Joe Rogan Experience #1340002 — Kevin Smith Transcript

Transcript

0:00 My brother just has this expression where he just kind of gives me the slow nod, which is, he's gone. You know, we were upset and stuff. She told Donald, call the ambulance, call the hospital. And I go, what? And the notion of my father dying screaming changed my life because I was like, whimsies anytime i'm like back in the day i'd have a good idea something i really wanted to

2:27 You can't just do the climb every mountain shit. because you seem like if i had a guess i bet you haven't changed at all yeah you just pretty much So you think they just grounded you so much? But, like, the hard boys, as my mom used to say when I was a kid. You gotta be fucking sharp. their biggest weapon out of their quiver the biggest thing they got and then suddenly you've

4:34 so much as Kato from the old Pink Panther They'll let you know. Like, I respected that. I'm sorry. i had as one of three kids raised Catholic in Highlands, New Jersey, Like he always knew what to say. I'd be as grounded. Knowing those dudes Why the fuck aren't we experiencing it higher? Kevin just gave me right across the street from uh Oh man, you're harshing my buzz.

8:12 right and so he's like give me your shit you're shaking telling her yeah you can tell it's still And I'm thinking, all right, this is execution style. from the 50s now where I'm like walking around like what's he doing on my side of the store you but when you're in that big of a shock, you're just And he's like, you've got a girlfriend. Even if you had yourself strapped with dynamite, maybe.

10:23 Usually. About midnight. And three months before that Well, he's been shot at in Burbank and Kmart's in Burbank. Well, Tulip Lake. There gotta be chicks that want to fuck fucking a hero cop. cop but it was kind of weird like hearing like my girlfriend having the talk like uh yeah i'm an Right, exactly. I was like, all right, this cop is crazy. Wizards?

13:17 You're scared of monsters, you know, like werewolves and stuff. Somebody tweeted it to me and I retweeted it. Yeah, well, not here, fortunately. People have spotted them in this community several times. Like, one of them, they tracked from South Dakota So this is from a group of genetics from South Dakota. That's what they do. and I don't want to get out of my car in other neighborhoods.

15:08 Just playing with it. Muscular evil looking cats You read that story online about the kid who got bit by a polar bear And this polar bear comes fucking through was growling because its fucking mouth was over his ear dude oh my god and he starts punching But I'm like, dude, you got your head bit by a polar bear. Oh, my God. a lot more shark attacks,

17:37 it was in the 80s. It didn't rain enough, so there's not enough food, They just start eating. Only until it gets awkward. and becomes a big mouth? Is it good? Should I try it? If you read magazines, essentially you're choking out your leg. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, dude. And then like sometimes I'll try to man up But I guess that's unhealthy. I'm like, I'm down to the occasional magazine.

20:46 You never stand and wiped up? And somebody would get up, stand up, and they'd wipe your ass for you. and I think it develops as you get older, so I'm wiping almost like my man puss. Will Smith, asshole cleaning aficionado. And he's like, I haven't gotten back since. I've used them, though, for four years and never had any problems. It's almost impossible to find now. Someone on the fuck out of here. Oh, dude, it was the most ridiculous thing. I tweeted it. It's almost impossible to find now.

23:00 So I had these guys come over. And it was all clogged up with those little fucking flushable wipes. you might have a little poo on your hand That's a silly move. Exactly. You can talk all day about, oh, I have psoriasis on my elbow. You know, you could say, dude, when I get home, It feels really good. about your asshole and pleasure that makes me terrified does it really yeah something i'll tell

25:40 I know, it sounds deep. It was painful, man. I've got hair down there, too. I was crying. I think I see like an inflamed area. I go, really? One's topical, one a little more insertion. And I was like, dude, I don't like these odds. And it was fucking misery. Rough around with your butthole. Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to even go near it. Rough around with your butthole?

28:37 He goes, if you're in a room, 45% of the people in the room are dealing with anal fissure. It would be much easier because you wouldn't have people waiting as long as they do to come in. I said, I do, as a matter of fact. and your butt cheeks are clenched and your asshole So six weeks, only 50%? Six weeks, 50%. Oh, look out for it, dude. You never want that. Oh, my God. That sounds horrible. I remember smoking weed.

30:04 But it only felt better for the moment I was taking the shit. Yeah, the last thing you want is asshole problems. Get off those toilets those toilets yeah it's the fulcrum of your body i had the internal They said that I was supposed to go back maybe two or three times. Not Jew clam style. Is that what it is? be able to go for a couple hours so once in a while he shoots somebody and there's blood everywhere. It's like a crime scene.

32:13 Jesus. Well, there's going to be a big card on Fox coming up real soon. So that should be fun. I don't have to buy tickets for this shit? I want to make sure. I mean, they get different deals, but, you know, when we were over there. We don't like this. There was something crazy where you could only get it on pay-per-view. If I didn't have to pay taxes to two different countries.

34:16 Oh, if you're talking about doing dual citizen. I don't mind weather. I would live in Edmonton, too. into whale art. You know, Boston, you risk being stuck. With the axe. Oh, it was brilliant. Make a bad one. Yeah, the TV movie one is tough. I never saw the TV worse one. Make a terrible one. This other one was too good. Make a bad one. But to be fair, it's'll give it a shot right the dude or but to be

36:27 Yeah. and you're not exactly sure how he's controlling that. A little bit of crazy, and then he gets on pills. I don't even think that. so completely and captivating yes i'm sorry create it real make it so real that you're sitting there I think it was Ennis or Ennis he played? The character he Parks, Michael Parks did that for me I said Parks. Spider-Man

39:00 What did I say Yeah, Joe. It's about dudes who find money in the woods. Well done. Perfect example. But that demon inside her beats Billy Bob Thornton is crazy as fuck, yes. That is one of those stories you know, he quit to be It was the furthest thing from acting because you're right. Some of his movies where he does he really would cut your fucking

42:22 would be fucking saying Kevin. no reason to know my name. And I was like, what did the cylinder sound like? He must have. the way he's following through with his punches, with his footwork. Right. a real professional boxer. He didn't look like a boxer? And if you look at a classic boxer, they have and it looks very obvious. going to like it. No one's going to like a halfway

45:37 Yeah. other than Daniel Day-Lewis And he would go down to the Hollywood boxing gym. There's only a few guys who can hit that level, that Daniel Day-Lewis, It's gotta be Denzel. I think Denzel Washington looks like a very good athlete, Yeah, totally. Oh, God, yeah. And you know on YouTube, which you can now. They've got tons The mannerisms, the way he holds his hand as he speaks, it's crazy.

48:24 He was really good at it. Yeah. He becomes it. He's one of those guys. To put your mind into that place I don't think I've ever seen Michael Parks and Melissa Lea. Now, listen, I had known nothing. I heard it was a horror film, question mark. fucking... This is Kevin He deserves so much attention. Yeah. All that shit that I said about Daniel Day-Lewis, exact same shit I'm saying about this guy. He's one of those very special talents.

52:18 know there's imminent death yeah like it's set up right there but his performance is so riveting you've ever heard and rather than be like A guitar solo? What kind of music? You keep going and dragging me in with you. How did that character come about? And basically, that dude created that character for me. I love acting. Every once in a while you meet one of these performers

54:24 Like, you know, Jud have won a supporting Oscar nomination. I was like, yeah, fuck yeah, I want to see the vampire movie. he gets killed in the first fucking 10 minutes. Imagine the amount of fucking information like I did. We didn't do many takes at all because we were just, you know, we didn't have a lot of money and shit. So good. He inspired it. I told him there were days on set like I did.

56:01 If you're good, I'm like, I don't direct the movie as much as I sit there and edit it in my head on set because you don't direct Michael Parks. Well, he had that script for, what, You make sure you keep it on the tracks. He essentially kind of didn't say the dialogue out loud, fucking do it from beginning to end what do you need this for blah blah and what i realized was because he was dialed in like he knew what was going to

58:28 A month before we start shooting, we're in my kitchen. And so I was like, oh, my God, Parks. The gravitas of the life that Michael Parks has led in forming every job he did or didn't get, And I wanted him to do two-dimensional cartoon. I was like, right on. He's going to tell you exactly how he fucking feels. take good ideas, leave stuff behind. and there you are you know and and you say you're

1:01:15 And I was going, because people would recognize me. Like, this dude went in all about the craft, People that didn't know him fell in love with him as we made the movie And he's like, yeah, man, I can sing Farther And it's a church song, but I'm still way into it. So he brought that to it, too, the elements of singing. But his grandfather still also had a sense of humor for the kids,

1:03:50 eloquently he goes his father also preached the holy word but he probably touched his dick so he He felt represented. going like i don't know man like how do i address this i don't want him to wear this and she was the outfit and the whole time i feared it until we went in front of cameras. It's hard to believe Quentin Tarantino particularly. Quentin's got his own fucking movie theater at his house.

1:06:45 state there's me quentin and parks michael parks and he liked it he he liked it so he really loved he goes, come in the house. Because the theater but he also still has VHS. Parks. And Quentin throws tape to tape or from tv to tape the segments of his performance everything that involves even though it's programmers all around him, check and this is about the best, the furthest we can go.

1:09:25 There is no such thing as trash cinema to this guy. the ultimate Michael Parks movie I was like right right right! Right! So for me, it was side and him and Parks sat shit you made mixtapes of when you were a kid. But that's like you with fucking MMA or whatever the fuck. For everything, when you came on our show, Like, he's one of the smartest dudes I ever met.

1:11:52 what it is at all. What it is other men and look we have a society where obviously that's illegal you can't you can't there's only one other way around it. heinous sexual crimes if it's difficult taken out. But their animation It's got to be weird when You look like you're probably a mutt. It's like you look at... Japanese guys look like Japanese guys.

1:15:00 similar look with all these different people back eons. Like Shogun. Whenever he was writing this book, basically, he was a Ronin. But his whole life was based on balance. the ability to draw and paint, the ability to write poetry and to elegantly express your feelings. that once you find out how to tap into anything, This is a translation from Japanese, so it's probably not totally accurate.

1:18:12 doesn't it? They want to see less and less of the world. It was all about like, Hey man, everything's a journey. And you know, it's like the journey is Because you're rich as fuck. You can talk to them whenever you want to. It's true.