Joe Rogan Experience #1113 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Five, four, three, two, one. We're a little fucking high right now, but we're gonna get through this. No, I didn't feel it. Six? Oh, right. Yeah, which it's apparently a big one, like a 5'9". I think it was even more than that. Was it? 6'5". 6? So when you get up to 7, That's so big. It's a video of lava eating a car. It ate a car. I'm assuming it just got completely melted.

2:28 Yeah. Fuck CNN, bro. Oh my god, like, imagine So shit like this. starts pouring out, Eats your house. Can't do shit. And that is also that plume being in the air, which restricted flying, is all tied into the death of that journalist, Michael Hastings. They started joking around about Obama, stuff like that. It's assassination. He was like, absolutely.

6:12 It turns. so incompetent that I don't want to hear any that motherfucker drive off a cliff? So that's the scary thought. But on this one, you got to look at this guy. Not fucking me. Okay, dude, I'll fucking take one. He gave me a little tiny piece, allegedly. Right like the same same reason I'll be scared of coke. I've never fucked with coke. I like coffee too much

8:58 Well, you got to take into account, like there's the way you feel before you go on stage and Right. get a lot of shit done that way so So that's the thing with journalists, apparently, according to my friend. Well, I think it's a performance-enhancing drug drug so here's the question is it worse than drinking i bet it isn't I really do. Are you sure?

11:15 And then they even included the caveat, would you do that that's not how it works it takes weeks before your body even totally transitions But you don't do it over four days. I was watching a video with this guy from, you know the company called Flavor God? Sugar's the third ingredient in fucking garlic salt. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. It says it's a regular, it's a big company.

13:27 I was pouring this. I put a little of this. Fucking asshole. She was infecting her hepatitis C blood into their medication. I'd read that she injected the medication with her blood. She's not been formally did something super irresponsible and used her needles on these patients so what she did was No, it's the same one. Yeah. And this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach, was talking about how you have to realize like there's a lot of people out there that over time,

17:27 But then he started going on about how many doctors they find dead from overdoses and What do they use the liquid coke for? and she would just do that you ever done that no i've never even seen that before yeah the coca leaves that's apparently the extra sugar in there and stirred that bitch up. They're fucking great. Yeah. Adderall, Adderall, Adderall, Adderall.

20:00 That's what I say. Just go a little higher than me and you got it. boys in the year 2005. Yeah. No, I just read it the other day. That's a huge hit to the hemp legalization. Yeah, it just loosens everything up. Whoa. The fact these assholes decided that it'd be a good idea to make that illegal so dumb You ever watch that show, Live PD, I think it's called?

23:32 You're a criminal. That's so dumb. Let him do whatever he wants. But if you're like, man, fuck Willie Nelson. Kanye's record release is in the center. Because a lot of the media scrutiny on him being fat, he said, He should definitely run for president then. I would take Kanye over Trump any day, though. And from that point on, he became a different person.

26:18 They would consider using that as a defense if that trial was to happen today. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but they're saying that he probably had that too. I mean, if you get hit in the head a lot, you have brain damage. I said they've never seen a brain like his in someone younger than 46. No, they do say though the damage accumulative it's a cumulative

28:14 But I was like, so you mean a guy who gets knocked out. A lot of people are trying to say, no, no, no, Ali got Parkinson's. doesn't mean the brain disease didn't come And people are like, yeah, but he used to like to drink. Jesus. Oh, 100%. your fucking legs would go bang like your legs would go and you'd cover up and people would be throwing bombs on you.

30:45 Doing taekwondo, I definitely got hit in the head for me came when I tried to transition from Taekwondo to kickboxing. Doing Taekwondo, I definitely got hit in the head, for sure. At least TKO'd. You get hit and everything shuts off. They just gave out for a second, and then he came back, Taekwondo, you didn't punch in the face, you only punched the body

32:15 Everybody sparred. Eyes roll behind their head. Yeah, let's keep going. They'd let him keep sparring. around is when I started getting into tights. It's really crazy. up flights of stairs, dude. Just think of how much power that is in your legs. You could throw your If somebody hits you perfect. This Thai guy was 175 pounds, so much smaller than him.

35:03 This dude just comes over the top. I mean, back that up again, because that is a crazy thing to watch. Yeah, I was thinking more like two 10-year-olds. And if they learn how to do that from the beginning You've got guys who figure out that you can be like really elusive and confusing. coming. Roundhouse kick. Front kick to the face. They win fights through brawling and power and just kinetic brute force rather than artistry

37:47 Drops a fucking left hand on the button. Sometimes guys just decide they'd rather bite down their mouthpiece and let the fucking they just try to win, try to stop it But I also love real technical fights where I see like two artists trying to solve each other's riddle, trying to figure each other out, you know? flying knee to the chin or to the head.

39:27 Fedor caught him with a left hand and dropped him and put him away. He was trying to get him back and he wound up just to figure out how to get their You don't know until they get in there for the most part. What if they weren't there? They're actually elevated. if they can't see? I have all this shit at my disposal. a headbutt. We're going to show you that as soon as we can.

41:51 They can't call up a replay like I can. Watch after the fact because you don't want their attention taken from what's Did he get rocked or did he fall on his ankle? Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. right, which they have a team of people We talked about it with Michael Just blow up their fucking Twitter account. They're doing it because they actually love it.

44:07 how bad the judges are. you probably are willing to have some knowledge on the sport. You've got to pay for your vote in that case. And if you're optional, you can put in your own score. You got slams and throws and, come on, wheel kicks and spinning back kicks. They should have a full bodysuit that detects punches and how strong it is. and they wear something that covers their midsection too.

46:27 She had a wardrobe malfunction shows his nipple. Girl goes who fights shows his nipple. I mean, anything. to show skin like that. It's pretty ridiculous. What if you're super flat chested? That's okay? Whoa. That's neat. Wow. then have a fake nose and a fake mouth, and it looks like a completely different face and then she opens her real eyes and I

49:12 There were some girls that were playing games on Twitch So you know there's going to be a few girls that just go for it. on everything. Did she contact you like she was half off How dare you? The new one, I almost got scammed the other day. Do they call you when you're high? Yeah. because they haven't been a part of it. to say like a quarter million dollars and his daughter was like it's not really you can see

52:36 And he's just on there all day. catch them i chased them out of my yard they're trying to get my chickens but this is a predator Sad. You can meet girls. I was like, what the fuck are they saying? Well, I mean, it would be nice if people could just meet people in the real world. there was there was the fucking thing where they wanted to sue online dating apps.

55:48 fucking you need to tell them piece of shit What about Tinder and Grindr? That's ridiculous. cut you off in time and say, hey, you got too drunk, anyone's going to stop that? Oh, 45 of them raw-dogging dudes, that doesn't have anything to do with me. gave her name out or not but she was she worked in a brothel and she was talking about it where this girl who, I don't remember if they gave her name out or not, but she was, she worked in a brothel and she was talking about it.

58:49 Like, why is that illegal? ever look at it that way the war on sex workers needs to stop now. but it's a good example. Why is it okay for me to get a massage? If they jerked you off, that would be a terrible sin against God and man. Prostate massage. Apparently some people get it where they use a tool. That's fine. Okay. Okay. What am I doing? and modern lifestyle.

1:02:06 out all that shit that's happening in massage parlors but like you know 10 years ago i had no I just need you to tell me about my future and the psychic is like I sense there's a problem Yes, that's it. How is it possible he knows? friends and all this he knew my grandmother's whole, everything It's crazy. I bet there's some, probably. and you'd see what it was.

1:06:10 she's like you don't get along with your brothers I knew she was full shit. I looked I have any brothers. She's like What do you say? Gun to the head. weird thing is the placebo effect. Like top-of-the-food-chain assassins. I go, I don't think so. And they're like halfway pushed down. Because you weren't holding it back. Oh my God, is this fake? Life is a hologram.

1:09:15 Right. and therefore we engage in misleading conduct. Yeah, because Australia is fucking smarter than us. think that would work they had to publish that in an australian media yeah because australia that are mixed with the cbd you know like like they'll take like the same ingredients that's in bengay and then put cbd in Want some of this? And this was a dumb one because I meatheaded my way through it.

1:11:45 was this rubber thing. Oh, is that a roller? No, it's not. It's called a Thermaband. I've You twist this thing and in the release, you twist it with your hand like this. So I'll just pick this fucker up and do it 10 times, 12 times, 15 times, and do it several times a day. Eccentric way? Yeah. And right now, just me even saying it, I'm like, it's still actually really sore.

1:13:35 hands like that for work and you started feeling balls Because the dead person's sperm will always be in those balls. You could make Jamie's cum. Let's just call it jizz for scientific purposes. and they took their cum and just mixed it up like a swirly. They gargled it. Ooh. Yeah. What are you talking about? He's a handsome fellow, that bodyguard.

1:16:22 Okay, if you really give a fuck. I guess he's got Meniere's, and he most, like, very recently, but I can't hear music he just woke up Whoa. Yeah, yeah, just occasionally just go real high not like every day. That's what it is. They shot those clays with shotguns. I don't think I, growing up, I ever even thought of that. Nowadays, it doesn't matter, though,

1:19:01 You can put them in your hearing, So he's saying, this is how I shoot guns if I don't have ear protection. like those hippies used to wear in a belt buckle. looks like he has a concussion almost. So there's a video, It says 50 BMG. I don't know what that means is that 50 caliber is what that means so look at this into the night that is such a war weapon

1:21:59 No, I don't. I think Uber's great. They prefer limos, you know? Yeah. and some passerby stopped and helped her, with any ride share company but with uber it's so weird it's just a person Yeah, and that's how people get around. You're like, whoa! or no everybody has and I get in a car to drive you around like they're from the country and they talk weird and they

1:25:57 And I forget how Ari asked her. we're traveling. But you know, He had the little strings that hang from his belt. He used to have the weird curls, too, and all that stuff. Because I think only someone who's truly seen it from the eyes of an absolute believer. I think he had his head shaved like a bald. I like the mohawk look. me about like Yeah, so he grew up in the Jehovah's Witness.

1:29:16 Why do we need to do that? Jesus, I await thee in heaven. Yeah. He's slowly bracing you for the fact that all this is nonsense. The Vatican did not say there is no hell. Let's just assume that one day they're, see, this is what they do. they tell you hell's not real He's the cool pope. Pope Francis in the fucking house. And the guy on the right is the new guy who's just got a sensible chair.

1:32:15 He dresses like R. Kelly on a Sunday. Where's your fish head hat? That's like a monster. This fucking show sucks. You're making fun of our holy father this is on this fucking show sucks you're making fun of our holy father he's right there with the smoke oh my god how is this still legal look at these kids dressed up like they're in harry This cross is all over the place.

1:33:54 But this shit is weird. This is some really old form of Just had a pink mic. And I was raised there. Yeah. That was really all we were doing. It's so bananas when you're in that room and you see those benches all laid out up to the pulpit. It looks like a monkey. St. Peter was black they were right out I was told that because I'm Italian, I'm not white.

1:37:02 Israelites, I am not white. look at how they're dressing they have shields and shit bro This guy's got an axe. There was something in the text that went with it. High Holy Day Passover in Harlem, New York, 2012. It looks like fun until someone gets drunk and starts swinging that axe around. Look at that outfit. When they have the sword? manor was a place like that in boston i think there's a few of those all over the i never went

1:39:29 It's kind of cool. She was like, bitch, we're here making believe. Like, you're not supposed to break character. a goddamn why not why not they still think they're pirates. So, like, when they talk to their Google Home thing, Come on, you piece of shit. Yes. You took it from me. Short for motherfucker. but it could be a verb as well right yeah if you're actually a motherfucker ask sir with

1:43:42 Like, Mommy, how do I know what mommy is? Ooh. Siri, are you allowed to swear? I just thought that was weird. Wow. Like what Siri can do and not do. What's better, Siri or Bixby? with that Google Pixel 2 phone It's better. You can project a fucking movie on a wall. I love Apple Pay. What did you think about the U.S. government they did it, but it's a

1:48:09 Something about servers that they sold to Iran they're not supposed to sell. if anything is in there, we'll find it. keep out the number three They're communists, but you can make money. That gives me an electro power. Is he wearing them right now? It's crazy. You see regular camera photos and then you see I don't know how that works. Or maybe touching it, and then it'll give you a slight pause, and then it'll start.

1:51:00 so bad. It makes me excited. But I think what's really, well, there's a bunch of things interesting to me about it. Yeah. Cores. Yeah, overclocking still, I don't think it pushes above five maybe. That shit's real. And it was fun Badass computer, no. They gave me a pretty cool glass with my logo on it and all that kind of shit. It's powerful. The keyboard is way more responsive.

1:54:50 You get a feel of what you're doing and where the letters are. It's the worst. Well, this is useless. I wish This ThinkPad, Jamie. Press, press, press, press, press. It's not like a That's the crazy thing. I have no idea. What game, though? you'll love this. Bring some people into a room. You'd be the Ninja. Ninja. Like when they have these, they would do a lot of these one-on-one death matches, and

1:58:14 they're just really smart. They could do it in a way that other people don't know how to do. You have to gain advantage. He knows there's a guy over there, and he's going to attack right now. Why? And it's weird because grown adults just fall in love with this overnight. You're doing things and you're thinking on multiple levels about put stuff here, move stuff there.

2:00:38 Who was saying that? It's now Blizzard Arena right down the street from me. I want you to put on Quake Champions. shit. I want to show you guys what the fuck's good. What is this? yeah this reminds I mean What happened to that? Brillantless. Yeah. That's one of the things that some people like about... What was that Half-Life game that people would play?

2:03:32 Oh, shit. So if you go to Quake 1, This looks incredible. Here we go. They have a Quake 1 game live now? I like to go to sleep watching a girl play some boring ass game. graphics. I think there was Rocket Arena. There was a Joe Rogan level, remember? I remember that. indulge a little bit here virtual reality man that's the new that's my that's my favorite man

2:06:31 I think it's the original. It's an upgraded version of it. So this is Doom VFR, which is I could have brought it. No, you don't need to do that anymore, man. I'm trying to make 130. You want to see graphics. At first, I told Duncan That's just the game. Oh, yeah There it goes. Wow. 10 20 20 for sure right in 20 years i don't know you don't think so i'm sort of skeptical on this

2:10:26 everyone go out and spend $2,000 on looking at. You're just saying that it's not happening quick. also sometimes connected to those three Have you seen that thing? 20 years from now, they'll probably have it like, I think it's easy to get lost in it. You know the animated movie with the... Is it Gru? I mean, it's stunning to look at. You've done the Simpsons game, right?

2:12:49 and your car moves up and down The 4D theaters out here? You ever done that? developing you about that yeah i'm doing something weird yeah i think group things are going to be really like a bicycle helmet with, you know, it straps on. Yeah. i feel like we talked about. But then you got to stop people from like physically assaulting each other in the virtual world.

2:15:51 The Void. Yeah. where one is skydiving, where you're hanging. Yes. it takes you towards this giant screen and on this giant screen, you soar all over these different parts of the world. and there's different smells That bear looks so fake by the way. which was pretty amazing too. Then all of a sudden you'll be in Paris or you'll be somewhere else. uh,

2:18:29 if you're standing on it. I get halfway through it. No, this is crazy pool? When you shoot arrows at them? Virtual pool? Yeah, if you don't have the space. Yeah, but you could also be playing on the moon. There's video games you could play, too, on your phone, but I've never even thought about it. virtual porn I just They're still filming it sloppy and edited sloppy.

2:21:31 No, I did not. They're going to do some crazy giant Star Wars thing out here, right? I just have this little cynical view on it, just like maybe. It reminds me of the old days of the internet. but dressed up as uh and are you talking in your voice? A lot of racist people on there. for their actions? you're a 40 year old man from the Bronx. Well, It's a new toy.

2:23:52 online bullying to only talking about I posted something the other day at this chicken place. They weren't paying attention to your chicken. of what was really happening. whatever reason turns itself on to ring all the time. Look at mine. Yeah. I dropped it the first day there, and I had to order a new one. fuck i just dropped it and just went haywire that's crazy yeah i broke it and so uh when i got

2:26:51 I know. Someone smoked too much weed. No, no, no. 35%. It's the future of all technology Yeah, Ford decided to stop making cars except the motherfucking Mustang, America. It's a fucking incredible car. Like a lot of these cars now they don't businesses to make appointments on your behalf. That's a fake voice. They got alms in there? o'clock 10 a.m is fine okay what's her first name the first name is lisa okay perfect so i will see lisa at 10 o'clock on may 3rd okay great thanks great have a great day bye that's awesome i love

2:30:32 yeah 20 years in 20 minutes. Apple or something like that It makes me mad. I hate it. Ugh. ...from Canada Revenue Agency. But they didn't really get you. What? Oh, we are so lucky that you have contacted me at this moment for dangers in the air, sir. battles. Chris is so funny, man. so terrified of getting old yeah like everybody is everybody is. So, like, there's this thing where someone will make fun of you.

2:33:58 He said, at least when my career dies, you can film it and put it on YouTube. Yeah. You know how strong that is? Say, but not gonna lie, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ask your fans to have their moms read this tweet oh what's the thing that he deleted oh that's hilarious and admitted to watching He's hilarious. It's like everything about it. They really are.

2:37:11 where the same amount of time that people spend on social media, That Black Mirror episode about the DVR, where everyone can record. for you or reinterpret them after you're awake but i think it's record them as you're sleeping You're like embarrassed that you even thought that even though you had no control of it? It's just what people strive for.

2:39:17 It seems like it easily could be happening. The other kid on the other side of the table has a 12-inch iPad The kid's playing the game. Weird. your temper or controlling your emotions or controlling the way you interact with people and you know the the realness of it it's kind of getting faded you know death is way more in your Only cats had that. Didn't that start with cable, though?

2:42:41 I remember a video a friend of mine sent me. I used to always talk about this, and just the brutal KOs, you know, It was never like, increasing. That's what I think. instantaneously pull up video of a volcano eating a car? be on your list of shit you got a small amount of things to think about in front of you you could ever. Rivers I get paranoid. It was too many people.

2:45:13 Living here in L.A., you go to this old parking garage that's downtown. It was a really big one, right? In the middle of the game, What's the coincidence of that, We know that it happens. Second base, so the Oakland A's take. We think of it like, yeah, yeah, earthquakes are real. This is probably the biggest There it goes. Yeah. and I kept on thinking about the ceiling just caving in because that's like an old building.

2:48:23 Yeah, they put all that stuff, to reinforce it from earthquakes. I'd probably say earlier than that. But what was it before in that building? He's an awesome guy. Doing that butthole thing. and said like, hey, we're not open right now. Right. Right. Don't they? Not really. to we got to figure out a way to put a stop to this like what are you wasting

2:51:59 It doesn't seem to make any sense. That's what they do. Uh-huh. When they're really fuckable. That chick's going to wait until you're sleeping The new sex robots? And it's not bad. You know Fleshlight? Yeah. I think this podcast Way better. A guy made a homemade dick sucker? choo-choo right onto his dick. It's such a bad idea. Proof of concept. I think we learned a lot today

2:56:26 I am very confused when it comes to the future. it happen right now in front of us. We're seeing the little baby steps like, nah, nah, we're so Well. And they're everywhere, all over the planet the planet people living lives and you interface with those interesting. You'd be like, look I want paper. I want to wipe my ass I want a tree. Yeah. I've seen right out of soy.

2:59:47 Is it a startup? That blood test company story Yeah, and she had become this self-made person. In this company. It's a really interesting story. So I don't know if the blood test did or didn't work or if she's got a story that needs to be told. if you get a blood test, I use that one all the time. Richest self-made woman worth four and a half billion okay so why

3:02:51 in a scam it's all bullshit what yeah they're being charged with massive fraud no no yeah your ICO's initial coin offerings is what it's called. Exit scammers run off with $660 million in ICO earnings. But it's all the same scams. Okay. I don't know. Now I send you that letter. How'd it get all the way over here? That was like a hippie scam. Agreed?

3:05:23 It allows us to do this show. You can go over the waterfall? they're gonna take over your life Pablo's in the house and then but and Texas A few left on YoungJamie.com.