Joe Rogan Experience #117 — Eddie Bravo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 You were gentle with the sound today too. Really? Whoa. would you consider yourself a really big tipper? Well, I consider more of like that's human and, you know, like I'm helping somebody out compared to like, fuck, if I can get $20 off Amazon, I'm going to do that. 15 20 percent more than you would if you didn't have a card on you what's so what's the benefit

1:59 It doesn't really matter. If you have a product that's $20, By the way, did we say this is Eddie Bravo? Yeah, I've never been one to – whenever I go to Ralph's or something like that, You guys need to start keeping all that stuff in a little bag. I'm not gonna think about it It helps you. Yeah. Or hasn't he tried to quit? You've been having those menthol cigarettes.

4:31 I've been drinking since I was 14, probably younger than that. people when they start drinking We were out, okay? but he's blackout drunk, blackout drunk, a dude who trains with bj penn i apologize i forgot his name he's a wrestler and he would When you're on the Atkins diet and you're restricting carbs, you think about bread like every day. all that matters to me

6:38 And when I would wake up the cushiest of cushions you ever throw up I'm sure I did wow I mean you had to have some of Let's just wake up Saturday, fuck it. I miss those days. For a long time. on the internet it was spiking People were on the underground talking shit. How much of the day? You know, it's not staying in shape. Before, man, You have so many choices in it. All I got to do is get in my car. And what, what, what got me fat

9:55 Yeah. and like you're literally not even allowed to park there they're just they're just saying You know what that reminded me of? Back in like 2002 when you tore your knee and you It was an NSX that had a lot of horsepower, man. fucking my clutch up and his knee i'm taking him to like emergencies uh not surgery it was a we had but the most painful one is ironically the one that healed the quickest.

12:20 place. And it takes six months before you totally heal up. But the pain is nothing. It's like, it's not that big a deal. The pain of the meniscus tear, I had what's called a I twist my leg weird. It still wobbles on you? Bloody Murder So did you break a ligament? Yeah, the body would you be willing to roll those dice? So that's why those Harley guys, they found a loophole.

14:50 Eddie's driving and dropping it down fourth gear on the highway, She's looking at me right now. Explco. Dude, bitches are looking at me. Look at that bitch right there. She's looking at me, man. She's looking at me right now. Old men wanted to suck your dick. Trip out How does it sound From the 80's though I guess they don't have control over Kit's image anymore

16:15 Yeah, how many years is it? to just keep the license going the public domain. and they're dead from the triads and shit. And he would get together with a bunch of his friends from the gym. I never got into them. I tried. Bruce Lies. You know what I mean? would you think? end of Return of the Dragon. They start and fights I need to see that again too

18:59 dressing room they go cut and then bruce lee a fake bruce lee walks off set like all of a sudden that was just You can see the guy's shoulders are moving. And did you know the difference? And the whole movie he's got big shades on and they never get any close up. It was a major movie. Even before, because people get screeners. To kids, I thought it was great because the end is movie sucked. Game of Death? Yeah.

21:00 You remember Game of Death? The fake Bruce Lee from Game of Death. It's not Bruce Lee. There was some cuts in it. I'm going to meet him And the thing I thought about I mean that is a crazy scene too. He's like the badass karate guy and Bruce Lee in a movie. You know what I'm saying? I mean, that is a crazy scene, too. because Chuck Norris was down with Bruce Lee

22:52 a karate but American style. I remember thinking at the time, wow, that is fucking a white guy talking shit. all the time fucking know if he flew around and there was like Blue Thunder, Airwolf, a fucking, you know, using Blue Thunder? and look at the shit It was from the Andy Griffith show, What was he on the other show? You know Who wrote this stupid thing

25:24 Except for Twilight Zone I can still watch that Cause it It didn't watch fucking anything in black and white except for Twilight Zone a bad ending in my opinion You're still showing it now. But a very famous actor as well. That's Elizabeth Taylor back when she was hot as fuck. They really got it right. Yeah. And remember the cartoon? it like it's like George W. Bush.

28:04 But Richard Nixon was pretty bad, too. Richard Carter. He was a terrible person. You know, I have a buddy, I guess we shouldn't say his name, The swaying of the building back and forth actually charged them up and powered them. trying to get rid of Obama, going crazy have ever existed, he's the one Oh, yeah. that probably rocked it that way. shit. Eddie Brown was a firm believer in the underground cities.

31:21 Hook me up. the first at the epicenter I want to be right there Fuck that. head up no no look i'm gonna i'm gonna follow my human instincts and keep on keeping on but if i had to choose between living a life of fucking cancer and radiation and zombies or getting hit and turn the host into something that it's not. And it busts out of this thing's body cavity.

33:06 You got to kill that dog. Doberman Pinscher snapping at me. Wow. That's not a zombie like that. I believe that. That's the exact reason. What about the soul comes back? he came back. like a hundred times. Yeah. The real possibility is the possibility that was expressed in that 28 Days Later, It was pretty good, but it was following one of People eating human flesh, it's been documented very recently

36:30 Look, man, when people are starving to death, you know, being of circa 2011 for sure someone someone did i was i couldn't believe what i was seeing this This mama hamster that I always loved. We had the mama no longer my friend. And I kicked it really hard, How durable are hamsters? How durable are hamsters? I was in Pittsburgh this last weekend for the UFC,

39:33 about wearing animal clothes and maybe they have sex with animal clothes on. I had no idea of the that make them look like animated cartoon people That's where they get these things from. They're all furries. They go and get litter boxes if you don't, Some of them. so you don't know. You just know she's who you are and they're shitting who you are bowls of milk from the hotel

43:02 Look, it's a bunny! People would think If I was starving, maybe. Man, that's a little loving creature, man. They don't bark. I pet them for 30 seconds to a minute. That cat, you could pet that cat for 100 days in a row. So she associates people with affection. But the problem is that... They would say, drink your own piss, too. was that there was bunny shit everywhere. Like, little rabbit rabbit turds everywhere you pick them up with your hand they're

45:31 I got a castle for him. The love that you have for this bunny is pretty fun. Just open up the door and close it on people. Her sister calls me up and says, hey, Moretta had the baby. I had a new girlfriend it looks Mexican three months before you could pull the amount of blood that you need to take the test. So I had to Let's do this. And when I got to the house, he looked at me and he didn't recognize me.

48:31 I love this little kid. I'm like like you know I went through I'm gonna look for this guy No. I just wanted to touch base. into jiu-jitsu. He's all into it, man. I do. he looks Mexican you were like half Japanese you look at the kwatu and then you look at and then you look at uh what we did on the joe show we came up with the idea of having a fake band and that you guys were all going to wear these

52:36 website but since you move the servers now everything's kind of weird it was they were He was the producer. You had it on your website. who's going to the 10-foot screws show tonight? 6'3 to El Pollo Loco. So Duncan was selling it. I was the total douchebag lead singer. so like Paul Stanley let me hear the noise Find that and cue it up. It was weird.

55:28 Do you remember Remember that? to do crazy shit. Like, you know, bands sometimes pray before they go out. The guy didn't want to, like, fire back. I'm about to suck, he probably thought, they both sold to the audience. They opened up and they said Joe Rogan? I think I could do it. You could do it, I'm sorry. We deny this. You can't be saying this. No, I did not.

57:51 Unfindable? You might not have it. experiment i thought that show was hilarious. That is hilarious. Yeah. Poo berry fleshlight? It smells like blueberries. It makes me giggle. The best one recently is Tebe, Jason Tebow, his girlfriend Danielle. Can you believe that? girlfriend and a room full of strangers. But I think whenever you get an opportunity to completely pretend to be somebody else, you get to dress up in some outfit.

1:01:14 than you thought, but for the most part, you get a kind of vibe, and some people get a I bet a lot of them... The bunny serial killer. or do you think you would get a weird vibe from them? and the more people you come in contact with, If you're a real honest person, and you're honest in the way you communicate with people, And ever since you see that or feel that feeling,

1:03:13 Yeah. But in The Hulk, But it's because of the we. It just feels fucking gross. The glass skulls are fake? It's called Finding Bigfoot or something like that what they think you know so in the beginning of the seminar i go by show of hands who believes believe in Sasquatches? if they don't believe it, And I go, okay. First of all, there's 250 different native american names for sasquatch 250 different names for this big hairy man that

1:06:13 That's the Indian name, right? Sasquatch? do, and some of them do and some don't, but for the most part I don't think it's like There actually was an eight-foot-tall, erect, giant ape called Gicantopithecus this now extinct animal that they know exists made but it was so large they couldn't believe that it was a human's. You don't find dead bears. The thing's gone in three days.

1:09:02 They all just take things away. And the females are larger than the males. legs. It's the creepiest shit you've ever seen. skulls of this thing. That's interesting. I didn't even know about that. They probably don't exist anymore. it really occurs to you how fucking dense that shit is. connecticut they thought that there was no panthers on the It could have been a pet.

1:11:49 it's fairly rare to see one. They're crafty animals. But people who have studied these sounds, like primatologists have studied these sounds. There's some fucking sounds that these guys have recorded. And it could be hoaxes. Look at this. It could be, man. desire to find secrets like ghosts, something retarded like that. Like who the fuck cares? some incredible shit that they're discovering,

1:14:08 and they would just pass right through the sun. have gone through our our whatever shit atmosphere yeah atmosphere burned out maybe depends on what atmosphere, sometimes it still produces insane damage, man. Like there's an area of the Soviet Those fucking things are terrifying, man. That's the thing about ghosts that's so scary. You can get rid of, though. Has a ghost ever died in a movie? That's the thing about ghosts that's so scary.

1:16:20 You can't kill them, bro. That ghost level You know what's funny? And they're all exactly the same. I'm like, why are you playing music? what you define as a ghost. Dosis gut. According to ancient aliens. That is maybe know if... According to ancient aliens... Well, you just said it's the worst. It was fascinating, the actual facts of what the Nazis were into.

1:18:55 fascinated by all that stuff. They were very much I mean, Volkswagen, that's the car for the people. They were channeling. And they were running the Nazis, the Vril Society. ancient Sumerian text and there's instructions They built UFOs. A lot of that is speculation. I don't know. which is just a jet engine. Dude, don't even say shit like that on my podcast, bitch.

1:21:51 and how many of them but how do we know The what society? And we're like, oh, yeah? If you pay attention to how people operate, man, skull and bones is basically what happens in vegas stays in vegas on the biggest level possible And this is how you become a member in this group. You're like, dude, and then they totally make you eat shit. People got mad at me.

1:24:19 It was a fun ride. They're probably going to be Macaulay Culkin-esque. So I was like, oh, Jesus, here we go again. Amy Fisher, the chick who got famous by shooting someone, she's on it. most of those reality shows are bullshit you know know that as much as anybody. Yeah, but we think it's real. that they have absolutely no stake in. It's like cathartic.

1:26:12 You watch these morons living their retarded life. talking to that Comic Con about podcasts totally like we're experts we should speak speak. We should speak at Comic-Con about podcasts. I don't know. and there's a lot of shit that they got wrong, man, just straight wrong. Is Zeitgeist anti-God? and how the towers fell. Did you fart? Maybe it was Brian. Maybe it was Brian.

1:28:41 this vegetable drink. It's crazy. You know, I met him in 91, maybe, somewhere around then. she tells you to take this blender That's what it looks like. Like if you were logging on a river they'll test everything and give you a percentage up and down that how allergic you are of everything Yeah, that's exactly what it probably is, man. You know, it's just like funky glue.

1:31:25 This is all sugar, you know? It's great. I was gonna say, Eddie and I talked about it. was the guy that was trying to save the Salton Sea. This one, Plagues and Pleasures of the Salton Sea. Somebody sent me a video online. coast. And I was like, what the fuck? It got flooded and that's what fucked everything up. There's 400 people that live two hours. We should build a

1:33:47 Some of the people As long as we don't so we don't really They were building all these condos and houses. Because it was all man-made. It's like, it really is a ghost town. Didn't you go with me when we drove It was me and Dimitri then. This is how old school we're going. A ballroom. It's like it was as big as Leko. You know, like high level, top exciting aspect of the UFC. It's striking,

1:36:52 certain things. So it's hard for them to relax and just get into the striking. But if you watch Max. That's all I watch. It's hard for me. And i watch professional pool i got hours of pool on my laptop i got like maybe 10 15 hours of pool if I'm gonna watch striking they didn't stop it you have ever seen I hate it when a fighter hurts so many fights can just turn at the blink of an eye.

1:38:59 And I know for sure that there's... If Pat Barry would have just took him down and pounded him on the ground, that wouldn't have happened. and Corrales goes out, it was just like that, I mean, almost, except there was knockdowns and he A lot of people said, He still could win. once Pat Barry was out because they're crazy freaks. You don't have to see it because it's just Roy Jones doing commentary and he can't say the word spectacular.

1:41:03 She's starting to slip. He's something If you see it on video, it's even more noticeable. ever gerald mcclellan was a fucking animal but in his prime he got in a fight with nigel ben and he Like, he was obviously done. because Julian Jackson was one of the hardest punchers ever, man he fought so smart and his reflexes were so good up until he fought Antonio

1:43:45 you make your body like hyper-testosterone levels where they're far above normal, If you were on a cycle of steroids for three months, you need six months just to get your And if you watch the difference between Roy Jones' body from the Antonio Tarver fight to the John Ruiz fight. fuck out. And that was the first time he ever got knocked out. And from that point on, it was all

1:45:27 it was ugly dude he froze up like halfway like like was crumbling and the referee the guy looks when he was a 20-year-old phenom, You know that rap song? to play music anymore. Look at the pictures. there's not they didn't do a whole lot of what ifs when they built these fucking things right you these fusion or fission reactors, and they can't stop it. They don't know how to stop it. What's going energy in this one, you know, one isolated area, and they can't

1:47:47 It's not that bad. and then they take it looks like, yeah, you know fucking 10 miles from here or something like that i had a total meltdown supposedly in said it on stage 100 i doubt that bitch no because when i said you're like that's actually a really There's a movie right there What is that thing called All these Ewoks crying. was the garbage of another dimension.

1:50:32 A fucking guy in a Prius throwing a cigarette out the window. What kind of a person some natural organic food out the window. The last one in San Francisco, throw cigarettes Let's follow him. And I think they said like almost all the patients, than anybody would really imagine. I can't get enough of it. This was my effects on it like ecstasy like it started like oh okay here it goes i'm feeling good feeling it i guess i'm tired

1:54:13 started a laboratory for, he's been on the podcast a bunch of times and twice. And he I started actually realizing, and it had like ginkgo biloba First of all, the really freaky thing is, man, you don't get tired on this shit. Afterwards, went to hang out with Ralphie May. I took three in the morning because i was exhausted i took has something that it's reacting to

1:56:47 Contestants they asking them about evolution. Yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah and nice to barbaric and animalistic. And That shit's because we came from fucking animals, It's just really, really poor, You actually sat down and sorted this shit out. I was an atheist at 20. You're all over the place now. pretty much every weekend do a seminar at one of them i'm trying to do two a month and for me

1:59:12 when you don't have to to my schools And it makes me almost want to be like, hey, dude, what's up? I'm not going to risk that. So it's still fucked. a higher tolerance to pain, son. Your face is getting smushed. And in any martial art, anytime you're hitting things and Muay Thai guys, man, over the surface of your shin from clashing into other shins and kicking fucking banana trees and

2:01:24 Just swinging that leg kick into a baseball bat No, thank you. His toe got broken. Some guy was talking about getting knocked out in training Do you see that and go, whoa, and screw it in place and they can fix you up nice you know if you like hurt your brain they He's not even willing to retire. They get stupid. there's a guy that would have They ain't even gonna come after you

2:04:34 for a few years. He's in jail right now. We all need money to make this fucking thing work. You got to pay that shit anyway, son. I used TurboTax and blindly was like, oh, I have receipts for all this shit, thinking Whoa. had a business manager now three years and it relieves so much stress I don't Why don't you go to like H&R Block? My girl right now just paid something like $700

2:06:38 I hate taxes so much, It's all so goddamn fucking complicated. Hmm. Peter North drives a Ferrari And they're like I was like, no way. But then you go and find some videos online Did we talk about I think the second time That's a good story. a friend of ours they did an internet search like i think it's the criteria it's's a lot of awards are fake anyways.

2:08:59 It wasn't an actual award that he won? Like, who is the master of, like, who just crushes everybody? The master of gay porn. Number one male gay porn star. We shouldn Jameson of gay porn, right? Like the master of gay porn. I don't know. No. Is there a dude who went to 50 dudes? Brent Corrigan that might be her gay pornograph best known for Best bottom is you being on the bottom

2:11:20 I love his bottom. say? Gay gangbang record? This was 780 men. Dude, I believe they got to crush women because the women are doing like 50, maybe 100 is Listen to this shit. Why would it be 9 feet 29 inches? Oh. It says 3 meters. Right, so 3 meters is 9 feet. That's huge. It's got to be a distance. I don't know. What do you think, Brian? and 35 miles an hour?

2:14:39 But maybe if she had a glass of coconut water, C2O, Make sure it's 100% loads? I don't know. That's old. That doesn't count. worked himself over 55 women in one day he had five to six ejaculations that's pretty good well I lose the... I'm coming on you with my tears. No, I'm just saying that literally I can have sex nonstop all day. I don't know anybody like that.

2:17:02 It's all just in your balls ready to shoot. For real? You know why he's saying this? Where's Taylor Vixen? You never find. because I never thought it was possible in my life. Like, remember you say you would fall asleep Yes you did Maybe that time she's like I I'm tired of this shit. Sure. she was only stripping I need some ecstasy sitting there watching TV and I just got really horny.

2:19:37 And I go, oh my God. I didn't know I was on ecstasy until right in the middle of sex. After a while. No, no, people are different. Is that a lot? You got to get your shit from reputable sources. The problem is have you seen photos of people to the point where their bones are exposed. that they think is ecstasy Yeah, these bath salts. You never know.

2:22:31 Yeah, it's cocaine, bad cocaine in Los Angeles and New York City, And they say like 90% of the cocaine in New York and California is contaminated with this shit. which is cheap and widely available who actually wants to stop people from using cocaine. I don't know. No, I'm just... Who knows? It looks like CGI to me. You wouldn't want to turn it and point it down

2:25:02 Actors? He calls fakes better than anybody. It's like making their ear Some people have What is that shit? And on that note, I think this fucking podcast started off real strong. The guy from Ancient Aliens is coming on the podcast, Tsoukalos? yes guilty as charged you should probably July 27th sure i don't necessarily believe in them i don't have any aliens in my logos well my whole logo

2:27:59 that i meet at least 10 of them are fucking morons like extreme morons right if you meet a thousand wouldn't you That's what they're saying. but who knows what that really is what he said. Yeah. Or maybe he's a troll. Maybe Wernher So, who the fuck knows? He could have been He seems almost like he could be a character. It's sexy to believe in aliens.

2:30:27 on mushrooms And he's written two books now before he went on his trip, which you're never supposed No, no, no. I was like, wow, Joe's hanging out with edie bergel because when whoever I'm alright, don't worry about me. You've got to trust in the psychedelic, So if you want to hug Brian, there's a few that have get ink on their skin it's going to be Joey

2:32:55 do some Q&A, some Q&A when you're on acid. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. click on the link for the Fleshlight, July 23rd, I think. Holy shit. Wow. I'm not sure, again, if it's too late or not, Like, hey, happy anniversary. We're going to have seminars on the boat. We need to do a death squad cruise. All right, folks. Thank you, Mr. Bravo. Thank you. Follow Eddie on Twitter. Eddie Bravo on it. Eddie, can I, I want to learn the love of art from you, master. You gotta get the VIP suite. Oh, VIP suite. All right, folks.

2:35:12 You know how it works. and it's Sam Tripoli's podcast, and fun,