Joe Rogan Experience #139 — Duncan Trussell Transcript

Transcript

0:00 What an interesting guy. I've been reading his book, The 4-Hour Body, is the one I've been reading. by his cell phone, and it was killing his sperm count. My loads are going to be awesome. Apparently, there's studies online that show a significant correlation between having your It's not the loads. That's terrifying. One of those things could easily

2:40 that is a cell phone. Every time they say, oh, no, cell phones give you brain cancer. But they say it's true one day and then it's true the brain cancer. It switches left and right every time. Every time they say, oh, no, cell phones give you brain cancer. So either it turns your fucking head into a grapefruit, you know, and pineapples start growing off the side of your brain, or it does nothing.

3:56 and they want to have the purest signal and they don't want any disruption. Well, that's a good guess because a lot of everybody, whenever outrageous claims come up, you've got to think a certain percentage of them are kooks but i don't think we've completely assessed the effects of all these our i mean we never think about that because it really hasn't wireless like real full wireless

5:50 Much more recently. this is the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. it's like the old dial tone sound that used to dial in using a 56k modem but quiet i believe that wireless internet was best examples of believe to be super super brilliant at something like tesla was like at that level so far beyond they recognize that they're sort of trapped

8:28 These idiots are playing the game of like presidents and country and army everyone does you start doing weird shit and people would be like why isn't he's kind of off That's right. That's why they drive on that side of the street. And Nikola Tesla is really one of the reasons But, I mean, obviously I didn't take any science. That's right. And New York was lit up with his technology. And he was wandering around New York. And New York was lit up with his technology.

11:17 How did he die broke? And so he was... house that could channel the the energy you know like so channel but what what are they calling The last thing we need is more people telling people what they have to spend their fucking money on. I would think about doing it just to get off the grid. That's cool. He was making up his own energy. know what you're talking about but there was a time when if you were just talking about electricity you would have seen like an absolute lunatic

14:55 What are you talking about? really did that? can do and you'll never be able to do it but it would be so amazing to look at from the beginning whatever from the carbons being released in the fire, right? form of like open source software and stuff like that. government should work it's YouTube comments do that too yeah yeah most favorited yeah goes up to the top so like that's a form of like tuning into this energy this like evolutionary force

18:22 What if you could fucking harness that shit? New Star Trek or old? I was like, how the fuck are you going to have the dude from Fantasy Island be the bad guy in a fucking Star Trek movie? And they're like, no, Ricardo Montalban is a very respected actor. I think he just... was almost like he was satan or something like he was like And sometimes they'd have a little imp or creature with them.

20:43 Didn't they? make your dreams come true and teach you a little lesson bitch they always taught you a nice little And, you know, Aruba's like where they turn up missing. I don't know. Probably. It seems like they did. I'm pretty sure he became a I'm pretty sure he became like a senator or something. I wonder what kind of crazy shit they did back in those days

23:06 And The gray patched Jay Leno sideways. That's the movie. Dude, look at Nick Swartz's new movie. Didn't take care of his career, didn't take care of his family, So that they could see him. You could just go off. what's her name i don't know who that is man i have no idea no she's like super famous yeah I think I won. I'd have to go read it. I would have to go read it i'm invested in that storyline right but there's like there was

26:57 If there's some fucking crazy story about someone who you know their storyline, like Tiger Woods. Well, if you had the photograph, you'd be a millionaire. ridiculously rich the greatest golfer perhaps ever. And just fucks everyone. I don't know any of these people. It's gravity, man. And once it gets sucked in deep enough, you're not thinking about anything else.

29:30 by this new creation? You know how we can't differentiate What was my point? Is that hijacking the reward system that nature... this but when we recreate that in some sort of a crazy imaginary flat one-dimensional or two-dimensional image with sound that comes It's in nature again, and it's stalking its prey, Well, we're assuming that life is It doesn't mean all life has to do that.

32:51 what creativity might be is when you just relax the fuck enough to listen to this intelligent Imagine when those miners got stuck in the mine. So in the same way, maybe this whole dimension is some kind of cave-in. give it to someone to add their own stuff to. It's kind of like Carlos Mencia. About Stitcher I'm not going to say the numbers, It could be based on how many hits you get on iTunes.

36:33 Let's say I get X amount per thousand downloads on iTunes of the app. Because the podcast is, first of all, we started off with, it wasn't supposed to be a job. I think it's in the spirit of things. And they'll support you in other ways. And some fucking dummy on my message board wrote some whole thing about how he's upset at you because you charge for a podcast and he'll never fucking pay.

38:53 I know it's... That's what I convenience fee i don't even know what that fucking means but i'll pay it but the moment Well, that's why we added an extra episode. Most people send us emails saying they like supporting the show. pennies so i'd have something to eat for dinner i understand poverty i've been there for a long But it's really a dude. You challenged the hackers of the world right there.

41:25 You saying you respond to emails is like opening up the gates to hell. And you do, on occasion, get some emails from people that it really seems like these are cops. yeah it's very spooky. And I'm assessing the dude. It was ridiculous. You know, they run a pretty fucking tight You're not looking for DMT, you fucking weirdo. way this guy was looking at trip he wasn't looking at trip he was looking to fucking arrest me you

44:11 Tell him about Google. Yeah, me too. I never get mail. Paper money, but only quarters. Yeah, I mean, how many times It always raises high and all that goes to the government. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what it is. they're like, let him die. they feel that way about people grown-ups only but once you're a grown-up you're on your own grown-ups are just mutated babies well they're babies that grew up

46:45 but if you lived in a village of 50 people everyone would have to care about everyone and You're all cool. I don't think people are supposed to live in any particular way. And that's the problem. a community of 300 million people. and a number that's so large you can't wrap your head around. which is something the biological body of today thing itself well that's because the people who are in control

50:38 always an explanation for tyranny there's always an explanation like that you can almost always earned their money and they deserve somalia and we can't get the resources there because some fundamentalist fucking islamic And only the super smart are the ones who start giving our children the basic information. When you have competition, you're always going to have people that take it to the next level.

53:35 into kiddie porn, you fuckhead. And this keeps America. This is one of the big points of their point. It keeps America it pushes innovation and it pushes people to very likely that it is i leave open the possibility that it's not and people say that's crazy and i 99% means I really believe it. across the board, completely full of which is a big fat

56:33 We're not going to up. I'm not pulling anybody's names out today. Well, it turns out she was not in a gunfight at all. But when they put that story out, they did not say that. etched in stone. Etched in stone, This bullet didn't look like it got shot through anything. even close to that bullet, things they fuck up they bend up that kennedy bullet didn't go through shit they shot that

59:04 The positioning, look, you know, Anthony Bourdain had a really good point when he talked about Shot through the fucking head. Every time. When that guy, when it hit the curb, the ricochet of the granite came up, hit this guy, fucked him up. a guy is that possible and no no no. Impossible. Is it possible? No, nothing possible. Let's talk to this guy and find out.

1:01:03 Well, let's go back to work in Vietnam, and Lynd lyndon johnson's gonna take care of everybody he loves you hey he's a he's It's nonsense, but I think that idea is a prevalent idea, and it's a hilarious idea. Most recently, segregation. ah, I don't know if I should do this or not. To them, that was a normal state of existence. If you go back a little bit before that, there was slavery. You would go over to your

1:03:30 People are leaders, and there are people who understand that in primate neurology, don't talk about our president that way now this is a uh clearly a form of conditioning and a form you go on television and say the president should be respected no more than any other man. this dude said that that was not legal so he goes there with a fucking knife opens up this giant knife and saws the rope on this guy's

1:05:33 you know, never be humble. I'm talking about this game of make-believe that we're being forced to play. And as we get smarter, I think, as a species, This is weird, but you want me to put my hand on my chest? I'm a patriot. Yeah. And this president was elected. Slavery, segregation. government of an educated population a truly educated not just educated with books and number

1:09:02 There's a million good things. It's like when people say, like, I'm a Christian. It's fun to imagine Jesus flying the Enola Gay. looks at the good shit you know no one's ever looking at all the good shit they do. I hate to fucking bust your bubble. really important it's really important for two reasons one because i honestly like this song Let's hear it.

1:11:26 It's about being a country boy. Man, I don't like sounding like a homo, but that motherfucker's got a badass voice. That's what happens at the concert. Let's try another word for cum. Did you ever see Spinal Tap? And so he just swapped demographics. I am not bullshitting. So it's like all these pictures of him. Did you know there's a Miss Hands? Toby Keith songs I don't have anything wrong

1:14:49 Back it up. And anybody that tries to change it That's how cancer cells talk I love my country. I love my family. Desperately fight. Did you hear Galileo? I love burning witches. That's complicated. I love being a carbon molecule. I grew up on an old dirt road in a town you wouldn't know. No bullshit. MrHands.mpag. And the video is mrhens.mpeg. Why are you going to do that to yourself?

1:18:44 And then they were saying that there's a Mrs. Hands. And the girl at one point is going, We were in the basement. but there was some issue it was almost like I got molested that day She shoots a load all over her, and she makes these moans like, oh, yeah. And it's so disturbing. All of a sudden, girl got fucked by a horse in Billy Connolly's basement.

1:20:33 Wasn't there a queen? I can tell you what happened to Ida today. Her real name is Sandra Dee? her real name. And she has a British accent, this movie, First of all, Living in northern Michigan Hi, Sandy. Please. Please be nice. her, folks. Please. It's somebody just walking through a park. nowhere? Like, what? Huh? If someone's mean to you, DM me and I'll correct everything.

1:23:01 S-O-P-H-I-E-D-E-E. Bam, son. Jesus fucking Christ. Those tits look real. I think she's one of those oh I see what you did I hope the hackers fucking go after you right now. There's tons of photos on there. You fucked up the story, dude! How big is he? It's like a tiny little doll. They're just so blue. A black what? where she had a relationship with a porn star,

1:25:49 If that was like a total loophole in marriages, every man would be a porn star. fucking checks on film yeah man it's so embarrassing i mean that's one of the other things about being human it's like you know you're just trapped in these fucking awful primate that's what it was man when fucking ancient sumeria or sumeria whatever the fuck he was from that's what it was

1:27:10 Lamentation is screaming because you're fucking getting raped by the Mongols. You can never use that word. You should hear Hmm, the act of lamenting? Lamentations. Hmm. The women are crying. No, no, no, no, no. used to have it memorized but i can't remember it Yeah. Did you ever read any of the old Conans? I really wanted to see it. He was all pumped up and everything.

1:29:23 He's in Game of Thrones, right? There's scenes you nailed it. They were so dumb. There's a bunch of different producers, a bunch of different executives, a bunch of different people. It's like Contagion. He's like, I was watching him, Dave Sheridan. But this guy had a Rolex on and a super expensive suit in a way that I'd really never seen He did his own little interpretation of what he thought would be awesome in the scene.

1:32:42 recreate robert e howard's version version of Conan and we could have you know The executives say, these guys don't know fucking movies like I know fucking movies. So when people... Or not. please don't sue me. you know, diluted entertainment. They're getting shit that's got, that's that thing that you just described. I love the name of that show. Well, the story was about I played a mountain man.

1:35:20 in this cabin and we're just idiots. basically it was an alien living in the neck of my dead grandfather an alien living in the neck of my dead grandfather. An alien living in the neck of your dead grandfather. she would bring that You can keep them. a terrible thing. about that shit man is that well the thing i'm realizing is there's a fucking shitty network

1:37:52 got fucked. It was a disaster. They want to bring in men ratings, just cancel that piece of shit. But when executives start digging in, very few know what they're doing. like you know this was good but it would Yeah. Well, in the same way, those people insert themselves into power positions, right? to become a network executive. No, hopefully those people learn to read.

1:41:02 and they never learn how to wrestle or do jiu-jitsu. and it's her resume Yeah, it's like, you know, when you. Right. I put me in a situation where there's some fights going on Right. to do something fucked up I wish I could too It's terrible. This is way crazier than that, dude. I gag. I'm immune to vomit. own hair that's one reason they eat their own hair and they have to throw up those those hair

1:44:33 You've got to talk in your microphone, homeboy. No, I don't think I have it, but I think we definitely need to take a test. You won't get mad. I fucking changed so many bags of cat litter when I was a kid. Feral kittens. But they will bond to one person some people some people raise other people to think that cats are one step above a steak. Not all dogs.

1:46:52 Of course they do. I have a yard for my dogs only that's a full acre wooded saw pine It's a full acre. but people are dumb, and they don't get that. They want to be outside. I was on 148 acres in the mountains. And I just did it totally natural style. Cheers. Like fucking Terminator type shit. that Earth is in the center of the fucking universe? That's what the article says.

1:49:59 That's an interesting point. whoa that's cool could you imagine if we fucking showed up on some planet I mean, maybe the sun's alive. I mean, that is what happens. Yeah, yeah. No, it sounds like the fucking Highwaymen. When Johnny Cash comes on, I ride a starship Look it up. We open ourselves up We're stoned. You're so clever It's hard to do. Did I miss anybody?

1:54:30 Steve-O I would love to have him on. my personal favorite boxing analyst, He's a fucking huge, huge, huge boxing fan. And he used to be a rapper. what i want to do is uh we going to have to talk after the show. No, it's like equipment. But the bottom line is that we're going to go to Irvine, Because if you don't know who Graham Hancock is, I want you to go and research Fingerprints of the Gods if you're so inclined, if you're interested in this.

1:57:54 question the current ideas of the timelines of human history and this guy graham hancock is it was covered in jungle. And it's undoctored, unedited, and it's amazing. Well, dig a little. discovered which is so mind-boggling until you look at the geography of south america if you in the jungles of civilization motherfucker is going to be covered with trees yeah man there's a documentary on reclaim it

2:00:36 Yeah, it's an explorer who was searching for this But he went down into the amazon and just basically vanished this is uh save the secrets of the dead It's really fucking cool, man. Where they found this army of terracotta soldiers buried for thousands of years, or however fucking long it was. Can't be too good. Who knows? that's been buried without human beings ever finding it for fucking thousands of years.

2:03:51 What? Yeah. No, it's not on the IMDb. We're way more intelligent than 1993 or whenever that movie came out. his wife is walking and found a baby Yeah, this Lesbian Rafe movie gets terrible reviews. Because it's like reenactments of... Really? Yeah, he's dead on. drivers? Oh, you know who wants to come on the podcast? Duncan and I are only in town for a couple days, son.

2:06:58 But we're also going to be at the UFC. Jake Shields' dad died. Jake Shields was particularly close to his dad. He just believes that factory farming is fucked up. It's so difficult to master. joe rogan he's a dick i guarantee you're addicted me first for sure you know and you might have been whether it's gambling or anything like that. It makes you get together closer.

2:10:16 Where did she work? I don't know. Yeah, he should have. It's with someone that he just fucked one night. Yeah. fan of anthony bourdain is because he calls himself an enthusiast, but he is I like smoking weed. I like going to, how they have the existentialists basically have this idea where it's like yeah you can fucking No meaning to this. No meaning.

2:13:47 I got a question for you, Brian. Like it's almost exactly the same No I think The way I fuck them That's 185 pounds of alpha she just starts fucking hitting you. Charity boxing match. It's like, yeah, you're always going to. was a girl that uh used to work for a buddy of mine she was a my friend's assistant and she could There was this fucking chick, and she was a regular girl. She was like 23 years old.

2:16:57 Fuck. ready for it, it only takes a If you don't expect it. Complete design flaw. have to chew food to supply the body so well how do we have this thing where you have you have to chew of the jaw i got the apple jaw presses into the cord well i don't listen when i say presses into that their jawbone slams into the cluster of nerves behind them, jaws and big david tua like looking faces there was a guy named david tua stills a very dangerous

2:20:02 And just boom, hits him, and he can take it he just doesn't And there's nothing a guy can do to strengthen it. There's things that I've seen guys do. So embarrassing. No, I don't mean that. and I fucking love it. It's like that moment in time, You're right and you're not at the same time. There's nothing wrong with going to fights. Nothing wrong with that.

2:22:51 do it well you know and i've tried and if you can jerk off to that you will feel better no enjoy it and their attention is focused onto whatever the fucking thing is whether it's leonard skinner's it still is distracting you from the void, that's where shit gets weird. You ever see those videos? you know what I think? I think I have a rare opportunity to spread as much positive energy

2:25:16 Because this shit is going to spread and spread and spread. and legitimate yeah that's very important and that impacts you love it well of course and also What? He does. call me. You have a collector's edition Twitter that you can sell clearly aware that it's not satiating i don't want to do this anymore this is a direct this this this conversation this idea is directly

2:28:12 If you were a caveman, Yeah, well, it's all a magnification of the four basic drives. We're playing footsie. you know I know your weirdest we've known each other what we're doing is we're saying anything and somehow or another way more people than we're Where does it go? that'll ask for tickets. I'll hook them up The one we cried together. Have we talked about it?

2:31:23 It's something I did with Tim and Eric for we play these idiots That's why I thought of it. Was it? This weekend is totally sold out. Last weekend, we did the comedy. And it's got all this really amazing history on the walls. at AllCom, you've talked about it. We're going to do the Horizon Wireless Theater, which is like thousands of fucking people.

2:33:50 And then someone came up with the idea. also Brendan said, Well, this is what I was thinking. I did a live podcast. together and the best idea seems to be wherever we put it it's the comics that are right about to And we have this wild ass show with 85 people in that little room. fucking show is over. Hey, wait. Can I tell Joe Diaz, Brendan, go to onnit.com,

2:36:20 go see Duncan Trussell It'll be on my website. It's got to be the 20th. Friday the 30th? That's it? Click on the link for the Fleshlight and enter in the code name Rogan, He's selling them on YouTube. Who loves you? We're going to get Liza in here, too, man. can upload the video on vimeo we can't do it what're good. We just can't do it live, maybe, so we can upload the video on Vimeo.

2:38:17 Yeah, for real. good guy this is the podcast yeah good. Yeah, good people use streaming. It wasn't really an argument, you know. I'm sorry. Yeah, and her show Free Agents is on right now. Probably it's on tonight also a fabulous stand up comedian as well if anyone's out there two L's Stop with your negative bullshit.