Joe Rogan Experience #1406 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Hello Brian. Hello Joe. Happy New Year. Happy 2020. Happy 2020. That doesn't sound real. I'm older than you, but when that show was on cars and like crazy you know billboards and everything i wonder where technology would be That's the scariest thing about the internet. hollywood and everything in life and you know look at all this stuff that's going on right now with Trump and everything like that.

2:25 Because what it is is everybody gets to have an opinion. climate because apparently meatloaf said something what did meatloaf say something about her I do feel kind of bad for her. and then thrust them into the front of something like global climate change debate it's so hostile Is she like this all day? You know, some people, some people, they don't have any control over their emotions, right?

5:49 like imagine if your emotions become something like that like some people have emotional flare Xanax is anti-anxiety, right? how bad anxiety is fucked up on mushrooms or something. Once I started taking CBD oil, I was like, wow, I feel great. But mostly I like oil. but it is giving you this feeling of lightness. what it is is your back somewhere in your back i'm like an expert on um being able to butcher

8:50 It was a blood-spinning procedure. And it can help you. let's see you at the store you'll be be like 150 pounds. What happened, Red Van? Well, this platelet-rich plasma, again, I'll fuck this up royally if I try to actually explain it. you got a belging like if usually if you have a bulging disc you're kind of fucked you know that takes plasma and makes it like a

11:47 but 60 Minutes was probably going on a different channel at the same time, Of course they are. No. The fact that they thought they can get away with that, Got to hang himself. photos are all fake right no no hold on i mean i don't know why it's they're very realistic we need They said he used a bunch of these orange jumpsuits, There is also some other things I'll get into in just a second

14:32 Oh, Jesus. is that usually he's seen it in maybe one bone break, to get a fracture hang him high. but it said this person left him in a shower locked for an hour. that he could kill himself with. Or the nine jumpsuits. Is that what it looks like? It's not 60 minutes, get their watermark all over it. Kept me in a locked shower stall for one hour. look it's

17:24 we're we're doing a when there's a suicide there you're not supposed to remove the body and also according to the procedure you're not when there's a suicide Let's see if you want to see it, Brian. strangled that looks like a strangled guy yeah that's what i thought or choked for my but the That's impossible. say for sure they killed him and the lawyer she's talking to and the piece is his uh former cell

20:16 That's her postulation right here. Hold on, though. yeah it looks like that's more like blood rising to the skin than than an actual cut yeah that's I don't think it's going to make a thick mark. another piece of shit all right so we'll find out later today i'm sure the whole thing is so just come on here thank you love it he went after apple in front of tim cook how crazy was that shit he went after apple then

23:27 We all love working with you here at the Golden Globes. done that's just how everything was done they that's how they whacked everybody and that was peeing themselves. Oh, yeah. you could have a good workout while you're working um the apple thing that that had to sting I mean, Foxconn works in the United States now, don't they? oh the swear was beeped out by nbc he also was he was also beat for his use of profanity in two other jokes.

26:47 he's a real comic doesn't have the apple quote he's a real comic that's that's a look there ICE! There's a lot of noise. It's all changed now. It's all ending. really yeah but they've been saying that for a long time that death to America chant that's Like that would be the worst way to communicate conflict that you actually have to think about might come and knock it on your door how what

29:45 You're fired. And in Canada, those silly fucks, they edited it out. What are you going to do? will click quickly and fully strike back and perhaps in a disproportionate manner such legal notice is not this is ultimately like one guy they think it's imminent because of this uh war we're in with iran this could be a movie where they're gonna And then if they banned him off Twitter.

32:51 and pointing to the screen with Donald Trump and says, You know how you kill coyotes and then they make more coyotes? Like, they're in a precarious situation now, too. And then if it backfires and Twitter loses all of its power Is it about him being on the most popular, I mean, he's a guy business he's always been a celebrity and a and you know iconic financial character but now his

35:53 trump threatens someone and they retaliate to show they're not scared we nuked them and then oh my That's the thing. Let me see that in big time. So they all want him to like him. They're reaching for him. they're fired. And now all of a sudden Did you hear that new, I think Russia has it, This is why Trump wanted to have a Space Force. But people, we think that way.

39:21 Especially if you're stimulated. That'd be great. But maybe those are all robots, spam robots. The Rock got on board. Oh, yeah. I don't know. What? Yeah, but they all work together. that they're going to bomb that guy in Iran. This is what we know. And we can go, wait, why are they doing it that way? It's all tucked away. Let's do it. was the last slide was like,

43:20 See, that's what's crazy. He won't be able to get anything done. They're going to have to change that right after him, right? Yeah. Yes. But it's so strange that he's doing it like this. you can go on the attack, what is this world? We never showed that he was dead. we do that show seems so like nervous didn't it the first episode it was like they didn't have like a regular house of cards

46:51 That's right. The one guy that died, died though one of the reasons Whoa. one was- Let that one go. Astronauts. Good for her. That's what it is. That's what it's called. Or somebody wanted a woman to be the first person in space. first person from a nation to be launched into the gases above our head and to see the blackness all the way out there it was like

51:10 Yeah. She died. Think, how do you say that? You know what I mean? I remember when they said they were retiring the Challengers and all the shuttles a couple years ago. That's the guy. Yeah. What kind of sex crimes? Oh, no, yeah, he's on trial in New York, and this is a separate thing here in LA. weirder things about people is that you can do that like it's

55:41 Like you're doing, you're looking good so that people give you things. You're looking good I didn't care and it was all free on the internet like that. Everybody would give out information Nothing wrong with that though Of course, it should be legal. They're going to be the ones that also dictate how much money the girls make and how much money they take.

57:52 they'd probably have the exact same amount of people probably. It was a while ago. That's why it's so beautiful. Shut the fuck up. Fucking mob, man. Why are you doing that to him? or what I read was that Oh, shit, it's going down. do you ever travel to mexico i love mexico what's your favorite part? Puerto Vallarta. Yeah. Yeah. How? Like, what do they get them from?

1:01:03 where they had this game. Imagine they're pulling you over there and laying you down do you know about see if we can get an audio Give me it. t-o-t-y-k-a-n You know, what's your name? T-O-T-W-A-Con. But I need a space. Somebody put it together. there's a bunch of them words. And it starts, when you say it, it starts with a Y. What is that? It's a change-in.

1:04:30 what do you think that trans e means i'll google it is it a j it's it doesn't seem anything like An E with a little tail. E. E. E. E. E. E. E. And then there's a bounty on Trump's head? Where does the world stand if they only drop one nuke and it's on the White House? This is so crazy. I don't know. some stuff saying like he is a bad guy it's just how trump did it is how the problem uh he did help

1:07:45 and Trump killed him? about his orange skin, with Trump. I don't know. I don't want to comment just yet because I have a feeling I have a lot to say about this. And then our leaders. represent us in the most Qasim Soleimani? And it says, I will stand against you. of sanctions are coming with a Game of Thrones inspired meme of his own. Oh, my gosh. This motherfucker owes me since the 70s.

1:10:19 It's so crazy. Anything to destabilize is his number one competitor. That's what China's going to help Iran. For sure! Anything to destabilize is his number one the thing you have to do to avoid That is like when Italy was joined in Germany. See, the rest of the world does not it and if you you you start saying that you're going to be able to do whatever you want and

1:12:32 Congratulations. to talk they'll be able to have dialogue you see this tweet that he said yes targeted 52 iranian Because then none of us can go anywhere. Well, now I'm getting there. there and what about the cartels and they're getting up this month if you will be paralyzed And I keep refreshing CNN every five minutes. Because if he says he's going to do something in a

1:15:56 like mutually assured destruction was always supposed to be the the big impediment that if we just sneak a bomb in by the time it's detonated, They were the number one superpower in the world. I don't know. Jocko's probably one of the most Never. Impossible. No artificial colors, sweeteners, or flavors. Or a better way to do it. i'll deviate i'm allowing myself two glasses of wine and most of the rest of the shit i'm just

1:18:36 When I read about the people that did this, there was a guy that was with the Inuit. to sort of supplement their eat any vegetables man i thought this was all black and white it's not all right never mind Is this the gentleman? Anyway, I'll just encapsulate what he said. When I feel a fart coming on, I'm like, oh, this could be a disaster. had some pretty radical health benefits. And I'm so curious about that. Because I know that sometimes

1:21:38 or this is a nonsense way to eat. unquestionable difference of this diet unquestionable difference is that my energy level basically has a flat line. It must. I'm using butter. But it's curious because if I think, and I don't necessarily think this, I'm just saying, if I think this is the best way for me to eat, I'm not saying that. It's sort of a taboo.

1:24:40 I don't know if that's true. public. That's cool. Bro, my kids are bored. Like 24? You know, that's one of the things that James Wilkes from the Game Changers told me, They're so easy. Thank you. Like the wolf with the dogs. Apparently, when eagles find out where your chickens are, you're fucked, man. That's 160,000 chickens. They'll go after your kids.

1:27:50 But maybe it's because he couldn't protect them. Now, are bald eagles protected because they're very rare? It was in the early days a pit bull. Yeah. Uh-huh. He even got fucked up a little bit, it looked like. Really? real sorry why can't that be real come on if If there was a GoPro that was that close to that, that'd be Golden eagle. Yeah. Wolves are cool, right?

1:30:51 They're like, come here, man. Don't eat me. bigger than her it was oh yeah it was i looked like a monster and it wasn't even a real wolf That's a real wolf, dude. Look at the size of that thing, man. Maybe not. What would you do if she just reached down and started jerking it off? How does he not know about Siegfried and Roy? How does he not know about Siegfried and Roy?

1:32:46 Is that what it was? Well, it's about killing the president. Someone stole that. Is it the same thing to threaten Trump in a joke? You can't make that joke? everybody definitely better than everybody i can't pretend we're gonna kill you I'm sure. I don't do movies anymore. Oh, what is that? I mean, if you don't understand gambling and stuff like that,

1:36:31 That was a pretty cool movie. like it's like frantic editing or something i wouldn't it wasn't that weird no compared to like and the way time works but it's coming out soon. about these military people we're watching LA Okay. I think, if anything, the worst part has already happened. being impulsive someone making this kind of a decision that may be uh strategy experts and

1:39:13 If something happens, especially something horrible happens. We are like, we have the genes of this wild conqueror, just lust for travel human that was willing to get on a fucking boat and make it over here from Europe and from every other place. that whole break glass in case of war, a lot of people are going to love it. so who knows you know way more than anybody so no four weeks after an arson attack was performed

1:41:31 the soldiers and the settlers and fuck that is in our genes man it just happened people were That's why I'm scared. I'm scared because I feel like we have come so far. It's so safe. It's so And this is that cycle that everybody says, right? Hard times make strong men. Strong men And because it doesn't happen over here, the only ones that can tell us are the ones that went over there.

1:44:10 world they're probably planning on throwing a gay guy off a roof whoo because some some person don't like shit when you stand still like my least favorite way of hunting is uh in a tree stand just sitting around but it's also it's kind of crazy when it and while they're while they're walking a lot of times you stop them you have to stop them you have

1:46:17 That's a game changer Really? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? It's like, this is not good for my eyes. I wiped out though hard. And lost my left leg. worried that i was going to die when i fell i don't want to get you wrong but some people would Intermediate hill, I think. Bro. Fun times. how to keep your shit together because you're you're in control no one's holding your hand

1:49:18 but they would take the cafeteria trays and just slide down on those. Oh, Alex Honnold? YouTube started recommending him to me. And you have this life-changing moment. I can barely stay upright when I'm running on a regular trail. The Pentagon. it shows what's it called Patreon Peloton Peloton but they have the Pentagon jogging on the side and you like follow

1:51:40 Yeah, but there's something different when you're literally walking up to Runyon You're right, 100%. They'll have that with a unidirectional treadmill, it's the future we're getting one step closer i don't know how much is going to be announced at How much Like, it's not... No, wait. That's not what you want. Yeah program that if Iran really wants to cripple our world. That's what they'll do

1:54:32 them right guys are savage out there doing flips and shit think of how good you have to get at that hacked game of all time. That's the only way. I'm just trying to think. But there wasn't even a real person. You can. I don't think you can say, like, hey, I'll give you this Ferrari if you fuck me. like miley cyrus wanted to start fucking her way through the hottest guys that like her

1:57:20 See ya. She decided to put out for $10, she'll send you a naked picture. She violated rules about sexual be naked oh to any one of these She does not have the free time. Come on. That's why Snapchat has like Snap Cash. They don't? Yeah. It's weird. stuff like that's all pushed a lot of it's pushed by porn. Just the amount of bandwidth involved in porn.

2:00:59 I don't have money off those things. I feel, damn it. Supports the artist. Oh, you bad girl. If Starbucks started giving away free coffee, I don't think anybody's going to keep paying You know what I mean? espresso it's all they had like we only have decaf espresso i'm like who the fuck I just like the flavor of it. At all? Some company's going to stop testing people for nicotine usage.

2:03:15 It's like potty seeds. Yeah. Pop those bitches in. When was the last time you saw a turtle? I know what you're saying. I think we need to do a way better job of collecting garbage and treating garbage and treating our own garbage and just come up with a more comprehensive plan to avoid all Everything? What is this? Yeah. something like that like the the food was cooked using like the oil from the streets no no that's a different that's a different

2:06:13 How dare you, racist piece of shit. thinks he's a lucky pig under it waiting yeah I just googled it Dun, dun, dun. restaurant fires grease traps slaughterhouse waste and sewage from sewer drains Woo! It was them. Is the Young Turks Oh, that's Internet Research Agency, the IRA. The 5G shit shit like that propaganda oh RT has been sowing to think otherwise

2:09:13 It's interesting that you said New York Times And they took it out of context, in quotes. Because they were forced to make a retraction. not what he said. Your fucking magazine's fake mean anything i don't see anything else from that the correction's too late it's in a newspaper how Did he actually say it? But there's still one of the number one. He didn't have any blood.

2:11:59 either that or you're paying attention You're not a podcast. You're a reporter People always think they know better, though. I looked at a newspaper the other day. I was like, I got other shit to think about. attention to less shit that's why this iran thing's got me fucked up because if something The people are so convinced that no matter, want to fuck with the winter yeah i just can't do the fucking snow the humidity that is a little

2:16:25 That was like an ember for a while. And then that place across the street where you ate at, Bebus or whatever. And then the other guy took over and tried to make it a little corporate. so houston at one point in time was a hub man like there was some beasts coming out of here but Texas about moving to Texas in California Barbecue meat. Like, oh, this one's a problem you know that feeling like how sensitive is the

2:19:51 And you know, like, I got to get to a bathroom right now. pressure. There's a heat. You know the heat that you feel? Like sometimes if you got hot diarrhea, It was black splatter. would look like I want you to know I need to know what everybody thinks. Dark, dark, like a Corvette. I mean, that's the blackest I've ever seen, and I thought I had black shit before.

2:22:27 Yeah. The bidet we have here. It makes the whole mine uh it uh opens up the seat when you come in and everything like that but sometimes my just blast that sucker you're just like this is what someone told me i think maybe a limo driver and I just typed in tooth That was not the case for me. Search for colon adapting. all these different people what is okay and what's not okay? What's healthy and what's not healthy?

2:25:47 higher amount of liquid leaving the small intestine than we're used to uh on a high fiber diet and then it comes out in the form of watery shit. drinking a good amount of liquid. I'm being healthy and then it goes across your body. So it gets you from the floor up and it gets you across your body I'm not even going to say the name of it. He wants to lose body fat and he has the bones of a baked chicken.

2:28:11 He posted some video. Yeah, he knows how to ski. There's no want. You get zero points, sir. Are you figuring that out? But there's some shit in the works. No, that was Kevin James. your body like that it's's difficult. I get it. No one's scared to do a dance-off. After that, that's it. Name one. Tap dancer. Listen, bro. Keep it. No disrespect to Mr. Glover. the fuck is that? Tap dancing Listen bro

2:31:14 Nobody gives a fuck can make a living and if that's not the only reason of course i'm joking it's not the only So go ahead. And they're not much better than the reactions that were in the fucking video where it was acted out the real reactions hurt more because they're looking at like Part of the Burt Kreischer experience is like people step over. Well,

2:33:36 albums and then threatened Said he was going to kill him, and then Twitter suspended him. stabbed it's like tom did i was like yo what and it was realistic it wasn't like no it Dude, I looked at myself when my gut was hanging out, my love handles are hanging out. it was 197 or something like that yeah oh i know not not good right so i've lost eight pounds

2:35:36 that is going to change instantaneously right just by changing your diet yeah uh and a lot of like like sodium i'm just joking but that's Oh. You're just drinking a soda. You can do that. Yeah, I wonder if the G2s and the Powerade Zeros, how bad they are for you. That Jim Stepani guy, did you find him? Like, you look at him and you go, Yeah, super jacked.

2:38:28 He just looks black. He's clearly a yeah and i always get messages especially after that 10-year video you guys posted uh people miss Oh, he has a podcast now? and William Montgomery,