Joe Rogan Experience #1126 — Erik Griffin Transcript

Transcript

0:01 You don't want them to know. I love how it interacts. You just want to know stuff's going on. but the Worldwide Developers Conference At least sometimes I leave my phone. Okay. We're not. It's too much, right? Everybody wants to text. So we're slowly getting back to where it's going to be. It's you're making an emoji of yourself called Memoji. Apple's ripping people off.

3:23 Really? Tell your girlfriend. It'll be me buying her an Android. Oh, but Samsung has one. Who do you know? Okay, so you were given a Google Pixel. what are you showing me, Jamie? I don't know why they don't just work together. They're like, I'm not getting it. Yeah, at that point. pause. Like, I just fucking killed the queen. So then it still wouldn't work.

6:12 Apple's thing. They make it free does not update their software very systems come out, they're better, supposedly. Well, there you go. do, like, can you hack them? You can hack and then you would jailbreak it, started on this i'm getting you started i know i just motherfuckers and i can't believe the shit You remember Windows Phone? Windows Phone wasn't

8:44 that windows had a phone and people are like, nah. You know what's not easy, though? Like, these keys have motion to them. keyboard and they depress with your fingers like you you have there's motion to it so there's no Our generation is this and call waiting. Yeah. I was going to call a Christmas one first. How old were you at the time? the new macbook pros you just you just can't handle use that it's not good yeah it's just

11:58 There's a shit ton. But look at that keyboard. Look how i need a keyboard i feel you i need it so i sometimes i could take a beating too yeah i has blown up like this before For a month straight. Like I'm talking about... Thousands of notifications. That guy could topple notifications. And I put it down like this, and it's just... Like, I'm talking about...

13:37 I mean, this little kid is only 24, right? No, he's not. Out of nowhere. Yeah. Just go over there and talk about Muslims. have fingerprint so there's like three different ways to like register and then you'll get everyone's with Columbia DVD because we're old, but back in the day, you would sign up for cassette You'd get Aerosmith. But they would just send you, so you would pay

16:04 and if you don't, you have three days to pick. It says it's $35 for like two or something like that. And they say it's $9.95 each, but the record companies are so gross dude i've been talking to people i had steven tyler in here was He's a super sweet guy, too. You don't get that famous at the time No, no, no. Listen, I've been around Bieber. I want to go here. When you get used to it get me a water. Get the car. I want to go here.

18:42 And then I went. at the laugh factory and he was there he was watching and then scooter who's a buddy of mine He's very talented. Tone it down. oh it's out of control it would be like American Idol auditions it would be There's nothing like that in comedy other than Chris D'Elia. Dozens of people have died after erupted. in New Zealand? I just know they, I think,

21:45 Yeah, the Cook Islands, man. Right, right. With water. Yeah, look, you can't lie on this show, because this guy's going to fact check you right away. I didn't like the city. Yeah, exactly. we were i mean it was it was it was too soon how long were you guys dating it was too it was too There you go. My girlfriend's Jewish. They went on a cruise one day, stopped in Malaga, and then my mom's like, we got to

24:14 That's crazy. It was great. It was one of these Okay. I get up and I, I had to vomit. And the way she was acting, oh my God. but at the time wow fucking cheeseburger on you know how we say we get with our mother you know There's something that happens on the plane where you're like, oh, I don't like you. Maybe if you're an outdoorsy person and you want to leave the hotel.

27:21 she made you change your phone though it's kind's kind of fucked up. I know. That was the compromise. Soon as it's over, bro. Yeah, we're coming up on a year. How old are you now? And one thing I'll say first, I feel the love. you know that's awesome yeah i really do feel the love she's a I told her, you know what she did? No, but check this. I changed my phone number. Throw my phone in the ocean. It was like, it was like, it was like that's where i quit i'm out but check it check this no but check this

29:14 time to back off. And that's awesome. Yeah. So I said, OK, I want to make it work. You didn't say her name. You know what I mean? But it changes after a while, right? the one thing i struggle with is that like look I'm knee deep in my career but I remember when I was 30 I wasn't doing this I was right I just started you were hustling I was Oh, Jesus.

31:58 Look at you. I misspoke. went and i loved that and then by the way the uh the uh showcase for the the graduation was at the Wow. And he goes on, and at the time at the time I remember watching him thinking superman you know that was like i thought that was hilarious at the time um no black people on I don't even think it's even open mic. then then that person now thinks that this is how you do it and they bring that to la and new york

35:07 And conveying that is the hard part. to another short premise and then it becomes a it becomes a bit and the bit becomes uh you know Your comedy is the same way. But when we look at them, we go, oh, I'm actually – this subject actually flows into this, and it connects very nicely. I didn't know and I didn't know what to do. So I floundered around, too because I was a funny guy.

37:35 There was no mentors. work there as door guys i feel like everybody's just a comic. That's different. That's different. But like there's a sort of, but even still, like it's like, I don't know if it's so appropriate By the way, I used to do that. I'm a juggernaut. Oh, look at the time. Like I was telling you earlier, I saw you at the laugh factory with hair, you know,

39:34 Something happened. And some people go up there and they're mellow. Yeah. And you're like really. like I'll go into a bit slower But sometimes I'll say, all right, well, this bit might be all just bullshit. It's really difficult for me because I'm just a funny looking guy But I know that I could do a thing that they're going to, are they laughing at what I'm talking

41:42 Right? Or do you even want them to laugh at how you are connected to what you're talking about? And I think that that's another element. no categories you know what's funny about that though is i know that there's no categories but you're not going to reinvent the wheel. they're telling the story and nobody says anything, You know? But I mean, that's just the case with all songs and everything too.

44:17 Like if you heard like, put an example, Hank Williams Jr. There's something about the story. He doesn't even have to have like music behind it. You felt the anguish. You're a solid muscle now. The last time I checked, it was 10%. That's not good. I'm going to the boxing thing and it's like- Hitting pads? You guys holding pads for me? The guy's holding the thing and there's something that tricks City. Oh, shit. Getting your bugs on. Yeah, it's... Hitting pads.

45:55 Motherfucker. Women in the boxing thing, like they really – that shit is – when you see a – is to see a woman fighting and then the first Oh god Self help sets What is that What is this? She doesn't fight in the UFC, but she's got blood on her, and she's going like this. Have you ever been live? I'll get you good seats. But I think that... Amanda Nunes.

48:30 something happens, will beat her up. I just, I can't get the disconnect. I can't. There's not a beast will beat her up. There's such a big difference between Eric Griffin. out to get some i'm done i'm done with you i need some strange and i want she went to the comedy I don't know. with a girl one time. and she was pushing people So I knew at that point I was like, oh, you can't do that.

50:07 Yeah, yeah. pissed me off too? he hit me. No kidding. So let's go back to the difference between you punching Rhonda. Good for her. I didn't like seeing it. What I'm saying though is I couldn't, I didn't like seeing her face look like that. She shouldn't have fought that woman. I didn't like seeing it. was bruised and battered. She just got the fuck beat out of her

52:00 and there's consequences It was a money marketing. against people like Sarah McMahon. They were going to do a Roadhouse movie. and nutrition and all these different things. As a lay person. Right. Just looking looked bigger. Holly's very physically impressive. a good fight. But that was my first And then, sure enough, it didn't go well. Let me check out. Wow, that girl looks big.

55:13 It would have been the best thing. One blemish on your record and it does something. still beat his ass still beat him but john jones is really undefeated john jones has one loss in You know Eric Koch from Tukruf? He's a bad motherfucker. Be careful. No, but Joe, I'm saying I went with You know, so I'm in there and we're boxing. And I was like, after he hit me twice, something locks in, man.

57:32 Finish the fight like you're on the street. I was like how can these people throw 50 punches I thought about doing one a while ago. Privacy. And I've done a bunch of things, This is going to all be on your tape. I think it calms me down. That's interesting. Like if I see a movie that moves me, I might go on a stage and be like, did y'all see this movie?

59:58 Dude, we did Fear Factor in the Queen Mary. And they had that and then Terry from the Ha Ha, Wednesday night, 10 p.m. 10 p.m. Ice House. She didn't even talk to me. What year? So we're showcasing the same day. She didn't like it. Dane was supposed to showcase that night too. But he refused to tourgasm with Dane Cook. Yes. Dane was supposed to showcase that night too.

1:01:36 But you had to showcase, right? So a year and a half later, but I know there was a method to his madness, fucking light too you know i was like fuck this whoa what year are we talking about this this is That's all I needed. And then So again, but I needed the challenge. Yeah, man. Yeah. So I remember I tried to showcase for him. and we laugh a little bit we laugh a little bit i go on stage i murder it and then i'm headed to

1:04:35 At that moment, Richard is in the hallway. and like being like, okay, you're in. joe rogan before possibly do you know joey like you have to get into these situations joey can't He went up Girls asses like drinks were falling off tables the lights were dimming they were shortened out and mike was So he just didn't want to do it. Oh, that's beautiful.

1:06:43 That's what I learned when I got back into it later, too, to be like that man the 90s in the 90s everybody was like dog eat dog it was different like there Yeah, but no, because golf, you're competing. You're still competing for the championship. What the fuck does that mean? Well, there's only, okay. Well, then there's enough then. For real. Because there's joking. Maybe worldwide. Well, there's only...

1:08:33 Well, I'm just saying at a club, though, there's only 52 weeks for them to book one guy. For the good weekends. Yeah, you get- radio where you had to get up early in the morning and then you try to get some sleep I mean, I'm talking out of my ass if I- That's the thing is like, if you don't get good sleep, and that's a problem with doing That's where it fucks you up three nights in a row.

1:10:44 I got to add that. You got to add that. This is my move. I got to add that one, man. I don't fuck around. Just make yourself sweat. Why do people say that? Yeah, unless you have a silk sock. At the airport. And of course they had checked it everywhere I mean, I think we're, you know how this feeling we have about self-driving cars? When I see them, I have a disconnect of like, I can't.

1:13:06 They have a life-size sheep. I just typed in sex robot. That one on the left. It's not a sex robot. Shop for sex robot on girl mannequin with realistic features. That would be dope. Yeah, we're getting there. Look at that hole where the neck is. If this was, like, 1960, this is a science fiction movie. Because it would be so far removed from reality.

1:15:13 Some sort of thing where you can stimulate the mind in a way that you think things are happening. I think also- Like leg kick it. Well, there you go. It's totally possible. Yeah.. But it's a training thing. Yes, yes. Yeah. Well, there you go. Oh, no, no, no. What this is good for is hyper-extending your fucking elbows. Because I have a dummy that I practice

1:16:59 fucking choke them over and over and over Why does the Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, yeah. Like, if you didn't mind practicing on the girl real doll, So it's probably like dating, you know? I bet they do that. I bet they don't even Right. It's like, what is it for? It's just to into like watching violence like that. when you, oh my god, this is Remember when he was playing in the NBA?

1:20:03 So is this like this was normal? It's hard to see what's going on. Rudy comes That ruined his career. So you really think that... I take my hand out of these gloves and Same with punching a person. Two extra ounces missing. Oh, I couldn't even. Orbital bones. oh, that's Joe Rogan. in that mode, too. know it's great you know so but that's your world so i'm not trying to disrespect your world but

1:22:32 Unless it was boxing gloves. I know what you're saying. skin. on your hands because it gives people an unrealistic idea of what you could do with your hands and why Give me one second here, and I'll find this. This? Yeah. that dude got ko'd by jeremy stevens who's like one of the most ruthless knockout artists in the Yeah. I kickboxed and I fought in a lot of taekwondo tournaments.

1:25:33 It's also a young man's game because by the time you're 40, you got to think you've been Dude, you look at, like, even other sports. He can't even. That's why I think they should let every professional athlete for, like, there's a week period where they get to take some steroids and recover. Well, they can do the cryo. Then we'll start training camp.

1:27:36 And sometimes you need help getting your hormones to normalize. Do you watch football, basketball, none of that? they got curling they got stuff where i go we would never show this bullshit I got a big nose. The sound. I don't get a thrill out of that. Yeah, that's the argument against elbows, actually, is that the cuts stop good fights, Bag of snot.

1:29:55 It's like alien. I watch it a lot. When is it coming out? How, is that why you're here? When is it coming out in home get it June 8th on Showtime In Portland. grenades on it you know what i mean like we like the chicken crust Topical shit. And we just don't do that, and we got to do do that now i think we should be doing that because they're be a giant to get one. Right.

1:32:48 A career. It came out last year, but I taped it two years ago, a year before. can they watch it on Amazon or anything like that? With all this stuff that's been going on, especially with Trump. In all caps, he wrote pardon. Yeah, so you say, well, that's a vote for Trump, really, in this day and age. Yeah, Northern California. That's how big. And they have.

1:34:59 It would be a poor state. Like, we have 55 now, so then it would Christ. Oh, I thought it was way more than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. in the same circles. or do you have a house? this job I'm in now is the last job I'll ever have, and I'm going No, I don't. We'll be competing, right? When they watch you, they listen to your podcast, and then they listen to the next one.

1:37:33 That's how I look at it. What a juggernaut they are. you're like, hey, what's What it does to your brain. Oh, you're on a Showtime show. It's a good thing. Like, one of the most successful things ever. that each pay $10 a month. $100,000, which I know they didn't. I'm like, $500 times 25 weeks is, what is that? And then people watch it in one week, it's over.

1:40:11 Do you know how crazy that is? Netflix is making shit tons of money. I think they took on another $8 billion in debt. 2025. That's what I'm talking about, man. I like Showtime. See, this is like that time I saw you... My first special I did with Rooftop, which was now owned by Amazon. This is not a bad place. So my special comes out on Friday, but only 10 minutes at a time.

1:42:16 We've got to come up with... Good. That's how I do it. I feel you. last time in San Francisco, just think I had two barrels. And you have to own it when you talk about this stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's definitely, it's not just the Trump era. And then you say anything and they're just like, For real? Never. in all capital letters, myself. And he's up there saying, you know I, uh,

1:46:01 elected. And it worked. Kevin Christie's right now listening to this He's a gloater. I think that this is a just because you can doesn't mean you should situation. You have a lot of people's jobs that are depending on you. from? They're like, ah, I shouldn't have said it. me. I've talked to other people who know her. I've talked because they go oh she's got an illness this is why she can't run this is why she's coughing up blood she's got a mental illness

1:49:42 She goes I thought she was Jewish. She goes look at her. She doesn't look black. Oh, that makes it okay. behavior we're not even going to say that there's uh you know yeah and i think And that is a woman who's clearly black. was to be funny she And this is one of the reasons why Ambien has so many weird side effects associated with it. He's like, I did not.

1:52:58 She was I don't remember doing it at all. She's it's scary shit She had bronchitis when she was filming. thing like here's the thing like if she was not mentally ill There was nothing wrong with her Like say if someone from What's a new one that's on TV? Is a pretty blonde girl in the Big Bang Theory? She shouldn't be on television You can't get away with this anymore

1:55:13 It's just not the case. unusual thing in our society like we this go this is this very much reminds me of the Salem witch hunt. it themselves? So when they see someone who's doing He hugged her. I didn't mean to do that. got caught up in the wave It's a good thing. Right. It's the same thing that goes with oversensitivity. They had to do it because otherwise, you know, they would be sexist

1:59:15 she was intoxicated that it was sex uh under the influence so it was rape and so she goes to the gotta have a now to even interact with them And they're debating this in a college Well, it's also about taking responsibility for your actions if you're an adult. with his friends and you get sloppy drunk. wake up with their pussy sore and their fucking pants off and not knowing what happened and be super confused.

2:02:03 them on the head that girl writes that crazy fucking story. hey, you still blew him three times, right? You ever heard Ali Wong talk about this? I'm like, I think you should go. because i'm i'm hideous or whatever so now i felt like oh i have to fuck her Yeah, that's definitely. It could easily be somebody, she could tell her story differently. it depends on who's talking

2:05:22 and did it, you would I just couldn't do it. Right. In that situation, if you don't drink, you never have to think like that. know her skirt's coming up and you see the creepy guy you see the guy that she's like you're like And you fucking hater. has just been like of a studio I just wish that a lot of these people... I know. Never? 1999 I never they thought it was the end

2:08:51 They were drunk. people die because they're choking on their own vomit so like there's people that are like passed have some drinks so i i had like i had like a banana daiquiri on on a you know and i was like What about weed? Yeah, did you get nervous? If I didn't have, You're a very nice guy. level that like you can't necessarily do with regular people.

2:11:17 Boom. It applies to things on stage. Because you can relate. Are you close with your dad? Yeah, I've never met my dad. I never knew. But become someone that people count on and count on people. filled with people and the family was always there and everyone was there you might take people for They have their things. But she told me his name and she was like, if you want to do this on your own,

2:14:27 with children it's a true unconditional love it's not just true unconditional it's like they're a When I was like seven years old, I lived in San Francisco. Trying to make it, trying to make it trying Right, you were holding a baby and turning over drunks. that people that think that you know you have to let him hit rock bottom and get but I'm just not

2:16:54 But, you know, it was just I always was there for him. depression you know lost his mother and you know and how that affected his whole life. So I'm there and he's younger than me. So I feel this mentorship and I just feel like a loyalty that I just can't shake. especially if you pull off some controversial shit. in spain right now they moved to spain like a like i say like a year and a half ago and

2:19:20 Dude. but we found another outlet to get a big one too, man. Family is, um, it's, uh, it's a different thing, man. It changes you. more in touch. But it's just like you realize, knuckle boxing fight? Patience. But that becomes a problem. And I understood, though, because it was because her family wasn't like that. we need to feel, you know, happy and smiling.

2:22:48 I know she's mad what did I do I was very young at the time. not real housewives desperate housewives terry what terry hatcher this was back like she was in What did I do? Are you kidding me? was mad that i didn't use her as an example of someone really hot oh god sometimes she was mad Or if, like, or, like, she just woke up and sometimes you just, you have to just be, like,

2:25:31 and you know what's weird you fucked up dude They want you to know that they just need this right now. Those are the ones that need something else. Right, you gotta get fit. Look at me. You eat horrible? Well, when I met you, you were thinner. i'm talking about he he he grabs my cheek and he'm talking about he grabs he did it, I See, I want to just do it.

2:28:40 At the end of the year, I did that master cleanse. Then the two days of you had to let your body get used to having salad and soup. and then you have a good thing of steak. Losing a lot of weight. I work out a lot. Okay. But I just know that if you don't use it, you lose it. is like pretty calm. The weight lifting kind of stuff. So I'm going to start doing that one too.

2:31:14 Not good. so I have to, and harder as you get older. I know. It's what's happening Cut out the sugar. Have some red meat. Yeah, fries are bullshit. They're delicious. I had some pasta last night. Diablo. Good for you. You're all angry. That's what I'm saying. Of course. alleviate a certain amount of angst right or people that think weed like you know people that think weed like i don't mind saying weed makes you lazy but lazy

2:34:11 But if you're already lazy and then you do this, it's not going to be a winning combination. He don't even know. The game. It was like three, four seconds left. And the look on his face was like that, Look at LeBron. 33 years old, too. Keep him the fuck away from Jeff Nowitzki. And I think that... Oh, my God. You could just look up stringent as everywhere. They test for weed?

2:36:37 It makes my game 10% better. It's the reason why basketball players find it better too. It puts them into some sort of a zone. I'm telling you you You don't know Do you play? See the problem is in order to get real accurate results, on his game day use of marijuana. Don't tell me about the but well but any other time but no no it's not just would you want to be high if you were like

2:38:53 Yeah. I get it. But if you're drawing or music or something along those lines we all have a lot, we both have a lot of, we all have a lot, and I know part of it was because of the pot. And it didn't help, the work ethic. What I hate is that the people that don't have any work ethic, they look at somebody with a work ethic that smokes weed and then say, well, look, they made it because they

2:40:54 Listen, I'm not anti-weed, but I just think that with anything, there should be moderation. Are you a different person because of it? Yeah, I'm doing another one. About the pot. I agree. Like I'd run into them at the comedy store and they'd be like, bro, you got any weed But then you also see guys like Ari, who get high all the time, and they're constantly

2:42:45 exceptions, not the rule. I wonder. You know, I mean. Moderation. I think I mean, it's definitely not one She got that Ambien from the motherland. but a lot of people went after him like that Yeah, she means well. What I would like to see, though, isn't that the whole point of it? It probably hurts long and every 15 minutes he stops the conversation and does a commercial and while i was sitting

2:45:30 The kind of conversations that we've had over the past three hours, this is the best format. like you know i care about you you know your friend you know we're gonna have fun and there's you. Yeah. On your phones. she just sent me a text message right now. You better not Well, man, we just have to lead by example. I'm not comfortable even saying it

2:47:34 and it was you know but if you're a guy like that that's like a man way to say it, too. That's my whole point. I think we should. But I'll also be at the Irvine Improv on Friday. at Eric Griffin I love you I got it all