Joe Rogan Experience #1134 — Kyle Dunnigan Transcript

Transcript

0:00 four three two one yeah that uh where'd you Yeah. yeah. that voice when she was Bruce. It's like numb. She did like a reality show. It seems like you could put her in interesting situations. what her transition it wasn't about that oh she didn't really talk about She's got to order those custom, right? She's just decided that she's a woman yeah a republican woman ew lesbians gross but she's a lesbian now yeah but

3:17 Like, I'm going to judge that. Oh. She bumped into this lady who was stopped, and the lady went across traffic and died. I don't want to see this. She's always been a woman. I was having midlife crisis panic, waking up at three in the morning. i'm just gonna make videos on instagram like what a what a great business move let me lose my health The weed whacker.

6:11 When did you start doing the face swap thing? Stormy Daniels once. Just buzzer it. The door is closed. It's locked. Holy shit. So you really just decided to start doing these full time? It happens in so many comics. really funny comics and they can't work because Nobody knows who he is. I'm like, dude, you're one of the 20 best comics in the world. Yeah. And it's crazy. It doesn't make any sense. He's fucking hilarious. Nobody knows who he is.

9:12 I mean, more people know Ian now than before, but God. You're tired all day. You're stuck in an an office and then you have to go on the road like if you want to be a Woo! But the entire time he was away, he was writing. I'm not as worried about you. you know, for cars is that true yeah what about a tesla what do you hate no no no i mean muscle cars

11:40 cool. 71 Barracuda. Well, there's no confusion. There's no problem. Tesla. Some employee was sabotaging code and leaking information. no i don't know the exact specifics of it but uh he did something he did something bad i don't know You should have a Patreon where you just commit to doing one of those videos every x amount of days i'm hearing about that i gotta get into the business side of things but

14:10 you can't figure out how to cancel it. Yeah. And then before you get the vitamins, Talking about my- Yeah, I would imagine. and I'll film that, and I'll have the whole script written out. was i think seeing my life and going i i want to at least try to be like a performer is why what i That's all they want to do. And you're there in the office, and you've got a cork board, and you you, you start writing. The next thing you know, you're like, Hey, would you work on my show? Sure. Yeah.

16:54 Sweet. you know, If this doesn't work out with Instagram. having to you know take them through this well you might be one of the only guys that's done it It was the owner's idea, and that was really fun. this guy's terrific. on different things. Yeah. oh can't wait to get your cock in my mouth again. Oh my God. take she didn't know what i was doing and that was like real and honest but after that like i

20:50 Tea. Neither have I. you're moving into theaters is that what's going I opened the door. Just watch this. When Caitlin's like, shut the fuck up, Babies can breathe in their womb. Optimized Instagram better than anybody. I find a picture. He's gotten all my Gmail accounts. that's another one that's another one people do that Kyle Dunn in comedy would have been fine

23:57 Unlike most people's Instagram pages. You can go up to an hour. I just got a panic attack. You're not going to be Guess what? Not a goddamn thing happens. I do this all the time. What is your background? No but I'm doing it right now Percent? Just bring your 23andMe and make it giant. It's your fault How dare you It's gonna smell good Character. this business for a long time and there's been been so many. I could talk for nine hours about the disappointments, but I still feel lucky that I was able to make a living or whatever.

27:47 Yeah, Tom. I did this show. And to get a part on a network show, it's a lot of auditions. no one else can really write for it. He just didn't give a fuck. And we'd go and we'd read the script. It was like that. we have this idea you know James Bond? And the next guy sketch show when was this sketch show? What was it called? and Afion's going, Then we go to the wrap party,

30:51 standing up and there's a whole big table and he's going down, what's your favorite oh my god the first animal it was awesome shooting the explosion and it was like it was just the wrong vibe to be like hey new york a big explosion once while this campaign was happening, Was it like two years? I was like, wow. It's fucking amazing, man. What? Yeah.

34:49 Why don't you just get out the VCR? There's another tape. The hunt for the Trump tapes with Tom Arnold is on it. And I'm Tom Arnold. The Hunt for the Trump Tapes with Tom Arnold. And like 90% was from like their company or some fake things. I'm the crazy person who said me and Michael Cohen were teaming up to take down Trump Trump. Michael has enough Trump on his plate. I'm the crazy person who said me and Michael Cohen

36:20 Thanks for clearing that up, Tom. You think? Would you consider doing a Putin on your page? Just listen to him talk a few times, and you'd get it. Yeah. It just sounds like something someone would just make up, it all over the place and after i had to clean it up, I'd probably be like, asks you to, like, choke her a little? I got into like only girls that want you to like force them to do shit.

39:26 And I get on the dance floor. And I had to. But a girl with a good sense of humor would be flattered. Grown man. on the wall people are coming like oh someone's talking to me he goes you a faggot no yeah no really yeah i was like no i mean Jockey, and they were drunk. When I was in high school I meant like, were you at your house, were you at school?

42:16 And I knew. The girl wanted me to rape her this motherfucker what I like? Okay. Like, what are you doing? Yeah, I think like Louis C.K., I remember his show, one of the first episodes, he had a show where an older girl asked him to jerk off in front of her. They're into weird shit. How does that get linked up? Let me tell you why. I think they estimate it's somewhere between like two and maybe like 10,000 people.

45:17 He was explaining with his wife, who's also a biologist, that there's two different things that men are attracted to yeah that there's a like an evolutionary reason for that being a stimulating thing for men like for men anecdote and antidote Seduce me. Antidote. let's say you fell for somebody and she didn't like like and she dumped you and you're still pining over her

47:30 It will. I eat a lot, man. It never bothered me. I don't care if they just I just say listen Everybody gets bad breath. I don't know. Reluctantly your body's all fucked up yeah your body's like super confused yeah i used to date a girl puked She brought it up. It's not like you, And why, You're selling yourself She wanted to just fucking scream too she wanted she was it was like the stress of it all was so crazy

52:32 It attracts the wrong people. I can't. You're a goat. You told Tom Cruise he loved it? Oh, cool. That's great. New Jersey but I don't tell people that I'm like okay so she's like What were you auditioning for? I don't even remember. I think everyone would this is very for me at least like everybody who goes in there And they don't say nice to meet you because they

55:16 It was just it was really strange. They were like real obvious I'm just being nice. Well, she was casting quite a few different shows. She's like, is it good to see this? I booked one. and I'm a terrible reader and they gave me like audition reading a script i was fired from jesus christ i mean so many wasted hours memorizing because it was a mental.

57:56 if you can imagine, It's really hard to grab your facilities to act Always. to say was going to be hilarious it was the best part of the show oh it's going to be great yeah Yeah, I'm opening up for this guy. actors. They go crazy. And like you said, it's, you know, a lot of times you're not starting with the most secure people. But I wanted attention.

1:00:47 the energy and the desire to escape that bad feeling like that's not what happens with you sometimes i don't feel like going on stage yeah no definitely It felt great that I would leave here and I'd be done. I'm enjoying more now. what? I, I just kind of was, I I think scared trying to do what people said and there was this thing where like you got to make it a

1:02:50 It's a new thing. or whoever it was, Brett Butler. But he had like a sense of himself. And they'd have them keep rattling it. Only in the 70s would they do that experiment. So then the blue-eyed people started, you know, doing better work, behaving better. Just to really fuck them up. What does it say? that billionaire dude in 2005 she thought she was just getting hooked up yeah she's like look i'm

1:06:11 chris pratt's being praised because he said people should pray which is a legitimate thing to say i Otherwise, what are you going to do? You're going to fuck everybody I do not think it's possible. Because you could be married with kids to be like a 55 year old guy But you have something, you have some skin in the game. but then i'll walk out of here humiliated i i auditioned for snoopy on broadway you want to

1:08:28 Felt like a bomb went off and they were just dead silent what happened in there? you know what? Yeah. and a house that's like corporate stuff mostly now oh it's corporate gigs yeah that's weird that's staring at the wall. that's what's good I went to one That's amazing. There was one guy in a red hooded sweatshirt in the center of the field sitting Indian style.

1:10:44 Amherst is a tricky place. It's too bad most people don't know that impression think of when I think of Johnny Carson. like America's favorite Just stopping doing it. Yeah. I'm worried about him. Okay. And you're doing stand-up that's never been tried. Today? He wasn't yeah It doesn't seem like a good way to talk to people. You just need a little levity.

1:14:53 I just, I think it's a dead medium. We got the VR goggles now. You have this big dude in front of you throwing punches. There's one with a lightsaber where things come at you. I do. You made one. One, that table, I didn't tell you because I didn't want to freak you out. It's crooked. Is that your best game? I'm pretty good at Quake. Really good book.

1:17:36 I'm like, oh, that's fascinating. Yeah. gym or I'm driving to the comedy store. I'm driving to the airport. I fill that up with Tipping Point is great just another book I'm in the middle of. Yeah. I love doing that. you need some favor. You really are worried you gotta go okay um how how many times did this person think about this like yeah how He was a really, really good guy.

1:21:12 Does he? But, man, he was sweating like a pig and running around. I think, is Vice, what's going on with Vice? Vice has a channel. just like uh just want to thank you lord for this opportunity to take down this ram like there's a lot of that but what's funny is that on direct tv they're only like two or three channels removed Blessed with Mike the Hunter.

1:23:14 and uh just morning radio before a gig like you know you do you promote the gig hey joe rogan's And we're looking at each other, me and I think Ari or Duncan was with me, and we were like, what in the fuck is happening here? It was a radio show. Because, you know, you've got to be at them at 6 o'clock in the morning. I would, Richard Jenny. and a bunch of times in clubs,

1:25:48 not to bring the room down jesus so he went under the chin yeah i guess it's that happens like more now we have so much more time on our hands fuck you love aging like though I do feel more comfortable I'm feeling less anxious yeah in some I'm sure, yeah. She's 30 years old. in those videos, like, I wonder if that's the case. and then to see her just like completely.

1:29:09 And it's a lot of old people in their 50s and stuff. Sex is kind of had but i think you hear about that if you heard about a guy today that had wooden teeth If they can alter your genes. in order to fix certain ailments or alterations in genes to try to combat certain life-threatening First, I'd be hot as fuck. He came in. That recalibrates what you see as good looking.

1:32:30 like 10 inch hog take four inches off my hog right now when you put it when you put it on the table I mean, I think if I had something mutated, but... Right. I hate having a 12 inch cock because I have to, I can only get the tip in. Yeah. This is how it starts yeah there's uh and you can get scientists because there's no It's normal. It was like you would touch their,

1:34:57 yeah i mean i was an adult when i realized like i i thought it was just like a barbie doll like i fooled around, that kind of thing. She goes I can't show you It's so embarrassing Weird when you see one. So it was like that. Women really do. Well, that's not what it is. Like, girls were, like, keeping the armpits with it. You're an outsider. Yeah. Crazy have to be just careless. You don't care. You're a renegade. You're an outsider.

1:37:20 Would you say, yeah, it's okay, whatever you want? Can you imagine if they had, like, that's how they get rid of it, right? I think there's two different ways to do it. Laser pointer burns hole in young boy's eye. I know, remember they went crazy in the 90s. at it long enough. high level. So he just has a hole in his vision forever. the doctors decided on a conservative

1:39:38 Did he have a job? okay baron he had one he was like 60 right yeah so you got time i go back and forth i i don't hear good reviews about like they She pursued me, just to get that out there. Yeah. Make sure you keep her legs up in the air. I mean, I'd like to have kids. don't know i don't know where those years went I feel like I woke up recently and I'm like,

1:41:55 piling up. of being a person is if we really do live to be 80 90 100 if you're fucking really lucky that it's like and then it's five years smart i you realized it i appreciate that i don't feel like it's brave i feel like i Yeah. I feel right now really thankful. I mean, you keep putting out the videos like you're putting out. you about people who are really good. Everybody wants everybody to know. There's no famine anymore

1:45:18 like all these guys that are top podcasters we all do everybody's show yeah i'm always doing either joey does my It's good for me because they know that I'm not going to bullshit them. What is that? You're not supposed to take time off of that Fucking stupid game Practice up Do you have like I mean, I'd like to just have like a life and be able to do like weekend gigs and then come

1:47:28 you hermit, a lot of people It makes a giant difference. I can't really afford it at this point. And it was, it made it so much more excruciating. You're like, it can't be funny. diego yes great gig great that's a nice audience it's a fun little area too right yeah oh yeah It's a fucking great place, because it's like a city, but it's not too big. Also, the military's there.

1:49:34 Where are you getting it? I eat it at night. No, I buy them. it. Monetize product placement. I I could do. Monetize. Ever since they chopped my nads off, I've been kind of slow. What's the point, man? It's a pug-chihuahua mix. Stinkies? Are you licking? It was like tinkies. I'm sorry. He's a little bit better, but he's not going to make it very much longer either.

1:53:16 see marshall like these dogs you know it's gonna it's gonna be a just a giant struggle it's harsh But I didn't know you when you were two, you know? And I'm so much more compassionate. You're competing for your career. That's one thing I hear about having kids You scare me about that autistic Yeah, baby. Make it to two years. Woo. That's crazy. It's not that far off, though.

1:56:45 have to have good friends and enjoy what you do there's nothing wrong with that so i used to weird show everybody talking over each other five people on a panel it's like whatever it is four well he also was like kinda red who's smarter than me well he could be president i don't think he can being an atheist maybe not It's like wanting a babysitter.

1:59:01 and calm. but have in the past where they understand You gotta take the heroic dose. But considerate, wise, objective people that care and have a deep sense of responsibility to sort of guide our country in the best way possible, He's so enthusiastic. doesn't really understand what he's saying he's not a You know, he used to be a wrestler. I think he wrestled in college, too.

2:01:50 not a know-it-all that's how you learn yeah people forget but if he's talking to you about something You learn. that automatically want to think that person is guilty gonna get book smart i'm gonna get sam harris neil degrasse tyson smart if i gave you a pill I don't think I'd take it. I was purple oh, It's just a theory Yeah. Yeah. And useless talent. Useless talent. of calculators asshole you weren't born 200 years ago batteries are everywhere

2:05:09 Like, it's just not a, it's like not believing in heaven. someone dance with you yeah whatever yeah Yeah, there's so many things that you just fucking luck. Jesus. Look, I don't know. Stop with the magic trick, bro. You know what was the best? fucking idiot wow look at one of my children down there have you never heard of them no i dude i Yeah, and steroids for sure.

2:08:00 Oh, look, he axe kicked it. That's why they have to wear goggles on. What's that? What's the goal here? look at this he's bending a bar for Jesus is this a 1991 yeah right big bad bar Pro wrestling without the other guy. That place is giant. He did more roids and got rid of the mullet. or if he gives a different one every time. It's a clone. to each other.

2:11:27 Sometimes they had to find out who's the baby mama. Yeah. No. after I'm done. Oh, I came, I've never been more of a bitch. I live in a house filled with girls there's all women in my house i don't i have if my, why do you care? this is what it is. He's going crazy. It's entire. We would like you better wow there's no effect on the one of us And Bruce will come in like, you girls and your makeup.

2:15:27 And there's a real, there's a depression period. It's called gyynomastica. And gynomastica comes from introducing too much exogenous testosterone into your system. Like he saw this transition taking place That makes more sense. Yeah, that is. and be like, I gotta not be out You're so good at that impression you could do her on stage and you don't even need like the face swap like people would just start laughing like they know what you're doing when i did at

2:17:51 I'm like I don't know like It's lucky that she's ridiculous enough that you could point things out. There's hundreds of videos of her lying. if you bring that up to people they have less of an it really is so mind blowing that it went over And then you play her saying, well, I'm a traditional girl. Yeah. Very hypocritical. love each other you have a problem with the fact that they're they're both boys they've done

2:20:33 It's like a biological issue. He brought up a great, insightful thing. was a insightful thing i think a lot of times too it's just lack of exposure to gay people My next door neighbors were gay and they would get naked with my aunt and And these people that I live, I can't believe these fucking faggots want to get married. this shit and he's throwing the newspaper down on the table and i remember i

2:22:47 yeah is disgusting something was off Don't do that. Really? We're streaming live. So I just do a bunch of them. I don't have one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I actually have like a song I just recorded. world premiere right now okay like uh jamie can look something up well no it's in my email oh you It died. There's some major problem. I could open the contact screen

2:25:43 that I don't like, Yeah. There's an article I just found where he, I'm sorry, she was talking about. said she'd hit from either box depending on how the group voted. She got the man muscles and the man skeleton. Edmund Jenner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah What is the ladies see closer?

2:28:15 You're the best. Do you have a Twitter? Buy it from him Yeah. Right?