Joe Rogan Experience #1312 — Ms. Pat Transcript

Transcript

0:00 two one boom miss pat we're live what's up how are you hey great to see you again glad to be back I just don't like it. I want to go back to Atlanta Yes Is duck shit my language because you decide to walk your dog today and stop and talk to me you tried to talk I didn't care about lawns until I became a homeowner. Black people come up with some of the strangest things why they ain't got their rent.

2:45 I just I'd be so glad when I can get rid of this property. I'm a little too bougie. But you would live in Atlanta somewhere else. What's holding you in Indianapolis? What? Yes. oh for general motors so he's constantly moving things with his hands yeah so his hand carpal So that's what's keeping you in Indianapolis. I like the name. And they demonetized his podcast

4:57 That's beautiful Perfect. At first, how'd you get them together? And so I put him what? I said, Chris, just say yes or fucking no. That makes sense. She's canceled her shows in Atlanta because I think it passed. Atlanta got them in there because of tax money. One of my nipples messed up. squirrely yeah i don't think you should be killing don't have no abortion in those six and eight

8:06 I cannot take care of the two I got. So when I got pregnant with my third child, I became emancipated minor and divorced my mom. And I never got pregnant I got a set of Medicaid kids and so i had those last two and i tied my twos very very good move yeah i'm four is enough And I have this thing like all kids deserve a solid foundation because I didn't have one.

10:33 So I have a daughter who my whole my kids who were at the house and had to make a major sacrifice. i was ready to live my best life i said oh I'm making some money me and my husband go to Hawaii Because my kids was in high school when she left. The mother blocked you. So she don't know that that's us. They be like, but it's not easy. Only America know that I call them crack babies.

14:11 I'm auntie. And my daughter, she just graduated from college. It really is. They really did. They really did. Yeah, I said, look at these crack babies on a Disney cruise with matching outfits. to step in because i know i know when you don't have that solid foundation where you can end up So they need tutors? You don't. You have to. So I'm going to sit your ass down.

16:56 And I like it. Yeah. You? I mean, you know, because I'm country and people like, what the fuck did you say? how do a white man sneak up on the mountain lion? And he got them. It took a while for me to realize. You got to get out of Florida. So back in the day and don't get offended people but you know dog fighting is big in the South But if you got the best of my dog, i would jump in and whoop your dog ass because you was not gonna whoop

20:39 He lived in Kentucky, And they fought dogs. I would freaking fold the shit out of your dog. We'd whoop his ass, then we'd pop up, and we'd split the now and later. Oh, I'm realizing that. Yeah, it used to be called black pussy. pussy is it everybody listen to r kelly and burnt black pussy incense on a saturday morning clean I mean, couldn't read when they ain't got no side teeth and they can't read they got the best sex because

23:51 for all that ghetto love and the housewife of a lounger right yeah that's true somebody had a meme My friend said, did he say not at all? We bought a sleep number bed and he was like because his knee was messed up. I bought a sleep But I should have known he wasn't going to do shit because he was insistent on getting the mattress that split down the middle.

26:20 Who's got the harder side? And then we done gave up And half of the time Of the bed Oh, it's one of those deals. Yeah, and it, Joe. Every time I come home, he got his feet in the air like he had a gynecologist visit. Oh, it's one of those deals. Yeah. I'm like, I'm having a hot flash now, and I don't want to drop my titties on your table. Yeah, it goes away.

27:52 Wasn't that Jesus' mama? I'm talking about Eve. Listen to that talking snake I won't bite the apple Fanning yourself off. Yeah, and it hits you in different places. It doesn't say anything on why it's North American. Oh, yeah, they'll fix that joke. So they can't say stop fixing soft dicks. People like think Don't come on no more Yeah yeah Yeah, but it's different.

30:45 He can't read. It grow real thick? But if you love that person And his dick is soft What else were they doing before Viagra came along? Do you eat it? some asian countries like with like wealthy people they don't even have dicks in asian How could you say that? When he went to go scratch, I was like, I'm not into young dick like that, but that was He had a curve in it, Joe.

34:02 losing weight don't do it don't? I want my titties lifted. off. I want you to stay alive, Miss Pat. Don't do it. he's my friend y'all that's all the reason I can tell him I be pissing on myself That's alright I mean I don't want no Don't do anything like that Yeah Didn't like it? Is 100 pounds and it just stopped so i called the doctor man's like it stopped he was like uh

35:52 No I I was almost could be another podcast you complaining at the gym that shit would be hilarious yeah i would be kind of exercise i don't know i can call him his name june bug june bug yeah not his real name Do you know how funny a video of you at the gym would be? Junebuck, you're going to help my, junebug out with me bring junebug to start to start filming videos you ought to see him like

38:37 is not gonna come back who's your son a doctor i don't know he just read all the time joe i lost I just got a visual. He's like So he just reads a lot about fitness He works Yeah especially if I can get out and like him My baby, if you go to my Instagram, he's 220 now. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. And I asked him, I said, son, did your dick get bigger? Because I remember being really small.

40:24 Your navel become your dick when you real fat Joe Oh my god Please Please do this Your stomach gets used to it. He literally called me, Mama, because I can do one liter a day. day i work on a liter of water and he literally go through the house and tell us what we can and I said, son, go get the weight loss surgery. And I said I'm going to get your tummy tucked

42:56 Jesus Christ We got a lot of fat There's no issue When we was coming up, Joe, if you wanted titties and ass, they had this thing going around. Did it work? It won't? We're not scraping her bottle all off us. Oh my God god that is hilarious Let them try the butter before they try the poison. product on amazon called Butt Butter. Butt Butter? Hold on.

46:10 It's got four stars. click that. you government bought a work joe i'm telling you look at this who would have known it works faster with those giant glasses not only does it works change the name to breast Watch how many people who knows what I'm talking about from the South say, Joe, we did that. I know, but there's only one way to find out if it actually works.

48:47 Just put it on one titty. When they're like four, you can do it? It doesn't make sense. That they used to send Peanut butter So you could spread it It came in a can. And he's lighting. i tie that church's chicken you get more for your money church's chickens better yeah two dollar That's the thing that Popeye separated from everybody else. Now, you out here buying jets and shit, and I'm struggling.

51:19 The hoes go to church with no underwear on to get the pastor. Really? They was unfuckable Catholic preachers Really He's sexy. Hell yeah! right hand corner? Go back. Joel is good looking. He's got a goddamn arena. He does it in Vegas at the same arena where the UFC plays. Houston. I'm crazy. They were banging that many Ovulation You want big houses.

55:22 They like I'm hard. Yeah, I got them teeth you got to pick up and dust off. no, this bitch here. Well mostly about When you can laugh He gave me a combo with no toy. I think it's funny that they used to come get me and me and the health department man had a relationship. You know And they Would he actually say your pussy's on the list? I was like, this is what he told me.

57:56 So, I'm so stupid. come see me joe come on he wouldn't he came to see me with cat william accent when i was opening up He'll watch your fucking podcast but he gives me back like he's funny to me like i told you say not today i want to put it today money he gave me like four grand to bury my daddy and i was like you don't have to do this and i was If you go back to like the Pimp Chronicles

1:00:43 I love him can't nobody tell me shit about no Cat Weave I'm a fan his delivery, his style, everything. I love him. Why would you eat before you go on stage? mood to go on stage yeah i do that too i do that i do that too i like a lot of, I want to say OutKast, but that ain't what I'm going for. I listen to a lot of Carly B. Come on, Junebug. If you go too hard

1:02:41 And did that regularly on YouTube Do what we doing it. Yeah. Nothing? I just don't I'm gonna be My whole family drink So they got the copy of paper off the machine and rolled the weed in there. And I just told my kids when they was young, I said, look. the ghetto so i said junebug how much you, how much weed you buy? 1.5 grams. You called the police on him?

1:05:42 your white son just lost his only black friend i'm gonna Yeah. They was pissed off at me. Locked up for some white pussy Come over It was on they phone I don't need no friends And I saw him. He's the only one that ever really tried me. and they don't like always come to me What did they say when you said that? So I told them like three, four times, stop.

1:08:17 I asked him to stop about four times. schools call you for anything and anything joe i mean just dumb shit black school we tell them And I had to set the school down. drugs the dad was beating on the mom and they they didn't know how to handle them and i said look Right. it but i had to retrain him because what he saw in the hood it wasn't going at my nice little white

1:10:53 You can't save everybody. No. There's so many people right now with their headphones on in their cubicle laughing their ass off right now. Guarantee you. dog did you burn him up did you burn him up he actually started laughing you you know after they said well I gotta ask my sister and I get my sister on the phone Joe and I was like Maypop so that was the only story I had never told.

1:13:39 God damn, you've had a crazy fucking laugh. I mean, that's why it works. If you had a cushy life and you were saying the shit that you're saying, it wouldn't be funny. And I just, I just, he helped me grow a backbone to say, fuck what people think about you. So my whole life, Joe Rogan, I was scared of white people. And he said, Pat, he said, we're all the same.

1:15:56 And I would look away. had it set up or black people literally weren't allowed to buy homes outside of certain areas Joe, when I went to school, it was so many niggas name wrote in that same book where it had done checked it out every year. to be at the bus stop when I get there. And I ma'am leave that bitch leave her you leave that motherfucker she'll get there on

1:18:34 I'm like, why? I'm not going. I tell my kids, if you leave some, you didn't fucking want it. So I'm not getting up. Yeah, they get it. my cable I was like, fuck these keys. They can miss a cup of milk. bought for her that's what i drive every day my shit paid off i'm not buying you no car well Yeah, that's what I was going to ask you, but it's a fucked up thing to ask someone when they tell you they're molested by your mom's boyfriend.

1:21:28 Selling crack and shot in the tit. but I always, Maybe I was put maybe I took burden that everybody else was going through in life, and I was just I don't dwell on shit I don't have control over. Are you still in touch with him? I remember when I needed closure. Darryl, you're going to jail. and everybody else that stepped on me and i said said, no longer am I ever going to want to come.

1:24:25 forgave him that's a very powerful thing and i'm happy that's a very powerful thing if you can And I called my husband and I was crying. day I forgave him and my mama because him my mom and her boyfriend John is the three of the people My kid's father's still alive. wow he buried himself next to my mama so i said fuck both of you i'm not going up there

1:26:32 I go out there with a gas can Jesus fucking Christ. Fuck him. up on our titties that was good luck for her what What the fuck? It's not all the way done That's my oldest brother That ain't no Jerry Carl motherfucking nuts all the time. You make people laugh. It's so hard to listen to as a person who has kids. You know, the only thing I ask for my kids,

1:30:24 I picked out the outfit and every one of them graduated from high school you know my daughter So she booked it on a day I was out of town. But she she's my first child to graduate college. And, you know, I had to wake her up one time and I said, do you have to sell drawers in front of my school I said because I was here first bitch bitch but you know i think you know we we have we have a relationship now you know and then i

1:33:13 going to come home with a big dick nigga. name i said it's not about i had to learn it's not about, I had to learn, it's not about your sexuality. Do what make you happy. Because I was raised in a black community. so I was taught if you was gay it was you was it was something wrong with you and when my daughter A lot of them be homeless. And my child came home.

1:35:50 She will dick you down with a scrap phone. But, you know, new girl every six months. Big old bitch. from and to be who you are now that's it's amazing thank you i mean and i tell people all the time one thing my book is about, I was searching for something. But I know I'm loved, Joe. just look at him and say oh my god i got what i fought for my whole fucking life a family to be

1:38:54 And then Rabbit Thank you