Joe Rogan Experience #1372 — Kevin Smith Transcript

Transcript

0:01 Headphones. No, we don't need them. How many days have you ever done it? So I'm like, well, I'm going to spend that time as well as I possibly can. the impression you too i know you do a lot more and shit well let's talk about that real quick i get to interview you the fucking medium you gotta tell me if don't wince you gotta tell me it feels good otherwise

3:13 Because you're the same person, right? can i tell a quick story yeah because i don't want i never want to cut you off because you and I reach out to everybody I know I'll reach out to Joe. he goes, I hate that acting I just don't. I don't have a whole day. Why? And then stand-up, has that increased? We're going to carry that one over to the next week.

6:22 Believe me, I'm not babooning on you, Spock, going like, why didn't you come? I just don't have time. It was the most interesting things i know and believe me i'm not babooning on your spot going like why didn't you come i just don't have time it was the most on brand fucking access all the time like um we're gonna do it in a clip and then take a bunch of time off and stuff

7:36 and then transitioned into podcasting, But the business, my industry or the industry that I sometimes work in, use podcasting like proof of concept now. That's what's happening a lot. like she's producing, Six figure thing. And clearly every time you're like, why would I bother? And then I realized, why would you slap a logo on it? of people like built their ships and then like instantly tried to sell them and like this was

10:28 Adam Curry is the absolute first. I know, but- I think he named it. And it's going to sound promotional, but it kind of is, This is a sativa. Let me see that. He's like Swamp Thing. one of them mcdonald's mcgriddles yes yes bitch it's like smoking a mcgriddle how'd they do that So that's the Sativa. So this is like 45% THC right here. Be Real went down?

13:31 to be it'll change it's like werewolf weed it'll change it 20 what it used to be i mean if you attack after right the day after the heart attack because my kid made me my kid was didn't know where to look you would never tell he's like right now there's no lasting damage And I'm intermittent faster. A guy my size certainly didn't need to be eating breakfast.

15:44 It depends. But I've gone as late as like 1, 2 in the afternoon. you know i just do it based on what's the soonest you eat then generally speaking it depends but i've done that i burn off too many calories i think you also work out every day i just have I'm maintaining. We're just touring the movie. sold tickets in advance. A lot of the tours sold This is the crowd the movie was made for,

18:24 It's like stand-up, but with the movie essentially right right and you know it's it's q and a because he's the star of the movie and he's amazing in the fucking flick like i tell things here on camera now we've got a movie like he opened up the entire world to us so it's his Otherwise, if it's silence, it's death. this is a place called studio 35 they were like tell joe rogan we want him i was like to be fair

21:45 were staying there we went to do a show at studio 35 like years ago for the first time like almost and i realized every fucking room had a box of tissues in the corner. I think I remember that night I don't care right now it's a great place 2009 Comedy Central special at the it was a First show in Houston sold out. When is it? Like I post every day on Instagram and every day on Twitter.

24:39 And not men like we're fucking butch. 52 was when we were in high school which was what dead people people who didn't take vitamins people I'll put cigarettes down. with 30 cbds he jacks out the cbd so when you smoke it you're not only you're healing something Yeah. guy he's seriously opening a fucking beer with a knife look how butch you are oh my god that's so

27:29 Who could lose the most over the course of a month. During the whole weight loss challenge, Bert kept drinking. it was just pure coincidence that we started with the first weight loss thing was october as well doing it. So we did it sense yeah because ari was gone for like four months in in Asia. So we had sobriety for a month plus 15 90-minute hot yoga classes over the month.

29:23 So that year, there was a competition a competition and that year we were working out you can hear it listen to your oh my god look at look at the fog yeah oh there's the alarm So that's the challenge this month. I've never heard that before. And there's a metal band called Sam Hain. You're not interested. back how much have you lost all depends from well my highest weight i ever was like at one point i

32:58 just eat potatoes for like two weeks and i was like this will be easy i love potatoes and after Oh my God, potato and stuff and then you realize oh i'm okay like i didn't die and my body will start feeding do that anymore right so it's not it's not as invasive to go through your femoral and so you go through the This meat-eating. So being vegan and also intermittent fasting,

35:36 yeah a lean woman or a young you know or a lean man i mean how much you weigh all right well half of you that's crazy um that's a that's an I still got my mom and my dad's hearts. Yeah, all the way up and stuff. Like I ain't never done a pull-up my entire fucking life. and i've also got like access to like hey i'll hire you yes it's not even like i gotta get my

38:09 Carrying weight. know three days a week and you're fucking golden what make a giant change in your life sure well you know you're just trying to be healthy right you're not trying to fucking win mr olympia just So it's me. carving a pathway through rocks that shit takes forever it takes forever and that's the same thing And a life changing thing It's a great exercise.

40:59 We're standing up with proper technique, and then you let it down, and then you sit down again, This meathead mentality to open up a jar of pickles everything's moving better you know and then you ramp it up a little and he didn't look like grandpa so i never associated it but apparently he was a boxer Even the man in the ring sometimes when you're doing a UFC event

43:47 and it's all up to me and my fists, Maybe it would have been a way to make a living. And the story was that my grandmother, like when they had their first kid, until I became older and I became something of the man in the ring myself. I know what it's like to stand at attention for everybody, And we like it and we do it because there's power to it and it feels fantastic.

46:15 And then it made me reconsider my grandparents. Yes. I'm going to have to jump off this ride one day. Every fighter does. You hit someone and you see them get hurt. 98 year old boxers out there you think he faced his own mortality every boxer does every fighter anymore i can get off this ride or you're the type of person that doesn't give a fuck and you want to be a champion and your your thought is

48:22 The consequences, zigging and zagging you you go the wrong way you run into There's some different things they're doing with magnets and different things they're doing with stem cells where they're shooting them straight into your cerebral spinal fluid. you one ring for the other and he was like fuck god damn it gussy he called her gussy I tell them, you've got to get the fuck out of this now.

50:35 I get fucking mean because I think you got to know out, I go hard and I tell them. And I've tell them and you know i've done it to friends Richard Steele stopped the fight. He can barely put together a sentence, the mike tyson that destroyed marvis Frazier. Think about that motherfucker. But when someone's in, they're in. never made it they still got brain damage the the fucking the the gods of combat sports they

54:16 Subconcussive trauma is terrible, but knockouts are also horrific. out and they are never the same again this is a real thing you can get a shot to the head a golf Oh, my God. You're so dialed in it's beautiful um i could you're the ken burns of of combat sports i can listen to you spin yarns tell When I stopped fighting, I knew. Like, you don't feel good.

56:50 And that's how the person went out. I got dropped with a punch. I was in a kickboxing fight. I would get sick sometimes And my legs just went boink into your body and everything just shuts off it's weird like i was totally conscious but my legs I think it's safer. So you went down, ass under your ass? And I had known that I was half in, half out. No.

1:00:30 I got to ask a question on behalf of somebody else. Yes. Gerard grandmother? Yes. Named Josie? Yes. He goes, I don't have 100% confirmation on this, but I'm pretty sure Joe Rogan is my cousin. mine get knocked out really bad. There was this thing like, what am I doing? the opposite of a loser yes winner in most cases where Where I wasn't before that. I was a loser.

1:02:35 Yes, yes. I can do something that's fulfilling and rewarding and I know that I'm not a loser. You're not going to be successful immediately and you're going to fail. Once you understand the way broadly, you can see it in everything. Meaning don't wait until you drop dead to find out you were God all along. You can kind of do anything. everybody finds their own way and so the shift to me from doing something that was competition

1:05:59 And I was like, what is that? It's like when you see what porn stars get paid for anal and you're like, what? Yeah, but the fight's going to happen with or without the audience, correct? and there was no I read about fucking to take a punch That might be worse than hitting you. and received the fucking punch. But yeah, I did a lot of that too. you hang out with you well there was a lot of guys that you'll never hear about because they

1:09:15 one of the best some of the best comedians i've ever seen in my life and they were just local and above it there was a comedy club at the charles playhouse and then across the street other like that i i had comedy for psychos that's how i thought of it and my friend steve graham who i didn't understand and then i went to an open mic night one of the things about

1:12:09 West Orange? saw slacker and that was when i knew i wanted to make clerks so probably 1990 or 91 pre-August. It's nice to get what I would consider overpaid thinking about my performance i'm thinking about making sure that i'm in the zone with these bits It's a form of hypnosis. There's a thing that's happening that's undefined because the only people that really understand it are the people who are real comics who have been doing it a long time, who know how to kill.

1:15:29 You got to go, go, go, go, go. That's what I'm saying. make it work all right so i concentrate on the thing but like then i fucking celebrate that like box in the chicago theater i'm like oh my god it was religious of all the screenings i've ever had You know, you're just being yourself. oh yeah there's bits but they don't i was always blown away by carlin like one day we were rehearsing

1:18:10 it. And I was like, you memorize your bits? And he goes, yeah, I write everything. I was like, as he was, but he fancied himself a writer first and foremost. i mean he was probably the most prolific big name guy of all time and he he actually inspired louis He did. And he would sit on the runway in Long Island at fucking LaGuardia. Anytime I jump on stage, because every night after a reboot, we get up on stage and work the crowd and stuff.

1:20:22 Said hi to the door guys. I said hey man he Jen and Chris that gig at that bit and be like uh so the night we're at the show he's up there doing a bit and That's very nice. So he made a little window of time for us. and he goes that's what I thought I was that's exactly what I fucking thought he was so like Like my cheeks were hurting. Really? That's why I got the long coat for Silent Bob.

1:24:05 My dad gave me Bill Cosby albums. Did you really? She always had her fucking thumb to the pulse. Kandi Alexander. I don't need to do this. i can't well i don't even know if they asked i don't remember um the other thing i wanted to ask No. seconds you see me lighting up like a child because this is the shit remember in search of of propulsion that made any sense drone technology they don't know what the fuck it was but they had

1:27:31 He observed it with the tracking equipment in the plane, and he looked at it with his own eyes. you about a real experience he had that is impossible to describe and the fact that this On purpose. didn't want to be found exactly it was like fuck off what do you think off with your nonsense i This is why I make the trip out here. according to Bob Lazar, whether you believe him or not,

1:30:16 So he's talking about something that the Air Force or the Navy or whoever the fuck was amounts of space and time with incredible speed that didn't even make any sense and they didn't Yeah, he saw it in action. whether we like it or not they're observing and i think if you were an intelligent being from And we're charging them with fucking nuclear power.

1:33:15 wait wait wait wait come on too much information one of the things they were saying who's they whether or not this is true or not but that they had accelerated the evolution of primitive primates We have no idea what happened. Terence McKenna had a theory called the stoned ape theory. like we might be in a simulation we're not but at the same time we might be in a simulation. We're not. But at the same time, we could be somebody's simulation.

1:36:01 Nick Bostrom. in the simulation we were allowed to climb That's a crazy, great thing. It's all speculation. simulated like and if it is simulated wouldn't sleep be simulated as well wouldn't all of it wasn't just simulated. And if it is simulated, wouldn't sleep be simulated as well? Maybe you're all in this eternal neurological concoction, Yeah, something.

1:39:51 impossible to even it's like isolate it could probably just take off and be gone like you I think it's a famous quote. But if you hit a certain level of technology that's beyond your comprehension right i mean look man if you could Does it just end? No one knows. because i'm good at my job and that's when he disappeared into my crotch punched a hole made

1:43:06 She's like, me, two other heart surgeons, have one in the hospital surrounded by doctors, man. And all of us were trained. chance the weed ladies and gentlemen. It's called Snoogins. Awesome. I'm going to use this opportunity while he's taking a piss, because I just get lost. Rebootroadshow.com, that's the address for tickets and stuff. Houston at the AMC Willowbrook and the AMC Golf Point 30,

1:46:12 RebootRoadshow.com, you can go to the movie domestically and they've got an output deal with somebody i think amazon and then uh 10 million but get money back so it's like eight million we needed eight million bucks so we got get your money back um because i knew i could take the movie out on tour and as long as i was And they're beautiful. Because we don't have marketing money

1:49:22 opening or something like that and you know it know, it, and every headline was like, just read the headline. And it's really been working out, and it's nice that some business people are being like, hey, good job. as an indie filmmaker so that's in my blood and there's something insanely gratifying about figured it out but instead we'd spend every fucking waking moment of opening weekend going

1:51:41 marketing and stuff but what i'm losing in a mass release of the movie i make up for it by being able to accompany the movie myself and that makes it a premium event If I bring Jay, they're like, oh, shit, Jay and Silent Bob are there as well. like can you put up like a thing where i could do Q and a all the time with the video? Is that possible? He goes, no. Cause

1:53:25 if I'm on the web, I don't do it in a vacuum going like, we were going to fly from place we're all living on borrowed time act accordingly i'm just acutely aware of it because i was so you always are man i am i am always um how was the piss it was great i needed it i know you always get there as long as i could I turned 50 in August. Well, some people have a different approach. They were, I could have used that kind of like, you can do that, Kev. Instead, everyone's like, fucking fatty, get off the bar and shit. Well, some people have a different approach.

1:56:15 You got, you know what you're going to do? the new stuff you always try to open with something that's proven that works but sometimes not gonna do our own thing and it's fucking weird and it doesn't work like your thing at all but we're about it instead of jumping on some tonight show or something like that and giving them ratings Like I'm in Houston and then – no, Dallas on November 15th and Houston on the 16th.

1:58:54 And I like that you switch it up too. It's creative is what it is.