Joe Rogan Experience #1269 — Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 five four three two one buttoned down about his stuff he's just always coming up with ideas and yeah i don't think i And I like hanging with my boys and laughing. It's normal. It's so interesting you say that. i'm so french No, I mean, I used to speak it. The dating pool in France. You know, you go to the comedy store, like a comedy club that's been around since the 70s.

3:46 Yes. Yeah, good leather. Craftsmanship. The problem with jewelry, watches, nice shoes, and everything is I have to maintain them. I need some rubber, bro. You don't need that much pivot. It's never gonna end well the fucked And now Brian, or Robert Shock, rather, who's a professor at Boston University. it might have coincided these impacts might have coincided with

7:17 Jesus. Oh, wow. Why, I guess it just wasn't our time now. on the podcast it was great yeah well it's michael schirmer who's actually a friend of mine who i they have dated back to 12 500 years ago yeah but people have a hard time believing in doomsday happens before the singularity for example happens is too much to bear it would make no sense for us

11:40 the french existentialist and sart and all those guys, they were saying, like Camus said, you know, you just glom onto a certain philosophy that gives you hope. The concept of reincarnation. Now, here's what fucks with me. I love our circle of friends is amazing. I've made a fuckload of mistakes. We make mistakes with our personal life. assess yourself and see where you're falling short and then just change your approach yeah so that's kind of what i did when i saw acting when i saw what just being an actor was and i saw how

14:34 Because I was doing the wrong thing over here. grind i'm a grinder it's not just grind like for me the idea is original self-expression i'm He said, criticized by creating. Listen, this is not about promoting my special. You can get it on iTunes. You know, Amazon is really getting into the special game. I love that guy. network now the the internet and everything else and What's beautiful about the road now is I don't have to do that local press.

16:57 Kansas City's fun. Really? It's one of those places that people forget. No, St. Louis I had a little problem with, but Kansas City, fantastic. well not even the first time one of the times i was in pittsburgh i was there for a furry convention were asking for their food in bowls It might have been Duncan. you run into some real problems and i was talking to a guy who was telling me that you don't know

19:42 Now, I want to say this about him When you're letting a 6'4 man compete in women's weightlifting whole idea of complicated apes is that this is your your new special this is our new special That's amazing. can't i can't tailor my life and my entire corporation this is what the part of the problem all those women. So he decided to identify as a woman.

22:32 And he's so jacked. Look what he just did. Shout out to Zuby. Free thinker. Zuby follows me, and now I follow him. An all-right influencer, yeah. I want free college But I think these people are too compassionate. Yeah. I think she might have said anti-Israeli stuff, which I think you can make a distinction yes you should be able to i think you should be

25:13 What were you saying about the problem? people who are saying that it's their religion that they think that this is this is wrong and organize and express yourself organize and petition your government that's constitutional of racism i happen to think we could be as identical as penguins and we'd still find The Dinka and the Nua of the Sudan, sworn enemies, they look exactly the same.

27:56 And then you surround yourself with people who think and see the world exactly like yourself. that we need like here's one you need a well-funded fire department right Yeah. We don't. You know, I don't want spree shooters, you know, but when you get down to it and you The ability that someone has to do what... But my point is that you have relatively speaking the number of mass shootings is incredibly small in comparison to the amount

31:32 A lot of it is people defending themselves. It's all – communist society the people closest to the government making the decisions they become Of course they do. crazy he is which is my command of philosophy but he makes it so accessible yeah like jimmy will start his day with philosophize And he hadn't eaten He was forgetting stories in the middle of the first sentence

34:31 he had tuberculosis and it laid dormant you have either a fatal disease, which is that lung disease, or you have lung cancer. Okay, And he was getting ready for them to come out and tell him what it was. We found out what you have. And he went colorblind. But I've never seen anybody face his own death and be that just monk-like about it. nine months of a very strong cocktail

37:15 In Long Day's Journey Into Night, the great play and Nobel Prize winner, up a history book or a piece of literature, anything that's written before 1950, which most attacked people with really good immune systems. That's a unequivocal Why is it these guys never have a degree? That's right. Ben Goldacre, you ever have him on his podcast? infection she got at the gym she started having seizures i'm at sushi with frank grillo our buddy

41:07 I mean, I'm like, dude, He goes, now. I go, that's not a spider bite, bro. they had to cut an inch off of his shin bone because the screws. Oh, God. Just a little cold. remember this shitty feeling when you can't even exercise and i'm hawking up green shit and spitting Most of the time I am. He's amazing. Man, Joe's being mean to me. You should have an ice bath.

44:32 On it has the bullshit one. Come sit in an ice bath for 20 minutes and talk to me. Yeah, I have. I just double burned him now. Ice baths, they recommend you not work out. First of all, I supplement. They have, it's a great whole food supplement. I take these little packs with me on the road. Yeah. Me too. and I got to give a shout out to Dan Garner.

47:15 I want to promote him because he's, who you know. So how the gut affects psoriasis. like bacteria that shouldn't be there. Now it's something I'll have to manage. kind of a reset well that's why intermittent fasting. That's my question. Like I think the Maasai traditionally were. Yeah. I mean, in terms of the effect on their And he said, dude, I could, I was so embarrassed.

51:10 They have the best athletic genes. Grillo on Fight World did, he went to Senegal. There you go. Athletic as fuck. Sangalese Wrestling in Dakar Championship. Yeah. I mean, Frank went there. No, no, you'll see. Because they're waiting Excuse me They're punching from the clinch Time Hold And you're really into it Okay, let's see another one. Who is this kickboxing world champion?

54:08 Who is this kickboxing world? Oraline. There we go. Oh so they're wrestling There we go That's smart. coming up if you want to get into MMA? But he's been watching how your body moves forever. before some of his fights because he goes down She thinks it's hilarious. in the way he describes it when he gets inside the cage a switch gets flipped yeah and he

57:27 you don't think it's online how much you want to bet this is the line we cross right there i guess He's an animal. Yeah. And then there's horse I think he's such a contender I don't know what Yeah. with joey diaz masvidal is gonna come on with joey diaz get a little but may also be able to I remember him knocking out Eve Edwards in Bodog fight. put the stop on this thriving business right and a lot of these companies like there was professional

1:01:09 I think that's the issue. Let's see what Tyron looks like when he gets into the cage. He is also in the middle of uh he's in a transitionary stage Yeah, he's 36. Good. He would be a great commentator if he decided to get into commentary. That's such a weapon. and he poured the gas on, just poured the gas on, that there are a lot of guys like that where you just don't judge a book by its cover you'll go to

1:04:17 real. That's not real. He has no calves. What are you talking about? From a guy that does photoshop every single day. I need to get on TOT. you know all it's interesting when i see people criticizing that kick i'm like you're crazy I mean, I get it. That's a brutal sport, man. You also get hit in practice though. when he moved to He's in crazy shape.

1:07:31 He made a mistake, but it's hard to say the head and you think you're unconscious yeah then stop the fight but if it's just a choke Yeah. fight again do you think they will i think they want to that's what dana white said but ben said Well, even more importantly. Yeah. They do sometimes. But what I was going to say is that to see it. They don't do enough of that in USC. They do sometimes.

1:09:46 no love no respect no nothing it's incredible no talk about him fighting dc again you know they're because well so John Jones is The only man he's ever lost to was Jon Jones. I'd like to see DC fight Jon Jones at heavyweight. But he might not beat Brock. and working on patterns and really working on your striking you get into the ring with a guy like

1:12:03 Brock is also the WWE champ, bro. I'm putting all my money on DC. giant human yeah ridiculous fists the the real question is i mean how much has he really been Like the great fighters that I notice are guys who they come in with a game plan. Or a lot of people can't see it. Yeah. I'm looking forward to getting on a TRT. 100%. You won't have as much energy.

1:14:35 Right now, they can't. David Sinclair. What is NMN? the best sign of whether Yeah. Yeah, when he told me about it, I don't listen to him the end of existing chromosomes. Gives me a lot of energy. All right, well, go ahead. I'm good. You want to look at something like that? And Sinclair was talking about this. I think that's real where you can and why we sleep he was talking about it but also um my friend has that gene

1:18:54 discovered the mutation of the gene DEC2 in a family of natural short sleepers, I don't believe that discipline and self-control last only so long. Yes. I didn't know he was that big. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. Jocko's a tank. Oh, I 240 pound serial killer. Oh, is he that thick? I didn't know he was that big. He's a gorilla. Yeah, he is. Look at him. No it's not him

1:19:55 Don't you want to be like us Did you cook them My boy Tariq has got it locked down. Jake Shields' buddy? Where is it? Why are you running with a gun, though, dude? It seems like you're dancing with it. It just happens? I only caught off one shot. Well, they get smart. You've got to really put in the work. One of the coolest things about elk hunting is they fucking scream.

1:22:48 off the other males and you hear their their horns clashing against each other because their antlers i do too it's when i say i eat a lot of dude i'm eating this dark red protein that's good for it's if i learned how to fish but fishing is technique which i didn't know i grew up fishing oh you did out, and then you give it a twitch. reeling them in on her own man i mean all i had to do is hold the rod because it literally would

1:26:08 like no she had two hands on it going just cranking and i'm holding on to it and she she made sure she You know what we should do? Just have a good time. Wow. The mosquitoes. i wanted to be a naturalist yeah right i love that story about the ants oh dude fuck forget the ants I love fishing. So nice. Yeah. I mean, that's fucking nuts. Stuff the llama in there.

1:29:22 And they were like looking up. oh, And they just hear this terrified of i'm terrified i don't want to So what happens when, what are you supposed to do when a grizzly? but that's assuming you can survive that she's probably going to break your arms she's probably fuck out of there right but like yellowstone they haven't hunt grizzlies there in forever

1:31:56 They move so fast. I mean, it's a giant animal, man. and it was attacking the guide Jesus. Well, they killed an elk. When we went on that hunt? I have a huge problem with that. bears know not to fuck that you. That's exactly right. It's so much fun. Zero? No, I like that one. He's the best. If you have a bad coach, you'll develop bad technique, And they have a good mentality for it. But they would be way better if they were with Firas Ahabi.

1:35:22 He changed my archery so much that like i had been But just little things like that, or my buddy Tarek, Damn, it makes such a huge difference. that i stumbled into j kim taekwondo institute in boston was one of the best gyms on earth yeah i just got super I mean, your swing and your positioning, she ingrains those fundamentals so that you can't do it wrong.

1:38:09 Virgil Hill. Look that up. Like, if you listen to Virgil Hunter, But he's a guy who, like, Yeah. I want to see Earl Spence and Mr. Crawford go at it. They're basically the same size. It's so weird. Duran could do that. He'd just be like, I know what you're going to do. I mean, all these guys, these killers. I try to move around with Wayne McCullough,

1:41:56 doing standup like a year and you see them going on in front of a crowd and you see them difficult things where you can see incremental improvement that's that's based on your effort fuck does that look like yeah well i'm gonna write about that'm going to write about not, my life has been either a fight Moccasins are really good for stalking. That's the only time.

1:44:13 the indigenous people of Indonesia, You got leeches. You got spiders. They didn't worry about cooties, I'd hunt with bare feet. You got leeches. Fuck, man. One time I brought him to the doctor. his face has got it growing a basketball off the side of it that's what happened to my dog Wow. by a wasp or something i didn't know and then i was like this this she i was like i think she got

1:46:32 if they bite a snake, Yeah. And this lifeless rabbit is being dragged away Three years ago, four years ago. So this thing, look at this. It's creepy. it's just a gross little animal. but the problem is, Yeah, that's right. she knew that she couldn't fight it the kid just grabbed the snake by the head and walked it away When I lived in Florida, I was always worried

1:49:42 Everglades they got a couple of Niles out there. This is the kid. Is that a Python? This is a setup. Expertly. i've ever been in my life but i saw a lie. But I saw a wild battle. It's ridiculous. I don't do it. Wait a minute. In terms of breathtaking. Antelope, shit like that. you what that would be you'd go to a game reserve which is probably uh a cattle uh an abandoned

1:52:27 what do you got Jerry? a photorealistic picture other things. I agree that that's kind of what a lot of creativity is innovation is a form of destruction yes and and so destroying ideas yeah but like It changes in many ways your perspective. the state it puts you in is so incredible because it gets you to forget momentarily about your own music or it can happen when you're making great music.

1:56:48 companion and we're laughing and being silly geese for no other reason there's a flow to that oh yeah they were all a disaster but they thought deeply they have concepts they have concepts and oftentimes getting drunk and saying And we get 5 million views. Well, how do you? And Eddie is legitimately crazy, too. I'm like, what does that mean? Oh, he's awesome.

1:59:40 But his unique way of thinking, his creativity, is what allowed him to formulate that system. you people all of us have that yeah well he does that Tinfoil Hat podcast too Yeah, I love Sam. And the camaraderie that we all have, we all protect each other and look out for each other and support each other. We're insanely fortunate in our circle of friends. I know. Insanely fortunate.

2:01:09 something goes on like brad pitt had a real struggle that he married a crazy lady yeah i agree but i also think that you and i were supposed to do stand-up like a guy who makes Now, Daniel Day-Lewis and Christian Bale are supposed to be actors. and it came all the way down to my knee you tackle me it's like jimmy burke when i showed up after a good looking actor

2:03:21 smoke a dube, It's busy. If you wear a fucking beret, I'm going to throw you in a flying headlock even if you're brock lesnar if So what's stopping you? Yeah, I like that. Life inside the brain because of the marijuana. Like out of the bottle, you mean? Oh sorry I'm here I'll be in... Well, Where does this come from? At what point in time does a boy band ever get to a point where they're like, okay, we

2:06:31 No. Oh, you're going to put the whiskey in there. Who invented whiskey? Is that your... Famous... Is he dying? Did he just... We're all gone, brother. I do Sam Harris's... Cancer and Parkinson's, it says. I love it without fail, the value of it Yeah, so did Yuval Harari, who wrote Sapiens. Like, one of them is running. thing i worry about is like cats like mountain lions and shit i do worry about him meeting people. He would just be kissing them. The only thing I worry about is cats, mountain lions and shit.

2:10:42 And then I get to the top and I have to catch my breath. And how much of that could be avoided? But again, people go to war. of like one world like one group that runs all the countries on the whole planet like that's too crazy right that judge lee kwan you talked about that he goes yeah we hang about seven people a year sad it's terrible Yeah, man.

2:14:48 You wore those animals. and fucking you up while you slept. That's right. That was life. about selling someone's children. in the high seas so if you were a british naval you know ship even if the ottoman if there was a So we were 1865. It used to, when I was a kid, What? Whoa. fugitive slaves and and people who you know who used to be and if you read that book man

2:18:58 And they had slave brokers who would come in and go, look, your plantation is in debt. is crazy can't have slavery how crazy is it that wasn't 200 years ago i know i know that wasn't It's real. rock solid for generation after gen wait a. How long has it been around? I know. Wait a minute. Hold on. Okay. It didn't really take hold till Yeah. It was usually the priests.

2:22:10 It was like the internet. I've never been there. Oh, my God. What if I just have the Bible and I do what Jesus said because I can read it right here? Rome had armies. now yeah of course you are i'm marijuana i'm sorry but what was what was that you gave me Like a nice shoe. You can buy it everywhere. God, what? No one's going to count them all. He's hilarious.

2:25:46 It's a music. Sebastian is in his zone. That's nuts. That's in a way why I still have faith in the American system. Old school Italian discipline, man. You've got to have him. I told him today on the podcast he did, Nah, I just decided I got tired of it. could have done that better god damn it why did i do it like this like fuck what is that about you ever read martha graham's letter the great the mother of modern dance she wrote a letter to

2:29:16 a she's a giant she's an innovator she's a giant there'd be when you think of dance she might be You don't even have to believe in yourself or your work. She was doing this. Bro, this is how I dance if I really hurt my back. of the time in which it's performed in like there are little windows in time to how people behaved jewish fellow with beautiful hair yeah and he just had a look just he was disturbing his comedy shook people up. Yeah, but it was there was no

2:32:41 more they sort of figure out patterns of behavior that are damn see if you could find that she had to go Damn. He's a killer, man. But he won't take limos. There was only maybe 100 people in the room. They'll yank us off the fucking of martial arts you would rather be a better I don't have to make it. That's why I did it. no desire look at that giving up martial arts for nothing no no way no it helps me so much it's so it's so important for me

2:37:16 Well, the lineup just got announced, and day two has got Gary Clark, Sturgill, and the Jesus. not like stuff goes away right you bring back old donna summer shit you know like dude i i have um You go back in time when you listen to that. I've heard the songs. so crazy we come from the land of the ice and snow with the midnight sun and the hot springs

2:39:42 but in a lot of cases, there's a lot of people contributing to the song you know the drummer has an idea and the singer still are taking something that doesn't belong to you you definitely are and so in my opinion you have to buy that from who apparently was wearing the blouses or dresses He always wore girl shirts that were too small for him. with a high voice.

2:41:39 That's amazing. Look at that one. What? You were literally like a king. about the beatles obviously acbc yeah yeah you got all sorts of shit. You got a lot going on back then. Of course, you have Hendrix. Wasn't there some weird shit that went on with that family? Your music's going to die. Lou Reed was always... He had already written those songs that got him there, you know?

2:44:24 He said, I'm a great writer, but I don't remember writing Cujo yeah my alcohol didn't fact it was a coincidence he was doing coke just a coincidence he was drunk no i think i don't think I'll tell you what kind of person. I'm not saying that. And that becomes the best scene in a Stephen King book. Oh, no way. definitely not. That guy's always good.

2:47:02 Thank you for, Yeah. I don't know what you put in this stuff. All right, sir. Yeah. No. You and me Bye everybody