Joe Rogan Experience #1275 — Luis J. Gomez Transcript

Transcript

0:00 all this shit four three two one I understand. But yeah, it just separates me as well. this is one of the most unique times for networks of comedians, that we're all connected together Nate Bargatze lives in fucking Tennessee. Just did a Netflix special. I want to buy a big house Like that old dude He hasn't been in L.A. Did a big thing on social media about it.

2:25 had to carry him outside to go and he's 140 pounds right it was just why couldn't they walk he was So he wouldn't let any dogs breed if they're aggressive an animal that can literally kill somebody. this is more of a racially uh they're talking with gentrification sort of i i think it's like Nobody's striving to even get out, really. They're separated by neighborhoods.

5:31 And it's the first day that girls wear mini skirts out and their tits are just hanging out. In LA, you're not interacting with a crazy hot model unless you know the right people. about it they're unapologetic they're like uh yeah we we did this mick mars was like if it I don't even know where my liver is on my body. So when you punch I grew up on 80s metal.

8:01 Yeah. don't even quote him. Bespectacled. I forget what the way he phrased it but it was very funny i was like there's a lot of fucking people like that there's You see what's being pushed out there. He's one of the best heavyweights of all time when it comes to liver shots. That's it. Pop. He hits so hard. In a different I was running street teams

10:28 beat me in a boxing match i've never fucking trained today in my life but if they could just and then when you cover upstairs, Nobody wants to fight him. The guy just got fucked up by the cannon. Instagram page Here he is I think Bisping He's like a battery He had some sort of And looks good again. nastukin nastukin i think is his last name the guy's a beast that one fc show was legit yeah

12:50 That's a terrible injury. People don't realize that side of it. It was a fight against another comedian. I need to take that back. Everyone will. There's also the kids that are just from the hood Just a little nine-year-old from the hood that's a tough kid. Yeah. Whereas there's a lot of people that talk a lot of shit but they never really pull yeah well even anywhere

15:23 fan at all but apparently was very positive like anti-violence And shot him. it's brutal that's literally how my father died literally well except with it was with a knife Like, I'm not. are you know willing to kill somebody over whatever just an argument take their life completely Are they around a lot of violence? Always the threat of violence the drop of a hat

18:41 aggressive with him right at all right yeah and i talk talking is huge right have good thing i do i think is the fact that i'm creating this good little person he's a really this place called jamaica plain uh outside of boston for about a year my parents knew immediately Like kids were always trying to fight me. Teenage boy. They were drinking all the time.

21:19 Just think about that. They sort of knew. Yeah, I guess in the 60s, it was like you had to read a book. And if I do a good job, you'll be a good person. They want to hurt you. cause yeah whatever it is you know it's also it's it's sort of intoxicating and it's fun and what's important is the internet is essentially the whole world is a big window and everyone has

24:51 Go live your life. I'm proud. fucking country is fun but there's definitely some fucked up aspects of it the fact There was something that they had on the news to violent murderers yeah you have a violent life philosophy where i'm not going to solve the immigration issue. So I'll sort of start there. know it's just sort of like yeah i think it's um i i think as a human being it's hard to see that

28:29 It's crazy. I mean, me, I would go. disrespect italy but they decided i gotta get the fuck out of here and they got on a boat all of When I talked to a guy there and the art is insane when you're when you're going through rome and you go through um the Fuck like crazy and kind of by saying it's wrong but and as as an adult as a 37 year old man uh who has a six-year-old boy

31:12 They want it? I have a bin about it on my brand new special, What is it again? What's that? Catcalling. that's what it's like to be a chick that's what it's like i i get i go to a high-end gym high-end almost like a presenting type thing where he's trying to fish for me to suck his dick. What, the gay guys? That's a good move. It's like ringing a bell.

33:48 This will pay off. Huh. He's looking to suck some cock. It's a weird thing, and you feel very defenseless.eless and i understand it's the first time i truly was like No, it wasn't just being gay. Yeah, you live a different life than me. would just have to take it he'd have to take it well that's what i when i was training for that fucking clue until you do it and i had no idea until this is last summer and i just and he was

36:48 Do you know how people The guy's just talking And everything like that But he's He's not Shaquille o'neal he's not like some seven foot something Yeah. But that's with everything, with stand-up, with artwork, It's when am I going to tap? When's it coming? I had a friend of mine who'm going to get strangled. Yeah. They don't even have to be bigger than me. Be smaller than me. It's when am I going to tap?

38:21 Was it like, was he like that much better? the story was they could have had Hickson, If Hoist did it Whereas Hickson Yeah in the best sense of the word that's awesome so i don't think they ever thought they could control Pride won, it was Hickson. hicks and just throws him off that's all stands up he was a savage it's awesome i love it i wish Yeah.

41:43 He was a Hickson Gracie student, I believe. and it hurts yeah continuously tear and then the rib will heal up like sticking out a little bit. And it was all doing, it was all rolling jujitsu with guys who were just trying to kick your ass. You know, like if I roll with John Jock Machado, like I never get hurt. You know, I never win, but I't get hurt yeah you know like if i roll with uh john jock machado like i never get hurt he you know i never win but i never get hurt you know it's uh you he's always in control like

43:13 Yeah. what a pussy i am this is what how tough this fucking guy was huge guy right and just nasty in the back and my hand was throbbing. As soon as you walk out there, you're not going to feel anything. He's just flexing on you On so many levels I was like that's not happening There's another quote It's crazy. Before wrestling practice. That's why wrestlers are like mentally some of the toughest people alive.

46:09 body into the ground i think he's got two hip replacements two knee replacements doesn't mean there's the other side of it as well, they're, i'm gonna take you that was sort of you know right um which i think is you know a problem but that When you're diving in for a punch or a straight blast or something like that, that's very similar to diving in for a takedown

48:12 He has no ego. want you to just try it this way just do this one thing and they'll try it for a couple of seconds sides he knows how to take people down he knows how to stuff takedowns yeah just those things He has excellent command over his body. your body prepared for like something that it's not really prepared for exactly taking yourself which is the train to get home.

51:41 now because there was like a little wall and there was a heavy bag there and the way uh Mr. Kim and Mr. O'Malley Michael O'Malley who was also the the head But I did, The coach said, Fuck you. I was like, oh, I can do that? And you went back to that gym specifically. they didn't emphasize that, You have to have power. getting a real you're it's a plyo there's actual physical resistance in terms of weight

54:28 yeah but there's a big difference between that kind of punching power and say like a tommy Yeah. Little Mexican kid comes up adrenaline it was a game for me it wasn't like you know it felt like my head was shook it felt And I, I'm too big. They'll show you a few punches, have you hit the pads a little bit, tell you to keep your hands up. Then They'll try you Like right out of the street They'll show you a few punches

56:33 And sometimes Just looking for an easy target Let her know That just rattle You don't even notice But you'll stop. You don't think about it, but you got hit in the head 30 times. like how about angus young from acdc i'd like to do an iq test on that fucking savage banging his And you're right. Angus would, on stage, play and headbang at the same time.

58:47 Fuck. No. ran a train on me in 1987 fyi and i was really intoxicated Maybe it's a different time. Like those ladies had a different approach to things. way to express it like they do now yeah it. It's a different, like, it was a completely different world 20, 30 years ago. I mean. It feels worse because we have the internet and you have access to your

1:01:22 Hey, doing shit you know yeah we certainly can yeah i mean people there's a lot of this nonsense Did you feel gross though after it was over? out there but at this point you're like i don't know who gives a fuck i just think overall in general it's better to be who because people just don't like the same things that you like. That's okay. year old guy is like i love it well he's not wrong no everybody has a different opinion he's

1:04:38 Because that's what you're doing. Also, if you know the way comedy works, you're presenting what they don't understand is and i'm hoping people get it more now than they ever did before but this some people still don't get it it's a year you know richard pryor talking about smoking, he had nights where that joke bombed. Patrice O'Neill, who, I mean, in my opinion,

1:06:33 Don Imus. Yeah. right but it's wrong it's not wrong isn't the right word well the problem is we're trying it out with the people many subjects if i thought it was stupid if it was insulting to my intelligence if i was frustrated listening to this idiot talk on stage i would leave the room don't you don't get to do that at a comedy club and it's right that

1:08:40 Yeah. might be the funniest of his friends right which to be honest with you that's all you need to start fuck dude. it's also a weird thing i feel feel like if aliens saw us doing comedy, There's no fish left. What? And you're like Fish don't even take care of their babies, man. Of a fish Let's say Do you want me to start And then they get jacked by something.

1:12:05 Yeah. Do you know what they used to do on boats, man? That's how they'd use them for food Yeah, I think I have I said that right when i was saying that i'm like are you the back straps off of it and they cook it correctly, it's delicious. I mean, you ever see those swamp people shows where they have boats filled with fucking I don't know. You definitely could kill something.

1:14:28 You just have to have not the best prospects All you gainers out there. Oh, yeah. So, if you have a body of water and you're not standing there 24-7 with a fucking spotlight And they've been alive They can go without food That was just like Like they're building a fucking bridge. Right, right, right. It's crazy, man. getting better and better at this shit i did did the Transformers. I brought my kid to Universal last year.

1:17:14 It was the last year. I ride that recently. My son was five, as Jurassic Park the movie. $110 million to make this shitty ass ride. If that was at a county fair, I'd be like, all right. Yeah. like a velociraptor and the uh the trainer's like trying to calm them This is not that long ago. I think there's smoking areas that are designated. Because it was funny listening to this old dude on, just for the fuck of it, I was listening to AM radio, talk radio.

1:20:51 the alzheimer's the people that have all these serious issues that cbd is fixing arthritis You needed straight-laced guys to come in. And, you know, yeah yeah i don't like for i don't i don't use we that doesn't try i do i do take cbd i literally during that fight i was using topical cbd the whole time well, I have a bunch of this stuff. I know that since I started taking it, I weirdly feel better,

1:23:08 It definitely reduces inflammation, makes you feel better. So it's like edible, like marijuana mixed with CBD. It's just a plant, folks. It just relaxes you. them you were lewis j gomez i told him lewis gomez that's when i started using the middle a joint we're not talking about like i have an ounce that i just bought from my dealer and they and fill up paddy wagons and create criminals.

1:26:02 Vastly disproportionate numbers of them going to jail one of the guys that was actively campaigning to keep the ufc out he went to jail that have been manipulating shit and getting That guy just got whacked. Yeah, some dude just got killed. Just got whacked. That happened, and I was like, what? lot of the mob But they're still doing mob killings right That guy just got whacked

1:27:31 They're out there I had no idea Growing up gaudy. I'm like, can you imagine you're some poor guy at a bar you know he's killed is like, happen man oh yeah i had we were at a ufc event in philly years ago forrest griffin anderson silva were just ready for a fight. eight fights in the crowd. And the guy just said, I don't even like this girl really. we just kind of like

1:29:31 for my honor she's like I'm gonna ladies if any ladies listen to this show wants to be in that situation you're never going to go unconscious they have no idea what happened they go unconscious their head bounces off the People falling and hitting their head and dying, I haven't seen them die, but they could easily. that something was the fucking world the earth it doesn't give it all concrete doesn't give it all the only thing

1:32:21 and then they just split their head open and it's like the worst dude gruesome and you just fall and then his head bounces off the ground You're stuck. So it's an injury that also has traumatic brain injury? somebody that's been hit in the head avoid it yeah yeah i uh whenever with my son because there's Just avoid at all costs having to get into a confrontation in front of him because that's one of my biggest fears in the world is not knowing what to do.

1:35:05 is there well there are humans that are they're just like you you're around them but if you live On one level, I'm happy I'm raising my kid in the city where he could be around the woods They're a hindrance as much as they are like a nice thing to see. Okay, I can't. Just one lady just needs some help. And that's like, that's a microcosm Of what happens in a city

1:37:31 Or When you give them that lot of money a lot of money man he's just begging and he was essentially saying there's nothing i watched my mom on welfare i remember as a kid watching my mom collect a welfare check and sit I appreciate a good con artist. Aren't they figuring out something different, though? Now, look, I've been in New York City since 2001.

1:39:43 And they're there. he was wearing a suit young white guy wearing a suit he was like dude i missed my bus back home you're instead of sort of adding emotion to it and changing the story and doing all these different I can appreciate a good hustler. in columbus you're sort of reminding me i completely forgot about him he was known as You do, man. I always got a CD player. I do. I got a laptop. I got a refurbished laptop. We had this guy in Columbus.

1:42:05 It was like his punchline, like Help Is On The Way. He went right back to the pipe. He fucked it up. you know, 98.9. I think doing that for a living makes you fucking crazy. and doing voiceover auditions and trying to be a voice in some commercial. It was this chick who wrote all these books. Yeah. She had a bunch of them, But there was like No real evidence

1:44:31 There was a On how to do stand up Wrote a book yep everyone So she'd be like, a path in standup, Fuck you, Judy Corder. Maybe she's funny. Fuck you, Judy Corder. This is one of the last bastions of actual shit talking. so pertinent it's so important that it all comes from the same place whether it hits or misses it's a it fits in they're jumping in we bust balls then that's the other thing you don't realize you're called legion of skanks yeah

1:47:08 They put the kibosh on that bad boy. No, but you're right. What do you think is going to happen? It's one of those stupid things they rope you into Or is it one of those Stupid things they rope you into Had a whole joke about it He had a The cellular level Like how to start off Acting is such a different thing i mean even on the like the like the the cellular

1:48:42 bring some weed dude we get sponsored speed weed that's dropping here it's already rolled up action bronson oh yeah action bronson came in here and by the time the ashtray was done i had I'm like, I know the right thing to do. to write man as a comic it's one of the most important things to capture you got to dive on I met him out here. leave a space between each line, so then you can go in and fill in different words later and it gets very specific like that um and i think putting in those little habits and just

1:52:13 But I fuck up spelling all the time. Write. Just do it. Just get out there and make it happen just start moving you gotta force yourself to sit in front of a notepad or whatever it is for x amount of time a day have a fucking timer if you were sitting down a problem where I have, That's fun, too, man. It's the one thing that we tend to fuck off on.

1:53:52 If I'm working on Make sure you listen to two sets a night now you did five sets a night yeah it is like it because you're in that don't like to listen it sounds gross listen to yourself like shut up stupid your voice you're like substantially. um and you start to hate it and that's a that's a very difficult painful process and i think most He still is never satisfied.

1:56:30 You know when you do too many sets You feel like they know you ever conscious of that are you ever thinking like fuck dude i know that guy he saw this bit Yeah, it can definitely mess your head. were at the the comedy store like a week before when i did a set there and then they came to the Like, you mentioned watching George St. like it was really cool it was a really really cool thing um wait how do we even get there i'm

1:59:47 Thank you, Jamie. I'm watching a fight right now have a higher they should have at least a little bit of an understanding that they're watching the Yeah, he used to get, they used to get angry if he didn't do the hits. I'm sure. He still tells that story. that story i'm sure well people will be mad bird is taken to taking his shirt off in the Um, and now every winter I get fat every summer I get back in shape and I just yo-yo back

2:02:10 It's just an uncomfortable life knowing that if you're eating something in public that there are other people that are health conscious looking at you and judging you. Unbelievable. It's not barbecue taste. because that's a weird taste right that does not taste like barbecue i tell you this much it does Oh, you're allowed to say trans fats? And mean the exact same thing or people get furious.

2:04:16 If you go to a black room and do racist jokes, what would be deemed as racist jokes by young liberal white people, they love it, dude. Yeah. That's a sugar, right? Barbecue chips? on chips and vinegar those sound good I don't know if I can taste the fucking difference. What do you think? killed like at least four laptops on this that's one of the reasons why i switched to a windows

2:06:51 And then it goes off and you make sure you have the one that's water resistant like you might not have you might have I was drinking red wine. um but these were beautiful white sneakers just got them and the wine it literally the entire glass about that today there's like a an someone wrote. Apple doesn't, from their stance, they don't buy that. to it like if you like a lenovo keyboard it's so much better today you know what it is i think

2:09:33 so everything's real small and it looks sleek as fuck. sense of what you're doing and you're more precise you need your hands moving around more you need But I don't even mean like a regular keyboard like just mavis base bacon teaches typing i did all those little courses where it's like a game that you it shows you, like, a map of where your hands are in relationship to the keys, and it shows

2:11:33 I almost felt that game Guitar Hero, The new thing I just discovered, it's called tap. It's going to suck right now. Fuck. bitch is listening always oh yeah oh it's crazy it's over whatever i've sort of given up like that's good that's that's very close on the way. Yeah. the fuck kind of weird body slavery was that psychics strapped into a tub all day like what

2:14:50 well, why wouldn't you go to this guy and say, Yeah. this is what's going to happen for everyone that wants a minimum wage raised this is coming guys nobody's going to be working in these places this is weird they're going to you know uh technologies remove them from the workforce they don't they're not needed anymore I'm a moron. And the debate is, if this is coming, what do you do about it?

2:17:04 They send it over. Yeah, I get it, man. And shelter, just give them enough so that they our taxes go right we don't have no idea i have no idea where the fuck it goes right well it's distributed throughout if it went and you knew that it made you're like, try to go get your license renewed and you realize They don't want to have any type of real passion.

2:19:15 You know what they would do? Yep. There's union gigs too, by the way. couple of avenues there's only a few channels there's only a few slots ever right for all the It's crazy. apollo that's what you get that's what you hired no i uh can't ask i quit something different it like don't we're not going to get anywhere cool or interesting if we're this regimented yeah if

2:22:25 It's all crazy. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa okay what are you doing why spend that much money And then the On Demand Library is a premium with AdFree is a premium. We're like, huh, really? But you don't, but that's the beautiful thing. That was a great episode, guys. I'm happy. I'm not, though. Yeah.

2:25:12 So I think it's a little bit, I think it's a little counterintuitive. Yeah, we were on his network for a while. And you will continue to grow that number. He's a legend. someone's got like a list of questions and they're rattling it off like that's not fun It's so good. at broadcasting as well um be able to react in real time you're going to get these things you couldn't get it anywhere else you

2:28:36 Live from the compound. to most 60 year old italian men in long island they're going to have some fairly controversial Barbecue potato chips. Look, it's not perfect. some of it's just not you can be friends with people you don't agree i mean nick dipalo whatever and i'm watching like a fan-made patrice o'neill documentary and he's just saying like the

2:31:35 laugh at it you don't have to get mad i don't agree with half the shit most of the shit that understanding like how to get off controversial ideas yeah you know he was and but his his contribution for a lot of us was uh I think I can be speaking for myself. like Kennison and Hicks and those guys didn't give a fuck. it? And me and big J, we were both playing Guitar Hero at the time.

2:34:19 Probably 10 years ago. me and Big Jay became friends of anything thank you Joe Yeah. look if you like punk rock you should be able to listen to punk rock but if you like the kind watch is if there's some fucked up scene i can go oh that reminds me of some fucked up shit um but Yep. the premise, it ruins it. but she becomes wrong when she tries to take away the experience from other

2:37:09 this is why. I do close my act with a 10-minute rape joke. It's a long bit though. personal experience or whatever it is and the way we're looking at as comics is we're trying to find something really positive out of something And sometimes, yeah, sometimes you have a bit that's just not worth it you know like the way people haven't seen Diaz recently.

2:39:31 you know, uh, they don't really give a shit about words like that. because those words become these forbidden words dangerous words they have so much more power it doesn't mean what they think it means we're talking about a person with down syndrome they too many people that there's no barrier of entry and we're exposed to a lot of horse shit very sneaking into network television you hear like shit every now and then i think i think you're

2:42:52 Yeah. That's actually right there. That's how crazy woman shit. That's actually right there. like that. What do you say? It's too easy to pretend to care now. You feel shitty. The conflict is addictive. happens all the time you can also get sucked into some abortion debate that eats your life for the but what is it a woman's choice to do? okay i think everyone most people think it's okay when there's like two cells right there's only two

2:46:58 but in this exact second it is okay, this fucking baby that's that because when we went to the doctor we weren't 100 positive we Yeah. had to put myself into a category i would put myself into the pro-choice category um it's i it's i mean it is not a clean thing it's a strange thing and it's why i say it's one of the most Yeah, I've seen that animals do that.

2:49:51 She had carved a hole killed its babies. Dude it was rough We were so happy that they had babies It turned out she had, yeah. and it just says that like, but that's what this article says. Other babies for other animals. no uh no uh the revenant where like the parents the most brutal scene that's the fake one you that eventually you're gonna run into a bear that's like yeah you know what they'll eat the fuck out of you dude yeah it's a great documentary

2:52:55 You'll still be alive. with a knife though just in case you heard the story about the guy because it was the rumor a couple years ago and he found 35 pounds. Isn't it crazy that a baby cat You think so? Oh, Jesus Christ. like it's going to end well. He's probably, Oh. You think so? If Burt Kreischer had that story, that'd be a whole other fucking special.

2:55:16 Dude, we got to wrap this up. Is it Gomez Comedy on Instagram? Alright That was fun dude That was man. Thanks. Good brother. My brother. Thank you. Thanks. Bye everybody.