Joe Rogan Experience #1483 — Jesus Trejo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Jesus! Yeah, no, I was excited. Try to get that shit out of your head. Yeah, it'll be tonight. And I know you've been really grinding up until this pandemic, but luckily you filmed Yeah. And, you know, if I would have named it now, 13. It takes 10 years to become a real comic. You know, I understand what they're saying that there's so you once you understand it's like there's an expression.

2:26 you know you're way smarter than you really are but as you get older the older i get and the more you know with time you're like that was not funny no at all so it's like you hold things less dear That's a good way to do it, man. because he was, if he wasn't the top guy, he was certainly at the top. everybody started doing that so throw your material out and then the the

4:56 And I think like Louis C.K. during that time too, like he disrupted the business model of introducing like the $5 special. Yeah, they do kind of like – So like this whole hour, they'll write over the year and it'll be dedicated to childhood. that's over here in america from england and does pretty much American-style stand-up. Wouldn't you say? When some shit's going down,

7:15 I'm more of the goofier side of things. Like Andrew Schultz got it nailed. Like, that's how excited I am real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even need an audience. Yeah, everything about it, it's impeccable. I love that. time guys like that are still out there swinging from the hips like throwing bombs you know like It's his channel. It's the only way he could do it. He's

10:09 lot of us sleep late and irresponsible and you know and for the longest time before all these stuff and just puts it out there and it's it's it's done very simple like editing wise but i That motherfucker- Yeah, I've got to follow him. They do it so good. And the fact that it's not realistic adds to why it's so funny. But when that thing dies, there's no emotional connection.

12:49 Right. And then you work your way through the worm world, the insect world, the spider world. And if people had an idea that that's what was happening, I, this shit's weird right because here's what's weird just what we know is true people have sex Right. This is how you don't have to look at it this way, but from this is how I look Two days. thing and looking forward to the next thing but if you knew for a fact that this life goes on

16:48 Right. with different outcomes. Don't run that yellow. coming from where are they getting the information why do they know to smell piss why do they know to pee on the spot that another dog did like i didn't have to teach my's that coming from? Where are they getting the information? Why do they know to smell piss? I think it's getting it through its genetics, getting it through its ancestors.

18:28 I think that's what it's called. Like classical music and talking to plants, like all that wacky hippie shit. reading this case study, like, like the one he said mean things to like the ice would crystallize in a very if you could see that, like, thoughts and feelings That's interesting because I think we inherently know that it's a real thing. Yeah, because we know those feelings.

21:16 Yeah, it changes your mood, hence the workout playlist. Or just give you that look. But it's because of my nervous energy. I was going to say, they were trying to teach dogs to smell people that had COVID symptoms. How COVID-y would you have to be for the dog to smell it? not like what normal people the amount of cancer cells They can tell when people have a diabetic attack, right?

23:57 number one, take a piss. Right away. How's it going through that quick? We're peering at life through the lens of being a human being. I'm up. and they're tearing this thing apart while it's alive and i'm like whoa daddy yeah Big ass giant bears. was i mean waiting that was in china she she got mad i believe it was in china she got mad Yeah. They want to kill things.

27:20 Yeah. alligator it's just i mean it's not even her fault like she didn't people don't get it drilled into It is a giant reptile. Amid the rescue attempt, witnesses report Covert very calmly saying, She was probably in full shock. his nine millimeter service pistol, killing the alligator and allowing the first responders If you live in Florida, like I lived in Gainesville for a bit, I saw alligators all the time.

29:53 Right. Go people eating monsters. A baby. We went out onto this lake, and we're going bass fishing. What is that? Normal. It's a different one. The real thing is they're overpopulated. You know, you got like a pack of gum and a fucking Diet Coke and you're looking for your Someone sent me a video. Get in there. everything they find right crocodiles kill people every day every time they're around people they try to kill them alligators will let most things slide

33:26 in that fucking already unmanageable shithole of pythons. There was a crocodile. Oh, my God. Where'd you get the hat, Bob? I don't know. Some guy gave it to me. ducks. And I guess the family spotted Yeah, man, and they're trying to lasso this tiger. Yes, man. One thing around, and look at these cowboys. Do you know what kind of a badass you've got to be to throw a fucking lasso around a tiger's neck on a street?

35:58 Someone's got a tiger. hilarious conversation about it he was about a horse first, right? I love that Tyson is into pigeons. They're an invasive species. They're like, you know what squab is? I didn't know that. There's something about pigeons. Oh, wow. People eat them for sure. A pigeon. People aren't going to the restaurants. Really? Rats growing more aggressive, even eating each other during the pandemic.

39:08 I mean, everyone's stacked on top of each other during this pandemic. Although like, I've been going to downtown LA and it's like all the Santee alleys and all that. go do that. Yeah, I went to downtown LA. I've been going to downtown LA And some people have opened up shops. weird to see what happens when they I saw an article that was saying people are criticizing Governor Newsom

40:41 We can't just stay home forever. yeah maybe in hindsight it's going to turn out that it was the right thing to do and that it and protecting themselves. or a hundred people, but what's right or wrong for an entire state of 40 million people to do It's crazy. Dude, did you ever see the article where it says, normally it's snitches get stitches. It was in the LA Times, whatever it was.

43:21 You can't give people that kind of power. Hand sanitizer. Like, definitely you have to know. Maybe you should do it that way. It's just cash. I don't know, man. because you can't... whether it's a license plate or a description or you got a video or something like that, you do that they want to give up the information about that crime, whether it's a license plate or a description or you've got a video or something like that.

45:03 Like the inception of this program, wasn't it like a neighborhood watch program? They're looking for information on a bunch of shootings and $25,000 reward. They don't have that kind of bandwidth. And even as he's talking, he's like, officer, I can't breathe. I don't know that that's a thing. That cuts off all blood to the brain. Like, he was just doing it right in front of everybody.

47:39 happened no i don't know what what happened leading up it. And I know there was more officers there eventually, right? I don't remember how many times he shot it. where you literally have life and death power over someone, It was like he was resisting arrest and he died. There's no video. to say dude i think people that work as cops are just like they're people they're exceptional people

49:52 weeks and when the baby came back was never the same again it was like I grew up around cops. Ptsd out that you just think it's gone. You see a gun. There's no gun there The rap music. Here's my license. You see gunshot wounds and knife wounds and fuck. for the wrong reasons they go into that job because they like having power over people It's like, fuck, man.

53:25 Dude, I don't know if anybody's ever done that to you, It's because it's your leg bone and your other leg bone and all that leg muscle and all that pressure. So if I have someone in a triangle, I have to squeeze. It's called knee on belly. on your shin and you just hold him there you're a cop you've got a handcuffed guy you don't have Did he become like that because of who knows whatever reason?

55:40 how can you make an argument They plant guns. It's like you're giving extraordinary powers to an ordinary person. that are positive all the time. And it's hard to do for them, and you don't hear about it. It's just the that is completely not fighting back. It was right there in Boyle Heights. not in danger. Like, what the fuck? This is the guy? Bro, first of all, I would

59:17 He's just hanging on like, bro, you just punched me a bunch of times. It sucks. He should just let that guy keep punching. This is big old barrel chest and skinny arms. He wasn't taking that guy down. They're so necessary and yet so Fourth Amendment probable cause, you know, And he's an actual police officer. Those are not the people that did that.

1:02:14 Yeah, play it a little bit. He have handcuffs on. As an officer, He might die. Right. Because I want the officers that's afraid to's the reason I got behind this badge, right? That guy. shout out to him you got four guys do i ever think there's gonna come a day where there'll be no crime i'm like no Anarchists feel like you should have no police, man.

1:04:45 feel compelled to put his knee or his shin on that guy's neck right and can and can think It seems like the online discourse now, if you go to Twitter or shit like that, seems horrible financial pandemic now there's riots and burnings and like what are shit on the Instagram Look at all these fires, man. burning people's houses, Now you're going to walk around

1:07:28 Somebody probably had life's work in that building. Yeah. Andrew Yang. because we've seen these scrambles with police officers where they don't have control You don't know how You're going to do a lot of talking Spanish, man. makes me feel sad like when a story like that is on the news i just feel sad i just feel just bad I want to talk through because it's so horrible.

1:10:35 best way for me to express myself. that's what it is yeah 100 yeah and it 100%. Yeah. And it's unfortunate that that's the side that people look to capitalize for some kind of clout or, you know. to get some clout you know they'll just use the right language use the right hashtags and like I really hope someone Photoshopped it. Make it smaller so we can all read it.

1:12:49 Repost. There's loose porn accounts that will try to take you off-site to somewhere. Is it, their baby in a test tube. I'm just saying the vast majority, we need male and female, he's not a woman and there's a mandate to have a woman. Sell it outside of my shows. Interesting shirt to sell. I hope they lift these restrictions fully. Wow. but I didn't think people were walking around with masks on.

1:15:45 her it was about the plague masks right right i'm thinking yeah yeah wasn't that like they had herbs So what's going on is that beak is filled with stuff. And he seems so cool in every way, 16th century plague doctor mask on display at the, say that word. It's like medicine history. and people were like, no, yeah, no. Mint. I remember Lindsay telling us.

1:17:53 The purpose of the mask was to keep away any bad smells known as miasma, which were thought Why is everybody wearing masks? Nobody bathed, no soap, no toothpaste. So back then when shit would go down, they didn't even know what it was. However, though the beak mask has become an iconic symbol of the Black Death, there's which killed 145,000 people in Rome and 300,000 in Naples.

1:20:01 What's the full total? Good point. a fat one, doesn't some stuff kill things? One in Verona, they lost 61% of their population. With them, it's density in families. They're kissing each other. Like people that are just outspread. Well, for sure there are people that if they get a disease, they want to give it to you. Terrible. Terrible people. you this is some selfish people out there oh terrible terrible people so how long did you

1:23:02 But then I ended up waiting, and I filmed it in November. Always. Man. it about documentaries. It's like, Wild Country, the one that's on that cult in Oregon. And it's my first special. Now, once it airs, once it's on Showtime, will it be available on an app afterwards Hopefully I'll find a home where it could be streaming stuff. May 29, Friday. She claims to have a psychic ability.

1:26:05 I'm appreciative for the opportunity to get to work with you too, man. And I'm, you know, when you perform, can move like I think a demon would be so I had to figure out how to make that I'm like, oh, it's an even added effect. That was weird as well. Everybody's watching everybody. It's very high. Yeah, writing and figuring all that out. When do you think we're coming back?

1:28:58 Yeah, people will want to go out. Later or sooner? And you're going to let them open up at 25%. Six feet, two seats together, six feet apart, one seat. I don't know. develop of hey you write during the day you get stuff ready you perform it at night record the Putting together a set and getting to work it out and just getting excited about, oh, I got a 10-13.

1:31:18 I'm going to do a shot before the show. Jesus. Yeah, sometimes, most of the time, I feel like I'll somehow do a better version the first time I say it, And, you know, you know, Ian Edwards was kind enough to I'm like, hey, can I walk you through everything? Do it. to let everybody know. Okay. I see you at the store, at the improv. fifth grade so my first exposure being you know mex comedians, like a Cantinflas or, you know, Chespirito, who was a playwright, you know,

1:34:10 but I grew up around, even though I'm born here in Long Beach, think your brain has that there's more nuance to your understanding of language He's like, you can't speak English or Spanish well. So he's like, I know, I don't speak it well, but I know you're saying it wrong. and communicate it properly. With boys, whatever you're into. getting ready to do this special there was a show in mexico that i went to go do and i did the hour

1:37:18 Word play. people martial arts their left hand it's like useless it's hilarious when they first learn how crosshairs have been adjusted. You know, you almost have to like want to soak in the environment. adjust your crosshairs, but it's been fun crowd. Heck no. English, So Joey was there quite a bit. Like, get out of here with that. It's like a South American country.

1:40:19 But it's just got a different vibe. That's a party town. If they want to, if like a young kid and they're not doing shit with their life, like, I go when they want to party. Miami. If they want to, Maybe be a DJ. I would have done something in the art still I could write with both When I was like My handwriting isn't great. I write stuff in my little notebook.

1:42:39 some impairment in here i mean you legitimately like to make things difficult? Seriously? I like to find a different way of doing it. This is what I use for sure. It's probably not the most efficient way, but it works for me. So you're doing all the right steps, whether you do it through email or whether you do it through notes. And it's also cross-platform.

1:44:43 The yellow does something to the eye, right? Looks like I'm serious. Licking pens. Strange people. That's how the no, it's not an inkwell pen. It's a regular. Weird. That's weird. Licking pens. and I didn't have a rider. He has index cards and Sharpies with every performance. and writing something you're you know you're writing the letter so subconsciously you're

1:47:15 and writing some of the words are lost and it's like no that wasn't the same it's really so it Perfect. And once I was like, destination on the left. So it's Jesus, much like in the Muslim religion in the Middle East. Right. Fuck. I wrote it just as I would. So technically, I guess, Yeah, but you're not married to that fucking It's like, welcome potato.

1:50:22 Yeah. What? What I meant is like, are there any English letters that, Yeah. those cool little dots and shit Like, that Game of Thrones guy that played the mountain. Yeah. We're lucky. It's called F? But you see the one far? whatever. It's not even saying how to say it. from several extended Latin denote the non-closed Go eat your pickled swords. Elon's kid's name, right?

1:54:35 Hmm. That character looks like when you buy alphabet soup Yeah, so it's called orthography. It says first document See if you can find Wow. to prevent them suckling their mother. So the humans were stealing the lamb's breast milk and then giving it to their family. There's another one. But what would that be used for? Like you could click the top of it and change.

1:57:24 Green bubble, yeah. It's kind of, it's just's sms for text messaging a green text green bubble yeah it's kind of it's sure that you've written and and translate it into printed font So it'll take, yeah, yeah. and then the big one for me is airdropping. It's just wireless. They're sneaky. 82% of all Yeah videos the whole works. Yeah, but there's something about you know, the green text message bubble, you know here

1:59:56 You have way more flexibility to change the way it looks. I've never gave it a shot, but... Right. It wouldn't even look weird. being fucking completely digitally connected i just want to be able to text people when i want clone though doesn't it like look at the way the camera's set up in the back you can't trick me They kind of go with a certain chassis and they dress it up in their own way.

2:02:42 But the only thing that separates Apple in that regard What is it, like the 865 or something like that? games monitors. And I think most phones are at 60 hertz. so but Apple's going to come up with that next too yeah yeah they're going to be toe-in-toe but Don't get caught up in that 108 number though because it's just a number. It's like a data number, right?

2:05:26 So they have – and then they're doing night vision like not night vision but night mode where they'll take a photograph of box and see through the the black plastic to see the internal components. And you're walking around like if a dude's wearing a wire wire and he's got a camera strapped to his black shirt. And it's like that one, it seems like it would be good for longer than the iPhone would.

2:07:12 Both. That's awesome. Their cameras are incredible. Yeah, it's just straight Google. So that's probably the best move for a straight Android phone. Where do you eat, Jesus? You know, your flight is at 11 o'clock in the morning. You buy a movie ticket, it's like, you better leave now. and his Apple Watch was ratting him out. It just happens at the same exact time, roughly.

2:09:59 Done. I'm not looking for advice from my watch Shouldn't you stand up and move around? That includes moving. Jesus. because there's going to be some app to notify you. The iPhones have it, but I guess the newer ones, they got rid of it, right? So it's like it fits perfectly with movies. Right, right. The Terminator. It's a dope phone. is starting to get interesting with these cameras and what you can do and the devices and things

2:13:20 and you can now turn your camera onto this table, And then they look at their phone. well, let me see the thick frame ones. it takes measurement, Yeah, same thing, technically. Does it scare you? It's very strange. what, with you. things are happening. Oh, you did? I've tried those, but they could never replace what stand-up is. Yeah. that can never replace

2:16:25 And I think it sheds a certain level of, hey, what's up? You know, and it provides it's provided many of the great opportunities of my life to be able to take care of my folks. Yeah, and it's, you know, that especially is reflective of where I was leading up to it. I mean, like, stand-up has given me a lot. you're you're affecting them and there's part of that that's like when you leave and everybody had a good time they enjoy the show it feels good like all right you

2:19:21 make sure that I dot my I's and cross my T's, but also really let this settle in. making the population healthier overall. The governor should go on television or do a YouTube and making a better diet for yourself, If they're going to listen to you about staying home, you don't think they're going to listen codependency of medications or you know it's definitely i think this should be both man i

2:22:11 And then other people get devastated by it. But also it's like how do we prevent it? When you say someone's being programmed, it's not always bad. don't know anybody that you can model on like one of the things that we were lucky about with educating themselves, whether it's going to college or not, not saying that that's the but also conditioning somebody to ask questions.

2:24:52 him talk like i'm gonna get shit done like he's he's so motivational he's like he's so he's so Yes. You can get access to magazines that someone might not afford it. i went to wilson high school and there was a program that came in, It's like I didn't know none of that. but they exposed me to this other realm of being a professional and reading. It gives you a sense of things that are happening that you're not exposed to.

2:28:40 You know, it's a cartoon. I mean, it's like the universe. I feel like we have a very specific way of recognizing patterns. I think it's a series of neurons firing and recognizing a certain pattern that seems correct. Yeah. Watching someone pull off a pirouette and land on their feet perfect. something satisfying it's like we're hooked to completing a task we're hooked to you know you

2:31:18 So he's just like stuck in his apartment by himself, getting weird. I just think they get easily annoyed. Ted Kaczynski was a real loner, but he was a fucking psychopath. you know the mind is so clogged up that you know they can't see through that yeah it's difficult Or every idiot has a village. Or a funny idiot. know, and, you know, all these things that happened along the way to get to an hour special.

2:34:03 We all enjoy watching others come up. you know comics give unconditionally like like like like you said happy to see somebody you know You've created a platform where you co-sign people, and you do it unconditionally. And you're paying it forward. He gave me a bunch of great advice. figure out a way to make money from comedy where I didn't need a day job. That was like the ultimate goal. You know, what do you, did you put any money away before the pandemic? Yeah. I always got into

2:36:13 She's like, we're able to make this. there was still something to get us by so it's always like even when toughs are when times are And that's what people are finding out now. o'clock it's eight a.m you're still sleeping he's like no i'm i'm up early you know i was like i'm It's like we never allow ourselves to be bored because we're always like checking our phone and that stuff.

2:38:28 I used to drive around and when I was driving around my mind is occupied with jokes. My mind is occupied Even sitting under a tree and the wind's blowing A man behind your back. like running for a while so it's circulating. and then listen to their notes while they were walking. staring at my iced coffee, seeing the ice cubes melt, and then they have like you can pay like a bunch of money for like the little cubicles that you like open and close and, you know, you leave your stuff there.

2:40:49 that definitely happens. Starbucks gets minimized. So it's like your pass allows you to get these meeting rooms. Oh, that's not bad. They have coffee? and I'm not being stared at by the barista who's like, Yes. me yeah all right well jesus uh tomorrow, the day this comes out, it'll actually be tonight, 6 p.m. Thank you, my brother. Ooh, we just touched.

2:42:46 Yay.