talking about cunty right like With all this other shit going on, Wisdoms? Yeah, there the number one adult sex toy for men. Become a fucking barbarian. Where do you keep that? Thank you very much for everything.