Joe Rogan Experience #1289 — Eddie Izzard Transcript

Transcript

0:00 3, 2, 1, boom! And we're live! That there's a French word for it that we just ignore here in America. thought why has the h dropped off for america i think it's because but a lot of french guys would That was her thing, right? the Revolutionary War and you have a Y We're going to say woo a lot and we're going to get rid of the Y in tires. For honor.

2:15 a's which i can't hear strong boston coming out of you yeah i got rid of it i heard myself on Hard, hard tar. everyone is actually the same when you get down below a level but you know if you're going to smashed together what would be we, 65 million? because i'm just going to go to that place which is miles away that's understanding of you but i And I've, yeah, when I toured Asia, but unfortunately it was kind of in, out, you know, touring gets in and out.

6:06 it's like muay thai fights and chaos and a lot of expats wandering around drinking it's just even if they were there before and during the time of war or after, sense of it i have not played they haven't been there but i got that sense that they were They can run it however they want to run it. life on on a military that sounds a bit weird i run my career on a military thing it's quite

8:48 mode and i do drama dramatic films in boy mode and then i'm touring in girl mode and doing stand-up I wanted to express this side of myself, and it's built in. ah, that is only a good shot with a gun. And they don't care either, the tigers. which would be the equivalent of your Delta Force. easier but um yeah so i decided to do that in 85 when it wasn't cool and i got i've had a lot of

11:59 caitlin jenner and the the movement that you're you're seeing for to accept people that want to do whatever and anything they want to do. Yeah, there is more. And global was whatever it was. But as economics get better, people have less kids. So I'm a glasses two-thirds full person. clothes and dresses and makeup on stage did people think it was a gimmick what did they think they

14:56 you say men ah men if i'm ethnic background you say white people oh it's white people So I thought, I better wear a dress that puts the makeup on. thing about coming out. Is it mostly men? You know, people, okay, it doesn't quite look together, but, you know, life's tough enough. and I fuck you it was nine months ago they knew exactly I have to give you, why do I have to give you?

17:29 Because he said he's going to do it. Well, he always did. that is yes that is the hatred thing is You're a funny comedian. Like when you were doing – I mean, you maybe exercised a little bit, well if i'm going to do 43 that's going going to be – I'm going to be training forever. The first marathon, you must have been like, what the fuck? And you can't really rejoice.

20:56 bathing in surgical spirit which you call something else um it's it's a it's a ethanol because I did 27 mountains in 27 days in South Africa in 2016, to do this crazy asshole and the brain goes what kind of marathon shall we run today as opposed to what the fuck are you doing what kind of marathon yeah well i think that's our land is my land the you you become like it's your land it's like it's everybody's land because

23:16 And he said, oh, hello. It's not people shouting from the sides. yeah you brought up that picture hours is what they're trying to break now so this is really slow but then having done 42 marathons and side effect is rhabdomyolysis which i couldn't spell being dyslexic and i was peeing brown pee I'd done some training before that one. After day four, on an anti-cholesterol drug, trying to control my cholesterol, and I started

26:07 Yeah, it's apparently something that happens when fighters overtrain as well. deaths yeah well they said this you said you carry on right running now in 2012 you won't make it so So you run one marathon. hours 10 that's damn good yeah it was good enough and there's they got a they got a comrade's Why did you have to speed up? in the thing drive me to pretoria stop me off and then i'll run there and we'll just continue it on

29:34 i need to just run that distance so i ran the distance off but the time had got behind so i and we got there about 13 minutes And so they kept talking. And they say, we've got this idiot who's just run 27 marathons. go but i i crossed into a line of well if you're going to do that and you i hate i know you do some And that was my civilian selection for my own whatever,

31:58 So if you come out, you could stay in the closet. And I thought I should mention it because if people shout and scream at me in the streets, You had a fight on the streets because of this? He kept giving me stuff. i was doing this blocking yeah from a jujitsu book that i taught myself jujitsu from a book if you powerful men try to manipulate him and throw him around and he effortlessly watch this this old man when you see him he's very very old and he's

34:33 because it's really old. It's really amazing. Like, it's incredible. throws like judo there are throws in jujitsu, but it really comes from judo. You're never going to see a heavyweight in the UFC fight a bantamweight, in so many things that they do not know what you're going to do and i kind of adopted of mixed martial arts, which you see It's sort of a life attitude.

38:02 Move through things. for you. I know, we're going to check in like stand up when I'm filming Match fit for life. Because that's what I noticed. And I think as time goes on, you know, people get back into training or whatever. a you know recovery time but i would just do hit training high intensity interval training every morning and then the ability to just drop three

40:56 Right, right. And I kind of know, I feel that even if I don't know that for sure. get up really early really early run in the, run in the morning, run at lunch. Running at dawn is beautiful. Well, that's for people. They know it's metal, and metal doesn't taste very good. Lions are kind of organized like that. Black death, they call them. If you think about bulls

43:22 Now think of them but wild Yeah, if they find you to be a threat at all, like flipping Because I feel that buffalo there are acting like the local townspeople. Oh, it's actually not nearly as high as I thought it was. a documentary about this one particular strain of lion that there was a apparently the river split sides or the river changed its path and it turned this area into an island and the lions had

45:52 so it's hard to tell you'd have to compare them to a regular lion but there's some images of these rolled up at all times she was trying to take better photographs, and the cat reached in and grabbed her and pulled her out of the vehicle and killed her. Yeah. No, it was... Reached in, grabbed her, and pulled her out. I played my cards. 10 or 11 or something and i felt you know once you're over the 10 mark and i'd never got there

48:15 Did you tell them, hey man, I was on medication? just go get it done and then day five was in hospital. Day six was in hospital as well. Yeah, I'd say 110, 115, somewhere up there. cool black dude and he was there in south africa and eastern east london it's called is the city So, yeah, that's what my body was saying. And the sun was great, a sunset going down.

50:46 And then I ran another marathon and I said, hang on, you're just left foot right foot left foot right foot breathe in breathe out yeah it's i'm saying it is but i just find it beautiful and i do know that you're getting vitamin d in you're getting You need to get outside more. I've my knees have never gone people say running on the knees my knees have not gone I've got a

53:02 They developed a running shoe with a fat heel, and they changed the way people way people run they change their gait and it's responsible for a lot of injuries Yeah, but even then, I mean, most people, if you just give them, if they're barefoot, like children, for example. and they naturally know to run on the balls of their feet that's how they naturally run and when

54:48 And very uneven surface, very hard on the foot. gonna be better for that i prefer you not to be in these so i said okay you tell me what shoes to I ran with flags. So I learned to say, Molo, Molo. What did he give you? Yeah, he's bald, but he's a transgender guy. mode i can but i tend to uh do sort of block periods now but when i campaign i'm in girl

57:36 They go, oh, he seems to be quite confident, Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. well in boy mode do you have you but you've given thought to transitioning yep yeah yeah um but uh I don't know if you know about the Steve McQueen story. but he's just a small that's how they got that equal billing you know how do you put equal billing if They want to make sure that their name is read first.

1:00:03 and his dad was just never there. Because if you know that film at the beginning, They go up to Boot Hill to bury this Indian guy up at Boot Hill and people are not allowing it. God, he's got all this stuff here. Yeah, he was a fascinating guy, Steve McQueen. But he would also do crazy things. That's my theory of the universe. and we could have a sixth,

1:03:01 transparent things are the more you can check hey that guy's lying about that you know if we could work out what's the more we can check. Hey, that guy's lying about that. a lot of good stuff on that. Yeah. There's a bunch of those little terms, like Fagazi. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, Fagazi became a big word. Charles ponzi there he is jeff ponzi look at that dirtbag look at him he looks happy 1920 he's about to leap over his own walking the roaring 20s just

1:04:32 It'd be nice. which is where the prime minister of the country can choose when they have an election, And then in 2017, having been in for only two years, Theresa May was persuaded that if you go for election now, you're going to win big. And then you have to allow, I six weeks for election campaign but yeah that's we do that i think other countries do that but i'm sure to america you go that sounds crazy but

1:06:17 Well, Arne Schwarzenegger, you know about him, because he went away and then came back No, I would do it. But if I was just doing it for myself, well you can write books you'd have to write really he was just doing it for fun no i'm We're either going to wipe ourselves off the planet or we're going to make it a fair world for 7.5 billion people where you have a right to have a fair world, enough democracy transparency enough money to live a life to have a family not everyone not billions of people living on one dollar a day

1:09:10 vision of the future and i know when i came out as transgender in 85 there was no way i could special forces i'll do this civilian that is a hilarious group of choices special forces or And I would take risks in these areas of, you know, I'll go out and people say things in the street, whatever they do, and do this and i would take risks in these areas of of you know i'll go out and people say

1:10:58 any guidance yet they're sort of just out there wild and they're trying to outdo each other Yes. people for whatever various thing they're doing trying to get public shame against people especially is the opposite it's terrible for them it's terrible for everybody but they have this natural the Queen's pictures on the front. And two people trolled this, I think two women,

1:13:39 them in their eye yeah i just think it's a piss poor way to communicate with people i don't i I used to, when I was doing stand-up in the clubs and people might shout out, fuck off, you asshole, you know, from the front. And I thought, no, actually, I'm not worried about them. they say yeah you're a loser he just yes exactly no you he was the loser and then i just connected

1:15:47 build the wall stuff yeah yeah and it's it's one side of the other there's no one in the middle different time and native americans didn't have this idea of oh we mark this off and we've What do you think about? be something okay then you can go off and you can retrain or you could live your life and and then there's artificial intelligence parity by 2050

1:18:31 They're old enough to vote. the way for humanity to go forward. Or you could be fearful and suspicious. Hang on, no, back off you're saying the same words or not i think if you're not saying the same words it's easier for probably use their own language first and talk to their own country people first and then they So I haven't done it in the field.

1:21:14 or you could take the the camera and you look at it and it translates yeah foreign languages into and then we don't get a hit of, So trying to keep ourselves happy say in america if certain parts of america or european union are having a tough time then money So wars of conquest, I don't think they're going to happen anymore They didn't need defense.

1:23:40 Yeah. And then, you know, wars of defense, do they? anything like when stalin was menacing in his own country no one you know because about 30 million They have parasites. could do it well hang on this is just a thing if you spend all your time just marching up and down rallies you're always gonna have like weird pockets of racism and where you think you're

1:26:41 It's happening everywhere. If there was a God, I don't believe in a God, but if he did come down and said, what are you guys doing? test for God, because 60 million people no no he didn't come in i mean he didn't catch the bomb in midair going hey there's kids down there That's pretty fucking horrific as well. No intervention whatsoever from the big guy. No.

1:27:55 And I know I'm not taking the. I mean, how fanatical do you need? And it's more the Japanese than any other country in Asia. and that is they incorporated a lot of things that other people didn't, including like leg kicks and knees and elbows. wow yeah it's just it's with thailand it's very strange because they're so friendly they're so Thailand's a weird place.

1:30:18 No, they did nothing in Vietnam. No, that's right. I remember the whole thing. They were holding on, So, I mean, I'm with you in that I am ridiculously optimistic. This global world, which we thought was going to be a beautiful thing, and then people said, Otherwise, I just wouldn't be here. I try and plan ahead because if I randomize it, if I just float – because a lot of people do, wow, this happened and then that happened and then I was – and that could be a wonderful life.

1:32:49 sometimes usually i'm pedaling faster than the speed of the river to try and guide myself through and push our society in a more positive direction towards a better world because human beings are constantly striving for improvement and innovation between the right and the left and people lying on both sides You know, somebody that needs these things to go on.

1:36:10 in this agreement so i i can't quite work out humanity i do think positive i do think the And also, once we get to a good place, I've noticed that a lot of people will say, that maybe the but the percentage of positive things to negative things has never changed over I think our tribe is better than your tribe. Because those conversations were happening in a slightly different way,

1:38:25 because we were just another animal I think Michael Collins in the command module I mean, that's what they think, right? and no one ever mentioned, That's all they did. and suddenly huge ones? they're going to treat us the same way and I fly to Caen in Normandy. Yeah, yeah. obviously on one side, Well, I did French at school for eight years. potentially, or be on television in English.

1:42:52 So they met and laughed in a second language, which I think is an amazing thing. I'll give you an example. One day he would finish up as a salad. But maybe about half a second later, So you have to go to Thai prison. you just have to pick up the words and our survival instincts would pick them up and then you might have a strong accent but you'd to work

1:45:14 dangerous well I know it Non. or do you have So I'm saying these jokes, and I'm going, Or maybe bring it right up. Can you learn from us? I met a kid from Kathmandu in New York Well, I'm a student. I got there in 2017. So they were getting over that. because it's shanghai i thought you were saying mainland china comedy party no sorry the communist and William the Conqueror and stuff.

1:48:30 So have you never written your act down? initially me and my partner Rob and we did weird things like escaping from a Yeah, ridiculous. This is awful. and I was doing escapology is that what I think Google will tell us Here's a word. Well, no. there you go from ropes and chains thing called the edinburgh festival we have scotland yeah you know that one so i did 12 of

1:51:11 So I was useless at this. I think it's neurons, right? It's like there's – Something. Really? Yeah. There's something about the stomach. You look into it with fighting. I think it's neurons, right? If you've ever seen... talk to no one and build up an audience. I would set out these tea cozies, which are little If I just kept talking, a bit like in your podcast here,

1:52:34 and so there will be a definite end and then you can say now don't go and please can you give me They can just walk off, and they often did. on the streets of London. or they could rig up something. I will do work-in-progress shows, which I took from Lily Tomlin, who did a lot of work-in-progress shows, and then she did her show on Broadway, I think.

1:54:16 But that didn't sort of work for people not know this but i were you know i went to i was living in northern ireland and we were born in And I was training on a marathon, dog dogs were woofing at me danger will robinson why have you never written anything down um well i found initially i started You go in and there's fruit. well, that's a poo shop.

1:57:20 have which people say it's supposed to be improvisational it's not it's it's just um i i am It becomes like a prayer. any point in the show i can just stop it and go what are walls why have we got walls we've got I sub-vocalize. They do this speed reading, and they just shun, shun, And they tested me and they said I'm severely atypically dyslexic. read much faster now i can do things i just think you're stuck with that but it means you think

2:00:25 and opposite and funny um caesar you should you know i'm going for the salad line when i said And the art of comedy is to relay your life in a humorous way. Is that what you enjoy the most? Like illegally? You just had to scribble things down. City? train from the south coast of England where all the big stars would come in. No, no. bridge a bit like where eagles dare the film you know anyway someone on the gate and some people

2:03:41 I didn't get nothing going. So you can actually creep around a bit. Can you continue? I marched around for two hours, and I marched out. What is it? It's near Hastings, Brighton, South Coasterfield. make friends and be ambassadors and because there was obviously fascism in Germany and there were And at the top it has a British flag and then the Nazi swastika next to it.

2:06:58 word exists that trump actually means to one up and better i'm not even gonna go there it's crazy Well, I was going to be an actor. school i'm nothing and there's no girls here and i can't do this and oh well body's changing all I just make up rubbish. so I've run these oh wow I'm doing But normally, if you do comedy, they won't let you do drama. radio at the same time.

2:09:31 Yeah, he's stunning. Yes, I can absolutely feel that. I've watched every single episode and now going through We were copying you guys. What was it? And the guy who plays him in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is very good as well. And I play them. and I call him the Jesus Christ of comedy thing makes it a little it's a little homogenized like him like in even his struggle it's almost

2:12:47 Very quickly. it wasn't realistic but it was still it was as a person who makes a living doing stand-up comedy it was great so I had no direction I did We don't know those guys. he's talking about n, and you go, I don't do any topical stuff. I don't do And Python did this as well. It's like the things that were naughty back then, because they're forbidden.

2:16:14 so it doesn't have the force anymore. unfortunately, accidentally, a friend of mine stole one of his jokes and didn't know that he actually just thought of the same premise yeah Lenny was ahead of us. It was all like really like down the middle squeaky clean and he wore suits But now that I know what that was, it was a certain belt of how you're going to play. Look at that.

2:18:29 is the merv griffin show i mean really didn't have any options that's how you perform yeah who made it insanely personal and he was insanely vulnerable on stage and also he I love it. What are you going to do? that's literally him like on the wall back there the mugshot that's the same era could be that then some of those bits eventually would be on some of his more famous albums later it was great

2:22:14 like endlessly all the time uh way more than it used to before so and there's lots of clubs and And it wasn't used, and some guy would would say hey, I'll run a club up here You just jump in taxis and zip between different gigs. Like they do in New York. There's no top to the career now. twice now and it's just gorgeous yeah i've never played there but i've been there for a few times

2:24:14 Right. No, I must have. I like a lot of things that you would think I wouldn't like. There's barriers and stuff. Well, it's beautiful, too, because it's all outdoors. I was reading the definitive thing on Robin Williams and, you know, how he would jump into clubs and do stuff and go. if I'm completely going scattergun, if it's a comedy club, Why has it got two E's in it?

2:26:48 uh if i do pig farming talking about pigs and stuff okay they never talk about pig farming I can do it whatever mode I want now. yeah no I will just say, I don't know. I talk about the fights. would yes well um if not a spokesperson i was someone who was going to talk about it at least was found living in one of the caves in the park in in new york and he found to have a lot of women's

2:30:20 And then after the marathons, it became a different thing. He said, hey, Eddie Izzard, you run all those marathons, Well, that's what my, I mean, I didn't have a negative opinion of you. That actually does cover it. About six million, seven million dollars. It was just a number of things. we're trainers we train we work out the training regimes for for the army and so we were very

2:33:36 But they respect you. But if you say, hi, nice weather today. they're really interesting people probably just blow up in their 20s and stuff and because they yeah. just talk about things If you're asking me for answers on that, I haven't really got them. And we already do that in restaurants. I've heard of it working in a school as well. but a lot of women don't want to be in a washroom with men though well they already are going into

2:36:54 in a way that it seems like it doesn't put them I don't know what it has. really what you i mean if someone's being a creep in a bathroom the problem is the creep it's not place where people just go to the loo and behave like adults even the kids seem to behave more The Romans just sit down there and have a poo and have a chat. We don't want to admit that we have the poo.

2:40:05 can have a positive any positive role models that go out there that do other things you know just He said there would be no black people in major leagues at all, and it was blocked from about 1890, something like this, all the way through to 1950s. Just live and let live. in my field in fighting right um there's been some, there have been, And it became a giant issue, and people were outraged and angry.

2:42:26 I don't have the answers of everything. you a feeling of relief unbelievable i mean you my stepmother's clothes and stuff so i thought well hang on i'm having exactly the same desire to express myself in that way so i just wanted to express myself in that way And they're like, I'll buy this lipstick. And some women don't. And I do it that way. Yeah. And you don't tend to look terrible when you first come out. You go, well, that doesn't work with that. finally came out the relief though yeah um just you could just be yourself yeah just uh and you

2:45:28 because you've no longer got this hellish secret. they don't talk about it they hide it and and i'm like god if you just let it go yeah i mean people in No, I was four or five when I first knew and it has not moved those thoughts. And that certain people are just like they're somewhere in like where you are. So I went in and they could talk about racism because I was running a salute to Mandela, 27 years he had to spend in prison.

2:48:19 Did you run into girls that had an issue with it? relationship and then there's the being transsexual and that goes on so that all gets complicated you So I'm going off on this weird trip. All the wild animals african and birmingham and it's such a stupid line to go on you know there's no logic to where i'm what is he on about? Yeah, and I think it's sort of funny, a little bit funny, but it's probably more funny for me.

2:51:39 going right you might want to go with it you might not want to go with it right keep to the script And because when we did the play Lenny, riffing. And I thought, whoa, this is and the weird stuff oh so the place starts off dead yeah you start off dead by so when he killed himself in the Three months of that. So you think it was just contemplating his existence,

2:54:09 so let's get some good water on, let's eat some healthy food Oh, it's o'clock there. You're used to it. Edinburgh Festival, in charge of anything there's just no rules yeah i've seen dave chapelle do that uh dave chapelle As you see in Washington Square Party, you see that. I think he might have come over to England at one point. This was a lot of fun.

2:56:05 I'm around which is kind of beautiful Billings if not Alaska? I just love playing, you know, I just love playing around the world. Thank you.