Joe Rogan Experience #1143 — Candice Thompson Transcript

Transcript

0:00 do do do four three two one and we're live candace hi guys hi oh my god we're live oh my god It was not. I'm trying to think of the last time I was really scared. That's how I feel. Jump scares, or that's like cheap. The Strangers. That one bothered me a little bit. see scary movies at the theater so so you're always at home so you know yeah yeah the strangers

2:02 i had a peeping Tom. Ooh. I have a joke about it now because it was the only way I could deal with it without, you know, getting too paranoid about it. i'll just tell you what he said okay it was terrifying I was watching also let me give the setup I was It's city. So you can't even, It's awful. This is perfect. Don't feel bad for your accomplishments.

4:09 Joe Rogan. You have a stuffed werewolf Can I finish my peeping Tom story now? This was I think like two years ago. Because I was like, And then probably 20 minutes later, Wow. But we have bars on most of the windows. you know Ian Edwards. Yeah. Who? He weighs less than me. He just won't. He's asked me several times. Like I do occasionally. supposed to be up like you just woke up how are you going back to sleep he's always so tired and

7:56 Yeah, he's not. the struggle so is that about life in la yeah well just yes that's an ongoing that that and my It's not that he's not nice. It's real. Absolutely. It is. man but just want one right but the dudes can't handle it well well it's hard it's hard both ways Whenever we're at the store, have a positive attitude. I feel like some people do,

11:00 You're very happy. reading about him. I think he's just doing a falsetto. There was some documentary I just watched. That sounds like a girl. It does. It does. It does. It does. It does. It does. It does. It does. that sounds like he's got a cold. They were scared. Play her a sound of a real castrato People would give their children to the Yeah. This is a boy?

14:03 It's a different sound. No one looks or sounds anything. He sounded like a girl. Who the fuck Like when people were like, or any type of tension I bet they did that to that kid. No, I think the idea was his dad was trying to preserve his voice. Yeah. of the way he sounded. Right. It just makes sense. He was five, six years old. level of fame right like have you ever thought about like people who get to like for example

18:03 money and you start out and then you I have always wondered, like, when is it enough for people? Well, yeah, I mean, that's different, though. Oh, well, that's fine. I'm sorry, I can't. you retire comfortably. You just keep making money. But see, for me, $200 million. I get it for 75. on this island. to this, Richard Branson, I don't mean to laugh at you.

20:49 It's going to be reopened It's too close. because it sounds too much like that other word. Well, it does, but it's not the same word. Isn't it like selfish and stingy? People are saying don't use that word anymore because it sounds too much like that other word. Yeah. Yeah. But pussyfart. Right you gotta say right not change the game it's not the same you can't say that on daytime talk that is weird though right

21:54 This is what I think was when we lived in New York. Yeah, I wasn't allowed to say it. Yeah, I don't know any. if your name is Richard, My nephew's name's Jack. Oh, yeah. That doesn't make any sense. because i don't i personally don't find anything wrong with the word. Yeah. Put some respect on my name. Did you see that? And Charloé's going, okay, all right.

24:38 Look crazy. Hilarious. I tried to avoid it. Jamie's the gossip news. When it's like celebrities. What if they're not braggy? Yeah. Why do you like hurt feelings? Happier? I'm a very happy person. You have. I'm just a grateful person. Well, yeah, if that's what you want. hilarious there's a lot of them to do they secretly absolutely that you come in and do

27:45 Yeah. 11 45 in the fucking OR after Joey Diaz. because it is mostly dudes. I don't find women You know dudes they always want to just be No, no, no. Get a robot boyfriend. Well, Ian couldn't save me. Because I know guys are going to get that. Yeah, no. That is 100% going to happen. black candace on not too long ago candace owens. I'm the one that's not in the sunken place.

30:32 It's not in theaters anymore. Yes. Okay. It's really good. Yes. bothered me but i i didn't enjoy that and the story i just felt like it's one of those ones racism from his family like his father his father used to in his apartments used to deny uh renting She found the niche. Like I think that you know, She was? She goes, I smell liquor on your breath.

33:30 I'm a step up. Wow. There's more. Do something with your hair. change your nose a little bit. There's more. I honestly don't even know what Lauren looks like. And they're expecting that they're going to attract that younger demographic, the millennials. Big business is good. and everybody on the left. There's certain things where you have but because she came out as saying she was pro-choice yeah so yeah that was the and she

36:23 what the fuck are we doing? And then all these people are like, you know, you don't understand the real issue on the border. cartel for looking at somebody wrong at a taco stand you know and then you just and nobody nobody And they never investigate anything. How do we know this? I mean, when you make drugs illegal, only criminals are selling drugs,

38:25 I've tried. Not often. And they pay you in weed. So you know Jamar Neighbors? like, Oh, this is going to be award winning because of the taste, right? It's like probably I'm not talking to myself. Yeah, He called the cops and then checked himself. They called for an ambulance, they said they were dying, please send help, time's moving Oh, drugs, man.

41:28 Want to play it? Yeah, he called 911 and we're talking about on a podcast years Because nobody dies. They walk around like robots. Like. They walk around like robots. You know, they're on television. If you have any personality, They got fat boobs, too. famous weathercast she's like one of the hottest women on the planet tiny little waist giant ass

44:13 But they're terrifying. So that's why I'm like, I'm not going to be happy and promote that for women, hurting Just- I do have a, I'm like an athletic build, so I don't have a tiny waist. Thanks. say i have a thick waist you're not allowed to say it i can say it you can't say it like you Or being called thick. you know because if you take the fat out the flavor is going so like how do we get the flavor

46:49 Gluten-free is what's popular. I don't know what I'm thinking about. Paleo is just real food. For people to eat That eat carnivore diet No that's not good Because of eating He's not eating anything. cholesterol is bad when you have cholesterol and high carbohydrates because when your body is so you're just going to get fat as fuck. Well, with all this body positivity,

49:40 and love your body. But it's also promoting, Yeah. Are you good at it? Look at this slob. Yeah. bragging about duis what i'm not kidding you're hanging around the wrong people they're not my And it's just and that's fine. There's no excuse for that, especially in Hollywood. Right. I feel like being, because you don't drink at all, do you? it's like, oh, this lifestyle is not conducive to what I'm trying to do.

52:43 Weekend. Right. How'd that work out? And that's why I'm hesitant to pay again because I got nothing. I was on there for over a year. we have so many messages that you haven't responded to. like terrifying looking like serial killers. I know several people that are in the dating app world I tried to swipe black, but there wasn't an option. One of them I think was gay.

55:18 You could be gay and a pathological liar. once a week? It does not go crazy. while he's running. Oh. Might be. Might be. Do you write I'm looking for a meaningful relationship I don't know what Bumble is. Of course. But have they... So what? No one's taking personal responsibility for their own mistakes. Yeah. what if you didn't know that rule and you accidentally leave the curtain

58:37 right down the street from there. i feel unsafe right now yeah it's a different feel like girls hitting on you is like if you want you It's terrifying. i'm sorry i came home from the club i was little drunk. I've always had this thing for you. I'm so sorry. Oh. That is weird. you cheated on them or did something and now she's stalking you or you found out they're crazy and

1:01:14 When people snap? Absolutely. But yeah, we were, I was watching Snaps. for every show. I don't want to be a victim of a crime of passion. Have you gotten your car keyed before? I don't know if you've seen this. They hit this cross. In case you're wondering. it's like yeah no i definitely have goals and i'm achieving them but it's also i'm also not like uh

1:04:34 Not store, Cause I was like, Yes, it was right when you came back because that was right. If Tom Hiddink had fired and Adam didn't take over, I would have still been gone. but haven't you noticed that the energy has changed since adam has taken over it's a completely Now it's the real Mecca. the happiest moment of my life I was like holy shit I'm a paid regular at the comedy store like

1:06:55 It was just gross. And then when he died, that place was a ghost town. And then you go there. But I know Jack Nicholson and a bunch of other Every show. Because I know so many people that were door guys back when. We went to a strip club and tattoos on his face in the 90s. I go, we're getting the fuck out of here. I was like, this is... He was out of his mind.

1:10:03 It's a very odd couple. It worked. Maybe it's just you. I honestly, honestly, honestly, Rogan. impressions for jokes before. Biggums and it just and I'm like I can't do it Isn't it amazing that that show was only two seasons? Gotta go. Whenever you tell people that aren't funny, that are executives, tell them to manage funny, Yeah, and you saw the success of what had happened

1:12:50 It was all about people not comfortable Yeah, yeah. He's just bluffing. Oh, you guys blew it. doing standup in the park and a crowd gathered around. Of course. And that's what he would do. Charlie Burnett, who was like an old-school New York character who did a lot of street comedy. gather around I mean look at this crowd Puerto Ricans. He would yell it out in the park.

1:15:49 now AIDS is like the flu You know, Dave would just do stand-up in front of a club. of really terrible places. Trap the sound. Is it? Is that crazy? Cigarette holder to people let my dog shit on the floor Especially on a plane. Let them loose. Because you can't call a male stewardess. and I had to fill out one of them. I'm going to the dentist on Friday.

1:19:06 no i'm other kin people think that there's something there's supposed to be something Uh-huh. It was boring, right? She's in debt. not that long ago? sex with anything. Could he have really? Women don't have standards anymore. It should be a book. You're not crazy, like ambitious But you know what you're not? What? You know what you're not? or abuse in childhood.

1:21:48 They just want. Some of them like pretend to be comics, like they pretend to be interested in the craft of comedy. They were acting You and I don't have Like out there when you were telling me, you're not black. There's black Native American and there's white. There's bestiality in your... They were like, well, you know, it wasn't so bad when we was fucking these apes over here.

1:23:36 She was warm to cuddle with You know? What could it be? You know, I'm too, I don't think I'm going to do one of those. Jesus, Candace. by like darker skinned black girls, So I became like a class clown and just would. it's a mild pain. that's awful. you don't have any vices and you weren't like touched by an uncle. I did have a day job at that time.

1:26:16 uh, full on center director at Santa Clarita. all my Vietnamese nail technicians who still work there. And they would all get it done? I think it just takes like, but also I think it's- Okay. terrible very briefly violent oh wow dangerous not good then left that and then when we moved in he was just, Do you ever wonder about like how you would have,

1:29:02 box and that's why i got into fighting. And that's why martial arts. But I saw it. And I saw a lot of, system you don't have to think about it anymore that's giant is it really because i have no idea I would dress up as a boy. to be violent because I don't know no not constantly this is how I look at it this is That door is like there's gaps. It's just always ready to open.

1:32:37 there's violence ready to go it's i mean and he doesn't do much but if it happens if the wrong thing happens well you could take your kids to see this Are all cults sex cults? When was the last time a girl ran a cult, by way you might be the first well that no well the chick You gotta have the crazy beard. Yeah, no, I don't understand that at all. And my question is like, do these people, when you're going into a cult, do they know it's a cult?

1:34:46 They follow a certain way and pattern of being. I think a red flag would be as if like, the person that you're married to but with that then when they're like this group sex like i think But that's the thing with men. Women throwing their panties at him. I lent him $1,000. he had a Kickstarter? He's a shyster. They give him their money. He's probably getting some serious God-loving pussy.

1:37:28 Yeah. Like is a con bad if it's real obvious? that stuff's addictive it is addictive there's something there there they've been studies that He would talk in tongues. No, he didn't say that. You are fixing to get a shiner. I shouldn't have said that. Is he really old looking now? What are you woofing? Jesus. He looks- He looks so untrustworthy. I miss remix.

1:40:57 I met that guy. Yeah. So that's, that to me makes me so sad. It's all right. We're good. L.A. goddamn closet. You have a new fan And, you know, plus,'s the stigma is so it's bad for everybody. Yes. Yeah, he licks my other dog's dick. So depressing. They're ready to go. since I had enough money yeah they have places I want one. No, I thought you had a kid.

1:44:05 Probably. Throwing you under the bus. Probably. She's like, Candace has a child. I think someone said it. It was probably some girl hated on you. Probably. Like keep it in a dog cage. so i really um i really do like uh pugs Are you friends with Whitney Cummings? Well, wait. I can take one of hers like you know what she said she goes like Yeah. Yeah, here she loves pits.

1:45:46 That's a cute little tiny one too I like French bulldogs do you Isn't that how they've got like, yeah. That is more realistic for me than getting a man. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad we finally did it. I post all my dates. Oh, no. Je parle français un peu. Yay.