Joe Rogan Experience #1336 — Legion Of Skanks Transcript

Transcript

0:00 I rarely watch the event live. Good to see you boys. People are listening to what? He gets high on his own supply. It would be a pile that you could fall into and take a nap. You know what I mean? Is that how you say his name? That's 20,000 pounds of weed. Yeah, it sounds like something I would say. I'm going to go, no, 40 million is not right. Is it even?

2:32 With a crow, 900? you got a large number of people with you i will never question mike tyson again ever this is it All in. What he's been through in his life, Yeah, it's very strange. gonna be mike tyson's trajectory yeah i just hope he doesn't get me too the tech the uh the I just remember him talking about it in that documentary. And that's when I mean, to be a great fighter, you have to be able to look at yourself.

5:43 And that can benefit And they put him in with a 16-year-old, because nobody wanted to believe that a 13-year-old No. That's so crazy. Nope. Jay, how many tattoos do we have in common? Oh, we're doing the same thing. Wow. Ah, that's actually cute. All right, bro. But I want my fucking name on your leg, bro. And she's doing all that. spell anything which is just not true uh like but it's supposed to be letters so i got when i believed chinese characters

9:46 and I couldn't wait to tell her mom that I got this tattoo. My girlfriend was so dumb, she didn't know her like, make sure you get the M good. weird because i only had 70 and i was like all right dude i have 70 i'm 18 i just turned 18 i No, I was 18. my big fat arm and your j is so tiny it's so tight is it still there yeah oh man it's bad it's bad Like, everyone's got to get a tattoo eventually.

12:47 You're going to have a lot of good years with awesome tattoos, or you're going to make this I was like, this is so bad. He just traced it. never get a tattoo, and it's all blended together now. Well, that's another thing about henna. You didn't even die getting a real tattoo. Well, I don't know if you can die, but I think it fucks you up. Getting painted on with hair dye can be poisonous to your skin. It's like, it's not good stuff. You didn't even die getting a real tattoo.

14:23 That's a weird one, right? thing yeah when someone's a great tattoo artist i'm always blown it's the most sloppy uncomfortable makes herself into different do that that chick is fucking talented what she does with makeup I'm a Nubian princess. Yeah. different chick than i was thinking of but yeah i guess it's crazy it's crazy if you you go scroll down and look at some of the eyeball ones

17:26 He did one of me. Somebody got me Skanks tattooed on his face and you look at it He's got the t-shirt in his mouth. bigger Jamie that guy did that with needles man I mean that's insane how there i will i'll give you a free legion of skanks t-shirt you show me there's the dude wow Whatever it was, you were right. I think Ari's... He's been bleeding since I've known him.

19:53 when I was lifting weights. Well, this is actually how we got introduced to Ari's butthole, was I was complaining about That's a hemorrhoid. Remember the blade vampire mouths when they evolved? I get staying away from the doctors. Yeah, I know, but I mean, it's... I've seen it thrown at people. But then you look at him again. He was trying to win that goddamn thing.

22:21 Good luck. time we made it a competition. And I think it's better many more days are there i'm gonna have to do a bunch of i want to have to do nine in a row And over a course of time. the russian bathhouse over and over again on a loop for five hours. hours a day, seven hours a day. for it was doing anything like that till there's no sleep is there an advantage to starting off being like one of the fattest guys

25:34 So it might actually be easier because you're just used to doing it. So I've got a TV right in front of me, and I'm on this fucking elliptical machine watching fights. I sweat so much that i set off the fire alarm But Bert, there was no fucking way. We're going to hell. He's barely working out. That's why I didn't Want to lose to him It's a very Lewis thing

28:00 To that standard acknowledgement of your failings when it comes to like little goals that you set for you it's like don't fully understand what it is it's simple you just have a small feeding window like uh for me Why? Oh, gay. lose weight you could do all that or lewis i know you just fist fight a comedian yeah Meat. maybe i don't know i only had it hit i had it hit twice ever in my toe it was awful well you had

30:53 I gouted up. purines, Here it is. chemical compounds Hypouremia. I was like, I'm fucking hungry. fucking embarrassing thing like here suck a lemon keep getting me things Unless the door is closed. They will check up your asshole every time you fly on a plane. Yeah, probably. That's what you're hoping. So he opens up the bin on the other side and puts his bag in and sits down.

34:03 He's like, no, you have yours, and I have mine, and yours is full, and he goes to grab Well, in first class, I wish one of those degenerate fucks from the back would try to We're in the air, and they're going at it again. The lady made me. He was like, what do you want to do? just get him some orange juice. Air marshals? You're like, they don't have a bomb.

35:46 what are you going to deal with you have to really Guantanamo or something And yeah, as he's walking down the aisle. What else is going down? plane's one of the funniest videos that guy didn't even do anything he's going i want to go home he The plane's about to take off. They do have security. louis that's the thing it's the terms of service dumb line they can do anything they want anything

38:11 This is what's hilarious. I know that you have opinions on this. And also, those guys. I know that we don't know what happened. I know what fucking happened. They were like, no, we don't. Absolutely. if they're there, you know, writing. Just fucking grab them and throw them. Yeah. We got it in New York, but you guys got it real bad. They're not that aggressive.

41:06 Yeah. and they smelled like a box and they smelled I live in East Village, New York, and there is so many kids that you're like, fucked up shit at home you don't end up on the streets to to you know rebel against There's no prepaid phones anymore. So everyone on the street has wi-fi phones are used by poor people and how many of them are used to commit crimes like serious

44:15 and get a bottom of the line phone that's affordable that's better than anything that and then you never have to pay it again And so if you're a homeless, my friends make fun of me. Do you have the general insurance too? You just do everything, it's unlimited i have i've measured pcs guys and i uh so if you're a homeless make you're gonna not tell people yeah i'm confused now the truth because you screenshot every time

45:31 Boost Mobile that it's great Because people are like, no, no, Hyundai is that car that costs, You know, like the problem is like anytime anything's a bargain, ... I don't give a shit now. always was talking about how much she spent on a purse which i said is ridiculous and she goes but Right. I mean, I did check it was a fashion check. that. It was just V-O-I-T.

48:28 Yeah there were Okay Yeah A6 So I was a big Jenko Jean guy. Well, Converse Chucks never went out of style. I don't like smooshy shoes that much. But maybe that's that they had. Yeah, that's weird. It doesn't seem like a lot of support. But maybe that's Oh, they weren't cool? Well, here's the thing. Wait, there was a difference? Sure. Fat tongue Fila's.

50:23 that's like... no no the air force ones are about their basic that's just you oh it's my yeah well doesn't You're into skate shoes, right? Yeah. Like an old white guy He's hilarious. What's her name? Like, I almost believe the white guy's excuse, but he is lost. He just starts giving notes. That's not even... Sweet. He just got down. would fuck him based off of you know a multitude of things and the set right so ari does his he

53:53 Yeah. No, it was all part of the theatrical performance. He's a man. You're okay here. And it's like, that's bullshit. Nobody was going after this venue and going like, oh, you need to release a statement. they will boycott they will tweet every day they their thing is to try to ruin someone for you know it's blue cross it was a fucking army national guard companies were two firemen i wrote it down

56:54 is woke. and he's ready to get some dick. I don't remember who did the commercial I find it strange, But don't you think I'm getting my fucking insurance from that hot Spanish broad. You got your fucking gym membership. it's so weird runs a business it's like if i go if i go to buy a sandwich do i have to go like so where a year where it wasn't taken care of,

59:04 then you're racist. Like everything that you support, if he supports it, just his business practices, then you're racist. It's a juicy soap opera. and many people would, right? But you're saying the whole country should break up. and we have this built-in fear of this kind of shit happening. I would love to hear it, like an honestly laid out argument of why someone like Trump's better if you're a real estate developer.

1:01:56 i don't know i don't think this is necessarily just bad people that have a lot of money i think It was like Chick-fil-A, McDonald's. A lot of big businesses support Trump. confirmed you know whatever i mean even with the way you looked at the mueller report like 100%. The fucked up part is only having really two choices And I disagree with her on like 80% of her shit.

1:05:32 It's like, well, you're just kind of a wimp. Oh, she was serious. It was her job to clean up the DVDs. I watch the show Cops a lot shot, The physical, with some cops, video yeah and starts punching her face and while she and the daughter's screaming stop it daddy Me saying the idea is not like, fuck chicks. This was a girl by herself. men fighting with this woman kind of grabbing

1:08:30 Get the fuck off of him! Same deal. 99% of the time, I'm fucking taking it and pointing it right back at her. I don't want to be a cop. If every day you're pulling people over that might shoot you, every day you're dealing And you've got to know when to abuse it, when to use it. a normal person would go, excuse me, guys, because they're wearing a- They're dealing with a lot of people.

1:10:51 I had a job as a security guard for a brief moment in time when I was like 19 years old. I was like, oh, okay, so this is what's going on. taking people's booze away. Joe, what did you let happen? There's no bank robbers there. There's no murderers there. All the women are asleep. It's such a simple little job. It's easy. There's no criminals there. There's no bank robbers there.

1:12:26 even if you don't care if people, you were like, you're like, did that in the movie though they broke that down they showed that side of it where they were like oh and then they and he gets into it too it's just people But it also makes it very nice when you run into friendly cops. treat you the wrong way there's a repercussion right there you're like well walk out of here

1:14:53 and they're like, Dude, did you see the video in New York Like, I'll be a famous cop. Pour water on me I'm so close to my pension dowd michael dowd i didn't see it it's a excellent documentary it's dowd it might be yeah it's dowd He just got, you know, a wild team yeah but they were in the chain of a lot of those murders that's what i think is like

1:17:10 But what it tells you, to someone one i mean it was just like he was roped into it like right away when you listen to his story it's we didn't find anything. that no one whistle blows You know what I mean? we'll do that. from drug dealer money. and these cops who are putting their lives- If you get caught, you should be arrested. Jay, they won't let you go that long.

1:19:26 propping up gigantic criminal enterprises because that is also as old as we've had laws as long as And it's propped up because drugs are illegal. There's people on this side of the line who have the drugs. Yeah, Mike DeStefano, who died a few years ago in a New York comic, he had a joke. He goes, when I tell that family, you're just so close to the answer.

1:21:45 Since weed became legal But even if that's the case Do your heroin since legalization it's better versus maybe would have. before we were going to see The night before we wanted to smoke, and it took us, there was no way to get it. Still. That's true. I think so. i go what do you mean my dentist is black I love it. He did a UFC thing for a minute, right?

1:25:11 and yelling about this fight that uh everybody thought like wow wouldn't it be great if there Oh, that's right, it was Colby. Yep. Yep. He went heel. Well, Chael did a similar thing. Very smart. it's effective see the thing about it being contrived is it makes it obvious that he's You see the amount of strikes of that guy fucking through. very obvious that it's just an act and if you're a fan of mixed martial arts you have to appreciate

1:28:19 The fact that he could do that to Robbie Lawler, completely shut down his offense Very, very good in that fight. Yeah. They're going to go in there and fight. That was during negotiations, I guarantee. Nuts for him I mean as loud as anybody I don't think some people in the UFC realize how big a star he really is. You have to credit Conor. And it was a dance, and Nate brought it,

1:30:48 because Nate was I get goosebumps it's awesome oh dude it was the fucking best oh and then yeah you just gotta be a human The UFC isn't using that old belt anymore. It's totally legal in California. It actually calms you down a little bit with the CBD along with the THC. So to get one in one, you'd have to- It was by itself. know there's a lot i think the plant itself is what's magic it's a crazy goddamn plant that

1:33:36 It's a fucking nutty plant, man. hemp is is the fibers so what we're using to get high is the buds right the stems and all the other And then in the 1930s, some dude came up with something called a decorticator. and acid legal somewhere in the states by the way that's a steep amy ochich fucking heavyweight Look, DC's my very good He does not like losing.

1:36:24 I'm like, look, the fight is supposed to be steep, eh? but to just say brock lesnar yeah because this is a big it was it was the most naked example of been in the game. He's the best heavyweight ones who are buying the paper views and paying for it so if more of them want this yeah and what's good for the good is good for the francis and ganu just destroyed Kane and Junior Dos Santos.

1:38:37 He looks like, you know, like I want to see that rematch. I remember thinking, no one's going to survive that. a heavyweight than like 135 pounder though just to be hit a thousand times in the head. Mickey Gall and you must see that a lot, but he wasn't really like 100% in. Get out. And they're waiting. Am I following you correctly i think at the fucking highest levels of any combat sport you have to be all in i don't think i don't think that's something you could dabble in it's a

1:41:18 Champion, though. He has a huge name. they're going to, you know, when you think about getting out, And then once it kind of shit hits the fan it reminds me of comedy because like it takes a But have you watched that guy's YouTube channel? that are making... I'm just making a point they've got their legs under them like good now they can start figuring out what their direction

1:43:29 that's crazy he was famous first Right Monsters from the Chappelle show Very known He was also famous from the Chappelle show and from two of the greatest doing his third set from moment one, for the first time? for that terrible song You can make a song in a vacuum. other than the producers and them. Didn't someone? comedy show I was quite confused

1:46:24 I gotta do it fuck I gotta do it, fuck. I gotta do it. The reason laugh tracks doesn't have a laugh track. like this performance, came to you in person you'd feel weird When you're doing stand up Something that only works Why are you saying it like this Gerard is just a creative guy, and he People sweeping up. People mulling around in the back behind the stage people like sweeping up people

1:48:59 the material of it to know i'm not saying aziz it's not a good hour i just feel like when you're like we have of those things and then you're like It was like when Steve Jobs, the first Apple logo, he just paid $250,000 for. That's a lot of money for a deal. I'll give you $250 and if? We're not even successful yet. We don't even have a logo. It was pretty easy.

1:50:15 I'm going to bite out of it, bitch. It's amazing. oh yeah i don't know what is the difference uh the it's the difference is just the way your fingers fucking smooth if you if you picked up like um galaxies whatever yeah like a galaxy s10 those I think they came out with a new Blackberry. Ori pretends to not have a fucking real phone. Yeah, he's got it.

1:52:44 It was so fucking annoying. annoying yeah that thing would break but uh the difference between that of it yeah that's the argument i mean look it's the most successful company in the fucking history of musk's thing doesn't do that then the next thing will but the the ultimate goal is going to be And I think the singularity they think for artificial intelligence, there was a symposium

1:54:56 I mean, I think I heard part of the conversation live in where we are just at war and that's where it's fucking scary that's what i don't like about I keep a hand on the wheel. He's not involved at all Like a cell phone mount But they can't sell it as that, and the absolute fastest way for us to get from point A to point B Did it blow your mind the first time you were on a highway with it?

1:56:55 It'll probably just give you the experience in a chip. wow that would be the or fourth version it's just such obvious like atari graphics on the screen it's like the year 2050 The Gatt looking like the uniform That's why chicks buy expensive bags. If you write, though, if you write a lot and type a lot, they're the shittiest. It's just not comfortable for typing on.

1:59:13 The old school, the thing that we learned. because i hate the fucking new keyboard it's like i don't know what i'm touching yeah it's not it's not moving it's so so shallow but apparently they're gonna fix that It's fine. I think once you're used to it, you're used when you're doing that, you get a real good feel of where the keys are. they use that dust blast thing it's great oh yeah i don't use any of that just blow and come

2:01:46 and then I just dude, on that finger. Ew. But. When it's not a thumb anymore. so, You don't have any kids. Now you've become even more libertarian, correct? Teach a baby how to shoot a gun. The projectiles my son has, there's Nerf guns. What do you think about bears? before they started They're just guys doodly dude things right oh definitely but but doodly dude thing you know you know no

2:04:33 probably going to have an all right life. What's going on here? Great guys. Especially in the private area. No, I think this is going to go away. Oh, no. but he's still a fucking stocky dude. There's no chance. Chris Weidman? He's out of shape, and he's a tiny little fella. And you're not losing that strength Push it all in On Lenny. You bet. The whole house. The whole.

2:07:16 So I'd say he's. It's nice. Lenny Dystra indicted for drugs threats following arrest in May. bag it's 56 yeah wow wow i thought he was older than that even damn living them hard years son Lenny Dykstra went on Howard Stern immediately just used it for like a credit and then just debunked his whole thing so he flew Headgear doesn't help you at all. from cuts,

2:09:34 it's a real mixed bag. I think it makes I tried to change it at the end because I started sparring with it, So I tried to get them to take it off, and they wouldn't. Yeah. it's not safer but the idea is that the only reason why they play that way is because the Yeah, probably. The defensive-offensive line, just the idea that it's the funniest thing.

2:11:22 But where do you stop? and then you get head-to-head taken out from someone else. once a year if if they're getting knocked out once a year? Yeah, these guys. Probably you're better off getting one-punch knockouts. because you're going to keep taking too many shots. so you'd never want to stop it. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, holy shit shit he's winning this round now he's winning the rest of the round after

2:14:41 you're supposed to fight like you're giving people options to defend themselves. You could both look like pussies and dance around for a half hour. guy doesn't. you've got to always be aware Fuck, 2019, you have no idea. Look at the size of their necks. definitely, I like just stand-up only fights. and then just teeing them out with perfect timing,

2:17:10 If you're in the building with a guy You can't grab somebody's fucking balls and yank them off their body and bite their nose. But you used to be able hammering his dick. I'm not letting go him a bunch. Yeah, dude, that was fucking much technique in headbutting i would rather be headbutted than be head kicked by a dude who knows It's our friend Robin Black.

2:19:43 dude goes off to the side, and his nose and the soft tissue. No, no, no. Oh he broke his chin open dude? He split his shit up. It separates his teeth. He takes the headbutts to the mouth She fought. Inside. And brass knuckles were regular. knuckles and he fucking drilled this kid in the face and broke his jaw and for the whole school No. I don't think the kid who did it.

2:22:29 Dude. Kids who get beat up them yeah i don't think people talk about that enough they talk about all the violence in the Because they take it personally like you're attacking their parents. if you say if your girl if my man talks too much shit i smack him in his face girls will be like no way it could be anything other than stupid whoever it's done on purpose if it's it was malicious or do you think it was a legitimate mistake in terms of translating it? There's no way it could be anything other than stupid.

2:24:38 And it's really bad timing because she was almost uncuttable last year. She'd go to 1FC. flocks to her. of the UFC at the Garden That was the best. Gina was queen when it was like three-minute rounds. Yeah, for sure. That's part of the issue. She tested was taking some stuff, you know, for sure. Oh, sure. Yeah, for sure. right? you could you could do it it's fine and then he just looks on like he's like

2:26:52 Then your friend puts his hands, his palms on your carotid arteries and just presses. yeah 11 developing developing your brain yeah it probably shouldn't long term studies I'll tap quick thing dimension i've lived a hundred lives since then since i was knocked out that had that happens to He didn't even thought he thought his fight was a few weeks out still.

2:28:55 It was one of the worst knockouts of all time. The dangerous thing about two football players crashing their bodies into each other is exactly that. Because I like Ben. And then that's part of the marketing himself, is he has his own down-home version of talking he just that's his character and is in his part of his strategies to annoy the fuck out of you

2:30:59 the way he circled see the way he circled he circled off to the side and then came out on And that does kind of demonstrate that. Like, if you're real backyard fighting video. Oh yeah. later is when i saw him in mma and uh he's had a pretty crazy trajectory to be where he's at right There's like this dip in what he That fight will be huge Oh man I'm not

2:33:00 And he'll try can't cam's description of him he said listen the guy talks all this crazy shit right he's doing it He wasn't firing back. Because his back's on the cage. when you punch him, how hard do you punch him? He's like 70% when to do those. Maybe you're Francis like we saw and dropping him Oh, that one. fucking loud but it's it's it wasn't it was the crispness of it he was he was standing in front

2:35:58 It's hard when you really love a guy and you're watching him fight. It's right here. with a left hook, You know who's one It's the weirdest feeling, man. is a fucking master at this shit. He would just but Golovkin's got that low guard with his right arm. It's amazing to watch. lot of people that thought because of the way he knocked stipe out maybe stipe isn't as durable as

2:38:56 And when he started ripping the body in the fourth round, it was like, whoa. I mean, that's such a standard technique. He didn't block it. He didn't try to answer to it. He didn't duck it. He didn't block it. But still, you're looking like nothing's wrong. got him against the cage, started uncorking punches And Daniel Cormier, Yeah, I believe. Could be.

2:40:46 not the same as beating Jon Jones. It worked on him. and he'll probably consult with his family and he wasn't listening to his corner. I mean, it was a perfect punch for sure. Daniel can adjust. think Ngannou might be the next guy. going to be there. If he full-on We all thought he had a chance of doing it the first time that title back. this is before the fight.

2:44:50 And I can't even put my finger on why. You might go flying into a fucking tree. when Stipe's done, Francis is the and there's not going to be times where he can 100% unload and know for sure the guy's not going is john jones and stipe did it more emphatically you know i mean it was pretty goddamn impressive took down DC. Stipe took down DC. That's giant. The only other guy who's ever done that is Jon Jones.

2:46:39 steroids to the gills, he'll probably be at just what he walks around at. when John was down at Jackson's And I think as a heavyweight, he'd be a fuckload to handle for a lot of guys. Because he's definitely the best pound for pound fighter in the UFC right now. Do you think it was a bad decision? It really should be a victory. Who the fuck has fought like Lyoto Machida, Rashad Evans, Rampage Jackson,

2:48:40 Like that one loss on his record, if you could really break it down, Bulk face For comedy I appreciate the fuck out of it That was so much fun, brother.