Joe Rogan Experience #1412 — Jimmy Dore Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Oh, here we go. Well, we were just talking about the Air Force admitting that their pilots had seen UFOs, and it moved so fast you couldn't track it with the human eye they said it went from i think they And this thing with no active propulsion system that you could recognize. they saw ufos now because again like they've been there have been reports that pilots have seen this

2:31 Hey, look over there. But before, they would say, that's not true. That's cynical? The only reason why they're telling us is because of budgets. candidate he's a traitor to our country and working under the behest of vladimir putin on bomb 131 billion you can go everybody go to college 110 billion we'd have no homeless people Is like 33 years Because they're owned right by the military industrial complex.

5:14 You don't have to figure it out. And he just says it. Like the other day he was doing a signing. And he's sitting around going, well, we get stuff done. taco right that's it like i love hispanics remember that it was after he said some rude Well, sometimes it wears off, though, and you see him slurring his words, and it gets really weird. It's like if you called me at 3 o'clock in the morning

7:46 Because when you hear him talk, you're like, Yeah, the pseudoephedrine, all that stuff. thing with, what was that, there was that reporter that named the Duane Reade pharmacy I know people who say they write songs on speed. Oh, okay. fuck those puppies. Oh, no. Yeah. like why don't you just have her play more yeah Yeah, what the fuck is this? I can't even remember who else was there.

10:19 You're going to find a bunch of bitch-ass men too. that which is most guys most guys yeah most people yeah most men and women are dumb Okay, I can put that together. camera of them tracking that thing there's enough of those now that people are like well what the and he's like look i don't have any other crazy stories in my past he's not a crazy guy he's

12:59 Oh, Sex at Dawn with the book? Wife swapping. That could be it too. War is crazy. My doctor, Dr. Sharp. He's in Pasadena. And then I go Glendale and then Torrance. Anyway so I smoked pot He said they would have a helicopter circling the medical, he was a doctor, the medical. from what you're doing. Wow. So that, yeah, I probably would stop smoking pot.

16:11 When I would travel out of the country, I would always think that, No, no. Yeah. Is that your move? It doesn't help you sleep? And then there's the sleepy pot Whoa This is some GMO shit son looking for a indica high thc he goes how about gmo go you're kidding and it's my fucking barrette and just keeps going. Yeah. So that's things and it makes you appreciate when you're not you know i think that that that feeling that

19:23 Like, you know you're like a basically like oh Yeah, I know. I've been knocked out. It doesn't really hurt. Like, brr, they just shut off. You know, sometimes you get knocked unconscious. They shit themselves, too, if they have to shit. who's a top UFC fighter, Like, you know, they're calling, okay, you're up. You feel feel it's coming But you can't go right now Yeah he's like oh no

21:52 No he didn't shit himself I don't think I said it And we were laughing about it. No. eliminating carbs yeah you get your body to go into ketosis. I don't know. people always ask me why do you always have like that cough it's this goddamn coffee It is amazing. All I know is that when I go to Italy or if I go to Hawaii and I have coffee, it's always better.

24:38 And that same thing in Italy. I'm going to say it makes them juicier. It's so funny you say that because out of nowhere I started talking about, on stage last night, how I hate the word vagina, but I like pussy. Are you experimenting with me? I took it out and I stuck it in her vagina. Yeah Right in the face And there's a while Where like dirty comedy Was like was, like, looked down upon as if it was easier.

26:47 So then they started to give free tickets away. on that is? If people watch a musician it's like, what the fuck does this guy think he's doing? You know why? That's not funny! I always noticed that You could suck as a musician People will still applaud You suck as a comedian Like this fucking Which I can't do At least one thing funny Why am I listening to this idiot?

28:32 And so I remember I was watching the show. And then Bobby Collins. Oh, VH1 was Stand Up Spotlight. like when i would go to clubs i would go to zany's in Chicago, and those guys would just be hilarious. I might not be able to go to Zadie's but I could go to T. Well there was a time during the 80's where there was so many spots Yes. It's a different kind of thing.

30:15 Need a little misery and a little edge. I'm like, man, these people are laid back. Like the comics from Hawaii, I've seen some comics from Hawaii, and they talk about local Yeah, like the guys who live there, they do their whole act as local. Jesus, hey, you beat it. You did it. You really a comic and a DJ in Hawaii. Jesus, you beat it. I go, really?

31:34 It makes all the sense of the world. you know and the thing about like a place like maui there's enough people like you need everything And then there's people that fly in to get something to eat? He lives in Kauai. I'm bad with names. But Lanai is like, there's nobody there, man. I'd sleep straight through. I'm like, God damn it. Medical. No. Oh, I thought I'd give you a little extra taste.

34:18 He gave him Molly. No. Yeah. So they're not pals? He knows. He knows it's not right. And he actually got a bump in his career. is very illegal, but he would do North Dakota guy who's gonna find I ate one. I'm like, nothing. and I, And the next thing I know, I hear my wife behind me go, are you okay? Oh, no. And even smoking it. No. And we're addicted to it.

38:00 You know a couple? take a high level dose it can get psychedelic of edibles yeah yeah i've had that it's a different liver you get something that's not psychoactive in the smoked form so when you smoke it you get Yeah, but if you take 12 pumps, I took 12 pumps once. I was pretending to listen, Yeah. And I'm like I'm interviewing someone That's the cardinal sin.

40:53 And there was a documentarian guy in there with her, and his phone went off at that moment. But Tulsi's been talking this whole time. spinning in her chair and playing with her phone, spinning in her chair and playing with I'm like, hey, you're fucking this thing up, man. That's a different thing, though, because you know you're going to be live. It's not live.

42:15 No, because often, the other day on my show, so like when we were in the green room, me, Oh, my God. And they've been around for so long, they're grandfathered in. The N's and the T? Because it was old. Yeah. Bluto was a rapist. I think rape was probably really prevalent, I'm going to make my own channel They can use it as, you know, they could just switch it over and say it's not about Jimmy

45:23 Yeah. like film it, have the podcast filmed, and then have the clips cut up and then release There's a real problem with copyright strikes. fucking a guy took a film uh from his uh like it was like a cell phone of a satellite being launched they have to put they put a stamp you know time stamp of what is the copy written audio right So he's saying, the guy who investigated said he thinks it's intelligence.

47:57 Of all our videos Insane amount. When you see the video and there's like two heads and there's a small photograph, a screenshot. And it's weird because like some people, like you have a podcast that's just audio, right? Like there's a lot of people Like it doesn't make any Yeah he is the like Like Tom Papa On YouTube doesn't like me And I remember I walked up to him and I go,

49:55 Good advice. I just got in trouble. Like I had a candidate on. With who? I should say that writer. Talking to David fucking Duke. The grand wizard of the KKK. And he's like, oh, you're not racist. it's clear as day that he was being sarcastic and so talking to david fucking duke yeah the grand The New York Times is horrible. I've got you. Yeah. Always.

51:51 Oh, thanks. I think you have a dual purpose. Yes. Yeah. It's easy. I know. put whatever Dick Cheney told her on the Oh, God. Right. He has Wolfpack. Right. There's the only kind of people who get rich while in government a criminal. That's what Truman said. Yeah. There's the only kind of people who get the rules that they should. Right. I know that.

55:13 like if i watch this fucking thing i'm gonna stay up all night it was one of those like i can't watch As Julian Assange revealed through She didn't launch an investigation. that she was briefed in 2002 Yeah, he danced. complicated like i don't i don't remember the exact thing that the the i don't remember the exact scam like but pelosi was involved in that there you go

57:35 we don't even know who the bad guys are. We would go to war for minerals? Nothing. study that reveals that they're lying. all this that at the beginning of the war, they immediately gets rolled by the military industrial complex just like trump did i believe that i i did I know. just what Eisenhower said as he left. I mean, just think what you could do with that.

1:01:17 So that's how you know they're full of shit. Well, they just gave him 131. would you give him an extra $131 billion to go bomb anybody at his own pace? She actually volunteered to go serve in their illegal wars, and then they smear her for it. things i'm white i don't know it is really i mean the hawaiian roots are essentially uh polynesian She does a right-wing sexist smear on Bernie Sanders is what's happening.

1:04:15 Right. Yes. It's amazing, like, you know, to pretend that the Bidens aren't corrupt. That seems like it might be a little corrupt. And the next guy was even more tougher of an investigator. But that guy was the emoluments clause? Why didn't they do that? She deserves it. Oh my god, she She did. paid off by the the guy who owns the Celtics. But he sells hats

1:06:53 That's the guy who's a community organizer. And then when he comes back in the public life, the first thing he does, he goes to make speeches for equity firms. But it's amazing that they still honor that, that they're so rock solid in their commitment They're dirty. And that's deceit. and saying, my best friend, Joe Biden, These are the people who took you to Libya. These are the people who took you to Iraq. These are the people who took you to Libya.

1:09:22 Do it in his voice. And we're going to get rid of your brand of corruption when I'm president. of yes so elizabeth warren was like hey bernie's policies are pretty popular i'll pretend like Well, we're going to have a woman who's not as good as a guy. How Meghan McCain he's a terrorist though? I don't know. Who are we talking about? Oh really? Have you seen that one where she says it over and over and over?

1:11:55 People made me stop playing it. Watch this. to be the greatest riverboat casino captain seven wars He's the best. Oh, that's funny. I love guys like him. So he's got like, You can say crazy shit about women How strange is that Okay. Thanks for playing that. He puts out a lot of shit. You know what? Do you? Oh, no. Every night Which is in Burbank Comedy Magic Club

1:16:06 My friend Alan Havy And he gets three sets a night There's nothing better In stand-up, you have to do stand-up If you have too much of a break it's not necessarily nervous because i know jokes i know how to tell them right but i don't feel All of a sudden, I was hungry. You know, I have some interests in calzones. nervousness you can't eat yeah so you go on stage hungry yes but you probably should be but i don't

1:18:36 That's a lot of time. It's not just guys doing a podcast. Right. That makes a little more sense that you want to eat in the middle of show. Video. Doing a video show. But we write jokes for the videos and everything. It's not just guys doing a podcast. of that chicken. people already like me oh okay that's a good way of looking at it yeah that it's you know it's

1:19:30 Yeah. Yeah. In front of my crowd, I'm much more they like you. That's right. And then a regular audience where there's like five other people, especially that lab. You're on stage and you hear the door and see people walking in. You know, now that you mention it, Right? You fucking asshole. dancing. He didn't get in trouble. year old autistic college student who just gets to talk for the first time yeah yeah it was so

1:22:35 your fucking mind if there's a thing to make fun of why do white people think this is dancing by Probably had a couple of pops. Yeah, he's not running for anything. You're watching her dance and you're like trying to get something from Look at her dancing. Oh, no, she's doing it there, too. Everything is moving like this or Elizabeth Warren is lying about him saying that.

1:24:40 She's 70. It's like falling off. It's supposed to be up here. Pretty much. Fredo? Are you 16? The idea that he thought that he could pass that off and he knew they were filming him, Is it really? It doesn't work. And there was a lot of dispute between the Irish and the Italians. It depends on what you like. Which was all Italian. rely a lot of i shouldn't say we a lot of industry podcasts it doesn't really rely on illegal immigrants but a lot of industries rely on illegal immigrants and it's it's a

1:28:46 It was a fence in some places. He just says it in a way that's... 26 000 bombs they ran out of bombs then you find out he's putting immigrants in cages you find out It's over. Do you think the main thing about impeachment is supposedly that he tried to get Ukraine to investigate his political opponent, Joe Biden. So many people are clinging to this as if this impeachment makes sense,

1:30:46 an ugly face on the stuff we've been doing all along and so now people are going to be more aware Like when he was talking about Iran, they helped fast track his judges they fucking uh also helped him deregulate wall street what He just did a video with all the Democratic candidates talking about unity. So they all ponied up and they were all in it.

1:33:15 He's the guy who says New York needs more billionaires. A lot of independents, libertarians. Who do you think they're leaning towards for the nominee? And the way she lies about it. with these black guys. Is that on the Breakfast Club? I think maybe, I don't, is that Charlemagne? Is that on The Breakfast Club? And she was just basically saying, was ask the normal questions.

1:35:16 Yeah. She claimed she did it. You're 100% that? Like, that's a liar. Native American. He had a mohawk and everything. He was playing up the Native American thing. It's exotic. that he would give a million dollars to charity, I find everything you're saying right now sexist i hope He seems at least partially independent. after a while so that's why oh man that guy

1:38:15 I think you're thinking of the Dick Cheney movie. Oh, really? trump i remember saying on seven five you give me $1 million for charity if my choice of my DNA showed Native Oh, God. Look, I am I mean, I thought that when she said she got fired from teaching and then the video came out and said she quit, I thought that would be the end. We had a couple drinks

1:40:15 And hours of tapes on me You know why $27? It was funny here in 2016. Yeah. Nothing. They lied to Congress on camera. telling the truth is a treasonous act or something. about it. He's spending tons of money on he's spending so it's a local thing into South Carolina It's so transparent and really gross. They cried wolf to me. the establishment, of that turmeric coffee on it.

1:43:13 It's all right. because I've got to go and do the UFC this weekend in Vegas. I'll do the store. Yes. Instagram angle. Oh, is that it? It's like him in the Yeah. Why would he do all that? He came in a Rolls Royce If he showed up He's got an old cop car he's driving around in. Yeah. Even though he won being fat, there was a lot of factors in that fight.

1:46:09 When you're heavyweight and you're slinging those fucking gigantic fists he flatlines his trainer or his uh his sparring partner with one punch happens it happens all Wow. Yeah. If you look at his record, it's insane. he has 40 knockouts And he hit him like this. Ortiz was tough. Oh, okay. Yeah. Tyson Fury's masturbating seven times a day to prep for a wilder rematch.

1:48:21 I think he's reading into that. That is not true, right, Joe? I'm masturbating seven times a day to keep up my testosterone pumping. So I always thought having sex was bad for you before a fight. Because if he didn't have sex, Oh, my God. And it was a fictitious meeting between Picasso and Einstein in a bar in France. but men will rarely say that in the presence of women.

1:50:50 otherwise you get fucking distracted it is true women have no idea i heard a thing on npr one time Well, it's not just that. It's it. Okay. There's terrible men. There's the same with men. that are positive. when you look at all And you hear this a lot today, especially white men. by anything. Both statements, generalizations are disgusting Who are these billionaires?

1:55:47 It kind of blew me away. It sounds like you're calling yourself a sissy. was saying, basically, to shame yeah now you've equalized the playing field you level the playing field but the problem with that Why don't you dress up like Meghanain and just start going on rants on Yeah. Do you ever worry you're going to say something? the other day? That's what I'm talking about, how dumb.

1:58:47 Jamaicans have multiple jobs. Oh, the only thing I've ever heard about Jamaicans Look, I smoke a lot of pot. Do you do that? You know, what I was getting at from all of this, though, is that we have to look at each other as individuals. In the play, in the musical, the dad is black and the mom's chinese which is like okay maybe she's I guess, he was great in his role.

2:01:22 I'd be like, uh, you just, clunky way they're moving against discrimination they're moving against racism they're moving for and try to, Get them in here. up they use this controversy to gain money or notoriety or push their cause or to use it as Well anybody that says you're sexist Fuck you I am woman hear me roar just don't make fun of the way they dance because they have a vagina.

2:03:56 Yes. a black woman or what that's nonsense it's so dumb like you happen you might happen to be a little part of it like so even someone who say doesn't have the pedigree like there's a white Because you can be really smart, like Chelsea Clinton, but she doesn't know what it's like to have to have her medicine. So there's something to that too, right?

2:06:36 Their experience overcoming adversity shapes their character. Yes, yes. So they're all, he still, he served, he served the establishment power like any white president did. And his cabinet did the same thing. By the way, his cabinet came from an email from Citigroup, which I know, you know. part of the problem with any of these conversations and also they're so loaded. When you talk about men or women or

2:08:19 You should be talking about anything you want We didn't even talk on the phone before this We just started talking about farts Yeah. Pre-interviews. there was a crazy article that Conan O'Brien is leading the way No? He's interviewing famous people. So he has this thing, and then you do this other thing. Yeah, yeah. And what was funny too, For variety.

2:10:56 It's just gross. They all seem like very nice people. Why do you go after him? And this Hollywood mentality on the left is that all bad things started in January 2017. We don't ever prosecute them, exact same, that's the cognition of a fucking first lady. It's all fucking vote blue no matter who. russia gate you were but the beautiful thing i come out here and do a victory lap yet you should

2:13:28 She didn't and I called her I said why don't you come and she goes, you know So anyway I don't know if they are i've had requests from all of them really oh yeah biden warren how do you how do you resist that Well, I've always been. Never. No, there's nothing about me that's right-wing. population is right wing because they kill their own food i i think there's a lot of right wing

2:15:49 That is a very non-right-wing way of looking at it because everybody's like, drug addled neighborhood you don't know what that's like and we should make it so that no one Jobs. They've got to do something about the violence FDR did. We have the money for it. broken their life goes upside down i mean you know how I have a job, but I got sick. You don't even know what poverty is like until you see that.

2:18:29 What the fuck's wrong with you? My family lived right off of Lombard Street. I just look like a Republican. Sure. You ever been knocked out by a vegetarian? And I go, yeah, I'm trying not to. I just can't eat pork anymore. She was on her way out to the car and she just ran into a pack of them and they took her out. They have four in a litter. And they spread across the entire country.

2:21:19 So your theory is they don't know it's coming. You try to avoid that. The only time they do do that with pigs is when they're trying to eradicate all of them. But what about pig farming? And then the chickens go into the chicken house at night. just fall apart i can't i hear you but but wild pigs are different yeah that's different because change their snout starts to lengthen their hair gets thicker and bushier and their tusks grow

2:24:20 And I'm like, because of my condition, right? I do have more energy. that kind of shit. Yeah, you can buy grass fed, coming. They put a bolt to their head and bang, they You don't want to say that But the quality of the meat They're not supposed to eat that And so you think if you went vegetarian of your nutrient levels. You have to really fat. Well, it's a lot of carbs.

2:26:55 Did you fuck with any of that vegan chicken stuff or any of those weird ones that make them look like real food? No. good for you either but of course a regular burger is just meat with bread and all the bullshit the No. But if you go to the ingredients, man, I've had scientists relay the ingredients to me. Is that good? Is it people, Joe? It's people.

2:28:51 The human animal evolved from eating meat. so they're more tender it's it's not as simple as like why do we have an appendix why is that i'll Is that what Like very hard Yeah, I'm thinking about it. It was like right here. i i was kind of okay with it right but i wasn't because i was in a lot of pain i wanted it to end So gallbladder would be like Yeah my appetite is

2:31:02 So that and then often But it could kill you if it stays and doesn't go away. And so I had my second gallbladder attack, and I was like, I got to get this goddamn thing out because I can't have this happen again. so i had to pay out of pocket god damn yes had to pay out of pocket. Goddamn son of a bitch. So this whole thing, you're going to have to wait. You have to fucking wait right now.

2:32:33 About waiting? Yeah. Once you don't have to pay for it, you don't want health care should be free i really do i think education should be free i think if we're going that this is a foolish notion, that's almost that's double the money it would take to send everybody to college for free I'm like, I thought you were a right winger. Oh, those idiots they just think because i've talked to alex jones or

2:35:03 there i forget it's the name and we're all sitting there beat me up so all my brothers let me know oh it sounds like He wouldn't. Yeah, he was going hard. Your body can't process it right anymore. But you know what a lot of that is? A lot of it is not just Glutathione, yeah. I bet you did. Yeah They had one of those And you would drink it. I was one glass.

2:38:12 Like seven shots or something? Oh, all sugar. I did. It's funny. Where was it? It's a fake rubber dick. used to go on stage with his balls out of his pants and how to dress it so he'd go on stage putting the bombing I mean fucking killing. And you can see her kind of feeling her oats. That seems criminal. He's got this huge belly. There he is. I mean,

2:41:14 Like people can get People could see it. I remember when I was a kid, I had older sisters, and there was a flasher in our neighborhood. humiliation something you're addicted to that kind of there's lots of people like that yeah well how How is that fun? I went to Catholic. It's got to be your mom, right? He loves dominatrix. I guess it's just. Super powerful guys with weird kinks, they usually want to get pegged, right?

2:44:02 They're pegged. Oh yes, I'm a bad And he wouldn't do it. Oh, She was pretty hot. And my friend, She probably always wanted to peg a guy. and 16 year old boys locked up in a house somewhere in miami she's making them all eat her ass Yeah And so everybody Yeah. Because they're not And women's equality any other way to fuck. Just saying those words out of your fucking mouth.

2:47:46 Well, it is about treating people equally if you feel that it's about treating people equally. So let me just, can you, what is the definition the sexes how weightlifting making babies there's no advocacy of women's rights based on the equality organized activity on behalf Okay. I always say, Does he? Jesus Christ Tell everybody how to get to your show

2:50:03 Go to JimmyDoreComedy.com and you'll see everything.