Joe Rogan Experience #1153 — Macaulay Culkin Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Boom and we're live and we're live! I'm almost like a peerless person to a certain extent. I mean, we do have our weekly therapy sessions. we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we And the same thing with you. how unique the whole situation is until you have perspective. Because you have nothing to compare it to, really, other than, I guess, TV shows and movies and things like that.

2:54 else. And that, I think, for a kid, that's a very strange place to be. you do like that's like i was good at it and boom like in the same way like they do like anything that you're like you like it's you have to get three hours of schooling in Because they can only, I mean, virtually every scene. Because I was a ballet dancer before I was an actor.

5:13 Like, I just like can't. Wow. But some people think that my six year old dying a black lung, you know, there's some Did you have any say in whether or not you worked when you were young? You know, yeah, yeah. That must have been so surreal. Exactly. your lines really like because i apparently that's a problem like for me it never was like I'm about to be 38 in like two weeks.

7:58 my, uh you know i got a colonoscopy so i was actually hoping like because they were put me under so i You know, just ass to mouth, boom. Stomach pains or something? Like I'm eating less red meat, you know, less carbonated beverages, you know, What's the logic behind red meat less? Apparently not, or at least, you know, less so. So yeah, I've read something about ibuprofen doing it because ibuprofen disrupts gut bacteria and they believe that gut bacteria

10:54 i think that's a big part of it and also if you like uh because i did a movie in thailand uh like This is one of those single cell ones. What does an ulcer do? That's what I mean. Ooh. And I was like, what was that? This is a fairly recent thing. Lots of leafy greens. you know, things like that. And so, like, they were giving out participation badges,

13:16 everyone's like, what is that? You seem like a For a family. Yeah, yeah. For a family. because a cat can kind of it's a girl. and she's black And And they're adorable Little relationship Oh yeah. Yeah. No, I want, I want, I'm going to make some babies, you know, all that kind Oh, my goodness. It's like, oh, baby, you're my Yoko. I think if I have Asian babies, I'd be allowed to.

15:55 They'll come after you. Privileged blonde ha, Aryan male. Well, that was one of the things that like, you know, one of the things I really loved about her like was I remember when I made my first like Asian crack like and just wanted this and she kind of like stopped That would be a real problem. could tell her you're a really good driver for you know yeah yeah no why

17:42 Yeah, it's like. Yeah. sleeping like 20 hours a day and like only like waking up to like yeah like you know just like the heavy duty antibiotics and like all that stuff like it's just kind of like yeah like you know and And there's like this little like kind of kitten just like walked up. You should get yourself tested for toxoplasma. Yeah, yeah. You can get it through a blood transfusion.

20:20 and that was like mono kind of thing. And I was totally run down. I got it when I was like 20. I just launched my own website recently. Like I said, I caught this in like 2000, 2001 or something. You really should listen to it That's actually, yeah, that's fascinating. No, that makes sense. There's an evolutionary advantage to that because like yeah, like if you if you're a cat you have toxoplasmosis

23:17 Yeah. Oh, health issue. toxo gandhi or whatever it is looking. What was this movie in Thailand? It's like him. and just occasionally act but like I said yeah kind of not interested I don't really agents anymore and things like that. Is that because you're just not interested? Yeah, kind of not interested. But yeah, no, I write a lot. That is it's a comedy website.

25:26 No, it's like, yeah, it's the goop ones. The most egregious, though. Yeah, that's the well, that I know of. Is there other ones? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, it's like, yeah. The Goop one's the most egregious, though. Believe me, we had a... Five years. How to have sex on a beach in a hot tub and other things that seemed fun as a virgin. And we're revving up some more

26:19 my vagina and I hatch a jade bird. taking the piss out of like, you know, ours is like, It's some really good stuff. And then, yeah, then I started kind of Voltroning it, Like we have one about, do you see Infinity War? But we made our own Infinity Gauntlet. And then you have to go back and like, yeah. pictures of him bound and gagged and it's like dear goop like we we kidnapped your therapist

28:52 I know. So. I'm, like I said, I'm very, very, very lucky. That's a weird way to describe a movie career Came out the other end Can you imagine if you just have your brain in a little kid's body I'm pretty sure that's what 30 going on 13 was, right? Is that like a brain swap one? So yeah. Yeah, my friend Jack says I'm a man of leisure. But since like 2013, something like that.

31:52 when are you going to move to Paris and when are you going to learn French? So I said, I'm going to leave my bags here. if I didn't. there for a little while. I know Richard Bowser lived there for a while. was great it was a lot of people have done that Johnny Depp lived there for a little while I know we still live there like 10 p.m yeah about 10 p.m is like you know kind of a you know an ideal like dinner kind of

33:49 plans my plan is to hang out like you know with you guys and so and all of a sudden like stress with the, you know, I have one. I got inside pockets. I got inside pockets. I do call it my purse in day-to-day kind of thing because someone's like, oh, it's a satchel coming out of your mouth? Yeah, right? pack and walk out into public yeah but there's not a lot of people that will just actually just

35:39 They do make my fingers a little too feminine if it's done perfectly. I have no issue with that. Yeah, but he's so eccentric. Good on him. He really committed to that scarf thing. canceled. He has a notorious B.I.G. Ah, there you go. You can go places. Yeah, but that's his friend. Far, far more than that. It wasn't a fruitful endeavor. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

40:14 Because it was kind of like the way the pitch was And I said like, yeah, no, I said, I'm cool. I want a piece of this Macaulay. Listen But right now it's all about the money. That black and white? Which is so ironic. They didn't know the which is so ironic now he's fucking blockbuster of movies and talking Yeah. Imagine if Leonardo Oh, look at her face.

42:26 So should he be able to change it? Come on. Come on. I want bigci is a moderate Italian. Yeah, I know. I love it. Come on! Look at her. Who was it that proposed that? Yeah, I've seen those things. In her iris of her eyes, there's actually letters in there and stuff. I'm almost 51 years old. Yeah. Yeah, it might have gotten confused with that. What would I look like?

44:51 We did it. with Leonardo da Vinci. kind of thing. On a plane. with. Yeah, that's his tank. They're going at 360. Yeah. Like one of the ones that they killed the Smaug with. It's a bunch of gun barrels. Hey, give me some Glems Casino. at least when it comes to his paintings and stuff. Like, you know, like he was, yeah, pay for anything because he was Picasso.

48:08 He actually has a lot of little sketches all around. I think he went around to everybody yeah there you go Yeah, I've always, like, every time I've, like, bumped into him. This is great. This is a great table. Well, you know it's it's weird that he was actually able to find a club that was already named after him I'm Chris Penn. five. So they're basically looking straight down on the top of your head.

50:58 But yeah, no. I imagined it was taller than that. It's like running out of room almost. What happened there? It was weird because he was already famous. some down time and Phil would take the warm-ups microphone and do bits. Yeah, he was amazing. He's still doing stand-up. I got 14 likes. Good for him. Because you still had Carvey and you still had

53:18 Yeah, huge right winger She was fine. So I had to memorize all that stuff. You can see it when people are reading. that weekend. That's so strange to me. That was neat. The alt-right. There it is. It's hashtag BFT. If you like this, you'll like that. No, I think it's the opposite, yeah. Just look at you. Yeah, yeah. and stuff. He had like 10 maybe.

57:25 So why not? Lingo, there we go It's an E. It's fun to do. Yeah go pee man We'll talk some shit about Naturally stoned That starred American game show host The Avant Garde. What? A psychedelic pop group? 60s kind of song. I think he probably Honey and gall. Yeah, no, it's very like incense and peppermints kind of thing. Yeah He's got wooden beads on.

1:01:00 See what the fuck he's up to these days. Oh, I don't know, actually. A Leonard Cohen album or something. It's blunt. Top shit. That's so strange, that whole thing, that he was in a band. Look at that hair. I've lost that love before. Oh, I've heard this song before. Yeah. The look is game show host. you know what I mean? Like you want to be an astronaut or whatever.

1:04:09 No. Because I know in the UK, like, host is a thing that people aspire to be. Yes. He then signed on as a solo artist, had five more songs on his own. That's crazy. of his. He still does, I think. Fucking still? Damn it. Maybe that's what it was. That's what you got. He always kissed every lady on the lips. That's true. That's not Super 8. I don't know.

1:06:39 Home porn. the guy who was in the movie Fuck no. Like, historical things. Yeah, Steve Carell. He played that guy. And in the movie, they put a ton of bullshit in there. that they just completely made up. He wore a traditional karate gi into the octagon. of the guy he fought? Yeah, that just seems Let me tell you. Like I said, it was the 80s, so yes, it has to be against a Russian kind of thing.

1:09:38 Kurt Angle, like I know, trained in that facility, the Foxcatcher. He wanted a bunch of strong, sweaty men Hey, you're losing weight here, Tom? Look at this up here. Yeah. Certain moves and everybody just sort of tolerated it yeah, they're kind of like oh about the Foxcatcher That's an unfortunate thing about those wrestlers. cage fighting. Especially like early

1:12:15 And Budweiser was a big part of that. kind of gotten into, like, the MMA kind of stuff. Wow How that ended in a draw Yeah. It was like way past his belly button. But, you know, like I said, it was kind of just, it felt like an unfair advantage, I'm really looking forward. Tyson Fury looks fucking fantastic. I think it just happened. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he really snaps is right. Yeah, you know, boom. Yeah, the recent one.

1:15:18 Right now? Look how good this guy looks. He toyed with Klitschko. And they're both a little, like, unorthodox, too. It'd probably be, like, the first time Wilder's fighting somebody who's bigger than him. He's only gone the distance once. Yeah. Like, you know, he's taking on some good challenges though. Like that. Yeah. also one of the things with boxing is like they're always trying to figure out like when do we make

1:18:12 Exactly. What'd you think about the McGregor-Mayweather leg fight? I'm surprised the ref— He was hammer fisting him, too. Yeah, exactly. That was driving me insane. Just kept on punching the back of his head. I'm surprised the ref... To open up. known for his cardio. He's a I know, right? There's been some crazy, but those bets are nuts. I love prop bets.

1:20:25 Yeah, exactly. you know, that was the only game you actually have a problem. You're betting on cricket. about those sports books. yeah, I knew a guy. Quit it. Yeah, the Greek is like, yeah, because there was Jimmy the Greek back in the day. I got this fucking thing. I got him locked Again, when you're a kid, you're going, Exactly. Yeah. it was probably really hard to get good food back then.

1:23:43 Exactly. Do you have photos of Kirk Douglas? That looks like a guy who's literally never swung a sword. Cigarettes and the cigarettes. I think you're right. Yeah. you're a big dude look at that jacked mm-hmm you're a big dude but I can take a James Bond yet. It's Idris Elba. Look at that right there. Yeah. If they were an actual gladiator, they had to swing swords around.

1:27:08 He hated the movie? God, I loved his movies. Yeah. The movie. He did not like the movie because they did the tv movie yes like in the early 2000s with the guy in a two-hour movie? I bet you if you read it You know what I mean? I mean, they're all – you know, yeah. I mean, still is, but so fucking prolific. I don't think they're like thick branches.

1:28:56 Come on. That place, that's supposed to be Estes Park. we go yes yeah it's actually like it's not called The Overlook in real life, but yeah, it's in Colorado. That's his last movie. You know, during his spare time, he used to do complex mathematics. and his notes and all that kind of stuff. I'd be open to doing something like that. This is one thing that I was only there for a short period of time, but one of the things I was shocked by

1:31:22 but a heavy dinner. I think that has to do with it. Because, yeah, it's fresh. Check out that wheel of cheese. But it's like specific and like, yeah, like you have to like, you know, it's like it's You don't, I don't refrigerate them. It's just a different process of how things are done. Wheat that's like older wheat before we started messing with it.

1:33:28 like I was eating less red meat. just whether it's dried Mm-hmm. So yeah, it's a so good Even when you do that, you tilt your head sideways and throw your hand back. time in the air. I like to puddle jump. I have a fantastic t-shirt shop that I love. you see more, like, black people in, like, the first five minutes You know, the UK can kind of control the, you know, the flow of traffic, you know, people

1:36:18 of leftover Soviet era or at least have like, Yes. BFT. Oh, geez. Yeah, I'm a New Yorker, so I'm like, I'm already half Jewish, you know. And, you know, he was basically saying, these people, they are here, I was just going to say, But yeah, there's just a whole sheet. Just throw a sheet over And they have sex through the sheets. Some of them do, right? Isn't that acidic, though? Isn't that an acidic juice? Yeah, yeah.

1:38:39 Kind of like tradition. Someone else. Yeah, I was going to say Brooklyn, like kind of in the southern kind of part. but right there on the river. You must have been sprinting. You have to understand, the whole of Manhattan is, I think it's like 14 miles, something like that. how Brooklyn is just overwhelmed with building, construction, apartment buildings now.

1:40:23 And even people like that are getting displaced. Then, they it's brooklyn queens etc hoboken the people Yeah. So I blinked and it was like, and later that year it can be zero degrees. Yes, yes. The only thing that could possibly make me live there Comedy clubs The cellar has two clubs my buddy opened up one or something like that he was actually There was a thousand or close to a thousand billiard halls in Manhattan. Oh, geez.

1:43:20 I used to play a lot of pool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, she is, and I'm just going to hitch a ride. so okay smart i'm doing okay yeah yeah but but a proper loft like i i said i had big syndrome I told my super like, They closed down and like, Like it's like presents. fire truck. Only one I swear. That's the kind of shit that drives Yeah, yeah. Because the place is closing down.

1:46:56 I know. Oh, thanks. You're very healthy for a guy You can get it takes care of that. Yeah, People Fest.