Joe Rogan Experience #1192 — Tony Hinchcliffe Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Powerful young Tony Encliffe! I just had a drink or two pretty much every night. perfect shape. Feel good about that drinks and smokes the two correlate you quit one it's gonna help with the other big time but i Yeah. I even still love the nice gust of secondhand smoke. Cause what else gives you nothing and takes everything? Really? Did you ever cough up anything black?

3:27 johnny and he was talking about like not only was that a major thing like those damn cigarettes like through? taken oh man eddie murphy had a bit about it eddie murphy had a bit about johnny carson's What year does that say at the top left? Back then, that's like a million a month. Oh, so he's married to her for a long time. That ain't shit now. We were going over some

5:42 There's nothing she could have done. table. He looks like he's wearing a mask. These guys just keep going in. humorous. Like, Elizabeth But as she got older, like she was... But then towards the end, Because I believe she was married. She married Richard Burton twice. Hotelier. She was rich as fuck. This is what dollartimes.com says it's worth $8.1 million.

9:33 I think see if you find out Elizabeth Taylor married gay guys because that was like always a stand-up comedy joke that Yeah. It's happening. He's like, Purple Rain, cocksucker. Prince. Wasn't that one of his things? So they had him out there dancing and shit, looking like a bag of bones. Oh, God. He hurt himself doing construction and then got on some pills, you know,

12:53 really you know I'm very reactive to pills blah blah blah but I so but I was in a lot of pain so to you they just fucked just like oh this is the greatest feeling i i could do this all the time this is incredible Yeah. So. Oh, Jesus. somewhat because one of the things about alcohol right is that it causes inflammation cbd perhaps could It's a combo.

16:16 Yeah, that's what's going to be interesting is when Smirnoff starts investing in marijuana, Heck yeah. They're like, crossing international borders with cannabis is illegal. Wow, that's fucking... funny it's a disposal all the times that last second i'm just throwing joint tubes into the into the into the trash can like who would actually go up to that thing and throw it in there

18:13 sitting down and then she realized would lay there like that he's probably had a fucking snorkel. Porta Potty Peeper, Luke So it happened in Boulder? Get a pod. and Sky Orion, whose YouTube channel features clips, including this one, So he climbed in there to have people shit on him. I didn't know what the hell they were talking about before. Scroll back up so it gets to that.

20:46 In June 2011, we noted that a woman attended And after exiting the chamber, he heard the door locked behind them. Oh, God. it sounds kind of weird, but I would just find my peace and go away. Just to know that someone like that is a real person. What did you say? We should put one of those those Jeremiah Watkins does what now, before we get any further, I don't know who conducted these tests.

23:56 and they showed homophobic men erotica are aroused by gay male porn. Here it is. One video depicted straight sex, one depicted lesbian sex, and one depicted gay male sex. Was it? And he'd win a bunch of money. Yeah. snowballed from there. Remember what I'm talking about? So anyway, we put these sensors on Earl Skakel's dick and have someone take a shit in front of him.

27:01 I can't help but thinking that that lady's running through shit now This is only, This big guy, I believe. What does the expression mean? It's like a comment. Oh, my God. you liked it at the time because a lot came out. The reason why I would imagine fat guys suck dick better is because it involves food and dick. Oh, okay. That's a crazy one. She started with, why is it bad for a black person to dress up as a white person or a

30:50 Really? Yeah, I mean... What would happen? Yeah, you could you could be white you came quicker than the guy getting his dick sucked by that guy man ma'am that's crazy pretty but it wasn't even really done when it was abolished. Yes. But what I meant was when it was abolished. The Emancipation Proclamation. And then the war ended 1865. watching old movies period yeah they go like the 1920s and shit it's like it's so i i i've watched

33:51 You're going to think it's funny. on the couch watching king kong it looks so corny like the claymation she teaches herself how to shoot like it's like real awesome dude you'd fucking love it i couldn't I don't listen to any of these people's opinions. Is that how it always works? It's not typical. They're probably splitting vast sums of money because it's a full-blown machine.

36:46 which basically means that I had to make sure at the table servers to food runners, you can make more than even a server at a Ruth's Chris steakhouse. i was just going everywhere and complaining about everything from fucking nail salons to movie They're complaining about everything. by listening to the vibrations off of your window panes? Who's backing him?

39:46 with julia roberts he was like a hot mentally ill person and uh he just believed everything Schizophrenia, it's game, set, match. and it's just like my god i literally said the words like i'm like i wish i was i wish i had The addict in him, the guy that loved getting wasted, that's his high now. That's a small workout, a small workout. First of all my main competition is Ari Shafir and whether you realize it or not Ari Shafir even though he doesn't exercise

42:38 He rode a bike for a certain amount of miles. He stayed in the 80% on the rowing And even though he's not in great shape, like in terms of like a guy who runs, in comparison to Burt, he's in fantastic shape. Yeah. I was working out really hard, and it was hard. This sounds like a guy at a porta-potty's dream. That was today. Like I limped up to the trail

45:43 punching and kicking the bag. You don't give a fuck about anything. My dog is, I think, like eight months old or something now. And we're all, we are that same way. It's like a mile or two. That's all you need, really. Yeah, and it cleanses and stress out about it He's just you know, it's just a ball of energy but at least least he doesn't have anxiety and negative chatter.

49:06 Other than the fact that I can't walk good. That's what's hard. So it was basically six and a half hours. It's easy for a comedian to not work out. I don't think that had anything to do with it. Right. where's the blow? You know, do you know that he, Kinnison, and Roseanne have something really serious in common? different things. fucking time in a coma for a long fucking time

52:46 there was no women like her no one she was fat she didn't give a fuck she would Because I'm pretty sure her first ever spot as a paid regular was in the main room, which was a big deal at the time. yeah that would drive anybody crazy the whole thing's crazy because also waiting for it's crazy right? I'm, For Roseanne Barr it was like instantaneous.

55:13 Out. You're already rich. Well, it's people that are on the outside that are watching these people live these spectacular lives. he's like that fucking guy's a security guard now man and i was like okay but if you saw like a I mean, he's physically a mess. Yeah, yeah. In some movie The fact that people are It's very strange how people are attached to that.

58:04 People want to see people break if anybody's doing anything $68 million or the original no the apology was hilarious this woman uh said that some woman from australia said Oh. Let's play the actual video. There was a controversy on The Real Housewives of New York with Luann. See, that's the first one. Then play it again. My favorite one of hers that she.

1:00:54 and she just went Like, Santa Claus isn't fucking real. Yeah. They thought those people were just going to come over. liked that. She was an ice princess They have so many of them. Yeah. You think that's funny? And it was rough. And I did it, and it was rough. It's really crazy. could have been something that I talked about early on. Just literally.

1:05:38 But the mom's angry. are you doing? Do you think that's going to And I said to her, I go, you seem like – I go, you seem like an internet troll that just stumbled in here. mom right I go you seem tough but I'm gonna break you at some point during this set. And when I do, I'm going to make sure this whole room knows. I'm going to say, I gotcha. And I'm

1:07:44 How is it possible that you don't laugh at that? they're against this chick right because this chick's now just mad because whatever and and i this email from the time to write a letter to my manager of all people? 99% thought you were funny, but that's not good enough. I mean, I've run into people like that at the store. Boston's great something about like he just wanted you to shit on it the day to talk about artificial intelligence. He brought it up as a joke. What did he say? Do you remember what he said?

1:10:19 You're in Connecticut. Tommy Jr. lives in Connecticut. Those are good people Greenwich. Hell yeah. Damn. Those look like an apartment building, dude. I know, but it's... But let me see a house. Let me see a house. See, that's not real but it's being built damn those are the those ones where you got to turn out the lights make sure your color on your TVs right and turn up the sound yeah yeah but that's that area

1:12:35 What is he going to do? Is his show on television or is it on the internet? like he used to do, but it's just some on that wooden background set. oh shit what's going on there with the eyes? I'm confused. Lots of tense makeup. But wait a minute. There you go. It's like it's spray painted with a box. Makeup's lovely. He's born in the 1900s, man. Really?

1:15:26 That's her look. Probably like me. They're not cat eyes. Oh. Tell me he doesn't look coked out of his mind. 1971. Unable to pay back money he owned. It's not that bad. They do. I love it. One and two. Like cocaine cowboys is almost all about America. Everybody was doing coke. And he was there during the cocaine violence years. So he was doing his wounds and fucking attacked with

1:19:15 Yeah. Because it's warm. I'll put my ass out the window. That would be actually really fun. Thank god we're not doctors i mean sometimes you're just helping horrible human beings that just slaughtered some of your EMT workers too. I go, what? He's telling me this They've been run over by trucks every day, all day long. God. I'm a mom. It seems to make sense to me that female EMTs would be pretty horned up.

1:23:30 It must happen. Some fugly looking female guard Yeah and then she turned herself in Whoa Wow Damn The alarms are going off and the manhunt was underway. Like, how did he get out? She's like, I fucked him. Wow. Joyce Mitchell denied parole after helping killer inmates escape New York prison. He was in a maximum security penitentiary. He's like, that affects you.

1:25:22 Yeah. A guy that hates rats killed him. Whitey Bulger met a violent end after a lifetime of brutality. In a three-foot grave near a river not far from Boston, Yeah. I was 19 at the time, and I was teaching Taekwondo. arts he was gonna use it like he was a guy that was in case he needed to use it Mr. Bulger's eyes appeared to have been dislodged from his head

1:29:04 Yep. Well, couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Scam. Yeah, it's dark. and Dana White. No, it wasn't the UFC. Yeah, it was real, man. Yeah, it was like everybody knew somebody who was in some way connected to the mob. Ugh. Yeah. guy that i knew who sold coke and uh this guy had gone to jail and uh i knew him before he went to like his arms are covered in scars. And he wasn't good. He wasn't like a talented martial artist. But he was insanely tough.

1:33:29 We're fighting. Irish guy? wanted to keep going i said i go richie i go you got to look in the mirror i go come look in the But that was the last time I sparred with him. And, you know, this one girl was like, you know, like, Richie, when are we going to get that stuff? That's so funny. I forget what he went to jail for. you were sparring with some friends like i was sparring with like my friend leroy rodriguez a

1:36:53 Crazy. Shit was different. get it I mean you get that kind of a concussion when you bounce your head off And he leg kicks one of them and then punches him in the face. He gets up. You didn't see it? again yep that's it go scroll down a little bit yeah somebody must have pulled it i got a concussion It was like a new thing, the pre-made, super-processed Rice Krispie treats

1:40:09 Some dude got my head. he was, and he's just now, there's nothing he can do. That wrestling match. How did his son die? This is the video sent to me on that. Oh, here it is. It's on world. Oh, yeah And he's like dough would do one-on-one one-on-one one-on-one. You fought another dude first I'm trying to keep it. Then he cracks him and so then the guys like realizing he's in trouble and so he starts backing away

1:43:38 And so this guy goes, you want a leg kick? Watch, he takes a puff of his cigarette. Out cold. And nothing would happen to them. They'd just be fighting. When you find out how vulnerable you are, the human brain, the way it's positioned in the head, actually I took a good outside of a bar It's a real move, man. That was just the whole thing. Right? I had to knock out Kelly for the trifecta, and that was amazing.

1:47:04 That was after the Schottenstein, right? Wow. Schot good food. That was fun. That was after the Schottenstein, right? Only show I've ever worn a football jersey on stage. It's fun there, man. Yeah. Young Jamie, photographer extraordinaire. in one night on a friday night insanity the shows at home are crazy we have whitney cummings on That's three of the members right there.

1:49:25 we started the show off with a former reality star And the last guy we pull out of the bucket comes out of the audience area with uh with wearing shorts and one of his legs is uh It's just so cool because we're basically, when it comes to that PC stuff that we were talking about earlier, and the apollo 13 standing up like oh hell no and it's like, you know, since it's such a live show, that's sort of like, you know, if you make a racist joke that's not funny, you're going to die, dude.

1:51:38 There's always something new. Everybody's smiling but Red Band. He really is He's so good at it He really is You know Well it's the new thing Yep. Good to hear. We're going to talk about some things. They think somehow or another this is a I don't want to talk about that. There's fun in navigating the waters. if I was someone who's looking to be offended how would i so get that out of the way like there was some bits that i did in the last

1:55:04 This is what I'm saying. Oh, yeah, yeah. how do i keep the drunk dummy from popping off before i get to the misdirect like so i had to That's what's great about doing the clubs on the road You don't develop material and like Air Canada Center the you know the Scotiabank arena that we went to yeah You develop material there. they're fucking themselves.

1:57:46 Say it. Oh, shit. Me and Joey Diaz went to see him there were fans and they were with it that's the difference between that and say a set at the store They're clapping. and get them going it's also because they're right on top of you in the OR. They're right there. And they know what the blue light in the corner means all of a sudden. Oh, here comes the piano guy.

2:00:33 I fucking love that room. I saw a big giant picture up from Instagram. And I literally did. How did you stay awake? I'm super wired. I slept from 11am And this guy and this guy and this guy and this guy and the band and everybody was just on fire we met some of the best and worst people That was the same guy. everybody's jobs that's that guy that guy is a genius he's like andy kaufman meets a fucking

2:04:40 So you're ahead in the front here driving while Watkins takes his picture. And he didn't sit next to a window for some reason. and then it became what it is now. You're really good with live audiences like that, off the cuff. Yeah. Right? What's it made out of? Ah! fabric. Oh, it's a type of fabric. Type in gold La May suit. Would you... That one's a little ridiculous.

2:08:15 It'll get in the washing machine. It's, yeah, a spandex. We need to get David August. She's wearing one That fits you perfectly No, I don't want to buy Elvis a suit. He's been farting in it. 35 minutes. I love it. I think I'm going to London for the first time in the middle of February. They were laughing. i know you wouldn't do that that's why it was crazy to me because i'm like either the either

2:11:24 But they're just You came out, and you were comfortable. And they really appreciate it as a show. Like, the way they watch a show. You know what else is fucking great but in a different way? Yeah, they've done UFCs there. I don't know. No, he did fight one UFC fight against Brandao. And then every other one was in Vegas. My girl's fighting. what'd she do?

2:14:04 Yeah, she reached She ran right out. She came out However, I think not having to cut that extra 10 pounds is going to give Ioana a lot of pop and a lot of extra energy. I think it'd be better for her. It's probably one of the more technical female MMA fights you're ever going to see. been a good time it's over let me see the the standings see if anybody made a wild push today

2:16:15 Notifications? Stuck in it. Wonderful new bug.