Joe Rogan Experience #1308 — Eddie Bravo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Ejibra, you are washed. Getting solid. You've been lifting the weights. How steady are you lifting now? Hobbits? They have giant heels Right But even in the books Maybe. No, man, that's real. Did you think that was a Hobbit picture? Oh, you did? Oh person that's a gout it's real someone's got it was like gout inflammation no they wear like super uncomfortable shoes.

2:21 Well, they have yoga toes. I run in those, son. I used to wear them, too. All that shit came out that they were like a fraud. I think they made improper claims. like they said Mexicans run barefoot about in that book and now we have a Mexican-American heavyweight champion of the motherfucking world. Oh, my God. and he knocks out a dude who looks like he's chiseled out of granite.

4:30 And he's legit. And he was supposed to fight Big Baby Miller. What does it say his weight listed as? with the spoiler alert he said fuck joshua got knocked out and i was like no and i go what But he jokes about it himself. No, but if he did, though, he might be a middleweight, right? I would feed him on the sneak tip. It's like wearing eight sweaters.

6:57 that shit yeah you have good cardio and you got some fat around your gut that shit might protect It's not ideal in the lower weight classes. dudes with guts? That could be the new thing. Who's a big fella himself. Can I see it? stole it from someone. I'll just put it up, though. And dude, he's super friendly. Yeah, the last, I mean, I was crazy into boxing before I saw UFC 2.

9:05 Yeah. He broke the Remember him? Yeah. That was the first ever Mexican heavyweight champ in combat sports. I don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? Well, that was why. Who beat Melvin Manhoof in arm-bardom? Who fought Melvin Manhoof in Pride? Was it Schiavello? No, no, no. of different things, Forgot about that one. From when you and I met in the 90s when we were doing jujitsu and you were a purple belt.

11:48 and I don't have time Once you get it on though, the ESPN app. Once you get it hooked up. and i couldn't go to see a fight i couldn't watch it while i was at home but i have like an hour You could do that. Yeah. Depending on when you bought your TV, it's built into it now. It's like, you don't need an Apple TV. Damn, son. One of them fucked up TVs with a dark in the corner.

13:56 Dude, the first time I got a TV, it was a big ass TV. Right? You remember bulbs? you kind of... They're so cheap nowadays, too. Everyone starts with their little black and white had a little you know everyone starts with their Yeah. Think about how much dominates people's time. How many TVs had homes in the 50s? shit, remember when people used to actually open their eyes?

16:41 Yeah. They probably thought, oh, now they can't lie to us in the world wouldn't you love to go back No wonder they were all Yeah. propels me while i'm running the only thing i do i would do worry about getting jacked what do you mean getting cat by a cat oh do you worry about that man yeah I'm getting over a cold, folks, if I sound snotty. Well, the guy who's the werewolf could have gone on a plane and went to San Francisco.

19:13 Sometimes the full moon comes and goes and nobody dies because everybody's smart and What is that? What is it called? He's trying to get it to hiss Bro, that is a... What kind of animal is that? These big, giant, fluffy feet. You ever see a lynx? Because they're cats. Like, so do wolves. It's like And I'm driving No no they don't shoot them How crazy is it that everyone thought that growing up?

22:02 Yeah. Out of the ocean Yeah he got Surfer? God damn. And a werewolf just killed a guy last week, would you go to the woods? sharks they're right they're right i think the great white is the only one that i the divers spotted yesterday or today i guess in oceans outside of Ocean City, Maryland. Oh, yeah? I don't know. you don't know about the Everglades?

24:39 they're finding them now. They don't see anything. Are they are they doing anything to control the population of these snakes so much you can do have you ever seen the Everglades? They should have just killed them. like 100 square yards or something like that, and they'd measure the amount. people though overseas there's been uh horrible videos of guys getting cut out of giant snakes like food. People are wearing clothes. I'm just guessing. I know they do jack people, though, overseas.

26:56 Like, they know they found her. North of Miami. The Everglades is a Yeah, that shit. You got fucking snakes. predators battling it out to the death and right now i mean i don't see any pictures of the They can swallow a whole deer. What? Yeah, they can eat their whole body weight. I didn't know that toads did that. And you see this mouse trying to kick and get

30:08 I believe in evolution. Things to come. Yeah, Jamie. Cats are ruthless. See how he used his hand This isn't even the same one, so there must be multiple videos of... Oh, we talked about it. And the guy that lived there said, trust me, don't be scared. And then the bugs started coming. The bugs lost. Get those bugs. what a what a weird place to choose to put a mansion when i get you want to be able to scream

33:36 We went to Squaw Valley. Entomologist. You know, Yeah. Phoenix, though, it's opposite. Because if you look at the North Pole, looking down on it, all the surrounding countries, they're all white. And then as people migrated and got to these northern climates, That's what's weird about it. You ever heard about that? I'd say something terrible. Not the recent one.

37:48 It just wiped out these huge cities. Because the first European explorers when they went to the Amazon according to Grant Hancock in his book, which is called America before a curse to a place and then the jungle overcame the city and grew through the pillars of the floor They weren't ready for it. if they could somehow i mean i guess you'd imagine like people that live in the jungle must be exposed to certain parasites or certain certain diseases or germs that they don't get in Europe either.

40:28 Vaginal parasites. Like coral growing on their dicks those people get used to it And you drive into San Pedro and it smells like the sewer. and it would stink the town smelled like Yeah, because how much long-term testing have they done? They're always looking at the plates. But every satellite dish- They never point to the north. Dude, you want to get your fucking head blown off?

43:21 But you're going to have to go check that shit out. While you do it, it is quite hilarious. It's so scary dude But it's scary dude What I'm worried, all told, is that I really think that Wi-Fi signals, have like a really clear method of taking those signals in and then translating them into visuals or into audio but because we can't like take that serious satellite signal and then and then have

45:35 There's no radio service. There's no Wi-Fi. That's a new thing that Steve Rinella... So you can find your way out with a map. The people that think that satellites aren't real, they need to talk to somebody who makes satellites. People have a problem with fucking everything that's ever existed. why they think that is because someday there's going to be a program but there's no proof though

47:56 i haven't done any service surveys this is all based on the people that i come in contact with They think it's amusing that I'm into it, but they're not into it. What was the evidence? universe but i didn't get into it maybe i should i'm not saying it's not true i'm just saying But they believe. Yeah. Right. But if you look into it, there's science supports that it was an inside job.

50:23 No, no, I'm just saying. No, no, no, no, no. I'm just going based on. the people that really want to believe in Bigfoot Hooked. What is that? We didn't let them know. ancient Egypt, and UFOs. Pilots from the Air Force are saying they saw UFOs. So when you're, when your balls deep and you really want to believe it, you look at it But that guy said crazy shit.

53:20 Didn't he? What does that guy say? When he says the crazy shit he says, because his job was to prepare notes, and for sure they're hiding them. sightings, abductions, something like that because there was a dude who found something i forget what he found some old did you find the guy? He was like, So they could do that to you and put you on a desk Which one's that?

56:31 And what he did is he fucked with the mom, fucked with the dad. That's all it was? And that's the blackmail because he jerked him off? And what he does is he starts telling her that there's all these alien abductions going on. with alien voices coming out She has to marry that dude. And then she passes out again and she wakes up. He tricked her. He has his lawyers send letters

58:48 she's 12, 13, 14, and she's obsessed with him. Jesus Christ. It's easy. They want to push it. They want pretending to cover it up. So what they do is if there's cows, they they'll routinely take a cow take out its rectum take out at like certain organs surgically and then they dump them and once he looked into it, Why would that eliminate the possibility

1:01:07 That's all it is. but you have a tag at a different place you you just you because there's some places where it's they would they would because when you if you think you took that animal and Imagine if we went all the way up to like Neptune to shoot gophers. It's gross, too, though, that they did it so many times and have people afraid. And if they're not doing it,

1:03:28 that's so funny before out of the woods Europeans. Maybe the CIA Wouldn't that be a good move for- That's probably exactly what happened. Native American CIA. We got to keep them in the cities. It's just like a few key... But did you ever see that documentary No, no, no. And was driving around in a Corvette and shit, living like a baller that's scary they were all selling drugs and they caught him and you know

1:06:09 Jesus Christ, they were just doing blow and going crazy But this is like, there's a guy who, I should, I don't know who the current guest is on Sam Harris' podcast. no, what it does is it exposes you more than it corrupts you. And that's when the power got to him. about and they beat some guy up or something like that and it's like this never this never happened

1:07:57 It's something along those lines. you're going to go crazy. It was a good one. because I just kind of I think that's the case You notice that? Yeah, that's right. Cops, it's a terrible fucking job. The guy's driving, and the cop has his gun out pointed at them and he's telling this uh black kid to shut off his car And the guy's scared to shut off the car

1:10:24 But what about- Sometimes, I'm sure that's the case. that absolute power corrupting comes in corrupt some fucking people you know there's some dirty You know how the graduating class at the police academy in Miami one year, That's what happens. You know, this is how crazy I am. They were all Mexican. about good yeah it was about that right yeah that's about it's about barry c yeah yeah what

1:13:32 got busted because they were dropping off coke out of these planes and two kids saw the drop off he for sure brought in uh what i would call a fuckload of coke who barry seal for sure a fuck Mina, right? Like, going to a regular movie, can't do it anymore. Perfect. and people didn't want to let him go. It's a fucking movie. guys in the sport easily. Just wrestled him

1:16:02 Jason Scott Lee, man, that was because the elders that lived in San Francisco or Seattle, It's a cave. Did he win the fight? Yes. But he didn't have to go that far but I guess it was just a YMCA did he win the fight? it was really bad your back's in some kind of he did some demonstrations. He's doing a demonstration. They added all that? Aren't they doing something on him right now, though?

1:18:14 And in the movie, there's a Bruce Lee part where he's in a Bruce Lee movie. is it CGI Bruce Lee? all CGI? what would be the reason? That guy looks very good. No. He's wearing glasses. No, he has an unusual I think everything is. You've got to stop. It's exhausting. It has to be really Bruce Lee-esque. They got old people down. Well, it's also because your brain doesn't have a reference point for dragons.

1:20:40 Yeah. So when you see him with the glasses and see him from the side, he should, that's interesting. are they using different people for them? They do faking it on them. Well, there you go. Was the most recent... I've managed to avoid all spoilers. Remember that song? that had some big ass titties. Do you trip out? There's aliens. If you look up, see forever.

1:23:39 man um you know warner von bra Braun was a Nazi, right? Yes. I mean, everyone agrees on that. They worked on space together. In the future, would you be willing? It may be real. For everything. SpaceX is a private company. and everyone's all into space now. The roadster in space? who had a strong, It's ridiculous. well, I think it's impossible and ridiculous.

1:26:36 because he's a fucking genius Please hold on The fucking launch Roadster I picked the wrong one That got edited, so I'm trying to find Exactly. into the ocean. over the ocean. to the ground. of the way you see it, it won't work? It looks so fake. Then I found out, like two years into the relationship, little by little, that he lied You have to tell the truth and even total liars will tell the truth throughout the day a lot just to get through the day that you have to tell the truth to get but then you know at the drop of a hat they're gonna lie about their life in some crazy way whatever i understand your logic eddie let me slow you down

1:29:37 These people, you don't know if they're full of shit either. See what I'm saying? satellites are full of shit. Water is always level. And they figured that out. They do that on the hill, not on the ocean. They disappear over the horizon. Go in the ocean But if you use a telescope No no no you could see Hawaii. it curves. the ones who make the maps,

1:32:19 They're all wrong. It's about 6,000 feet of curvature. but you're hearing, If we live on a ball that at every hundred miles, with lasers 100 miles away. It's flat. You can't dispute what I just said. So all these fucking people that are flying around Australia, they're doing it the wrong way. But I've flown all over the world. This is so painful. You been working with him?

1:34:46 is that going to change him? It's, They're going to be throwing bombs at each other. That's what Al's exact quote was. we respect cowboys fucking ground game a lot and you know we um you know we did what we could to Now, let me ask you this because you know the answer to this. We don't, I'm never, I've never seen him. Yeah. And then what I had heard was-

1:37:06 Very light. He didn't want to fuck with that. He did. at the highest level, people want to get to the point where they just unleash and they don't give a fuck and there's a Which is very impressive Very difficult to prepare for or the wrestling, but you see it in the jiu-jitsu, and that's where I see it, It's got to be so smooth. doesn't take him long

1:39:57 that's the most important thing I think he was uh, like um You know those things that you could, and thinking about it's a fucking crazy matchup title fights they have to have those and at the top but that just shows you how fucking crazy the That's a great fucking fight. He pours beer into their shoes But I get it The other guy. that's a good way to go about doing it.

1:43:11 are because you dirty bitch like what what what are you guys doing to each other you're both giving Nature's like, this guy is just too much of a freak. What? They try to get us Yeah, because the staff auroras It says, but alcohol is a disinfectant. as a fucking filter. No! at a gig in florida tate yeah it was like a hundred dollar cup of coffee or something stupid

1:46:14 And then people pull it out of the poop. Right there is gold coming out of that cat's asshole. As long as it's an animal, That's the idea. The idea is that it's supposed to be smoother. The natives probably just used to eat the cat shit directly. specific cherries or whatever that that's that's where it is um what is the name of it what how do i how do i pronounce it

1:49:14 They drown it in brandy, over their head to take in the aromas and to trap the aromas and they also do it to hide their face we explain why cooking the rare and delicate songbird is so controversial. No, man, it's a weird little tiny animal. declined dramatically Some restaurants What do you think that costs? The method of capture and killing them Okay, here it goes.

1:51:45 How were they killed? Managing to snuff out their lives and marinate them at the same time. And then they cook them. People are weird, man. you should not complain because they have no food That's my new favorite dude. He's a real comic. He's great. Well, it's also very smart for him. They say that kids watch 50% of Netflix on their phone. Twitch, 50%. Website, 50%. 50%, but that's the switch for what it takes. Take your pick. Remove Netflix, YouTube, 50% Twitch,

1:54:15 It switches because they, they got a bunch of movies on there now. I was watching it on my TV I subscribe to certain people and I just go It's in the second or third season, I think. They haven't made it. They don't want the quarterly earnings to be the same every quarter.'s just that's a bad sign they want to be out there killing it Well, it's so much different, though, than a network

1:56:52 What I'm talking about is YouTube originals. I mean, How many people every day don't watch YouTube? fucking people must be watching YouTube videos around the world. One of the funniest videos on, or genre videos on YouTube are, It becomes a porn? But, no, but they do. Like right to the part. like you jizz or you porn exactly yeah yeah yeah but i'm saying on youtube like what are the terms

1:59:36 Tight shots of the chest, back, shoulder. Is that illegal? And I asked Jack Dorsey about it, and he's like, yeah, Twitter allows porn. snapchat's Because kids are on YouTube all the time. So kids would be watching Wile E. Coyote cartoons And they had made it like with a formula happened that we don't that we missed i've heard about this recently too that's why i was actually

2:02:55 This is amazing. They can't find all of them They're Spider-Man if it's how much parody it is. if Spider-Man was just like an archetype hero. That's legal, right? dressed up as them rather than like drawing them like if they had footage from the movie or that are making these weird fuck, and cut their head. It's weird, weird shit. that I want to get into.

2:05:35 all that shit. Dun, dun, dun. Bro, it's hilarious i don't know how much He said, no, and I didn't, and don't you bring it up. mad at her she said but didn't you say didn't you say that you can't fly commercial because the tube That's what he says. I had to buy it. Because if they fucking hear it, if they hear it, they'll yank us. She's gonna go Didn't you say that they were demons

2:08:27 And then he tries to charm her. But a little bit before it when he's actually angry. people and be all slippery. Smile. His hand looks like that hobbit foot we were looking at Bro his nails are long as fuck That's what's really interesting about churches Seems super solid. How many sex scandals? around so many different causes. If you don't see that, it's too scary for people.

2:11:52 Let me see that. No, but I've seen it on YouTube. You went into the Vatican? That's supposed to be something about... Dude, this is their... that was his gate. It looks like... Come on, man. dude come on a girl and she was a girl and she's I'm going to fuck you between the teeth. What if he is? All this UFO shit. That's what it is. And we're going to tell people, listen, we've seen the aliens.

2:15:07 Get out of here. If they're coming here from another planet, And he had an assistant. They're trying to scare us into a new world order. with global warming, in my opinion. That's why there's movies for a one world government. we looked at that as evidence look operation paperclip 1945 1946 we bring in over all right the guys that ended up creating

2:17:59 So the Germans were scaring their people with UFOs before the United States got scared with UFOs? Who wanted a new world order more than Hitler? off because the only way to make a new world order actually happen is you got to get the people to some kind of alien threat. threat he's talking about the rule he's well it's not exactly what he said no no no you're talking

2:19:38 That was getting everybody used to this shit. Now we could do it. You said you didn't see it. You're talking about Oh this is Fox News man You'd get pulled for this If you don't want me to play it, I won't So I wipe out 100% They want to keep it. But you do have, you do have. president of the United States that even when he says something like that,

2:22:12 Shit. There's evidence, and this is coming with the FISA declass, that Trump wasn't supposed to win. that anybody can... a lot of water lately. those bubbles are good for you No No forget about the teeth But the carbonation's got to be doing something to you. Is it nitrogen in the water? It can't be good, right? Like with a meal, if I went out to a restaurant, had to have a fucking Coke.

2:24:26 gotta be way better than coke right coke is the worst but why is it so delicious dude some some can bottle or uh no like a baby a breast bottle was that chicken coke then chipotle in a bottle Mexicans and the rest of America what's his record has he ever lost i think he's 31 and one one loss but it was a split decision That motherfucker throws hands.

2:26:58 some shit in front of a million people that's probably going to be the rematch and if he fucks him up again which uh with that is man it's amazing right now He just got crazy power, man. he started fairly late in life learning how to fight in period but uh he's so big and so mcgregor knocks people dead in the ufc and you know floyd mayweather's the greatest boxer of

2:29:25 He popped him If he hits you When he clipped him instead of UFC, who the fuck knows, man? unbelievable one-punch knockout power. can you imagine where everybody has to stand with him He'd be fucking everybody up. that with your wrestling with wrestling but you you can't go 100 sparring with wrestling And we're going to – this is what our job is. They're there working for the goal.

2:32:51 oh my god he would have been he would have had a longer career that's for sure and you know if he the real deal how did the john jones fight go i don't remember john jones just outclassed him he wasn't blowing away any nervous energy. you see it smells blood he smells blood he's a fucking straight-up killer, man. He knows when guys are physically tired. He knows's he fighting next he's gonna fight tiago

2:35:13 that up? It's a great Oh, my God. Stipe and DC is on? They're fighting for the best body ever. It makes people piss hot for steroid tests. I don't know what the company is. Mm-mm. Probably, right? Like people that don't fight professionally. Like cool let's do it yeah that's true right give me the shit that hector lombard pissed out for yeah 100 i got that shit

2:37:35 Oh, give up the $27 million to the Cuban, baby. Just no minks, right? That fucking guy. He moves slow. be that fucking explosive. But if he actually gets the money, that's the problem. Just make itself back, and then give them what they invested. We had problems on it with AlphaBrain early. He's a bad motherfucker. It was like six months, which apparently is worth $27 million.

2:40:47 No, you gotta pay taxes. They've ruled that you got damaged. on things imagine how few people would pay taxes you know what it would be like if the irs wasn't And you'd get to check off the list in the box. Maybe it was a scam. You haven't gone back to us. dude that's the first time i found out about well it was actually late night tv about That's way better than like those dudes

2:43:12 You don't tell them. And someone says, well, why are you such a nice person? You can't be screaming Jesus on the corner of Hollywood Boulevard and La Brea. He creeped me the fuck out. Imagine what it must be like to be a fly on the wall, into pro wrestling pro wrestling could have got them They would have believed that that was real. And so just to make sure that your story matches, we would like to know whatever happened to you,

2:45:52 They'll have gophers listening to people talk. I've seen it. Who knows? Yes. Frank Santos, the R-rated hypnotist, was a staple in Boston when I was coming up. He had one night a week. I'm going to count to five. And he would get rid of them. They would come in their pants. They were bewildered. Well, I got hypnotized. Did he make you do things you didn't remember?

2:48:57 chilling on this couch. It wasn't I wanted to work on mostly organization It was like as if the regular world has a crazy filter over it. that's not what he's trying to do anybody his i think and i'm speaking for vinnie um but i think There's something locked in about them, but it was 100% real. You think those people that are easily hypnotizable can be influenced,

2:50:36 what's causing you to go under? guy and he was heavy you know he's overweight and it just seemed real unassuming and sweet and kind And every week we would watch. dude what if there's dudes like that they go they date and they're just looking for girls This was back in the dizzay, too. where you you're like it's an energy feeling it's not just have to think about what comes next because you know what comes next but you're saying it as if

2:54:08 sometimes i'll see a recording and i'm like i thought that was better i thought that was better like there's an energy that's being bounced I mean, You know, We're making each other laugh. and kind of just going through the motions, I smoked weed before I went on stage. i got that shit down on lock well i really like doing sober october i really like not

2:56:32 I like having a drink and then maybe a cup of coffee, get my blood going. Yeah, i get my As soon as I walked on stage, they were already laughing. good you know it's good for you can i throw a little houston plug not this weekend but next Yeah, me too. was always for some reason fun comedy town dude they're ready to laugh dude yeah well that's where

2:59:11 Yeah. Eddie Bravo, I mean, it's at Eddie Bravo, but I'm never on there.