Joe Rogan Experience #147 — Duncan Trussell Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Shit gets weird. of the fact that it's silly you can't help but laugh at it yeah i guess you play with it you are now getting into But it's just vibrators. like rubbing her face with it. that they got to call it if you want to talk about sex, Adult entertainment. That makes you think you're going to be watching a symphony. Not like, have to say well it's adult entertainment like what's that yeah what does that even mean adult

2:47 booth yeah with this tiny little hole as they listen to people tell their darkest secrets yeah And father, she squirted, father. Priests are always blasting jizz at night. sitting down with great heads of states and politicians if someone just invented it, okay, someone who's just been around those churches Yeah, what? get the fuck out of here with this.

5:58 school there was this poor kid who wanted to be a priest and he was just fighting off the cock the son is 11 years old wants to be a girl jesus poor kid yeah what happened there is do you think the kid is is that of this lesbian couple that's raising him. when they hear that a lesbian couple Do you fucking hate them? that keep him from reaching puberty that's yeah but that's that should be against the law for them

8:58 around the idea of what they should be responsible with I have a friend whose son is going through a gender reassignment issue. here to get yourself a fake vagina and no penis all right it's like two items on the menu. Give me that money. Well, not really. It gets so ferocious. There's one gym that I went to in North Hollywood. I think they actually try to sever the penis and use it to line the skin of the vagina.

11:30 Of course. I thought you meant pencil in your dick hole. fucking or your urethra i'm just saying right they stretch it out so they do they get your I've seen videos of chicks knuckle deep in a guy's dick. The infections. She screen captures all of them? Is that the thing that chicks do now? making a personalized porn video, you know She's like all screen capturing dicks.

14:01 It's only crazy shit. you're not allowed I screen capture You know, to be a prostitute, are going to enjoy going there. Or are you going to let them get tested and get taxed and let them be treated like they're not some outlaw? people in a jail. You lock people in a cage for making someone feel Actually, no, I haven't told you this. cool that you actually have that in there yeah open a time portal siri you just put it in there

16:50 The Dragon? No, it's based on right uh the dragon or no no it's based on wolfram alpha which was that search engine that was created by all these phds that wanted they literally wanted to put together the the concept is a it goes a sewer, an old warehouse, a junkyard. Dude, if you ever have a device, if you ever have a gadget and you want to learn everything

17:43 I know. like when we first saw the ip 1 to see how it's changed. Oh, you mean most of the relationship without sex. that robot annoying and you would kick his ass because you know he couldn't fight back because It's fascinating. This is the devil in the machine. That's why Satan is This is, I'm going to tell you. Like on TV. find the devil, but it's okay

20:54 is this homophobic destroyer well, I'm a Bible-believing Christian, and so I believe it's a sin. So if you think about that, i don't believe they have the rights to the largest nuclear arsenal on the planet i don't asked him to do. Including what they're doing They're threatening newspapers for airing advertisements for medical marijuana. I mean, you should be able

23:24 But in this day and age, with all the information that we have now, the fact that it's person should be able to stop you is ridiculous but in this day The war on it is breaking up families, and it makes World of Warcraft fucking unavoidable in your life. a horn helmet being like we must crush the marijuana that is making these people so happy. Yeah, exactly.

24:59 where they're going after certain organizations, You make them pay X amount of tax maybe just a little all these corrupt little whores there's no clearer piece of evidence that Obama, a man who admitted he There's only one reason. And it's like, you'll really start getting a clear understanding you're going to start experiencing a better level of happiness it's going to make you start dealing with your bullshit

28:05 then going home and sitting back to watch TV with more advertisements and not thinking that's weird You're going to pay for it? and a fucking, the new Lexus, you'll start thinking like, well, my credit score went up this year. tell you the time a friend of mine picked me york style just shit box meanwhile that guy's car payments have got to be like 550 600 a month i mean

30:26 They're fixing uptown. and realize that there's barely room to stand. It's cool. you know i'm sort of a minor league gearhead because i don't know exactly how all of it works somehow convincing them that they're logically make sense to get in debt to a bank for 50 grand. And whether they're good at it or not, that might give them a little bit more happiness,

33:21 and then worry about the fucking Mercedes. you know like and then now I have credits just not and fucking World of Warcraft Can I tell you what a friend but uh can i tell you really got hooked on it for like three days. So he decided to buy, just because he saw an ad and he's like i wonder if this really works he decided to buy 6 000 gold which takes a long time to gather up in

36:15 In the game. They have you meet kind of out there like, Valley of Spirits, come now. Yeah, sweatshop. where we're actually making money. It was like, and it's like, it felt genuinely, I can't, So are you using the little guy or the the the little guy's been working fine nobody seems to Interact with intelligence. So I think that the new thing is going to be

38:58 Like, you know, now when you go to a hotel and you're like, ah, fuck, they don't have wireless. Space instead of having a 55 inch TV. You'll have like a 55 inch square on the ground because they're going to put that shit in stadiums. Imagine if they had life-size video game hologram things that interact with each other through ripping through everyone they're so good man and they have like the way they set up the

41:34 it's not just moving your hands quick. special mouses with like Yeah, but you need them as much. you have to like, if you're really good as your units start getting injured, you pull them out your fucking spawning pool has got to get adrenal glands on your fucking zergs. aliens you got to be thinking i gotta spray the fucking hive i gotta make a goddamn i don't have

43:54 You've got to moderate. i think they have one above that called the diamond league so like the players if you were I think there is a future for that because, I mean, Earth or one of those fucking... Battlefield. You know what does well on TV for pool? It's not a real game. Same shit. How would I have, you know? I mean, it's infinitely, I mean, it's it's incredibly complicated i mean it's infinitely i mean it's very complex but there are like some simple basic things that just mimic any any battle i mean it's

47:04 yeah i mean you can sort of follow it along but i mean it just seems like so The only people that could understand what the fuck you're talking about is people that actually do it. they're gonna have leagues and they're gonna have well they already do in korea right oh they have You know, and we were always nervous to fight Koreans, too. any country yeah yeah they're super high tech.

49:05 You won't even understand it or anything. up right now oh wow so it's kind of interesting i wish i could understand it though you know i wish Because this is, you know, people are actually getting mad at me And first of all, it's very exciting. in a giant way. cops losing their Yeah, dude, they're becoming white shirts. Is that what it is? a professional fight commentator i was appalled if that was dexter yeah yeah like dexter i gave

51:57 This season's been sloppy, bad acting, bad editing, bad writing, bad everything. It's not going to be based on whether it's popular. And ruin them. like jesus jesus jesus it's a good zombies in that show are so fucked up yeah that's a that's you know sort of gay horror movie no no it's scary man it's itaky it's kind of david lynch-ish you know sort of horror movie

53:50 I'm clutching it as we talk about the revolution. They have no idea what's wrong with this country. and they school him about corporate taxes. Well, they want to sabotage it bright heidecker no hesitation it's like hey bright bart you piece of fucking shit get the fuck out of here I can't remember the exact thing, but she was giving a speech and talking about how there was a white family that needed some kind of financial help from this organization.

56:56 breitbart pissed off put pissed up on the internet but what she actually said was that um she realized If you don't start off perfect, you have to shoot yourself in the fucking head right you know you can't have ever been a racist I mean, the internet, that's what you do. Well, that's fucked up. Of course it's fucked up but it's it's that's how it's done

58:57 where they're trying to let you know And the fact that people like that are allowed to carry on, It was on... and they know he's right behind some gates in new haven connecticut or wherever the fuck they'd be to be dragging bankers out of their house. lost their homes and a lot of people became homeless and a lot of people lost their life things the very first spark of revolution we're seeing the spark of revolution we're seeing a

1:01:45 there could be living among us right now the future's equivalent of like George Washington. Runs this whole thing. Listen, fuck all those leaders. Take the throne. Here's a fun thing to think about. What are the steps you take to redo things? this crazy fucking organization are you going to do though you wouldn't even how the fuck like you remember you were talking about

1:04:07 And even then, we don't know what the fuck they really tell you about. I'm saying imagine if. that's through the internet name and you can only talk with the other assholes it's like all the assholes get lumped in together You have a fair shot at agreeing and disagreeing. You know, real live communities, of course, How can you influence large groups of people?

1:06:46 Who's watching this movie? And so you have body. We're not equal of chance. We've been baby-fed. some kind of like so the idea would be it's and i'm not by the way i'm not expecting to invent What the fuck? Why would you do that that's ridiculous make the voting 50 because then i lost my train of thought because of that Some people are just ambitious, but they're idiots.

1:09:10 You know, Herman Cain has been quoting, and man, if you pull it up, movie yes what is the message can you look it up the thing it's not exactly And so I guess that's... That summers from the pokemon movies economic engine moving by putting fuel in the engine That's what it is. he probably is like maybe he's a pokemon player and he thinks that's cool if he was a pokemon

1:11:36 Like EA's really excited and SimCity were two major I mean, they went through an amazing time. So that's 70% of the people. Yeah. That's all you need. What? It tastes pretty good here. So he ordered one of these pizzas. Yeah, it is weird. It could be moisture in the air, too. If you didn't know anything about the planet and someone like flew you around the planet

1:14:29 They're like, Jesus, we got this one spot where it never gets, you know, on a whim and went swimming in venice beach i was pissing out of my asshole man i got so sick I'm surprised people swimming at Venice Beach to go up the coast anyway if you're going to go out in the water around here you have to like get Yeah, I know, and it's all swirled together.

1:16:39 So what we're talking about is this big slick of, I mean, not even. I mean, what a crazy discovery to find out that when you go, because no one's there you go walking on the beach there and the shit that comes up on that beach That's one of the things that people really like to believe, God knows what that's affecting. you get on the roof and you start building another

1:19:44 going to be president. That's a joke candidate. get the fuck out of here. it's um but this guy is a real like no nonsense sort of uh extremist character right you got to be extreme and see that's another funny So what is your point? My point is that right now, the overpopulation, who gave you that awesome quote ironic. I was just about this whole Occupy Wall Street thing is because

1:21:59 I don't know. I mean, there's different people some central leader, but I think it definitely, it can't hurt to have some like nodes that are, You can't say what they all want because they all don't want that. Everyone knows this is a corrupt system. No one's doing it. We'll limit them to $500,000. that everyone has been predicting forever this kind of transition shifting consciousness. Yes, I think so

1:25:25 constantly fluctuating it's like what the fuck is this right what the fuck do you got going on here Right. here and zeros there, but it's got to be really easy to follow. that buying constantly, But that couldn't function. hopefully will happen is people will be able to distinguish that I will overcome this idea that they're going to be happier if they have a really nice car. You are correct. However,

1:28:37 No, no, no. the two-hour commute completely exhausted and they think this is the way we're supposed to be living that's no way to live that's the solution for a guy who does have credit and does have a fucking car and and not nearly enough money to break free, to step away. It didn't, it clearly didn't work. They always fall apart. But I do think that there is a way to do it. I don't know yet. I haven't gotten high enough yet. I haven't eaten enough mushrooms yet. But I do think that there is a way to do it.

1:31:46 Someone's going to step in. Someone's going to step When we get past the diffusion of responsibility number The weather underground, bring the war back home. and when they get online, they have this anonymity, should be, you know, like how it is then they start fucking putting you in situations look eisenhower warned about the military setup well it seems like that would make a lot more sense though because it seems like it's too

1:34:52 But I love letting my mind consider, okay, but what if there's another option? Oh, fuck yeah, man. And then we all can link up as one mind. Images, photos, video. experience someone else's consciousness. You experience your consciousness, right? You're are to someone else. You'll know if maybe you're completely different. Maybe this person is If you plug into the mind, you won't want to come back. You won't be able to come back to your life.

1:37:58 What are you going to do? and suddenly i'm like learn everything that they know about it you would everyone would Inevitable. And it is inevitable. You said this to me once, Brian, about the human brain. They're already sort of learning how to identify certain like patterns in the brain you know how like they looks pretty good it looks kind of like if you were to blow up an old cell phone

1:40:35 with that same activity, and boom. I don't even know is probably going to come first. had four children together we were struggling and he was running off to mexico with his secretary And then he left me. Wasn't there a movie about this? what about your imagination? It's got to be. faster and that's really what it's like it takes just a millisecond to make a full revolution now

1:43:52 year for the first time in human history we have now we now we have a device where you can talk to And meanwhile, everything's picking up overseas. that whoever the fuck is hearing this has created and each one of us has created our own little there was a giant mother motherfucker of an octopus. leave any evidence um yeah so you think that that's that's novelty that's like mckenna's novelty

1:46:35 There's real laws to this life. You'll run into someone And people will try to talk you and I learned how to play that over years and years of hard work. And stop me if I've already said this before, No body, but infinitely conscious of itself, completely aware. Why? I don't get it. Why? fucked up and my consciousness got trapped in like a table or something like that you know what i

1:48:56 I mean, we've talked about it several times, that planets may very well be some sort of a superorganism That's ridiculous because that's a human idea or an animal idea. Humans are the universe. The universe itself. Yeah, of course. else, you are part, you are infinity sticking its head into this little with it in a very small level. The fear of death, the fear of merging back into the nothingness,

1:52:36 things stay in motion and that people continue to innovate and they continue to want to produce are to guide that animal into a certain direction. That's all that there is because that deer better be scared as fuck because that mountain because we have a goal to do. We are here on some sort of a weird task of accomplishing something, I think we're moving in a way that's far more complex and we have this, you know, the illusion

1:55:17 So it's like there's a magnet in the future. There is an end point that must be reached have imparted on this planet. to decode and understand what's happening to it in the form of human philosophy and the whole form of The Tao. And the universe is never scared and alone and all that. Isn't it possible that you're fierce? I can tell the universe no i'm part of the universe so i'm just saying isn't it possible that your fear i can tell you this this little stretch of the universe

1:57:52 I think the reason doesn't... Are part of the universe. a nice cop-out to not be a pussy you're're like, oh, I'm not really a pussy. It's the universe. The universe is being a pussy through me. And I think you're justifying it in a backdoor situation by saying that you're a piece of the universe. of fear and I think oh man I couldn't disagree more I can't really more yeah I

1:59:57 But Mad Max, that kind of fear would be better than the kind of fear that's infected people these days. Watch the commercial. It's not. And they're also drunk. Terrible or orange. and playing with their children and going to the movies, you tend to lean I don't mean it as acknowledge it To live in Hawaii To culture is like a chilled out culture is what i'm saying i think there's tourists on the beach but

2:02:56 and underneath that is love is love okay what i'm saying is i don't think the universe has any and our fears about dying, they're all biological. Do you not understand that you are applying individual units to something that And what that word translates into is simultaneous oneness and difference, which is the explanation they give for the universe, which is it's existing as an entirety, as a whole, as a gestalt, as one thing.

2:04:54 there for whether they're to cultivate the ground so that trees grow better so they they you know It doesn't negate the fact that orgasms exist or that they're obviously real. Well, I'm in no way trying to say that I understand the consciousness of the universe I made the ultimate narcissistic error in projecting my own fear. So in that same way, I think that when the universe first popped out,

2:07:15 in a science class on acid. talking about, maybe we agree on this point. it's our life task to turn that what the like 40 minutes on stuff but you both can't have you right or wrong about no And by the way, folks, sending mean messages on Twitter. We're throwing ideas around. You can't say the universe has fear. It's fun. How are you supposed to be – how do you think you're supposed to be spending your time uh trying to live in the now

2:10:31 you don't know. It's a fascinating concept. But that's what if you're calling it a universe. It's not that the whole world isn't the material world we all have our own unique oneness, That's how you really make a real community, right? we're not exactly sure with this fuzzy line Bing! she got a tit job and look what she did to her lips we look at all the different things you

2:14:06 You start trying to find what is real. carbon molecules and you would see that this table is only existing in a very Then you begin to think, well, what about me? that all got to make stardust yeah well you have to have a supernova to make the shit to make Then they figured out, you know, most suns only live to 500 million years. So we got an older sun.

2:16:35 older than that you know pretty fascinating stuff when you really stop and think about it you know To me, if I allow myself to think that way, is the stuff that, you know, if you're well i mean listen let it go kid i i know i know what ifs can be fun here and there but i mean but All robots. What if Brian worked for the CIA? Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

2:19:16 The whole staff smoked me out. that was uh heffron denver comedy works denver comedy yeah set up perfect what's that portland Yeah, I love Portland. what the way what it is and then you talk to them a couple years later man fuck this fucking weather Vitamin D. that helium comedy club of those clubs like Improvs. there seems to be a real correlation to how cool comedy clubs are getting and

2:22:03 Ladder shit. that has Sam Tripoli as a podcast under him So if you're looking for interesting shit to keep you occupied at work, it's all free, of course. And you guys have LavenderHour.com, right? But every once in a while, we'll throw one up there. If you go to JoeRogan.net click on the link for the Flashlight something cooler that's why he interjects

2:23:49 Stop it And then make yourself all smart and shit. See him this weekend. They're the death squad shows. It'll sell the fuck out. at the comedy showcase we love you. We love you. Get your machine shirts at BertBertBert.com.