Joe Rogan Experience #144 — Eddie Bravo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Oh, Jesus. I'm not fucking around. Because I didn't want to have to deal with those dudes. I'm tired of it. let them do anything until they're in their 20s i don't think kids should be getting drunk i think Don't do shit while you're developing. In the future, by the time the kids are 18, 19, 20, hopefully it'll be legal. all the way through, I'm

3:09 and that's not what anybody's saying you don't need it you don't need it but it's good it's that You know, alcohol doesn't make you introspective. drunk, you don't give a fuck. It just to fuck up their life. Well, guess what? Their life is already fucked up. You come to certain roadblocks or certain things in your life where you have to sort of make

5:05 Like acting is glaring. It really is a shame. and it's the most Republican of all ideas. Stay the fuck out of my private life. Stay the fuck There's resistance It was actually made by alcohol companies. That was the reefer madness propaganda. and you jump out of windows and you kill people You know what I mean? play bass and smoking i i was so clueless i didn't have any idea because every now and then i'd get

8:55 when you get paranoid i still get paranoid every now and then every now and then that fucking If you smoke weed, you're going to focus on that. the greatest hemp activist out there, started smoking weed when he was 35. He was totally anti-weed, just like me, just like Joe. Joe hated So you should be happy that we're trying to tell you the truth. He doesn't like it. He doesn't like the feeling.

11:03 it in someone else. I really think that's what it is. You know, they're, they're scared themselves that it's, and then he ate them that maybe like a primetime show It wasn't like him eating a mushroom, Yeah, so they've done that before. I think it's John Hopkins, yeah. It had a positive effect on their personality. dumb dumb. We are. I'm not saying you, personally.

14:10 It's better than a vitamin. No one's ever died from it. So that he can appreciate it more. Because your health starts to go when you're getting old. that I would quit. I would realize I like to smoke one or two hits and then go do something. in a cloud cloud. Especially if your health's not good. weed too much credit i mean we just But there would have been a difference in the art.

17:07 Shit that people die from. You know, again, I don't want my kid smoking weed at 13 or 14, but No. I'm calling not to speak to Ed Bravo. I'm live on the air or I'm talking to you? How do you think? That is the most inside of inside jokes The 3GS was a mild upgrade. Well, that new Sirii there's a new know if that's how it's spelled and so it's like an assistant. That's the idea? Yeah, and it's pretty much the first step into having no interaction with having to touch your phone.

20:29 You just use that as a search. I'm like, you would write an email to this company and the company would write it out in Well, now they just announced it on this new iPhone That's probably what they do. But that's what the whole thing is. It's $2 handwriting. I don't know if they do it by person. I bet it's a printer that looks like handwriting. That's probably what they do.

21:43 I can't imagine that there's really a business for that but yeah yeah you did come up with that apps back to your texting you know sometimes you're just looking at a white screen for man, you just got to sit there and it takes forever screen, you've got to press it twice. It is one of Apple's dumbest, flumsiest fucking designs. Okay. in the text and i go right back to tweet and it's right on the same page that's exactly where it was

24:33 That's a processor thing for the most part. That would make sense. It's like the best Wi-Fi. All right, so this isn't 4G. it off and it's wireless and you can put it on that clicked on the corners whatever are you talking about headphones for listening to things or for talking you're allowed to have. Those black dudes who are really aggressive, That's one of those,

27:54 flying through the air man where's it going i mean how how does that interact with ourselves Someone figured out that there was some tracks where it's almost like all around us isn't really a sound, yeah add who knows who knows how many different things who knows oh i wonder what all this shit in our lives by frequencies They would have to manually encode their

30:17 just send it just to you it's crazy like that as technology just snowballs it's the more access we They know what cell phone tower you hit. well certainly it's the the connection is much more immersive than it's ever been before broken and for 10 days he sat down there with this dead guy living off of uh grass and bugs But can you imagine 10 days on the bottom of a creek, and there's not cell phone service?

32:44 Your body breaks and then you can't move. That might as well be uncharted wilderness. Yeah. Ooh, that's scary. It's so hard to even wrap your head around it. It's magnificent. lot of parts of that fucking drive where you're Remember? You have a world phone now. we used to use them all the time we used to have to use satellite phones there were certain

35:09 It goes up to the sky and then back down. But if you ever look at the satellite phones, there's a reason why they're big, giant bricks. OnStar shut off his car and called the police. and the fact that they actually have people sitting there going, Well, I know it's possible that they could shut it off if someone's driving it, right? It seems like they have.

37:19 to be mandatory it's going to be law that the chp or the police department or whatever the fuck they Oh he broke You have to go to a track Like the highway. made sense because if you were going more than 55 miles an hour an old fucking chevy nova one of saying something crazy maybe it was 80 but uh there's a lot of parts of texas i fucking love I heard that they're voting to get the speed limit moved to 90, I think is what they were saying.

39:18 Every time you went into town, you would sell. I don't want to say his name. He never came on the road with us. or Verizon Center? punani song yeah like they play your song all the time yeah he was just quoting a bit that i did i jokes. You know, if you play, like I might not even know what the fuck they're talking about. jokes and chick jokes and cock blocking jokes and then right into your pyramid bit you started

41:38 The Anna Nicole Smith bit. Now, I'll never get tired of that one. That's more of a bear. fucking her up just started fucking her up but it was just like the bear just woke up and realized The actual video? starts fucking her up for no reason she sat down that's the weirdest thing about animals man stupid bear doing somersaults you know you got, you know, instead of killing deers and eating berries and

44:25 Isn't it crazy that when these trained animals, a lot of them, when they attack, they don't policy on you know what i mean it's gotta that's got it's gotta be what it is i don't get it you He's going to attack again. and then it turns and eats your brother's Good luck. once you have habitualized a bear to people they have to lock them up they have to put them in

46:33 and they just fuck you. And by the time I got to the zoo, that's when it started kicking in. I bet they're always on shrooms or some kind of drug. the fuck out. I was just hoping that He bites down on her leg and he's pulling her leg through the fucking bars. Just seals and people So these whales, like you see them, It's incredible. Maybe that. Mariachi band.

49:33 and tilt his head up and down Why wouldn't it be exciting and interesting to them? It is... Because if that was a person, So far he's not really doing anything significant. Listening to bad music. It's just a cool video to watch. Nachos? Wow, amazing. Are you going to let me go today freedom day that's the thing that we have to be the most concerned about with aliens man because think of the disrespect that we have for everything

52:16 Get in the tank. I mean, because we're trying to teach them our words like jump, trick. Timothy Leary was, or is there some electromagnetic shit going on now? two speakers and then this video plays. And the sensory deprivation environment when you're in there you you are weightless and bodiless and you don't feel shit you feel like uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

54:49 And they show on this video, it compares what they actually saw and what the brain sees. That's where it's headed. Humans, humans communicating with humans is going to get real weird, man. You don't. They're so far off. Dolphin app. Never say never. Humans communicating with do tricks. They created some instrument where they decipher some John Lilly, that was one of the reasons why he created what he rather uses, that he used the tank for.

56:34 But we do know that they have dialects. to not be able to alter your environment to develop some sort of intelligence to the level Like where, and exactly what's happened. that doesn't seem to be a good idea i mean i know you know people have been bitten or nudged or like that. I mean, they would use killer whales These pink monkeys with their bang sticks, you don't want to be fucking with them.

58:50 It was a terrible environment they live in. and then they jack her, or it's a big group of males, but because they want to have sex alone if those males that run into her didn't have sex with her they will kill that baby and then It's insane. But in the dolphin world, when dicks get hard, chick gets crazy. Everything intelligent. but from killing whales.

1:01:32 and they're just fucking this whale up. We don't give a fuck. We can't understand them so we just put them in the cage. They know all the answers, where we came from. What if all their data was like ones and zeros? We pollute the ocean world Well, the ones who can manipulate matter, they figure out a way to make tools and make vehicles to fly over to where you live and fuck you up.

1:03:29 There's a lot of motherfuckers flying around. This is an ocean. Hate those fuckers. Yeah. You just got to look for it. Crabs? It's harder To shave their pussies everyone shaves the only thing cool about a hairy pussy is, it's all mushy and gushy and mushy. It's there because people usually fuck missionary Apparently farts are aphrodisiacs when we were cavemen.

1:06:18 I figured out how to take that brontosaurus down. I have no idea. Yeah, something like that. compared to a lot of girls not their pussies they're very their japanese are hairless but Is that what you're saying? Well, they have thinner skin and they have a few think they're a separate species i think they they're they're the closest to being different

1:08:41 Like, it hurts their eyes more than. That was the last time. They have a bar out there where 15-year-old, 14-year-old girls dress up like French. about it's like the crimson bloods Bloods. They got some crazy animated porn. Seriously? But I just like, it's cartoons. What's the best they've done in porn like that? The only ones I've seen, they look totally fake.

1:11:02 Salami had that movie? We call him Salami. Peach maker. Oh, dude, I was there. Just keep banging those chicks. house and I go can you imagine that and Ron Jeremy was right there and I started fucking laughing He was knocking on the door. Whatever he is. Viagra. I don't believe in it. watch sports shows but they were talking to the head guy, is there, and like, what

1:14:16 189 pound heavyweight champion What if he went to boxing and became the world heavyweight champion in boxing? Yeah, and he's got that big, inking head. He doesn't have, like, That guy never gets tired. heavyweight champion, but he would be I call it cholon out. It's just rare that Mexicans and think of how many Mexicans Think about all the bad... I mean, it's amazing how many...

1:16:46 It's the closest one. It's all the same shit. Remember when that dude was on top? He couldn't even speak a word of English. I loved them both. I want to say it was a Staples Center, but it might have been before the Staples Center even existed. I don't know where the fuck Boxing is, I was, it was okay. My best friend growing up, James, he was black. white guy. I'm going with the Latin guy. That's the closest thing to Mexico. It was okay.

1:19:15 And it was okay. Always. But boxing, shit. Even if it's a guy who I like just the but there's something special to me when a guy has reached the extraordinary heights He was no longer competitive. You get back up. How about TJ Grant pulling guard that he pulled guard with a guillotine because a lot of guys don't like pulling guard with a black belts out there, mundial

1:22:49 It's like, you know what? I knew he was talented when I first saw him. And he's like, the first I've ever heard of Paul Sass, The guy stands up, pulls away, runs away. And still in the first round, he shot again for a fourth time shot. damn, this guy's going to go on his back. I'm just going to go on top and just mash him. I can't ever seen like the way marcelo garcia went through all those competitors in abu dhabi in 2003 when we

1:25:38 There are a handful of fighters that have zero problem pulling guard. exact same thing. He pulled guard. And he didn't tap him, but I'm like, whoa, that was quick. And then you've got guys like— Well, you know he's had surgery on his eyes. And he poked the fucking shit out of his You look at him and you go, when you see him in between fights, that's a heavyweight.

1:27:49 know i mean i'm only just taking wild stabs at it because i don't think it's so good to cut that like he was in the finals of Tough when he fought that Tommy Spears kid, I think what you see now is that guy's going to get better. But that guy, he's a special athlete. If you look at all the people that are fighting right now and all the different equations,

1:29:53 I love that. You know what I'm talking about? Diego Nunez. I love guys who just throw it all out. I want you to do a wheel kick with power. Jon's got a wicked sidekick turning the hip. Because when American the front leg roundhouse kick. Because the karate techniques, a lot of them, shit because you can't get punched in the face in Taekwondo tournaments.

1:33:37 what you should do is at least one day a week work on kicks. When you add in kicks, a lot of those techniques go out the window. tool for the arsenal but unless you have a fully rounded game those tools become problems like the I think eventually what we're going to have to have is there's going to be a system. their time, their distance, when they're running the 40 or running the 100. They're trying to

1:36:06 be on as far as striking. different techniques. All your vulnerabilities You see them improving every time you see them At the very top You know, the same way people look at Rocky Marciano We're going to look back on him now. Wait till those all guys, those all start fighting MMA fights. telling you, I've been doing and like wow they got some strong passing strong hips you know and a year ago um i opened 10th

1:39:15 that combines kung fu break dancing, a good way of putting it and uh you know the school opened and right away all the break dancers started taking jujitsu and He was just going right through dudes. So I invited him and all his break dancers over to headquarters, my school here in L.A. Turbo and ozone? So these exercises that they do, it's all they're doing one-handed handstands

1:41:56 These guys, I think of myself as being a guy who's in good shape. And I got this all on video. new animal because I've never felt anything like this. It's combining core exercises and extreme It's extreme yoga. Because there's a lot of yoga elements yeah there's their style is is a In jiu-jitsu, the level of bases that's required is and they could learn it in five minutes or less.

1:44:50 What if that turns out to be the workout? exercise into the 10th planet system i'm definitely i'm sold i'm like i'm at the gym weightlifting That guy's, watch, wait till you roll with him. That's amazing. You know what else I heard is really good, too, is Pilates. relaxing in between seasons. body is, how you can force it to do adapts. Is it really that good?

1:47:34 all day? He goes, no, I smoked one or two a day at the your system you can slip away from the grips of addiction slowly they say it takes them 10 years Enjoy it if you like it. A pack. you don't go right to the full pack. Does that work for... Really? Well, I think that's because it's insightful. I mean, that's essentially what these people are saying.

1:49:56 the spirit of ayahuasca when you were talking about And I think it's very likely that we are just at a stop on the dial and that the reality of infinity is that there is an unlimited number of frequencies to tune into. on the way to discovering that, oh no, We don't understand the other ones. What are thoughts? And the human imagination is what tunes in when you're sleeping, and it's where all these psychedelic compounds that are all created by your own body

1:52:36 I'm totally guessing. And it's because of our desire to protect our biology and to breed. And it all seems to me to be a part of some sort of an engineered system, That's what we might be. I mean, whether or not it's aware of that direction is another question entirely. I would say it's a direction. It's towards a certain direction. No one is. We're not. No one is. Definitely not. So I wouldn't say it's intelligent. I would say it's a direction.

1:55:11 You carry those thoughts and what you've learned from those experiences the rest of your life. I was thinking I was important. It's late at night. What the hell? That's an Alpha Brain commercial right there. I want your honest, unbiased opinion about this. or whatever you're part of this galactic We're SeaWorld for aliens. What happened right there where you said you don't want to get into it, but it just, man, what's going to happen? What happened? What happened right there where you said you don't want to get into it?

1:58:10 to get to a certain point. What if we don't know it? And they became super sophisticated. If something came from another planet, It broadcasts something. It was a one megapixel digital camera. Why are we going to watch Jeff Speakman? But there's a few dudes who are just fucking their dreams are so awesome. Well, you know it's going to be really crazy.

2:01:22 becomes artificial, like instantaneous. On the left side is what the person is watching A lot of people are worried about this We're going to really recognize ourselves as one. You'll laugh at those people but without any facial expressions. Yeah. at a staggering pace. compared to chimps, No, they wouldn't count right. we're going to have big, giant heads.

2:04:17 No jiu-jitsu at all. go into You'd be like the best masturbation site. travel. They just figured out how to tune We're getting some bleed over from another dimension, and that's what UFOs are. He lied about shit that's really traceable. Yeah, come on. You know what? His story is he had this job there. And so they go, this motherfucker is going to be emotionally unstable.

2:07:21 He started telling his story about how he worked there and they hired him to back engine. Because when you look into the guy and he says all these fantastic things, crazy story about it and then make sure that he's full of shit. Make sure he's full of You used to be able to get much closer to Area 51, but people would go to this certain ridge, didn't have it down yet. And we know

2:09:28 I don't know. accurate it works on magnetic waves and it's all fucking nutty but it glows and it flies all around They were going to blow up a drone plane. And then people just want to leave it alone. Because they have to do that. I saw something online about how the government bought all the seeds. A giant. Really? and they're like a quarter million bucks,

2:12:24 The problem is you spend... How there how you gonna get there when like a fucking tidal wave I could totally see him like, don't fucking open the door Unless you're a compound guy. like you've got a house. Like, tell us what the fuck is going on in your basement. Was he preparing for the end of the world? air's pumped up through a straw. You know what I mean?

2:14:56 all the money and shit, just keep digging. so that you could survive. It's coming, but you just got to shut up about it. It might be better to just die. We have a responsibility to keep this race going. The idea of being able huge natural disaster. And then people That makes sense to me. I would definitely do it. I would We'd lose everything that we can bang on.

2:17:56 connected to devices and at least if your bunkie's a good guy, You know how rich They'd be like, fuck you. Money doesn't mean anything when an asteroid's They'd have instructions. impact of the earth you just feel the whole thing everything just shake could you imagine they say from the caveman time, right? How much oxygen would you need? And this reactor runs these lights, and they make it rain on these plants,

2:21:13 cross and you have to put gates on your time where does all the poop go people just show up No, you would have to have, I would have a syringe ready to go for everyone in my family. Eddie Bravo. What was that, Brian? Nice. Shazam. It's on the east side of Hollywood. We got an awesome MMA team. Yeah. We actually, I didn't know this until recently, but we actually have the biggest strip pole class.

2:23:51 You hear about that Anderson Cooper thing? fucking head. On the show. Fucking show's over, folks. Thank you to the Fleshlight. That's it. I don't usually advertise that shit, son. The small room is the shit, dude. Denver. Good UFC, too.