Joe Rogan Experience #1334 — Fahim Anwar Transcript

Transcript

0:00 One, two, three. Isn't it weird when you run into a comedian that you don't normally hang out with outside Terrible. What's your tell? I just say I don't know i'm sorry do you do the thing where you go it's good seeing you instead of nice meeting you nope i've done nice meeting you and sense yeah it's cool outside the store you know having a chat yes yeah it's like you feel the

1:52 biding time until the weekend right and practicing yeah yeah it's the one of the weird art forms that nuance to it to fix the joke yeah like it's on paper it's the same joke you know what's really and I was like, yo, they're asking me to write this out. He's like, I've nothing happens. He's like, well, Just change your number. Did they contact you at all?

3:54 where's the transcript? pussy level yet. going to be there and they make an enormous amount of money off the comedians it used to be the comedians the volume of comedy that we watch on a regular basis is so much. oh, something crazy like that i kind of want to see this chicken set like what was the set that just I mean, in a way that, like, it was just a bunch of blah,

7:01 A school? like a legit comedian everybody thing all right over there jamie yeah i think if like if that such different things but it's uh you have an agent right and the agent wants to make money when I moved from Seattle, against the wall. think you're funny. in the daytime I don't know because it's messing with your acting role. So how did Saget deal with it?

9:53 his way back in and now he does it regularly yeah yeah i think that's you know maybe they did that When you're at the store, You can't slack off. we all do a special where he's like they're not special anymore it's just like a flyer or like a brochure a brochure Yeah. whereas a comic, you're expecting the shit that's not on the special. them anymore oh i know i purge them like i know Yeah, someone was yelling out bruce jenner the other day. I was like, I can't do that bit

12:49 And it's kind of interesting, especially being in this industry, not taking advantage of that. it's a it's a nutrient you know it's like it's healthy for you yeah it's hot right now it's very I think the people – So it takes longer for it to – There's some people that do everything with weed Like since hemp is cool well, I'll tell you what, and let him know.

15:10 You do voices really well. Yeah, because you're Alex Jones. I said, you just need a rational journalist who's next to you. Alex Jones called this years ago. experiments going on. there was one of the funniest things he ever said. People try to define you. It's foolish. I mean, I'm not a right-wing person, so this nonsense. And Kyle hooked it all up.

18:40 You really can't hide in a long conversation. They're like, alright bro Very nice guy. Oh, I do. when it comes to being president. People get assassinated. in a time capsule right a year ago when everyone was michael avanadi crazy and they just and then they ascend during the Trump campaign Like how, But doing stand-up in some red states, you're with the people.

21:10 a lot of right-wing friends, and there's a whole part But the middle of the country did not believe in her. get away with that same stupid, Look, we've got to take some bully tactics. That's my favorite. You can't go that far. It was pretty good. Oh. He used modern urban vernacular. Yeah. everyone is freaking out over that. And it crazy how how we put them on the same pedestal like some sort of Trump scandal or like

24:33 Aren't there some people who liked? Or no? Even Michael Keaton's Batman, but he's old. Leveled up or no from Batman? I hope so too McGillis? Clooney. we have a thing She was in that? Is that like a NCIS That's a wonderful show. That's a wonderful show. I guess he could be Captain Kirk yeah love it Survivor was on when Fear Factor debuted. Some guy asked me that.

27:29 I didn't know that fear would play such a factor for you. No. I don't know what it is, but yeah. Are there different things? It ruined me. It is rare. Like, there's bad successful sitcoms that last forever. Yeah, there's other channels, other programming you could watch. and the directors to get this project that it's all good but it's the 30th time.

30:16 Up and down. If you say a joke Yeah Yeah Did you see that? Yeah, of course. He basically exposed those red flag laws. I like the stairs comment. I didn't know Fredo was you could say it for someone who's a traitor, but that doesn't even make sense shots. know he's mario cuomo's son and you probably you know, he's Mario Cuomo son and you probably and behave like that that is nonsense yeah that's nonsense that's That's nonsense. It's a silly way to behave.

33:12 so we need to take him to- Do some yoga. You're like oh shit Yeah we don't actually fight here Look at him He's not going to do that. shit better start selling fredo t-shirts with your face on it listen cnn's probably gonna fire I'm not going to let you do something to me. CNN's lost their fucking mind. This is just beginning to take on a form of its own.

35:41 That is so offensively stupid. But I'm not a hostile person. How do you handle it? How do they know, man? They get mad at me. So I don't even want you selling my picture i don't want it to be so i'm just trying to like look i'll sign one and i tell them that like i got a bunch of them I go, you're selling these. I go, go get a job. But I just don't like the idea of it because primarily I don't like the idea that there's some weird loophole where someone can get you to work for them.

38:20 I go, are you out of your fucking mind? But they give them out to fans And you know And he's this Filipino wizard. Yeah. For sure. If they sit on. You're just like on this other level. spend time at the store you have you're being pulled by a lot of things like you see the family the guys worked a lot they'll be at another theater black belt in jujitsu but i'm as friendly to the white belts as i am to other black belts we we

41:32 for you for them it just makes them angry at you they can't wait till and i have been in that when you see the 180 oh really now at this point in time They used to be someone that thought that they could. But there are some that wanted that spot of the bumper where they could just show up. Like that fed them. to a jujitsu school you take a class or two classes

44:18 Yeah, yeah. over and then it just kind of evolved into what it is now it's crazy because i remember when it the history and see the video, of the deal you just have you realize leaving your apartment yeah is a win in itself like you Kevin James like I very right was there it was just it was Me, and Robin Williams was there. It was just, it was Mecca.

47:13 I think the first time I stepped foot in the store and I were sitting in the back of the room going. Holy shit because it's not a net it's not um it's not an easy room the or is not an easy yeah the or i of the comedy store. you know how the step goes up, Well, there's different kinds of comedy, right? And that was a trip for me. But what's great about doing it so long is stand up is this

49:52 I mean, I would confuse it, yeah And I was like, oh. you might struggle a little bit with a theater I had a great time. I think, It's different when you're like, and it's daytime club set or something yeah dude i'll take you if you want to come i'll take you i'll take you one performed in front of 10,000 people. I don't worry about Ally. I love that club.

52:47 It wasn't the right setup for comedy. So that was the first time she'd ever done anything big. So we did this crazy place in Portland. Did they do concerts in there normally? Yeah. Or what is that space?'s what the blazers play yeah for real yeah whoa you don't be great if like you just have a t-shirt cannon Yeah. like the OR? and the Moda Center I've done some big places where it's not the best.

54:44 Well, that's why comedy clubs are a certain size. I mean, there's not that many people that are doing those places. I think I was in London, so I was sleeping when the time was off. and Don L. Rollins gets out there, Plus, it's just, We all realized this was something. We're trying to figure out where and how, but we had a great fucking time. How did you feel before and then after?

56:29 with vitamins you know, they do. They're doing coke. Yeah, we're doing coke Yeah. And I'm sure you're only doing a fraction of what they do. Yeah, like, You know? Yes, always. They tape everybody. That's what Bill Burr said. It just doesn't feel good. I don't wish it. someone will be like yeah but when I was working at Boeing do you want to go No, but it was fine.

58:41 with this guy. Yeah. He's a military guy. He was like fucking, You just got to trust him. I was ever in a little tiny ass plane. altitude you're at and the gauges have to be 100 functional and i don't know what the whole story Not RFK He's just like It's getting a plane I think he knew how to fly and i think he was Kind of just knowing this isn't a good situation.

1:01:28 3,000 feet above Boulder. And as we're driving through the hills up to the house, And that's why they exist. Instead of blinding it. So they were over water. It was dark and Something popped up that they might have had a past of that, My memory varies so wildly. I'm like, why do I know? It's not selective. Thank you. You swell from the head a lot. You used to use... Should I throw this in here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It going to grow. I hope your head's flexible. Just like the headphones break.

1:03:52 Am I going to be a mural? Really? like normal. Yeah, go look at the smoke cloud again myself oh nice i'm a yeah i'm a purist nice sometimes i'll get a brochure in the mail like They have a lot of horsepower. But as a comedian, like Chipotle's a great punchline word. I like my Mazda 3. What about the RX-8? People are crazy. Dude, it's a great car. It's like 28 grand. Dude. Come on. Come on, man. That's it. I'm not to test drive a Mazda Miata. It's cheap. How much is a Miata? It's like $28,000.

1:06:31 I would drive a fucking Miata. I'm a fan. they're fine man it's a fun car to drive don't be hating on me honest all right how do you feel But Tesla came along and they were like, yo, now you can stunt and save the earth. Jeremy Clarkson was raving about it. It is. five hours. I go to the comedy store. There's not a goddamn thing you can do. The giant screen?

1:09:48 that's how you know it's like no a Lamborghini Yeah. Just during your set, you just hear, like, oh, promoter. and then also go on stage and then it's like It's like a dugout. But they have more confidence Isn't it big now? and he can't write without it. Yes. but some people want the quick fix. Making YouTube videos, and there's a lot of people like that man. There's a lot of people like that. It is a

1:13:20 did you go to the hot doctor you know like you'd see on sunset boulevard it's like this like persian Like, oh, this guy's good. It just seemed like such an odd contraption. it would take like an hour into the podcast before like the fog would settle so was that just the the burnt plant material. Yeah. It was somewhere in Hollywood. I said, thank you, sir.

1:15:10 He gives me a prescription. Fills up with weed. He does it there yeah we were blasted we got blasted at his place um at the doctor's office One of the reasons why you're interacting with whatever they are, with the molecules, the THC and the cannabinoids. It's like hours later trying to figure it out. He was amazing. What does that mean? You know? If you looked at the pie chart of people that are really into conspiracies and looked at race, white would be overwhelming.

1:18:00 They're like, sure thing. What did you do over there You can tell us Right but all right, they do these steps. because it is like a little painful, right? My parents were going to pay for my college, So I didn't grow up with stand-up. But then I was 17. Or maybe, I don't know. Groundlings. You had to pay money with a sword like I don't have to rely

1:20:41 it's just monetize that if they book a commercial they're still beholden to a lot of other people they have Once you get to a certain level. They'll build some credibility, Just because you're good at this other thing, stand-up because it was just me out there and i could rely on me and i could do it while i do engineering school so i chose engineering because like i knew i wanted to do this stuff so i thought

1:22:37 You're not going to be Jude Law because you have a theater degree. Okay. They're letting you go in a 20-year-old jungle gym for four years. The Theater of Hard Knocks. Yeah. anyone's ever going out for is like i used to come around here like two times a week I'm happy to be a tree. the thing is, So you can say that. it was probably you hear there's anomalies to that like because i would hear stories about sebastian which is so

1:25:54 I see. like you just can't you're colorblind you're missing it whatever it is you you don't have it His mom was in the fucking shower, but it was really him. Fame. It's like, all right, I knew I wanted to do stand-up. It sounds far-fetched maybe if i told it to and so she she was in she was in after that and she keeps on asking she's to be on the red carpet and like take pictures with Tina Fey. And like, and so she,

1:28:34 That is a hilarious thing to ask. okay. And she was a sweetheart. My dad is kind of more nuts and bolts. He'd be like, because I just got this place because- So when you get married- those things you know they're from afghanistan so it's a low in my dad's opinion it's kind of a low or anything just like you know like you're throwing your life away blah blah blah was

1:31:11 when did they accept you ever been to a comedy club one or two prostitutes you should talk trot that out there. I've seen a couple just like fur coats Oh. they love art but what if you were for their kid that allowed me to have a legitimate job to get me out here like i'm not a trust fund kid how else would i be close to where So some things happened.

1:33:45 I was just going, I thought everything was worth my time. it was in weird spots, like washing or like a laundromat and i don't know being creatively backlogged so i love stand-up and i love sketch those come to just like come to me. I would do funny videos in school, like video productions. I'm doing standup and then I moved to LA So I wasn't getting up a lot.

1:36:01 If you can't do anything for anybody and it kind of does well. Like, oh, I'm good. is it because now it's instagram because everything's more bite-sized so so i'm a sketch Like if it's a Key & Peele sketch that made it So I just have all these ideas and I always write them down on my phone and let me get this idea out of my head. And I would come up with some stuff, but I always found the things that always worked the best

1:39:04 Me too. I'll get the idea. I don't know, This many words Yeah, I'll record them. I'll tell Adam at the store, like this. Because when it's a packed You just have to choose different time slots or choose different shows to do it on. But I'm nobody. by putting, Five out of 10 are going to make it through. I'm not going to throw a D, D's got a lot of potential.

1:41:47 knows the expectation yeah four or five Yeah. Yeah. special i talk about it like they see me once once ever yeah yeah really yeah did you bomb oh yeah oh in the word in the biggest way Yeah. into stand-up. Yeah. So, So I go there to audition. Like just cause they're mostly singers. And it does well. One of 11 who get selected. What is that, 4,000? Yeah, it's one of our nicest theaters.

1:45:00 So I do the dress rehearsal. thinks like, You know? just based on the producer's request. Come to show everyone's there blah blah it's my time to Maybe. So I was going to get booed regardless. many people get to go through so I'm just trying to make sense of what happened and the world and my life moving forward. I go up the stairwell, My parents, well,

1:47:45 grateful that it did happen because you know when comics trade bomb stories i fucking win every time Fuck. That's your jam. I mean, I could have them come out to another show. know that's crazy spokane but these aren't seattle fuck man seattle used to be a scene yeah that They've got to come see you live. Yeah, just to mentally prepare. Yeah. We have a great relationship.

1:50:21 that none of this is written down. So we're talking about something that is right up there with music or even with sports. There's none of that for us. I think it was just such a foreign foreign i can understand where they're coming from because it's such a foreign concept if you get an engineering degree or a just got to concentrate on doing your best and figure out yeah what you can learn from other

1:52:33 Like, I support you. Yeah. Maybe I think there's a new breed Pete Holmes Yes. Yes. Yeah. worked out and i always thought man if i was a drug addict i'd probably be funnier i really used In terms of just seeing the comedy for what it is, was it part, it being new, rock star Yes. comedy but in that weird time you're gonna get some of the best stuff because it's like super

1:56:09 because like he's methodically surgically taking his time to proving the point of this argument And I think those are the most rewarding bits as comedians the longer you've been doing it. comedy store that people are looking forward to it because i think they feel the same way like Sweet. Let me tell you about the bubble of the 1980s. so I don't know if you remember Gorilla Black no he sounded exactly like Notorious B.I.G. no way

1:59:11 Yeah. and he was basically Well, that was a part of the bubble. in a they weren't participating in an art form they were mimicking they were mimicking the people you got babies then there's a lot of like david tell the perfect oh yeah got a shitload of babies They talked in the same way. he was one of those guys Oh, really? one of the main reasons They were Seinfeld babies or different.

2:03:17 Yes, yes. Had a great time. they would do it on purpose never left Boston they'd pay them in coke Right. Fuck him. They're all on coke. I saw Dom Herrera want someone funny too yes i want a great show you know the reason why i take ian or santino or And I think it's a way to discover new comics as well. really good um there's a theater right next door you'd probably be doing that like it's such a

2:06:09 but if it's some their theaters headlining so It's the best. credit for like, I don't know. that's like you were saying, like how many sets I do. Amazon and Apple. So Amazon is putting together a bunch of specials now, Maybe some of these other streaming services and another comedian varying degrees of really refreshing Uh-huh. But like a funny in a new way. he had hit some yeah like some of the words he uses to

2:09:34 And then his own podcast where he just looks right at the camera trained comedian if there ever really was one, would ever teach you to do theater. But here's the thing, and I wanted to bring this up with you, Jamie. right at the top of my list. the algorithm Do they search his name a lot? And he goes, no, no. Like, let's do it right now. Hi. See, it's not coming up.

2:11:52 Even when I typed in his actual account name, it didn't show up. Below it. Click on that. sense, because what does he have? Like a half a million followers? I don't know why Hezzy. But even though, still, you can't find it. I was like, if you're typing in no space, that's where the issue is. which he's not conservative, but what he is is, you know,

2:14:31 Yes. Go follow him. Yeah, i saw him in montreal just to tell instagram shadow bands we can get around you bitch he's a marketing genius it's just great to hear him talk about which Comedy Central did want to give him a special, Right. And look, he went straight from not selling out clubs Yeah. supporting hacks and thieves. I mean, who's going to pop. Who's going to be the next movie star? Who's going to be commercially viable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to find out, like, who's going to pop?

2:16:41 Yeah. And then Louis wound up leaving them and Attell wound up leaving them It hurt the store, because I told everybody. who was successful like me like i got another agent like that i mean but but i let my agent wanted an apology yeah and i was like you're out of your fucking mind i'm not apologizing to you and as he kept getting people Like, what?

2:19:35 He went from selling out cool about stand-up back in the day Look, we all know It's going to happen. Some people get delusional. I talk about being in a relationship so oh yeah you could stop doing that i really appreciate it that's hilarious i broke up with This is just brewing. Was there stairs nearby or would they have to go up them? But you want the gravity

2:21:17 And you just knock him over That I pulled that out of the bag I can take away I approach things this set so i'm just a little industrious it's taught me and also when it comes to bits like i breakfast, have coffee, and then you keep on refilling it. And I'm on my phone and I'm Acid Stag different blogs your favorite blogs So people don't really know about it.

2:23:29 so music plays a big part so even this is a little I mean for this type of music yeah whatever makes whatever makes the popular list Durante? hold on stop I'll have certain blogs. That's Poppy? I like finding... Yeah, it's like... Moonya, Dove. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Poppy? Who the fuck knows any of this music? collect material believe it or not yeah i think comics have to be amused and you have to be

2:24:32 Sitcoms suck it out of you too. Now I have a job about that but that's true because those other jobs you you have mental focus that you're not It was just this thing that I do over here and I want to do it, but it was always different than what Boeing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd take lunch and doctor's appointment and then i would do So you quit? They don't know about Hype Machine.

2:28:07 And then I also, and then i booked this show on mtv called disaster date which was like boiling points for dating And then I'll, and they're like, no, you can't do that. hey guys, If I was going to get fired, my engineering brain is like, for three months I mean I could have Ari used to collect Comes and goes He'd be like And all that to to apply because you're paying into it with your thing you have to hit a certain amount

2:31:10 But I think we had been at odds this day was going to come eventually That you don't have a day job anymore. Did you say all the good things you're getting? But I'm really proud of that. I never, that's a sign it's going well. And like, no, I got to be 100% of my art. There's a lot of hours in the day. Otherwise I'm going to be a hack. dude this town's so big yeah that's true so you get sucked up in the party yeah you'll see it too

2:33:49 is a viable art form on a large scale that doesn't have any... I think podcasting has taken some of the mystique out of it. Like, look at it. I'm glad I got you in here so tell everybody on Amazon called oh that thank you very much