Joe Rogan Experience #1288 — Jon Reep Transcript

Transcript

0:00 So that is great. We scare calories, bro That's how you stay alive That's true I mean, I got plenty of calories already Just a little while? Okay Oh, shit. No one's going to know what a hammy is. Well, I said, listen, if they want me to do another commercial, see if you can get a vehicle out of them. Suzuki Sidekick. And float it in the air Red Nostalgia

2:07 What's the LL Cool J version? I totaled that thing in North Dakota one time. And I'd just wave it at them, like, what is he doing? That's next level. Black, a lot of chrome. I mean, they hated parking that thing in that lot because it's gigantic. It's a fucking giant vehicle. He goes, no. I think most people know how to Anyone under 30 Can drive a stick

4:17 You want to try? And so I'm pulling out of the lot, and it's like, oh, shit, it's been a minute. I mean, what do you prefer? But if you're on a mountain road, like the Angels Crest Highway, and you want to shift. She's driving stick shifts like, oh, she's a rebel. I didn't even know you then. that jamie pulled up what is that goofy thing called uh these are good right i don't feel like

6:58 Why go back and go back to that now? Do you ever go sideways on your iPhone? Have you tried it on an iPad? It's not perfect, Look at that. And you're committed to like an Android phone Yeah that would be gone Go to the future It's not even that bad Get it fixed? Right. No big deal. I have to scroll up to make a T. But this is another one Now they're not gonna

9:24 All I'm seeing is like yeah It looks thinner, and it looks like they just nailed the design better. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I mean, I'm trying to imagine the advantages and disadvantages of watching porn on that thing. is way better because it's going to be Why would you do that? It's like, the phone's bad enough. Yeah. He pulls into my driveway You can't figure your way

12:03 Oh, E10. Like I think I got lost Be worth some money And everything to other things. and that thing was hard. When I would leave and she'd have? Well, I was married at the time And that thing was hard We didn't need it Yeah. My first car was a 1973 Chevelle. Yeah. I had it for a day Yeah Nothing about it. Just hydroplaning up Just hydroplaning I was in a Fiera

14:59 They were so small those cars are so gross when people do that. Wow. Right. doing two cars yeah so he just left his car there fixed totally by slamming into a car that was just Yeah. It's like they're trying to figure out Right. Yeah. But now, you know what you get when you get a New York City cab driver? And shows. He probably has their own little loop that they play.

18:37 What are you giving these people? You sign that thing. That's gold. They have to sign a release. get in the cage you fucking piece of shit. Showing their face. Have you seen that? What if they count as residents of the state? How'd you win this election? Tulsi Gabbard's my girl. I give up. Isn't there, what is the biggest one? 50,000 spread out. 50 to 60,000.

22:15 I'm going to say a little lighter. Oh, shit. Killers, not people who smoke weed. Okay. That's the thing that popped up. That's the one I think you're talking about. 23 hours a day. Kill with your own brain. You're suffering. Chelsea Manning By herself I'm like looking around It's got 1,000 And I was off by a factor of 10 Although it makes sense private prison?

25:09 Like as her being Or do you say Caitlyn? yeah yeah i'm i'm wearing it's time for. Yeah, it's time to get my legs waxed. What do we got? Reeves County Detention Complex in Pesos, Texas has a combined capacity of 3,763 prisoners The 3,300, 3,500. Pretend you're a girl. Right. I hate facts With the times bro Yeah Yeah What It might be half That's about as big as it gets

27:44 That's a lot though If you go to a theater. But I think when she was locked up again for contempt of court but i think when And then, as a female, does he go to a female prison? Oh, okay, there you go. that we broke everything. That was what I heard, but I would say that too if I lost. This is the woman who's winning world records. That seems like a very strong man.

30:22 300? kind of weight, you have to be a real outlier. What does this guy, one guy in the comments whoever you are because people tolerate this decides he identifies this is officially this is you're enabling people to do something that's preposterous this has nothing to do with I want to see that in the NFL. Right. Most people don't compete in organized sports.

33:06 yeah in fact all jacked right jack like a boy it's like a boy wrestling girls it's crazy probably I wonder if they remove those parts, you know, because they do hysterectomies on women when What do they do? where they can do it genetically. If you knew that a woman It is a scientific fact that you are going to keep a very big percentage of your body has been artificially boosted to this superior level yeah through these drugs yeah

34:55 I'm cool with it. Because everyone's supposed to be looking out for women. God damn it. When will it snap back? They're not gonna beat him There's another four years He's very able, I should say, but he's a wounded veteran. And Instagram took it down for violating their terms of service. That's. do they give you a reason? Okay. So they didn't do it, but who took it down then?

38:03 Yeah, I don't know. Instagram could be lying Yeah That's what was sent back to him. Yeah. Yes, he did. It said, wounded veteran violated community standards by posting with Donald Trump Jr. I think you also have Anybody can go Fucking with them Sure. I don't know. A supernova explosion of ones and zeros just busting all over the place. Like, just that one account.

40:58 I follow a lot of other people. Let me see What's really funny Right see tyron tyron whitley you know ufc uh top welterweight former champion had a thing on his This shit ain't funny, but dog. I don't know how to hog that, people. I follow R. Kelly Multiple times What is it? Bitch, I wish you would burn my motherfucking clothes. I'm sorry. Trifling is the best African American saying of all time Trifling

43:55 You can't be trifling He's out there trifling again He's out there trifling again. You know? How many people do you think had to look it up before Webster had to answer this question? Oh, my God. Yeah, that's a word, bro. in the Closet? Yeah. There was a whole series Yeah. And it's like... It's animated. Eat It? Yeah, it is. What was he, 12? 76 When I was a kid

47:06 He'll sell out places Yeah But everyone's smart Oh, this is what I was going to say. That's ever been created Have you ever seen that? Yeah. My sister, I mean my sister, my daughter sits in front of the TV cackling watching it. for laughter well i don't know yeah i mean he's covered in crazy makeup i think what she was laughing at though in all fairness was he was making fun of someone subscriber six million

49:31 It looks like a Kardashian right there. john reed just boom what's next just pops up yeah so like these people that no network in their And just let it keep going Are essentially designed Next! That's like the argument It keeps me wanting to... A good couple punches to the face. on a subway. And this dude's like to say like an old Middle Eastern couple that are on a subway.

52:01 punching the shit out of him. And he comes down there, and then Those are the best ones. How often does he smack her Or he must think So I think he felt like that cops on us you're keeping uh yeah the people on us now a little bit until too much alcohol is But when you have kings Right. Like North Korea. He's executed a bunch of people. I'm sure people are killing people for someone right now you know some of them deserve it yeah give them an extra

55:39 It's not really common, but it happens. A lot of really interesting things, but two that really stood out was one that these people would have probably because the fact instead of name them because if you name them it's like oh there's dolores oh dolores killed So but we did Was a And really young Fucked up a little bit We're happy you're alive Which, still, a 30-pound cat is fucking terrifying.

57:45 he choked it going around the internet oh yeah I would think Yeah Wisconsin has a shit And it's a lot of you know woods up there Because it was just getting dusk and I was in Alberta. No. Look at the size of this motherfucker. That's what that is Yeah Uh huh And so they got desperado. What'd you do up there? that's the words i remember uh it was this program founded by dwight d eisenhower in the 40s of a

1:01:26 Dude, you should tell it. Not on purpose. would just eat with them and hang out or whatever and um so i was just talking this kid you know that my mom gave me they're going to love it. so exchanging addresses, I had no idea. kid out the russian cop and now it's just me and this russian cop and i'm looking at him and he's Did you see, like, lines in the street for food or anything crazy like that?

1:04:17 So, but yeah, there was, you definitely tell there was definitely some poverty going on here and there. It's always been an interesting country. Yeah. I mean, he was scary. The new one. Rocky was or IV? I think it was IV. Yeah. Drago's son is fighting Apollo Creed's son. Probably not someone that's already famous over here. This is my son. Jesus Christ.

1:06:21 I'm 5'8". Or that he's 5'7 See that makes sense in high school i always put like people are bigger now 11 people are bigger now we're old people that During this movie Cause they were always Yeah he talked about that Yeah Don't let people hit you bro Also has Like Screw screws in his neck from doing the expendables. Damn. He hit my heart so hard Jesus

1:08:51 He's uh Wouldn't let anybody see it Right? risky yeah right yeah think of the most handsome person in the world most beautiful woman in the There is a shit scene Is that a Farrelly Brothers movie Yeah where he's like Yeah. Full on. I need to look that up again You remember them so fondly We're going to make your hair just fan out randomly. Really? That's just Brandon.

1:12:14 He's got to. Like pro pool players look down on bowlers. Have you bowled recently? I think that's it. Oh, that's hilarious. down the damn middle i do it as hard as humanly possible or it's just disturbing for people to Look at all that you did. You're just breaking the balls over and over again. It's the same thing every time. I know the combinations are different in the way they collide and

1:15:07 But it's huge in the East Coast. Well, I see all those pins. That's not what I was talking about. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. People gambling on high lie? Oh, okay. If you look at them, they're thin pins. tried to tell me explain oh it was joey he was explaining to me how highlight works that it's would it be if he uh He's falling down Oh, he soccer flopped it

1:18:04 Right A little bit more Who analyzed Go to Andrew Schultz's, I think it's Kevin Durant. That's it. Well, it's not even a self-defense move. So in the hopes that there'll be a foul. I'm just kidding. To play the game. towards the other player because the guy's there. 60 more than anybody in the league. Because you have to give the guy a space to land.

1:21:24 That's why they're talking about it, it really and they stopped calling it because people are Well, yeah, because it's going to ruin the NFL. No. change so much you have to change so much in the way people there's so many different factors the Now I'm thinking, you know what? Were padded The only way you're gonna Are getting brain damage week save it for the real game will be amazing if they ever came up with something that definitively

1:24:30 It's a wild ass sport though. Fuck the fuck out of here. i was like he's not squashing me the fuck out of here the hardest i've ever been hit was by a like 20-yard head start. Yeah. unlike anything in sports other than a car accident. Pull out in the pit stop. Get out of the car Wow So it's But it's not as fun as Formula One. Right. Yeah. It's the same track

1:27:45 this watch okay here pray yeah one on the left and two of them whoa look at how much faster they are See how the line, the perfect racing line is cut into the groove? I've been on a racetrack. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's like a wall. anything like a real car too many sponsors are all over it even if you have a really nice car Yeah. Exactly, yeah. Cops used to have the shittiest cars, man.

1:30:45 They make them wear those stupid shoes. Daytona was on the ocean. I believe so. They are convertibles. Yeah. It's easier to get out when you don't have a roof. I don't want to say, because we're on the internet. Like the cars of today. You couldn't even tell you're going that fast Right They're way safer Isn't electric cars zero to 60 way quicker than gas?

1:33:20 It's got four-wheel drive. It's stupid. I would love to have one. Well, it was a couple things. and the market was really good well if I'm going to do this and I It's not like I need to be here Wow. you know, And I moved back to Hickory, and I was going to get myself a nice lake house in Lake Hickory. What are we going to eat? we haven't eaten yet one eye's going like that and it's like this is a stroke and we called

1:36:45 I didn't see that happen No he just hit the floor. That it wasn't already there The X right UTI infections So he's got a catheter, Like it really devastates you Do they think that he'll be able to recover some function on his left side? Here you go. Yeah. three years later can recover you need a there you go yeah three years later yeah i mean you know so we're just still we're still doing

1:39:31 He used to smoke a lot when he was younger and then quit when he was in his late 40s. Uh-huh. I was there last night That's not me I'm glad they hug too roasting was a thing of the past it was old friars Club type deal Yeah it was like old Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin That's also the difference too bust your balls otherwise i'm just being a dick exactly but it is just being a dick a lot of time

1:41:53 The best ones are the quickest right to the joke. I wish I had that skill. What's this ba-da-boomboom-bada-bing shit? Yeah. Whatever was popular. Really And then I would I'm actually proud of this dance. Oh, that's before the beard. Russia. In Raleigh, North Carolina It is So that you know I don't know thinking okay i got this well it's been a week. I've nailed it.

1:45:37 Was it the dimensions of the room? It's also the town. Yeah, town's great. It's a college town. Yeah. It's also the capital. You know, like, you go to a one-nighter, it's a bar. Johnny, go get that amplifier. First one outside of a club was like a one-nighter pool hall. Yeah. That place is the shit. There's 8x10s of comics. tonight which is like a three hour you know drive and he died on the way there some drunk driver

1:49:05 Yeah. That's tiny as shit. Shout out to the Dorfmans. But I was bummed out when they lost the punchline in Atlanta. that sign on the back wall that said quit trying to be hicks yeah yeah in the because there was That's right I did a good practical joke Not tell him. Well, the first thing he did, There's no access to a bathroom. that you're not even gonna remember that i told you there's mustard all over this

1:52:47 And you're welcome, new wife. In a weird way, I was like God. Who sang that song? Probably. That's on my playlist of working out. you hear that song, you do the best you can at it. I'm hustling up here on the treadmill. And then I also do a soundtrack from Flash Gordon, Queen. Rocky, obviously. The first one I saw was the shitty one in the 80s. And it had old TV shows.

1:55:31 think flash gordon was probably from the 50s right it was a comic book wasn't it yes yeah it's I think Flash Gordon the movie now How weird does he look? So you can watch a video It's so But, I mean, I'm saying. Joe Nash. How many episodes do you think That's a jackhammer This thing Yes Yeah, that's their weapon Cause if you think of that movie Yeah

1:58:28 Their future was, what was it? Where Biff was the billionaire now. It holds up. I went to the Hollywood Bowl and watched Back to the Future. They do that I did a show there once though No inside There's concerts there and shit How weird is that The horror movie Yeah Sinistria They you know I was there watching a purple rain and dave chappelle was there

2:00:39 There's this one scene where Apollonia is walking off and he's mad and he just whips 80 pounds. this movie. He hits her in the movie. Wow. You put it in my head. I'm barely even on Twitter. Is that more of a thing? You've got mail Friendster Is going to be the next thing? Yep. Where are you going to be next? I'm a huge fan. And then Toledo J-O-N Okay