Joe Rogan Experience #14 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Starting to broadcast. this has got to be like our 12th people that I run into is that what it is? but this is the real one get on well you know my attitude about the internet is always that the internet you know you can't um the things even on television i have like a new better way to do it you know but somebody once When I was doing that, I was doing The Man Show, UFC, comedy, and Fear Factor at the same time.

3:02 was kind of fucked up back then but now i looked at you know, I look at the stuff that's out now. though they're like hulu and stuff like that but They have to find out how to – they want to share it. are just like you. Be fucking honest, man. If you were 18 years old if people enjoy your work they're going to support you people are going to come to see your shows

5:09 to support them, because I want to support them. in the movie theater, Eventually, it's going to be more than information. And he came to my comedy show. That's already kind of real. you're going to be able to go to this computer printer thing, and slow, you know, and the ink Oh, yeah. the biggest goat-see photo or dick and get on somebody's printer and do that.

7:57 blowing dudes. Someone There's a dick in your mouth You're fucking something that's supposed to be a girl's butt. Oh, my God. But it's just people making dildos. They have to like jack it off into this tube. Oh, your balls. I don't care if I was in jail for a year, I wouldn't fuck you, dude. for five minutes That's ridiculous. Yeah, but it's HBO. Would you let them do your cast?

11:19 That would be weird though because that's what was after in this video I saw. Equating they're then being persecuted for kid fucking. Yeah to the the Holocaust and the Pope's safe gonna save them all before someone steps in and goes about it because it's been around forever. the fucking religion right that's just people doing charitable things that does not make up

13:32 terrified about I did a year my parents had just broken up and the impact of it hadn't hit me yet, you know, but I was, Nobody had fun with her. mean fucking cunt she used to hit us she really used to hit us like people think like catholic I was in gifted classes and everything the next year after Catholic school, Really. I mean, look at that. they just get regular heaven

16:20 that this is like a real issue of debate They do some good things too. controlling the world, we'd be fucked. I guess Muslims, if you believe in the hardcore jihadists, I guess they do too. There's been Catholic suicide bombers, right? fucking rape you. You're going to think, oh, this guy's going to protect you guys talk about the subject of religion a lot. Like, up a lot shouldn't it yeah what's all wars about what the

19:10 too fat. of two fucking wars. into town and somebody told us. out nuclear weapons that fucked up and they can fly through the air to all parts of the planet. They're that fucked up? God damn. that what they're saying is legitimate. You know, I'm a Catholic. I'm not saying I'm right and you're wrong or I have some information you don't have. everybody up is someone that pretends they do know because then we with our fucking monkey

21:54 You know, I mean, that's what it is. There's no pornography available on your fucking iPhone anywhere you look. You really got Stop Watching Lost at the wrong time. I'm confused now I know enough so I only know At best, we exist really well in small tribes. when they were looking out for each other all the time, It's all about love. It's all about you need to just feel love. You don't need negative things.

25:10 I like kids. it's funny I do I don't want to see a I don't want to tell you anymore Yeah, YouTube backslash Let's Find Jesus. Like you're always on the ball. hating that you're excited. fanboy. I have so many cameras. Like, yeah, I just want to get a netbook. throughout the United States. and then someone allowed you to go outside, you'd be so happy to go outside.

28:04 All I'm doing, that's the best thing about my message board. You ever do that? and I'm like let me go online real quick it's pretty badass you it's not like in the old days you would do like an interview you know like he doesn't even do anymore because he's got new bits and i'm like but you don't have those old or, you know, half an hour? People don't really,

30:25 this was funny it just gets going hear this song and was bluetoothing it to my stereo in my car it's fucking I was like this is Look under, like, new Photoshop on the main form. like you can zoom in It's sweet. It really is getting The first cavemen invented putting a sharp stick, to make your life easier? Just think of the idea behind it. And I'm not criticizing it.

33:47 I am so fascinated by the idea that they're trying to recreate the conditions right after the Big Bang. I mean, maybe because they are making how to crack time. When they figure out how to crack time. Anyway, he was this guy who figured out that if you could, you have to take a cylinder Because the thing about people is we're not going to be satisfied with just a large hadron

35:39 it'll go away really quickly. Like, what? That's next. They're fucking with everything. because lately I have had You know, like, it's so insane that. your attitude in life and how you how you view things and how how you how you feel about yourself And that's there for a reason. And I think it might be very possible. Here's the you know a boat on the water. We think about it like that, but really

38:57 This is how the system works. It's almost impossible for us to really see the big picture. increasing at a much faster rate of evolution than human beings. artificial body that you've created with your fucking computer and the next thing you know They have this one city. It's not bad where you live, but it's like pretty fucked up. I certainly think

41:53 for the UFC or North Carolina Everybody in restaurants and bars. more restaurants. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's more stuff to do, definitely. But there's Isn't it weird that the left side of the United States is more dangerous than the right side, Yeah, aggressive, but yet that's the safer place to live. Okay? But I think there's more to it than that.

44:13 Maybe it's too much hydration. trying to take over the world. back then, too. Daniel Day-Lewis is one of those dudes that a different dude when he's in those movies. It was really good for the first hour or so. He's a good fucking actor, though. There's some cheeseheads out there they're not doing anything special Jeff Bridges who just the movie dream with the fishes dream with the fishes no has david arquette in it really small

46:46 Yeah, I would like to see the pyramids. it would be really nice No, I know what you mean. What, are you fucking crazy? What? Jesus Christ. Ellen as Dr. Manhattan? found all these blue things and i dressed up all in blue, and I put this neck pillow on my head, how do you not have that online uh i think i do, but it's on my Facebook. Oh, my God. How dare you?

49:16 I don't get Joe's philosophy of thinking that scene, the pyramids on TV is the same as real life. it is that it's not that safe over there you know you got to be it's tricky i don't want to have to But I don't need to. just from DVDs. Ants kill everything man. Deers get trapped. They get birds. have photographs of these things. They got pictures of a dead one.

52:42 And they have fucking observed. But I would love to see all that, you know, and shit gets in their ear and starts rotting away their brain. That's scary, man. They're really good at coming up with good names. Bondo Apes right now do do do do so I want to see that with it class the Titans yeah I want to see that too that looks like a fun for almost a week

54:41 the Large Hadron Collider What? It's not like he invented the fucking internet. You know what? And we may very well be. remember the dude's name, I'm going to find out though, but he did a video where he went They just have to have a bunch of people thinking they make sense. And when it comes to global warming, when it comes to health care, it's like, you know, everyone has a very typical and predictable.

57:45 The idea that Do they really know more than everybody else It's all stupid. instead of worrying and spending my stress on it i I didn't even care. That's a comic though, man. It's dumb. that Fox News is real? a movie from the 80s That would be who was mean as fuck. interrogate dudes on the show when they you know like give people a hard time on the show when they cut people off like they're like these stern right wing like aryan blue-eyed hot bitches you know

1:00:35 And all this craziness that goes on with people. We're all just living until our bodies shut off, and we don't even address it. that at any time Like making a campfire? the best person to be at a campfire? You want a beer? You all bring your tents, and you all hang out and smoke weed and do mushrooms, No harmonicas! thinking they're all fucked up you know and they're lazy too that's another

1:04:01 you know it's a lot better out here though. Back in Ohio it's completely different. you know, nine to five. you know what man, you still have your free time you know you you go through it and you you know you move up the This is what you have to enjoy right now. Did you ever do anything famous or anyone famous or anyone that was like, wow, Frank Sinatra is in the back of my limo?

1:05:37 I was like, God, I probably would have panicked. Wow. I was watching a driver when we were out of town in New York. And the way they would put it to me though when I when I first got the job life for sixty thousand dollars a year right like this fucking guy was literally no bullshit working hours. I would work 8 hours and I would want to go home. And they would go, 8 hours is

1:08:02 I can weird little places you drive like an hour and a half and it was like a little sports bar and then have a little stage and you hold uh the ladder and i would have to climb four stories up Huh? Yeah, but sometimes you just go to a house and you go, Then a week later, he called us back and goes, oh, by the way, she found what she was looking for and she apologizes.

1:10:03 nice guys like i never had any real bad bosses. Would give you money at the end of the week. Like, you know, to start thinking of work like that. And I was a lazy fucking kid. Did a little Papagino's for a while. Especially when it was a projectionist. Witch Project came out and these kids came to the show and then after they in the morning and them

1:12:42 It was awesome. They just fucking sit there and play like Xbox on IMAX. I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot. And that kind of sucks because if you see it twice and you're getting the same questions, then it's like, what? And that's that. So, that way, nobody ever asks me again. who like people don't get that you said that a million The only time I would ever give a prediction is if something's ridiculous.

1:15:34 taking place and there's neither one of them is is definite and for sure so i would never say You're just making some crazy prediction about what the fuck is going to happen That happens all the time. Badass fucking grappler. Or was it on? That's never happened before it was totally you should you're talking about you They're the meanest Jesus Christ, that was good.

1:18:47 no one has ever put out as much funny stuff as that guy. What does Matt do? that Trey just locks himself in his office crude. And it's real easy they have a team of writers. But he knows groovy, girly. It's humbling how much that guy's put out. I know, There was no movie ever like, it's not, the third time was just as good as the second time. Yeah, it's like seeing Borat twice, you know?

1:21:06 you can see it that it's just Adventures in Babysitting Yeah, yeah, yeah. that are funny, quote the words yeah that's illegal I don't even want people to get the wrong impression here. Fuck you. But everything else along the way was so amazing that you can't just neglect it. Now I'm watching nonsense. This guy's just been sitting around hitting himself?

1:23:35 Yeah, that's another funny part about that movie. Like those old videos we used to see about the fights in the yards. Well, that's like a gang war. We've talked about I'm addicted Norm MacDonald's one of my favorite Blinking Third Eye. it was pretty interesting man I would watch it I just you know don't give me that I don't want to that's what I didn't like about Shutter Island. I don't like when you say, oh, it was all a trick. You know, don't give me that.

1:25:35 I'm just, the last recent episodes, it's interesting, but it's also like, uh-oh, this could get really bad. Just stop it. We're in 1977. Cars were all shitty. if you had to live Yeah. Sure it is. Find out. out about peak oil Like I said, we had to stop last week because I had a bunch of them up here um like I said we we had a stop I mean, I don't remember a time.

1:28:30 And, you know, I talked to him and, you know, Like, there are dudes, and message boards are like their comedy stage. the same amount of time and get 50 million times on the internet Because Ari has a name. So he's got enough best parts about my message board. He was a great parts about it. And this dude, Outlaw, was one of the best parts about my message board.

1:30:39 And then again recently, last year, he came to Dallas. What is on your personality's cool encouraged funniness you talk to online met online and it's a nice thing artists I know But he was a great guy man sucks really does suck. Yeah, and he was fairly young right? I've been eating a lot more vegetables. Dude, did you see the photo he tweeted when you guys were in North Carolina?

1:33:47 It's on his Twitter, is like He was really good. but never could live there. Mix it up. I used to like it I love going on Opie and Anthony. I don't care if it sounds gay, population density studies with rats and they found that if they have a certain that start attacking each other I love North Carolina. Can we help you out? Would you like something restaurants how you doing how you doing can we help y'all

1:35:52 I would just need a place easily and that sucks hard dude that a hurricane fucking house it picked not were in their fucking house. You know, Like, to Mexico. What about Santa Barbara? That fucking place is the bomb. that's a good jail. And then there's, Fucking campfire, Joe. Because new people come in every week. It's like, I should have done it.

1:38:11 I wouldn't be able to do one of those five-night-a-week gigs. new material too you can't create new material if you're always you know doing long headline sets some crappy open mic night or something like that. Not even have an opening act. You can only look online so many times. and once in a while it gets crazy, and you're like, oh, we're going to die. No, and then you're back to peace. It is the best, man. Dude, where's that kind of life? You're just going through nature in this boat, and once in a while it gets crazy, and you're

1:39:55 You're like this. and she should have been okay but she hit her head and her head somehow another got wedged and have beers somewhere. I'm not down with like to put myself in a situation another thing I think his name was and the fucking canoe that killed me they had like ribbons But it still crushed them, thinking about their two-year-old that drowned in their canoe.

1:42:02 natural river ride thrill. So good luck on your boat, faggot. I thought that guy sounds like he's a nut sounds like either he's crazy or that they have given us? Come on, man. He's nuts. He says shit that's believe that this is, you know, causing dissent and some sort of, you know, meme of consciousness Yeah. Flash Player. The other browser? Wow. Fuck Flash.

1:45:28 rest of us. I wonder if he's being serious. There's just too many dummies out there. And I think because it is the case, and why they still... That's amazing. I know, but you can't just say that. We have the longest podcast in the history of the internet. That's ridiculous. His podcast is nine hours long. Somebody said it right I think that's really what it is. At a certain point in time,

1:48:22 and he's been fucking with me the whole time, I enjoy listening to him talk Road to Conspiracy is what it should be called. Well, my concern wasn't even the 9-1-1 stuff. There's there always a violence in these demonstrations, even if the people that are into this idea are completely nonviolent. The government's been doing that forever. When was the last time anybody got thrown in jail

1:50:43 Because of what you did. who should not be allowed to be an American. This fucking low blood sugar faggot. What? Everything. Oh, Yeah, and you don't even know what you're missing, though. Yeah. That's why people get so terrified when people want to break up. dude like what the hell is i want i want to fucking go canoeing and then maybe roller skating

1:53:08 because now most people have nine-to-five jobs. You know, or at least fairly happy. You're kind of beaten down by a boring ass day. figure it out I mean, a society like this. Unless we develop robots. I mean, is that the future where robots do The census? Right. You're a growed ass man. You know, I don't know. Stop embarrassing yourself. on the the questions

1:56:47 We just started talking. Yeah. that's pretty much it we could take this shit one day a week every week as a podcast as well. I get all these emails This is – so don't – I like shows like that. So we're going to do that. I've been writing for a while. over and over and over again. Those guys are great. People get tired. Thank you very much. I loved it, I had a great time there

1:59:54 So thank you, everybody that came out to the a plane and a metal tube all the way across And I love you bitches.