Joe Rogan Experience #1473 — Tom Papa Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Okay. Yeah, but at the same time, they're opening up businesses, right? And I don't think it's true. So this is just LA? So it was a suggestion. More than New York? Yeah. And he lives in New York. And he said Staten Island had the highest number. Mm-hmm. Yeah, 98%. you're probably stressed out and you're getting bad food. You're in a wonderful community in Brentwood.

4:01 Yeah, for sure. And all of a sudden it gets called to go to work and it's just like, dude, what? Yeah. I mean, I did a thing with, really, just like people spouting off. I know. And it doesn't – I don't think it's going to be – as I'm stammering at the realization of it. You can't hang out on your towel. Canopies, coolers, or picnicking. Yeah, so you can go down, you can swim, you can ride the waves, and then get out of the ocean and get back in your car.

6:30 No volleyball? Yeah, you're basically saying this is my area of the sand These people come down there God. Social distancing. That's a start. I think we need to move And this is what Michael Yeo's doctor told him, and he survived. it's horrible yeah so like if you if we hadn't done these things what would have It goes through the same amount of time, but just you have a lot more fatalities, you know.

9:40 And you can see where people are coming out on it. Yeah, no, I know what you're saying. No, right. You know. Well, that's what Fauci is saying about the fall. Basically saying what you're doing is a violation of civil liberties. I mean, you want people to be safe, but you also are looking at the books every day and realizing that your state is in need of a trillion dollars to survive.

12:14 Their business is just never going to make it. It's also when you start telling people what to do, it's very difficult to stop. You can do soft martial arts. Right. One thing that I do like about the fact that we are the United States of America is that different states do have different approaches and we get to watch how that experiment plays out.

14:14 Prohibited. Sunbathing, High fives all around. Yeah. There are experts that understand. I'm with you 100%. It's good. How do you get better at bread? You're agreeing, but. Don't spit in my area. That's so crazy. I'm fishing. But the other part of the United States of America, and then we all get to make our own I read it on Twitter. fucking march it's not that early man i know but that's when they were saying no mask because they

18:14 Who's in your car blowing germs in your face? it'll stem the flow a little bit. I can't wait for the first time someone robs something and they've all got their mask on. I'm trying not to touch my face with all this stuff. Yeah. Put up a list of how important it is to take vitamin C. Take all sorts of things that have proven to be very good for your immune system.

19:45 It's not going to be better in July. Yes. And it was a two year thing before it just, you know, went through the population and eventually died out. Right. It doesn't even get you high. in fact, more people than not, are asymptomatic. You need to. Do I? Yeah, it's so good I like with. Ah, that's good. Yeah. I drops. It's just great for people with arthritis

22:06 body. in likelihood of death when you're older, Yeah. Imagine being fat as fuck and you're like, God damn, I wish I had a little warning. Before, it just was tough going upstairs. I know. You know, better testing. The majority, vast majority. You know, but I think most people want to or have anxiety about it yeah okay yeah you know have a but i think most

24:12 feeling a little weird. Well, also, Yeah, you'll be good. I know. I heard there's some other clubs around the country that are going to start opening up as well. Was it weird? Yeah, and it was all people that worked for the UFC. And then they just come out as they're breathing in No. I felt very fortunate, very fortunate to be there, one of the few people to be there live

26:21 That's how I felt. No mask. Yeah. And then there was maybe a couple other people at the bar. My friend Nick, he owns Guy Tano's restaurant in Vegas. But, I mean, how much of this is science? Because if you've got all these tables blocked off, right? But maybe I keep thinking as we're going around town doing our thing and being cautious with takeout,

28:36 I really thought I had it. I guarantee you I'm immune. Nothing. Yeah, I got it then. No. If it wasn't for the pandemic, I would have had to hold you as you cried. It's weird. I really think I have a sensitive nostril. broken my nose ever not once jimmy can headbutt you we can film and make great tiktok video that'd bones on the top of my foot. Those are weird, right?

30:50 Just a rib. Yeah, because it's a metal piece in your fucking shoulder. I remember someone saying that. Dude, I woke up this morning and I spent the first hour of my day watching Russian slap fighting videos. Oh, is that when the two guys... whoever goes first has such a monster advantage. I don't know. It's funny. Yeah. The tribal. Yeah. Yeah. It was one of those weird things.

34:09 Well, it's like in any fight, right? Here we go. Why do they powder up Why do they Here we go. Oh, my goodness. Oh, he took it. Oh. Hold on. He probably moved his head down when he was in mid-swing. They're also doing this in a prison by the way Do you need a doctor he asked him He's a big dude. Is that legal? Points for successful hits. The other guy seems like he's, oh, my God.

36:47 I love the trend. He's sweating. Kaboom. Wow, he's still here. He ain't gonna make this. Yee-ka-boo-yah! No, it's perfect. That's how you said it. It's horrible. Someone's going out. They gave up? We slept very good. Thank you so much for invitation. Respect. And when they do, it's spectacular. There's one enormous guy, and another guy looks like he might have lifted weights once in high school.

39:23 He has no force. Doish! Yeah. These guys know how to do it too. Oh, God. This kid. Boom. Oh. He's going to really catch him. Oh, God. This is, oh, good Lord. He's probably emotionally disturbed. Yeah the guy They get in a street fight What the fuck? Modified spinning crescent and the acid reflux special. That's two angles. False start. The street fight has two angles.

42:53 So the fact that he does this occasionally, he does them for everything. I was going to ask if he did the Murder Hornet and Praying Mantis, and he did do it. We're lucky they're little. In the World Championship, Kung Fu Mantis versus murder hornet look how quickly mantis will dominate by exploiting My friends, this is not for the faint of heart. In nature, the flesh and tissues of one feeds the body of another. Whoa.

44:39 the bee's still alive. I love it. He didn't even think for a second. Those weird shaped things are just designed to hold shit so they can cut it in half. It just sings, oh, I'm bigger than you and I'm just hanging out. Booyah! Yeah, and just dropped down with it. And they have preposterous amounts of strength relative to their size. Do you remember Starship Troopers?

46:53 Crazy. You don't realize how strong they are until you see. It was like two years old. But it feels like it's made out of wood. and this is a baby, a little baby It's made of monkey parts. Do you remember Starship Troopers? What were the bugs like? They had all kinds. What happened to him? Look how many there are. Yeah. Oh no, it's a cartoon Oh, wow. Oh, the whole movie.

50:03 because you can't go into production they're so fragile you knew she was a mess Hey, thanks for signing my book, Joe. It means a lot. All good people. Wow. I guess technically. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I'm just cruising along, park in the parking lot, go into the thing, and bling, on my watch. I don't like that. attacking me. And then I get the whole last

53:07 I do this whole run on cruise ships. Oh, really? We found out while he was here It was like $100 for a four-day cruise. So, okay, we broke it down to how many dollars it was a day. It's better than being homeless. We're like the way they make their money You probably get like one drink for free. I've never been on one. We're not going on a goddamn Disney cruise.

55:24 A comedian shows up on the Yes, I know. I would do that. So it could be like baking lessons and then just the bakers. I just put up these tutorials of how to make it. why do you come out flat? I used Segura was the first one. Well, right now, Tom and I did it remotely. Tom. And Alonzo had also. That's going to be my set. Musso and Frank's. Oh, yeah. That's going to be my set.

58:35 I think I'm going to do it like that. really? I think so. You look marvelous. Oh, Mr. Saturday Night, yes. Like, what the fuck are you hanging out with, Billy? Yes. Okay, you and I, if we were talking with no camera, we would talk just like this. And I know there are a few, but I think they're the minority. then like there's something about those days where you know especially like the early 2000s

1:01:42 But it's not because he means it. Yeah. gotta go super hard yeah yeah to surprise patrice o'neill with something comedically yeah you gotta These guys cared about each other so deeply But he relished it. Well, some people came in as guests and didn't understand it. and it was just like fucking no-holes barred, yes oh yeah I was on the show with him like in the later years and uh yeah he seemed like a very cool guy he's a lot

1:05:02 I think if you want to look at things from a psychologist's perspective, I want to talk to a psychologist about the mindset of people that panic in pandemics. Right. Who had it, were hospitalized, and are fine. Or not even hospitalized. I think his body was beaten down. pounding out two hours of material, get up four o'clock the next day I'm like, was I insane?

1:07:23 Yeah. Yeah. Look, we get that at the comedy store all the time. I didn't realize how, I always more, I mean, I'm Yeah. I remember the first time I ever sold out a theater. You know? And they're all there to see you. It feels the most surreal arenas. You can? I have no idea. Yeah. I mean, it's all gonna come I flew to Florida Saturday and then I flew back home first flight Sunday morning.

1:10:55 I go, but just fucking Yeah. I'm still going to go. It's the distance of it that makes it seem crazy. When I was in the rhythm of it, it's only, again, it's the motorcycle. It's the distance of it that makes it seem crazy. I didn't see that. that night right you're home you're home you know in your own. Fly that night. Right. You're home. Yes. I'm in my yard, and there's not that many planes going to Burbank now.

1:13:37 I don't know they got a the government helped them oh but I don't know the government getting I don't Yeah. When can it happen? Self check in. Come on. It could get a little bit less because this also then says because there's going to be Once the quarantine's lifted, you know, travel's going to be be someone um my sister sent me an article of some guy was like had to take a

1:16:03 My friend Lex, he flew from Boston to do the show. There was no water, no nothing. It wasn't a mad rush of humanity. The family of six, they vacation locally. Flying around. He just sparks up. It's like, that air is going to get to everybody. The little videos and stuff from the owner of United. I do feel like it's recalibrating how you look at everything,

1:18:59 Yeah. Three months ago. so it was all starting to really And I know Paula from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. The whole flight, she's just coughing in the back. I know. Yeah, she can get it. Whew. She just pounded out. Talk about travel. Whew. She had a little kerfuffle. It's Peter Sagal. And it's all current events. It's all stuff that's happening in the week.

1:22:08 You know, she does not have to do radio for tickets. I mean, that's the thing, like in entertainment, even when there were recessions, entertainment Oh, really? Everybody was like, what the fuck? So they bought, so now they control part of it. the stake, compromising Just Missouri, though. The plan dictated... The plan dictates that seating shall be spaced out according to social distancing requirements, which is a bullshit, nonsensical requirement.

1:25:06 Yes. Maybe they'll let you go there. How many seats is between you and me? so you'd have one quarter the economics of that what The diner Mickey Rourke scene. Yeah. Labor Day. Labor Day? How's that going to happen? Oh, would that be sweet? Brian Callen's already there. I salute you, Alan, and your wonderful mustache. And it's going to be young people.

1:28:15 Hey, I might move to Texas. And if they really say that we can't do stand-up until 2022 or some shit like that, I might jet. A lot of my friends live here. I like Houston, but I don't know if I would live in Houston. It says they're not doing it to make money. Everyone's got a sippy straw? What's up, bud? I think it's 200 so far. Now, I just read in the New York Times, I mean, I'm sorry,

1:30:47 Is that what it is? Some health official based on what data? What? But absentee ballots in this state, I guess, favor the Democrats, the incumbent Democrats, for a number of reasons. I don't know. Oh, I know. where my government doesn't represent me. And I'm sorry to say this also, but, you know, from what I have read, I just have to do like a cow chewing grass.

1:34:09 called personal responsibility and all that stuff we're not dealing with that i don't know what eric but we'll go from there. So there's basically a little bit less than half capacity. Oh, wise guys. Come on, pussies. Yeah, it's truly true. There's a lot of non-Mormons that live there, and they're the nicest folks. Preach, Tom Papa. It's a good spot.

1:36:14 Yeah. Oh man. Do you think kids will be back in school in September? It's like, oh, you're so smart. They pee. My daughter's just sitting on her computer eating breakfast in bed. let me be a fly on the wall and watch this nonsense yeah it's like it's regular school you know, Let me just stay there And the whole other part of the experience is not just about them spitting information into your brain in this two-dimensional space.

1:39:06 way to start out is make it so they don't want to go anywhere near each other. Separate themselves, more interesting than the fucking mad max wasteland that's left in the world as the off of each other in profound ways. Yes. It doesn't have that physical thing. I think there's a real potential. Yeah, I mean, all that stuff is very exciting, and I see how it's plausible.

1:42:13 Remember in Ready Player One, they had those haptic feedback suits. Right. bandwidth access to information and the way he was saying it you're going to people are going Will this be done before I'm old? But his five years is really tight. I could do that. What if you found out that bread was really bad for you? Or you can just have bread. But my bread is good for you.

1:44:57 before you came out. Do you get heirloom wheat You might have to. particularly in America, with wheat and sort of engineering it for higher yield, That's why people develop all these fucking weird gluten intolerance issues Flour, water, salt, and yeast. it's crazy i know that's not good it's not good well they're doing all this great stuff all these

1:46:56 I've given you a lot of bread. Look at that. I've been bringing bread to my friends, just dropping it off. It is so good. That's your bread with Nutella. It's one of the Onnit. Ooh, that looks good. It's really good. Chocolate hazelnut fat butter. Good stuff. Oh, that's good. I can't People would be so angry at me if they saw how I eat. that man has an appetite

1:49:54 you know he can't gain any weight either What have you been doing? It's really great. with a kettlebell in my life well you certainly can get a great workout with dumbbells you can I just think it's a great exercise for um for functional strength meaning on these sequences of movements. the quarantine hit on it we're still sold out oh really yeah we have a big sale that's going on

1:52:36 because of the quarantine. Whatever they had in stock before. he's a guy that I've talked about. He's been on the podcast before, but he's got this great Yeah, I know. It's such a weird thing. make you feel good it'll make you feel good uh yeah when I'm doing that no joke when I'm isolated You know? Even if I was testing everybody. That's what the real question should be.

1:55:24 Yeah. Like if you go to all classes, 500,000 kids. Ugh. My daughter's not going to find out until July. Wouldn't you? because if these kids can't be on campus, I was looking up some stuff. up at half capacity the one next to do you think that's in Salt Lake, too. This is not as good. idea yeah it's like yeah you should go do drive-in comedy i know she like, do it before anyone else gets the idea. She's like, yeah, you should go do drive-in comedy.

1:58:31 Yeah. I have to do two more things Then I got to drive my car home. No? Yeah. 2015. Oh, it's how fast does it go I should have the new one missing some hardware though Oh, so it shows the cones. It reads the stop sign. On V9, shows great improvements when it comes to rendering the surroundings on the screen, Oh, that's weird. Have you heard? there's sentry mode too right where right how many people they've caught keying in them oh really

2:01:32 They see this sweet Model 3 sitting there, Got to fix it. exposed a vulnerability in the vehicle system during the hacking competition. How about the radio? Yeah. My memory's super unreliable when I'm high. what? yes have you seen the What is he, 55? Really? So exciting. I'm back. Does that mean his rage? He said something about how the gods of war have uh brought him out again it

2:05:16 Here, Mike Tyson explains his desire to fight again. They've reignited my ego and want me to go to war again. way better at a way later age. One of the bigger examples is Vitor Belfort. Vitor Belfort, who's a phenomenal fighter, And so they're taking testosterone, but they had an old man's brain, but their body moved like a younger man. But with these fighters, the thing is they were never really out of shape.

2:08:01 And so say a fighter could go to the doctor and say, hey, I want to get a blood test and in the first place might have been that they they were using it illegally so it's a weird thing Because TRT Vitor was a guy who was in his 30s, Do me a favor. And he just blitzkrieged. Hold on a minute. Oh, really? He's the one in the red. Yeah. Just Yeah, look at him. Oh my god. Yeah.

2:10:31 There's a few of his fights from that era that were just absolutely terrifying. health it's a good move when you get older it makes your body work better but for fighting Maybe he's not on anything, and maybe he's just a special athlete. Again, it's only on the pads. That's what makes us think of Mike Tyson when he was in his prime. and was Joe Frazier's son.

2:12:34 Where it was just like every fight was an execution. Sometimes he had a towel around his neck. menacing physical guy or did you feel like well he's real nice yeah i know he's a real nice guy It sounds like something Kevin would say. dude he asked me about fighting like what about what did i ever do and i've never felt more like He's like a cultural icon.

2:14:24 It's like, oh, you came out of the sky and you're talking to me now. His Instagram, not his YouTube. and I am, I see what Holyfield's doing. Doing sit-ups. Let me go to all the videos. You think that'll be the fight? Nope. He was tough. Oh, he was amazing. He's one of the greatest heavyweights of all time either way that's okay wow um but it was Do you just jump right into that?

2:16:59 like not just a guy who's like a hobbyist. Imagine if in this day and age the three of them have like a fucking fight off. Would that be okay? Like the fighter can't take more than this or that, and you have to be within this level or that level. Yeah, I've seen people who actually were on Adderall who were told by the athletic commission that they couldn't take the Adderall.

2:18:17 and the Athletic Commission was like, no, sir. And I hang out with the baseball players, Me neither. they play until someone quits. about stopping early and some guys do but the old school hardcore guys would never quit right And Fats starts putting himself together. Like a baby, Fats. There's all these great road stories. It was famous that guys would have these sessions.

2:21:05 from 7 p.m. the night before Yeah, there was speed guys Right, right. What? Yeah. That's weird, man. It does feel great though to, you know, I'm not going to live that way, but when it's You have to think about it like if you're making your body, Holy cow. pours water into cereal because he won't use dairy what about a nut milk you'd never catch perry lang about food what he calls comfort food i'm like yeah that's a good name for it that that

2:24:57 You smell the flour in her apron. Come on. We're going to get some pasta on the bottom. Oh, the fucking pork. ifs, ands, or buts. That's not good for you. This is so good. That's all of that stuff wrapped into one. like the rolling pin the flour and she's making the dough and she's pressing everything and pouring Never. The only thing they didn't make is bread.

2:27:39 Wild, man. just have that. With the homemade tomato sauce. Oh, the tomato sauce, the smell. homemade pasta oh she knew she was good at it oh for sure we would go crazy she would she would They thought that she had 48 hours to live. She had a hemorrhage, and she fell down outside, and they didn't find her for like a half hour or something. Yeah. She would wear wigs and shit.

2:30:35 And my grandparents lived in this neighborhood that was really deteriorating, their next But it made me, the lesson was, okay, you have to really savor the moment because they Forget it. Not like, now I'm starving. There was no waste because they always felt like you could right around the corner could be another time Right. cold elk with this chipotle lime oh that's mayo oh it's so good yes avocado oil oh man it tastes

2:32:54 Yeah. warriors. Yeah. Like, I know a connection that just doesn't exist with your food yeah in any other way it's even if you grow from an animal I mean, Yeah, that's... Giant shift. Right. So there's a lot of people that started thinking about hunting. And then only in this brief moment have you not had to do any of that stuff. out they ran out wow yeah yeah crazy nobody ever thought what happened to some wendy's places yeah

2:36:09 That's right. Oh, that's why their Yeah, if there's nothing else open. I'm having meat sweats. That's what it's called? I think it's just lean. It's cause there's like a, that's what my brother, brother-in-law and sister, he in You know what you should try? They have way too many of them. They don't know. 100%. Is your goal for it to be really difficult?

2:38:57 Now, look, it's kind of similar to golf in a way. And then there's other people that just kind of like abuse it and have like, we're throwing That's the hardest shit. adam green tree he was uh he's the guy who shot that buffalo up there. And he put it all on his Instagram So he's pointing a gun at the grizzly bear. at him standing up watch this video right oh that's him that's it she comes up to the thomas

2:41:49 Oh, my God. Where are you sleeping that night? They stick it in the ground, and then they have a big car battery that powers the whole fucking thing. But there's something to all those kind of, it's just being thoughtful about any stage It changes her relation to it, the relation that she has in feeding somebody else. It's not like they were actually driving the boat.

2:43:37 Didn't even have a picture of it probably. Both my grandparents. Yeah. Like, shit. But I don't know if you guys are handling it other than just standing still March, April, May, three months of like trying to figure out what the, how real the threat Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is going to be one of those things where we look back. Can you imagine if it was up to you?

2:46:27 settle down. why are you Oh. in a really sneaky way. Right. world and maybe that's a question you should ask China. Don't ask me, ask China that question, okay? The Press That's not a nasty question. The Press But you pointed to me. I have two questions, Mr. President. I just want to let my colleague finish. well it's so strange to see that like that's such he's supposed to be the media guy right

2:50:26 He did. He would say the same thing. I mean, it's a complete breakdown of what that used to be. the worst time for some shit like that it's the worst i just you just want some consolidation of But then after 9-11, he had some speeches that made even people that I knew that were just give you reassuring yeah very very controlled this isn't a people gravitate you're just like okay you just want to hear that

2:52:51 So he keeps having these exchanges her eyes coming out of her head she's taking deep breaths so she doesn't pass out in the middle of Not that hi. You can get some water out of a creek and you just use this ultraviolet light. And they let them back eventually. And then this publicly traded biotech company is like, actually, we've already been working

2:54:55 Now, they brought them back once it was explained to them. Oh, And that's, Does this one know? is because they're so against that's my favorite part it's so but actually accurate and- Because we always, our whole life, we grew up thinking we're Americans. I know. It's getting going. Your credit cards are due. You can't just say that. on podcasts. Sounds good to me. But I think

2:57:51 It's true. I know. I'm looking forward to not feeling bad Right. Yeah, see at the bottom if you can find that Ironside. Fuck, man. No, it's brutal. What bad luck he got that that lady was Asian. You can't just get mad. Horrible environment. When he came out and talked about the ratings that he was getting off of these, it was just This can't be real.

3:01:16 at that shit, man. Oh, yeah. Just rally you. If you were poor, if you were a minority, you were never a fan. He's a reality shit-stirrer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, exactly. This is us. your whole life you've gotten ahead because you're self-congratulatory. But that's his whole thing. No. Yeah. Yes, we'll do it. all of his mom making all these sweets and i'm telling you just once you start talking about