Joe Rogan Experience #1280 — Michael Yo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Will you go through all three of those? You're a fucking beast going through three coffees. No. you're going to die. I've drank both of them before in a show, It's so good in the morning, because to me that's better than drinking one coffee. Yes. It doesn't taste like shit, but it's definitely an acquired taste. Like this, like a gentleman. and then i go to the gym i can't well i do that too one time i uh i drank five i have an espresso espresso maker and i put five capsules in there

2:32 See, but it all depends on the company, But that's a coffee, that's not I think 500 milligrams, which is I just drink this stuff all day. I'm not calling you anymore. I was like, what? one of them right whatever the fuck that means and it's very debatable whether or not you have They say if you have the legit ADD. I don't understand. He's like, I just want to let –

6:15 And he goes, the more people go to doctors, the faster they die. they tell you something's wrong, you die. But your mom beat it twice, and she's still here. I'm fine. like a guy he plays golf with Yeah. See, that's not supportive. But you're dumb. doctor i think you're not interested in being a doctor no see because i see how you pursue stand uh and he has been doing i believe for like 15 years or so like doesn't do it every single day

9:09 if you're listening to me and you want to punch somebody and knock them out, They go unconscious. Their head hits the ground. People die all the time. I mean, accidentally even if you really don't hate the guy that much you punch him in the face they go it sounds horrible why listen to someone's head bounce off concrete is one of the scariest That reminds me when I was 10 years old, I was sitting on the curb.

11:06 And this is like, And his wife is picking up his hair Like it was bad. and my friend same friend that was on the curb we were three wheeling and and where i grew up there Because we were young and dumb and just wanted to like. I feel we tell, Mine too. Wow. In a good way. What the fuck do I do? By the time you get home, the kids have been home from school for three hours.

14:36 it all the hey i love you i love you i love you so i called my dad and i was like hey i love you It's a different time for them, man. No, that's never happened to me, Joe, where I told somebody I loved them and they said This is too weird, man. It's a good spot Like I think it's a good spot to start out. Sedona? It's all people looking to be spiritual.

17:36 of what our memory is is uh very limited and that the reason why people are scared of things Why aren't they scared of bullets or fires? I think monsters represent like jaguars and shit. That's why everybody's scared of things under the bed. Right, but what kind of instincts? that from his he didn't learn that from nobody no he learned that from his dog people when he

19:56 traits that I don't think they see two but he makes facial expressions and looks like he does certain looks that i do and and my wife And it's so weird. But it's in the DNA. That was the worst. The pilot episode. And I was acting like a- I remember what you had to eat. And I didn't eat it. I remember biting down into it and it kind of like burst. But you know what was surprisingly mild?

23:15 Yeah, it was a celebrity fear factor. She decided I'll eat three worms. shooting out ink. They play them on different like True TV or something like that, Okay. were just psyching themselves out yeah and the smoker won our episode the guy that we thought When they were launching a car through a moving train and an explosion When I showed up that day and they brought the paper into my trailer and they told me

26:33 but dude how about an intern had a drink it an intern had a drink and i think they only got You know, like how much meat can you actually like and then they would determine, all right, The debate on the set would be like, But they did eat bull dicks and elk dicks and deer dicks but the donkey cum was the worst oh yeah and No, because I think people are like, look, it's an experience.

28:42 wasn't a little they had to drink no no it no, no. They had to drink a lot. There it is. This is disgusting. Okay, that's no other country is doing that just for fun. Yeah, that's like Italian for cheese. I'm dumb. smelling cheese and the taste is fantastic i'd be like wow i would think that the smell would Oh, so you were just messing with their smell sense.

31:29 I was different too. Yes. And I knew you from news radio. be yourself just good luck whatever you do don't improve just be who you are right now forever Oh, just be you. It's just you, yourself, and you play that emotion. It was basically me. Yeah. that could just tell you what happened based on what they really remember people want to jazz they're coming here that means their technology is far way more advanced than ours right so why

35:23 hide or do you think maybe they do it because we can't handle it because we can't handle it why would they care disrupt all of our governments it would disrupt all of our religions it would disrupt every single That's my whole point There's a reason But we're trying to keep those deer alive. But we're also sharing the same earth. these are and we're at and we lie we lie about shit we we lie

38:11 We do give a shit about things. lived in miami man and at the time i lived in miami talk about like you did radio out there Yeah. Alligator jacked him in front of the cops. No, that's what I'm saying. that pythons eat them and tried to eat the python world that's the whole world including the ocean everywhere is all just predators and prey predators and prey predators and prey we've figured out a way to insult but but in insulation

42:17 You roll around the circle and you can't get in it. Two years ago, a woman who worked on Game of Thrones, she was there on vacation and she got pulled out of her fucking car. They've never had anything happen to them. He's filming it. Hey motherfucker You know they're a weird animal Yeah, all of them. 2,750 kilograms. Well, people don't respect In the Olympics

44:58 Well that's me away from this thing you're like ah it's not gonna and then it just runs up on you well they say if They swim fast Oh my god the first day that something gets killed by a fucking python in Florida, those fucking serpents they're in the bible okay yeah they're in the bible snakes will eat your It used to be there were some snakes, like cottonmouths and stuff like that.

47:13 well let me ask you something alligator and be honest with me if if that guy got eaten like a It had like thousands of babies all around it that had just hatched like a couple weeks ago. Scream? This is crazy. I was at a friend's eating her kids this is crazy i was i there eating her kids you're like that anybody would give a fuck about crabs oh you know i mean it's not like i want them to go extinct but that's one

49:32 Dude, that game is a real problem. Yes. We go to war. He talks shit to me And play with you too It is a fun ass He's talking about This is like you're always in some sort of a castle. you possibly can then you also want want to be clever about weapons choices What are you talking about? That one red button did everything on the joystick. It was hilarious.

52:18 It's too much for me. Yeah. Like I don't know. Learn how to fight a little bit. I know. Who did he attack? And the guy tackled him. I know a lot of them. Okay, so say I started to go to a fight gym. i will roll with that are weaker than me smaller than me and tap me every time i roll with them But I also heard you say, like, on one of your podcasts,

54:47 Do you know one in Studio City? Okay. like as far as teaching yeah top notch like but there's a lot of really good jujitsu schools now There was like Hicks and Gracie's, then like a couple other places how long does it take you to get to a black belt like for you some Yeah. dude, I'm going to watch him roll. And then you know this guy is on the quest.

57:21 Like BJ Penn, he won the Mundials, which is the world championships, after three years of training. Is it really? He's like 5'7", 200-plus pounds and just rips guys' legs apart. Because long-legged guys, they can – like sometimes a guy like me with short legs, of all first it was taekwondo and then went to kickboxing and by the time the ufc came around

59:54 And so that's just how it went for a long time. Would you have beaten him? Like, he throws kicks and punches, and it looks really good. It'll be crazy as fuck to do it again. I'm like in a scramble How helpless they are like maybe he's running me and he's swinging at me and i'm swinging at him maybe i hit him first You're just not going to. never even trained before he just knew what to do yeah he like knew what to do because he'd seen

1:03:09 close to my size and he's being an asshole and he's drunk and he gets aggressive with me i can matama drake and i threw one punch and i hit him right in the face and he looks at me and goes Thank God. Nothing is up. And then I was, there was a club in Houston named Power Tools that I used to. In Houston, the gay bar was called Rich's at the time. Luke Perry.

1:05:44 I'm fucking running hills and lifting Defending, you have to be strong. I like being able to run for long distances. they work great yeah see i i just need to i listen to you and it's like you're always taking something and i have more energy now everything's better it's so good for game for me. I have more energy now. sweating because it reminds me when i played sports it reminds me even though i'm not doing

1:08:48 yeah i mean but look it's all just about getting your body hot yeah like it's good to try the gets deeper in your tissue yeah it's supposed to go deeper. How hot does the infrared get? That's some microwave shit. It feels so good. I love it. So good for you. Do you fuck with. You go in there and you're like, oh. It feels so good. You're like, try the cold.

1:10:21 It's cold. I love heat, you love it? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it is. city some guys just walk in and something falls on them you know front oh or a person how about That's one of the craziest ways to go. Here it comes. Even though it's your choice. They have it to the point where it's almost unbearable every day. Like literally they got excited when they talked to,

1:14:01 I'm like, You know what I mean? And two of them were snipers and the other two were on the ground and they were like, that spot where you're a cop getting out your car walking to a car with tinted windows yep knocking A cop is just a citizen. when a cop pulls you over hands out let them see it you know it's taught to us yes when we're when and if you want to be able to call the police if some shit is going down you should appreciate

1:17:35 Because there's so many interactions. You're being paid to be the enemy, even if you've never had an interaction. It's just a waste of time. and no one speeded and there was no more traffic violations in terms of speeding tickets. police and people start from the core and that's a major problem if you have to pull over people even if you're a cop and go

1:20:05 been pulled over four miles over a hundred percent and but as a driver of that car going four miles and that was the last time we went to vegas i went with my wife and son and we got pulled like a cop are those people that's kind of cool no it's great so a cop pulls us over for this vegas trip and privilege that's the real white and i'm like babe and i'm like telling the cop tell me about

1:23:16 Shoe horns. What if he didn't like a black dude married to a white woman? she's trying she's trying she's got a good mindset yeah she's trying and her family's trying but it's really important, is it became a national thought. Was it a taser? a video the other day of a guy getting in an altercation it's an off-duty cop got into an also some slobs like i've seen some guys that are they're a cop i'm like bro you can't run a block

1:26:42 What I hate about this conversation, whatever side they're on with the cops, they're going to pull whatever they want because we've talked negative. It's like you can't say anything wrong with cops People are like, fuck him. but it's the best time to be alive ever. We just have to, we were just not used to so much. And then in the last 35 years, I don't think you'll ever see a technology our in like the last 35 years i'll i don't think you'll ever

1:29:09 you have but i i guess i'm saying things that change the world like there was no internet joe Yeah, some dude just said, Wi-Fi's in this room. We use it. You can access... You can shut your phone it. Think about Wi-Fi, right? Wi-Fi is in this room. If you can wear something that picks up on that in the same way, picks up on Wi-Fi in the same way, picks up on cellular signals, whether it's 4G or 5G,

1:30:44 helps people with traumatic brain injuries helps people with depression they've been able to do now can access all the knowledge i mean it's not perfect if you google things some of the things are is gonna change reality as we know it and it's probably right around the corner the same way but oh really but let's say and i know you don't know about but let's say you put on a device and

1:33:13 Exoskeleton is like a suit that you put on that's like, say if you work in a factory, Get away from her, you bitch. Okay. Okay. possible that this is going to be our future. It doesn't have anything to do with them. tell them until it's way too late too late they're already the one they tell them they're going to But I still, everything you've said so far still, to me, is not bigger than not having internet.

1:36:03 all of that gives you information if i speak to you in aates language it just gets through all so if i speak to you gives you like grievance studies and a lot of the things that are overcoming universities these days and they feed off of each other and agree on each other with each other all the time you gotta be really careful with information these days and also you know

1:37:34 There's people to this day that deny that. Like we have to, Cause everybody has their own little version of history. literally and i don't want to get political or anything but but i remember when everybody was If Fox news, if you watch that and they say this, you're just yelling at that, but you I think there's good things that Democrats do. why their messaging is always off that's why donald trump donald trump could have never been a democrat like if donald

1:40:09 I want to, Cause I'm from Texas, hey rah rah let's go yeah that's the whole thing it's it's man you remember when the flags were That was one of the things that Reagan said once when he was talking about they were meeting with Gorbachev. an enemy everybody attack him i'm not saying it's right or wrong i'm just saying that's the way it He's got some big ass fucking ears.

1:42:45 trump was elected it's a reflection of america when he got it when he got voted it's a reflection If Hillary was elected, those women would have never got together to march. apart you know because you know there's some problems in this country but it has brought a Bill would be the first one. know what she did or didn then you don't know what There was a giant V12 sucking gasoline like it was going out of style,

1:45:39 So it's kind of like, hey, you know what you got yourself into? hears you say something that isn't true but you say it with confidence even though the evidence What kind of things do you think they say they can't protect you from? No, I'm not saying that. politicians because they spend reach yeah and spend so much money to keep them in power and I was talking to Byron Bowers

1:48:26 No, I'm saying if you want to kill a president, it's not like it used to be. You would probably get caught. Because you'd have to get someone to get past all that. But I just really feel like there are rules that we'll never ever know about. they love bush people hated bush they called bush a war criminal now he's an on who you talk to that's an expert and i'm not one yeah me neither but there's obviously and then also people say well this is a trend that was actually going on during

1:51:40 yeah you're not no i mean that's it's horrible this is the worst time ever for perception of us in terms of like the way we handle immigrants well you know you know the the It's nice. They're good guys Generations One, you've got to make drugs legal. You got, We all do. Yes. minds will sort a lot of that out and then we're going to figure out a way to i don't want to say like for redistribution

1:55:07 I don't want to just give out stuff for free. Yes. she was just talking about like you know her family's from ecuador and her kids she can't They think, oh, that's not. Yeah. me, you do the local press and things. They probably did. like they look, so we want to see. You know? And then she goes, he's right said you weren't uh going to talk politics so we want to

1:58:19 Because I talk a lot about growing up in an all-white neighborhood in the Put it like this. It's the dumbest thing ever. I don't mean, I? Is that her idea? It's the dumbest thing ever. But what I'm saying is my friend was like, oh, you know, if the Democrats win, that's incompetent people that are distributing the money. really understand human psychologists people really understand human beings really understand what's

2:00:37 But that's not impossible. but until that happens what does that mean though does it every four years we figure out what There's a new system. And our past But we're doing it actively of him yeah on tv and here's the thing about the rodney king thing that guy apparently was a like where his finger used to be was it a thumb thumb? No, it was his pinky finger, his trigger finger.

2:04:29 it was weird it was real weird yeah but that's pcp son living that pcp life fucking crazy people This is not denying the awful things of the world the we're going to tax everybody that makes more than 10 million dollars 70 percent like bitch you ain't going to get to this spot and then after that spot we're going to divvy up all the money so it's not a bad thing for a guy like that to have all that money because you don't have to think of

2:07:34 know man i don't know i don't know joe we just i don't know either but i do know that it's He has to consult with people, and they have to agree on something. You watch this go down and you watch these people being forced to negotiate in the way Trump is forced to talk about Nancy Pelosi because she has so much power. Man, it's so fun to watch right now.

2:09:08 I don't know what they're doing. I post and ghost. Game playing? He wasn't The Rock then. to ask me if I'm achieving my goals, if I'm moving forward in life, he could oh 100 100 100 he could be president he could vote 100%. 100%. 100% he could be president. 100%. I would vote for him. Yeah. But for him, that big, to take time to motivate me separately and you know i know if he sees me

2:12:15 Little things that big celebrities do or somebody that really inspires you, shit up that's too big but you know what i left that's just too big joe it's not too big for him He's giant Like Will Smith was my guy You got to do what you got to do, bro. Did you not see Will Smith? one hand see he did Yeah, but Will Smith and The Rock need to make a movie together.

2:14:20 And they both- Does he really? but he doesn't break eye contact with you that's what I like no he just like game hey what's up What he does, I tell all my friends, when you interview Tom Cruise, he will ask him a question. they are. It just worked. Is this, is that? They're crazy. being an entertainment reporter, I mean, they give you questions to ask and you have to

2:17:16 one time uh what's her name uh anna god what's her name uh shoot she was in devil's wear prada not uh meryl streep but and anne hathaway so they gave like man she's fucking right that was a dumb ass question maybe you could say i'm sorry they made My first interview ever was with Jennifer Aniston at Marley and Me. No, I didn't. between a dog and a man and she laughs and gives a great answer about you know one will be around but a dog is always

2:20:01 you off and give you a little fucking direction oh it's the grossest i mean it probably do the same job if i was in your place i probably if i was a kid when i was a kid if No, no. Oh, by the way, write this down. It's like, you're like, it's me, Michael Yo Average Schmo. black and black people got so blue that's a tough one to swallow. Well, I tell you what's tougher is

2:22:19 and I'll rock your fucking world. Yeah. They wanted something for, I mean, that's the thing, man. He's a big giant dude. billy bob thornton that sling blade thing yeah you know what he did with there no he apparently people like you joe and you know uh bill burr and just theo von who took me out my very first time own path and i think with comedy now is the time where people can make their own path and control

2:25:38 like if someone says this guy's funny you're like well listen to the guys who are telling you these I'm like, dude, you sweating? Yeah, you're not eating each other. and stuff and he said the thing about judd apatow is after freaks and geeks judd basically made his other radio guys. it is but that's what hollywood puts out there you know it's just the circumstances it's not

2:28:08 you hear fucking some James Franco type dude got the role. Well, No, no, no, no. No? because the way I'm wired is but you're not No, no, no, no, no, no. So when I get to that point, I reverse it. he probably didn't even know once you get to a certain point And that means working harder. Building my brand? his campaigns my buddy campaign sent me these look at that i wear them they're nice wait a

2:31:11 and I also do cage-fighting commentary. Then I have an understanding of it Yeah. you know i was at chelsea lately at the beginning of it and when that show was at its peak i say is that like comedians come on here and they're just selling out all over the place and that's Even if I was never doing it, even if I decided right now I don't ever want to tell jokes on stage ever again, I will always watch.

2:34:11 thinking about something else you're hearing conversations like like you're hearing a waitress I do stand-up four days a week. we're going four days a week. And the only way to get that honed fucking samurai sword edge, you got to constantly i was talking to darnell rollins he was like he was talking about one night he had a great set You know who's a person that, I know you're so established now and you got your crowd,

2:36:50 stuff because it's you're working on it anyway it's good right if you if you take enough time one way for great comics to get great it's like playing on a good see them they got to see them when he was wearing leather jumpsuits on stage leather Yes, and leather shirts. Merc in the room. There was a few years where Martin Lawrence was nuking crowds.

2:39:04 of my time at the comedy store. When I came here, I was only six years into comedy. and let them know that i know the situation yep like oh this unknown fucking loser has to follow When he was really sick. because they would walk him and he would drink, I don't know. Still, to this day, I think was one of the all-time greats. You know, he's very personal.

2:42:10 probably respects the craft too much where he's like i can't do it halfway if i if i'm not going say oh he's gonna come out with another one and then it got to a point where how do you back up Like, I remember the first time oh my God, That might have been part of the problem with him, too. Murphy is. I got weirded out when I met him. He did a- you're hearing curse words and you know you're hearing all these you're to this day still

2:45:36 No, no, no. I couldn't imagine it. Same year as Delirious. Okay, so I was 13. 15. A couple of the a disservice to them but what that's so weird. They're going to hear the jokes again. Yes. I mean, that's what was in the documentary. jesus christ and they kept the cameras and they shot it the next night And that's And that's what you have I'm sorry it came out in 82

2:48:20 I was 8 the footage in the film was from the second performance yeah completely messed up his Well, because it was only one show. the next night. sunset strip live from forever it will stand out in my mind it's just it's just amazing and then I don't like watching like What words do you use? You say, this freaking guy, do you ever say that? couple times in this pod but i don't it's not in my normal conversation like i even when i'm hanging

2:51:13 all about i think you can affect people in a very meaningful way never have kids and there's nothing As soon as I met him, I would die for him. I had a cassette And the cover is just him You know for the michael jackson thing the the i had the thriller jacket no i didn't wear that i thought No, no. And I blew it. I went to one of those print shows at the Palladium like four years ago.

2:54:41 I don't know if nobody knew or something. And we think of him as like, God damn it. of the things that keeps kanye west relevant is that he's constantly putting out music yeah Like when Maggie Mae comes on the radio, You know, when you, I know you're still on kanye coming on the show and they're not even And a lot of people don't know the good he did in Chicago.

2:57:18 not the dude that i interviewed well he's volatile you know he goes all over the place yeah that's I mean, he is, you know, a lot of people outside go, oh, he's out there. And that moves our culture along. And people will be crying and laughing. Now, being a comedian, it's the most, I will say that it's the most respected thing in And they're on the biggest television show at that time, Modern Family.

2:59:14 So just the respect you get from doing good comedy, it's better to me than a Taylor Swift on stage. And now that he's gone, he's flip-flopping. Dude. It's a goddamn time warp in this room. Everything at Michael Yo. Yeah, everybody's got Prime.