Joe Rogan Experience #1461 — Owen Smith Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Owen Smith! Hey! How you feeling? I feel good, man. I'm excited. Cheers. Cheers, man. Salud. Come on, man. Salud. I understand some people in some places have a hard time getting access to the test. You know, and if I found out that there was something we were doing that was somehow another taking away from their ability to be tested i would never do

1:42 Just some random magoo that's posting something. You're a little nervous. It says early antibody tests indicate far more cases and a much lower mortality rate. The Fox thing? There's one on LA.com. I get it. Let me ask you this question, though. Vicious mortality rate. But if they don't catch it before the symptoms set in. did to that dog you know you never know how people treat that dog yeah and i've had a bunch of sketchy dogs i've had dogs that i got from the

5:30 And I went to go visit him in the Bahamas. My mom was pissed. But let's play what he said. So now it says apparently joking. and he tells him about this L.A. study. Is it really? Yeah. Maybe he's got a weird sense of humor. to get tested. development, with three in human They're eating babies. But the other guy coming in saying you don't have to wear a mask.

9:21 Maybe. Is it? He's walking like mad close to me. Uber driver guy? Then Two have since passed away from it. And their son, it's in the L.A. Times, it's the first article. two young children i'm just like i'm yeah i'm just i'm more on the caution side but i'm not also hearing stories from the other side of people who are who are like fairly Right. Michael Yeo's in good shape.

12:42 I was like, wow. Yeah, man, because of what And, yeah, I mean, I'm just, I have a very cautious mind. That's funny. That's true about you. on stage. That's so funny. That's funny. Every time one of my friends go, fuck it, man. I'm just going to live in the moment. And there are a lot of people in Trader Joe's lines like him. If it was just me in the crib, I would be trying to get last days puss.

14:39 So you're just sitting in an apartment going crazy. Y'all go together. here's what I'm happy about. And we don't go anywhere. It's scary or for people that have compromised immune systems. Oh gosh. Yeah, this is the weirdest time of our lives Like that kind of stuff is just like, fuck. I had a sold out show in Vancouver last night in an arena. the economy. I'm worried about people

16:42 And they're doing curbside pickup where people can Did you hear about what happened when they did the small business loan? We just need more. Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, time Everybody in this country. In this country? So it would be $300 billion. It's like people don't remember Bill Gates, the old Bill Gates. This is my really nice rich guy thing. when you walk into a room,

19:09 Because that's how the girl would know it was over. He called this, though our we weren't ready for Yes. Like Those are the ones That's a button up t-shirt Forrest Gump of I'm a big fan. Oh, wow. But what I like about his career is that he's not somebody you would think of, but when he's in there, you don't mind that he's there. Get out of here. It's ridiculous, man.

21:59 Yeah, we were talking about last time, folks, that comedians, a lot of us keep our old, old notebooks. Yes. Is it Owen Smith TV? YouTube. I need your help in fixing Yeah, and subscribe. Owen Smith TV, there you go. So if you subscribe, you'll know when they're coming out sooner. It was great because everybody has a different approach to the craft. what

23:55 now I don't know I don't carry it good the room and all of that so i went to audition, I go, just let me do a guest set. And I never forgot them for that. I don't remember. How many times you brush your teeth if you got to kiss Halle Berry? Young Halle. She's so pretty. With the dogs. It's incredible. Some guru. husband right you know partner I know it's a woman you're talking about a

27:10 Hilarious. Some people you got to live with for a little. Where it's real is when you live together. Whether they ask you to do more things than you ask them to do. All day. Or you got to really know each other. This is real. Y'all not going to make it. Yes. And then be out. Yeah. Exactly. I was like, I'm out. No. Like she had like degrees. Yeah. You owe student loans, you're paying those.

31:44 Depending on it. They probably take a good size chunk too. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And you're never going to pay, right. And they take some of it. Depending on it. just at the park trying to feed the pigeons. it what was your degree I was finance or you say finance if you had money just sit down and look at me and check in with me So I wasn't being like a, a dick cause I enjoy, like, I just noticed how she was saying it. No

33:15 What did you just say? because their alphabet they have So katakana is more syllabic. And I'm also drinking a little scotch. names right so uh so if your name is um i don't know um d'artagnan you could do that in japanese And I'm like, we will make fun. i kind of that's a trip i've always wanted to take and see how much of it like comes back to ni hao ma like that, like I

36:31 You can say Ni Hao. That's the only thing I don't like about learning languages in school. Like, if you could learn that, you could probably learn eight languages. What are your pronouns? I'm rusty on it, but it was like you know you see it and that's kind of like how you would say i'm like this dude it's like you can but it's like So what would you say?

39:11 And it depends on what part of Japan you are, how you lean into the desu. It's Sumisu, Sumisu, Smith. They would ask me. Yeah. Learning economics. the one thing all the time the corona Well, our system, where are the holes in Blaze. And I'm like, hey, Steve, what you doing? I'm going rollerblading. It's the ripple effects. I mean, where I get lost is when they just start talking about like injecting money and fixing things, you know, with money. I'm not, I'm not, I'm lost in that. I'm more, I'm more into like the personal, like what happens to us? Like, like, how do we, I'm fascinated with that shit. Like the human nature of what's, you know, going to happen. Like, how are things going to change on the other side of this? Right? Like, Are you going to shake hands? Are you going to be, you know?

44:04 And my mom. as hell. And then when we're And he's like, like literally like locking his door. Or do I let it go? So I just, my son didn't even see it. That's what it felt like to me. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have any out there. There's definitely that. But it's also at night time I don't have any fucking faith must be not performing either man there's that but it's also at night there's something about

47:02 that's when I write my best shit too What if this? a letter like that where a one world leader is shit not another world leader Well, whoever that person is. There's a T on the end there. Whenever anything goes wrong, they cover everything up. No one knows what to do. And if we give in to that kind of surveillance over here, there's a real dark end to all that stuff.

49:37 And that's the whole reason why the United States is so innovative. There's so much innovation done over here. And that's, it's important. And how much he would get shit on. country just kind of like said all right we're gonna go with joe biden regardless of how lucid And Joe was kind of, it felt like he represents home. He's an old dude with dementia.

52:49 Well, that's what I'm saying. It's just gaslighting. He doesn't believe a goddamn word he's saying. the job. There's no way he can i wish like i say man like when you're and when you're in a nightclub you don't care how stuff's But to be in charge of everybody else, you don't have to. know what i mean i wish he could just take the thing is that's who he's always been that's my

55:26 And so I feel like, so what I'm saying is, because she forgot the words. So did Obama, but look how old he got. Trump hasn't aged, man. Right, but if Biden starts He said a woman of color for the Supreme Court. Or should he pick the best person? woman of color and the best for this country could also be a woman of color is what I just said. I feel like, what did Chelsea Handler say when she did her whole thing?

58:22 I've watched how she just puts things in context, and she is very smart and very sharp, No. She obviously was for two terms, she was the first lady. I don't know. can't do it all at once. And then they had the clip of the fracking protest, and he was like, go vote for somebody else, man. type thing. him talk on the campaign trail. He does sold-out arenas, and he kills.

1:00:59 I would love for— Yeah, it's bad in those ways. They even told us he was in a bunker, but just in case anything happens. while he's making the decisions to blow up these countries. apparently and if they pick someone and i'm sure they're grooming someone right now who you get Maybe 20 years ago, but not now. was closed down. What can I do? What can I do? What can I do? And he just goes, you know,

1:04:20 And he's like, man, let me come and do these. a woman who has one of them pink pussy hats Yeah, yeah, that was so funny. It probably saved thousands of lives. I just heard. But they did. many surfaced here made it over to America. But that's imposed restrictions. So what kind of Have you seen all the shit that points to the fact that this came from a lab?

1:07:11 Well, they were working on why they think China immediately like this is not a disease that came from nature no this is a disease that came from a lab did you Man, they knew this stuff was happening. I know. You know who's doing it well? Bill Maher has some great fucking rants. His fucking shit has been great. I appreciate him right rational I watch, no, because I watch some of his stuff.

1:10:20 But I love how he attacks it. here was always like a probationary experience it's also these blind spots that he just, his whole rant was really about stop these That was one of the examples that I used or like, you know SARS or MERS or some Middle Eastern respiratory didn't make that point the whole world's problem this whole world's's pandemic, but yeah, kinda, but it did

1:12:20 Okay, so this guy is It was not engineered. when they found the genetics for this virus, the bats that tested where this originated from, we're in the wheelhouse right there. nothing to see here. well the wet markets are fucking gross you know it is but that's also a sad thing about you're at all to California. Isn't that crazy? LA And it's like, sometimes.

1:14:39 They steal all the palm trees? Snap. Yeah. Dude, I love Hawaii. We're just going to sit tight and eat fish for a couple weeks. One of the best times of my life. Yeah. She was just like it's just a joke, okay? She should be sensitive about. so much danger and so much fucked up shit. I mean, at elite world-class level, The executioner mask. From them?

1:18:40 So he became the alien. I'm telling you. got a little older and a little slower Bernard and him fought twice they fought once and Roy Hands down, moving around. I would quit if I was Vinny. And the referee was like, keep fighting. Stop this guy. And you would see how out of shape people were in real time, like in the ring. Just be knocking these dudes.

1:21:47 We would do it every Thursday would just step up there Right. So when you talk about that guy didn't land a punch in it, god damn. And people forget. couldn't really figure out the details like no one remembers Jordan doc followed him for He's like, that's who I was. Put that on a t-shirt, man. There's people that get to those points. Who? Seriously?

1:24:32 Man, my kids are going to be like, over there thank you man excuse me I mean in a good way positive sorry you're tested positive, it seems like a bad. I tested negative. Excuse me. Oh, this is nice. Thank you, sir. out again i'll start feeding my ego that's self-awareness like a motherfucker like that's Owen that's a fact laughing at me Put it in. I just feel like, but I do want to, so when I make stuff for people sometimes I go how did you do that

1:28:02 yeah i could i could tell you what goes in it right now. You're like a chef in disguise. once and then i'll get so many ideas because i guarantee you i could take a recipe that you love My Aunt Sissy could bite a piece of dessert and be like, they didn't use cinnamon. And when I watched that show and his enthusiasm and passion for great chefs and great cuisine.

1:30:12 an art form it's like oh yeah like drawing right like your son's three when your son draws yes what you did and then they started turning what was like an essential thing into an art experience See, hear. And so it is. And it tastes great or it looked great or whatever it is. Like, I went to Thailand for the first time ever last year. And it's like, oh, this is so recognizable as opposed to like Mexican food, which is

1:33:24 I did raw food. It was fantastic were you eating? I did raw food. And every meal has four things, a fat, an acid, a salt a salt and a sweet so even if you don't eat raw Of course. Tom's got the best ones, I think. Because salt by itself is okay. Like, what an impact. I've been addicted to those for years. But I know there's all kinds of spices in here that I don't need.

1:35:34 Look, see if you can read that. No, I mean the first one that's a little funny. Raw almonds are dope. Like, how many servings then. You're like whoa six grams of protein. Yeah. Yeah, it's good for you. Um, but you know, it's bad for the fucking environment Oh, they do? Somebody pointed that out. That's right. Move. and pro-Trump billboards, and oh my goodness.

1:38:12 You get a lot of religion. that those fuckers are a lot of those people are republican you got to wonder like maybe They think the Democrats want to hand out their money and take too much out of taxes. You just chose something that's a preposterous endeavor And you're going to have crazy loans. Some people would do it and they become very successful.

1:40:44 Well, it's like what else is more valuable? Our teachers. Why do we treat them that way? Exactly. Well, it's like, what else is more valuable? How do you do that? You need food. Okay. They literally bring you fruit and you give them paper and you get their fruit and it We pay them dog shit. I remember we said that in the house. I was like, oh, I got to get me a woman. Oh, shit. Everybody said that in the house.

1:41:53 I had one guy who was a Vietnam vet who was a heavy guy. inner city. We moved there from Florida Yeah, it was maybe eighth grade. He goes, just go outside and look up at space and realize how big it is. There's like two things that started happening when I was a kid. shit and then the two conclusions that I won there are no grown-ups it's not real That's how I'd make money.

1:44:49 And he couldn't get his shit together. But it was like, for me, it was important to realize that you could be a guy who was like a funny, nice guy that I really like, but also do the dumbest things possible and derail your life. Some of them, for sure, addiction is they're more inclined chemically. Every day. hanging over their head. Yeah, when you're single

1:47:08 fall apart. It wasn't that we disagreed even. She said to him, you have to get a gun. You know, all these Mad Max movies. I'm not going to help you get a gun. yeah you don't have to learn how to use a gun like i've taken several lessons many lessons now it together, right? We're not together all the way, but we're getting it together. Yeah. We're And this is a guy who's articulate and he's brilliant and he's a perfect statesman.

1:49:58 But. that's what I'm saying I don't mean it's bullshit like it's not a real thing. No, I'm not saying that racism is bullshit. No one has a stronger work ethic than a racist. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? How much are they making? Before that, the same thing happened to black folks too, though. What's his name? The Baltimore police detective that we had on michael woods that's right uh who was a he was a detective in baltimore or a police officer in

1:53:19 weren't a slave owner if you condone slavery if you were around in 1864 and you know like i think the you're asking people to do a way more difficult thing than if you so you only had to work for one person still and still get paid shitty wages yeah as opposed to like Native Americans hunting the buffalo and then I did read this book Empire of the Summer

1:55:55 So they would give them this land. They figured out horseback riding. And then you had to fill that bitch up, and it took forever. that's how they fired their rifles. The Comanches they did to other indians what they did to white settlers and it's all depicted in just dark, gory detail where you're like, oh my God. Yeah, that's fantastic. This guy hanging,

1:58:53 for being able to do that. And that was even They were ridiculously strong people. Oh, shoot. Oh, my God. Did you ever see that? That's hilarious. Maybe you shouldn't have opened a fucking gym. or judges. They want people Right. What place is this again? Like pizza. I know how to make that. But if I said that like that, God, that's going to be taken out of context.

2:01:39 And that pattern is lumping people into a category and not accepting the uniqueness of the individual. I don't care. ready that's a guy who could be president that's a guy who exhibits all This is my perspective. I'm all for that. He's a really nice guy. is important the way uh the standards of how we accept the leader of this great nation, the way he communicates,

2:05:07 People are ready to stab each other. DC. I was a Marvel guy. My was all about Marvel comics versus DC I was a Marvel guy my friends were DC wear glasses you know it's also It's natural. with a bunch of other assholes. We're still dependent upon two parties. It's a trap. I'm a moron, bro. Well, they have legal weed, or they tolerated weed long before us.

2:07:48 Did you tell me this story? I think I you last night on a white couch this is crazy i should say his name and i ain't gonna give him that platform that's a rough What's the alternative? But then is there also an argument for being objective about some of those stories that seem crazy, like guys coming back from the dead and walking on water and yeah when

2:09:42 that and um so that's how i i perceive it as, like, it's not a literal thing, Yeah. it's present dude what's it gonna be like going on stage when you haven't gone on stage in a month Eight months, but it called me back, and it was back in me. Do you know how crazy the comic store is going to be when this motherfucker opens up again? I talk to those people all the time, and it's been great.

2:12:09 so they got to see the trailer first, That's nice. Yeah. I don't know, man. like 10 years from now and don't be a dick. I would say I don't know about your immune system because that's kind of like your pelvis. Oh, yes. A fuck exercise But if she's like Right At all. I had a dehydrator. It's all in what you choose to believe about protein. Exactly.

2:15:01 have to have it on burgers. There's something about a study that was released on people who don't eat meat and the correlation The stress of the animal. Isn't that crazy? so to stretch it more people are drinking milk be able to pump it out quicker Don't see them fucking. It's not real. Yeah. crazy part but i get you feeling guilty and it's tough, man. It's tough to change your diet.

2:18:23 It's made of pea protein. I watched the other day in Australia. with their face they drag it into the water they eat it and swallow it and that's they're fucked Yeah, bro. It's crazy They don't have any idea of compassion. Because it wanted a pet. Every day I got to find one. We also like outlive all of those other things. Yeah. We heard, God dang it, dang it.

2:22:45 And then it just, I'm serious. Yeah. You know, the old brother where art thou type deal. He went missing. Nah, nah, nah. Well, the kind of guy that would be Yes. Yeah. is if confronted with real adversity, there to protect you and you get you gotta walk back to your car and you're wondering And I think most people believe they're going to do way better than they will.

2:26:40 If you got a guy with technique in front of you and you don't know how to box, you're fucked. Yeah. It was useless. That's it, though. 6'5". You have long-ass arms, dude. You would just have to go about it very technically. Like the best jujitsu players, the guys to learn from the best are the guys who are small because they're smaller, they have to

2:29:42 getting better and better at it. And then It can happen. drags you to the ground, you're a fucksville. get to a point like a guy like hicks and gracie or my instructor john jock manchato he can do that He was asked to describe jiu-jitsu. You're going to get tired. He's just going to control you. Here's how strong Jiu-Jitsu is. And he had this idea,

2:32:40 But she's So this guy, he was doomed. she did it with but it was like arm bars and triangles but again that would happen to any man like little ways to move around things and advance through these games and systems. You know, so I was super awkward in how to present myself and how to dress and how to act. thing you figure out too yeah is that it's not just and this is

2:35:47 And that shit takes, especially with a complicated bit, shit can take a long time to work out the details. but your bit about your son like when someone if we We know it's real. No comedy. We know it's real, but it still doesn can't go to restaurants. Everything's closed. No comedy. In the moment. listen to uh all things i think it was all things yeah i think it was something on npr

2:37:47 than white dudes There's something about, that real angry it's like anger radio it's like alt comics yeah yeah yeah like alt radio yeah dangerous conspiracy and here's why. I'm into it. Just talk normal voice. Yes. Yeah, for sure. All animals are equal. When they tell stories. Oh, yeah? What's up? NPR but it's something like that it's some kind of public radio cousins yeah

2:41:21 Right, pretending to be smart. It's a dirty lie. 20 years. They're all connected to him and they kept letting him go they want they were studying him There's more than 50 pages of references at the end of this book. I'm on chapter 11, 12, I think. He talked about it on the podcast. They just tried shit on people, man. Do you fuck with acid? Yo, man.

2:44:19 It's legal. isn't it funny what are they doing next year I wish I knew. It didn't sound like he was joking around. Callan will say jokes that sound like statements. Yeah. He does that all the time. You know? He mean? Like, Callan does a lot of that. Yeah, he tells you that. Callan will say jokes that sound like statements. I mean, like you said, though, too, because, like, what's next?

2:45:55 And that's not going to stop by the end of this year. if you do work out and all the things that we as a collective society should being there. Jesus. Right now everybody's sort of floating, right? got you high you'd have all the answers i do have i have some answers but what they need to do brother I'll give you money once we were back I like that

2:47:56 and give them there's an extra nice feeling. Like this is cool. Yeah, man. incredible act, but people don't know it. a comic what if somebody wants to what if a network wants to pick up notebooks should i do it with like but that's how absolutely then it works and then it continues and you keep people keep coming to your shows when everything's said and done, you know?

2:50:47 it's been fun man the notebooks take that name