Joe Rogan Experience #1205 — Jake "The Snake" Roberts & Tony Hinchcliffe Transcript

Transcript

0:00 here we go three two one and we're live Tony Hinchcliffe hello Jake the fucking snake I can't No doubt. And he guided me through it. Probably the best grandfather ever. this and uh he was able to hold us together man i mean there were a couple of brief moments that got kind of escalated and got kind of stupid but um he wouldn't give up man I can talk to him.

2:51 picks up a phone and calls somebody and thanks them We played a video when he was in of a gentleman who was— He starts out, barely can stand, barely can walk. Yeah. But it's a one in a million shot, man, unless you have a Diamond Dallas Page in your corner. They just cut me a new one, man. Because I stayed there for three and a half years. I go out the other side and pick up a pay phone and call my dealer.

5:31 because it knows right now you're locked in. like when you did slip up because you slipped up a couple of times four or five times i did yeah Oh, I'm damn sure in now. because he had to share a room with me. I had no idea my asshole was in his mouth. in that house together like the experiences that you guys shared working together and then still He got a better card than I did.

8:26 wanted to be over and there's been so many years that were like that for me that i wouldn't go out And that's just wrong, man. And I said, being an addict. We're not enjoying getting high. What was pulling you? But yeah, I would because this is what I'm meant to be doing right now. Done. Even when Dallas offered me to pay the whole trip and you'll move in with me,

11:19 Wow. When did it start? They'd let it heal, then they'd re-break it a different way. Antabuse. It happens that quick. and get a fifth of whiskey. No more pain. And because I went through some ugly shit as a kid, What do you do with it? That's one of the things that Dallas preaches, you know, life happens. What do you do with it? That's something I couldn't do.

15:41 And that screwed my head up. I'm keeping quiet while the wife beats me and has me do her and then beats me afterwards. Are you kidding me? I remember the first time talking about it to a high school buddy of mine. No. We'd drink it at 12 years old, 11 years old. And you go out and you try to have a good time with people, You give me five Percocet, brother,

18:38 when I wanted to go to the gym, my regimen was to wake up, go downstairs, start the coffee maker, Really? Yeah. About the pain? I felt no pain when I wrestled. Back then, they had chop blocks, It's gone. Come on, let's finish the match. Holy fuck It feels good in fact No I was straight pretty much I like to have an extra drink or two that night. Seven days a week.

22:30 The next day you might be in Omaha at 2 o'clock Hey, folks out there, pray for him, man. I pulled my back the other day, he tore his mangina. It's obvious though, isn't it? Did you carry it on or would you check it? No wow that poor fucking snake yeah no shit that snake's like So you had different snakes? I'd look at stuff to read, but it just wouldn't work.

25:11 People say steroids. They invented it in World War II. and of course now that you can see Wow. They can't say they helped me, but I will tell you this. and he's got suitcases over here boxes here suitcases here boxes there what do you need kid excuse me what do you need up down what Who would be going to Canada? I'm getting all their shit. Where am I hiding it?

28:02 He hasn't eaten in three weeks. your Rottweiler's chewing on my asshole. They de-venomized them. Oh, really? That's what their bite felt like. with a girl and instantly Watch it right there. That's the first great question I want to ask. When you put this snake on Macho Man's arm, he packed it. 300 kids were raped that day because Jake, right? All right.

31:10 there on that snake. Really? Yeah. He's a tough motherfucker. Oh, my God. And by the way, this is on a Saturday morning. See, Piper's terrified of snakes. I went, yeah. Here's the story. Macho walks in. He's like, About the snake. Stranger things have happened in the WWE. Cheek, I'm just telling you this. Get the fucking snake out. so I got the cobra out and I pulled my pant leg up

34:51 didn't make you happy you know i could have died if i'd known you want me to die i'd die you Wow. I've said it like this. Right. We're asking a lot. No bloods pumping. I remember during the match. We did the match. Boom, boom, cold. Really? No bloods pumping. I pounded that Remove the poison glands? Better do. Yeah, I mean, for a little kid to watch a real snake, an actual cobra.

37:21 Please, baby. Oh, wow. as a motherfucker anyway I'm not pissing. Just piss in the floor. He's only out there for 10 days. entire length of their body. He was Charles Manson revisited. And about 150 of them were poisonous. He's like, it's not necessary. looking at his beard dude, no, Wow. And they had like 800 snakes down there, right? God's made this especially for me.

40:47 and shit to find these poisonous snakes yeah it's cool isn't it i'm like fuck you alfred you're And a poisonous snake's children, what happens there? Okay, look. He's fucking biting. No, they got to fly it in from fucking Atlanta or wherever. And then they had to get him somewhere to safety. I think he went through like 16 operations. close his eyes and i'd run my finger over his eyelid and he'd just feel all these little bumps

43:57 be like without snakes thank god snakes exist well you know the uh steamboat you know come up and leave the window down about that much He chewed his way out of the wooden cage. Thought to be prehistoric? grown-ups don't eat them so that their parents don't eat them they roll around in shit so that the grown-ups don't eat them, so that their parents don't eat them. They roll around in shit so that their parents don't eat them.

46:12 pretty quick yeah you see your sister get chewed up yeah right you see them avoid shit but eat So then the pythons moved on to alligators. I'll get to you. I need that picture. It's fucking gross you never thought Jake the Snake would be roasting you live on the internet. Oh, God, yeah. Remember him? so I dug him, man. out to the bars. But he did tell them, you better fucking win.

48:45 I don't know. I don't know. It ate a hippo. Baby hippos are probably Fuck, that'd be too much, man, if a fucking wrestler, you know, smoking some weed. Oh. Blake the Snake. Blake is like a guy Not even Blake But I did go and said, okay, I've got to think of a name. J.R. Well under no certain terms will you ever, you know. Totally. The guy is Bill Watts, mid-sell.

52:22 so everybody had their own business. Oh, really? Oh, I'm sure there is. That is insane. This is what grandpa looks like. is on his way and dives into it and slams his thigh into the side of the ring, blows his fucking quad off the bone, I mean, this is fucking crazy. Yeah, he's done. and it's controversial With his legs stretched out. There's no way.

54:55 Jack had the beans. Yeah, David Arquette's- A guitar. Wait a minute. It was a highly controversial moment. Because when they showed him on TMZ, he was running around. It is really I hated wrestling He got hit in the head. Kind of hilarious. executive producing a bunch of stuff like he's one of the executive producers But you see where he just hit him with a chair

57:50 Hunks of glass in the ring It didn't go the way You think so? Oh Guy takes him over, and he's on top of him. That's interesting Oh yeah, that's a double cross, David Arquette sitting back knowing that Jake the Snake is doing commentary on his match. I mean, didn't Dallas, didn't Dallas started when he was 36? i moved in with him and then we had the infamous snake incident in his house what was the infamous

1:00:12 and she caught me I forgot the snake upstairs. the fuck? Look at me. right out. Fuck, get a He's not in here. Oh no. I'm like, what? Because we have dicks. Well, I've had three successful marriages. A lot better In 86 But then I got to push you back. As long as I was there. that I knew wonderful woman. you're not going to I had to leave. Sheetrock.

1:03:28 That's so cool, man. several walls and they finally found it one of the walls what did it do climb an event it got And after they sealed the drywall in the back, I heard, meow, meow. I'm like, she's in the fucking wall. Yeah. But the first night he's in, we'd already been there two nights. he will not stay Fuck him. He wrestles. And then he goes back down.

1:06:35 Sure he did. They probably have a sense of fear Well, especially after that, knowing that they can travel that way. Jesus Christ, where's that fucking snake yeah it's in melbourne He'll snake up the asterisk. and he's laying there And somebody goes, Giant breath. Which is actually the best way to start. They gave me a van. so we get through with the show

1:09:27 It's an 85-mile trip. Back even when I drank, until I get into that first third or fourth hour, I got to piss. But so after, You don't know anything. I got to piss again. Fuck off. I don't care if you out-drink me, Bro, his hand would cover that beer up. That's a 12 ounce. 550 pounds. andre's hands are you'll see he helps that he helps him pull him still he had me pick him up

1:12:19 Hogan's 300 pounds there. he wasn't as big he's not six eight no more no more. Yeah. He's about 6'4. a motherfucker and he don't even know it yeah so here i am hitting him as hard as i could He knocked me down, and I'm on my back, We went out there and played. that they made on him on HBO? Yeah. And pain. Continued to grow. Right. Didn't he just got to squish it in the water?

1:15:19 Well, his home was a giant house. he would just get so harassed out in public. Andre looks around, Andre stands up. that's out front of the bar and flips it over. There's We were wrestling in Montreal. which was pretty easy to register. And just, you know, I heard fucking vertebrae. trying to let everything come back in because I'd seen the lights coming at first,

1:17:58 Like, blah. It wasn't. But I used to think to myself, the fans really don't like me. For the giant eats you. They expect you to do this. now you've done the job. which is like 60 miles from my hometown. Yeah. I remember going to the back thinking to myself, Jake, do you want to press charges? Yeah. She had been at home with her grandkids You wouldn't have done anything.

1:21:29 I came down the aisle. a fucking heart attack man what's going on hey guys what's going jake she fucking cut you man Come here. She died. Well, you did kick her, though. Yeah, I have more. What, 15 minutes? You know, the shots. in and you start eating a steak with polygrip and boom it breaks loose and next thing you know your No, you can't do it in wrestling.

1:24:27 said, look dude, So these people at G4, man, they finally came to us and said, look, we're going to fix you. It's hard to medicate me and put me out because I raised those levels too high. I sobered up, but see, during your sobriety period. You imagine He's got bars hold it against me man I didn't know whose fucking clothes I came back the next morning.

1:27:06 But get them fixed No doubt it's expensive. You know, because Jake the Snake has hair. for my shoulder oh my god i cry so hard at that part of that movie when they when you guys are That way you'd have I think I've got it back. not yet but i might just be biceps tendon i hope so torn off but what i'm getting at here and it's We hate this guy. This guy changed my life, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:29:50 After all the shit because, Because let me tell you something. You don't want me to hold your baby. You don't know what the fuck I am. That's hilarious. Here you got something on this hand that's going to kill you. No, no. Now, it's not really comedy. So I've got about 10 shows to do to connect with people My shit looks weak and I started to try. Oh, fuck me, man.

1:34:10 And God bless him, he should get an eye off of it. so what'd he do? sharing it yeah not just sharing it but promoting it worldwide have you ever done it no i haven't like Nimble Nuts over here I can tell. i was in chicago doing gigs a few years ago and this was after i got to see your movie when it believe you were there either. You ended up showing up.

1:36:53 Right, exactly. When you brush your teeth. of the other and available older most let more you know pro wrestlers that i had met you know I put my fucking pants on, put my feet down, and walked straight out. to connect the two buildings and i'd already went out the bottom and i was going to the car he's like Yeah, there's a goddamn huge bolt to get it out.

1:39:46 Yeah. Blood calcifies. That's fucking marvelous. I was bending the femur. So your left hip I did it for the doctor I drove. You know, there were times in my career where people were like, stop. Jamie will show you how to do it. so now you've got that back but also healthy healthy positive and then also helping people Did you write them all out? Oh, come on.

1:43:17 I've seen Mick. How dare you, sir. for three minutes you know you're a piece of shit i'm just going to use you and toss you over in the corner when Exactly, yeah. like if you plant grass grass will grow if you plant rice rice will grow and if you plant fear they throw a word out there and i just do the whole fucking interview off that word no sound for like 30 seconds.

1:46:23 Wow. out like other people probably can't. My sister being murdered and shit. And then later in life, my father was raping my sister. What the fuck's the problem? You don't ever want to believe that. I never wanted that. over it but i can deal with it now i don't have to go medicate with it you know right now when And I can tell it. What chance do I have of him getting any good attention not much i keep going back to the kid how can you tell you just feel it you know

1:50:36 in my early life about going through I had to start reading this shit. to, uh, fucking hanging. But it's one of the most disturbing characteristics of people that's even possible. What chance do you have now? Yeah. He also knew that the kids were damaged other end in a very positive way. Lapdog Because I'll tell you, man, it's a whole lot easier to pick up cocaine and forget about it

1:54:32 Because that's what we're thinking. What was ultimately the thing that I know it's going to hurt, but God damn it, about this bullshit. there's some bitch I texted him last night. There ain't no fucking diet. You can have sheep cheese and goat cheese it's completely supported. front of him and arcs that back yeah then you watch dallas do his fucking workout wait a fucking

1:57:33 I mean, just what he has in his head in terms of his vision for helping people and how he's able to see that through. People are knowing about him more and more. It doesn't really get talked about enough. Like, what does that mean, news? And in his yoga program and just how positive and You know, because it wouldn't do me any good to be in a building where there's 5,000 people

1:59:49 five or 10 people because the show's easy. That's my nut. And you can go back and chill. Because I don't want to be alone anymore, man. A woman's a great thing to have, but you can't have too much. And the double standards that we Oh, my God, you name the price. It had to be one more idea, one more goofy thing to do with a girl or one more sexual position or how many can you do in one night

2:02:56 going into the night. I mean, well, your body doesn't That's the kink. Exactly. You know, you're trying to think of somebody to get your shit going. I don't want a gal. If her penis is bigger than yours, I'll take her. You want any dating apps or anything? No, bro. I don't do that shit. No, you don't do that shit? I don't want to, man. Bring in the clowns. We're going to fix that back in one moment. Do you want any dating apps or anything?

2:04:59 I'm going to get a lot of bullshit that I don't want. a blow dryer and a brush We got to teach you Most of those bitches are fake. They're from Nigeria. the snake robert.com jake the snake roberts.com is there a contact website, man, jakethesnakerobbers.com. jakethesnakerobbers.com. Is there a contact thing on there? There it is, all bookings. Your film is fucking fantastic. Thank you. It's the resurrection of Jake the best. All right, brother. Listen, this is an awesome podcast. I really appreciate you coming in here.

2:06:36 Are you kidding me? Yeah, flew by. just did 11 packed shows uh in texas four kill tonys and five stand-up shows this week. and you somewhere else. Not just porn. Let's see where it comes.