Joe Rogan Experience #1281 — Tom Papa Transcript

Transcript

0:00 four three two one right yeah that's what i have been doing and then it kind of is okay for a while yeah right and once Regenerate tissue She's a multiple time Never heard of that? Oh, that's right. But that's pretty much it. Yeah. stop being a sissy and try and really push a little more once you get a trainer yeah i don't They're really good. because i've just been dropping no but i just feel like you know a little bit i don't want to be yeah

3:42 People are going to know what disgusts me about me. I'm fine with it. into it then i'm like all right let's go now i'm going further i'm going quicker but uh this has I know, I know. Those ones that hang. They have little tiny nails. No, then I'll mess my shoulder up. All right. are it's like was in like sure do calisthenics yeah yeah nobody ever chin-ups are no joke nobody ever uses those those are

6:17 Bodyweight squats seem easy when you do three. You'd break them up. than 30 push-ups it's like whoa shit starts getting crazy yeah yeah there was a lot of You know those bands? you lift weights with that it's really good for your all over your house so nothing gets ruined did you do you have grandparents that put plastic I was always confused when I was a little kid.

9:08 So it was weird. Live through the fucking depression, man. vigilant right like we all do you ever do you follow um david goggins online no david do you Oh, shit. Some And then on top of those motherfuckers being all special humans, there's guys that can just put a little of that message out. what's that i'm so tired of that what that they were better off for it i don't need to know not

12:07 It's a double-edged sword that are in the news. In quotes. it's good that information is flowing and that moves everybody forward but you know for me You know? doesn't vote i think he said he doesn't i forget his reasoning but it was very logical uh-huh no Right. Well, you know. Okay. and the idea is that more people can get away with things they shouldn't be able to get away with

15:44 people watching that someone could just like dehumanize accidentally killing the wrong people right i make it like Apparently, when Ben Shapiro was here, he said that people's names got put out. I think the first thing was a sex charge. after if you want to get somebody, you go after them for whatever. Who knows what's true? The surveillance footage of Julian Assange skateboarding in the Ecuadorian embassy in

18:09 He's there for seven fucking years. And then they just got sick of him they just got sick of him i think there was also a the It's hilarious. and he brought them all fast food, Just imagine. Listen, let's be real about that, huh? But you're making billions off these kids. like no more i can't do it i can't fit anymore i can't take another bite i need something else i can't

21:12 I think it's real. because some people get so emotionally involved they can't sleep they start crying and they think it's the end of the world i know the world is exactly the same we just have these whatever whether it's cnn whatever show you're into msnbc fox news they all give out a So that becomes your team. culture right now they're not enemies they're americans and you know we're all on team america

23:52 Look at my phone No come on I think we're getting better We're working on this I think this I believe in America as a concept. I don't think it's a bad thing to believe in America as a concept. What do you mean they put it on a cop car? Yeah, it's pretty. It's imperialism, man. Right. Yeah, but it's not aggressive to you it's not aggressive But it's that thought process.

26:15 The problem is when people really focus on only negative aspects. But this group of human beings writing. It's like, are they doing this because they have to do this because this is the way the Exactly. No, but you also know that, you know, look, And in a way that you're living in the dark, and that's bad. And now we have this idea that if somebody isn't perfect, they should be just run out of town.

29:25 How do you see that happening? more water to people and there's less suffering if if climate change doesn't ruin all of that, I think if you can prop these people up and decide to act as a group what makes anybody like if why would we decide to go like if if right once those are dissolved. Well, there's only one way, motherfucker. Where are you born

31:56 If it was way easier Yeah. Uh-huh. Right. What do you do if one person lives in a and we're part of that tribe and we're part of that thing. You're really into old timey things. But I think that's a real thing. All right. with all this face recognition that they're seeing, you know, from your phone, from everything, It says it can't do more than. I get to do the side of my thumb, and it's still nose.

35:59 A minority report. I actually went through a whole UFC weigh-ins wearing a Google Glass. on everybody yeah walk around with a fucking camera everywhere i think they'll have something So the next version of the VR headsets are supposed to have brain tracking in them. beating off a hundred times a week like you imagine if they want to have a talk to you like

37:48 Whether and... They fucking painted right over that sign. our lives today in comparison to people that lived in 1920 like we were talking about earlier Yeah, they'll be fine. just get that out of your house. deny people something like that, though? phones. We have to stop. You're no more buying cell phones. so the answer you say is like no that probably won't be a problem or well no i can't stop it

40:57 coming out because it would kill their business yeah yale got together and it was like you know Do they really need this? I don't know are in debt because they have to take these student loans because college is more expensive Well, the government will subsidize some of it. Yeah. Everything costs money. A year? yeah for a whole year of your kid being in school. Yeah. And if your kid's just doing bong hits.

43:45 Be responsible. I light up. I forgot a lamp in the van. Your eyebrow's burnt off. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it should be higher than that. That's crazy. Get your undergrad. I went to UMass Boston. Oh, nice. Yeah. medicine there's certain routes where you need a degree where you really need a degree and there's probably owe taxes right and and they're now on their second job where no one cares anymore

47:49 My whole thing is, and I keep trying to say this to my daughter, is that you should never, Very wise advice. $300, headshots, right in the business. Everybody's crazy. They hide it. And there's not a lot of people that are learning these skills anymore. job force and nowadays at least in a certain segment of the personality of each university is so dominant as soon as you walk onto the campus and go into some

50:52 i'm saying is you can really learn from going on these campuses like oh this is well there's a vibe Instead of looking at it like that. things are competing together yeah that's why you have some people that are activists you meet them because you're not listening to them. There's a couple people, you know, there's a couple people I know that have gone that way so hard that you can't even have conversations with them.

52:45 single issue but if you're super combative all the time that people just don't they don't want And they're angry. They're just hardcore sports fans for the Democrats. the gym every day we were there but then i got home and i saw it on my phone i was like holy So great. Yeah. He just went to work and went to work and went to work. This was the first major he's won in 11 years.

55:18 And by yesterday, it was massive, thousands of people around the green just hanging on him. But being able to improve, that's what that guy did. It is beautiful. Yeah. yeah you know who was like and he's just got They would poison him Big plaid pants got a catchphrase all his hair is shaved except for a curly man bun that just pops straight up and it's blonde

58:22 he opened up golf Schools were starting to get involved in it. You have xenophobia. I like that. I like that. Right. Helps me. Yeah, man. No. Ooh, a lot. all moving when you're driving man i wanted your arm out the window of the car and it's flopping Go to that one. Yeah. Like a nice curtain in a fine restaurant. Yeah, Elvis got away Oh, man. He's moving around.

1:02:54 Look at that. A light teal. And it's just his. groove man oh man he was the yeah phil hartman saw him live when he was a young kid. Phil was like 18 years old. He got a job at the Whiskey. So they're a little wobbly. I was that close to Blues Traveler once. age right 35 was it that's 27 i think the magic age is 27 where they're all dying or morrison

1:05:09 that's amazing was like it's like he was right fucking there he was right there yeah come on hendrix please i wanted uh i They did not have beads, but they had the little fringe to them. One of them David Boone, Davy Crockett type dudes. Back then, it seems like they were just trying to stay alive. dry faster when wet because the fringe Oh, wow. outfits i think they um don't give a fuck you're really hot are their body temperatures much higher

1:07:36 Jesus Christ. They're cooking before we even catch them. Pre-heated deer meat. No. they're like someone with a little bit of fever oh i did something that you would you would enjoy No. They call it banya. and then they start beating you with them. hot and with the with the steam coming off of the branches as they're beating your back school russian like they did a lot of stuff on the park and or in a um a playground uh-huh just like

1:10:48 Because that'll really. So we only had time for that part. Clothing optional. She sees the dongs. San Francisco. Send ICE into that place. out grab their dog that's the first thing you're gonna grab if someone throws a tear gas canister Yeah. each other's dicks. and we're just going to let your nuts hang I felt like everybody thinks I have a small one because I got my pants up but that's not it um just get a different hobby what are you

1:13:49 That guy's around for selling diamonds. Oh yeah. And you lose that shit I lost my ring It's something that's going to engage your head and make you feel a little useful. well, what's meaningful for my, every day you're doing it just to exist. it has to be your work or do you think you could be at work where you're like kind of into it but That goes without saying.

1:16:33 always going to be hard to do that that it's easy for you to say of course it's easy for me to say of being able to make a living with just stand-up yeah like what like holy cow and not a good living just getting by guy that's great he's an awesome person too And just brilliant At his job He understands it When you were doing open mics Some other comedians Remember Bob Nelson You you know bob nelson oh yeah jeffy jeff football guy

1:19:11 I was super loose. I mean, my act was shaky as fuck back then anyway. He took me to New York to, he saw me there. that was the the thought process the insecure thought process in boss like the audiences are It wasn't like you're a clean comic because that's how you think. with a banana he was like as you're waiting to go on so he had a banana that he was like he was somehow

1:22:05 It's like combat comedy. Wow. She goes, I consider myself a feminist. I get like, especially if you're a feminist and you're around, you just don't want her But back then, it was like every time, even in good clubs like the Comic Strip oh no yeah but it was but back then it was like it every None. So much better. go into all these hellish situations so you just anywhere you go you know you can go and kill. Yeah. That's an important part to being a comedian.

1:25:00 That's what's great about the store lineup, too, right? Yeah, I think comedy is like a lot of other things that are difficult. Does that make sense? trying to think of all the different cross-training methods. You saw me play Quake earlier. It's intense. know where he is he always knows where i am and there's a limited amount of ammunition and armor

1:27:09 of these maps i'll show you that too that's more chaos oftentimes you get killed when you're But everything's addictive to me, man. That's why your shoulder's messed up. injuries and when things feel squirrely yeah it's the problem you can get hurt and then you can't all the beautiful thoughts and ideas that happen in there and while you're running

1:29:29 I've never had a relationship with a dog like this. He's connected. In the hills. Oh, yeah. Right. I'm usually like 160s running. Yeah. This is all from running hills Right You're pushing off that leg here like no no come on man give me that ball, man. My sister has to put down her dog tonight. Wow. a volkswagen ah yeah it was rough dude i brought her up i carried her up to the house did she die

1:33:14 It's brutal. I didn't get a hold of her collar in time. I brought her upstairs. Yeah. It was hard, man. Isn't that the hardest thing when you watch. How did the kids handle it? They were really sad. Yeah. It's hard, man. I think there's a lesson in it, Absolutely. Your parents are acting like assholes. Let's get out of here. Everybody around where I live is saying the same thing.

1:36:10 I have noticed mosquitoes. And the pool had not been tended to. So the pool was filled with mosquito larvae and bro i on my windows do you think that'll last will it change i don't know have you heard about this real problem right here wow yeah it's a problem it's a real problem what do i live in maine he The Asian tiger mosquito and soon stopped finding the mosquitoes in their traps.

1:39:22 right when he was talking about infectious diseases from malaria is malariaism i know when i was still living in ohio west nile virus would Jesus. Butterflies are beautiful. you would never go to a zoo and go into the moth house if you kill a ladybug you're an asshole But a ladybug has a couple dots on it if the tails grew bushy, people would stop killing them.

1:41:31 tail oh creepy little beady eyes yeah disgusting yeah but like we we have certain animals that we They don't. It's safer to eat their garbage. I know. They also kill chickens. It's still there? Time to go to war. His hand is so much smaller than his face. Look what I'm working with. They never figured it out. That would really hurt. Would you give up?

1:43:49 Like, hey, fuck off. No. eyes. I'm going to touch you now. sleeping with my five He's famous. Oh, no, really? It's not just gross Yeah It's as many rats That's a good question. The old rats sit back. If they're ever doing construction in New York in front of a restaurant, you don't eat it. Like, you give an offering to the closing down the interesting, what are

1:47:20 think there's any Average about two years, one to two years in the wild, up to four if you have it as a pet. No. But she said they were super smart and super affectionate. how long would it take for how long would it take for a domesticated rat to adapt They have like all these cute little different colors on them. You're white. how to get into the restaurant,

1:49:10 Wait till I show you. You'd be better off being a javelina. Doug lives in Bisbee, Arizona, Stanhope. No. That thing's disgusting. You see that guy shot one? Look at that. Yeah. Yeah. These fuckers run in. running in and you shoot at them yeah it's crazy you couldn't do it you couldn't get to the bow I mean, they exist in healthy enough populations that people hunt for them.

1:52:37 Yeah, but they're cuter. sometimes a hat look at this shit they're staring him down bro they're staring him down they're in See? Yeah, no, no, no. I know you can't show it. And then there's the one that was on top of the truck. They got little beady eyes At night Hey, Google. If a javelina ate a human? Someone's eaten a baby right now Yeah That's a full blown person And a baby doesn't have fur doesn't have anything i know i put his hair up

1:55:48 Where the fuck are they? there would be flies on there within a matter of moments. you mean right after i swam yeah right after you swam just shat and he didn't feed it fast enough, and it bit him. it's gross man because they will kill you. They just keep biting. If there's a few of them, that's where the real problem comes. They're not going to try to jump up and bite you in the neck.

1:57:50 you ever take your family camping i have not yeah i haven't either i would though i wanted to take Nothing? I've lived in the backcountry for like a week at a time. yeah we're supposed to cry i was just laughing cry like a bitch yeah exactly but that's funny Would you not take your family because of all of this? I'll be right back. Mountain lions? locked door and a refrigerator you fucking cave person oh i'm

2:01:20 That's near the stand. coffee that's the big thing yeah yeah look but there's nothing better than a campfire And I feel like my kids don't have that connection. I'm sorry, what? I'm going to leave'm gonna leave say that again yeah i just i can't When the alarm goes off, we'll walk one mile. right he'll be good he's got enough food on well i left him one liter of my piss

2:04:03 pull up walk 200 feet. Fox News. load them up in a I think that Why? That was one of the first hikes I did with my father. If I had Google Glass, I'd have known already. and then they'll start running the world because they'll have it early. Something's coming. You know, Sam Harris has a really interesting podcast it's out it's either the one that's

2:06:36 they're more ethical about it. interesting because the what what it goes into is about how tech companies figured out how to tap the amount of money something like facebook brings in versus what it is like what is it what are you So it's all sorts of things that they get angry about. To scan your personal photos and promoting the uploaded multimedia object

2:10:02 with the things you're looking at you know when you go through their browser they're already doing a version of that with your searches, with the things that you're looking at, you know, it's listening. And then everybody on their Instagram was getting an ad for vacationing in Boise, and so we were talking about Boise, Boise, Boise, and then everybody on their Instagram was getting an ad for vacationing in Boise.

2:10:39 I don't remember signing off on this. But these phones, they're just listening. does well the face recognition thing is there's a lot of articles on that and how that we don't i was trying to find this the first time you brought it up but i know that there's these Right. Right? But it's facial recognition. Are you guys criminals? You can buy these for $200.

2:13:46 That would be cool. Wow, that looks pretty real, though. Yeah, he's like a baby's bottom. things you're gonna have your dna bro the government they're gonna the illuminati's You can get behind hair. So if I want to find out if I'm Greek or Italian. It gives you a lot of other weird stuff, too, like that you might have certain genes for certain proclivities,

2:15:36 Oh, really? Oh, wow. Yeah, that's cool. Like, who, where was that? People didn't even know if that was their kid 50 years ago. but if you if you wanted to know a hundred years ago if you were the father of someone's child you Where if it turns out the young lady had strayed. Gotta go. supporting them and then to be switching your head like no i'm not gonna help them anymore

2:19:07 I think that's as common as... called him up because they could see his face in the video and they knew who it was because this Oh, shit. The fuck he did. That's not good. He might it's hard man i um i bumped into someone's car once and i left a note with my phone number and Yeah. So you'll always get busted. I would say 20 to 30. driving around the track but it didn't really

2:22:45 his company sued for libel and malicious falsehoods a judge dismissed the suit in october saying no so we can figure out. that the tesla roadster ran out of power while driving after just 55 miles much less than the Isn't it amazing? Well, I think the, when them making a script, if they had a script that said that Tesla was going Yeah, but there is definitely people that are...

2:25:07 Well, that's how like Sean Hannity gets away with saying that he's not a news program. Yeah. isn't that what they say like it's not that he's news he says it's entertainment oh yeah do you Sue! Oh, yeah. That'd be cool. You lost your way. Go back and start from scratch Just keep making the delicious bread. A little jog. I'll catch back up with it. Yes.

2:27:29 That you binge, that you still watch? No, she's... Ozark, yeah. I forget. When did we start? I'm going to Northampton. Mostly bands. No shit. Yeah. Okay. Doing a bunch of those kind of things. Is it actually a winery place where and they have stand-up they stand up there wow mostly bands no shit yeah We were filming a turkey hunting episode. I'll pay.

2:29:55 And eating, you know, just delicious steak. you know it's not like just we were just mocking those guys the entire time drinking wine getting lit talking shit having fun that's one of the TomPapa on the Instagram. Always great to have you, bro. All right.