Joe Rogan Experience #1270 — Lenny Clarke Transcript

Transcript

0:00 five four three two one And you did too. So you'd be in the middle of this punchline. go anywhere within like an hour two hours outside the city and work basically every weekend yeah Cash. well you might have been the only guy everybody else got hamstringed yeah noxie got killed kenny Just this? And I played Rosie O'Donnell's love interest Wow And the show got cancelled

2:47 Someone behind canceled for that. doing time. we do every year. and we've been in touch It's supposed to be beautiful. well thank God yeah a lot of at the Pentagon guard, marine or whatever, He's got somebody else's heart inside of him. Why do I have to do all this stuff? because he had this crazy pump that would just circle the blood, but there was no dun-dun-dun-dun.

5:12 In a monster movie. oh my god he goes what he goes you feel okay I feel great your heart is beating 283 beats a minute I go, if I don't have this job, I don't want to live. are you there is no future oh jesus Terminator? They finally did the ablation On the table And puts it up to his chest It's really creepy. But I didn't know. He goes you'd have to do

7:15 Well that fucking whole crew I was very fortunate that I It took me two days to score. How much is an ounce of blow? i had it everywhere yeah i remember the girl said lenny you have to decide whether it's a coke or Okay. Yeah. So I put him through the wall and took a door off the hinges. He said, you want to get real happy? And the guy didn't know me.

9:54 We go, freak. Just listen, listen, listen. Phil Barano. I go, you can be my sponsor. 23 years. Had that feel to it There was a thing about if you weren't good you suck tonight get off You've done that. That blows. I'd go, Len, we've got to get this show over. The first night I'll double your pay. He just got laid off in Polaroid. You go through the kitchen and do a show in the back room.

13:26 Fuck you. We're doing lines. They locked me in the cooler. We were doing six shows a night. Three in the because they took all the booze. He would do like, what, 10, 15 minutes or something closer. I'm going, hey man, if I host it, I can do lines and smoke smoke in between the guys. Yeah. I mean, you know, there were different, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

15:42 You know what I mean? They were smarter Yeah my first time you know fucking lying yeah he goes we're not off to a good start right and like it He goes, really? friends billionaire not millionaires billionaire friends really yeah and i i think i'm like that More money than you could spend. that's the way to go yeah even if you were a comic you'd rather just do clubs just show up and do

18:18 It keeps me open. you know, but you can't. Oh. I'm working with Nick. It was just like that. Yeah. It's just like so crazy. Yeah. Brilliant joke, right? He was handsome, great. It's just brilliant. back cod we're playing my brothers and on the episode every they beat the fuck out of me we He goes, yeah, unbeknownst to Dieter, and he made a deal with the producer and the showrunner.

22:03 And she's like, well, I already hired my friend. The network wants him. the show great i love him i love that guy to. You know, I enjoy when you hear stories about people remembering where they came from and they help people out. Oh, it's interesting. Altman and he's the host and I and he walks off and I go, I'll do it. Well, that's great yeah, yeah,

24:10 And they go, what's he written? And we drive to my place in Marina del Rey. He goes, Lenny. And we put my parking space at the top of the roof. You shouldn't even have So we go down they might want to nap when you're done Oh, God. What was the star agency? But I think Seinfeld, when I popped, when I got Lenny, and I was making all sorts of money, So I got screwed

26:15 Yeah, Is that guy still in the business? I was so pissed And I said, I really love working with you, Mr. Diller. weekly salary. I mean, it was a lot of money. It was like over 2 million bucks. And I was going to la to try and salvage you know the career you know because i mean this is another network that i'm no and this horse with a buckboard goes out of control.

28:51 Did they get that on tape? How about when I'm at, We think you're a great actor. Can you act? So I read it. Like that's going to'll never do that again. So I read. I'm ready. I go, yeah. What does it say? I said, well, that was quick. There's no justice. I make them believe I'm having fun with you. You're done in this town. And you're like, oh, look at her.

32:16 no nobody feels sorry for those guys at all not even for a second a guy that fucks a lady who's changed you know i bet it's changed quite a bit well recently joe i gave louis a shot at the club He calls me. Right, but what is the backlash, though? I give him a big hug. That's what I told him. My shirt's pretty expensive. I had a conversation with him about it.

35:16 anyone but he's not a bad guy no he's a good guy he's not a rapist he's not a sexual predator He would probably be fine and there's definitely bad men, while she was fucking a 17 year old right that she was she played his mom in a movie 10 years ago when someone's perception of something as 100 the actual event that happened without any other evidence it's kind of crazy i mean i don't

37:52 Everyone deserves a second chance. He's just trying to get his life back. maybe one or two ever they're always clunky and sometimes you have ideas you're like why the fuck stage i'm constantly thinking oh don't go there don't do that don't cross that line because some fucking said that. No, you idiot. You know? But I mean, and I turned on the crowd

40:28 It took me an hour and a half just to get them back. He's attacking us. I was doing and this guy just and I went up And right after your brother gave me the worst advice. clean it up a bit don't change a thing when I started doing comedy People I thought were really good and admired. You think so? Unless they become good. And after that, like, okay, what do you got?

43:25 He has the theater in Branson. But those YouTube guys, they have a shortcut, right? It would be him and Donnell and Bill Burr, and they would do these shows together. I did a 22-show tour with him. and he had only been doing comedy for two years, and A lot. And we're working down south someplace, and did Carson's monologue I said, man, you stole my joke?

46:02 Well, you know, back in the day, in the Catskills times times they all stole like there was there was no honor amongst thieves back then and everyone just People know now. oh, my God, Sweeney was just, he was a guy. He goes, that's what you saw last night. I went on at the Ding Ho's, Springfield Street Saloon. he says, And I sucked for months. Oh, yeah.

48:46 was so good to me and I used to take him out to tell you what you did right bit 10 times better. I thought he was taping, talking into a microphone. I said, what do you mean you guess it's good? She goes, that's why Heinz makes 57 varieties. hey, Lenny, I turn around. So they bring a phone out to the pool. Got to be friends with a good guy. Where is he?

51:20 I go, what? And I go, don't do what I do. And he's just very aware that the audience can get numb to that word, where it doesn't mean anything. They're like, that fucking guy with the fucking thing. And I went, yeah. Yeah. Well, he needs it, you know. And he never put out a special. He goes, why would I do that? That's just respect. In my mind, I'm going, follow that fucker.

54:46 Yeah. But here's the thing. It's a waste of time to worry about something you don't like because obviously other people like it. There's no room. That's nice. And it's, oh, you can't say that? I just, oh yeah. You know it works. You had the Comedy at the Charles, up the theater above. It was crazy. Okay. up on stage. Through the dressing room. There's no other place like that.

57:50 Yeah. but I think I attribute that on and catch. And finally, some, like, Belzer was good to me, and even Piscopo gave me a break, and some other guys. I feel like I just caught this wave. He had a ton of incredible body of work. So he said something. They had a bus. And they broke us up. And we made up. A nice, You know, to buy food. I spend it. And then I moved out here in 94.

1:01:36 Yeah, it was Fox. Jim Brewer was in the pilot. from that to news radio which was like the polar opposite that was just And I think I took like four or five lessons with this lady. And he says, I'm a big tree. And I go, all right, that's it. They all fucking quit. And it's just like stand-up but easier. doing a sitcom, Oh my God. I go, you know, I was into disco.

1:04:43 It was fun. They come and they said, we want you to open for us. And I'm listening to this. So I go back, and they're all no, you go on the stage door. I didn't even know they had a stage door. So I go back and they're all, And bottles are smashing all around me, right? hit me right in the nuts! a couple grand so I go back with us you learn from your mistakes

1:06:36 I worked with Roy Orbison I gotta go to and I go up there I'm like a bear. Oh, my God. I'll be right back. So I do the show. Great Roy. He says, you're the comedian? I said, yeah. He goes, they're bringing you on stage. Oh, my God. You have some blow? Oh, man. Yeah, I was a young guy, you know, They climbed up and they took the Maybe she didn't want a comedian.

1:08:43 I had a buddy of mine who was in love with her. Tell him he wasted his time. for Metallica? Because he's a big Metallica fan. He's brilliant. He just wants to make a living, He took the wife and kids over to go on a safari. No, no, I don't mind the lions. I don't think that works. So it's not just me HIV Isn't that how the AIDS thing started? cleaning the monkey

1:10:52 bush meat shoot monkeys No one has a bush anymore. because it makes me feel younger. Yeah, Bush. Don't be hard on yourself. I just think it's more difficult to transmit, which is one of the reasons why men typically We'll give you a nice handbag to keep your bush clippings in. too. Is there a radio in Boston anymore? He helped me an awful lot. I said,

1:13:33 you know, And I really appreciated his help, I went to see him two weeks before he died. He said, no. What happened? That's crazy. Yeah, I did that show. and I said, I will drop 100 pounds and fight Matty Siegel for children's cancer. it got really crazy and I said I mean sometimes people I didn't know you were really because I've been sued a few times.

1:16:09 And I'd see guys slam him, and he'd just turn and look. No. You make horrible decisions when you're in a rage. You don't see things. If you're emotional, you lose all track of what's happening He'd only been here And for the first 30 seconds I said, no problem. Yeah, yeah We would always have to check people's bags of employees yeah, That was his dream.

1:19:43 because i was competing at the time, too. I'm like, fuck, if Larry's punching people, I'm not That was my last day on the job. I saw Kinison. Saw his hog We shot this movie with Smokin' Top a man's dick before? Hey, you happy now? He goes, I'm telling you. do I got lost he goes I tried to tell you well back then they had like California weed today I'd swim.

1:22:46 You had to hide it Like if people found out Even if you were working every day Even if you showed up on time if you were a pot smoker But Rodney, those days of the bathrobe days were his best days. So I said, hey, Rodney. We took the train down. He goes, I'm drinking now. So I went on, and I fucking burnt it down. Rodney goes, who wants to go first? I do. So I went on

1:24:52 And Rodney's in the bathrobe, He's in the bathrobe. and everybody goes so you saw Hicks I saw him at Nick's But I mean it was same because it's not like everybody's up for a limited amount of slots on like an It's a different vibe. I said, look, if one of us makes it, from L.A. to, I'd come out here and make going away. And that's why I had to go from LA.

1:26:58 Yeah. so i flew back and forth from boston and they had me working everywhere, and I'd make enough money to live out here. Tony V. Well, guys would murder. Oh, dude, everyone was ruthless. And then they would occasionally at Nick's. And they'd have to follow these guys. and Gav goes, I go, listen, I'm telling you, with him and he says i never forget what you did in boston for me he was so nice to me you know and

1:29:50 And he had these long pauses Go which I bet he got most of the time on the road. because they were all giant dudes. do you remember so these kids come in And puts those guys down. Come back and Upstairs was a show with, I don't know, transvestites. freezing their ass off, who's Lenny Clark? come with me. Jesus Christ. These are a group of fucking animals.

1:32:23 Maybe he doesn't have a radio. Maybe he doesn't have TV. I'm sure he was innocent. Oh, yeah. Of course. Whatever happened, he probably? Sorry. Sorry. Maybe he doesn't have a radio. My first gig down in Florida, I did a place in Sarasota. Then I got whacked out and went to Tampa to see Jackie the Joke Man. and booze in a car And there was no GPS. how to get there.

1:33:37 I did the lodge. Can I go to high school with a male stripper? This is bad. You know Ask when you get there That's a lot of fucking traffic. I said, oh my god. up all fucked up and you know i got him some blow and he went on stage This is my big money gig. down and by the end of the night they had hired him to come back to do the back room at the Paradise. Wow. And it was off and running.

1:36:14 And, I mean, everybody comes out to see the show. But we're in the room, and I'm lying on this side of the bed. That's huge man Sam and he's putting on his He goes, This is today's show. all those assholes. I mean, you know, but he was fearless. And then all of a sudden was fearless. Listen, you know, all these documentaries about him and stuff I mean, so one night we were up.

1:39:27 So Sam goes, and he never gets up Tampa lost every game And one of them Not do the rest you pussies And we're supposed to take a 7 o'clock flight. it's a makeup show and he says so I go on And I look over, and he's on an oxygen tank with a mask. and so we're in there everyone's wild man he's a big star you know i mean people can't believe it Got an extra cookie from the Doubletree.

1:42:06 I don't know. what, but it looked like His head was broken. They cooked his brain. It's enough. wait a minute. It was insane. Before him, it was people telling jokes but And they're all lined. You know Someone in your life And I want you to get home wherever we were. Really? Yeah, yeah. And so the cops come, and he goes, Lenny, take care of it. So I go down.

1:46:00 And they have Polaroids. He's the example that I always give to comics of a guy who was at one point in time one of the best ever. that's how long ago early in the morning and Sam would have her say that every... I don't know if she's, is she still doing comedy? Crazy shit. the club that he I think he drove ecstasy we're all on ecstasy so I reach over

1:48:34 Crazy. You know, because I couldn't believe it. He goes, hey, Rodney, what's up, kids? So we put my first wife in back to school. Thank you. Just hang. I was 388 pounds with a 56-inch waist. And I had always been, you know me, when I first started, I was doing a TV show, and I saw myself, I was 388 pounds, with a 56-inch waist. i got bigger and bigger and bigger and one day i just said i'm gonna stop and then i started

1:50:56 took over and I thought I'm definitely in because I did Oprah. And the lifting was for my brain. Kids in the gym see me. Lifting weights. he said, listen, you can get this together. Can't stay clean on yesterday's shower. don't talk about it you know i mean i'm talking about now because you asked me but you know and I know how bad I was, you know, and I lost.

1:53:45 high that would this old woman was what's your name? what do you do? said, come get me. And I go, you know, hey man, She was a, Yeah, right, yeah, yeah yeah oh yeah oh she was Yeah, one of his specials. at the Playboy Mansion. Yeah, I mean, I would But they're doing modern stand-up but they're doing And I wanted to know as much as I could about all the guys who came before me.

1:57:12 And this was before YouTube and stuff. And I said, I want to be like that guy. And Tony knocked him out. No, but I kind of dig it, too, man. Area 51? It went to the Homestead Air Force Base outside of Miami, it says Yeah, that's how I got it. No. I got him pretty drunk this conversation never happened That's how long ago that was. So now me and Mike are golfing with these blue angels.

2:00:26 took me into a building, and they fixed my jet within 35 minutes b2 or the the stealth bomber right yeah they were testing that there and and and the spy plane yeah You know, it's not good. And basically at the end of the book, it was like Hitler had these, you know, his guys experimenting with the Jews and cut, put their arms on different ways and had an aircraft that looked like a spaceship, and it crashed.

2:02:16 all of his phone calls and taping all his conversations and they found out that his don't know who's telling the truth he says that you know they uh they wiped his uh college record It was right outside where the Riviera was. Oh, wow. And Gaffigan. It was pretty amazing. Oh, we can't have that. No Banya. And we fly. Yeah, I was in favor then. They had horseback riding.

2:05:37 I went in the gunboat. and I got the best apartment overlooking the bay. We get up in the tower, and I see the binoculars, and I see this Cuban guy. we gotta go away and I go they go about 20 minutes He goes, see this? though oh it sucks i wanted i wanted to ride horse. I wanted to ride the tankers. There was a lot of people that they just scooped up in the wide net of looking to find people that were complicit,

2:08:13 When Obama released the five guys for that one guy, the deserter, one of my buddies in Castro has never cashed a check. Lenny Clark, you've lived a fucking amazing life, man. pleasure to see you I appreciate it pal