Joe Rogan Experience #1303 — Tommy Chong Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Tommy Chong, ladies and gentlemen. We'd open it up like a big old packet of rolling papers and pull out the albums back then, the actual record. I'll be 81 Friday. I'm 30 years older than you. That's what I found out. Okay. I guess it, no. That's a good question Yeah. still got more shit to do. But my main exercise is tango. Really? or a dance called tango,

3:46 and she has to dance with a stranger why is that i think it's you're too intimate too personal you and then she can do a couple of steps. But the stranger, you know, the woman has to really listen to the moves if she's dancing with a stranger or a teacher. And it can get so intimate, man, that you really felt after a good dance with a good tango teacher, you really feel like having a cigarette.

5:47 and we got offered to do the Siskel Kid. And so we stopped ever since I can remember, you know. birthday um i was the video operator because i didn't know how to dance that well. Really? I played a tournament golf last week, and I did the best I've ever done. I got about a 36 handicap, something like that. So it'd probably make your golf game better.

8:32 Well, there's also a pause. Waiting. Yeah We did it, we did it, we did it Kevin Hart was the judge. Oh, man. Wow. Well, with my being there. most people agree that it's not a good idea to smoke pot when you're stoned sometimes that's what i'm saying yeah like in jujitsu uh most You get baffled. The lazy ass doctor said, well, we won't do it. And but I had a biopsy when I had to find out because I was going to do the growth hormone.

11:52 know so but now i'm i'm totally healed now and and i'm i'm good to go you know the only thing Wow. so we might as well do their prostate too. So they fixed the prostate clean with radiation. They said, we're down there anyway, so we might as well do their prostate too. I think it was the weed that did it too, because it's all about blood flow down there.

13:49 I mean, it was so depressing to hear that you were going to jail for making bongs. there i couldn't smoke they tested me all the time they tried to catch me and they had nothing to how the fuck are you arresting Tommy Chong? Which one? And he had been in a tax. He's like one of the straightest guys I ever met. And so this accountant Nothing illegal.

16:50 Especially if you're Trump. His accountant has nothing to do with the federal government. the money no the whole trump family's going to go down you think so oh for sure taxes man al capone to donald trump you can't evade taxes so do you think that he owes taxes Obama's got control of the FBI, CIA, everybody. Or you mean the FBI can't do anything? Right.

19:27 Nothing. anything illegal you know she wasn't looking to get financed to her hotel by the russians I don't know if I buy it. Why? They infiltrated the Hell's Angels. Look at that. That's some stony-ass theory right there. You're the supreme leader. Here's all the evidence you need to impeach him. And now the Democrats, they got to figure out, are we going to impeach him. Here's all the evidence you need to impeach him.

22:41 Really? Can you find one thinker in that backing group? kissing close to racist and i know that mentality and so pure ignorance yeah pure ignorance and because you're paranoid you're wait a minute if you have a gun you're not intelligent because You know. if you think you have something that's worth someone else's life, then you are ignorant. Into the ocean.

25:46 Oh sure And put him in the He freaked out It's fear. Well, you don't read about that much. And then there's justifiable homicides by the police. It does happen occasionally. And then what if it's your daughter or something coming in late at night and you mistake her for. I grew up in the country. Did you ever think about moving back up there? Oh, no. I lived up there. Oh, really? Oh, that's right. You're Canadian. Hawks are coming down to get your chickens or some stuff like that.

29:19 he got bored and there's a muskrat swimming across the thing, so he shot it with a shotgun. And he walks out into the middle of the slough, Yeah, I got some, what do you call it, patches, you know, sharpshooter, 300 yards. it you know just like walking around the skill saw you know you can have a license to carry a Look at me. But people do that for recognition.

31:37 What's true, the craziest thing about mass shooters is it's not a thing. They showed violence. Oh, check it out. Remember like the last eight months or something? to see her with the guns in her and the third time i realized a lot of it were stunt stunt people And they used to get put under the Christmas tree, six guns. Oh, you know it. 16 years ago. 03. So 16 years ago, you? Like 15, 16? 03. 03. 16 years ago.

34:38 Yeah. All your movies, I mean, you guys made weed look fun. Most positive And fun And I wanted to be the rich guy you know Because I would, I'd inflame the whole crowd. Really? But do you remember when he was singing? Like he was a psycho. speech somewhere and then along with the speech he wanted to sing the song let the eagle soar This is the clearest video I could find real quick.

38:26 He did cover them. Exactly. They really did. It was like he was a creep. she blew up at me how dare how can you say that how dare you don't you know my brother and yeah so it's nothing to do with the movie just i'm not into Yeah. Well, they also get paranoid. amazing creatures. You know what we used to say when chaotic but it wasn't making me lazy it wasn't doing any of these things that people were

42:42 That's exactly you can use pot and it can enhance your life and it can enhance your relationship and it makes you friendlier and more come more camaraderie I got this other thing that's quite a bit more accurate and does more stuff. Well, no, you're hooked on the adrenaline. was join, uh, Gold's gym because I read about But he smoked a joint. this guy smoked pot that's right how the fuck does pot make you a loser if the biggest bodybuilder on

44:54 That's a lie. Well, Stallone is Stallone. I was in jail with him. I'm writing, because we shared a cubicle. I handed it back to him. It's called the most of. And so he Yeah. How stupid is that? reagan speechwriter and and he wouldn't give up marcos or mel. And so they put him in jail for a year. Oh, yeah. I'm sure like all things, right? That's where they found oil in Taft in California.

49:20 and died so you think that's probably the root of your cancer? Could be. Could be. See, anytime you calm the brain, you lose the fear. and just lay there and lick their wounds. You need all that stuff, you know. Right now I'm on testosterone and CBD. Tommy Chong weed. Then you were the hero. I wasn't Chong. Because you and Cheech were famous potheads.

52:30 No, He did time, The image. big uh draw for pot was the sex see it it uh it was it was before uh what do you call the soapers or uh soapers quaaludes you know the quaalude thing the quaalude was big sex thing that was uh Was it Annie Hall? I think it was Annie Hall. Everything feels nicer. And you don't smoke a lot. Just going high. In fact, this is.

55:23 easy pipe oh okay easy pipe it's so cool because you open the thing and it's got a lighter and Can't think of it. I got it for you here anyway. Oh, great. Thank you. It's called the Easy Pipe. Oh, okay. It has like a little metal lid that slides over to the side. That's a different thing. That's the Genius Pipe. Oh, that's the- That's a different thing.

56:14 See, from the bowl to the- videos like how high are you getting because they play i want to get high so high and you're He handed me a big jar of shatter, you know, the dab stuff. And I kept it long enough to make him nervous. And then I guess. For me. I love them. Not only I slept last night, but I had a couple of epiphanies that just blew my mind.

58:51 That was an art piece. carving those rocks, everything else, And a lot of people think it was the astronauts. Well, because there's nothing new in the universe. Probably somewhere in the world. I'm saying they could have been. But what about Mars? And each universe probably has an Earth. So you mean by one planet, one planet with life. We totally could be.

1:02:07 Whatever their problems are. The sky's filled with carbon. So there's no limit to how ignorant you can be, and there's no limit to how smart you can be. It's a secret code. You should get into him. Sure. Yeah. things from ancient hebrew there's you know ancient hebrew the letters also double as numbers sure yeah and and and see see what with the people i read there's another uh uh mystic that i read a lot mystic well he's mystic you know or you know he's not he he his name is

1:04:35 It'll give you a new perspective You know? and then when you reach a certain age uh you leave the planet you know at least your soul your spirit But anyway, everybody's here to learn a certain task. Read all the books. man uh one of the because one of the inmates there you know he was a barber he spent two hours can walk miles around And then I sang.

1:08:27 Sounds like a great time. I mean, it was perfect. He was crying. He was crying. as soon as he hit the street they had a little game And so he learned this quick walk. Probably. Medical, you got free medical. I'm going to go to jail so I can get open heart surgery. Because people on the outside would dose them with the acid, LSD, basically, you know.

1:11:50 Well, the first time I did it, I rolled it. And then when you get the page, then it tells you, you know, but you're asking it because you got to ask the I Ching for something, you know, and it'll answer you. It says it how? That's what the I Ching is telling you. And then it went on there. I said no the readings And, you know, this is next month is going to be tough.

1:15:11 And if you mess with it, it'll tell you. Remember that? about it is they they seem to find some real answers in it. And they keep them to themselves. Yeah, but the idea that I had heard that made the most sense was that the way the world it somehow or another even though it doesn't make any sense that well it's a method of divination I love her. You're taking it for granted.

1:18:44 Look at what we got now going for us now. because we're not here long enough Food? What have you been doing with them? Definitely you don't have to deal with any of the maintenance costs. you're going to have a lot of employees. And all those problems are in your butt. In Vancouver. And it was given to me. Pay rent when you can. Oh, they do. So he got you going.

1:22:30 The Shanghai Junk turned it into a strip club, Vancouver's first strip club. At the church? and nobody at Motown knew what a green card was. because they needed help so i went back and i turned the strip club into an improvisational club. So we were doing naked improv. And that's where I met Cheech, because we had a straight guy, and the straight guy's wife found out what he was doing, and he hauled him away.

1:24:35 Well, not really. He just showed someone else's ID, and they said, And it was from the I Ching. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Yeah. The first skit was about a pajama party So he did his tap dance. and so I said, Dave, I need an emcee. He wrote our big hit, you know, that You Ain't My Eye. Oh, boy, we'll go work there. their remarks weren't that

1:30:04 hair, Jeannie with the light brown hair. And the bikers just exploded. There's Dave. Wow. Is it crazy looking at that? Yeah, yeah. Well, we came to L.A. in 70, and we struggled. Hoot Nanny. Well, it was the only thing that worked in first night we had to do two shows, There must be a character you can do. And he drove away And he'd just make the car appear by pretending to wash it.

1:34:17 So you feel like you had that and then you just ran with it? started doing the first bit we did was an accident Cheech got locked outside the the mixed down room He knocks on the door. He's waiting for me to open the door. He almost punched me. Wow. What was that like? Hated us. I don't even name him. that snotty uh theater theater you know i'm so i'm so evolved theatrically, you know, that who does records?

1:38:50 good friend of mine did you ever do his comic club his yeah yeah yeah ever hear we were broke, Lou Adler. And so we had no touring money coming in. the end of the accounting yeah hollywood accounting yeah at the end of the period of It was the greatest compliment ever. Totally. There's a one called the Armstrong version. We're going to get it. Chong's Choice is the best.

1:42:12 It's always a pleasure.