Joe Rogan Experience #1471 — Tony Hinchcliffe Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Three, two, one. Yes. one of them that i thought that was hilarious it said soft martial arts yeah it did said tai chi I think it's very beneficial. If you're throwing a baseball, you're basically shaking hands. You're going to throw it and go pick it up? Are they talking about crabbing like crab walk? Not here, but in Northern California, it's a big deal.

2:27 like those guys love crabbing. Oh, you can explore rock pools. You can't have a cart. Wipe it down. Right, but they have it at the supermarket. down yet there's a lot more we missed uh go back up so yeah so we were at no-cart golf, hiking, trails, paths allowing distancing. Are the trails open? Oh, we're allowed to meditate. Picnics with your stay-at-home household members only.

5:11 Go back. I'm pretty sure. apartment and you can go on the beach and just spark up a little and just throw some combinations So what is it? doing the best shit to do when you're in war with a person, hand-to-hand combat. And he was a bad motherfucker. But I thought, God, that's so useless. I had to fuck my knee up, and I didn't get it fixed for like six months.

8:28 Wow. it just uh it wasn't it wasn't the same once that legendary gym was gone but that was those were one He writes, look, see, do. I look at people do something. Opens up on a legend. Just wild, man. Without anyone's a real they would release and just they would make it look like it was nothing the other guys wrestling ben askren who manhandles most people yep and they all know what he's gonna do they all know

12:45 So they might dip a little bit in their wrestling ability to pick up some skill in striking. Yes, very good striker. I just kick the fuck out of your legs. It's a style of fighting. own style like I definitely was however I can beat you that's what they's trying to take you down. He's smashing you on the ground. He strangles you if he can. Like, however I can beat you.

14:27 We just collectively decide that they're too destructive. Oh my God. Nuts exploded from a kick. Your nuts are not designed. There's a lot of kicks that'll blast through two nuts. The ju of judo and jujitsu is soft so it's uh like not uh that's silly and I'm not a judo expert, obviously, Hector Lombard, when he was doing judo, was a motherfucker. head and grabbing you by your clothes.

17:38 level throw on someone who's also an expert in high level throws it's amazing but it's also very hard with a chimpanzee going over this list Wow. Just, you know, that list is silly. Anybody who writes a list like that? You can get close, I think. Here's the thing. other's cooties. You might as well just make out. They give each other a kiss and they try to swat that ball down.

20:25 If there was a movie. You guys peek up together and imagine if that's all it took to turn you gay. If there was a move. face and you go unconscious Pop. Of course he's going to make a movie in space. If you look at it that way... Watch. They hit the sand volleyball injury bro he does all his own stunts too. Like motorcycle stunts. He's probably hurt all the time.

22:37 What is he doing there? dude and he's actually hanging off the edge of this. Look at this. Watch. He lets his legs go and everything. You can see it. What are you seeing? But still, that's him. He's like a huge movie star what kind of insurance and then his sister comes in. I'd love that. Right? yeah i think you're right i feel like he died during the process right yeah that was a bummer

25:53 There must have been demons. Done by the- I know those movies are silly. I forgot about that one. read the scripts that they're offered which is a really fun vampire movie Show me. as the cop in The Outsider. Like that whole cast, the guy who was her boyfriend in that, who was also from House of Cards, that guy's amazing. What is her name? perfect frequency you know some people can play a psycho and you're like god damn that seems psycho

28:55 She scares the fuck out of me. She scares me more than the Navarro guy does. Just go to cast. Yes, that's the lady. God damn it. Yeah. i just graduated high school and i was out here visiting my brother and we got lost we were in which way to get back down. But he didn't say anything. In retrospect, if anybody did that to me or anyone I know, we would do the same.

32:42 Watch this video. Give me some volume. See, that is so stupid. He's like Theo in a lot of ways. nervous around sebastian he's one of the only people. I'm more comfortable around Chappelle than I am around Sebastian. What the f- So somebody tells me, hey, I heard Sebastian's house got robbed. Whoa. With the guy and he's fighting with this home invader guy.

35:57 and apparently he practices martial arts. think that it was Sebastian Maniscalco well Jesus Christ. under an Illinois statute that allows You don't want to hear that story, because that story is a pro-gun story. right it's not a privilege you know we own we own this. And the media definitely doesn't You know what I'm saying? Which is interesting. It would be an anti-gun story if he didn't have a gun that's

39:37 I mean he he has videos of him practicing shooting with pistols of marksman Being a person is weird. I'm like, well, if we just open up the country, we're going to lose a lot of people. Like, you know, like being a person. all the bad news from seven billion people plus around the world it's got a lot of it's gonna When this guy has this show, and that guy

42:17 Is it things that went wrong? It does control a lot of how the people who watch it It's hard to trust anybody. Like, there's so many things that are bouncing around in sort of the global consciousness that you have to pay attention to. Yeah. Like you said, they're smashing it all into an hour, even though it keeps running. all the time. I'm like, hey bro,

45:26 Like, that was his thing. Yeah. He's the guy that has a monologue where everybody's standing around going, He was a fucking wizard, man. where i'm like i'm just gonna throw this on i heard it wasn't that great oh and i was up the because i thought it was why'd they say it was bad what were they saying was bad about it Oh, wow. dark the truman show was a good one that's a good one yeah yeah that was a real good one that is

48:38 Oh, wow. Joe Exotic please God Come on, Trump. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's probably 15, 20 years old. That's a fun fucking movie. I can't wait to see that. Hire a good lawyer. He's like a gay guy and a homophobe at the same time. Yeah. I don't think he really, really knows. conveniently left him, And she, oh, she has like 100 tigers. Like a Conan movie.

52:39 Wolves definitely do. huge now. It's a reality Like they don't have a way of distancing the tigers. Maybe they just carry it and it doesn't affect them. One of them was about, I think it was a meatpacking plant, Yes, that's exactly where it is. right that's possible that's totally possible that's totally possible yeah you gotta take that When you look at something as that wild, like all of you,

55:38 And the other one was prisoners. So I was thinking about this, and God, I forget who I was talking to this about this. So because you don't use it, it's weak. As long as you're getting enough nutrition, they probably have to feed them some sort of balanced diets, right? That's weird. You don't get nothing. and they'd seen too much and by the time you get to them they're all up you know they're

58:46 They don't want – and it's almost like with some humans, the abuse that life throws at us from the time you're young, abusive to me when someone's abusive to you and then all of a sudden you find yourself you're 32 That's hard. Yeah, but with people the crazy thing is sometimes they can do it sometimes you can get a guy who's 32 hooked on heroin fucking hard to run 100 miles well it's fucking hard to get your life together too both things

1:02:09 One mile. Especially like meatballs. All I want is pictures. so they have like multiple butcher shops and i was going to um i was going to different ones when the same like meat or cut or whatever they do or how they do it was the same thing so what are you It comes out fucking good now. So you're like getting deep into this shit. slim and beautiful and yet you eat pasta all day i mean if they only knew how much pasta i eat so

1:04:57 when I take down more than you. him i'm serious if the food keeps coming he's gonna keep eating yeah if it doesn't cost anything Ari just eats. We're staring at him. Yeah. see for me it's totally the opposite yeah for whatever reason like when i i love pasta too man Wow. Like a real piece of spaghetti. It's so good, dude. The sauce and some of them you cook longer in the sauce and some of them you don't see this resonates with everybody

1:08:35 Yeah. Because that's really difficult to do and is now healthier? she's like really slim and people are mad and saying this is what they're saying, I don't want her to be applauded for losing weight It's that simple. You can't decide that the way you look is what everybody should like. That beauty standards. You can't do that. You can't decide that the way you look is what everybody should like.

1:11:07 It's not fair. We were just talking about it. That's not a shame. That's fine too. Because then they're more part of just a smaller group. Of course. just a physical thing. That's a part of, and we're only talking about attractive, like sexual They're attracted to people that have the strength to get up at six o'clock in the morning, But when a giant chunk of people are into this one thing, like nice bodies, it doesn't mean that

1:14:41 pretty good. Don't get me wrong. Still look great. with a woman Right? Because she had that operatic, right? during sex oh okay yeah or what I like, you're supposed to like. a wrestling evangelist you're always trying to get people to watch pro wrestling. I don't think it's for everybody, The girls wrestling. Cinematic. Well, she's a pro. There's so much shit.

1:18:31 Oh, they were all going crazy over WrestleMania. was like this is crap this is the worst Yep. the Irishman bad, made it better for me If you're into a dramatic thriller where you don't know where the fuck they're going, that Like who are we listening to? was making a text to him, and he was making a text to her and they would see the dot dot dots dot dot dots

1:20:40 anybody to know what I'm texting Why are you texting me here? I couldn't find it. Yeah, you can shut it off, but sometimes it turns itself on again. Oh. Yeah, but when you do get a green bubble it's very wise because all text used to be green and then they realized blue looks better That's why they like it. woman remember that bit that i used to do i read that's how i read them. You can connect your phone.

1:23:45 which is something different. Lock into the matrix. This is a potential. contact, so you're getting more and more addicted to your TV and your phone, more and more addicted Can't give that up, folks. This Friday. covering when you go out there on the trails. that there's, you know, we joked around about it before, He said he got a ticket for being on that trail.

1:26:38 Wow. Stage three, high-risk businesses, That might be us. We want theaters. Also, Ohio's just passed a law It sucks. which is really interesting because I wonder if as it went through Europe, it got worse. Is that confirmed or is that just speculative? They're kind of opened up. It's nothing like New York. There's only so much air in that room. So many people.

1:30:47 It's most likely that it was probably in December. Wow. and there's some concern that even when they come up with a vaccine, No, it's the actual toe-toe. make it doesn't seem like anything else maybe it's just like we just haven't been paying attention to Like, you would have never believed that. Like maybe this is the cause. And it almost feels like like we're living like people lived in the past where you get your your information piecemeal.

1:34:09 Yes. Yeah. instantly when I see something like this, you know, of course, instantly, That guy does not look like the guy Everybody's getting shot. Is that what happened? Because if he does, if this super smart guy has figured something out about the structure of this virus and I've read it in books. And he breaks down interrogation videos. And I went and I blasted through this stuff.

1:37:04 and how they get people and how Well, you know what that's probably like? Wow. is that And then they ended up finding out more and more and more that she could have It's like a steaming teapot. What is it? Stephanie Lazarus. And the guy's name was John Hover. Yeah. I think it was in New Jersey. Police say a man found a decomposed body in his dead mother's freezer

1:41:41 never gave permission for work to be done in the Hamilton Heights apartment. No smell. she had a fucking she's a free woman fell off the top shelf All right. If you write for your mother, your mother would be a world-class traveling stand-up. She was killing. And leave spaces in between the jokes. of a large crowd. Total makes sense. a wonderful voice or you you're really good with the musical instrument. Yeah, that is weird. It's fucking real weird.

1:45:10 and someone, unfortunately, leaves a microphone, From then on, you get brought into human resources on Monday. you. at one and it's probably a good thing because it's complete chaos it's beyond like they could because obviously the comedy store has no has now would be eight to twelve weeks look, it's hard Because you never thought it could be taken away from you.

1:48:34 Yeah, they wanted 200 people or less. this just just seems too it seemed like a storm was coming it It was. It was changing by the hour. I was in constant negotiations with the comedy store. and I'm like great well how about you just let because they're like no we're closing the main room to quarantine It would have been a great story. We did like a Q&A session in the empty ice house.

1:51:03 enough to let them if they knew there was a good supply of it. I think that's another one that the news wants us to think that you can catch it again. doctor, most professionals are saying you can't get it twice. Those lucky numbers, I take it to the bank. Yeah. the relationship we have with China right now And it's a special kind, right? a big deal of it

1:53:46 what the fuck, dude? Imagine if it didn't start in the lab but imagine the lab is just right there What if someone is selling the bats after they do experiments with them? and it just hung there with all the other bats This is $25 with a bat and the one person that bought it liked bat sushi the rest is history How much do you have left after you buy a bat for dinner?

1:56:19 So let's see if we can find this out. That's the other thing. fucking thing they can eat that's going to give them some protein yeah they're not just eating Well, what they didn't understand, for whatever fucking reason, That is bat shit crazy. Because that stuff is valuable. Yeah. Dude, classic. And he's shooting cans into the trash can and he hits Chubbs' wooden hand out into the street.

1:59:49 You know, I'm not really that much into comedy movies now that I'm grown up. Yeah. fairly and i go you know because it like came up somehow kingpin came up and i go you know i think anyone that I've ever worked with has done. You know Steve And then one time I worked for him and he's telling me that Drew Carey had him on his TV show. Really fucking good actor.

2:02:13 I was there with Steve Schripp. Pick it up, you fucking slob. Dobon of a menu? for wild in its Wow. Bull testicles, $12. popular in big cities. Scary. Journalists, you know that yeah let me ask you this journalists you know they don't even like hide it. It's like they could make it look like it's a suicide. and then they just give it to you in a bag?

2:05:59 That's bad heads? actually be contributing to getting rid of the pythons that are filling the the whole everglades All the deer are missing. serpents. And so people are catching you piece of shit. any sense like it's okay to eat meat it's okay to wear leather cows seem super peaceful snakes They make cobra condoms? It's all just a tube A bolt gun? Oh, God, does that sound like fun.

2:09:16 Humane? Like when people leave a python in a room with their baby, those horror stories, I've read a bunch of those. Bro. that like aren't even threatening like i get scared of like squirrels and whatnot if they I guess they must get fed a lot or something Anyway, it ended up across the end of the hallway and it was just sort of hanging out. no no i had not just watched the joker but I did watch that. But you're scared of

2:11:59 there once and watching this old dude on his and they apparently had some sort of a—they'd been doing it so often. if you haven't seen this this is the most when the monkey grabs the kid because he's like ha ha you know like he's like here what does it say there in india agra yeah oh my god the latest warning sign that primates are like where the fuck is everybody where's all the food bro it's crazy watch this crazy it's so weird

2:14:57 Oh, fuck. Like, they're smart and they're sneaky. For sure, they're going to kill babies and eat babies. Yeah. Imagine if that's what it is. And they evolve. that real to me it seems like as many people as i know i should know more and i'm asking people Do they know how they got it? Just from hanging out or traveling? Probably not much sleep. It was like my good deed that I was doing.

2:19:08 you know? And it was stupid of me. And I wasn't even able to get her on the Wi-Fi. Pasta. Oh, yeah, I remember that time. It's a mess. And. It's a mess. I smell a rat. But no, there are a few studies, and I read one very early on in this, that say nicotine is of assistance. Hell yeah, it does. count the whole thing so bad because i was a wreck and i was like where is he spitting and

2:21:59 Yeah, it was nothing. Yeah. If I ever find out I have a month or two to live, it's almost like when you're dying of cancer? Pat. Yeah, that's one where I literally thought of you during this last one and I'm like never out of everything I've ever watched Those are always really interesting. you think about all the people that are playing basketball,

2:24:57 Whatever it is. They throw coins against a wall and he's gambling with the security guards. everything that I'm gathering from this documentary is that if you're a super soup I mean I mean not just a regular winner but just a super winner he's so off the charts as far as like to be that kind Yeah. Okay. Wow. That's crazy. Are you ready? charity it might be that's what it's sounding like. Holy shit, you're right.

2:28:18 Just look at that. But that wasn't the case with Evander. The way the guy worked out was insane. and the direction he was taking so he would know how tired he should be which was true, to see him play. 60 points or whatever in your face like embarrasses you you fall on the ground he crosses you over he And Kobe's this 18-year-old that just went straight from high school to the NBA,

2:31:55 after me, right? Like he's going to want me. So let me have them, blah, blah, blah, blah. Cause They go deep into it, which is interesting, so they said interesting makes sense well that's what happens when you become you watch an NBA game and all the thought that's involved in which way you're going and the ability to explode and then the ability to, in the middle of all that, land a precision shot into a hole.

2:33:53 In all this chaos, you've got to find the ability to stop And you have to have mad practice. in the locker room he would just be like, he said It's crazy how, you know, I've always said, If you set your location, and I set my location for somewhere else. And then I go on Netflix and no commercials. It's supposedly not even done yet. I don't know. Right.

2:37:39 And they really fucking bully him. He's just insane. You got like two years, then you got to turn in your AR-15s. Just because they're not legal doesn't mean they're not going to do an illegal thing. They're going to bring guns into Canada. it's going to happen but only the criminals You can't look at things the way you want them to be. Or should this be a part of the Bill of Rights where this is how we are and this is how this country was established?

2:40:34 The gun problem is that the mentally ill people get the guns. If we take away the guns, if we have the guns, Why would that be necessary? Does that make sense? applies to what we're talking about if i mentioned ava braun didn't have to go to the bunker to die with hitler and this person said that she did it because she knew that by doing that against

2:43:10 Dude. He was snuck out of the country in a submarine or some shit, and they brought him to South grandpa back in fucking buchenhoff or wherever those places are yeah auschwitz what is it what I mean, they have Oktoberfest there where they're all German and they're all drinking beer and wearing lederhosen and shit. But they didn't think they were going to march 24 hours.

2:45:20 through the forest and trees build their own path and they snuck up behind both of the other sides of their other armies. They had radio, though. They had radio you get you'd get your radio reports from the front lines in I can't wait to get back to my wife. Yeah, I know. I'm going to get back to my wife. When the Russians are literally in Berlin, like they're coming in full of hundreds, thousands of tanks and all of this,

2:47:33 Children. It wasn't even 100 years ago. That's, I mean, when people think about war today, a soldier who's served overseas, our experience is almost like abstract, right? Like we know it with how many moving pieces are on the table and how all this can go wrong at any time and how Well, that was our stairway to heaven, this is something we're going to do like we did in Desert Storm.

2:50:41 Like, is that what the world we're dealing with is? bottom line is we're going to need to keep these bases. We need to keep this military presence. No. You know that? That's where the Nordic track came from. You do cross country. Remember that one where his cables and he's going, he pulls them down, his body goes up Him and Christie Brinkley hanging on, still sexy at an elevated age.

2:53:11 it used to be it started off called the nordic jock which is uh i was trying to see where that I thought it would come up. Chuck Norris, looking good. That's what she used it for 14 years. Yeah. Wow. There's a picture of J-Lo. And just hang in there. Probably not. Oh my god. That's insanity. Get her fucking shit together. Tony Henscliff always a pleasure my brother

2:56:23 I'm also starting also starting a uh a I'm gonna have you know Yeah. And also I'm showing instagram or your twitter it's about to be i have all this stuff i just haven't uh released it yet