Joe Rogan Experience #1251 — Tim Dillon Transcript

Transcript

0:00 But each individual one he paints by hand. How are you? I want you back. yeah i asked him was like what is the most compelling piece of evidence and um he said the the tablet Yeah. of people that look like they're in these flying saucer type things like they're flying through the Graham is much more in line with this theory that Dr. Robert Schock has been putting forth.

3:13 was literally raining lightning all over the world and it decimated the population of land mammals in the Nile Valley was 9,000 BC. years ago why don't mainstream scientists just go now i'm sure there's a reason for this i think Once they found that one, and they realized that it was intentionally covered up 12,000 instead of carving the animal into the stone they actually carved the stone out around the animal so these animals are like

6:08 Somebody. It's the best. Like we would, Would this have happened? but yeah for sure everybody's worried about the other groups which is fair yeah i get that there's Yeah, yeah, yeah. material and then one guy gets up and just goes fuck this and screams and yells and destroys I think it was, he wasn't in Iowa, but he was referencing Iowa. I said, I'll tell you why he's going to win.

9:30 I mean, it was a perfect polar opposite between him and her. Yeah. you know they're not accountable and a lot of these you know people that work at the cia or and they're all competing with each other they're all competing because they all want money they Yeah. Eventually, you're going to have to have it. What? Scroll down. It's probably where he keeps his chicks.

13:06 But they get billions of dollars to do whatever. insane and if any if you ask a question if you go well what do these guys do people yell at you Is it satellites? We've been studying shipping docks from space. crazy the amount of people that are doing things we have no idea what they're doing i mean 10 And it's not because they're selling crab cakes.

15:31 They're all clapping. They love it. But listen, again, two stand-up comedians talking about what the world needs. I am not right. check out my web series. they do they go by the way while you're here i have a patreon we're doing a project i'd like these guys on my podcast they come on they go they've ruined their life they spent five years Literally, it was in and out of the news cycle in a day or two.

18:31 He's the only one Yeah. that it makes sense to me that a 70-plus-year-old How often do you think he gets his dick sucked? Maybe he does. I don't know. When you're bored of that, you go to Europe, do it on a boat. Yeah, and some of them might be going to jail. and he would drive me to the school. Little links. Well, you know, it's a smaller area, Bel Air.

21:59 build things he lends his name to be franchised yeah he definitely does he's not a bit like this idea Did you watch it? It has a feel. Gold building should be for doing coke and losing money. That's what I think. for sociopaths who sacrifice human beings that's the way they want to live they want to live in a hey, you could own the Miss Universe pageant.

24:41 played you get the idea you know you're kind of being, but you're being played on a level that you accept. That's kind of with Trump. Who's coming? What happened? houses yeah he's worth like three hundred thousand dollars you know that offends people does yeah Yeah. You know what concerns me is the rise of people that think that everyone owes them something sure you know that's

27:28 You just crossed over into crazy town. I was in a bagel. We're all going to get priced out of our little shoeboxes that we live in. And they buy them not even under their real name. and so i do a show like a funny comedy show where i take i sell tickets i put people on a tour bus Really? bloomberg's like bring them in they eat shrimp and steak they'll go to peter luger's bring them in

30:21 And they're like sitting there like, what? They love the plaza. Oh, maybe. It's hard to say. Trump from name above the front door. Yeah. But a lot of his condos were sold to, you know, mafia and, you know, Russian business guys. Wow. There could be an amazing movie about him. heard it was amazing i you know the movie like a lot of people the movie was good it was not

33:32 that's the whole thing watch his When he said he fought back actors write the script. Well, that's true. You see the plot twist coming a mile away that's true i they don't want to forget 100 i've said that before nice to meet you they're like actually That's kind of what the New York scene is. nervous for them i'm like what's the plan they're getting high it's midday i'm like okay it's

35:51 But here's the thing. There's a few of those people that really don't have any talent, that's never going to catch. No, it'll never work. And then everybody resents you. There's a few of those people that really don't have any talent, but they made the right Yeah, it was on Facebook, which is where I did a lot of my best work. Which is fine. But the reason you gave

37:23 by crowdsourcing their opinions by taking the and to elevate themselves they did it but they didn't do it when it could comfortable and safe to attack louis and to bring louis down and to elevate that allows them to succeed those are the types of people also like you were talking about the actor in the you know you mean they're they're putting he goes it's it can really be a waste to get into this type of business and end up in an office writing for a show you don't care about.

39:49 shitting on his comedy, not so much his behavior, you agree or not like one of the things about the parkland thing you know when he got in trouble Right. But I think he could, I think honestly, you're dealing with, first of all, the embryo of a bit. And you know what I'm saying? That's what I love about comedy. When he goes, we had a war in the States.

42:07 You couldn't say that in an office. Yeah. I'm sure he's here either Friday or Saturday because he doesn't really do the road. there right and i was like whoa this guy's gonna be huge and for whatever reason he never left he I heard they sat that close to the TV. She told him he could stay home. It has to be so egregious. Nobody in the car would ever go, that's too much. If get rid of them they're done yeah you know that no one means that

45:26 It's cold and mean. I love the performing style. themselves a lot to talking to the crowd and being sharp and having really sharp bits yes that hit Really? Bobby and I did a lot of road gigs together. And they would have comedy hut. Where was it? And I got up, and nobody was – Something that was justified at that do gigs and i mean you wouldn't get rich but you could pay your bills and never leave town and so there was so

49:22 i do 45 minutes well Come out to Long Island. When I got out there, Eastside Comedy Club was there. shows Saturday. Four completely Peter Boyle? Good dude What the fuck man Yeah. He was fucking amazing, man. And if you're lacking or if you're a bit half done, they'll let you know. You'll hear it audibly. Did he build it out there? I don't know if he did this one he built a lot of

51:51 You go to Echo Park, they choose. Yeah, it's not. It goes back to that example of like growing up, you're making people laugh. Yep. Because I don't want to look at you anymore. and he'll like listen to those messages and go i'll do that one and he just goes and does it Or to negotiate your money or to do your air travel. Do you get when you do- Five shows on Saturday, I'll do it.

54:23 The third show's not even comedy anymore. in there. Maybe it's two. You can get something really I think it's like a 2.45 or something. You can get something crazy. Maybe it's 2.30. Maybe it's 2. What's it like? That's still there. Well, it's always a bad prom. because they have no account of the kids so the buses pull up and they're just stuffing these

56:31 Yeah, just light a fire. I made Yeah this fucking scottish power lifter guy he was like five foot ten and five foot ten wide oh interesting i saw him grab And then all of a sudden, the lights come on They were great, but it was weird. Things are always clunky. 10 years up the block and we found this doll. I'm moving to wherever he was going. and then the owner just pointed,

59:46 because everybody's get that same story people was there people go 25 years ago 25 years ago no one's seen it it's my number one that's kind of haunting No one knew he was coming. Rick Rubin produced it. What an old-fashioned heckle. And Dice is just shitting on him and shitting on everything. Because then people, if I do something bad, like, ladies and gentlemen, if you hear it and it sucks, I fucked up.

1:01:58 Yeah. The first. Yeah. Hours of no material, just rambling, talking about stuff, punchlines that don't make sense. Wow. They were so excited. that type of stuff I like. about Nixon eating ass. I was like, God, I got to listen to this fucking thing. Yeah. Him and Kinnison. we watched the kinnison special and then we watched richard pryor and my friend who was

1:05:14 and then Carlin, Yes. Yeah. And it's amazing. You're more buttoned up, you know, more of that kind of alternative crowd. he's like right right right right four to five thousand joe it's a great move it's a great move to have it was funner in the room. Oh, yeah. You know, seeing you work stuff out, seeing you in the moment. It's kind of crazy. I like a big room full of a very small amount of people.

1:09:28 It's some kind of I was an actor I knew it great Yeah, I pointed at the TV and said, take me on auditions. and, That live performance till much later it's all your shit you're writing it you're figuring out how to say it yeah you're What's the pacing? So being on. But a lot of what I do has to be like, how does it sound? What's the inflection? What's the pacing?

1:11:30 like perplexed by or i think is funny i can devote attention and energy into making that that's a bad, and you were talking about it earlier, like, I know a few guys, like Owen as he's got a real career as a writer you know he's trying to branch out and move away from that Yeah. Right. Now I don't have to worry about paying my bills. It's a nice's a nice thing and it was a great group of people that i work with

1:13:53 That everyone will have a take on. gets bland and some of them take these big moral stands and it's like well you're making a crazy i won't work this venue because this person worked there it's like that's in that's good you know Depends on whose definition. Well, that's where we come in. That's fine. But with me, I'm like, isn't it 4 a.m.? Sometimes the material is not good.

1:16:12 and they're going to be the last and we're going to explain to them we're going to go Sometimes you don't find the beats. but I've been like, in front of a live crowd, too. It's like waving a steak in front of a junkyard dog, and you keep tossing them little bits, i think before he got elected i think he was having high level meetings with people in the

1:18:06 That was horrible. Does he go back to The Apprentice? thing i used to do the show red eye on fox news which was comics would just try to be funny yeah she could feel it daytime TV queen changing your image yeah her shirts her skirts got longer oh yeah she covered her neck or yeah The people that did not like her Well I didn't know any better Well, he shouldn't have fucked you because he was married.

1:20:02 Is that what it is? you know, in each other's coffins. They all hate each other. Oh, yeah. That's a lot. You know? Like he offered her 37 million. He tried to have his ex-wife excommunicated from the church. A church? Oh, yeah, because people dig in. He's a good man. I love that. they wear religion Good enough. What do you think that will do? It was falling out to the point where like, this is just a mess.

1:23:47 He would... That would complete his transformation into a supervillain. But even then, you got to talk to them while they're putting it together? I get that vibe I hope he goes right Yeah This is three hours He does not like to be made fun of and he went after her but she kept right back at him and she wrote i i bet you'd be on my side if um you were disgusting representation of this country she'll tweet this

1:25:54 They have dog, like his biggest fans, not just people that voted for him, the people that are still in love with him. They all have the flag. What are they? my aunt on Long Island? She's coming on the podcast soon. after we're done here a demonstration to just show discord they would organize both of them. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They organized. To just sow discord.

1:27:16 And then they would have other people that were like pro Bernie. I think we fuck with their social media, too. Yeah, there's 100% a real thing going on creating memes. against the United States. You can make things happen now. Jesse Smollett is Russian. No, I'm sure it's people that are... What do you think happens with Jussie Smollett? I thought he was getting written out before.

1:29:18 Yeah. The people at the hotel should have been ain't great but if it's like two o'clock in the morning it's the only thing open why is it With the mozzarella That's a good move a meatball, but then I saw that actor Because they're on another level. In our business, it's just a lot of currency. You know what I mean? Like, no, they would look at my face and go, yeah, okay, good.

1:31:42 I think it was cum. I sent it to my buddy and you can see the insanity he was going to inform on two guys if there were two white guys with mega hats who got caught oh Dude, there would be people in jail right now. Got them. That's why people in Ohio, whenever Hollywood's like, here's how to vote, they go, you know what? What kind of hate crime would you fake if you were going to do it?

1:33:44 They fake things like that. Press conference, whole deal. I'm one of those people who would get, or he hit himself. you're getting bleach poured on you. So they asked him, good morning, America. remember there was a recent one people were saying that his son did it yeah yeah my mother always They talked about bombing a ship. Yeah. Well, they look for it in everything.

1:36:49 Yes. I love the idea of the CIA going and watching sets and be like, who's getting passed at Yes. The CIA, the Rand Corp was all over there. The CIA was like, they were like, no, it's Mr. Tambourine. It was the cia was like they were like no it's mr tambourine it was like a cia guy gonna be like it's tambourine man Yeah, yeah. And in that book by like Dan Rather

1:38:52 jfk was did you know that no he called him he called the fbi in houston hey he said what's up for the agency for a very long time. And he was made the director of the agency for one year after after the cia just admitted to all these horrible things they called him a lightweight yeah they at this very interesting time in history I'm telling you. I need some Edward Snowden.

1:41:07 If you read a chapter of this. I'll read the first chapter, I promise. And I get it. No, but that sounds amazing. No, what is fake? They want to go to space is fake. Yeah yeah you want to know what's really up space is fake space is fake yeah crazy well i mean i think there are hundreds of thousands of people that think that Well, he's the one that came up to me about-

1:43:18 The fires started near my fucking house. They made the wind. They've always made the wind. Because there's horrible things going on. And real. Yeah, all of that stuff, dude. If you have an island and you're hanging out with Bill Clinton, there's a problem. They'll probably just let him, you know. gone unknown for a very long time including the coup in iran sure so a guy like jeffrey epstein

1:45:32 Yeah. debating right private prisons are ruined kids are being sold into slavery. Right. How about that judge in Pennsylvania? It's undeniable. Right. What is the YouTube gonna do? Now, were they communicating to try to share child porn or were they communicating to molest that's not good you're causing that happened in that r kelly case there's a video of him doing

1:49:09 about ads showing up next to problematic content from terror or hate groups and videos that seem Yeah. where like these child pedophile rings yeah they can figure out a way to snuff all that out. They're all wealthy? It's like you go on vacation versus me going on vacation're a rich pedophile, it's a nicer experience. It's like you go on vacation No?

1:51:03 like child molesters I was raised Catholic. It's five fishes once a year. yeah Catholic suicide bombers ready set go I don't know what's going on in them. there's some there's some positive things to a good church and that's how those rock and roll that was the answer want the hip work you know She's like, I'm going to be celibate. She was having a good time.

1:53:46 You know, the Catholic, I think it's interesting people that join the Catholic religion now. Well, that makes sense. Of course. Mitt Romney's family all moved to Mexico. Who gives a fuck? They're like, I could have nine wives over here. So they have these compounds. They still have a fucking, they still have a compound down there. That's amazing. No, it's illegal.

1:55:33 There was a show called like Sister Wives or something. Maybe it's like legal in like Nebraska or some shit. Marry everything. We'll just move to Mexico. As a polygamous community crumbles, sister wives are forced from homes. You don't think of nine horrible wives. But. You don't think of nine horrible wives. You just can't register in the courthouse.

1:57:09 Yeah. I want to come out for it on this show. want to marry a guy with 18 of your friends who gives a shit yeah i guess the problem is the that was an interesting thing. Trump supporter. was he what was he doing he was somewhere thinking this is it yeah she's fucked a lot of people that Solid mil? If you're fucking, you know, he's like Daddy like daddy warbucks yeah he's the guy he's the guy

1:59:29 This is your new job. What do you mean? Good Lord. Well, I don't think it was billions. The country was new. tech is the closest thing those guys were, And one of them said it's really ironic that Apple used to be think different. You have to believe what everyone else believes, outcry so to me they're not they don't have any real values their values are tangible and the

2:02:23 you know generation of people who will their their amount of power is unmatched anywhere in society. They're investing in all these different things. Did you see that article that someone wrote about that? Well, he knows that he's an addict. He'd be checking social media constantly. six months the last six months i've made a giant giant shift away from uh reading things and posting

2:04:33 to better optimize my time, Yeah. Five hours. But it's like finding, I found that like finding the perfect blend seems to be letting the stories get so big that they get to you anyway. yeah because then everyone could make jokes right but the three days before that everyone is Absolutely. No, he didn't. He's going to take his own life. Now, here's the other thing.

2:06:43 God damn it. Absolutely. then now i look like an idiot yeah you, you can't go on a limb. Yeah. And, you know, the first image, which is even crazier, was put up by a troll account. A few shady social media posts fed a viral firestorm over Covington Catholic and why it will happen again. Yeah. Tim J. Dillon on Instagram and Twitter D I L L O N attacks me on the way

2:09:01 Tim Dillon ladies and