Joe Rogan Experience #1525 — Tim Dillon Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Tim Dillon fresh off a COVID test and I'm like I guess I'm the only one I know. Boa's all outside. They're doomed. Yeah. Do we get clobbered in the fall? game right you know that game yeah it doesn't work it's crazy so then everybody goes crazy There was all those SNL skits was no big deal yeah it was funny everybody was wondering everyone was like what what what are

3:06 Yeah. We're all trying to be relevant. All in. I didn't. their entire career thinking about global warming it's just not true like i know these people like Well, they find the pattern. like a fucking railroad train. And they're doing it so that they can get a job. But I'm also terrified. it wasn't nearly as intense right as it is right now like the feeling of like if you disagree with

6:44 Right. I don't see that many people on the right. Well, the QAnon stuff is like there is this idea that there's an intelligence dissemination operation happening, They're eating children, and then they get the adrenochrome, Yes. There's scandals all over the world. it's hard to keep up with. Where do you get them? That's what I'm saying. Just like anything else.

9:21 that Trump is fighting this underground war and it's all about human traffic, I just don't think that's borne out by the facts. And he's not even bringing it up. anything bad if you go you know you know john's wife has cancer you know their kid had a d-week There's a hidden meaning. but this is exhausting. rolls around he'll be like full full queue just leaning in who's who's behind the scenes pulling

11:15 She's QAnon. Right, right. She's in the background on the whole fucking show with black leather gloves on. There was a documentary about Errol Morris made a documentary about Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon said this very But when he dies in the game, so It's like a fun video game for them, and then they don't have to ask why they don't have health insurance and can't get a knee operation.

12:53 I think they may just pour a little gasoline on it. When you go out to a Trump rally, you want a little fun. He's riffing. Like, if you start listening to him, you can't stop. Scott Adams is an interesting guy. He's a very intelligent guy. He wrote the Dilbert comics. and down and you just you can't not listen have you ever seen scott adams talk about him no scott

14:35 I think he leans towards Trump being more persuasive than just going by his gut. Really? Yeah. But Trump does it extremely well. Every guy sitting in an office right now calling people up, trying to sell them shit over the phone. to me I think because everyone's like he's evil everything becomes about politics, It's like, dude, who cares? Yeah, yeah.

16:57 Yeah. I love the hands on the hips. you have to respect Nancy Pelosi. slaughtered people A million. Respect. He had cancer, I think. I don't think they do it that far. what do I do? Like, one of the big ones is the fact that it dies in sunlight. And it depends on who's reading the study and what their bias is and what they're trying to say. you're in a better position to deal with this than somebody who has not had that happen.

19:44 Like one of the reasons why the people in prison are doing so well with it, and that when you think of your immune system, in shape. So the LA homeless population the urine, the feces. So why don't we open the comedy store up and just have the homeless be the servers? They're very unreliable. Here's the camera. Oh, there's going to be millions. New York is a nightmare i've heard like new

22:45 a gang, the mafia, a crime syndicate, whatever. He's bad. Even the Black Lives Matter people hate him. What kind of a fucking human? The guy with the sleeve tattoos. He better not eat that pizza with a fork. And he gets up with his wife. Like, power to the people. He literally said you can only do one kind of protest Yeah. You saw them like sitting down, eating ice.

25:27 white people trying to light government buildings on fire. It was fine. I even laughed. to the targets that you think are They're trying to break down the fucking fence they put around the federal building, Maybe this is our summer of love. I don't care about those trees and the trails. Well, that's where Brett Weinstein was teaching at Evergreen, and that's where they came from.

27:03 Yeah. I don't give a shit about it. They were like doing these things and when people would- They would have those skirmishes. who were right-wing, people like Milo or anybody else. They were letting these fucking people direct. And I don't know why a lot of celebrities defend it. They're like, no, that protest is peaceful. They were gathered together.

29:35 They're doing the dirty work that the left wing wants to get done. No. When it stopped being funny was, how do you pronounce his last name? What is that? building on fire or direct traffic, they have a purpose now. I know. Maybe. But someone definitely did. Barriers. However you get there, it doesn't matter. Yeah. The DHS, because again, you're not going to overthrow the government.

32:59 I don't know if that's true. nobody got any rights back, by the way. What's your name? The only fun thing left to do is to overthrow the government and get thrown in a van. This is a fun, real one now. It is a fun, real one. How fun is that? How do you light the federal building on fire. But this is a real one. This is a fun, real one now. regular grown-up life, the ship has sailed.

34:34 You'll never please the far left and the far right. Who is he going to pick? They're going to be like, fuck Kamala. they elected someone, or they chose someone to be a VP based entirely on their sex and I'm like, guys, didn't you see it was going to happen? What? Is that true? He cured himself by doing chest exercises and stretching his lungs out. We're going to film you coming out of the basement.

37:28 Here it is. If that's the case, if like he knew that tax was coming and he blocked it just so that I mean, what? raises. Right. Right. And this is where they're fucked. to NYU. I'll cook. It's like- to be honest with you. What is she eating? I whip it out here. I don't think that. Because I have too much of that in me. He looks fine For three months for a virus where you can just

41:34 Right. Is she healthy? like that baseball player, Well, I take it back to Brett Weinstein again, because Interesting. that they can do research on it so they can find out what kind of cures they can create for coronavirus. It's very possible that this is a genetically modified virus. I mean, this seems to be, And so this may not be the end of this.

44:02 I just think people get weirdly uncomfortable when it's like billionaires want to do it. Where'd you read this? and he relented. But when you have You find that? Yeah, this is- shooting dust where anybody Because we figure Bezos has got $200 billion or something. I think a lot of them just have. I trust Warren Buffett because I feel like he's in Omaha just eating eggs.

46:14 a mansion. He should have a big mansion. Bill Gates? That's a tech outfit, man. He's really young. I'd love to go. I'd just go up to him and go, can you get rid of my Aunt Kathleen, please? Well, they're just stunned. That's nice. This is like pinky in the brain, but the real thing. But the fact that they're trying to do money relevant. When you go on Facebook now, it's just still crazy people screaming.

49:09 so if you want the recipe, I mean, literally, it's recipes and Q drops. if you were ignorant of everything Remember like news change and all those documentaries? Well, you got to wonder. that make a lot of sense and then they'll put marbles up their ass that's the way he said it Some people, if they put on a fucking MAGA hat and they have fucking liberals with a

51:21 You'd think like on a day like that, you just got, take a drive, put an album on, go take a drive and this is their sports. It was like high school Because maybe I'd be somewhere with a flag, waving a flag, running around. you're blaming other people, everybody else. thing that bothers me too about like whenever people talk about uh whether it's conspiracy

52:56 It's like if there's people out there that are pushing ridiculous conspiracy theories, Yeah. This was literally how it was forever. And the country is not good at doing that. Right, they ban them. I want to know who are these demons who I have no idea. Where does that lady A large percentage, especially in LA. what practice means you freak but dude la there's so many doctors and i'm like do you even have a

55:32 Yeah. Like, I took the wife to Venice. Right. Yeah, that's why I got this house in the desert because I'm like, I just want to get out. Yeah. This is letting everybody know that the whole idea of living in Manhattan, this is going to be great. Woo! I can't, yeah, make it there. Look at what it says there. God's Battle Axe. She's right there. We do a podcast.

58:08 Hey! I've never asked for anything from you people. I want It's important to show solidarity I mean, it's moving to a red. She's building a brand yeah, I understand what they're doing yeah want the light touch Bible quote. They're into that. They think it's coming. Oh, no. I'd feel comfortable if she walked into a hospital waiting room and started treating me.

1:00:46 That's exactly like de Blasio's wife. It's weird. looked forward to three months less who gets in. I think it'll be less of a mess be furious. And Trump seeing as how you and I don't know what the fuck we're talking Meanwhile, you bank online. Six feet distancing mask, spray everything down in between. We certainly can. yes, you should go to nursing homes

1:03:07 she goes, she goes, he's just trying to do the right thing Fucking Aunt Donna. That name's out. It's a rough year. But, you know, Tim Karen after all this? Oh, God, that name's out. But everybody, that was the pussy name forever. It's a strong name. How many kids a year? Let's do a poll. Wilhelm. You can't use it anymore. You can't use Adolf anymore. Yeah, but I-

1:04:37 How many children- What does it say? 46 children have been named Adolf since then. You just call it 13 Adolphs. Genghis Khan. Hold on. It's like a beautiful name, Isis. nice at all. You're allowed to be nasty to people. in the backstage Yeah, I'm with you. Now Fallon's on an apology tour because of the blackface. But there's only a few jobs in entertainment, right?

1:07:31 The Charleston. And do not ask me for sources. But Steven, Steven Paddock. Do not ask me for sources. He got interviewed nowhere else. And Ellen's, like, showing the people how it happened. There's two guys there? She stole it off an intern's car. I don't know why. keep it running. Look at it. She's dressed like Colonel Sanders. Not Colonel Sanders. She's just

1:09:33 Everyone says she looks so friendly. Yeah, she looks friendly. Yeah. Yeah. to do that because she's a woman, but if that was a man holding What a strange thing. Jamie knows. Like, this is bullshit. He was an arms dealer. Oh, she gave him a check for 25 grand. How about I put a zero on that, bitch? You get $34,000. Which is hilarious. Are they going to be able to do that?

1:12:27 I work my fucking ass off 10 hours a day. He's like, they don't want to come over here and walk through tents. Because I would have never imagined. Yeah, man. And there's paparazzi outside. And he's like, all right, right. And he was a- Sometimes that answers questions and sometimes like bro how embarrassing You're like, what's the drama this week?

1:14:45 You know what airline you're on. the escalator Weird. They yell at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's like the parking lot. Yeah, and then there's the restaurant I eat it when there's no meat around. Meanwhile, there's plenty of cows and we're sucking fish out of the ocean in record numbers. Isn't the problem that they fart, and then it causes methane?

1:16:40 Of course it does. And it was like, he goes, cocaine and heroin look at sugar and go, fuck, that's the fucking so endemic in our culture milkshake. Yeah, it just doesn't have much calories other than Yeah. No, look, a lot of greenhouse gases coming from shipping produce, folks. milk. What's your feeling on whole... I drink almond Okay, that's what I was about to say. I'm like sometimes you'll bring up a product

1:18:53 Woo! cream. It's not boiled down. Yeah, that's all yeah, and you don't fuck with almond milk. Well, I've had it. Yeah. read how much sugar it is per serving? chocolate almond milk. Every now and then I'll call her. have meat every now and then. Like, I'll bring her food that gone off the... She's probably losing her marbles. We Eilish. When did she do this? She's recently. I mean, she's like gone off the-

1:21:11 Yes, I did. Oh, jeez. She's great. She's a fucking great comic. What is that? The two of them together are very fun together. function without the store? Which is probably what a lot I couldn't handle the feeling every he's right. He's like, before you leave Joe Rogan, They don't know what the fuck it's become. Don't tell Joey. I'm going to buy him a beautiful house on a golf course.

1:23:33 So you're hardcore. Well, listen. The food is fucking sensational. Oh, Governor's has a tent. these restaurants are like, if you go down with that yeah Just fucking coming in hot and do my next special and now it's like part of me look What is that? Well, let's see. Well, you know, I was talking to Ron Funches yesterday, and I was like, Ron, what if this

1:26:13 Say, fuck it. doing that tent is because they're very low right now yeah but la is skyrocketing la is skyrocketing Everything cool kind of starts in New York, then it ends up in LA to get sold. No time. The outdoor restaurants. Yeah. Maybe I'll go there in a night. what the fuck is this? which is really good, So I was in a car and the riot started and I literally, instead of going back to my house,

1:28:28 I look like a cop my own parents immediately I know people have like vacation spots out there. About two. You don't have to be a surfer. I'm an East Coast guy. The violence rate in New York right now is off the charts. Dude, in five years, everything, it's a cycle. And that'll be the resurgence of the city. Reimagining public spaces. will be... are like skipping down the street,

1:31:24 I don't know. going to do. I may manage, you know, Remember Billy Beer? Yeah. And then I think, you know, he left, I think, You should have a bat coronavirus It's not a bad idea. really one of these kids that's really like a One of these guys that walk around, Just ill-fitting polos. Yes, Izod. His wife left. Oh, that's rough. why wouldn't you torture them?

1:35:13 Cuck clothes? Thin hangers. Like those types of material, it just doesn't work. Yeah, I never have either, but I have been fascinated by the whole Paris fashion show And so weird. I think it's an entire business built on bullshit. where it's like, All these things. having all our medicine made in China. I mean, that would make sense, right? Because

1:37:40 right about things, those things And he's like, is that what I should take? If any doctor says this helps anybody that doesn't want to take it is to me is crazy And they're trying to figure out, like, why is this guy a- It stops the virus from spreading. What is real? Who's doing the studies? I take vitamin D. For COVID. I should start. I have an addictive personality, so whatever I do, I tend to do it a lot.

1:40:33 It's like you end up getting addicted to something. you become better at it so you become more successful so you survive because That's what it is. I mean, it's just, it's crazy. a hundred years. Right. When was the first We're descendant of like, youant of tent carnivals and circuses. It was probably in the Middle Ages. Storytellers. Right. Yeah. Good point.

1:43:55 almost like a low-key depression right I'm not doing stand-up it's not bad but It's great. crushed. But it can't be anywhere near as fun. you're having in terms of like I mean, And I, and I, Those drive-in things you were talking about doing those? I just personally I would rather do that Yeah, and Burt's like, Yeah. They're going to be thankful. I'm hoping by this winter, we're kind of start revving up again. Because we can't, I mean,

1:48:21 Like you can't take all of this away forever. Yeah, they need to leave their homes. They've got to quarantine everybody and put them in, but it's hard, man. Yeah. They got to quarantine everybody They weaken and they disappear. Is it the people that have- And then if you fuck like 30 people, by the time you fuck the 31st person- Yeah, historically.

1:50:29 There's a real housing issue. I don't know. It's a great movie. I should, I mean, I don't have a gun. I should get a gun. I should get a gun. I think I texted you second week of quarantine. I'm like, should I get But now that I'm like, yeah, I should get a gun. I think I'm a centrist. option it's like I think a lot of them have, like, a degree. I know it's fake.

1:52:52 You would be so much better off if you just found something you enjoyed and did it. Don't take my rice. Yeah, but look, I mean, you could, yeah, I'm all for people having guns. Yeah. like everything else that's ever fucking existed I think we could be in a little bit of a blip and we'd make a nice resurgence. And in a year They don't want these rights.

1:54:53 They want to go on a cruise once a year. There's a few of those people. They just enjoy like putting something warm Go out on the lake and get railed up. as things, as ends when Joe Biden gets into office. I call her K-Dawg. No one will care about politics. Like, if you're 78 and you're barely She'll put the cuffs on you. I mean, someone else that shares her values, which are aesthetic politics and a lot of prison.

1:57:28 Let me hear it. Give me some. on each of these things. But today I want to talk about one thing, very straightforward. months. 40,000 lives. The people act responsibly. And it's not about your rights. It's about your He's going slower now. job I mean look at this one she's Indian she's black she doesn't know what she is she's everything They could have been out there fighting wildfires for a dollar an hour.

2:00:41 But that's what I mean. check the boxes. We unite in our effort to defeat invisible China virus. I mean, this is the end, Joe. Trump was not happy about that. He goes. If there was ever a good reason for no shutdown, check out this jerk. He's basically like this. Low income housing for sure. They're just people are talking. which are Hollywood and You mean the Confederate flag?

2:03:59 Yeah. He's not thinking. This is a guy that just belittles people, vindictive, blames people. Look at that. and shit and like people make fun of him for that. The water doesn't come out. Because my hair, I don't know about you, but it has to be perfect. Yeah, Bill Maher looking gaunt. But I don't know how many people are going to watch. Clinton? That's YouTube suppressing their views.

2:06:36 You're part of the problem, Jamie. mail-in voting and we can give you many other locations and sites. What has happened is that's part of a big negotiation. Here's all the complicated stuff. I wonder about the kids that are growing up under him, like the young kids that have no and just being like, yeah, nothing means anything. It's crazy. Right. I said abolish teachers.

2:08:49 Abolish teachers. I think that's like, we would have to make cops responsible for suicides too then. Get rid of them too. When people don't have a job? I see fires all the time. They're white supremacists. very few good solutions. With COVID, Yeah, but you know how much money would be involved in universal basic income for like how many millions of Americans?

2:11:03 Mortgages and rent. Six. Because I think right now people are just living without the idea of hope or the idea that something is going to get better or reopen. push for that kind of clarity. out, and I don't mean bottoming out completely, cost of financing low i mean that's the other thing interest rates are going to creep up and It's a lot of problems. I'm trying to end this on a happy note.

2:13:40 this somehow. Yeah, we need a war with China. I think we probably need a prolonged war with China. Who's closer We build a thing. Oh, okay. What about the body cam footage? a suspect who indefensible. I'm just saying. But that's murder too then. He can't get off. The big cop with the dogs. We got to move on. Okay. fucking life. It was amazing amazing and you've done that

2:16:31 that makes me most happy it's no different